Hello to all of you! This is my first story and I want to tell you, that English isn't my mother tongue. So the text isn't quite good. I'll try to improve it, of curse if you guys like this story. There are a lot of feelings in this story, but sex is also going to come, so don't worry. ;-)
*************************************************************************** I hate you so much that I love you 1
By Marcos Rojas
"And those, ladies and gentlemen are the major characteristics of suburbanization in South-East Europe. Unless there are any questions we will stop here today." Christian finished his lecture in urban geography. At least he thought so...
"I have a question Mr. Schwalm. Our new visiting professor from the United States, Mr. Rodriguez told us yesterday in his lecture, that suburbs are only typical for developed countries, and the thesis of expending it to South-East Europe is ridiculous." said a very smart-looking girl, with en vogue glasses, always sitting in the front row and of course always thinking to know everything better than the professors.
"My answer to that question is well-known, as I am one of the scientists who have worked on a south-east European suburbanization model. Please consult the bibliography and if you should still have any questions, well shall discuss them in my office or during the next seminar, if the class is also interested in this debate. Any further questions ladies and gentlemen? All right, meet you than next week. Have a pleasant weekend!" With that he took his notebook and left the room.
"What an idiot! How long do you think he will be able to fight back Mr. Rodriguez? I mean he's from the States, and he just knows a lot more then this little assistant professor of ours!" smart girl said to one of her neighbors.
"Maybe, but he's cuter than Rodriguez. And besides not everyone is divinizing American citizens you know. Gotta run, buy Alex." the girl quickly replied and left before Alex could have answered.
Yes, this is my chance! Alex thought gathering her stuff to leave for the library. My type of girls just doesn't loose, especially such "easy-cases" like Schwalm. He IS damn cute and he also is sooo distant, which makes him be even more attractive, if that is even possible. Alex divinized Schwalm and did everything to get into his classes and than just bombed him with questions to get some time alone with him in his office, she knew it too well, that Schwalm wouldn't allow himself to loose too much time of his class just to talk about details. He was way too careful to be equally fair to all of his students, and that killed Alex. She wanted to be in the center of his attention, only she she and again she! "You are eventually going to be mine Christian Robert Schwalm! I swear that to you!" said the girl lost in thought touching the white words on the blackboard, the only thing he left behind and she could touch.
Back in his office Chris slammed the door throwing his notebook on the couch. He was too tired of this girl! He couldn't even remember one class of his where this ugly horrible Alexandra has missed! Even with that big cold of her she came to class, and last winter was a tough one. Sitting on his office-chair Chris looked for a second out of the window. Fall was his favorite season, and the cold breeze touching his face took him for a few seconds back into his fantasy-world he left behind this morning in his home. His home, his only place where he can be himself and enjoy life in its full splendor.
The short sound of his computer brought him back to reality. The sound of a new mail-message. He turned rolling his eyes and clicked on the little blinking envelope. "Great, this is just what I needed! Mr. Smart-American-Ass is going to pay me a visit! I'm sooooo excited I just can't wait till tomorrow!" he thought gathering his papers routinously from his desk, packing and taking his wind coat. It was already 6 pm, time to go home... Walking down the hall he noticed Alex coming out of the library, which made him turn left on the hall and leave the building using the back-door. He didn't want to talk to that girl! Not again! It was way too much for the day. Greeting every passing by student who knew him Chris finally got to the parking place. His car wasn't a big deal. A VW, of course a second hand one, because he didn't have enough money to afford himself a new one. He was glad to have an own place to stay and to have a modest life. Life isn't that easy for many in this part of Europe. He slowly put the key into the ignition, started the engine. The radio started playing one of his absolute favorite songs, the Spanish version of Jennifer Lopez's Waiting for Tonight. This song took him back to his university-years, time he had spent here in these buildings totally alone. Well anyway that was just a year ago, but being a new teacher he had to take many classes to keep and that's how horror-Alex had the chance to get into all of them enjoying 100% of Chris pure. Automatically he switched into rear and pulled out. The loud sound of breaks brought him back to reality. Terrified he looked into the mirror to see what was behind. All he could see was something big and black. Getting out of the car Chris ran towards the other car. The day couldn't end worse, why was this happening exactly now. The other driver already got there and was inspecting every inch of his BMW X5.
"Please excuse me! I'm terribly sorry for having scared you! It wasn't my intention. I don't know where my head was!" Chris would have went on with his apologizing routine but a rather nervous person stood now in front of him giving him a questioning and impatient look.
"What? I don't understand what you're saying! You speak English?" The stranger said looking at me searchingly. Chris couldn't open his mouth but his anatomy wasn't exactly willing to collaborate with him. It was like nervous system-Chris war, and this was the final battle.
"Oh great, one more clever guy who doesn't speak any other language but his mother tongue. What have I done to deserve this?" The guy said touching his forehead with two fingers of his right hand.
"Yes I speak English. I was just apologizing..." Chris finally started but was interrupted by the other guy
"Oh great, so now we can talk! Look, spare me the stupid apologies, just be careful next time. I really don't need someone to destroy my new car. It just arrived last week from the States. It's more then enough for me that I can't drive this baby because you don't have any good roads around here, I don't need any accidents. So next time keep your eyes on that object called mirror! It's very useful you know, it can prevent damages you probably wouldn't be able to replace in two lifetimes out of your south-eastern-European salary! Have a pleasant evening and try to focus on how you drive, you know, because there are other people on the streets too. Maybe your ego will give it a thought. That would definitely be a big progress!" the stranger threw a last disgusted look at him and with that gone was he, slamming his door and speeding away, leaving Chris in the middle of the parking behind his running car. His confusion couldn't be any bigger at that moment.
The rest of the ride was eventless, although Chris couldn't even remember which shortcut he took. The words of the stranger kept echoing in his head. Finally in his apartment he took a bath. He felt so bad, so alone and so useless, and even worse so hurt. "It can prevent damages you probably wouldn't be able to replace in two lifetimes out of your south-eastern-European salary" this kept on playing again and again in his head. He closed his clear green eyes, eyes that nobody could resist. His mother and Chris always used to argue whether he had green or light-brown eyes. He just loved the colour of his eyes. He felt like crying. The picture just kept on torturing him, filling his eyes with tears. Chris didn't even bother to wipe them. Still motionless in the hot water with tears running down his cheeks he suddenly realized that he wasn't able to cry anymore. There were no feelings only tears. Inside of him was a deep silence and resignation. It scared him. He never was a temperamental guy, yet hysterical sometimes, according to his parents and some friends. He just didn't have any latin blood running in his veins. Neither his hungarian nor his german ancestors had been temperamental. But being so empty inside, the thought just scared him. The phone begun to ring, but Chris just couldn't gather enough strength to get out of the water.
It must have been late night he woke up, he was feeling very cold. Opening his eyes the unpleasant feeling very cold water scared him. It took a few minutes to realize where he was. He must have fallen asleep in the tub. Slowly moving the towel all across his body he couldn't feel a thing. Was this his body? Not even his own touch could give him a warm sensation. This was definitely too dangerous. He was depressive and he knew it, but the worse thing was his being that kind of powerless he couldn't do a thing about it. Not caring about his shivering body he slowly entered the bedroom and went to bed.
Angela worked since finishing high school as a secretary at the university. She didn't have an easy life. Her husband an alcoholic, her only son killed by a car two years ago. But yet she found the strength to go on and was even the only person who cared about her colleges. "Somebody has to take care of you boys for the sake of the science" she always says laughing. She was sitting at her desk sorting the mail when there was a discrete knock on the door and a very well dressed young man entered the room. Angela was surprised by so much beauty. This man was just perfect. A probably 25 years old latin, with intense black hair, not too short, with a couple of waves giving him a boyish look, beautiful dark eyes, creole skin. He was wearing an elegant light blue suit with a coral shirt, having some spectacular silver rings and a bracelet. Stunned as she was Angela hasn't even heard him talking, al he could see were his perfect teeth, and some red lips. Before even getting a chance to recover the Adonis handed her a paper crossing his hands in front of his chest and giving her a bored look. Blushing because of her staring Angela quickly read the lines, stood up and gave the young man a sign that she'll be back in a minute. Angela grew up in the communist age, there was no foreign language teaching allowed in socialist countries. So every time she talked to stranger, her hand just got too tired of so much talking.
A knock at the door and Angela was standing instantly in front of Chris' desk.
"Mr. Schwalm, ahm, the new American visiting lecturer has arrived." She said excited looking at the Chris.
"Oh, Angela! Thank you, please show him in!" Chris said casually not even taking his eyes from the screen.
Angela just closed the door without saying a word. "This doesn't look good" she thought as she "body-speakingly" directed the still cross-handed waiting latin wonder into the office.
Hearing the opening door Chris took her eyes from the screen looking above his glasses to see the "new one". He really used to enjoy taking care of the international affairs of his faculty, but there was something bothering him, the last two American lecturers have been too much to take. Now he was waiting for the third to arrive and was not even a bit excited about that.
"You!?!" the latin guy said unpleasantly surprised, recognizing the person he had been yelling at the night before.
Chris felt his left eyebrow rise, a sign his students very well knew, it was the "you're in big trouble" look.
"Nice to meet you too. My name is Christian Robert Schwalm." Chris said offering unwillingly his hand for a shake.
"Look, I don't care who you are! I need to see the responsible person for international affairs!" the latin boy said quickly scanning the room for other desks or doors.
"That would be me Mr. ..." Chris said crossing his feet and hands as a clear sign of rejection.
"Great! This just can't be!" the boy thought feeling his face turning red. Why do people always get to know my bad side first?
"Ahm, well ... then, I guess ... it's you..." please God tell me this isn't true! Now it's high time for some miracles, because all alone I can't make this...
Chris was standing there, still in total rejection waiting for an answer. This man is unbelievable! It's time for me to strike back:
"So, let's just skip the introduction, you probably can't remember your name. Maybe you should get you ID out of your fancy BMW, you know the little card with a picture of you on it. I know it's unbelievable, but your name also stands there." Now this went too far! Chris could notice some reaction on the intruder's face. Because at this moment the latin hunk was an intruder and they were definitely in war! He looked kind of hurt.
"Oh, and don't tell me, you came here to see how it is to live in a poor country, because for you Americans Transylvania means only a poor country an Count Dracula..." Deep silence. The air was too heavy, and Chris wandered if he ever managed to handle situations like this. He normally never went this far, he didn't like making fun of people.
"Excuse me?" the boy managed to say.
"Oh, which word didn't you understand? Is it ID? Picture or maybe BMW? No that one surely, let me guess, probably car! That's it! You can't possibly match the two notions. I mean BMW isn't just a car, is it?"
"You are unbelievable! How can you be this kind of rood???" He said deeply impressed. Cold shivers ran down on Chris' spine. This tone was different. Calm and hurt, almost a little defenseless boy.
"Well welcome to YOUR world! If I can remember correctly YOU are the one whose style this is. Don't blame me for trying to speak you "language" dear Mr..." Chris said coldly. Even he was surpised by the coldness of his voice. It was more than rejection, it was almost hateful.
"Rodriguez. Daniel Luis Rodriguez." He said looking right into Chris' eyes.
"You! How dare you!" Chris felt his blood raising. Everything turned red and he started yelling. "Not even five days pass since you are here, you don't pay your tutor a visit but start criticizing his work all over campus and with each and every person you can! My students, the employees of the library, cafe and even the drivers speak about you questioning my scientific work! And you dare coming here after yelling at me last night? Get your superior American ass out of my office!!!" Chris said opening the door wide.
"But..." the hunk said in shock.
"NOW!!! Or do you want me to call the security? I can do that Mr. American-Dream, and I will do that! Tell you what! I don't care what you think of me or what you want from me! And to fix your superiority complex is the job of your psychologist. You'll have tomorrow another tutor, now disappear and never ever come back to this office, got that?" Chris yelled, running out of his office. Daniel just stood there. He felt like hit by a train. He slowly left the office giving the secretary a weak smile feeling embarrassed again after several years. He needed a walk. He felt week and weird.
Back to his office, Chris asked Angela on his way to his office:
"Is IT still in there?"
"No, HE left..." Angela said stretching the word.
"No, it is an IT, and that's it! No arguing on this Angela, trust me!" Chris said over his shoulder before slamming the door.
He found himself in his office again, pleasantly surprised by the smell of perfume. It wasn't his. But it smelled good. Closing his eyes he could clearly see the boyish face of the latin guy. It was too much, damn! He needed to work! "This just isn't right! How can I be this kind of stupid? Do I need this? Why do I worry? I hate this guy, I ... hate ... him so very much." He collapsed on his chair. This can't be! Having human feelings again... Hating someone... Well this definitely was a progress, but obviously in the wrong way. The hours passed and Chris got angrier and angrier. Daniel's boyish face didn't let him work. Why was he so attracted by this man? He swore to stay single for his entire life. He was only 16 when he discovered his lust and passion for men. Of course he didn't do a think about it, it was a way too conservative world, his grandpa being a minister, and her mom after graduating medical school and working as a dentist, always said to him that fags are sick people, mentally ill, psychiatric cases, as she has studied. He never said a word, he just nodded, aching inside because of not being able to talk to his mother about this. He really loved his mom, they only had each other, after his father passed away when he was 17. All other relatives left country in search of better jobs and life. They stayed. And Chris realized that he never goanna fall in love, because this just can't be. He can't afford it, he can't do this to his mom and to himself. He would carefully download gay stories, videos and enjoying the described happiness of other. He was deeply unhappy, but he managed to work day and night and that way to get away from those dangerous thoughts. He needs to forget about Daniel. He is gorgeous, too beautiful to be true. The temperamental latin dream of his, a god on earth. But he is an American, an arrogant American. And Chris knew even love was too weak to break his pride. He can't let this guy make fun of him in front of his students! The animal in him rose to life, he needed to defend his territory. 10000 years of evolution weren't enough to kill that instinct...
But no self-control could help him. Chris was lost. He was thinking of Daniel, the whole day. Finally the evening arrived. It was the greeting of the new visiting professors and he needed to be there too. He quickly showered and went into his bedroom. Throwing half of his wardrobe on the bed he set disappointed there staring at the closet. Dressing was his life and problem. He loved to shop clothes, but special occasions always made him nervous. He finally picked tight black pants, a green T-shirt matching the color of his eyes and a matching jacket. He looked good. After putting on some cologne he took his new shoes, very on vogue, looked at his hands and changed a ring. He could kill for silver rings. Wearing always two or three of them ladies admired him and he just enjoyed it being more careful in choosing his jewels as women were. Glancing at his watch he ran out of his flat leaving a total mess behind, jumping into the car and driving madly through the city.
"Hello Chris! Glad you made it!" the professor said. "Come take you seat here in front, these people need to be tutored and they need to see you."
"Thank you professor, you are very kind." A casual answer for a casual situation.
Chris barely had a chance to look at the crowd, as the professor stood up and the crowd got still. It was a usual boring speech. Chris just looked at an old painting hanging on wall opposite to him, somewhere way too behind. The big professor looked proud on the painting. "Well, probably married with two children, by now grandchildren too. He has someone to go home to..." Applause brought him back to reality. He didn't miss a thing, the next thing to do was to go to his group and than go through the usual official stuff, giving some information and afterwards going to the theatre. It was a routine for him.
Chris never liked to join large groups of people. He preferred waiting till the enthusiastic lady-colleges took gathered their groups. More and more people left the auditorium. At that point Chris saw someone with a green paper in his hand, nervously playing with it, rotating and moving it in all directions in front of his body as if not knowing what to do with it. Green was his sign. Chris slowly walked towards the guy standing in on corner looking lost. His face wasn't visible, as he had his back turned towards Chris. Scanning the few people left Chris realized that he only had one "client" this evening. This was surely a relief. Now this only client didn't look bad at all. He was dressed in a white suite, and the collar of a red shirt was visible. "Pretty good, the guy has good taste! But why do I have this deja vu feeling?" Right then the guy turned. Chris' jaw dropped and the guy's eyes opened wide.
"YOU AGAIN???" Chris shouted.
"Oh, God! This can't be!" Daniel rolled his eyes. Before Chris could say a word he quickly went on:
"Look, let's try to act like normal people here! You do your job and I will never bother you again. Is that OK with you. It's the fastest way to get rid of me..."
Chris was in shock. He felt his hand taking the guys arm and pulling him into one of the side rooms. Without saying a word he sat down and took the papers lying on the desk. Daniel was still standing giving Chris a frightened look. Chris just indicated him to sit down. He did that like a good kid. His eyes were still focused on Chris. This guy was just beautiful. Accepting his own sexuality wasn't easy for Daniel. He was a latin and red-blooded. He needed to know, and he needed to be shore. And God he had some experience, he just knew he was gay. He just didn't believe in love at all. Sex was equal with love to him. He never had feelings for any of the guys he slept with, at the beginning it was just to clear his sexuality afterwards just to please his sexual needs. He hated himself for that, but he knew he was unable to love someone. He was only a pretty doll, a boy-toy, nothing more. But looking at this guy, silently filling out the forms, sitting there ignoring HIM, the gorgeous one, was way too much. He was fascinated by this guy. He was cute, he exposed his point of view and broke his jock-behavior. This guy was phenomenal. He never was thrown out from anywhere, and never with that anger and passion. Looking at Chris silently writing he checked the guy out. He wasn't as tall as he, maybe 1,80 cm, definitely not an athlete but with an attracting body. Beautiful hands, blond-black hair and rose-color lips, probably very soft, too soft... awww... whops! Chris looked at him. Those green eyes were magnetizing, intelligent and sexy. Very sexy. And his glasses were made him even sexier it that was possible. Looking above his glasses at Daniel, a slight smile escaped Chris' lips. "Oh God, he is gorgeous!"
"All done! Please sign here and then here..." Chris was pointing with an elegant fountain pen.
"God, this guy sure has taste. These silver rings with mexican symbols. And the pen..." Daniel reached for the pen. Their fingers touched and both boys felt strange. It was too good to be true. Chris' fingers felt too soft, Daniel wished he could stop time. "OK God, second chance to do some miracle! Don't blow it! Pleeeease!!!" Daniel thought pausing a bit too long touching Chris' hand. To be able to show Daniel where he should sign, Chris rose from his chair and leaned closer to Daniel. If the view and the touching were Heaven, this must be the Heaven after dying in Heaven. Daniel felt the world spinning as Chris' perfume took over the control of his mind besieging his nostrils. He was lost. He was feeling something totally new, an experience he never had and feelings he never knew they would exist. Signing automatically Daniel was still in the trance as Chris looked right into his eyes. Chris couldn't imagine what was going on with this boy. His face was even cuter as in the afternoon and his eyes were burning. A pure latin fire, a fire that would probably take him over in seconds. There is no escape, he couldn't escape even if he wanted. But he didn't. He felt strangely attracted to this boy. He was hating so much that he needed to kiss him. The most stupid feeling in the world. The stupid novels can't be right! He mustn't feel like this!!! And why on earth this guy!!! He hated him so much that he felt deadly attracted to him. There was no turning back, the inner magnet started pulling him towards Daniel. He looked straight into the boys eyes. He was hypnotized. Their eyes locked. Daniel's eyes were burning, shooting their fire right into Chris' green ocean eyes. The elements met and there was tension pure. What to do now? Who would crack first? Daniel slowly leaned towards Chris and kissed his lips, never loosing eye-contact for a second. This was too much. Daniel felt like exploding. The touch of Chris' lips made him come over the edge. He escaped a low moan and broke the contact with Chris. After the fire the ice came. The stayed there without moving, Daniels body was still shaking because of his orgasm. He couldn't believe it. He was 25, and yet a simple kiss made him cum without toching himself. After the orgasm ended he again looked into Chris' eyes. He panicked. This was too good to be true, and he didn't care about not seeing Chris again, he needed to leave. And that before Chris could say a word to him. But those eyes were locking him. His feet were locked though his mind was screaming "Run!" And so he did, he just ran out of the room leaving Chris standing there, halfway on the desk in the position he kept on since the kiss ended.
To be continued?
Any comments, remarks? Please tell me your opinion! Mails in German and Spanish are also welcome! ;-)
Take care! Marcos tulindobebito@yahoo.es