Disclamer: See first chapter
~Other Stories by me currently on Nifty~
"AROUND MY WAY" last updated - March 11
"THE HANDSOME JEWISH YOUNG MAN" last updated - March 17
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"I HATE ANTHONY"
CHAPTER SEVEN: WHERE IS RILEY?
By Maddy A. Dante
"Where the hell is Riley?" Regina asked Brian. Riley hadn't showed up for school all week. One or two days went un-noticed, but for him not to show up for the whole week only brought out the concerns of his friends. His presence was missed and felt by everyone, including Tracy. She missed the little arguments that they would have. Sure they would pretend to hate each other, but they really didn't. It was an odd friendship that they shared, but it was theirs and only they understood it. Brian had an idea of where Riley was and he was bothered by his thoughts. He knew that Riley's dad had a drinking problem and tended to beat Riley when under one of his drunken stupors. Riley had shared that bit of information with him when Brian had discovered him after one of his fathers session's. Brian knew that he should have told someone what was happening, but he couldn't betray his friends confidence. No, Riley promised that if things got too bad he would tell on his father and in Brian's eyes things hadn't gotten to bad yet. So he thought.
"I don't know. We haven't talked in like four days." Brian replied. The two of them were on their way to lunch, but Regina needed to stop by the library. She ran into Brian and he walked with her.
"You think everything is a'ight wit him?" She asked. Although she wasn't very close with Riley, they were still friendly and she found it odd that he seemed to just have disappeared.
"Honestly, I don't know. I mean, he's probably okay, but I don't know what 's been up with him lately." He lied. He knew that there was something bad going on. He felt it in his gut.
"I'm not following you Dizzy." Regina stated inquisitively as she pulled back her cherry red hair into a bun. Brian couldn't betray Riley's confidence, but he needed to talk to someone about how he was feeling.
"I don't know, he just seems to be so sad lately."
"I know what you mean. I thought it was just me. Do you think that he is still sad about his mom?" She asked. When Riley was fourteen his mother had been murdered in a robbery at the cleaners she worked at and to say that he had been devastated would be putting it mildly. He was the youngest child and very much "a momma's boy" It happened right in the middle of freshman year and he hadn't been the same since. For nearly a year he suffered from deep
depression and had to take medication to ease it. Things that he once enjoyed doing, such as sports no longer held the same appeal. He went through a dramatic change. He stopped playing sports and changed his appearance. People who had heard of his mother's murder on the news would come up to him in school and give him their condolences and that sickened him. He got so annoyed with all the strangers coming up in his face that he started to alter his appearance to keep them at bay.
"I don't think you ever get over losing your parent." Brian replied as they made their way down the corridor.
"Yeah, you right. Damn what the fuck is wrong wit everybody in dis group. Everybody is so fucked up. Tracy bony ass can't get a good man, Riley sad ass is on the low somewhere, you...well I haven't figured out just what the fuck is up wit you yet. Shit, I'm just glad that Jacky's mulatto ass is out of dat funky ass mood. I don't know what the fuck got him so happy, but I'm just glad that he is back to him old self." Brian was glad too. He saw that change in Jacky and it pleased him. It seemed that everybody around him was so sad all the time and that could feel draining. Brian liked to think of himself as a happy, carefree person and when the people around him were upset he had a tendency to put their problems on his shoulders.
"I know right. I just hope that everything is cool with Rye."
"Do you want to drop by his house lada?" Regina asked.
"Yeah, but I have a key club after school. Can you wait for me?"
"Key club? You are such a dork!" Regina playfully teased him and Brian laughed and pushed her. The more time that he spent with her, the more he liked her. Now that his crush on Jackson was over, he no longer held that immature animosity towards her.
"Yes, I embrace my geekiness. It's a choice, not a way of life." He stated matter of factly and they burst out laughing.
The library at their school was impressive. Most schools in the ghetto didn' t have adequate facilities to nurture the minds of their students, but at their high school that wasn't the case. Thanks to grants and donations their high school had some of the best facilities that rivaled the schools of the suburbs. The library had to be one of the biggest in the state, with book stacks that traveled up three floors. Although it was filled to capacity with an endless supply of books that wasn't the main attraction for the students. There were only two attendants at the library at any given time leaving open opportunities for the students to wonder alone by themselves. They would make use of the seclusion and christened the library as a make out spot. The risk of getting caught was lowest if you hid on the third and last floor where the books of poetry and plays were located. Regina wanted to check out a book by her favorite poet Nikki Giovanni so that's where they were headed. They climbed the three floors until they reached the top, but stopped in their tracks when they heard arguing. Brian recognized the voices of Anthony and Lucia. Regina couldn't help but to give into her nosiness and stayed to watch while Brian rolled his eyes and went into the next isle. Slowly she crept up and hid behind a book stack to listen.
"I am sorry baby! I didn't mean for that to happen." Anthony pleaded with Lucia. He was surprised that she agreed to skip class and meet him in the book stacks. He wanted to get back together with her. Things would be so much easier for him if he had someone to keep his mind off of things. He didn't feel like he would be using Lucia since he did care about her, but his heart didn't belong to her. It belonged to someone else whom he could never share that with.
"I know baby. But, I am so pissed that you would hook-up with dat bitch! Fuck Anthony, I thought we had something special!" Lucia shrieked in her New Jersey born Italian accent. She threw up her hands in frustration and began to pace back and forth down the book isle. She ran her hands through her thick, curly, shoulder length blonde hair and sighed in frustration. Her head was telling her to not to forgive Anthony. Her mother always told her that once a man cheats, he will always cheat and she didn't want to be in a relationship where she would have to worry about that. She wanted to be with a guy who wanted to be with her and only her. In her mind she thought that she was in love with him and she felt that his feelings were mutual. She couldn't believe that he would stray away from her especially with someone that she was supposedly friends with. She knew that she shouldn't get back with him, but there was just something about him that made her weak in her knees... and in her judgment. On the surface he was this cocky, machismo guy who thought that his shit didn't stink. He had this cocky persona that put off a lot of people at first, including her.
They had met during a basketball game at the beginning of the school year. Lucia was all too aware of who he was. Anthony's reputation preceded him to those in and out of his circle. He was a known player; dating and breaking up with a different girl every week. All the girls knew this yet they always seemed all too willing to put themselves at his mercy. She thought those girls deserved what they got once they got dumped. He hit on her one time at a
party and she wasn't even trying to hear it when he came up to her trying to
spit his rap in her ear. Their side had just won the game against their rivals, East Side High School. The screaming of the spectators filled the crowded gymnasium with the joy and excitement of victory. Lucia was amused with the cheery grins of all the basketball players and gazed at them. She loved how they seemingly evolved from rough playing, tough guys back to the giddy kids they really were. Then, as if it was fate their eyes met. They knew each other, but rarely spoke. It was his attitude that put her off and she never made the attempt to get to know him. She looked over at Anthony and it was like she had noticed him for the first time. His short, thick black hair was drenched with sweat and his maroon and white uniform stuck to his lightly tanned milk colored body. At that moment she saw for the first time what all the other girls had noticed long ago. Anthony was attractive, there was no getting around that, but it was something in his eyes that made her want to get to know him. His dark green eyes held secrets that peaked her curiosity.
They held a mystery that she wanted to solve. After the game Jacky had thrown a party at his house and it was like everyone in school came. Anthony was busy shooting pool with Carlos when Lucia decided to go over and introduce herself. As she was walking towards him she ran into someone, sending them crashing into Anthony. She recognized the boy from school, it was hard not to miss him. In their school everyone dressed in the appropriate urban attire, but not him. On any given day you would see this black kid walking around with a Linkin Park T-shirt and a pair of skater jeans on. Sometimes he would wear these black rimmed glasses that just screamed dork. She didn't know why that guy would do that to himself, it was like he just wanted to get picked on. The black kids drink flew on Anthony sending him into a rage of curse words. The kid just stood there silently as Anthony continued to berate him with insults of how stupid he was. The kid, who looked out of place as usual wore and Ramon's T-shirt and mumbled and apology before walking away. Anthony chased the kid down and mumbled something to him that made the kid storm off in anger. All attraction that Lucia had felt had faded after she saw how Anthony had treated that guy. She walked off and ignored him for the rest of the party. It wasn't until two weeks later that they found themselves the only one's not partnered up at party, that they eventually hooked up and she didn't regret it. It had been a fun few months and up until he cheated she thought that every thing was perfect between them. How wrong she had been.
"Baby if you give me one more chance, I swear I won't fuck up again. Come on! I love you Chi Chi." Anthony pleaded and he knew he had her once he called her by his pet name for her. He didn't love her, but he needed her distraction. If they were back together then he could focus on her and not the thoughts that were driving him crazy. He hated the things that ran across his
mind. Self demons threatening to overtake him. He would not let himself become what he knew was wrong. What he knew was wrong, but felt right. It was a selfish fear, but it was his alone.
"Okay. But if you fuck up again its over for good. Do you understand?" Lucia was weak, Anthony made her that way. She walked over to embrace him and they hugged for a moment. She didn't realize that they had an audience until Regina made her presence known. They were the kind of friends who you hang out with inside of school, but never out of. Regina didn't like Anthony because of how he treated Brian. She knew that the two of them had been friends when they were younger and couldn't understand why things had soured between the two of them. All she knew was that it pissed her off every time he said or did something to hurt Brian.
"Why da fuck you taking his punk ass back?" Regina asked in her black ghetto girl vernacular. Lucia looked at her sideways. Part of her wanted to tell Regina to mind her God damn business, but she knew she was right. Before Lucia had a chance to respond Anthony did.
"Because we love each other so why don't you mind your own fucking business! " He yelled. Brian was busy looking at a book to notice the scene that was unfolding around him. It wasn't until he heard Regina in the process of loudly cursing someone out that he went into the next isle to see what was going on. Once he reached Regina he wanted to turn right back around. Anthony stood staring at Regina coldly with his arm around Lucia. Brian cringed as he saw Anthony and Lucia's embrace. He quickly regained his composure and reminded himself that Anthony was something that would never happen. He didn't even want him...are at least that's what he would tell himself. Everyone had heard about Anthony cheating on her and knew that she dumped him. Now apparently they were back together. Against his will, Brian's chest tightened when he realized this. He fought back the jealous urges by remembering all of the horrible things that Anthony had put him through over the years. He thought about the betrayal, the first. The day when his beetle didn't protect him. `FUCK THAT!' Brian yelled to himself. He didn't need any protection. He was sick of Anthony walking around like his shit didn't smell. What made him think that he was better than anyone else. It was one thing to fuck with him, but now Anthony was fucking with one of his friends and that was something he shouldn't have done.
"Regina, you cool?" He asked. He pretending not to notice Anthony standing there, which was hard to do since he was barely three feet away. As soon as Anthony saw the look in Brian's eyes he unconsciously took his arm from around Lucia. He didn't realize that he had done that until he felt Lucia's confused blue eyes looking at him. This intense wave of guilt washed over him for only the briefest of seconds before he came to his senses. His dark furrowed eyebrows framed his evergreen eyes. He stepped up to get into Brian' s face. Pushing away the familiar thrill that ran through his body was easy, since he had years to perfect it. It was a sad art, but it was his own creation.
"Why don't you mind your mutha fucking business this ain`t your concern!"
He yelled. He stood almost a foot taller than Brian and out weighed him by nearly fifty pounds. Brian couldn't help flinching with every harsh word that came out of Anthony's mouth. He hated how Anthony had this uncanny ability to bring fear inside of him. Finding the long overdue courage Brian raised his face to glare into Anthony's eyes. For a second they were both rendered
speechless. The closeness of their bodies created a heat that could not be cooled. It was a simple touch of chest to chest that triggered it. The heat became too much for both, as they took half steps backwards away from each other. Regina regarded Anthony as nothing less than a piece of shit. She could stand up for herself. Years of living in the ghetto's had given and edge to her character so she didn't take shit from anyone. She moved past Brian so she was now standing in front of him . So what if he was seven inches taller and could probably knock her out if he wanted to, she took shit from no one and she wasn't about to let some asshole jock get the best of her.
"He don't need to mind his business! Brian don't let this nigga punk you like dat!" Regina yelled. Lucia couldn't just stand around while her boyfriend was getting talked to like that. Sure, if it was another boy telling him off she would have just let him handle it, but this was a girl. He couldn't fight a girl, but she could. She dropped her book bag as if making a statement, but her baby face and cheery disposition wouldn't even intimidate a kitten. Everyone turned to look at her in surprise.
"Now wait a minute. If I want to get back with him, I will. I already have a mother Regina!" Lucia yelled. Regina had to count to ten before she could respond. Her first reaction was to blow up and curse her out, but that wouldn't have been wise. The two of them were on good terms and truthfully Regina realized that it really was NOT her business. If Lucia wanted to make that mistake then it was hers and hers only to make. She backed off.
"You know what, forget it. If you want to go back to him like some dumb chick, go ahead. But, remember next time your kissing him, his lips were kissing Brianna...and dat bitch sucks A LOT of dick!" Regina replied and motioned for Brian to follow. Brian shot Anthony a puzzled gaze before leaving. Something weird had happened when they touched and Brian knew by the questioning stare on Anthony's face that he had felt it too. Anthony was the first to look away and when he looked back up, Brian was already gone.
"So where do you think Riley is hiding?" Tracy asked sitting down. She was having a roast beef sub sandwich with a side order of French fries and washing it all down with a weight gainer. No matter what she seemed to do, the girl was destined to be perpetually thin.
"I have no clue. Me and Regina are going to his house after school. If you think you can hold back from trying to fight him you can come too." Brian replied as he sipped his chocolate milk. Most people hated school milk, but Brian loved the slightly weird taste to it. Tracy smirked at Brian as she nodded her hand and spoke in her best "Mammy the slave girl" voice.
"Oh yesa Massa! I's za promize to be'z a good gerl!" Her act made everyone laugh as they continued to eat their lunches.
Jackson was on his way to sit down at his normal table when Anthony called him over. They may have made up, but Jacky was in no mood to deal with him and the rest of his crew of posers. But, they were all on good terms and he wanted to keep it that way so begrudgingly he went over, tray in hands to see what he wanted.
"Wat up Anthony?" Jacky asked. Anthony didn't have a reason to call him over. He saw the way Brian was watching Jackson walk across the lunch room and he was bothered by it. Of course in his head, Anthony rationalized this as another way to get underneath Brian's skin, but deep down he knew it was his jealousy that got the better of him.
"Yo man! Why don't you sit wit us today?" Anthony asked him. The usual groupies and wannabes sat with him including Carlos and Reggie.
"Naw man, I'm gotta talk to my peeples bout some things. I'll holla at you lada." Jacky responded and was about to head over to were Brian and the rest of his friends were waiting when Anthony stood up. He moved over a seat and smirked at him.
"We just want to talk about some plays for the game next week is all." Anthony replied and Carlos and Reggie put down there sandwiches and looked curiously at him.
"We were?" Reggie asked.
"Yeah, we need to anyway. Jacky are you gonna sit wit us or is your...boy over there waiting for you?" Anthony responded with a knowing grin on his face. His tone may have seemed playful to everyone else, but Jacky picked up a hint of malice. The way Anthony said boy' strike a cord inside of him. Was he talking about Brian? Does he know what happened?' Jacky asked himself as he sat down at Anthony's table. His feelings of fear were temporarily forgotten as they discussed ways to beat East Side High School in the big game next week. If they won that game then they would make it to the state finals.
They heard yelling outside of Riley's apartment. It was more like a violent argument. Curse words and the sound of various items crashing against the walls could be heard under the background of Riley's screams. The neighbors obviously heard, but there was no sign of anyone attempting to help. Most of the inhabitants of Riley's apartment building were either drug users or had other troubles with the laws so bringing attention to themselves by calling the cops was something they weren't willing to do. It was a cold world and why should they care about the chubby white boy with the green hair getting beat up by his father.
Regina, Tracy and Brian stood there unsure if they should go ahead and knock on the door as planned. Regina loved a good piece of drama like the next girl, but the hateful words and actions that was going on inside of Riley's small tenement apartment wasn't entertaining. Brian knew what was going on and knew that Riley would be embarrassed if he found out that they had all heard what his father was saying to him. Especially if he knew Tracy had heard.
Brian led Regina and Tracy away from the apartment and back outside on the street.
"Listen guys don't say anything to Riley about...you know...okay?" Brian asked and Regina nodded her head and for once she wasn't the one to argue.
"Wait, we can't just leave Riley in there. Did you hear all that screaming! Hell fucking no! I'm going in there and let his punk ass fucking father say something to me!" Tracy yelled and tried to get past Brian, but was held back by Regina. She screamed at her to let her go, but Regina kept a firm grip on her arm. Tracy tried in vain to break away, but she was bone thin to Regina's heaviness and there was no contest. Again she tried and tried to pull away until the fight was out of her. Exasperated, she stopped and fell against Regina's arms and cried. She couldn't believe someone could be so hateful to Riley. Sure they may have had there own set of problems, but that was
always done in jest. She thought he was one of the sweetest, nicest guys that she knew. If it wasn't for that green hair she would have thought that he was cute. Regina was surprised by the amount of emotion that Tracy showed and so was Brian. He thought that they hated each other, even if he knew about Riley's crush on her, she didn't. He wanted to make sure that Tracy was going to be okay, but he needed to get back to Riley's to stop what was going on. With Regina's assurance that she had things under control, he went back inside. The yelling had only intensified with the minutes that he had left.
He steeled himself and knocked on the door. It was ignored at first so he knocked harder and harder. It took five minutes before things quieted down and the slamming of a bedroom door could be heard. Brian knocked again. He heard the slow, heavy footsteps of Riley walk up to the door and stop in front of it, making no moves to open it. He didn't want Brian to see the mess his father had made of him. Brian knew what was going on Riley's head and offered him words of comfort.
"Do you want to come out and talk?" He asked him and he heard Riley take a deep breath and unlatch the door. He kept his back to Brian as he opened the closed the door behind him. Riley limped as he walked ahead of him towards the steps that led to the rooftop of his building. Brian followed silently. He knew the best way to deal with Riley when he was upset was to let him talk when he was ready. They sat down on the white gravel stones that lined the roof top. It had rain the day before and compounded with the frigid temperatures the roof was slicked with patches of ice. The weather yet again was cold and snow was hinting at falling, but Riley only wore a red hooded fleece pullover. Brian wanted to offer him his coat, it was baggy so it would have fit, but he knew Riley wouldn't have taken it. He kept his face down so Brian couldn't see it. They sat in silence for close to an hour. The early winter's sky was turning a deep purplish blue color with faint lines of orange tracing the fading sun. They gazed at it in wonder.
"Sometimes I wish I could be the sun." Riley said breaking the silence. His voice was distant and held a sadness filled with desperation for better days.
"Why?" Brian asked as he scooted closer to him. Riley turned his head and gave a sad smile. Brian's first reaction was to look away, but he know that would only make Riley feel even worse than he looked. Riley's gentle, chubby, white face was covered in dark bruises and a deep cut under his eyebrow where there used to be a barbell piercing was still oozing blood. His left eye was swollen shut and day old bruises were on his cheek. Marks of deep reds and yellowish blues lined his face. His father wasn't easy on him this time, but he rarely ever was.
"Because when the day has been long and hard, the sun can just set. It can go away and rise again with hopes for a better day in the morning. I don't have those anymore..." Riley replied as he wiped away unshed tears.
"Things will get brighter for you Rye, they will." Brian said earnestly. Riley chuckled hoarsely as he turned to Brian.
"No, they won't." He replied and they sat in silence for another hour before going back inside. Riley hugged Brian before he left, which startled him at first, but he returned it. Riley was never the affectionate type, but at that moment he needed the comfort that only an embrace could give him. He promised Brian he would be back in school in a few days after he healed a little.
As Brian walked home he was lost in his thoughts of Riley and how he could help him. He was so consumed with his thoughts that he didn't see where he was going and slipped on a patch of ice, crashing into someone. As the person was falling they latched onto Brian and brought him falling down on top of them. It was dark outside so they couldn't see each other, but the scents were familiar. Anthony smelled vanilla and Brian smelled a thick, expensive musk. Strangely, Brian didn't move. He let himself get temporally lost in the puffiness of Anthony's sweat shirt and the feeling of his strong arms around his waist. Anthony made no move to shake him off either. He enjoyed the feeling of Brian's small frame resting trustingly in his arms. For the briefest of moments, he forgot where he was. A surge deep inside of sweat pants could be felt by him and Brian, who's burgeoning fullness was expanding rapidly too and threatening to touch Anthony`s. Their breathing became shallow as the realization of each other's predicament was realized. Brian brought his face up and looked into Anthony's face which was hidden by the darkness of the streets yet he could still make out his features. His slightly pointed, upturned nose. His thick, darkly colored eyebrows that framed his deep green eyes. Eyes the were deeper than any evergreen found on Christmas. Eyes that no matter how many insufferable words or unbearable actions that were done to him, couldn't hide a deep love that he tried to suppress. Anthony knew that Brian was studying him and he knew that he was aware that he was doing the same. Anthony looked into the his face, although unable to make out his eyes he knew what they looked like. Almond slanted midnight black eyes that twinkled when he was excited. That dimmed when he was upset. That cried when he was seven because his cat Butterball had ran away. That shined when he was ten and Anthony had given him a cheap gumball machine plastic beetle. That glowed each time Anthony had an adventure planned for them. Eye's that darkened that day he had let him down and never shined for him again after that day. That was one of Anthony's darkest days, but he had to do it. Things were getting to confusing and he needed the space away from him to think about some things. He never would have thought that the one time he didn't protect him would be the ends of their friendship. The ends of the only source of enjoyment that had filled his young life. His eyes traveled down Brian's face. Past the silhouette of his slender dark brown cheek bones and to his mouth. His mauve lips were thinner than average, but they curled into a nervous grin as he pulled himself off of Anthony.
"My..My Bad." Brian mumbled as he straightened out his clothes. It was his politeness that made him reach out and offer Anthony a hand up. He was surprised when he took it. He had to use all of his strength to pull up the heavy Anthony. He stumbled back and both of them laughed.
"That's cool...ahhh...yeah..." Anthony replied as he looked down at Brian.
He made no attempt to hide the fact that he was adjusting himself. Brian glanced away nervously and did the same.
"Well, ahhh...see you tomorrow." Brian replied.
"Yeah...in English class then..." He replied with a nervous grin and began to jog away. He was in the middle of one of his nightly jogs. Running helped clear his mind. Brian stood and watched as he made Anthony made his way down the street. He found himself imagining the flexing of his calf and back muscles. He had to shake those thoughts out of his head as he continued to clean himself off. Once reaching the end of the block, Anthony turned back and glanced at Brian who quickly turned and began to walk away. He glanced over his shoulder just as Anthony did and their eyes met again before they both quickly turned away nervously. Each had a curious smiles plastered to their faces. It was the first real smile Anthony had in months....
Copyright 2005
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