If I Aint Got You

By JT Poole

Published on Aug 29, 2004

Gay

Warnings and Disclaimers:

I don't know any of the members of NSYNC or any celebrity mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is only for entertainment value only folks. Hope you enjoy the show oh I mean reading.

====================================== If I Ain't Got You Chapter -- 27 by JT Poole

// Orlando, FL -- The Poole-Wahlberg Estates -- Justin and Nick's Room //

"Nick can I come in?" JT asks, tapping on the door as Aaron peeks out and opens the door the rest of the way. "Oh, hello Aaron. Where's Nick?"

"He's sleeping JT. Is there something wrong?" Aaron asks.

"No, nothing wrong, something is going right. Justin is awake." JT says, smiling widely as Aaron walks over to the bed and wakes Nick up.

"Nick, Nick wake up." Aaron says, shaking Nick lightly. "Come on bro wake up."

"What's going on A?" Nick asks, rolling over in bed.

"It's Justin bro, he's awake." Aaron tells him as Nick jumps out of bed.

"We need to go to the hospital." Nick says, running around in the room, trying to find clothes to put on.

"Nick stop, you can't go to the hospital now, it's the middle of the night. You have to wait until it's morning." JT says, trying to stop him.

"No JT, I must...I need to see him now." Nick cries out, pulling away from JT, tears flowing down his face.

"Nick I'm sorry, you can't, not at this hour, you have to wait until morning." JT tells him, trying to hold him as Mark walks into the room.

"Come on Nick calm down man." Mark says to him, helping JT hold him.

"Nothing's going to happen to him." JT tells him rubbing his back.

"You don't understand, I need to see him." Nick broke down in JT's arms. "I need to see him, I need to see him."

"Mark call Andrew." JT directs him. "See if we can get Nick in to see Justin, just for a few moments."

"Okay baby." Mark replies leaving the room to make the call.

// 30 Minutes Later -- Florida Hospital -- Justin's Room //

"Hey baby." Nick says, sitting next to Justin's bed and running his fingers through his hair.

"Nick?" Justin speaks, looking up, rubbing his eyes, making sure his mind wasn't deceiving him.

"Yes baby it's me. How do you feel?" Nick asks, grabbing Justin's hand and placing a kiss to his palm.

"I am better now that I have you here." Justin answers him, reaching up to caress Nick's face.

"I am better now too that I have seen you." Nick replies, tears falling from his eyes.

"Baby did something happen?" Justin asks, pulling himself into a sitting position.

"Yes baby, yes something happened. I beat up JC and Dean." Nick responds as Justin's jaw drop.

"Why baby?" Justin asks him, pulling him into a hug as he starts to cry.

"Because of what he did to you baby." Nick says to him. "I was mad and I let my anger get the best of me and then I attacked Dean because he tried to take up for JC."

"Oh my, did you hurt him badly?" Justin asks, rubbing Nick's back and kissing the side of his face.

"I don't know. Dean took him to the hospital, he's supposed to be here, but I don't think anyone found out anything, I threatened Dean if he said anything else about JC in front of me." Nick explains, coughing, as there was a knock at the door.

"Hi guys, I hate to cut into your time, but..." JT says, being cut off by Nick.

"Why can't I stay here with him?" Nick asks, not moving.

"You can't stay here Nick." JT says.

"Why not JT? I am here now, why can't I just stay here?" Nick asks, wanting a good explanation of why he couldn't stay with Justin.

"It would be best if you went home and got some rest and then came back. The both of you need rest." JT says to Nick, standing next to the two of them now.

"I...I guess you are right JT." Nick says as he kisses Justin and gets up out of the bed. "I will be here first thing in the morning baby."

"I will be here waiting for you." Justin says, letting go of Nick's hand. "Baby get some rest, you look like you need it."

"I will baby. Now that you are alright, I am sure I can have a good night's sleep." Nick replies, walking towards the door with JT.

"I will see you bright and early so look out." JT says, turning off the light.

"Wait...why do you have to see me bright in early for?" Justin asks, turning the light on above the bed.

"Your PT silly." JT says winking and walking out the door.

"Oh man, he's a slave driver I tell you." Justin says, pulling the string, turning the light back off. "Oh great, I wake up and he puts me back to work."

"I heard that." JT says, peeking into the room. "Just for that, that's a few extra laps around the gym."

"Give me a break." Justin grumbles, turning over in bed.

// Back at the Poole-Wahlberg Estates -- Kasai's Attic //

"No...no...please...don't hurt me, I promise I will be good, just don't hurt me." Kasai says aloud. "No! Please stop! I want my daddy, I want my daddy! You are hurting me! You are hurting me!"

"Kasai buddy what's going on up there? Is everything alright?" Dean asks, turning the lights on in the attic, going up the stairs to the main part of where Kasai's room is.

"No! No! Get away from me!" Kasai screams out, struggling with an invisible person. "Please stop! Please, don't hurt me, I said I would be good! You are hurting me!"

"Come on buddy snap out of it." Dean says, kneeling down next to Kasai's bed. "Kai, Kai wake up buddy."

"Please don't hurt me!" Kasai screams out as Mark walks into the room.

"What's going on?" Mark asks, standing next to Dean.

"He's having a nightmare and he's not waking up. I have been here for the last few minutes trying to wake him up and he's not answering me. He keeps screaming." Dean answers as Steve walks up followed by Angie and Kevin.

"What's going on up here Mark?" Angie asks, standing next to him.

"Something's wrong with Kai, he's having nightmares, but he won't wake up." Mark answers her.

"Come on my little angel, wake up." Angie says, shaking Kasai lightly.

"What's wrong with him Angie? Why isn't he waking up?" Mark asks, sounding hysterical. "What's wrong with my boy?"

"Excuse me? What's going on up here?" Aaron asks as he and Steve walk up into the room.

"Come on baby boy wake up." Mark says, gently shaking Kasai. "Come on son, it's me Daddy Mark. Come on buddy wake up."

"No! Please don't hurt me, I promise I won't tell anyone, just don't do that, no not that! Stop it! It hurts!" Kasai screams out, shaking and struggling when Mark touches him.

"Oh man, he's got it bad." Aaron says, covering his mouth. "I didn't know he was that far off, I only thought..."

"You only thought what?" Mark asks, turning around to look at Aaron. "Did you think he was crazy! What did you think Aaron? Tell me! Tell me what you think?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." Aaron replies stepping back away from Mark.

"You are right, you never should have came up here in the first place. I think you should leave!" Mark shouts.

"Mark!" Angie shouts at him. "You calm down, calm down right now! None of this is helping Kai."

"I'm not leaving until I know he's okay." Aaron replies sticking up to Mark.

"You are right. None of this is helping him." Mark says, tears falling out of his eyes as he walked to the corner of the room. "I'm sorry Aaron, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Yeah whatever." Aaron says sitting down at the side of Kasai's bed. "Kasai, can you hear me man, it's me Aaron, come on dude, you need to wake up, you are giving your dad and the rest of us a big scare here. Come on babe, wake up."

"What did you just say?" Mark asks, walking over to Aaron as Angie steps in front of him.

"Aaron?" Kasai speaks, opening his eyes and sitting up in his bed, tears running down his face. "Daddy?"

"I'm right here." Mark says, stopping until Kasai got out of bed, stepping over Aaron and hugging Mark.

"Dad, I was so scared, I couldn't stop them, I couldn't stop them, they hurt me dad, they hurt me." Kasai says, crying into Mark's chest.

"Baby you are going to be okay now." Mark says, rubbing Kasai's back as he cried.

"I think we will leave you alone now." Angie states, grabbing Kevin by the hand and pulling him along with her as Steve and Dean follows.

"Aaron please don't go." Kasai says, still holding onto Mark as Mark motions for Aaron to sit in the chair next to the bed.

"I'm here for you dude." Aaron says, sitting down in the chair with tears in his eyes.

"Thanks dad, I think I am going to be okay for now." Kasai says, kissing Mark on the cheek and letting him go. "I...I'm sorry for waking everybody

up."

"Don't worry about it son, I don't think you need to worry about that." Mark says, kissing him on his forehead. "Good night son."

"Goodnight dad." Kasai says sitting down on his bed. "Thank you for staying."

"You don't have to thank me, I would have stayed anyway. You are my friend, I wanted to make sure you were okay." Aaron says to Kasai, holding his hand.

"Well any way, I am glad you stayed." Kasai says. "If it wasn't for your voice, I don't know if I would have ever gotten away from them. It was all so real until I heard your voice. You just don't know how much I thank you for that."

"Think nothing of it dude, I am here for you." Aaron says as Kasai hugs him and then quickly places a kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Kasai utters quickly, sliding back as Aaron picks up his hand and held it.

"It's alright dude, you didn't do anything wrong. I like it when you kiss me." Aaron says, placing a kiss to Kasai's hand, causing the boy to blush. "You look very beat in a cute kind of way. I think you need to try and get some real sleep."

"I don't know if I can." Kasai says, holding his head down as the tears came. "Every time I close my eyes, they came back for me."

"Oh man." Aaron says, hugging Kasai. "I am so sorry that those guys did this to you."

"Don't be, you didn't do it. I deserved it, I shouldn't have been there." Kasai says, trembling in Aaron's arms.

"No you don't, you didn't deserve this." Aaron says, crying now, puling Kasai closer to him, and crying on his shoulder. "You didn't deserve to have your body violated like this. No one, I mean no one deserves to have their body violated..."

"A...Aaron are you okay?" Kasai asks shakily.

"I'll be fine." Aaron says, wiping his eyes and unwrapping himself from Kasai. "It doesn't matter now, it doesn't matter at all."

"What doesn't matter Aaron?" Kasai asks him, holding his other hand now.

"None of that stuff matters now, it's all in the past. All that matters now is you." Aaron says, kissing Kasai on the cheek. "It's getting late, I think you need to try and get some sleep."

"I will if you stay here with me." Kasai says, wrapping his arms around Aaron's waist, pulling him closer into the bed. "You are my protector."

"Okay, but I don't want your dads to get the wrong idea." Aaron says.

"They won't." Kasai says, kissing Aaron again and laying his head on his chest. "They won't"

// Tuesday Morning (Breakfast) -- The Kitchen //

"Good morning Mark. How is Kasai doing?" Kevin asks walking into the kitchen, grabbing a cup and pouring himself some coffee.

"I guess he's doing okay." Mark answers him.

"Tell me something Mark, what happened to the guys that did that to him?" Kevin asks.

"They are walking around free." Mark says, slamming his coffee cup down on the table. "Just yesterday, one of the boys approached him and acted though nothing happened. Scared the hell out of Kai."

"Oh Damn, why aren't they in jail?" Kevin asks, helping Mark clean up the mess he just made.

"Because Larry Tanner has money!" Mark shouts, sitting down in his chair, laying his head on the table as he cried. "He's filthy fucking rich and he knows how to bend the fucking law!"

"Money can't always keep people out of jail. In this matter, those guys should have been thrown under the jail." Kevin says, thinking back to what his cousin Brian did to Nick.

"Well in this case, Jared and his friend are back on the streets and the law doesn't care." Mark speaks out, still crying. "I just don't know what to do to help my little buddy."

"I am sure you and JT will think of something to help him." Kevin says, hugging Mark.

"I think we need to change the subject, he will be down pretty soon and I don't want him to see me like this." Mark says, wiping his eyes.

"I understand Mark." Kevin says, rubbing Mark's back. "I felt the same way when Brian did this to Nick. It's not going to get any better until those boys are behind bars and Kasai knows that he's safe."

"You're right." Mark says, hugging Kevin and walking towards the door. "Thanks Kevin."

"You're welcome Mark." Kevin says, sitting down sipping his coffee, waiting on Angie to come down.

// Up in JT's and Mark's Room //

"Mark? Mark where are you?" JT calls out, searching the bed with his hand for Mark's body.

"Here I am baby." Mark answers him, turning on the light in the room.

"Where were you?" JT questions Mark, getting up out of the bed and walking over to him. "Why did you leave me all alone?"

"I never went back to sleep when you and Nick got back." Mark answers him, walking fully into the room and closing the door.

"Why not baby?" JT asks, kissing Mark on the cheek.

"Too much on my mind to sleep baby." Mark says, as there is a knock at the door.

"Go away." JT says aloud, wrapping his arms around Mark. "We are busy, come back later on."

"Oh cut it out you two, open up, no pun intended." Angie says, tapping on the door again.

"Oh what do you want woman." JT says, cracking the door open, just a little bit.

"To talk to you two silly." Angie says, pushing the door, forcing her way into the room. "Damn you act like I have never seen a naked man before."

"We are not naked, give us a few minutes and you not being here and maybe we will be." JT says, glaring at her.'

"Oh you can roll around like rabbits later, right now we have a problem to deal with." Angie says.

"Another one? Doesn't this house ever have a problem free morning?" JT asks, shaking his head.

"Guess not baby." Mark replies as he and JT sat down on the bed.

"What's the problem Angie and I don't want to hear anything about you and Kevin, that's your personal business and you should keep that to yourself." JT questions her, wrapping his arms around Mark's body, cuddling up to him.

"What are you going to do about Kai?" Angie asks, handing JT and Mark a piece of paper of some kind. "This was just delivered here by messenger.

"What is it baby?" Mark asks, waiting for JT to finish reading the paper.

"It's a certified letter from the school. They don't want Kai coming back until the whole matter between him and Jared has been resolved." JT states, still reading the rest of the letter. "He isn't to set foot on the school grounds until there has been a hearing for the two of them to come back."

"What? He can't go to school?" Mark asks, jumping up, fuming mad.

"No he can't go until the matter between him and Jared has been resolved." JT says.

"Does it say anything about Jake?" Mark asks as he paces back in forth in the room.

"No it doesn't baby." JT says.

"Maybe they don't know about his involvement in this." Angie says, trying to calm Mark down yet again.

"Why is all of this happening to him? This is really going to hurt him." Mark says, punching the wall.

"Mark stop that before you hurt yourself." JT says, walking over to him.

"Owww shit! Too late for that." Mark says, shaking his hand and tears coming to his eyes.

"Oh great, let me see." Angie says, grabbing Mark's hand lightly. "Feels like you have fractured the bone, you might need to come on to the ER and let Andrew look at it."

"Shit that hurts." Mark grumbles, sitting back down on the bed next to JT.

"See what happens when you let violence influence your actions?" Angie asks him. "Let me go get something to wrap it until you get to the ER."

"How are we going to tell Kai about this?" Mark asks.

"Give me a few, I am thinking." JT says.

"Well hurry, we don't have forever." Angie says, tapping her foot.

"Look hur ladee I have had a bad night, so don't antagonize me." JT directs at her, walking over to the dresser in the room.

"Sorry JT." Angie says in a small voice. "I was only trying to lighten the mood."

"Yeah right Angie, lighten the mood elsewhere." JT says opening the drawer and pulling out a shirt as Angie walks out of the room.

"Baby you were very rude to her." Mark says, walking over to JT.

"I have a right to be rude if I want to." JT says, walking away from Mark.

"Baby don't walk away from me. I think you need to apologize to Angie." Mark says.

"Coming from the man that has an attitude with every person in this house at least three or four times a week and you are telling me I need to apologize? Hell must have frozen over." JT says walking into the bathroom and slamming the door.

// Downstairs -- An Hour Later //

"Where is JT?" Angie asks, sipping her coffee, sitting in Kevin's lap.

"He's on his way down. Be warned, he's in a mood." Mark mutters just as JT walks into the room.

"Good morning JT." Nick says, sitting down next to Aaron.

"Good morning Nick." JT says, sitting down in his usual spot and picking up his coffee cup and pouring himself some coffee. "Kai we have something to tell you."

"What is it Daddy J?" Kasai asks, looking at JT, scooping some eggs onto his fork and putting them into his mouth.

"Son you are not allowed to go back to school." JT says, getting to the point.

"What? Why?" Kasai asks, standing up now.

"Well the Principal and other people don't want what happened yesterday to happen again." JT explains standing up and walking over to Kai.

"But, I want to go to school. What am I supposed to do all day? I will fall behind everyone else!" Kasai shouts out. "Why are they doing this? What about Jake and Jared, are they allowed to go to school?"

"Well the letter says you and Jared, I don't think they know about Jake's involvement." JT says as Mark walks over and hugs him too.

"Don't worry son we will fix all of this." Mark says, rubbing Kasai's back.

"This can't be happening! I just...I can't deal with this anymore!" Kasai pushes JT and Mark away and runs back upstairs.

"Kai! Kai! Come back." JT calls out, tripping and falling down to the floor.

"Baby stop, are you okay?" Mark asks, trying to help JT up.

"I am fine! Quit it! Kai, Kai come back!" JT shouts out, getting up and going in the direction that Kasai went in.

"Is he alright? He doesn't sound well." Nick says, looking at Angie and Mark.

"I don't know." Mark says, holding his head down.

"I have been wondering that myself Mark, since all of this happened with Kai, he's been acting differently." Angie says, placing her coffee cup in the sink.

"Maybe he needs therapy." Nick suggests. "He might need someone professional to talk to about all of this."

"Maybe, but he's not going to talk to someone else about this." Mark says, picking up the phone and placing a call to someone.

// At The Hospital //

--- Dean's POV ---

"Good morning, could you tell me what room JC Chasez is in?" I ask, walking up to the Nurses' Station.

"He's right down in room 237." The nurse answers me, pointing in the direction of JC's room.

"Thank you ma'am." I say to her turning around and walking down the hall.

Reaching JC's room, I stop just before I get to his door. I am a little bit nervous, but I am sure all of this will pass once I am in there and talking to him. I check my clothes again and then smooth my hair. What's the matter with me? I am acting like I am preparing for a first date or something. Come on Dean, snap out of it. Okay lets do this man, come on, and let's get in there and check on that handsome man. I tap on the door, waiting for him to tell me to come in...

"Who is it?" I hear someone see in a somewhat sarcastic voice.

"Hi there." I say peeking into the room.

"Hi...Hi there, you are the guy that brought me here." He says, sitting up in the bed now.

"Yeah that was me." I say to him.

"Come on in here." He says, waving me into the room.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him, moving closer to the bed.

"I feel better today than I did yesterday when Nick Carter was hitting me." He answers me, rubbing his sides.

"I know the feeling, he attacked me too after I got back to the house yesterday." I tell him, as he points to the chair next to the bed.

"The nerve of that guy. He attacks me and then attacks you. I think he should go to jail for that." He says, rubbing the top of his head.

"He's under a lot of stress right now." I say, looking down at the floor, not really concentrating on anything. "I'm going to overlook the events of yesterday. If it happens again, then I will be forced to press charges against him."

"I don't know about that. He's a threat to me. All I wanted was to see Justin and he cut loose on me. That's not overlookable." He explains, pouring himself a cup of water and then taking a sip.

"What's the deal with you three anyway if you don't mind me asking?" I ask him.

"Well that's a long story, but I guess I will get it all out in the open." He says, taking another sip of water. "First, me and Justin were a couple. He found out that I was having an affair with Kevin and so he left me. "

"The Kevin at the house?" I ask him.

"Yeah, the very same one." He says with a far away look in his eyes. "I threw away four years of love on that man."

"But he's with Angela." I say, getting a little pissed about the whole situation.

"Yeah he's with her now. He's going through a phase right now and doesn't really know what he wants. He said he wants to be with a woman, but I am not really sure if he does or not."

"So what happened with you, Justin and Nick?" I ask him.

"Well after Justin found out about Kevin, he moved out of the house and into a hotel." He says, crying a little. "He said he needed to distance himself from me."

"Okay." I say as he holds up his hand.

"A few weeks later I went to his hotel to talk and he ran from me." He says crying a little bit more now. "He got in his car, he was mad and upset. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and he had an accident."

"Oh my, so that's how he ended up in the wheelchair." I say, coming to the realization of why Nick attacked me.

"Yeah I'm the reason why." He says, wiping his eyes. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I just wanted him to take me back. Now all I have done is hurt him more and hurt all of my friends."

"All of your friends?" I ask.

"Yeah we all have the same friends and since this happened, none of them will talk to me, hell if I even go around them I get attacked." He explains, picking up a Kleenex and blowing his nose. "I have no one. No one wants me around. Justin, Kevin, no one wants me around."

"That's not true." I say as he turns away from me. "I am here. I am here for you JC."

"How could you be here for me, you don't even know me." He says, turning to face me. "You are only here because you brought me here. That's all you know about me."

"That's true JC, that's all I know about you, but I would like to know

more." I say reaching for his hand. "I know you have hurt people in the past, and I am quite sure people have hurt you, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that you are going to heal and I will be here with you to keep you company."

"Why?" He asks, letting his thumb rub across mine.

"Because I think you are worthy of some attention." I say, standing up and placing a kiss on his cheek. "I have to go JC, but I will be back later if you want me to come back."

"Sure...I would love for you to come back." He says, smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Cool, then I will see you around dinner time." I say waving goodbye as I walk out the door.

"Hmm, I got me a SuperMan." I hear him say as I stand outside his door smiling.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments or Suggestions Contact Information

Email: jtpoole9@nctv.com mailto:jtpoole9@nctv.com Website: http://jtsplace.no-ip.com http://jtsplace.no-ip.com/ Yahoo: johntpoole Yahoo Group: writings_of_jt_poole-subscribe@yahoogroups.com AIM: gayboyjt2001 ICQ #: 146925768

Next: Chapter 28


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