CHAPTER 8-
Nick slept the rest of the night cuddled into his friend's body. He didn't have any nightmares.
When Brian woke up at nine in the morning Nick was still resting his head on his chest. No one could explain the wave of happiness that took control over him. Brian was in heaven knowing now he'd be able to help Nick.
To wake him up Brian ran his fingers gently through his hair, slowly caressing the back of his neck. After five minutes smoothing him, Nick finally woke up.
First he felt weird as he was having someone hold him. But then he looked at those blue eyes and saw his loving friend there with him. Nick knew he loved Brian. He was his best friend and nothing would pull them apart.
"Good morning." - Brian smiled at him.
"Morning." - Nick answered shyly.
"Come here." - Brian said making Nick lay his head on the same pillow and look him in the eyes. - "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes. Thank you." - Nick smiled.
Brian didn't reply to this. He pulled Nick into a hug and held him tight. Nick responded to this placing his hands around Brian's waist and cuddling his head under his chin, into his neck. Brian kissed Nick's forehead and just let time pass by as they kept there holding each other. To Brian it was a huge relief being able to help his little buddy. To Nick it was the needed warmth of someone's touch he had been desperately avoiding.
Brian sighed happly and sat on the bed. Immediatly Nick sat too and threw himself into Brian's arms. Brian smiled surprised.
"Hm, I suppose you missed being this close to someone, huh?" - he giggled.
Nick held him tighter.
"Yes, especially to my best friend."
Brian kissed Nick's hair. He just loved the feeling of holding Nick. Poor kid had gone through so much. Brian wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it himself. Nick was a strong little boy.
"What do you want to do today? Do you want to talk to the other guys? They miss you, Nick. What about enjoying France a little, huh?"
"No." - Nick answered. - "I do miss them and I want to do what you say. But not now. I think... I think I just need a little more time. Right now I just wanna be with you."
"Ok." - Brian said running a hand softly over Nick's back. The kid was right. Brian had taken the most important step, now he needed time and patiente to deal with Nick. To bring him back to the world.
Nick and Brian spent that whole day together. They watched TV, they played video game and they talked about the meeting they'd have tomorrow. Their producer would present them to the first songs from the Backstreet Boys they would record. And these news couldn't have come in a better time. This would help Nick a lot in catching up to the world.
All the boys were excited with this. Maybe in six months they would have their first album ready. Just the thought was enough to make them laugh and grin during the whole day. AJ, Howie and Kevin came by their room to talk a little about this, but soon they left. All the boys noticed the difference in Nick's behavior. Not that he was back to the kid he used to be, only now he was a little more outgoing than he had been during the last week.
Kevin gave Brian the eye before he left. Brian smiled at him with all his heart and his cousin knew Brian had somehow managed to get through Nick. Things would finally begin to walk the right way. Now their dream was about to begin. And their lives were about to begin again.
Both guys let go of the TV at eleven o'clock.
"I'm sleepy." - Nick said.
"Oh, me too. We will have to be up a little early tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Then we'd better get some sleep." - Brian said.
"Yeppers."
They stood up and Nick headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change cloths. When he left Brian did the same and went back to the living room to lie on the couch.
Fifteen minutes passed till Brian remembered he didn't say goodnight to Nick. He stood up and went to his bedroom.
Nick was under the blanket, eyes shut. He was sleeping and Brian moved really slowly not to wake him up.
Brian was now beside the bed and he leaned over to kiss Nick's forehead.
"Goodnight, Nick." - he whispered as he was about to leave the room.
"Brian..." - Nick opened his eyes making him turn around.
"Yes?"
"Hm... can you... can you sleep with me tonight?"
Brian looked at him. He could see the fear in Brian saying no to this question dancing in Nick's eyes.
"Yes, Nick. Of course I can."
Nick smiled at him as Brian climbed onto the bed and laid beside him.
"Thank you." - Nick rustled.
Brian reached his hand to touch Nick's cheek. He caressed his hair and stared at him.
"I'll be always here for you, ok? You are my best friend and I love you, Nick."
Immediatly Nick placed his arms around Brian and rested his head on his shoulder.
"You are my best friend, I love you too." - he said as Brian held him tight.
It didn't take much until Nick was fast asleep in his arms.
They were at a Nirvana's concert.
Nick could feel how much he was enjoying it. His favorite band playing his favorite songs, and he was right there in the audience, singing together, freaking out just like the rest of the crowd.
He had a friend there with him. He looked at him briefly. He was enjoying it too. And who wouldn't enjoy Nirvana? He thought while a big smile spread across his face.
The images began to get fuzzy as Nick was shaking his head, his hair on his eyes, that loud music making him go crazy. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed himself that much. Suddently he felt a hand grabbing his arm.
It was him. It was his friend.
"Come on, Nick! I have backstage tickets!" - Taison said smiling at him.
Nick smiled back not believing this.
"Oh, my God! No way, I can't believe!!"
Taison showed him the passes.
"Oh, man! So are we actually going to see Kurt and the rest of the band?!"
"Sure, boy! Just follow me!"
Taison took him by the arm and they ran through the crowd towards the stage. Nick didn't know how they got to this place. It had big black walls and a white door with a star saying "Nirvana".
Taison looked at him waiting. Smiling.
Nick smiled widely at him.
"Come on, man, I can't wait!!!" - he exclaimed.
"Me neither, Nick." - Taison grinned.
They entered the room. It didn't look like a dressing room. It had a bed on it. A bed and a TV showing a Nirvana's concert.
"Where are they?" - Nick asked disappointed as Taison came closer to him.
"Why do you wanna see Kurt, Nick? You are way prettier than him. Has anyone ever told you that?" - Taison was now touching Nick's face. - "Has anyone ever told you how cute you are?"
Nick stepped back.
"What are you doing?" - Nick asked fearfully.
With a fast move Taison held Nick's arms and whispered something into his ear.
"I thought you liked Nirvana. You know whats my favorite song...? Its called RAPE ME. Ya now that song, Nick?"
The little boy was shaking. The fight began.
He tried to get away but Taison threw him on the floor, leaning down and smacking him, holding his arms as he screamed desperately. He was hitting him with a thick wood piece. Something broke inside of him. Nick couldn't move.
Even so Nick was still fighting, fighting against those strong arms that threw him onto the bed and were now ripping his cloths. Nick was screaming. He was screaming so loud he thought his lungs were going to blow. But the loud sound coming from the crowd was suffocating his screams. The people watching the show was making way too much noise, no one would hear him.
"Taison, stop!!!" - Nick yelled.
But the man punched him in the face and Nick tasted blood. He went on in ripping his pants.
"I'm gonna fuck you and nothing will stop me, Nick. You know why I'm gonna do that? Because you feel so damn good... Oh, Nick, you are so tight!" - the man shouted as he entered Nick.
"NOOOOO!" - Nick cried out. He needed to get away, someone had to listen to him. - "NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! LET ME GO! GO AWAY, GO AWAY!"
But the man kept thrusting and everything was darkening around him.
"Don't hurt me, please..." - Nick whined desperately.
Brian felt Nick holding on to him helplessly and woke up.
"Don't hurt me, please..." - Nick whined shutting his eyes and holding Brian tight.
"Oh, God..." - Brian whispered.
Nick kept whining and sweating, never letting go of Brian. He knew he was having a nightmare.
"Nick..." - Brian ran his hand through his hair but Nick didn't stop. - "Nick, wake up!"
"NO!" - Nick cried out as he buried his head on Brian's chest.
Slowly Brian made Nick let go of him and laid him on the bed, keeping his arms still and making their foreheads touch.
"Nick..." - Brian whispered as he stopped moving. - "Open your eyes, its ok."
Nick did what he said. As soon his eyes met Brian's blue ones he struggled to get his arms free.
Brian let go of his arms and Nick used them to bring Brian closer, to hold on to him and cry. Brian laid down again and pulled Nick into his arms comforting his sobs.
"Shiiii... its ok now, Nick. No one is gonna hurt you."
"He is gonna hurt me, Brian! I know he will, he won't go away! He will come back!" - Nick sobbed against his neck.
"Nick, I won't let anyone hurt you. Never again, did you hear?" - Brian asked as he caressed Nick's hair.
Nick didn't answer.
"Calm down, baby... I won't let anyone hurt you."
"You promise?" - Nick asked.
Brian gasped. Oh, God, he was so innocent! Nick was so pure... how could anyone had done that to him? He didn't understand. How can someone abuse a child?!
"Yes, Nick. I promise. No one will hurt you again."
Slowly Brian sat and Nick laid his head on his lap.
"Thank you, Brian." - Nick whispered as Brian never let go in caressing his hair and the back of his neck.
Nick turned around to face him.
"Will I have these nightmares forever?" - he asked.
"No, Nick. They will go away sooner or later. You'll see. Its just that everything is still so fresh in your mind... But it will go away. I'm here to try to help you with that."
"Can you make these dreams go away?" - Nick asked with pleading eyes.
"I can't make your nightmares go away. But if you want I'll always sleep with you and everytime you have a bad dream I'll wake you up and I'll show you there's nothing to fear. Everytime you dream of Taison hurting you I'll make you feel safe, I'll protect you against this fear, get it?"
Nick nodded slowly.
"Brian, you will always be my best friend." - he said in a low voice as he closed his eyes.
Brian kept smoothing his hair until Nick fell alseep on his lap. Brian didn't dare to do the same. He spent that night awake fearing he would have another nightmare. But Nick didn't. He slept peacefully as Brian watched him running his fingers through his hair. No one would hurt that kid as long as Brian was there. And from now on he would be always there.
Three months later and lots of things had changed. Nick was now fifteen and Brian twenty years old. The Backstreet Boys were recording their first album, named after the group.
They were still in Europe, and it was getting hard to be away from family. They made phone calls weekly, and still it wasn't enough. But it was for a good cause. Their careers and their dream.
Little by little Nick began to hang out with the other fellows, and Brian also pushed his mind to come up with new tricks. Slowly Nick was turning into their old friend, pulling pratical jokes and laughing. But something didn't change. Everytime they were goofing off and it happened some of the boys touched or hugged him Nick moved away slowly. He didn't want. He couldn't let himself be touched by anyone other than Brian. And he couldn't help it.
Brian slept with him everynight, and another thing that didn't change was Nick's nightmares. Sometimes he would be able to sleep a whole night without having them, but two, three times in a week they would come back to haunt him.
Time is everything, and Nick would get over it.
At the begining the other fellows found it weird but soon they got used with Nick and Brian sleeping cuddled to each other. Nothing was going on between them but friendship. They had no idea how much that meant to Nick. To have someone there for him.
They were still in France recording their album. It was a a sunny afternoon and Nick was alone in the room.
Brian had gone out with Samatha, his girlfriend, and the other boys were all busy doing something.
Nick went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. He reached for his backpack and took it there with him. He knew perfectly what he wanted to do. It was the first time he would try to do it since what happened. He didn't actually want to do that, but he needed to make sure nothing had changed.
Nick found what he wanted inside his backpack and took it.
It was a magazine. A Playboy. Nick stared at it for some moments. Yeah, he definitely liked the sight. He opened the magazine and began to look at the photos of that hot women.
Slowly he felt his member getting hard. Well, at least this was ok. Nick found the poster with a gorgeous naked brunette looking at him. Slowly he put his right hand inside his boxers to touch his cock. He was hard.
Nick began to move slowly stroking his lenght. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was wrong. Nick wasn't liking it. Actually, he was feeling dirty doing that.
"Maybe if I open my eyes and LOOK at the picture..."
Nick tried again. God, it wasn't working! Nick began to panick. What if that had ruined his life? Wouldn't he be able to have a girlfriend? To make love to her? To have his own family? Oh, God, Nick wanted to have babies, he wanted to be a father some day!
He closed his eyes and stroke himself roughly.
"Damn!" - Nick threw the magazine away as he began to cry in frustration.
He stopped everything. He cleaned the tears from his eyes with anger as he looked for some cloths to take a shower.
"It doesn't matter how hard I try. Nothing will be normal again. I'll never be happy again." - Nick muttered sadly as he entered the shower.
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BUT ABOUT THE STORY... HOW FAR IS BRIAN GONNA BE ABLE TO HELP NICK? :: WONDERS ::