All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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IF LOVE WERE ALL
by
Ritch Christopher
with literary enhancement by
Les Martin
Chapter Three
"WHAT, ME WORRY?"
On Friday evening, the night of the Browne's scheduled dinner with the Alford's, Charles, Liz, and their teenage son, Seth, Buddy asked to be excused from going out, much to Seth's dismay due to his one-sided crush on Buddy. But Buddy remembered his promise to young Toby, about a brotherly heart-to-heart concerning a thirteen year old's approach to puberty and the birds and the bees. Buddy was somewhat surprised when Marc announced that he wished to stay home and be with his big brother as well. Pretty darn unusual since Marc had not missed going out with Sandy on a Friday night in years. But then Buddy had no idea of what Sandy had told Marc that afternoon.
Ted had yet to tell Lisa about his choice not to attend their high school's 25th class reunion the following weekend, thus making it seem that Lisa was the only member of the Browne household who wasn't burdened with a dilemma. Ted was still bothered by his unexpected phone call from Rex Hastings, his old high school buddy and his one and only male sex partner.
Buddy's strange interlude at the Foxhole was something about which he could not talk to anyone, not even his best and straight friend, Clint. For nearly two months, three times a week, Marc had been dropping by to see Sandy and their miracle 'herb' garden and sharing half a rolled joint but just enough to bring about a mild "high" on him and on Sandy, to indulge in some form of sex, manual, oral, or intercourse. Marc considered himself a pro and had told no one about it, but this Friday evening with the parents gone to dinner, he wanted to hint a bit to Buddy about his sexual trysts and observe Buddy's reaction before he decided to reveal the whole story.
Toby had felt that Friday would never come. He couldn't wait to be alone with Buddy and find out more of what had happened to him while he was wrestling with Jimmy during wrestling practice. Tonight was Toby's night for his rite of passage. All the mysteries of growing up would be revealed to him by his older brother. whom Toby adored and loved with all his heart. He became angry upon learning that Marc would be home with them as well. That didn't fit in with his plans at all.
Buddy was to be the sounding board for his two younger brothers. Ever since the episode two months ago in the band room with Mr. Parsons, his band leader, Buddy had communicated very little with Scott and only then when other members of the band were present with the two of them. Buddy had done a lot of thinking of 'what-might-have-happened' with Scott, alone at night in his bed, while Scott had been having similar thoughts in his own bed, especially as he continued having solo sex in his bathroom rather than trying to coax his wife into breaking her new 'once a month rule'. Although it was a dangerous proposition and he didn't know how to make it happen, Scott was convinced that,if another occasion ever arose between Lonnie and him, he, Scott, would or could be a willing partner.
After Ted and Lisa left to go meet the Alford's for dinner. Buddy, Marc, and Toby had to wash and dry the pots, pans, and dinnerware from supper. 'No pizza for her boys on a Friday night', thought Lisa. She wouldn't have been able to sit down at a restaurant and enjoy her meal knowing she hadn't' prepared a well-balanced meal for her three sons at home. She had cooked a small pot roast, enough for three growing young men, and had submerged it in a sea of brown gravy filled with carrots, celery, onions, new potatoes, and water chestnuts.
It was still only eight o'clock, and the kitchen and dining room were clean and orderly, just the way their mom kept it, when Buddy asked if his two brothers would like to go catch a movie, or go to Blockbusters and rent a DVD, or maybe go to Dream Creme to get a sundae or a banana split. None of Buddy's suggestions appealed to Marc or Toby which frankly surprised Buddy. He knew he had a scheduled conversation with Toby, but what was Marc's excuse? First of all, Buddy was curious why Marc wanted to spend a Friday night at home without Sandy. Something was up and Buddy didn't know whether to confront Marc about it or leave him alone and concentrate on his younger sibling.
"You guys wanna watch TV then?" Buddy asked.
"Nah, nothing good's on, on Fridays," was Toby's reply.
"Not particularly," came from Marc.
"Then what?" Buddy asked, puzzled.
Almost simultaneously Marc and Toby said, "Buddy, can we talk?"
"Whoa, whoa!" Buddy replied, "one at a time..."
"Sorry," Marc said to Toby, "you go first, Tobe."
"No, why don't you?" Toby said, "maybe if you go first, then you can go see Sandy."
"Uh...I can't. Sandy's busy tonight."
"Doin' what?" Toby asked, "You two always do things together..."
"I...I just wanna stay home tonight," Marc said, rather abruptly. "Is that okay with you?"
Toby was still upset that he couldn't be alone with Buddy, but slowly he realized that Marc was going to be with them all night.
"Guys, is there anything you want to talk about that the three of us brothers can't talk about together?"
"What I have to say is very private," Marc replied.
"Then, there IS something troubling you?" Buddy asked.
"You can't say what it is in front of me because I'm just a kid," Toby said, his feelings were hurt a little. "You're only three years older than me."
"Well, what about you?" Marc retorted. "What do have to say to Buddy that you don't want ME to hear?"
"It...it's about something you wouldn't understand," Toby replied.
"Try me!"
"Come on, guys, I can't talk privately to both of you at once," Buddy said. "Toby, I already know what you want to say to me...and if you'll forgive me, just this once, Marc's probably had the same experience as you. He might be able to help you as much as I..."
"Hey, Toby, you just said it! Our ages are closer together than yours and Buddy's anyway. I've often wondered why you always go to him instead of me."
"Because you're a brain!...An egghead!" Toby snapped. "You don't show your feelings to me or listen to me the same as Buddy does."!
"Why don't you give me a chance and find out? Buddy said that I'd probably had the same thing happen to me...only, what is it?"
"All right, Bozo, if you wanna know...I'll tell you!" Toby said in a huff. "I...I had...I had a wet dream only I wasn't asleep? Isn't that right, Buddy?"
"Is that what's troubling you?" Marc asked, suppressing a grin. "There's nothing earth-shattering about that. Only if you were awake, it couldn't have been a wet dream. You can day dream but..."
"See, I knew you'd make fun of me."
"I'm not, Tobe, really. I'm just saying scientifically speaking..."
"I know, everything you say has to be scientific!" Toby remarked.
"Well, technically, wet dreams can better be explained scientifically."
"I'll bet you've never had one, Mr. Wizard!"
"Sure, I have...lots of them."
"Yeah, but not in front of the whole wrestling team with Jimmy Shriver on top of you! It got all over him as well as me."
"Good gosh, Tobe! When did this happen?" Marc said, trying to be sympathetic.
"Last week!"
"You had an orgasm and all your team mates saw it?"
"That's what the coach called it...an orgasm!"
"I'm curious. Have you asked any of your fellow wrestlers if the same thing had ever happened to them?"
"No...why?"
"Because it happens to lots of athletes in close-contact sports. It's normal and nothing you should worry about."
"Bull!"
"Toby, listen to Marc, he knows what he's talking about!" Buddy interjected.
Toby stopped to look at Marc in a different light. "Are you being serious?"
"Completely."
Marc suddenly became the tutor as Buddy looked on.
"Toby, did it only happen once?"
"That was enough!"
"How about here at the house? Have you had other orgasms?"
"No! I didn't even know what an orgasm was until last week at practice."
"Has dad ever talked to you about masturbation?" Marc asked.
Buddy interrupted and said, "Did he ever talk to YOU about it?"
Marc's face dropped and said, "No", weakly. "You...?"
"Nope, me neither," Buddy replied...and I'm nearly 20 years old."
"Why do you think he never discussed it with us, Buddy?"
"I've often wondered..."
"Guys...what is it?" Toby asked, a bit irritated from being left out of the conversation."
"You think we should tell him about it?" Marc asked Buddy, his eyes were focused on their younger brother. "You think dad will get mad at you and me?"
"I'm not sure...but mom would have a conniption. I doubt if she's ever even said the word out loud."
"You got that right!" Marc said.
"Guys, please!" Toby begged.
Ignoring Toby, temporarily, Marc asked Buddy, "When did you first learn about it?"
"I guess I was about thirteen, just about Toby's age."
"Did someone teach you or were you, you know, self-taught?"
"Just me by my lonesome..." Buddy said. "How about you?"
"The same, only I was twelve...the same age as Toby."
"BUDDY! MARC!" Toby screamed. "I still here in the same room with you. Why are you ignoring me?"
"Toby, we're not ignoring you. It's just that if Mom or Dad finds out we've said things to you that they don't want you to hear about, Buddy and I could get into a whole lot of trouble."
"Yeah, but if I'm old enough to have an orgasm, why can't anyone talk to me about it?"
"Toby's got a point," Buddy said.
"Finally! Somebody heard me!" Toby shouted.
With a surge of urgency, Marc said, "Toby, I know how important this is to you, but I just gotta talk with Buddy...privately. It'll only take a couple of minutes."
"But you said I could go first!" Toby said, raising his voice.
"I know I did, but this is something that can't wait. Can you give me a little slack?"
"What's it worth to you?"
"How much you want?"
"Ten bucks!"
"Man, you drive a hard bargain!"
"Ten bucks or I get to go first!"
"I'll pay you when I get my allowance tomorrow. Will that be okay?"
"Maybe, but I've got a witness. Buddy, did you hear him say he'd pay me ten bucks tomorrow?"
"Sure did."
"Okay," Toby replied. "Do you want me to leave the room or do you want to go some place else."
"We can go into my bedroom and you can stay where you are. It won't take long."
Toby sat back on the sofa and folded his arms in disgust, while Marc hustled Buddy upstairs to his bedroom. Once inside, Marc shut his door.
"Now, what's so all-fired important that it couldn't wait?" Buddy asked, sitting on the side of Marc's bed.
"Buddy...what do you know about....abortion?"
Buddy was taken off guard, never expecting his fifteen-year-old brother would ever utter such a word. "I know that unless it's performed by a professional, it's illegal and dangerous. Why the heck are you asking?"
"Well, you see, Sandy and..."
Marc couldn't get the words out before Buddy interrupted, "Oh, my God! Don't tell me that Sandy and you have..."
"'Fraid so," Marc say, lowering his head.
"When? Where?"
"I...I can't tell you all of it, because I could go to jail for some other stuff..."
"Damn, Marc, you could go to jail for statutory rape! You're fifteen and so is Sandy! Do Mom and Dad know about this?"
"Heck, no, or why would I be telling you?"
"Do Sandy's folks know?"
"Ixnay."
"Are you sure she's pregnant?"
"The stick turned blue..."
"God! Didn't either of you think about protection?"
"No...I'm afraid we were both a little high."
"High? High on what?"
"That's the part I don't want to tell you about."
"Drugs? You? YOU AND SANDY?"
"Ssh, keep your voice down. I don't want Toby to know anything about this."
"What's Sandy going to do, pretend she's got long-term influenza and stay in her room at home all covered up for nine months?"
"No, that's why we're considering abortion on the sly."
"Damn! Marc! I don't know what to say..."
"Did you ever come close to getting a girl pregnant...EVER?"
"No, Marc, I've never even been with a girl."
"Never?"
"Never."
"You mean you're a virgin? You mean I popped my cherry before you did?"
"I didn't say I was a virgin...I just said I've never been with a girl..."
"Good gosh, Buddy, are you telling me you're gay?"
"I...I don't know...maybe."
"But you've had sex with a guy? Is that what you mean?"
"Sorta..."
"Sorta?...For God's sake, don't tell me that you had sex with Seth Alford!"
"Why would you think that?"
"Wake up, big bro! Are you aware of the way he eyes your crotch every time he and his parents come over to see Mom and Dad? He's like an anorexic cannibal wanting to go on an eating binge!"
"You're insane! You think I'd run that risk and have his parents tell Mom and Dad after he had blabbed to Dr. and Mrs. Alford."
"Well, that's a relief," Marc said. "SO? WHO WAS IT THEN?"
"I...I don't know. I never saw his face..."
Marc began to laugh hysterically.
"What's so funny?"
"The three of us...you, me, and Toby downstairs. This is actually the first time that the three of us have been together to tell secrets and look at us! Just look at us! Toby got excited and shot off all over his buddy. I got Sandy pregnant after getting high on weed...and now, you say that you're gay and had sex with someone you never saw! Boy, won't Mom and Dad be surprised?"
"IF they live through it."
"Buddy, seriously, what do you think we ought to do? Well, what do you think 'I' should do. My problem is more pressing than yours or Toby's..."
"Tell that to Toby and see what he has to say..."
"What does Sandy want to do?"
"She was too scared at first, but now, I think she wants to have an abortion. I'm not sure how I can pay for it, but I promised her I would."
"Marc, there are many abortion clinics right here in Boston. If you can't afford to pay, some of 'em offer free abortions, but Sandy is underage and will have to prove that she has her parents' permission."
"I think Sandy and I would rather die than tell her folks."
"Well, an abortion is very serious. It can be life-threatening. It's not like going to the barber shop, sitting down in a chair, and having a 'little taken off on the sides.'"
"I know...I'm the brother with the scientific mind, remember?"
"Then, why the fuck didn't you use it?"
"Buddy, I've never heard you say the word, 'fuck' before."
"I can say 'fuck' and a lot more. You've got yourself into a heap of trouble."
"What about you? When you had sex with your mysterious partner, did you use precaution?"
"Actually, no..."
"Then how do you know that you don't have AIDS or something?"
"I...I don't know."
"Man! Calling the kettle black..."
"Okay, so I'm scared about myself, too. I was thinking about calling Dr. Alford and getting myself checked, but you know, just as well as I, that he'll call Dad or Mom and tell them..."
"Wow! We're both fucked!" Marc said, copying his older brother's use of the forbidden word.
"Marc, whatever you do, I think you HAVE to talk with Sandy's parents. There's something about trimesters, where you can't get an abortion after you've been pregnant longer than three months. How long has it been?"
"The first time was in August and this is October, so, two months, I guess."
"At least you still have time to figure out what to do before you make a drastic mistake."
From the foot of the stairs, Toby began to scream...."BUDDY! MARC! IT'S BEEN LONGER THAN A COUPLE OF MINUTES!"
"Damn!" Buddy uttered. "I almost forgot about Toby."
"What are you gonna say to him?"
"About his problem?"
"Yeah."
"I guess the two of us should go down and teach him how to masturbate. Heck, he's only twelve...might as well give him a head start so that he can fuck his life up the same as you and me."
"You gonna tell him or...demonstrate?"
"Hell, we might as well give him the whole nine yards. That's something we never got from Dad."
"You...you mean you're gonna jerk off in front of him?"
"No, I mean that the THREE of us are gonna jerk off together!"
"I can't believe this!"
"Believe it! If you can get naked in front of Sandy and show her how your penis works, you can certainly do the same thing in front of your own two brothers. Toby and I can't get pregnant, so I guess the two of us are safe."
"You're the one who likes boys, remember? How safe is Toby when he secretly crawls into your bed at night?"
"I've never touched Toby...and never will!"
"I'll bet if Mom and Dad find out that you're gay, that'll be the last time Toby gets to sleep with you!"
"They're not gonna know unless you tell them. How are they going to react when they learn they might become grandparents?"
"Buddy, PLEASE, don't tell them."
"I'll keep your secret, if you can keep mine. DEAL?"
"DEAL!"
"Now, how's Toby going to be able to keep his mouth shut if we show him how to jerk off?"
"We'll just have to trust him and make a bond between the three of us."
"Come on, Marc, let's go downstairs. In the meantime, see if you can get a hard-on before we get there!"
"I'll do my best..."
"BUDDY! MARC! COME ON, FOR GOSH SAKES!"
Marc followed Buddy out of the bedroom and down the stairs to teach their baby brother the miracle of masturbation.
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Having escaped unharmed by Fred and Sally at 'Andy Panda's', Scott still felt jittery about facing Kathy. He had no breath mints and was certain that Kathy would smell liquor on his breath and that would need an explanation. There was no alcohol at all at the Parsons' residence, not even a beer in the fridge. Kathy's mother died an alcoholic, and Kathy wanted no hard drink at her house. She particularly didn't want Skip or Bobby to ever see Scott or her take a drink.
Scott hustled his two offspring into the house, trying to avoid getting near his wife. He escorted Skip and Bobby into their room to watch TV before supper, closing their door when he left. If he could just make it to the bathroom, brush his teeth, and swirl a mouthful of Scope, maybe Kathy wouldn't notice and that might divert a quarrel. He brushed past his wife and headed down the hall when she stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Scott?" Kathy said, suspiciously.
"Yes?"
"Do I smell alcohol?"
"I don't know, do you?"
"I'm talking about your breath! Have you been drinking?"
It was too late for Scope to do its magic. Scott was caught and dreaded the impending confrontation.
"Maybe...but just one...one tiny little drink."
"Why, for God's sake? I thought we had a rule about that!"
"Kathy, that was YOUR rule, not mine."
"So now you're accusing me of making all the rules in the house! I thought we made the rules together, at least where the boys are concerned."
"Kathy, I'm not drunk. The boys have never smelled alcohol in their lives and I don't think they'll notice."
"You...uh...you want to talk about it?"
"Frankly, no!"
"There must be some reason for you to have a drink before coming home from work. Did you have a hard day or did something unusual happen?"
"No, Kathy...not 'A', 'B', or any of the above. I'm an adult, a husband, the father of two sons, and I think I should have the right to stop in a bar and have a drink without your permission."
"A bar, huh? I don't suppose you'd tell me if you stopped with another person to have a drink?"
"Oh, Jesus Christ, Kathy! I didn't stop with anyone. I didn't go there to MEET anyone. I went in the bar by myself, sat by myself, and left by myself! So if you're insinuating that I'm having an affair, rest assured---I'm not. If you need more drama in your life, why don't you set the Tivo to tape the daily soap operas to watch when you come home from the office?"
"Maybe you're not having an affair, but I think I just struck an open nerve when I asked you about it."
"Kathy, why on earth would you think I'm being unfaithful to you? Maybe I SHOULD have an affair since you no longer wish to make love any more."
"Oh, so now it's MY fault? We USED to make love. We have two boys to prove it!"
"That's NOT what I mean, Kathy! What about me and MY needs? I'm a male and..."
Kathy cut off his sentence before he could finish, "You have your magazines in the bathroom. I know because I bought them and placed them there."
"Is that all I can expect from you the rest of my life...the latest monthly edition of 'Playboy'?"
"Well, God knows you certainly need something to assist you. I know for sure you don't fantasize about me."
"Kathy, what happened to us? You're still young looking, you're pretty, and on occasion, very sexy. I've looked at myself in the mirror and thought maybe I was the problem. Maybe I didn't attract you any more. I haven't changed that much. My weight is about the same as it's always been."
"Scott, if men, especially you, were to carry a baby nine months and go into labor and suffer the most excruciating pain, you might get some idea why sex doesn't appeal to me any longer."
"Kathy, when a man or a woman shuts the bedroom door, so to speak, and locks out his partner, that's why more than fifty percent of marriages end in divorce!"
"So you want to divorce me?" Kathy asked, accusingly.
"No, I'm not saying that! I just want things between us to be like they were when we were first married."
"If you're waiting for that to happen, Scott, like the song says, 'Hit the road, Jack!'."
Scott had had a long tiring day with many upsetting incidents and didn't want to argue any further with Kathy. He turned away from her and proceeded into the bathroom to brush his teeth and gargle as he had planned before Kathy's confrontation. Next he went to the toilet to pee and looked down to see two new men's magazines still inside the plastic wrapper just as Kathy had placed them there when she came home from work. Scott scoffed at them for they represented his sex life or what might be his only sexual release as long as he remained faithful to his wife. He zipped up his fly and turned to the lavatory to wash his hands. He took a long look at himself in the mirror. It wasn't masculine pride or vanity, but Scott saw that he was still youthful and hadn't lost his good looks. He still had all his natural brown hair. He looked closer to see if he had developed premature crow's feet by his eyes and saw none. If he wanted to have an affair, someone could still find him attractive. But the startling thought which came to Scott's mind..."Would that 'someone' be female---or male?"
He hadn't forgotten the boner he'd felt when Lonnie got close to him in his office. All the way home from the bar, images of Clay Parsons had passed before his eyes and he became alarmed. As he faced himself in the mirror, more thoughts came to his mind. 'Lonnie could be gay. Lonnie might be attracted to him. The kid was over eighteen and of legal age. Would Lonnie run away if he approached him in a sexual manner? Was it worth a try or was it sheer stupidity?' Scott knew he could lose his job by making such a stupid mistake as hitting on one of his students...BUT if he and Lonnie were both willing and could keep their affair clandestine...? Scott scooped two handfuls of water onto his face to rinse away such thoughts. He dried his hands and face and went to the dining room, stopping by the boys' room to take them with him to dinner.
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God! Ted was bored at the restaurant. Lisa and Amy had blabbed incessantly about the bargains they'd seen and bought on their shopping spree. Charles' conversation with Ted was mostly about a lump he'd found in a patient's scrotum and how he had recommended that his patient pursue the same medical treatment as had Lance Armstrong, the famous bicyclist, also a victim of testicular cancer. Seth was disappointed that Buddy hadn't joined them for dinner, but his ears perked up when his dad began talking about penises and balls.
Ted seldom cursed or used four-letter words, but in his mind, one thought was raging, 'Goddamn it to mother-fucking-hell! Why the fuck did Rex have to call him?' That dark part of his life had been erased years ago, he thought. Rex had to have had an ulterior motive by calling him just two weeks before the reunion. Was Rex expecting another kind of reunion...one between the two of them?' Ted knew he mustn't go to meet with Rex...he COULDN'T go! But what the fuck reason could he give Lisa?
Ted looked at his plate, still filled with food. He hadn't eaten a bite while Lisa, Amy, Charles, and Seth were ready for dessert. Finally Lisa stopped talking long enough to notice Ted's plate.
"What's the matter, dear, was there something wrong with your food?"
"Er...no, I've been fighting a headache all day and I wasn't very hungry."
"When's the last time you had your blood pressure checked?" Charles asked.
"I...I don't think it's my blood pressure..."
"Just the same," Charles continued, "I think you should drop by the office the first of next week. You haven't had a physical exam in some time."
"Charles is right, dear," said Lisa, "you should get a physical before we go to the reunion next week. You just never know who might get in a romantic mood," she chirped. "Reunions ARE reunions, you know."
"My, what a lucky guy you are, Ted," joked Charles. "It sounds as if your wife has a special reunion of her own in mind."
"Oh, Charles..." Lisa gushed, dropping her head.
"Ted, just wait and see how Lisa looks in some of her sexy clothes she bought," Amy chimed in. "She's going to turn a lot of envious heads when they see her in that black number. 'Tres chic!', as they say in Paris."
"What about you, Ted? Did you buy yourself some fancy new duds?" Charles asked.
"No, my wardrobe seems to be sufficient for what I'll be doing next weekend."
"Ah, I bet you have a new pair of silk boxers to allure Lisa," Amy said.
"Oh, Amy! Ted doesn't need silk boxers to get me in a romantic mood..."
"Dans la nudité, mon petit?"
"Stop it, Amy, you're making me blush..."
"Au contraire, vous tous les deux devriez dormir dans la nudité."
"In case you're interested, Amy, I usually do."
"My word, Ted, you still remember your high school French. I'm impressed." Amy said.
"Vous devriez vous occuper de vos propres affaires, chienne!"
"I'm sorry, Ted, but I'm afraid I don't know how to translate that. What did you say?"
"Nothing important, I assure you, Amy. I...I was just showing off."
"Well, whatever you said, it sounded quite charming," Amy said, smiling.
Amy had no clue that Ted had told her to 'mind your own business, bitch'. But he returned her smile, cordially. Ted had just discovered a way to express his true feelings concerning these weekend soirées and get away with it. He must brush up on his French as soon as possible.
On the other hand, Seth had become fluent in French in high school and almost burst out with laughter at Ted's remark to his mother. But he decided to 'play it dumb' in case Ted should decide to use any more French phrases. However, hearing his idol's father speak French made Seth give a second look to Ted. Buddy and Ted could almost pass for brothers, not son and dad. Seth thought he might add Ted to his nightly fantasy repertoire. He instantly tried to imagine Ted avec ou sans silk boxer shorts and he sprang a boner. He needed to order dessert to give his hard-on time to subside.
"If you'll excuse me, I think I need to go to the men's room," Ted said, politely. Seth almost stood up to join him, but he was in no condition to stand at the moment.
"I'll go with you, Ted," Charles said.
Seth felt a stir of envy toward his dad. Charles would get to see what Seth longed to see...standing side by side with Ted at a urinal. But then, Seth's dad had seen Ted naked many times during doctor's visits and Seth envied his father even more. Damn! His dad had seen Buddy naked, too. God, what Seth would have given to be a fly on the wall at his dad's office!
Ted and Charles exited to the men's room and stood a urinal apart from each other to pee.
"Ted, do you really have a headache?"
"No, not really."
"Being your physician, I know how to read your moods and I can tell something is bothering you. Is it your business?"
"No, Charles, business is booming."
"Has it something to do with your boys?"
"No, no...they're fine...just the typical, 'My Three Sons' on TV.
"You...you're not having marital problems with Lisa, are you?"
"No, Lisa and I are fine. Nothing wrong there...until next week."
"The reunion?"
"You guessed it!"
"Uh oh, what's wrong...you can tell me."
"Charles, it's just that I don't want to go and I don't know how to back out without disappointing Lisa. She has her heart set on going...and I feel like I'm almost forced to go."
"Is there something or SOMEONE you don't want to see at the reunion?"
"You read me better than I gave you credit for, Charles."
"Then there IS someone?"
"I'm afraid so."
"But, good heavens, Ted, any romance you had in high school should have ended twenty-five years ago!"
"That's what I thought, too."
"Is it someone you've seen in the past twenty-five years, say, on the sly?"
"No, no, I haven't seen this person since graduation..."
"Then why are you worried."
"This...this 'someone' called me at my office earlier this week and hinted that we should get together for a 'private reunion'."
"Good Lord, is she insane to harbor a romantic feeling that never flourished in the first place...I mean, after all these years...?"
"That's the indication I received during our brief conversation."
"But you don't hold any feelings for her, do you?"
"Of course not!"
"Then I'd just forget it if I were you. I'd go with Lisa and have a good time. Who knows? You might sell a property or two."
"I...I don't want to go for two reasons, Charles. First, I don't want this person to make a scene in front of Lisa...and secondly...secondly...I...I don't know how I really DO feel about this person."
"Jesus! Ted! I'll bet she's bleached her hair blonde and gotten as flabby as Shelley Winters in, "The Poseidon Adventure". She probably can't get a man and she dreams of seducing you back to her."
"You may be right, but still, there IS a chance..."
"That's bullshit, Ted, and you know it. You're a happily married man with three sons. You're the epitome of what every man wants to be. You love Lisa and it's ridiculous to think you'd ever look at anyone else!"
"I know what you said is right, Charles, but I've still got a lot of thinking to do before I commit myself to this reunion."
"What the hell are you going to say to Lisa?"
"I don't know and that's what's killing me."
"Pal, just forget it! Don't give that someone a second thought. Go and make Lisa happy showing off her new duds. Make yourself happy, too. You'll be staying in a hotel suite, I presume. You could have a long-lost second honeymoon with your bride."
"Thanks, Charles, you've made things a lot clearer."
"You're welcome, but I still want you to come in Monday for your check up!"
"Oh, all right, DOCTOR Alford."
They left the men's room to return to their table.
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Rex Hastings sat alone in his New York apartment in his apartment where only a solo desk lamp helped to light the darkened room. In front of him on the desk were various objects he kept picking up, setting down, and then going on to the next one. Among the items were his wedding ring, a gold embossed picture frame containing an 8 x 10 color photo of his wife, Miriam, and their two sons, Brad and Kato, his high school annual which was turned to the senior picture page that showed Ted Browne as he was twenty-five years ago. In his left hand, he was holding Ted's class ring. He and Ted had exchanged rings in friendship on graduation night. In his right hand were several crinkled newspaper clippings and obituaries for his wife and two sons.
Miriam Hastings and the two boys, aged 12 and 14, had gone to visit her parents in Springfield, Illinois, four months earlier in June. It was a really a end-of-school vacation for the boys. Ted had remained in New York to continue working on his autumn ads, as he had a small NYC advertising agency which promoted small clothing store wares...much smaller than Macy's, Saks, and Lord and Taylor's. His family had only been gone to Illinois three days when he received a call from his mother-in-law, Maggie Turner, reporting the tragic news that Miriam, Brad, and Kato, had been shot and killed in a shopping mall by a robber whose bullets had struck down five innocent victims.
It seemed that Rex's entire world crumbled with one phone call. Rex had no other family. His parents died at early ages and Rex had no siblings. He and Miriam had been married for fifteen years at the time of her death. Being that his family was so young, neither he nor Miriam had ever thought about funeral insurance or grave plots. So Rex made the decision to fly to Springfield and bury his family near Miriam's birthplace where her parents still lived.
Miriam and the boys had all been shot in the chest or stomach areas and their faces were left unmarred, thus it was okay to have an open-casket viewing at the funeral parlor. The three bodies had already been embalmed and prepared by the time Rex arrived. He took a cab directly to the parlor from the airport where he met Maggie and Jeremy Turner, his in-laws, who were torn with grief.
It took every ounce of courage Rex could muster to go into the parlor to see his wife and sons laid out in coffins. The boys were too tall for children's caskets and there was about six or eight inches difference between a man and woman's, but the two young teens were put into two women's coffins to keep them from looking smaller.
Rex, followed by Maggie and Jeremy, walked up to Miriam's bier first and all the tears Rex had been holding back on the plane ride suddenly burst forth, as it became real to Rex that Miriam WAS dead. Rex leaned closer to Miriam's body and tried to hold her, kissing her on the cheeks and lips which were cold and hard. After staying there a few minutes, he realized he had two other horrors to face...Brad and Kato.
Brad was the older and looked more like Rex than did Kato, who had blonde hair like his mother, Miriam. Rex, still tear-ridden, looked at Brad first and saw that the funeral director had parted Brad's hair on the wrong side. Rex reached for his comb in his pocket and immediately began to recomb Brad's hair until it looked the way Brad always wore it. Kato appeared to be smiling. In life, he had been boisterous and full of spunk, always playing practical jokes on his older brother and especially on his dad.
Once Rex had seen all three corpses, he turned away from Kato and collapsed on the floor. Two funeral directors ran to assist Rex into a nearby chair while a third hurried with a cup of water and an ammonia inhalant. Ted slowly revived and sat there looking at the three metallic boxes before him. He refused to move or even leave when Maggie encouraged him to come home with them to eat dinner, take a warm shower, and lie down to relax a bit.
Rex wouldn't budge from the chair. He knew that the time he had left to be with his family was limited and he didn't want to spare a minute away from them. Fortunately, the funeral establishment had no rule against his staying late for they were open all night. Some time around 4:00 AM, Rex, exhausted, fell asleep in the chair.
Since none of Miriam's relatives or close friends lived outside of Springfield, it was decided not to have an extended wake. Miriam, Brad, and Kato would have a multiple funeral service in the parlor's chapel and be buried the following day.
Rex did manage to go to the Turner house to shower, shave, and put on a dark suit for the funeral. There were less than twenty-five mourners at the funeral since Miriam hadn't lived in Springfield in over fifteen years. She, like most of her high school peers, had gotten married shortly after graduation and moved to another city.
The funeral was short, simple, sweet, and sad for everyone who DID attend. Maggie and Jeremy had donated their cemetery plots to their daughter and grandsons. Miriam was lowered into her father's grave while the boys were buried one on top of the other in the deeper dug grave which had belonged to Maggie.
Rex was deeply depressed after the burial service and went back to the Turner home to grieve with Maggie and Jeremy. Later that same evening, he told his in-laws that he was going back to New York the next day. The Turners begged him to stay, but Rex wanted to be alone and so he took the 10:00 AM flight back to New York.
Once he was back in the big city, he found it difficult to return to his job. Nothing was important to him any more. He could care less about the fall ads or anything else for that matter. He didn't leave his apartment for a week. He didn't bathe, change his clothes, or eat a bite of food. He did finish off two bottles of scotch from his liquor cabinet.
The following week, he did go back to work, but his mind was not on work. All he could think about was his lost family and a huge cloud of guilt hung heavy over his head. Guilt, because in his heart he knew he'd never really loved Miriam as he should have. He had loved the boys with all his heart and soul, but he was certain he'd never truly loved his wife. He had married her vindictively after two or three failed gay relationships. the last of which was with a Broadway dancer, who was 'making it big' with many of his male chorus line dancers.
Rex's way of getting even was to show the dancer he wasn't needed in Rex's life. Rex was tired of gay jilts and wanted something permanent in his life. Miriam Turner was one of Rex's clients. Often she had flirted with Rex and always he had ignored her advances.
The night after his break-up with the dancer, he called Miriam and asked her to dinner. He dated her every night for a week and the following day, he took Miriam to the NYC court of records where they got a license and married on the spur of the moment. Miriam DID love Rex, but Rex was more interested in finding out the reaction of his dancing partner, who, as it turned out, didn't give a hoot in hell what Rex did.
A month later, playing the marriage charade, Miriam's first pregnancy was discovered and Brad was born nine months later. Rex was proud as punch over his son and went to work diligently to support his wife and son. Two years later, Kato was born. With a larger family, Rex worked to make his agency grow and soon it was highly successful, managing a lot of small accounts.
This was not to say that Rex was now heterosexual and wanted to live happily ever after in the straight world. He became interested in many young male clients with whom he took long lunches, late night dinners, or occasionally a quick weekend jaunt out of town to assess one of the new male clients' business...which actually meant he spent the entire weekend fucking and sucking.
As October approached, Rex's autumn campaigns were barely noticed due to his lack of interest, the result of the deaths of his family. His business suffered and he lost many accounts...some big ones. Four months has passed since the funerals and Rex had not desired to have one single fling with anyone. After work at night, he would pick up some take-out food and go home and sit alone in self-pity, only occasionally watching TV or opening his mail.
One night, however, a certain envelope caught his eye. He opened it to discover that his old high school was having a twenty-fifth class reunion and suddenly his thoughts strayed back to Ted Browne, his best buddy and the person he'd loved most in his life. He and Ted had had their first sex experience together when they were fifteen and it grew into a heavy romance by the time they were seniors in high school. He remembered graduation night when he and Ted had swapped class rings and wore them secretly. Only the engraved initials on the bands of the rings kept the secret.
During the middle of their senior year, rumors about Rex and Ted being gay began to circulate among their peers. So the two boys decided each to pick ONE girl to date on a steady basis to help conceal their relationship, particularly from their parents. Rex began to 'go steady' with Martha Eubanks, while Ted focused his attention on Patricia Norris. The rumors slowly dissipated and Rex and Ted often double-dated so that they could be alone when they took their perspective girlfriends home after a date.
Patricia, who was one petal short of being a wallflower, soon thought she was in love with Rex and began to tell her girlfriends about the wild sex she and Ted were having on the weekends. Patricia's lies got back to Rex via Martha and when Rex confronted Ted with the rumor, Ted, of course, denied it because it wasn't the truth. Only Rex didn't believe him. Graduation night was the final blow when Ted heard from Martha that Ted had rented a motel room for him and Patricia, hoping that Rex would rent one for them as well.
Rex was furious and instead of going to any of the all-night graduation parties, he claimed to be sick and took Martha home by 8:00 PM. Then he drove to the motel where Ted was supposedly having his 'all nighter with Patricia' and as soon as he saw Ted's car, he sped away and never called Ted again for the rest of the summer. If truth be known, Ted WAS at the motel, but also were five of Patricia's female classmates. Nothing sexual happened between Ted and Patricia that night...or any other night except in Patricia's fantasies.
The following morning when Ted called Rex's house, Rex refused to come to the phone. He told his mother, "If that's Ted, tell him I've moved and you don't have my new address." That was the last time the two best buddies ever spoke for twenty-five years until Rex had called Ted at his office to find out if he was coming to the class reunion.
After calling Ted, Rex was sitting at his desk mulling through his memories...with the annual, the obituaries, his wedding ring, and Ted's class ring. He wondered what it would be like to see Ted again. Would Ted have any feelings left for him after all the years they'd been separated? Was Ted the only person he'd ever really loved?
Rex had seen Vince Martino, one of his classmates, in New York about a year ago and Vince told him about Ted, his wife, their two boys, where he was and about his real estate business. Afterwards, Rex had called Holyfield information to get Ted's home and business phone numbers. That's how he came about calling Ted at his office.
Even though the conversation was brief and a bit curt at times, Rex had to admit he felt a rush of excitement when he heard Ted's voice. He had a sudden urge to go back twenty-five years and invite his old buddy to go to a movie and a pizza and then later to come back to his house for a night of wonderful sex, as they had experienced together so many times in their youth.
Rex knew that he must attend that reunion. He had to see Ted once again to find the answers to all the questions that bombarded his mind. Surely fate would make Ted be there too! Rex picked up the phone to make plane and hotel reservations for the affair. Rex smiled for the first time in five months.
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(To be continued in "If Love Were All" chapter four.)