Well, if you're reading the 5th chapter, I hope that means you've read the first four, and I'd like to thank you for reading. But anyway, if you like reading this, read Another Night at the Club, it's really good. I just thought I'd say that, cause I like it a lot. Also, the finale for Everything I Said SHOULD be up soon, so read that one too, it's great. Well, don't read this if you're under 18 or if homosexual situations offend you. I don't know N Sync, they're probably all straight as arrows, but one can dream, can't he? So enjoy.
I Need Love: Chapter V
Lance and Justin walked over to the window which overlooked the front entrance of the hotel. They watched as first JC, then Chris ran out the entrance to the park across the street. JC settled down on some rocks by a pond, Chris on a bench not far from it. They were apparently oblivious of each other, each in their own little world. Lance and Justin turned to each other.
"So........I guess we should split up and each go get one of them......" Justin said hesitantly. It was obvious that he wanted to talk to JC, to find out what was wrong. He just didn't be the one to say it.
"You should talk to JC. You've known him forever, you guys are closer than the any of the rest of us. Plus, you don't know Chris at all, and I do." Lance said, reading Justin's mind.
"Thanks, Scoop," Justin said with a small smile. "But hey, it might help to know what upset Josh in the first place........"
Lance shook his head. "I can't say. He has to be the one to tell you. Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Hey, I'll stop by Joey's room and have him order room service. It doesn't look like we'll be going anywhere for lunch. Good luck with Chris!" Justin said, jogging out of the room towards Joey's.
"You too!!" Lance called out. Then he headed out on his own trip downstairs. It was gonna be difficult trying to help Chris without telling him about his new knowledge about JC. Just like Justin, it had to come from JC when JC was ready to tell.
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Justin slowly approached JC, who was hunched over in the same spot the boys had watched him sit from the window. A twig snapped under the younger boy's foot and JC twitched a little. "Go away!" he commanded shakily, not looking up from his fixed gaze on the water below.
"Josh?" Justin said. "Josh, it's me......"
JC turned a little to look up. "Justin? Hi......."
"Mind if I have a seat?" Jusin said, standing right next to JC.
"I guess not........I'm probably not the best company right now....." he said with a sniff.
"Josh, come on. You KNOW you're always my favorite person to be around. You don't look so good, boy." He reached up and wiped some tears from JC's face with his shirtsleeve. "Is there anything you wanna talk about?"
"I dunno, Just. It's really hard to talk about......" JC said forlornly.
"We've known each other forever, Josh. You can tell me anything, man. Nothing could change what we have between us. We're brothers!!"
"I know, I know........." JC shook his head, trying to straighten his thoughts.
"Just take your time, I can wait as long as need to until your ready, bro. I'm here for ya." Justin said. He put his arms around the older man's shoulder and pulled him close for his head. JC just sobbed on Justin's shoulder for a few minutes. Turning to face Justin, JC spoke up again.
"Just........promise you won't hate me if I tell you?"
"I could never hate you, Josh. Never. I promise." Justin whispered.
"Justin..........I don't really know any good way to tell you this.............." The two boys made eye contact. "Justin............I'm gay."
Justin smiled and pulled JC into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you felt you could trust me. I'm happy for you. And I'm proud of you, too."
JC pulled back a little. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Justin lightly punched his shoulder. "Oh come on, man. I've been around you practically 24-7 for years now. You don't think I notice the little things about you? It was SO obvious." He laughed.
"Hey!! I'm not THAT bad, am I?" he said with a smile. Suddenly he became serious again. "You don't think anyone else knows, do you?"
"Nah. I think the only reason I noticed at all was cause we're so close. I doubt anyone else has a clue. So why were you so upset earlier?" Justin asked.
"Oh man, I forgot that I'd probably have to tell you that, too. Well, you know Chris?" Justin nodded. "Well, I guess.........I mean, I think........I'm in love with him. And I guess I was talking to myself in the room and I didn't notice Lance come in. He overheard me say I loved him. I freaked out and ran. I was gonna tell you guys eventually, but I never really thought I was ready. I still don't think I'm ready to tell Chris or Joey just yet"
"You do know that you're eventually gonna have to tell Chris, too, right?" the curly-headed youth pointed out.
"Oh man, I know. But I'm gonna run from it for as long as I can. When I'm strong enough, then I can tell him. I don't think I could handle rejection like that yet." JC said sadly.
"How can you be sure he'll reject you? Maybe he loves you, too!! You can't rule out any possibilities yet, Josh. Just give it some time, you'll be ready. And I'll be there to support you the whole way, 100 percent."
The two guys grasped hands tightly. "Thanks, Curly. I knew I could trust you," the older said.
"What are friends for? Now come on, if we don't get back soon, Joey's gonna eat our lunches!!" The two friends got up and walked back to the hotel with their arms around each other like the true brothers they were.
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I sat there, trembling and sobbing, making a spectacle of myself, until I felt large hands on my shoulders. Startled, I turned to find Lance hovering over me. He gave me a small smile and then maneuvered around the back of the bench so he was sitting next to me.
"Hey there buddy," he said. "You OK?"
"No......." I said slowly. "What.......What did I do?"
"What do you mean?" the blonde asked with a confused look.
"Why is he so mad at me? Why does he hate me?" I barely got out, just talking about it choked me up.
"Who told you he hated you? That's not it at all!! I know for a fact that you're very important to him," Lance said.
"Really?" I said, looking up from the ground towards the younger boy. "I guess I just kinda assumed that it was my fault. Then what's wrong with him?"
"It's just a personal problem that JC needs to work out himself. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want anyone else to know right now. He'll be fine. Come on, let's go for a walk." He stood up and grabbed my hand to pull me up, too. We started down the trail that led next to a small pond with a fountain. Quite peaceful, actually.
"So why did you assume that you did something wrong to upset JC?" Lance asked, steadying me with a hand on my shoulder as I stumbled a bit.
"I guess........it's just........whenever Bryan and I argued, I ended up feeling like I was the one who was wrong. It always ended up that way, no matter how right I could have been. I guess I just started assuming everything I did was wrong." I half-whispered to him, my head slightly down. It was a really difficult topic for me to discuss.
"Chris, you're a great guy. I can't even try to understand why you would have such huge self-esteem issues."
"I dunno.........what am I talking about, yes I do, but you probably won't want to hear about it," I said reluctantly. I don't like forcing my problems on other people.
He took his finger and pulled my chin up so I was looking into his wonderfully green eyes. "Listen to me. I DO want to hear about it. You're my friend. You OBVIOUSLY want to talk about it, and I want to make you feel better. I want to listen. I'll ALWAYS want to listen. Anything, anytime, just tell me. Now are you ready to talk about it?"
I nodded, swallowing loudly. That was really nice of him to say. He truly knew how to make me feel comfortable. "All my life, I've never really.......I've never felt like someone loved me. I mean, my family was always there and everything, but I never felt.......I dunno, special, I guess. I can't really explain it. I've never really had a serious relationship, and my friends always seemed kinda distant. It got to a point where I started feeling like I was unloveable." My head fell, heavy with shame.
"I completely understand how you feel, Chris. But I don't agree with it at all. You're not unloveable. I'm absolutely positive about that. There's someone out there for everyone. It's only a matter of time before you find the one for you. I promise you'll find the one, alright? I promise." He said, putting his arm around my shoulder and gently rubbing it.
I turned to him and gave him a weak smile. "I guess you're right. Thanks a lot, Lance. It really means a lot to me that you came to talk to me."
"You think I'm gonna lose my first personal assistant that quickly?!?! You haven't even done anything for me yet!" he laughed. I just giggled a little. "Hey, let's head on back to the hotel, alright? We've got to get ready for the show tonight."
"Do you think JC's back yet? I wanna talk to him," I said.
Lance turned away from looking at the pond that he had been looking at. "I don't think he's back quite yet, but I'm sure he'll be there soon. Come on, Joey ordered room service for us. Let's go get some food."
He kind of guided me back in the direction of the hotel. I sneaked a small look back at the pond. I saw two figures sitting on some rocks hanging over the water, one bent over and slightly trembling. The other one had a messy mop of curls and was apparently trying to console the upset one.
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Lance and I entered the room and found it still empty. We took seats on each of the beds and Lance turned on SportsCenter. We watched in silence for several minutes until the lock turned on the door. Justin walked in followed by a red-eyed JC. It broke my heart to see him like that. Justin continued on into the room but JC stopped in the door-way.
"Lance, can I talk to you outside for a moment?" he said.
Lance slowly stood up and followed JC out the door, shutting it behind him. That left me and Justin alone in the room. Me and the guy I screamed at and who slapped me less than an hour ago. Talk about awkward.
"So.............yeah............." Justin said, trying to break the ice.
"Justin............I think we kinda started off on the wrong foot.........Sorry about the whole scene I made earlier.........." I said nervously.
"Hey man, no problem. You were just worried about JC, I understand. I was, too. It was just a tense situation all around. Let's start all over." He held out his hand to me. "Justin Timberlake, pop star," he said with a smile.
I took his hand, saying "Chris Johnson, uhm..........personal assistant to the stars, I guess. Hey, is JC gonna be alright?"
Justin thought for a moment. "Yeah, he'll be fine. He just needs some time to himself to think some things out. So he might be a little distant for a while until he gets his life figured out. It's nothing against you, I promise."
"So I don't suppose you're gonna tell me why he was so upset..........." I said sadly.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do that. When he's ready, I'm sure he'll tell you. Just give him some time alone, everything will be fine in a little while."
I mumbled to myself, "But I don't want to be away from him............"
Just as Justin said, "I'm sorry, what'd you say?", the door opened and in walked Lance and JC, followed by Joey and Chris with two covered carts. Saved by the boys.
"We got the grub, outta the way!!" Joey said, pushing JC and Lance aside with his cart. He and Chris pulled the covers off them and displayed 6 plates with burgers and french fries.
Lance sat down next to me and JC took a chair that seemed to be as far from me as possible. Man, I KNEW it was me. Chris walked over to me and offered me a plate and his hand.
"Hey Chris, nice to meet you. I must say, you're parents have excellent taste in names."
I just smiled at him. No sense in pointing out how lame his joke was. "Nice to meet you too."
Joey noticed this exchange and, mouth full of burger, called out, "Oh yeah, hey Chris, what's up?" It was barely decipherable through his dinner. That DID make me laugh.
"Not much......." I chuckled, grabbing a plate off of the cart and setting it in my lap. I looked over to JC to find that he was looking my way, too, but he quickly turned away when he realized I saw him. Damn, can't I do ANYTHING right?
Justin turned to me with a gleam in his eye. "Hey Chris, after the concert you wanna go clubbing with us?" Just the excitement in his voice told that that was one of his favorite activities. I didn't blame him, I love the club scene myself.
"I dunno if I should, you know, with my condition and all........" I said half-heartedly.
"Come on!!!" Justin said in a whiny, teenager voice. "You'll be fine. It'll be fun!!"
"I guess I'd go, if Mommy and Daddy say it's alright........." I said, turning my gaze to Lance and JC with a smile. JC just kinda waved me off with his hand, but Lance threw a french fry at my face.
Justin just furthered the antagonization. Getting down on his knees and holding his hands together in front of him, he began begging to the other two. "PUH-LEEZE, Mr. and Mrs. Chasez, can Chris come out to play?!?! I PROMISE we'll be good, we won't cause any trouble!!!"
JC again took little note of the situation, but Lance gave Justin a smack on the back of the head. "How come you had to make me the mom?"
"Sorry Scoop, all's fair in love and war, and this is WAR!" Justin shouted, pulling Lance into a headlock. I hit the floor once I figured out what was going on. There was NO way I was getting pulled into that mess. From my position I could see Justin and Lance tussling on the floor, Joey and Chris cheering them on, and occasionally I could see JC watching without emotion. Man, something was REALLY wrong with that boy, but if he didn't want me around, then I was just gonna keep away. No sense in making him even more mad at me. I watched as he got up and moved slowly towards the door. When he reached it, he turned around.
"Come on guys, it's time to go to the arena." With that, he opened the door and walked out.
"What's up with him?" Chris asked.
Everyone else shrugged as they headed out the door. I remained behind, sitting on the bed shaking my head sadly. Lance turned around and came back, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry about it, he'll be over it soon. Don't let him get to you," he whispered into my ear. Easy for him to say.
Well, another chapter done, another chapter for me to start. It seems like it takes a little longer on each chapter I do, but I hope you enjoy them. Anyway, drop me an e-mail. Tell me you love it. Tell me you hate it. Tell me you feel indifferent towards it. Tell me ANYTHING!!! Chris13731@aol.com Thanks for reading!!!