Note: I have been kinda busy lately but I made this one a little longer. I didn't realize this story would end up with more than 10 chapters. I'll try to post the next one soon.
************** If I let You Go 11 **************
********** Jason's POV **********
"Good morning!" James greeted me with a huge smile on his face. I just grunted a greeting and sat down on the table. I started to eat my breakfast half-heartedly. I still can't believe I saw Kyle and Ryan sleeping together.
"I heard Kyle got lucky last night," James said in a teasing voice. "It seems your ex-roommate is involved somehow."
"Where did you hear that?" I said in irritation.
"One of the guys told me," James laughed out. I barely ate my breakfast before I went back up to my floor. To my great dismay, I bumped into Ryan in the hallway. We both stopped in our tracks and looked at each other silently.
"Hey," Ryan said in a very nervous voice.
"Morning," I said as I tried to keep my voice even. "You seem to--" I didn't get to finish my sentence because Kyle choose that moment to step out in the hallway. He froze and looked at Ryan and me in embarrassment.
"Hey," Kyle walked up to us as he tried to keep his voice steady. Kyle gave me a nervous smile and then faced Ryan and handed him a wallet. "You left this."
"I'd better leave you two alone," I whispered to them as I started walking towards my room again.
"Jason, wait," I heard Ryan call out to me. I stopped and looked back at them. Kyle was looking down on the floor as Ryan was giving me a very helpless look. He couldn't possibly think of any stupid reason to get out of this situation. "I...umm...I...this isn't what it seems." Ryan was fidgeting as he spoke to me. He became silent as he looked at my expressionless face.
"I have a meting at the council this morning," I sighed out deeply as it became obvious he couldn't think of any reason to give me. "I'd better hurry or I'll be late. I'll see you guys whenever."
"You seem to be a little distracted lately," Lisa asked me while we were having a late lunch later that day. "You were quiet during the meeting this morning even if all of us were all yelling and shouting at each other."
"I was a little sleepy," I sort of glared at her. "Next time could we not meet so early? And would you please stop this stupid business with the Guardian?"
"They have been on my back since the start of the term," Lisa shot back at me.
"They probably didn't like the way you almost cut off their funding," I retorted back at her. I saw Kyle walk in the cafeteria just then. He immediately walked over to our table. Lisa was still ranting about the Guardian when Kyle came up to us.
"Hey," Kyle gave both of us a smile as Lisa smiled at Kyle.
"Nice game the other week," Lisa said to Kyle.
"Umm..thanks," Kyle then looked at me. "Can I talk to you Jason? It's very important."
"Okay, I guess," I stood up and nodded my head. We said goodbye to Lisa and walked out of the cafeteria. We found an empty room and Kyle locked it behind us.
"What do you want to talk about?" I said casually as I sat down on a chair. I knew what he wanted to talk about but I wanted him to say it first.
"The guys said you saw me and Ryan together," Kyle said to me after he pulled a chair in front of me.
"They were a little drunk and I should have stopped them from spying on the guys at the dorm," I gave him a weak smile. "But I thought it would be kind funny if we burst in on a couple doing the nasty. I just didn't thought we'd be seeing you and Ryan together."
"I went home drunk from the party last night and I think I bumped into Ryan on the way," Kyle said as he ran his hand thru his hair.
"You think you bumped into Ryan?" I looked at him in bewilderment.
"I was wasted last night," Kyle said in a whisper. "There were a couple of girls that kept on coming to me and I kept on wishing it would be a guy. I got so depressed so I drank a lot. I bumped into Ryan and we ended up going back to my room."
"And the guys are making it hard for you? I'll talk to them and-"
"No, it's not that," Kyle shook his head at me. "I told them this really stupid reason and I don't know if they believed it or not. I really don't care. I just wanted to ask you about the QC."
"Shouldn't you be asking a member of the QC and not me?" I said to him thoughtfully.
"I don't really know any of them," Kyle looked bashfully at me. "I-had wanted to be a member since last year but I was scared of what you guys will think."
"And after what we saw last night, you figured what the hell, huh?" I smiled at him weakly. "But why tell me this?"
"I know you're friends with a lot of the QC people," Kyle's face was a little flushed as he spoke. "Can...you accompany me to one of their meetings? Please?"
"You mean one of their organization meetings or one of their support group meetings?" I kinda got this feeling Kyle was speaking of the latter one.
"I believe they are having one of their support group meetings later at the student center," Kyle answered me. "Will you come with me?"
"I'll be at the council office," I sighed out deeply. "If you're sure you want to do this then just pick me up later."
"Thanks!" Kyle grinned at me and leaned forward and gave me a hug.
********** Ryan's POV **********
I fucked up big time! Why did I have to get so drunk that I came back to some guy's room and had sex with him? And the worst part of it was that it was one of Jason's friends and lived in the same floor as he did.
"It's okay," Kyle gave me a weak smile. We were back at his room after that humiliating scene with Jason in the hallway. "Jason wouldn't think of you any less now that he knows you're gay."
"You think..he knows what happened between us?" I asked him in a whisper as I tried hard to hold back my tears.
"I..don't know," Kyle said truthfully. "All I knows is that Jason's one of the nicest guys around campus. I know he's friends with a lot of the Queer Coalition people so he probably don't hate gays."
"You..think he's gay?" It felt a little weird asking him that question but I just had to know.
"I don't know," Kyle gave me this funny look. " I had this stupid crush on him since the first time I saw him. I guess I'm not the best person to answer your question." Kyle then laughed out and gave me a crooked smile. "I guess this means we won't be going out on a date or something like that, huh? Seeing as you have this thing for Jason."
"I'm not-" I blushed deeply but Kyle just laughed again and cut me off.
"What happened last night was very special for me," Kyle winked at me that made me blush even more. "We were both drunk but I don't regret anything. I'm very sure now that I'm gay coz I hadn't been as turned on as last night as I was with any of the girls I ever dated. I know we're not really meant to be together but I'm happy I got the chance to be with you even for a short while."
"I'm your first?" I asked him shyly.
"First guy," Kyle nodded his head.
"You're my first everything," I confessed to him. "For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure I'm gay because I really enjoyed what happened last night too."
"Too bad it was not with Jason, eh?" Kyle said as he winked at me.
"He's really not gay?" I asked him again softly.
"Maybe," Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "I know he haven't dated any girls on campus yet. He doesn't seem to be interested in them. Although he is really so busy with the council and everything. You know what? You should be asking his roommate James or Lisa from the council. They're the ones closest to Jason."
*********** Jason's POV ***********
"Thanks for doing this for me again," Kyle said to me with a huge smile on his face as we walked down to the conference room where the QC was having it's support group meeting.
"Glad I could help," I flashed him a smile. We reached the conference room and there were about thirty people there. When we entered, they all looked at us. I knew they weren't surprised to see me since I was the head of the External committee of the council, which means I get to talk with the different organization within the campus. But I think this was the first time a jock was seen during any QC hearing.
"Hey," Billy quickly came up to us. He gave me a smile as he looked at Kyle and me quizzically. "Any problems Jason?"
"No," I said as I glanced at Kyle. He was looking around nervously as was trying hard not to move restlessly. "Actually it's kind of a funny story." I grabbed his arm gently and told Kyle to sit down for a while.
"What's wrong?" Billy asked me as I pulled him into a corner. He looked back at Kyle sitting on a chair at the back row. "I heard from some guys that Kyle is sleeping with your roommate. Is that true?"
"My ex-roommate Ryan," I nodded my head. "That's why I am here actually. Kyle wanted to come here but he was afraid to come alone. You mind if I stay here while you guys have your meeting?"
"Like these guys will mind having a handsome guy in our meeting," Billy laughed out. "So, Ryan is coming out today also?"
"No, why?" I asked him quizzically but he just nodded his head behind me. I turned around and saw Ryan standing by the doorway. He looked very nervous and hesitant as he looked around the room. Our eyes met when he looked at my direction.
I felt Billy pulling me towards Ryan as I continued to stare at him dumbfoundly. I knew he was gay since last night but it still hasn't sunk to my head yet. Maybe because if I accepted the fact that he was gay then it would mean that he didn't like me one bit. There were a lot of times we could have ended up together but he ended up with Kyle instead.
"You wanna join the group also?" Billy asked Ryan. "Your boyfriend is already here?" Billy pointed over to Kyle who was giving us this funny look.
"Billy!" I hissed out at him as I elbowed him. Then I looked a Ryan and smiled at him. "Anything we can help you with Ryan?"
"I..thought you weren't a member of the QC," Ryan asked me in a stutter.
"I wish Jason was a member," Billy laughed out loudly. "He's just accompanying your boyfriend Kyle."
"Kyle?" Ryan looked over at Kyle as he blushed deeply. "He's not my boyfriend. I mean we're not together like that."
"But you were with him last night," I blurted out before I could stop myself. That made Ryan blush in embarrassment.
"I.... I was drunk and I didn't really know what I was doing," Ryan was sort of dancing as he fidgeted around. "That's why I am here. To find out more about being...gay."
There. Now it's official. Ryan is gay. And he's not interested in someone like me. He's probably more interested in a jock-type guy like Kyle. One night with Kyle and he decided to be gay. Maybe I should have put the moves on him a long time ago. But that wasn't my style. I need someone who's more than just a lover but someone that could be my best friend also.
*************** To be continued ***************
Note: I'm not really sure whether to make Jason and Ryan a couple or not. I know it was the way the story was going but in reality life sucks and Ryan and Jason won't end up together.
Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com