************** If I let You Go 14 **************
*********** Ryan's POV ***********
I was watching Jason as he was reading a thick book. We were in the council office alone and we both had an exam in a couple of hours. We just had lunch together earlier. We had been eating lunch and dinner together regularly for some weeks now.
I'd like to think that we had gotten closer this past few weeks. We have been spending a lot of time together and some of my friends are now teasing us. I couldn't help but smile every time they ask if Jason was my boyfriend. I just wish that I could answer them in the affirmative.
I had thought about telling Jason how I feel a few times but I couldn't help but think how good he and Lisa look together. I get jealous every time I see them together. Jason seems to be really close to Lisa and I can't help but think that he has the hots for her. If only I could be sure that he feels something for me too. I don't know if I can take it if he tells me he doesn't feel anything for me.
"You alright Ryan?" Jason asked me as I finally broke out of my daydream.
"Huh?" I asked him stupidly.
"You've been looking at me for fifteen minutes now," Jason gave me a really sweet smile. "Do I have something on my face?"
"N-no, I...umm...sorry," I stammered out as I realized I got caught. "I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay Ryan," Jason laughed out as he gave me a wink. "You can look at me anytime you want." I looked at him in surprise. Was Jason flirting with me or just joking around?
********* Jason's POV *********
You can look at me anytime you want. God! I can't believe I said that to him. Could I be more blatant? I'm just glad Ryan just laughed and didn't say anything else.
I handed my paper at the same time Lisa handed hers. We both got out of the room and talked about the exam for a while. We headed to the cafeteria of the building and bought some soda and burgers.
"Hey Jason," Lisa looked at me carefully as I took a bite out of my burger. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but what's the deal between you and Ryan?"
"Oh God!" I groaned out loudly as I gave her a frustrated look. "Don't tell me you believe all those stupid jokes you hear."
"Let's just say I'm---curious," Lisa gave me a crooked grin. "I tried to hook you up with a couple of my friends this past few weeks but you always say your busy and then I'll hear you were out with Ryan. What's up with that?"
"We just watch some movies together, no big deal," I shrugged my shoulder like it was unimportant.
"You look good together," Lisa said to my surprise.
"What?" I stared at her in disbelief. How could she say that so casually?
"I hanged out with you and Ryan before," Lisa replied back. "You guys look great together."
"I don't know whether to kill you or not," I shook my head at her.
"I'm just being honest," Lisa shrugged her shoulders at me. "Which is more I could say about you?"
"What does that suppose to mean?" I asked her defensively.
"Nothing," Lisa grinned at me weirdly. She nodded behind me. "Looks like Ryan's finished his exam also." I looked back and saw Ryan heading towards our table. I then looked back at Lisa and gave her a look. She just giggled as she started to eat her burger.
"Man! That was a hard one," Ryan groaned out as he sat down next to me. He grabbed my half-eaten burger and took a large bite.
"You probably aced that exam," I said to him positively.
"Just be glad this is the last day of classes," Lisa grinned at him. "So, what are your plans for the three weeks vacation?"
"Jason and I are going sailing with my brother next week," Ryan answered her. Lisa gave me a mischievous look as I blushed helplessly. Ryan looked at me and said, "We're still on, right?"
"Yeah," I quickly nodded at him. "Drake's already had his yacht checked and everything."
"Going down the Caribbean?" Lisa said in an almost teasing voice.
"I think we're going to be sailing up the New England coastline," Ryan answered Lisa.
"I'm sure you guys will have lots of fun together," Lisa giggled as she stood up. "I still have another exam in an hour so I'd better go." Lisa then left to my great relief.
"How did your exam go?" Ryan asked me as he grabbed my soda.
"It was a lot easier than I expected," I watch him drinking my soda. I was glad that we seem to have gotten really close these past few weeks. Sometimes, I can't help but feel that Ryan likes me that way but I was just too afraid to ask him what the deal is. I don't think I can take rejection that well.
"I don't think this is such a good idea Ryan," I looked at my friend nervously as we entered his grandfather's estate. It was almost Saturday night and somehow Ryan managed to convince me to attend the dinner party of his grandmother.
"Jack's going to be there," Ryan gave me a relaxed smile. "Besides, you'll charm my family like you do everyone else."
"So you're saying I'm a charming guy?" I asked him jokingly.
"You're the most charming guy I've ever met Jason," Ryan said to me in a serious tone. I looked at him weirdly but Ryan just parked the car in a huge garage. We both got out of the car and grabbed out bags and headed to the house.
A kindly old woman was waiting for us at the front door. Ryan dropped his bag and gave the old lady a huge hug and a kiss. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she was his grandmother.
"Nana, this is the friend I told you about, Jason Brooks" Ryan smiled at me as he had his arm around Nana. "Jason, this is my Nana."
"I'm pleased to meet you Jason," Nana smiled at me warmly. "How's your grandfather doing? It's been a long time since I last saw him."
"He's okay," I smiled at her uncomfortably. She must know by now about her husband's past with my grandfather yet she was still smiling at me warmly. "My mom says he works too hard though." We walked inside the huge house while we were talking.
"I hope you guys don't mind sharing a room," Nana gave me an almost conspiratorial look. "We're renovating right now."
"Is that okay with you Jason?" Ryan asked me nervously as he gave his grandmother a dirty look.
"It was a pretty long drive so I'll appreciate a soft bed," I smiled at them.
"The guest room has a pretty huge bed so you two will be comfortable sleeping on it," Nana then led us up the stairs and showed us the guestroom. I was very surprised to hear that the room will only have one bed. I assumed she's put us in a room with two beds at least.
"The others are resting in their rooms," Nana said as Ryan and me put our bags on the bed. "Dinner will be served in about two hours. Why don't you just rest for a while? Or maybe you'd like to show your friend around Ryan." Nana then left us alone.
"Sorry about this," Ryan smiled at me nervously. "I thought they'll have enough rooms for all of us. I didn't know that they were renovating."
"It's okay Ryan," I smiled back at him as I started to unpack. "I'm used to your loud snoring by now anyway."
"I do not snore that loudly," Ryan said indignantly as I laughed out loud.
********** Ryan's POV **********
"I used to climb this tree when I was just a kid," I said to Jason as he pushed me while I was sitting on a swing on the old oak tree. "I love spending my summers here with my cousins."
"You seem to have such a large family," Jason commented to me. "There's about twenty plus people here already and you said that half of your family isn't here yet."
"I told Nana about my sexuality," I suddenly blurted out to Jason after a pause in our conversation.
"Oh," Jason seemed to be really surprised by that. "How did she react?"
"I told her about it last week on the phone," I stopped the swing and looked up at Jason. I saw him looking down on me as he held the ropes of the swing with his hands. "She's very supportive of me."
"That's great to hear," Jason flashed me one of his sweet smiles.
"I wanted you to come here because I'm going to tell my mom when she arrives tomorrow," I whispered to him softly.
"I'll be here for you," Jason placed his hands on my shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. "She'll still love you no matter what."
"Thanks," I could feel his hand gently kneading my shoulders. It felt so good as he massaged my sore muscles a little. I closed my eyes and I could see myself lying on my stomach naked as Jason was sitting on my back, giving me a slow erotic back rub. All of a sudden, I felt Jason's hot breath on my ear. I opened my eyes and turned to look at him. My face was just an inch away from him. I could see the sparkle in his eyes and I could feel the hot breath on my skin.
"I think dinner's ready," Jason whispered to me. "Jack's coming this way with Drake." I looked at where Jason was looking and saw my stepbrother and his lover walking towards us. I could see the stupid grin on Jack's face even though he was a few meters away.
"Nana said that dinner's going to be served in fifteen minutes," Jack said as he and Drake joined us. He was giving me this wolfish grin as he winked at me teasingly. "Been showing Jason a good time Ryan?"
"Glad you two decided to wake up," I said sarcatically as I felt my face blushing a little bit.
"We both worked overtime last night," Drake groaned out as he decided not to join his boyfriend in teasing me. "Then Jack decided to just leave early so we could take an afternoon nap here."
"By the way," Drake added. "How about we all drive back to the city tomorrow morning so we could sail off for Boston by tomorrow afternoon? We could just spend the night in the yacht docked in a harbor somewhere."
"Sounds like a plan to me," Jason said as he touched my shoulders. "What do you think?"
"It's fine with me," I nodded my head at them. "Although when we reach Boston, we're going to be staying at the Drake. There's no way I'm spending a night in the yatch when I could be served hand and foot at the hotel."
"Looks like your boyfriend's being welcomed into the family already," I said to Jack jokingly as we watched Drake, Jason and some of our cousins playing pictionary.
"Your boyfriend is also charming everyone here Ryan," Jack said with a laugh.
"Jason's not my boyfriend," I hissed out at him as I turned beet-red again.
"But you want him to be your boyfriend," Jack pointed out to me. "And don't deny it. It's so obvious the way you look at him or touch him or talk to him."
"You don't know what you're talking about," I said to him lamely.
"He's pretty cute," Jack said as he nodded towards Jason. "And he's pretty damn funny too. Smart, intelligent, outgoing. Looks like you've founf yourself a keeper Ryan. If I were you, I'd be doing everything to make him mine. You'll just regret it later on if you don't even let him know how you feel about him. maybe he feels the same way about you too."
"You--think Jason likes me?" I asked him slowly.
"I'm not sure but he does treat you extra special," Jack winked at me again. Before I could say anything else, we got called to join in the game and I didn't give another thought to what Ryan said.
*********** Jason's POV ***********
"I had a great time," I said to Ryan as we were getting ready to sleep.
"Aren't you glad now I convinced you to come," Ryan smiled as me as he turned off the lamp. We both lay down on the bed on our backs. Ryan whispered to me, "I told you you'll be charming everyone. Even my grandfather thinks your such a great guy."
"Now it makes me feel bad that my family didn't treat you that well Ryan," I said to him a little hoarsely.
"They didn't treat me that badly Jason," I felt Ryan touch my arm gently. "Your cousin even sent me a card to thank me for coming to her wedding."
"I just wish they could see you the way I do," I sighed out a little frustratedly.
"And how do you see me?" Ryan asked me with trembling voice.
"You're a really great guy Ryan," I rolled to my side to face him. I found myself staring at his deep blue eyes. The faint moonlight was shining on his face and making him even more gorgeous than ever. "You're the most amazing guy I know. I just wish they'd see that."
"A lot of people think of me as just another stupid freshman back at the campus you know," Ryan said to me with a nervous laugh.
"Well, you always brighten my day so that's pretty amazing," I gently entwined my fingers with his. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and said softly, "Your smile always makes me realize just how great it is to be alive."
"Jason..." Ryan trailed off, not sure how to react to that line. It was probably the most romantic thing anyone ever said to him. Jack's words cameback to haunt him. I know I will always regret it if I don't work up the courage to tell Jason how I feel. Maybe Jason also likes me the same way I like him. Maybe he's just waiting for me to make the first move. Maybe---I should tell him right this second how I feel.
*************** To Be Continued ***************
Note: I was planning to make this the last chapter but I decided to break it into two parts. The next one is defintely the last. I'll have it posted ASAP.
Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com