Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now.
This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. ___________________________________________________________________________
Ivan took a deep breath. He had retreated to the bathroom to compose himself from the turmoil of seeing Michael and Alex's public and obvious affection for one another. But now he was ready to return with a new sense of resolve. The only way for this to work was to ignore Michael and simply banish all his feelings towards him. He knew that if he could do this, his emotions would fizzle out. It was a long shot but it was more dignified than begging for Michael to love him back. Ivan was firm in his decision and wanted his insanity to stop. He marched out of the men's room with confidence. However, by the time he had gotten back to their table, Jake had arrived and there now was only one seat available. The one right next to Michael. And just like that, Ivan plunged right back into a wrestling match with his feelings as he was forced to sit in the chair between Alex and Michael which Alex had saved for him.
Alex was already discussing the plan she had come up with the night before but Ivan couldn't concentrate. Just the mere presence of Michael by his side was distracting him. The warmth of Michael's body and a casual touching together of bare arms was enough was enough to send a jolt of electricity all throughout Ivan's battered soul. All his senses zoned out while his tactile sensation response went on overload. He was heating up.
"Are you okay, Ivan?" Alex asked.
Breaking out of his Michael-induced trance, he replied, "Yeah. I'm okay. You were saying?"
"Are you sure? You look a little red." Alex's hand went to Ivan's forehead, checking his temperature.
Jesse suppressed a smile, knowing that Ivan didn't have any fever but was actually blushing. Ivan caught his eye and made a face that pleaded for help.
"Looks like somebody had a little too much to drink last night. Don't worry. He's probably just a little dehydrated." Jesse said.
"Yeah. Few cold glasses of water will take care of me." Ivan said to convince Alex.
"Or a cold shower." Jesse quipped but Ivan's glare quickly caused him to amend his statement, "You know, to help cool down his body just in case it is a little warm."
Alex gave them a weird look but just shrugged the whole thing off. "Anyway, as I was saying. I already sent a mass text to my squad telling them to simply mix the story up and make sure no one tells the real story to anybody else."
Everybody else at the table was silent as they thought it through. Jake was the first to speak, "How can you be sure they will follow your orders?"
Alex's wicked smile formed slowly, giving Ivan chills. "Easy. I am the captain of the squad after all. And if that isn't quite enough, they all know I have at least one dirt on each and all of them. They wouldn't dare risk opening that Pandora's box."
"So you'll blackmail all the cheerleaders in our school. What makes you think that will work?" Max asked.
Alex was about to explain but Jesse cut her off. "It's the code of honor and silence. First they honor Alex's request so she'll keep silent about their secrets and then they will threaten other girls with the same blackmailing tactic. And before we all know it, all the girls have their mouth shuts to protect their own secrets."
"But that's crazy." Max commented.
"Crazy brilliant and ballsy. I didn't know Alex had it in her." Jesse looked at her with admiration.
"Okay. Now that we know how mean girls operate." Jake looked at Jesse pointedly when he said mean girls. "How do we deal with the guys."
"Nah. Most guys don't gossip." Alex said, waving her hand dismissively at Jake.
"Are you kidding? You wouldn't believe what boys say in the locker room." Jake argued.
"And there may be some guys on the team that actually liked Andy." Michael added.
"Do they like him enough to tell him?" Ivan finally found his voice.
"Who knows? Sometimes people can just surprise you about how they actually feel towards you." Michael replied, not even looking at Ivan.
Jesse smiled at Max, obviously relating Michael's statement with their situation. However, Ivan's jaw almost dropped. Was that suppose to be a jab against him? Or was he being paranoid? Maybe it was a general statement and that's why Michael didn't look at him.
"What will your squad actually say?" Ivan asked Alex to steer the conversation away from Michael's statement.
"Some of them will keep others silent while some of them will create other
versions of the story. In no time, people will be confused as to which story is really true. And the guys could easily think that they were maybe too drunk to know what have actually happened."
"But there are others at the party who have actually seen the video." Max pointed out.
"Yes but most of the people who were at the party are in the know. And they are exactly the type of people my squad can easily get to. And we all know how it works. Once the gossip comes from the A-list, that's when it will be immortalized."
Jesse scoffed. "For a couple of days or weeks until another rumor starts."
"Right. So please don't do anything rumor worthy or everyone will think I'm being partial." Alex's smile was back to her sweet one.
After they had finished their food and gotten up from the table, Alex announced that she and Michael would be going to the theater to see a movie, and asked if the rest of the group wanted to join them.
Ivan quickly made an excuse to politely decline. "Sorry. Jesse and I already agreed to lay low for the rest of the weekend and just hangout." He looked at Jesse, willing him to play along.
Luckily, Jesse had caught on. "Yeah. We're going to watch TV reruns."
Alex just shrugged. "Okay. Jake and Max?"
"Can't. I'm doing errands for dad today." Jake answered.
"Same here. My mom needs me for some chores." Max said.
"Looks like it's just us babe." Michael said as his arm found its way around Alex's waist.
In spite of his resolve, the term of endearment stabbed Ivan's chest. He ached for Michael to call him that. He wished to be the one who Michael holds hands with and whisper sweet nothings to. He wanted all of it. He wanted Michael.
"We should go." Ivan said and feigned a smile . "See you guys on Monday." He walked quickly away from the table and passed by the counter to say goodbye to Jean. Jesse was right behind him.
"You okay?" Jesse asked once they were outside.
Ivan thought, no. I want to go back there and demand for Michael to take me to the movie instead. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
Later that afternoon, Jesse and Ivan were already at their seventh episode of a soap opera that Jesse had chosen and Ivan was still not feeling any better. He had himself pressed against the far end of the couch which engulfed him in a soft hug. Jesse was saying something about the character on the TV but Ivan's mind was elsewhere. He wished for the couch to be Michael or for Michael to be on the couch with him, the two of them snuggling close. "I am definitely not okay." Ivan admitted.
"You think?" Jesse shut off the TV and turned to Ivan.
Ivan moved a little closer to Jesse's spot on the couch. "I'm going crazy. Ever since I told Michael I have feelings for him, he is all I can think about."
"That's not crazy. You're in love, crazy in love like Beyonce." Jesse snickered at his own joke. Ivan rolled his eyes because he was trying to be serious but he laughed a little anyway.
"That's just the thing. I do love him but ever since my confession we haven't had a real conversation. I want to talk to him about it but he's just making it too hard. I'm starting to miss him."
"He's probably still processing." Jesse commented.
"Maybe. But what if this is it, you know. What if this is how we'll be like for the rest of our lives. I want him so much but..." Ivan trailed off as he thought of his life without Michael in it. He couldn't picture it. Growing old with Michael had always been a given. But considering how things were at the moment, Ivan's vision of the future with Michael had started to fade. Michael wouldn't be standing by him as his life long partner. Now, not even as his best friend.
"Just give him time. He'll come around. You've been friends for too long. Teenage hormone-driven feelings won't drive you apart."
Ivan was uncertain. After all, Andy had been enough to tear them apart. "I shouldn't have kissed him and told him that I loved him. What was I thinking?"
Jesse squeezed Ivan's shoulder. "You were following your heart."
"I just wish I could take it back, you know? I'm starting to miss the way we were. But we can't go back. Now every time we're around each other, it's always awkward and weird. I don't know what to do, Jesse."
"You may not be able to take it back but... I have a thought." Jesse started, although he sounded unsure. "Maybe Michael will ease up a bit if he knows you're not in love with him anymore. And what better way to show that than by going out with someone else?"
Ivan was silent as he considered Jesse's idea.
"It's just a suggestion, Ivan. If you're really concerned about your friendship then I think that would help a little bit with the awkwardness." Ivan just nodded, still thinking it through. Jesse bit his lower lip as his forehead furrowed in concern. "Look, Ivan, I'm really sorry. I really wasn't expecting that it would end up this way. I thought Michael had feelings for you too. Otherwise, I wouldn't have teased you that much about it."
A small genuine smile formed on Ivan's face. "It's not your fault, Jesse.
I've been bottling up these feelings for as long as I can remember. That homecoming night was just all too much and I guess I couldn't bear it anymore."
"I'm really sorry. If only I had been there." Jesse said.
Ivan assured him that it was okay and that again, it was not his fault. He asked Jesse about Max to change the conversation.
Jesse immediately grinned as he was reminded of Max. "I don't know. Now, him. He is the crazy unexpected." Jesse shook his head. "I didn't think it was possible. When I rolled over to sneak in a kiss, I was ready to pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't realize I was making a move on him. But then I felt his lips kissing back so I just went for it. And boy did we--"
Jesse's story was cut short by the doorbell ringing. Ivan held a finger up as he stood up to get the door. "Don't hold that thought. I don't want to know the gory details. I may look at Max differently after all the corrupted things
you might have done to him." Ivan joked while he walked to the door.
Jesse laughed and shouted after Ivan. "How dare you! It was all PG-13!" He turned the TV back on and flipped through the channels. He was watching a music video when Ivan came back with paper bags giving off smells that filled the room. "That smells good! Where did you order them and when did you have the chance to? You were sitting beside me the whole time, you stealthy ninja."
Ivan put down the bags on the coffee table and stared at them. "That's the thing. I did not order these but the man who delivered it said that it was for me. He even recited my name and address."
Jesse came closer to examine the bags. "This is from that fancy Italian restaurant downtown. That's weird." He started taking out the contents of the bags, small to-go boxes and two cups with tiramisu. "Maybe there's a note stuck in here or something."
Ivan suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out and saw that he had just received a message. "Hope you and Jesse enjoy your afternoon. I hope you like Italian." Ivan read out loud. "It's from Jake."
Jesse's eyebrows shot up. "Wow. Someone's stepping up his game."
"What do you mean?" Ivan asked innocently.
"C'mon. The guy clearly likes you." Jesse answered. He picked up a to-go box, sniffed it and smiled. "This smells really good."
"Jake likes everybody. He's just doing this because he's either still guilty about ditching me at the dance or he's getting desperate because I'm one conquest he can't win."
Jesse rolled his eyes. "You're being such a girl, you know that?"
"Whatever. I'm gonna get us some plates and utensils." Ivan left for the kitchen but Jesse followed him.
"Why can't you just accept it? The guy likes you."
Ivan took out two plates from the cupboard and handed them to Jesse. "I did accept it. And then he made a fool out of me. I'm not making the same mistake again." Ivan picked up some utensils and walked back to the living room.
Jesse was right behind him. "God, you really are a girl." Ivan glared at him. "What? You're acting like one right now. This is his way of asking for another chance. At least give him that."
Ivan was starting to get irritated by how Jesse is pushing for Jake. Jesse knew how Jake had treated him. "I don't owe Jake anything."
Jesse's face softened. "No. But you owe it to yourself. Maybe he's the guy for you."
Michael is the guy for me, Ivan thought.
"If not, he can be the guy you can show off to Michael. Who knows where it may lead? But you'll never know unless you give him a shot."
Ivan had to admit Jesse had a point. However, the thought of going for somebody else felt strange to him. Like somehow, he would be cheating on Michael. But he and Michael weren't in a relationship. Michael was with Alex whereas Ivan only had his own feelings and wishful thinking. Ivan sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. I'm too hungry to think. You're right. This all really smells good."
The two boys excitedly opened the boxes which revealed baked ravioli and calzones. Ivan put the two cups of tiramisu in the fridge so they'd stay chilled and when he got back to Jesse, they started eating as they resumed watching TV.
"But seriously Jesse, aren't you at least worried about Monday?" Ivan asked in between servings.
Jesse took his time chewing his food as he contemplated his answer. The truth was he really was nervous about what might happen. He had not planned on revealing his sexuality to the student body. He wanted to go through high school quietly, graduate and start living his life as he wanted in a different place where people would be more accepting or at least wouldn't stick their nose into someone else's business. Yes, he was worried about Monday. "It's gonna be okay." He said once to reassure Ivan and again to calm himself.
That following Monday morning, Ivan was preparing for school when he heard a car honking outside the house. He looked outside his bedroom window and saw Jesse's car.
Ivan headed outside and walked towards Jesse who was leaning against his car. "Hey. I didn't realize we're going to school together today."
"Why not?" Jesse asked.
Ivan shrugged. "I just thought you'd start going with Max."
"Oooh. Someone's jealous." Jesse chuckled. Ivan just gave him a face. "No. We're not dating or anything. I don't wanna freak him out by randomly showing up on his doorstep, offering to take him to school." Jesse got into the car and Ivan followed. "And besides, I need you. You're my human shield."
Ivan rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'm so honored."
As they drove closer to the school, Jesse's heart started to pick up its pace. He had spent the entire night tossing and turning, imagining the things that could possibly happen and how he'd deal with them. Thinking it through gave him enough peace to sleep through the night. But now his nerves were back with a vengeance.
With Jesse lost in his thoughts, Ivan couldn't help but notice how silent he'd become. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Jesse responded quickly. "Of course. I can handle this."
"Okay." Ivan said and tapped on Jesse's knee.
Jesse had just parked the car and was still inside with Ivan when two girls passed by, looked at them, and whispered to each other.
Jesse swallowed. "They know."
Ivan sharply inhaled. "Oh my god."
"Do you think they know?" Jesse asked, starting to panic.
"I don't know. I think so." Ivan said, evidently worried.
"God. You are bad at this." Jesse scratched his head. "You're supposed to reassure me. Not add fuel to my paranoia!"
"I can't help it! I'm nervous for you." Ivan admitted.
A knocking on the window on Jesse side of the car made the boys jump in their seats. Both turned to see that it was only Max.
"Okay. I talked to a few people and it seems like Alex's plan worked." Max told the two after they had gotten out of the vehicle.
Ivan was a little surprised. It had been a decent plan but he wasn't expecting for it to work.
Jesse let out a laugh of relief and started walking towards the building, the two along beside him. "You gotta love the power of social blackmail."
But Max wasn't finished. "Now, every one's a little bit confused about who really was on the tape."
"But?" Ivan asked. He could practically hear it from Max's tone.
"But... Everyone is certain that it was Jesse in the video along with another boy." Max said, looking at Jesse with concern.
Out of nowhere, Jesse felt a hand slap the back of his head. "Fag! You're it!" It was Rick Summers along with another boy from the football team. They laughed at the surprised faces of Jesse, Ivan and Max.
"Assholes." Ivan muttered.
"You okay?" Max stepped closer to Jesse.
Jesse bit his lower lip as he exhaled through his nose. "Is that all you got!?" He called at Rick.
Rick and his sidekick looked at each other and laughed harder. "Are you trying to pick a fight?" The two started towards them.
Ivan looked at Jesse who just stood his ground. He looked at Max but the boy seemed to be in his fighting stance too. Ivan had a bad feeling about what was about to happen so he tried to talk some sense into Jesse. "C'mon Jesse. They're not worth it. You're only gonna get yourself in trouble."
"I don't care." Jesse replied to Ivan. And as if to prove his point, he said out loud for everyone to hear, "What? Afraid for someone who likes ass might kick your little ass?" He grinned as he saw his opponent's face heating up.
Ivan was now at Jesse's face. "You may get suspended for this."
"So?" Jesse asked defiantly.
"You listen to your little girlfriend there. You can't take both of us. You probably punch like a little girl." Rick teased, to which his sidekick chuckled automatically.
Ivan groaned. "Jesse, you're above this."
"No Ivan. They're above us! At least that's what they will think if I walk away. They think we're somehow less than they are just because we're gay."
Jesse said, frustration and determination in his voice.
"I'm with Jesse here, Ivan." Max said, showing he really was ready to fight alongside Jesse.
"That's what I thought! All talk! Bunch of pansies." Rick said.
Jesse smirked. "You're one to talk but you're just standing there. You act all big and tough, tough guy? But we all know your tiny little secret." Jesse lifted his pinkie finger and waved it at Rick.
Rick took off his backpack. "You're gonna regret that you little fag!" He growled as he charged towards Jesse.
So here it is, the latest chapter. I'm so happy I was able to work on this much faster than the last one. I'm really trying to meet your expectations on my pace when it came to posting new chapters. I'm getting there though, I hope. LOL. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. And again, feel free to tell me what you guys think about this one :)
Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for patiently editing my work. For those who aren't still members of the facebook readers' page, we have lots of room for you guys. If you want to join, here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/
Thanks! Keep on reading :)