Chapter 8
From Jess' viewpoint
I hadn't felt right since Billy walked out of my room yesterday. He'd jerked me off great! Cumming in his hands felt really good, even if wasn't the way I was used to getting off. I kind of missed not shooting into my mouth. But something else wasn't right and I couldn't stop trying to sort it out in my mind.
After more than 24 hours working at it, I'd pretty much decided that I could be feeling kind of weird because of how my folks had raised me. I mean, they'd been telling me since I was old enough to know I had a dick not to touch it. Of course, I hadn't listened to them.
As I got older, I heard all the fire and brimstone stuff at our church. You know, about what happens to the wicked people who don't wait until they're married to have sex. And worse yet, the perverts who have sex with people of their own sex. They were going straight to hell to burn forever. My parents firmly believed that and repeated it more often than I cared to remember.
So it could well be that Billy giving me a handjob, great as it felt at the time, could be causing the uneasiness I felt inside. I didn't really believe I was going to hell, but then, I guess, I really wasn't so sure that being gay and doing gay stuff wasn't playing with eternal damnation. The thought made me shiver.
But, it could be that I was feeling bad that I had drawn Billy into this. I mean, all those times we jerked off together as kids, he never once touched me.. And now, I tell him I'm gay and that I love him and, before you know it, he's in my room willing to stroke my cock till it spews. What a great friend! But am I dragging him where he really doesn't want to go? Is that why he gave me that funny look as he left yesterday? Things just don't feel right.
Or maybe it was simply that I didn't know crap about being gay and I was way off base about everything. But all my fretting wasn't getting me anywhere.
I'd tried to call Billy after church that morning, but his mom said he was out. I tried again later and no one answered. So I swung by his house. His mom had just gotten back home from the grocery and told me she didn't know if Billy was home or not. She thought he might be with Kate, but told me to go check in his room.
I hadn't been in Billy's room in a couple of years. For whatever reason, we always hung out in mine. As I entered, even in the dim light, I could see it was pretty much a mess, clothes everywhere, bed unmade, books and papers strewn around his computer.. And there was a distinctive smell. It was like . . . what? As I pondered the smell, I sat on his bed. And then I saw the stains. Cum stains? Had to be.. But so gross. Sheets hardened with dried cum. Stained with dried cum. Giving off Billy's scent, like this was his lair or something. I remembered it now. Sort of fruit like. Very different than mine.
I headed home, still worrying about Billy and me. And now I started to worry about where he could be. I didn't want to call Kate, that was for sure.
After trying to study for an hour or so, I decided to call Justin. Maybe he could help. So far he'd proven to be a great help when I needed to sort things out.
He said he wasn't doing anything and that I should come on over if I wanted.
When I got there, Justin's mom let me in and told me to go on up to his room. He was sitting at his computer wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs. Very sheer! Very silky! Very, very sexy!!
I was pretty sure he'd been looking at porn when I came in, but switched to his screensaver when he heard me coming in.
We chatted briefly about nothing and then our talk came to an awkward pause.
"I'm worried about Billy," I said, looking straight into Justin's eyes, holding his gaze. And then I added, "About Billy and me."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I had to be careful what I said, because I didn't want anyone to know what had happened between Billy and me Saturday morning. That was personal. Our secret. No one else's business. It was part of what bonded Billy and me together as best friends.
So without mentioning getting jacked off by Billy, I explained to Justin all my concerns and my confusion. Was I feeling guilty because of the way I was raised and what I had been taught in church? Or was I feeling guilty about dragging Billy into all this gay stuff that he really didn't like. Would that ultimately drive us apart? What should I expect from my best friend? Certainly not love, not the way I felt it for him. So what then? Friendship? The friendship of a best friend?
I didn't tell Justin about the way Billy had looked at me so oddly when he left. If I had, I would have had to tell him about the jerk-off stuff.
Then, wham, Justin asked, "So has anything . . . anything sexual, I mean, happened between you guys since you told him."
I was too stunned to answer..
"I thought so," Justin said. "Was it good . . . for you?"
I still couldn't bring myself to speak. I just sat there staring at Justin completely dumbstruck, realizing for the first time that he was playing with his hardening dick through his briefs. Briefs so sheer I could see his swelling cock clearly. This was not helping me form coherent words to answer.. Finally I stammered, "How did you know?"
"I am gay, after all, and gay guys know this stuff," he said, as though that explained everything. "And you're gay, too. And gay guys like to do . . . well, . . . sex. We all like sex. But then, what's not to like? So what did you guys do?"
The tip of his dick was sticking out from the elastic waistband of his briefs. He was so hard, his cockhead wasn't even touching his abs. It was just stretching his wasteband. And he was running his index finger around the tip of his cockhead, smearing his oozing pre-cum into it. I could see his firm and nice-sized balls wrapped in the see-through fabric of his briefs. What a display! I just stared for a moment. Fascinated.
Then I took a deep breath, pulled my eyes away from his huge cock and said, "I guess he sort of beat me off a little bit."
"Sort of? Just a little bit? Did you cum? Did it feel good? Did you like it?"
"Oh, yeah," I said before I could stop myself. I'd shown more enthusiasm than I'd intended, even more than I felt just now. I started to speak again, with more control. "Yeah, it did feel pretty good, I guess. I mean I woke up with a woody and he was jacking me off."
"And you came?" he asked, dipping his index finger in a drop of pre-cum poised at the tip of his rock hard cock. He put the clear ooze on the tip of his tongue. He drew his tongue into his mouth and pursed his lips, savoring the taste. I could see his tongue pressing the pre-cum against the back of his teeth, moving it around in his mouth to taste it that much better. This guy likes his cum as much as I like mine, I thought.
"Yeah. I came," I finally answered.
Justin slipped out of his underwear as though that were the most normal thing in the world to do.
"What are you doing? Why are you taking your briefs off?" I was a little scared of what he might have in mind.
"I don't want to mess them up," he said matter-of-factly.
He wanted to know all the details, but I told him I couldn't. It was a private matter and, while I needed his help, there was just so much I was willing to say.
"So why do you think Billy jacked you off after all these years?"
"I guess to show that he's OK with me being gay. But I don't think he is. I think that maybe what's really bothering me . . . and him."
"What? You think the problem is that you want to have sex with him and he doesn't want to have sex with you? Welcome to the real gay world. But I don't really think that's the problem. I think it's that your relationship is starting out to be all one sided. You want him to accept that you're gay. You want him to show you some kind of love. And you . . ."
"Affection," I interrupted. "I want his affection. I know I can't expect his love.."
"But you liked the sex. You liked getting jerked off by your No. 1 man. Right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, have you tried to think about what Billy might want? What he might like?"
"Like what?" I asked.
"Maybe a blowjob. I don't know any guy who wouldn't like a blowjob. Do you?"
"Well, no, I don't guess so. But he's not going to let me give him a blowjob. He's straight."
"So? Lots of straight guy like to get blowjobs from their gay friends. Nobody knows how to give a blowjob better than a gay man. For straight guys it isn't about being gay or straight. It's about getting your rocks off. And feeling great doing it."
I didn't speak.
"So why don't you give Billy a blowjob to show him that this isn't all about what you want." The way Justin said it, this wasn't a question. It was more like an order.
"I never gave anybody a blowjob. Hell, I never even got a blowjob," I said, realizing I had been sitting there for minutes watching Justin run a single finger slowly and gently up and down the underside of his rock hard nine inches. Clear drops of pre-cum were slowly making their way down his mammoth cock and vanishing into his neatly trimmed curly pubes. It was fascinating.
"Not even from Ellie?"
"No. She's not like that."
"Well, then, it's time you learned." And with that, Justin sat up straight and gave his dick a couple of strokes, twisting his hand around as he moved it up and down his manpole.
I said nothing.
"Ready then?"
"For what?" I asked, having lost track of the conversation.
"To learn how to give a blowjob?"
"Now?" I asked, realizing we were talking in questions.
"Yes. Now!"
"I guess. So tell me what I have to do."
"No, no," he said. "Better than that. I'll show you. The best part of my teaching technique is that you not only learn how to give great head – trust me, I can show you how to give great head – but you'll get what every boy wishes for, a blowjob of your very own."
This was going kind of fast, but I seemed unable to put on the breaks with Justin's enthusiasm steadily building. He was already unfastening my pants and stripping me down. Soon, I was standing naked in front of him. Justin's cock was as hard as ever, I noticed, as he knelt before me. He scratched the underside of his balls playfully as he stared at my dick. Then he looked up at me and said, "Just like a porn story."
"What?" I said, thinking I must have misunderstood.
"I feel like I'm one of those guys named Justin – they're' always named Justin – in one of those gay stories online."
I looked blank.
"You don't have a clue what I'm talking about, do you?" Justin asked, with a touch of apology in his voice. "I better start paying as much attention to your brain's education as to your dick's. That way you'll be able to think with both." He laughed.
I laughed, too, but I didn't really get it.
He told me about Nifty and JustUsBoys. And about gay stories posted there.. And about guys, lots of them, just discovering they were gay. He said I ought to read "Ryan And Me, And Ethan" by starlight70 at JUB. "It's really hot, with great sex parts. You feel like you're right there cumming with them. It's about two jocks who think they're straight who start fucking around with a gay guy named Ethan. Now don't get your hopes up, because even though the story isn't finished yet, it's pretty clear that the two jocks are both gay and maybe they'll end up together."
"Really," I said.
"Yeah, really. But you're not living in a JUB fuck story, I'm afraid. Because if you were, then we'd all have 10-inch cocks, fuck all day and all night, and I'd have rich parents, live in a mansion and probably have my own pool boy to fuck on the side. But read it. I think you'll see that you're not the first person to suddenly realize he was gay and had to figure out what to do. Fortunately, you've got me."
And with that Justin stuck out his long tongue and licked my cock. I jumped back.
"Bad start," Justin said. "I should stop messing around and get serious. You need help."
As I had so often this evening, I said nothing, but I was feeling a little weak in the knees. "Can I sit down?" I finally said and I sat on the bare mattress on his bed.
"Sure. Make yourself comfortable. Now imagine you're Billy and I'm you. If you have any questions about what I'm doing or why, ask. If my mouth isn't full, I'll try my best to answer. OK? Ready?"
"OK."
Justin cupped my cock and balls in both his hands and then leaned forward and started licking. First my cock and then my balls. Then back to my cock. He was right. He was good at this. I thought Billy's handjob was nice. This was better.
I didn't need to tell Justin I liked it. My cock was already telling him as it stretched out in his hands. Wet with his spittle, he was now gently stroking my cock, licking it, stroking it. God it was getting hard really fast. Standing straight up, presenting its sensitive underside to his tongue, giving him a rock hard column to stroke and lick.
And then he said, "Ready?" I didn't know what he meant, but before I could inquire as directed, he had begun to suck on my cockhead, slurping it in and out between his lips. I looked down and he was looking up, my cockhead in his smiling lips. His fist wrapped gently around my shaft. His saliva dripping down around my nuts. I was fascinated by the view. I loved the sensation.
He stopped and lifted his head enough so my cock was standing free just in front of his warm, welcoming lips. "Remember what I'm doing. Go slow. Watch your teeth that you don't scratch him. Dicks don't like teeth."
I could feel his breath on my cock as he talked and couldn't resist leaning forward to get my cock closer to his lips. So this is what blowjobs were like?
And then he started again. I gasped.
"Are you going to cum?"
"No," I said. "Not yet."
"Let me know if you're gonna cum. That's important."
And he went back to caressing my cockhead with his lips, stroking my cock with one hand and now pinching one of my nipples with the other.
I pulled away suddenly, almost in a panic. "I don't think Billy's gonna go for this. Maybe a blowjob, but not the stuff with the nips."
"OK," Justin said reassuringly. "You should focus on his dick, if that's what you think he wants, but don't be afraid to ask him. You might be surprised."
"I couldn't."
Justin looked a little discouraged, but then smiled reassuringly. "Just relax and try to enjoy it. Remember, you're doing this for Billy, not to Billy. So make it as good as you can. Now relax."
And he started again, minus the nipple. Before long he started to take my cock deeper into his mouth. In and out as his tongue played all around my swollen cock. I could see why guys went crazy for this. I watched as my cock went deeper into his mouth. I felt my sensitive cockhead being stroked by the roof of his mouth, caressed by his warm, slippery tongue. It was so wet. So welcoming. So warm.
He started to hum gently almost like a cat purring. And I felt the gentle vibration in my cock. His lips smiled as my hard meat slipped in and out. In and out.. I couldn't resist. The urge was too strong and so I started to pump my cock deeper. It must have been going down his throat. That's what I could feel. I was fucking his throat. I could feel the surge building in my balls. I could sense every muscle in my body contract.
Then I exploded with a massive blast of cum. "I'm cumming," I shouted and shot again and again. I could see Justin swallowing, but still cum was dribbling from the edges of his mouth. I could see it on his lips. His lips swollen from sucking on my cock. That was my cum. On Justin's lips. My cum. His lips. Down his tight throat. Fucking A. So this was being gay.
As I looked into his eyes, I again had that great view of my still rigid cock deep between his lips, his smiling face looking up at me. My cum dripping from his mouth. On his lips.
He pulled back and my cock stood free. It felt cold in the air out of the comforting warmth of Justin's mouth.
"Want a taste," he said and stood. I could smell my cum like sea air on his breath. He leaned forward to kiss me. My cum on his lips.
I leaned away. "No thanks. I don't think Billy'd go for that and I've tasted it before." Again I seemed unable to move, or think, so I just said, "Thanks."
To Be Continued . . .
AUTHOR"S NOTE: The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the author. I would love to received comments on this story from readers at hardreader2000@aol.com