If Only I Could 16
Ok first off let me get this out of the way I don't know the BSB, NSync and Britney spears or any other celebrities, this story is complete FICTION. Well I managed to get one more chapter here finished before the big move sunny Phoenix. And the first chapter on my new laptop Yahoo!.I hope your guys enjoy Keep up the comments. Just want a give a thanks to Ry, Allen, Ray, Kyriel. thanks for the support.
Lance's POV
I watched Caleb dancing with Kevin he looked so happy. Maybe I am being biased I was happy ecstatic that he was alive and here in my life. Even though I knew I was breaking Logan's heart. I know logan said to go to him but I can tell that this is hurting him and for that I feel bad. This has got to be tearing him up inside. I need to talk to him I see him sitting with Joey and Josh over in the corner. I need to talk to him, best time to do it is now especially since Caleb is with Kevin It will be easier, knowing Caleb is distracted. I slowly approach the table not sure what to do. Josh sees me coming over first and I see him tap Joey. Joey looks up he looks a little sad but he smiles at me Logan is off looking in the opposite direction. I look to see who he is looking at. I see he is watching Caleb and Kevin on the Dance floor. Joey nods to Logan and he turns around. He tries to be happy my putting on a weak smile but I know he is hurting. I smile back and grab the chair next to him sitting down.
"Logan could we talk for a minute"
"Sure" although he seemed nervous
"Hey Joey lets grab a drink" Josh said
"yeah sure you want anything Logan?"
"No thanks Joey I'm good" Joey just looked at me I shook my head and he and Josh left the table
"He's even more attractive in person his picture really doesn't do him justice."
"Yeah he is but I want to talk about you and I if that's ok"
"Ok"
"I'm sure you figured it out, so I won't be demeaning to you. Caleb and I are back together and I asked him to marry me. He said yes we are going to get married in a month. I'm sorry Logan, I never wanted to hurt you. I do have feeling for you.."
"But you are in love with him I know Jimmy, I knew from the start you never stopped loving him. I must admit I am no happy. I really fell hard for you Jimmy . I fell big time. I must admit it is some what easier knowing I lost you to a real person. I don't think I could have handled losing you to a ghost."
"I'm not sure I understand"
"I'm not sure I understand it either. It just seems easier to be easier to know I lost to someone that actually is alive, he's human and alive able to make mistake. , but with a ghost I would be competing with a memory with a perfect image. At least this way I can actually judge and see for myself what it is about him you love."
"I still feel like I lead you on"
"You did nothing Jimmy, I don't bare any hard felling towards you and I want you to be happy. I can see Caleb makes you happy."
"I am fortunate to have known you Logan , you will always hold a special spot in my heart that's not even Caleb will have. I hank you for that love and for the knowledge that comes with it. I can know see clearly what Caleb feels about AJ and I know that I shouldn't be jealous of him and AJ."
"I am glad of that Jimmy, you have a special place in hear" he placed his hand over his heart I could see a few stray hears in his eyes but they refused to fall I reached up and brushed his cheek he grinned.
"I hope you understand that I won't be able to see you for a while Jimmy, its too hard to fresh I need some space. I would like to be friends with you but I think it might be too soon right know" "
"I understand Logan I do, again I sorry. I hope you enjoy the rest of the wedding and I hope you know you are welcome here , everybody likes you for who you are and not just for the fact that we were dating"
"Thank you I appreciate that"
I heard the music end and the applause start I slowly rose form the chair. "I better go."
"Yeah" he looked down I slowly made my way back to the dance floor. Caleb was still taking to Kevin with his ask to me. I slowly approach and reached up and stroke the nape of his neck. I felt him tense for the initial contact then melt into the touch. Good to know that I still ad it .
"I better leave you too love birds alone" Kevin grinned slapping me on the back as he left. " Congrats Lance"
"Thanks"
Caleb spun around and smiled at me "there you are. I thought that we were not going to let each other out of our site."
"Well I had to do something"
"Yes and you had Kevin keep me company thank you" he reached up and kissed my cheek"
"You know"
"Of course I do I know your heart very well James. Logan was lucky to have known you he seems like a nice guy I have heard many great things from the others about him. I really have to thank him for keeping you safe."
"He's a great guy." I smiled
"You love him don't you"
"Well, umm..." I didn't know how to say that without hurting Caleb's feelings I didn't want him to get upset. I love him very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him not Logan.
"James its okay you love him, I know I don't love that idea that someone else has a bit of your heart. I wanted it all to myself. I guess I am feeling a bit of what you feel in regards to AJ and now Joey as well."
I smiled "Well I think your still one p on me maybe I should go find someone else do we will be even"
"No, we won't thanks you very much you are mine and I am not letting you out of my sight" He pulled me by my suit collar and spoke this in my face. He wasn't mad he had this mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Oh okay so maybe someone's a little possessive"
"yes I am when it comes to you"
"Good I am glad to hear it"
"So how did it go with Logan"
"Ok I guess"
"You guess?"
"He took it well but I don't know he seemed strained"
"Well it's probably going to take time. Do you need time its ok if you do, I will wait for you. We don't need to get married in a month if you don't want too."
"Don't even think about it, we are getting married in a month and that's all that there is to that"
"Yes sir" Caleb was smiling and gave me a salute, he is so childish at times that's why I love him so much. He makes me laugh and makes my life so complete. Here I stand before the man I love just mesmerized by him. He is giving me that slight smile, the one that tells me he is up to something.
"So what are you up to" I say as I grab him into be and begin swaying to the music that is playing
"Absolutely nothing"
"Uh, uh then don't tell me"
He waged his eyebrows " So tell me Mr. Bass have you decided on a best man yet"
"Maybe" I smirked. He just got this look on his face he was pouting cause I wasn't going to tell him. He is so adorable at times.
"Yes honey, I am going to ask Josh"
"Really!"
"Why you don't want me to choose Josh"
"Well I would have thought you might have chosen Justin, after the last couple of months." He paused " I have been talking to people"
I blushed he was busy. He obviously heard about everything. Caleb reached up and taped my cheek. "My my what a little bad boy you have been" He smirked "I love you even more now" I was about to speak when I felt someone touch my shoulder I could see Caleb's eyes twinkle.
"May I cut in"
"Certainly" I turned around only to be sidestepped and have Caleb swept away from me. I laughed.
Caleb's POV
I was laughing the look on James's face was priceless. Meanwhile I was swept away from him and onto the Dance floor.
"You Know he thought you meant him"
"Well He shouldn't assume, should he"
The music started and we both laughed "I believe that they planned this song"
"Probably"
"so why would you want to dance with little old me"
"I have never danced with a Dead man before"
I smiled "well I have never danced with a pop Queen"
"really she smiled"
"I won't tell James that you called him a Queen"
She just smiled and laughed "You dance diven;y"
"Are you flirting with me"
"Maybe"
"Oh why do you have to be gay"
"Why must you be a women"
We laughed as we continued to waltz around the room. All eyes were on us smiling and awing. We twisted and turned about the dance floor surprising everyone. I saw James watching and winking, he was having a conversation with Rosie and was enjoying himself although he wanted me to come over to him. I could see it in his eyes. As he watched me and spoke with Rosie.
"You know its considered bad manners to ignore your dance partner."
"I didn't think it was possible to ignore you Mrs. Ritchie, besides James looks like he needs me"
"Oh Rosie just probably wants an interview with both of you"
"Was this a setup" she just wagged her eyebrows
"Actually I think it is a good idea and I trust Rosie"
"Well then lets tell them. As soon as the song is over I like this its one of my favorites I could never get James to dance to A waltz for Che and Eva. He uncomfortable with this style of dancing."
"Really, well I hope he changes his mind after seeing you. You dance quite well."
The song ended and I made my way over to James Hopefully without incident and not to be accosted by any one else. This night was going so well. I was silently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Although deep down I knew it wouldn't I had so much to thin about The interview I was planning on accepting and the wedding. Things were looking good.
"So sexy, miss me"
"Always but I could see you at all times, you danced wonderfully but I think your dance partner did most of the work."
"Excuse me"
"I believe your Fiancé was doing more then I was" Madonna answered.
"Thank you," I gave James a raspberry "So Rosie you want an interview"
"Yes" she was smiling form ear to ear
"Hey I thought" James interrupted
"Its ok James I agree but it has to be done in one week, plus you both have to come to our wedding. Deal" I reached out my hand to shake hers.
Rosie smiled and shook my hand "Deal I will talk to you on Monday and set everything up"
"But" James interrupted I just smiled and leaned forward and whispered "I feel like some wine tonight hunny, what do think about that"
"Umm well" he began pulling at his collar as I called over the waiter and took a glass of wine from his tray. Rosie and Madonna watched with interest as James became flushed as I downed the glass and grabbed another before the waiter left.
"Come James lets go mingle I said pulling him away"
"What was that all about"
"Not sure Mo, but I definitely want the scoop on that"
I was pulling James around the hall until I noticed a bunch of the guys at one of the tables laughing and having a good time. They seemed to be teasing Nick as he was making his way around the hall. I noticed Lily sitting with them joining in, she seemed very chummy with Howie, I wonder. I turned to James who was still flushed watching me I smiled and pulled him closer. "I'm sorry, I wanted to do the interview and the faster we do it the faster we get it out of the way . If you want we can both go back and tell Rosie to wait until after the wedding"
"Really"
"Really" I smiled "whatever you want"
"Well I was just worried about you"
"How sweet" I downed the rest of the other glass and pulled him to me and kissed him deeply pulling Him tighter against myself. I was breathing in his musky scent as I probed my tongue deep into his throat. He was submitting more and more to me. I think I drank that wine to fast . I heard someone clear their throat. I pulled away to see Justin and Nick standing there. Nick had reached down and was holding my glass he pointed at me and stared at me then staring at the glass. I just smiled like the cat that ate the canary. "Hey can you get me some more, Son" Nick just looked at James as if he was waiting for permission
"Bring him a Bottle" James was still breathing heavy, as he sat down at the table pulling me with him. I can't believe it. Nick was waiting for James permission. Justin grinned and began to sing to the table
" Lance is going to get some" those not paying attention looked up and laughed. All except Howie and Lily I noticed they were talking animatedly amongst each other.
"I can't believe my own son needed permission from my Fiancé"
"Hey I know who wears the pants" he responded
"I ought to" I tried t make a grab for him in joking, but James had me securely in his lap, allowing Nick to head off to the bar. Apparently Lily and Howie had rejoined out conversation because they were laughing at Nicks comment.
"What are you too up to You were very quiet there awful chummy"
"Never you mind"
"uh uh I know both of you and I know what your both like when you trying to get some" The whole table went silent James slapped me as both Howie and Lily were blushing deeply further incriminating each other. Everyone was stunned and Lily was getting more upset. I never thought she would take it so seriously after all the times that she has tormented me. I was feeling bad, Howie was beginning to look angered now that Lily was upset. This must serious. I was an ass and I need to set this right.
"Lily, Howie I'm sorry for being so crass. It was only my intention to joke with you guys I didn't mean to hurt either of you which is evident that I did. I am sorry an I am a total ass for doing that." James was rubbing my back letting me know that he was happy and proud of me. Still no-one said anything Howie didn't look as pissed though.
"I appreciate your apology and accept it" Howie spoke
"Thanks" but Lily hadn't said anything. Oh well I jut hung my head I removed James hand from my waist and rose from the seat. I probably should get some space see what's Keeping Nicky at the Bar. Not the smartest thing to do but what the hell. I walked away leaving James and the others watching. I had only made it half way when I saw Nicky heading towards me with a full bottle. "Hey C couldn't wait huh, Lance send you over he must be horny"
"No actually I'm an ass and grabbed the bottle chugging about half of it before Nick pulled it away.
"Ok what happened I have been only gone like 10minutes"
"I am an ass"
"I believe you said that but I need more to go on, Come on lets go chat"
"Humph" I just followed as we made our way outside to the garden. "You should be with Mel"
"I am where I should be , Mel would be pissed if I let you just wonder off and get drunk. Hey your my responsibility now as well. It's official were family" He had this goofy grin you couldn't help but laugh at him.
"That's better now what did you do"
"Well apparently Howie and Lily are getting friendly."
"Yeah I noticed that too.." I just nodded
"Anyway I made a comment that they were looking a little too chummy, you know teasing, but it came out wrong , and It upset Lily and then it upset Howie. He really likes her. I apologized but lily didn't say anything"
"What is this I am back one day and already fucking up, why do I bother. God you guys were better when I .."
"Don't finish that's sentence"
"But"
"Don't! That's bullshit so you said something that offended someone the hell with it, you apologized and explained yourself and if they don't accept it then screw them . Now come on and lets get you back to Lance and then I will give you the wine back. I'll get you drunk for sex but not to drown your sorrows."
"Nicky you're a married man"
"You know what I meant you mook"
"I know lets go then shall we." We got up and made our way back to the table arm in arm with Nicky carrying the bottle. I looked over at the table and noted the pensive look on James face . He lightened up when he saw me. I saw lily looking a little pensive as well.
"Did you see that"
"See what Nick"
"Lance, he was so, I don't know pensive maybe" I laughed
"What"
"Nothing continue"
"Well then he saw you and it just left, like someone lifted something. Have you every noticed how he looks when he sees you."
"A little"
"Well you get the same way. He loves you and it shows. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you but I am so glad you were able to be here today"
"When did you get so wise?"
"Good teacher"
By this time we were back at the table and Lily came over to talk to me.
"JJ, I mean.."
"I know"
"Can we talk?"
"Yeah" I turned away with Lily, walking over little from the table from the prying ears.
"Look I am sorry"
"I know I want to apologize I should have known you were joking, and I should have accepted your apology, Its just that I really like Howie I like him a lot and I think eh likes me"
"He does Lily, and I shouldn't have teased you around people you don't know and in front of one who you really liked."
"Ok lets just say we both messed up"
"Ok agreed." I began to wipe my brow feeling little light headed who I think the wine has caught up with me
"Caleb you are so flushed what is up"
I started to feel very warm, I looked over at James he had the bottle wine. I licked my lips and he saw me.
"Excuse me Lily I think James need me."
"What?"
At the table
"I think there ok" Justin mentioned
"Well I think that Caleb is feeling no pain" Howie mentioned
"Well no doubt. He drank half the bottle all ready" Lance laughed
"Ohh Lance buddy some one is getting some" Josh laughed and high fived Lance
"Why do you think I told Nick to get him a bottle" Lance laughed
"Um Lance he is heading this way he's got that's look in his eyes" Nick motioned.
"Someone else better watched him cause I need to get back to Mel"
"No problem Nick we will keep an eye out" Howie said he stood up and grabbed Nick in a hug.
"Congrats."
"Thanks man" Josh got up and gave Nick hug as well "Yeah man you guys make a great couple" with that Nick turned and headed toward the other side of the Hall to find Mel.
"Hey Caleb how are things?" Justin asked
Caleb POV
I heard James talk but that didn't matter I straddled him in the chair and grabbed the wine bottle finished it off licking my lips. I then pulled him into a deep passionate kiss grinding my self into him. I was invading his mouth with my tongue. I Could feel James getting hard and he was panting and moaning into the kiss.
"Umm Caleb I want to ask you something"
"Caleb"
"Caleb"
I pulled away and looked at Howie, "What Howie?"
"Um well Lily and I were talking about your wedding and I would like to have the reception at my club"
"Oh wow"
"Yeah please let me do this for you guys"
"Um sure , James what do you think."
James turned himself around and looked at Howie. "That would be great Howie if your sure."
"Oh yes please let me"
"Sure I agree with Caleb"
"Well now that is settled. I think I have something to get back to" I turned Lance's head around and started to pull him towards me when I felt this tiny tug on my Tux.
"Uncle Jake Uncle Jake"
"Hey Jake my man how are you" I turned around and pulled up Jake, he was getting big he was almost 7 and I sat him on my lap. I could hear James groan since I was sitting still across is lap.
"I am so happy you are ok" He spoke in Creole
"English" I said
"Ok, me practicing , me getting good with my engrish"
"Yeah you are buddy."
"I missed you like I miss mommy and daddy" My heart still lurched at that thought. Poor Thomas and Adel dead it wasn't that long ago but it feels like a lifetime ago. I could feel some tears in my eyes.
"Its ok uncle Jacob, I cry sometimes too Nana says it ok"
"where is your Nana"
"She's right here silly" I turned and saw Mary standing there smiling she was crying. She was a site for sore eyes but she looked so old now so old and tired. I stood up leaving Jake on James lap and pulled her into a Hug"
"I knew " she cried "I knew God would not take both my boys form me"
"Oh Mary"
"Nana did you ask yet huh"
"Jake silence boy"
"what?" I asked. I looked at James and he looked perplexed he had no idea
"Nana is going to ask if I can come live with You and Uncle Lance for ever an ever." he was smiling, "I get to live here in America"
I turned to Mary and saw here face it was true " I'm sorry I wanted to ask you I don't want you to feel imposed, I'm getting old Sweetie and I can take care of Jake like I could he deserves better . I don't want to impose but there is one else"
"Of.." I was about to answer when I realized I couldn't make that life altering decision like I did with Mel. This involved Lance he was sharing my life and this would effect him as well. I turned to Lance and he was still holding Jake who had his little finger cross and his eyes scrunched like he was trying very hard to wish.
"Of course we will Mary, We wouldn't have it another way"
"Yaehhh" Jake screamed . Everyone at the table was sitting there laughing.