I Wanna Know What Love Is

By Eric James

Published on Apr 16, 2012

Gay

This fictional story contains sex and graphic violence between underage minors. All normal legal warnings apply. Story should not be used, duplicated or re-written without the consent of the author as the author holds the copy right to the story. Please feel free to send all comments and suggestions to my email eric.z.james@live.com

I wanna know what love is

He awoke with a start, he had another nightmare. He looked at the clock as it read 6 am; "Time for a run" he thought, he didn't usually run this early in the morning, only when he had a horrible dream. He switched off his alarm and sat up on the edge of his huge queen size bed and wiped the sleep out of his eyes, he pulled on some basketball shorts and a pair of Nike running shoes, foregoing a shirt and underwear. He grabbed his IPod and bounded down the stairs two at a time towards the front door.

He ran his normal route around the Arrowhead Country Club. His parents owned their home near the club and had been members for years, but he still got dirty looks from most of the neighbors when he went on his runs and he knew it was because he was black, even though he really didn't look it.

His name is Jules Marcel Barrett, a 16 year old high school student from San Bernardino, CA. Both his parents are Creole and were raised in New Orleans and moved to California before Jules was born. Being Creole; Jules was really light skinned compared to a normal African American, he also had hazel-green eyes and soft wavy hair. Jules was 5'7 and 120 pounds; he was short for his age and fairly thin, though nicely toned due to his work out regime and being involved in martial arts since he was 8. He was also extremely intelligent and at 16, he was entering his senior year of high school while most kids his age were sophomores. He could have tested out altogether and already be a college student but his mother wanted to him to remain a kid a little while longer, but since her passing he is finding more and more difficult to remain in school.

Whoever said money buys you happiness should be kicked in the nuts because that is not true, especially in Jules' case. He is the only child of pretty wealthy parents. His mother was a child advocate and psychologist and his father, who is an ex-Army Ranger, now owns a private securities and Intel company that handles private defense contract. But coming from a wealthy family did no favors for Jules. He came out of the closet at 13 and though his parents didn't mind his sexual preference, he caught hell from other family members as well as unrelenting bullying from school, and because of his heritage he got it even worse. The black kids ostracized him because he wasn't dark enough, the white kids tormented him and called him a nigger because he wasn't white enough, and though he may have looked Puerto Rican, the Latin kids hated him because he wasn't.

Needless to say he didn't have many friends, three to be exact. His best friend was named Damian and lived in New York City, Damian's father worked for Jules' dad; they were also old army buddies so Damian and Jules grew up together. They were more like brothers then friends and were always attached at the hip, there parents used to call them the twins which most people would have believed except Jules is black and Damian is white. They have an intense bond that can never be broken; they even came out of the closet together but have never had any romantic or sexual feeling towards one another. They were heart broken when Jules' dad, Stellan Barrett moved his family back to there home in California.

His other friends are Aiden and his twin sister Amy. Aiden and Amy's mother was Jules' mother's secretary. They are all seniors at the same school Jules attends; Aiden is the star of the football and basketball teams while Amy is the head cheerleader. Though their high school social status should dictate that they have nothing to do with Jules, they actually care deeply for him and treat him like a younger brother. No one messes with Jules while they are around, but as soon as their backs are turned, Jules is bullied and tormented.

Because of his lack of friends and him being an only child, he was doted on by his parents. His father gave him anything he wanted, there wasn't anything he couldn't have but it came with a strict guide line to never take anything he was given for granted because you never know when it will be taken from you. His father also insisted that he be athletic and fit and also know how to defend himself, so he trained Jules in martial arts as well as everything he learned as an Army Ranger. Jules hated violence but didn't complain about his training because he loved spending time with his dad, who was his hero. His mother treated him like he was a priceless gem and he loved her with all his might, he was true momma's-boy.

Because of the closeness with his mother, Jules himself almost died of heartache when his mother passed. It was a month to the day before Jules' 16th birthday; his parents had decided to buy him a brand new Range Rover that was to be delivered on his birthday. His father called home to tell his wife he wasn't going to be able to make it back to California for Jules' birthday.

"He is going to be devastated that you aren't going to be here".

"I know and I hate myself for it, but I have to be in Egypt for a few more months" he said somberly. "Will you please go pick up the watch I got for him at the mall, the store manager will be waiting for you".

Jules' mother agreed and left for the mall. Meanwhile Jules was at home cooking dinner trying to have it ready by the time his mother arrived. An hour later; his mother still hasn't returned, he thought she probably just got caught up shopping. Two hours later and he was starting to worry, he texted her with no reply. Another hour later he tried calling her phone but every attempt was met with her voice mail. He quickly ran to the computer in his dad's office and logged on to try and track the GPS on his mother's cell phone but couldn't get a signal response. Six hours after his mother was supposed to be home for dinner and the door bell rang. He looked at the security camera monitors and saw a man and a woman that he had never seen before, with his defenses up he answered the door.

"Is Mister Barrett home?" the man asked.

"No he isn't, who are you?"

"Is there another adult at home?" he asked again.

"No, what do you want?" Jules asked getting slightly irritated and worried.

"And what's your name young man?"

"You tell me who you are and what you want before I give you my name"

"We are homicide detectives with the San Bernardino Police Department" said the lady this time. "Do you know a Lisette Barrett?"

"Sh-she's my mother"

"It breaks my heart to tell you this young man, but you mother was in a car accident involving a drunk, she didn't make it. She died a couple hours ago"

At that instant everything else got numb and foggy. The lady detective was still talking to him but he couldn't make out what she was saying, he eye sight got watery and his body started to tremble, finally his legs gave way and he collapsed in the foyer.

Everything that followed for the two weeks after her death was a blur of events. People coming and going, so-called family and friends trying to give their condolences, the funeral the repast at the house with everyone trying to get a glimpse of the home she kept, the pitied whispers of family members feeling sorry for the faggot son she left behind. It was all a blur to Jules, he vaguely remembers Damian not leaving his side and constantly holding his hands even though they were getting dirty stares from the "southern" relatives, he can also vaguely remember his father bawling his eyes out in his bedroom most nights. The two had barely spoken two words to each other since the accident which was very odd seeing as they are normally extremely close.

June 1st, Jules' birthday came two weeks after his mothers funeral. Damian stayed in town refusing to leave him, Aiden and Amy came to help him celebrate as much as possible. His truck was delivered as scheduled, but his father couldn't bear to look at him the whole day, every time he tried to look at his son he got a stab of pain and guilt. Later that night, Jules heard Damian and Stellan in a heated argument, but he didn't care to find out why.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Stellan? Your son is in pain and you won't even speak to him let alone look at him"

"Don't speak to me that way in my own home" Stellan said sternly.

"Someone needs to speak to you this way, because you are acting like a jack-ass. Look I know you lost your wife and you hurt, but you are his father and he needs you. He hasn't spoken much and he cries himself to sleep and he is left alone because all he wants is for you to tell him it will be alright. I love him like he is my blood brother and I refuse to let anyone hurt him not even you, so get your shit together" Damian was fuming by the time he ended his tirade.

Stellan couldn't take it anymore, he broke down crying. Big bad Army Ranger Stellan, a man who dirty senators, dictators and terrorists leaders feared, a man who could make the scariest of the scary cower in defeat, was now bawling like a child.

"I know I'm acting like a piece of shit, but I can't to look at him. It's my fault she's dead, she was going to pick up a gift I got for Jules, it was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be in town but I couldn't make it and she went to the mall for me, it's all my fault and now he is going to hate me when he finds out she dies because of me"

The next morning, Stellan left for Egypt. When Jules woke, he found a note from his dad on his night stand that said:

"Jules I'm sorry, I'm sorry I haven't been there for your through this and I'm sorry I have to leave, you are old enough to take care of yourself and as soon I get the courage to talk to you, I'll explain everything. Please don't hate me. I love you. Dad."

Jules spent his summer alone for the most part. Damian had to leave in August to prepare for school, Aiden and Amy were often around to hang out with him but they had summer jobs. Jules resigned to training to pass the time and riding his dirt bike to clear his head. He was slowly coming to terms with his mother's death, but would have the occasional night mares, and that is when he would wake up early to run, just like he did this morning. After he returned home, he lounged around the house trying to enjoy the last day of summer, tomorrow is the first day of school.


Another nightmare brought on another 6 am run. By the time Jules made it back home, he had just enough time to shower, get dressed and grab a bagel before heading out pick up Aiden and Amy for the first day of school. "Why the hell am I even doing this" he thought to himself "I could just call the school and take the completion test" But by the time thought came across, he was already parked in front of Aiden's place waiting for them to come out. After stopping at Starbucks, they made their way to school to embark on another hellish year and Cajon High School.

"You ready for this kiddo?" Aiden asked. He could sense Jules's apprehension to get out of his truck in the student parking lot.

"Um, yeah I think so"

"Ok, look its going to be ok, no one is going to mess with you this year and if they do come get me or Amy"

"You don't have to look after me like I'm some kind of baby"

"I know I don't" he said "But you are like a little brother to me so I will" Jules grinned at the comment, deep down he knew both Aiden and Amy cared a lot for him, even though he had no idea why.

As the three walked on campus, they were greeted with smiles, stares and timid waves as if they were too afraid to approach them. Aiden and Amy always got stares; they were both extremely good looking twins that dressed very well. Even though Jules was dressed to kill like he always was, he sure all the stares and smiles were aimed at his friends, and was even more sure that no one really noticed him when he was with them. "Better not to be noticed then to be picked on" he thought.

No sooner then he had the thought, he was shoved hard into a wall and slumped to the ground, he looked up to see Joshua West standing above him. If there was anyone in the world to hate with a passion it was Joshua West and his younger brother Jacob. They have tormented Jules since freshman year.

"Watch where you're going faggot" he said with a sneer "You look good on the ground, probably from all the time you spend on your knees sucking cock like all fags do" In an instant, he was slammed hard into the same wall, Aiden was holding him by his neck with pure rage in his eyes.

"Call him a faggot again and I'll beat your ass like I did last year" Aiden shouted loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear. "Remember Joshua, I'm quarterback and team captain and if want any college scouts to come see you play, then you better behave or I'll make it so you get no game time.

"You can't do that" Josh seethed.

"I'm the captain and the coach is my uncle, what makes you think I can't" He let go of Joshua's neck, wrapped his arm of Jules shoulder and walked down the hall. It started already, not 5 minutes on campus and it started already, but Jules can handle it, he had been handling it since he came out. It was a decision he made and was proud of and was willing to deal with the consequences. He knew Josh was going to get him back, Aiden couldn't be everywhere Jules was, even though they were both seniors, Jules had all A.P. classes and the good thing about Jules being so ahead of the curve, he only had four classes then he could leave early.

Jules had AP Literature, AP Anatomy and AP French his first three periods while his fourth period was spent working in the school office as a runner for his last required elective. While in first period AP Lit, Jules noticed a student he never seen before, he knew who most of the seniors here even if they didn't care to know who him, but this guy was new. He couldn't help but look at him and he didn't know why. Maybe it was his olive complexion or his defined muscles you could clearly see through tight tank top, it might have slender face or it might have been the tattoo on his bicep, Jules was a sucker for a guy with tattoos.

All the staring Jules had been doing had caused stiffy to grow in his pants, "Holy Shit" he thought "do I find this guy attractive?" Jules never found himself attracted to guy who attended Cajon High School, yes there a lot of very hot guys at school but the majority of them had really shitty personalities that caused Jules to forego any notion of attempting to go there with them, even the closeted gays had theirs nose stuck so far up in the air that he didn't even bother to socialize with any of them. He dated guys that went to different schools in different towns. But something about this new guy intrigued him.

He was brought back to reality when Ms. Munson announced that there would be a book report due the following week on one of the books from the summer reading list. Everyone but Jules groaned loudly when they heard it was Oscar Wilde's The Importance of being Earnest.

"Don't give me those sad faces and puppy dog eyes" Ms. Munson said with a smile "you should have read it over the summer, you knew this was coming. Jules; you read it twice already so this shouldn't be an issue for you, and you; Mr. Giordano" she said, turning her attention to the new guy, "Since you're new, I suggest you get it cracking tonight"

"So that's his last name" Jules thought, "he's Italian, how hot is that?" The bell rang, and he picked up his books and made for the hall. Jules kept his head down trying to go unnoticed and trying to avoid Joshua, as he turned down the corridor to his next class; Jules was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and slammed into a wall for the second time that day.

"Unlike my brother, I don't have to worry about football" It was Josh's younger brother Jacob

"What do you want Jacob? Just leave me alone" "Not a chance, I don't like niggers and I don't like fags and you're both" Jacob said.

Sensing the beating that was about to come his way, Jules decided if he was going to get beat up anyway he might as well speak his mind.

"You didn't seem to mind me being a nigger or a fag in the locker room during freshman year Jacob, matter-of-fact you liked me being a fag very much" Jules quipped with a grin. That sent Jacob into a rage; he reared his fist back aiming it directly at Jules's face. Not wanting to see the fist coming at him, he closed his and waited for the blow, but it never came. After a few seconds that actually seemed like minutes, Jules opened his eyes and took in the scene before him. The new kid had Jacob by the wrist and was holding it at an angle that made Jules wince.

"Do we have a problem here?" the new kid said with an angry tone. Jules stood there in shocked silence.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, do you know who I am" Jacob since. The new kid twisted his wrist some more and Jacob cried out in pain.

"I don't give a shit who you think you are, but what I see is a punk that's towering over and bullying a someone who is smaller then you" said the new kid in a more calm tone "now get the fuck outta here before I brake your arm" Jacob ran off, but not before shouting that this wasn't over.

"Are you okay" he said, taking Jules by the shoulder and looking him over.

"Um yeah thanks, you didn't have to do that though, now he is going to tell his brother and they will be on your case"

"I can handle myself; I'm DeMarco by the way, DeMarco Giordano"

"I'm Jules Barrett"

"Yeah I know, from first period" DeMarco said "you should really learn to defend yourself some, maybe take martial arts self defense class"

"I have high ranking belts in Karate and Kung Fu" Jules said.

"Then why not use it"

"We are trained to never seek out a fight"

"Correct, the oath is not to seek a fight but to defend ones self" DeMarco said with a grin "I've taken Tai Kwon Do since junior high" Jules smiled back, realizing he was actually having a conversation with a hot guy, then was faced with the thought that DeMarco didn't know he was gay and was the school's outcast. Wanting to flee from DeMarco's presence, he stammered "thanks again" and walked off towards his next class.

"Wait up" DeMarco shouted. Jules didn't want to stop and wait for him, he didn't want to talk to him and start to like him only to have DeMarco hate him once he found out he was the school queer. Despite the arguing in his head telling him to flee into his class, Jules stopped to let him catch up.

"Why'd you walk off like that, a guy saves you from being punched in the face and you just walk off during a conversation"

"Well I didn't ask you to stop him from hitting me"

"I know but I did, and you don't have to be rude"

"Well, I'm sorry for being rude, but I gotta head to class" Jules said, not looking up from his shoes.

"Wait, Ms. Munson said you read the book for class already, I was wondering if I could borrow your notes?" DeMarco asked.

"Is that why your stopped Jacob from hitting me, just so you can ask for my notes?"

"No" he said slightly angry "I was trying to be nice but...you know what never mind" he turned to head into the same class, and now it was Jules's time to stop him.

"Wait, no I'm sorry. I'm not used to people doing anything nice for me, let alone actually trying to talk to me and yes you can use my notes, but they are at home though"

With that a grin grew on DeMarco's face, "I can pick them up later if that's ok. It looks like we have the same class" They walked into AP Anatomy and took a seat next to each other at the only empty lab table. Almost immediately they started getting a mix of stares from the rest of the classmates. Jules knew right away why everyone was staring; they were wondering who the new mysterious new boy was and why was he sitting next to the queer. In the middle of the lecture DeMarco leaned into Jules and whispered "Do I have a booger in my nose or something?"

Jules chuckled at the question and replied "no"

"Then why is everyone staring at me like I'm ugly or something?"

"Because maybe you are that ugly" Jules joked causing DeMarco to grin. "Actually they are staring at you because you are sitting with me"

"What is so special about you that they would all give me the death stare?"

Taking a deep breath, Jules turned and faced DeMarco "Well your going to find out any way, but I'm gay and out and I'm hated because of it, to add to that I come from a wealthy family and live in a neighborhood that's usually exclusively white and because of that, I'm hated even more" Jules turned back around and got back to doing his class work. DeMarco said nothing to him for the rest of the class. Even though they hadn't really said much to each other, DeMarco's silence after Jules's revelation was deafening. "Well it was nice to have someone be nice to me even for a few minutes" Jules thought.

The bell rang and Jules made for the hall to head for his next class. As soon as he reached AP French someone grabbed his arm from behind. Once again fearing the worse, he turned around to see DeMarco trying to catch his breath.

"What is it with you and just walking, it's a bad habit you have to break"

"What is there to stick around for" Jules said, trying to figure DeMarco out.

"Listen, I can't imagine what you are going through...well actually maybe I do a little bit. I bet you took my silence to mean that I didn't wanna have anything to do with you because you're gay, trust me that wasn't the case and maybe later I'll tell you later why that is, but I don't care if you're gay, hell I don't care if you're purple with pink polka dots ok?"

"That's cool of you to say but maybe it's for the best for you not to be seen talking to me, you'll catch hell for it. My two best friends are the schools most popular kids and they don't care about me being gay either but they still get shit for it and the are always getting into fights because of me, they can handle it but you're new here and I wouldn't want to make your senior year at a new school hard" Jules said, trying not to look DeMarco in the face.

"I told you I can handle myself" That brought a smile a Jules' face. He didn't know what it was about this kid, he knew him for only an hour and was already becoming drawn to him "Can I have your address so I can pick up those notes". Jules gave him his address and cell phone number and went into his next class which flew by. After 3rd period was lunch, Amy met Jules by his truck so they could go off campus for a bite to eat; Aiden was planning on spending lunch time with his team.

"I heard that little douche Jacob tried to harass you today" Amy said, while eating fries.

"Yeah"

"And I heard some sexy new kid stopped it"

"Yeah"

"Well that was nice of him" she said with in inquisitive smile "well tell me about him"

"I dunno, I just met him, his name is DeMarco and he's a senior, we have two classes together"

"And is he as sexy as everyone is saying he is?" she asked, Jules was really trying to avoid the question but Amy could read him like a book "I see the look on your face, tell me"

"Yeah he's fucking gorgeous"

"You think he's single?" she asked

"You wish, maybe he's gay"

"Now who's wishing" she said. They laughed and kept up the conversation of the new guy DeMarco that Jules still couldn't figure out. His 4th period elective was boring and consisted of a lot of filing and answering the phone in the attendance office. After 4th period was over, Jules headed to his car without any harassment. Once home he stripped and put on a pair of basketball shorts and anxiously waited for DeMarco to come over, there was something about his niceness that he couldn't put his finger. He sat down on the overstuffed couch in the family room in front of the TV when his cell phone rang. He looked at the clock and figured school was out in New York and it was probably Damian calling to find out how his first day went. He grabbed his phone and looked at the caller ID, it wasn't Damian but he answered the call anyway.

"Hello Dad"

(Author's Note)

A story always works better for me if I get a clear understanding of what each character looks like. So below are photos of the people that will be written about the most and as a new person is introduced, their photo will be added.

http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/JulesBarrett.jpg http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/DamianJohanson.jpg http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/AidenTalley.jpg http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/DeMarcoGiordano.jpg

Next: Chapter 2


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