If you could only see
Disclaimer: This story is purely Fiction, I don't know the Backstreet Boys, N'sync,or Britney Spears and I don't know their sexual orientation. If homosexuality offends you in then you shouldn't read trhis and you should leave. If you are too young to read this then please leave too.
2 years later:
"Kevin, sweetie, sit down, I can't believe how hyper you are"
"Alex he's coming today, and he's joining the tour as our head of medical staff, It's been so long I can't help it if I'm excited"
"Well Kev your going to have to calm down. We are also meeting N'Sync today, you know they will be joining us for part of this combined tour. Keep acting like this and they're going to think your psychotic" AJ laughed
"Alex, are we going to tell them about us?"
" I don't know we will have to take that as it comes and feel them out"
Bang, Bang, Bang
"Open up you sex fiends the competition will be here soon"
"Nick get lost"
"Open up or I come in. I have a key"
"What key?" inquired AJ
"Yours I stole it just in case we needed to get in and separate you"
AJ searched his pockets as Kevin watched with a skeptical look.
"You little bastard"
Kevin stared to laugh. Howie and Brian could be heard outside the door laughing as well.
"Uh Uh AJ my parents were married, so you going to open or do I come in"
AJ got up from the bed and open the door just as Nick started to place the key card in "I'll take that thank you" as he pulled the card from Nick's hand.
" Hey cuz what's up why are you fidgeting."
"Don't get him going B-rock I just got him somewhat settled down as it was."
"Hey Boo little excited about meeting the competition, got a crush on one of them huh" Nick teased. He only received a quick smack from Howie. "No Nick, God you are dense."
"God Kev it was joke I know whom you're excited about."
"Yeah Kev were all excited it's been so long ." Brian replied
Howie looked over to his best friend as he sat in the corner trying to hide his true feelings. 'I hope Kevin is too distracted otherwise he would see right through AJ' Howie thought himself. As the others were talking and teasing Kevin about his hyperactivity . Howie made his way over to AJ and whispered into his ear.
"J you better hid your true feelings cause I can see right through you. You are not happy that he is coming back. A word of advice you better get over this jealousy shit fast or its going to cause problems"
Howie quickly turned around and went back to the others like nothing had happened. Thankfully no one noticed cause AJ had a very shocked look on his face that would have lead to questions that he was not yet ready to answer.
In a Limo
"Come on tell me you love me. You know you love me! Everyone has to love me cause I am just sooooooo beautiful" Chris sang as he sat on the brunette's lap
"Get off me you crack baby!" Came the very disgruntled reply.
Chris quickly jumped back to his seat on the other side of the limo and began to pout sticking his lower lip out " Lannnnncce your boyfriend is being meant to meeeee".
Lance looked up from his papers to survey the limo. Josh was asleep, Justin and Joey were laughing at Chris's antic.
" Caleb leave Chris alone" Lance replied while Chris replied with a raspberry towards the lone figure in the corner of the limo. "Chris stop tormenting my boyfriend!"
Lance had hoped this would lighten Caleb's spirits , but no his boyfriend of the past two years sat staring out the window with a very pained and dark expression on his face. Lance sighed this had been Caleb's attitude the last two week. Ever since he agreed to go on this tour with him. Caleb usually never toured, preferring his job at the hospital. He was surprised and intrigued as to why it didn't take much pressure to get him to quit his job and take this one. Lance assumed it was because this tour would have him gone for an extended period of time, especially overseas. Lance however was beginning to wonder about Caleb's decision.
I sat in contemplation, barely recognizing that James had been speaking to me. I was lost deep in thought. ' This was a bad idea Caleb you should never have said yes to this, its only going to cause problems. James is going to find out I need to tell him about my past with AJ. I should have done it sooner, but I made a promise and won't out AJ without his permission.' It was the same rational he used to explain why he had not told the others about him and James. I noticed the limo slow down as we reached the hotel. My stomach began to knot as I sensed the impending doom approaching.
"Yeaaaa, We're here! time to meet the competition" Joey sarcastically replied.
"Come on guys be nice and give it a chance we don't even know them. Please give them the benefit of the doubt." Lance replied ever the peacemaker.
The limo stopped and the boys piled out. Thank God the fans hadn't figured out where they would be. None of them wanted to deal with fans at this particular time. Lance went off to gather their room keys.
"C what's wrong dude, you have been so out of it lately" Joey whispered in my ear.
" Sorry Joe just stuff on my mind"
"Gotcha. Worried about how the other guys will respond to you and Lance being together" Josh spoke to the group
"Yeah that it isn't Cal." Justin added.
"Yeah guys basically that's it" I solemnly responded.
"Don't worry about them if they don't like it, we will just have to kick their asses" came Chris's hyper response while dancing around shadow boxing. Caleb had to smile at Chris's general hyperactivity.
" Chris what the hell are you doing" came Lance's reply.
" Oh nothing just cheering up the old Bf for yah" Lance smiled when he noticed the grin on Caleb's face.
"Well guys got our room assignments and I just called Kevin to let him know we are on our way up. They are in his room waiting for us. So let's go and get this over with ok."
The group made their way to the elevator. On the way Lance whispered a soft thank you in Chris's ears and pointed to Caleb Chris smirked and nodded. I made my way to the back of the elevator and found Lance next to me. I took Lance's hand when the door closed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Lance just smiled. 'God I love his smile I hope he will understand' I thought to himself.
In the Backstreet boy's room.
"Ok, bye Lance, see you in a few". Kevin hung up his cell phone. "They are on there way up guys. Are you ready? lets get this over so we can meet with Caleb later and catch up on old times."
"God Kevin you are even more hyper then me" came Nick's reply as he sat in front of the TV playing Nintendo with AJ.
"Shut up little boy no one could ever be as hyper as you, freak."
"I don't know Kev your giving him a run for his money."
"Hey!" Came Nick's and Kevin's reply, both not sure which one was being insulted .
Knock, Knock , Knock
Howie got up to answer the door and was met with five faces looking back at him. Caleb had hung back around the corner delaying the inevitable.
" Come on in guy's grab a seat we were just chillin"
The guys made their way into the room. The boys were too busy introducing each other to notice that one of their number was not immediately with them. In the same regards the Backstreet Boy's didn't notice Caleb slide into the room. Caleb surveyed the area taking in everyone and enjoying the moment of silence before all hell broke lose. That moment didn't last long.
"CALEB!!!!!!!!!" came a load roar .
Caleb turned towards the voice only to be met by the flying body of Kevin propelling itself at him from off the top of the couch
It was truly a sight to behold, the boys including AJ were laughing while the NSync guys were awe struck. Kevin the responsible one, the one everyone thought was so serious was perched on Caleb's chest laughing hysterically.
"Get off me you big Dork you weigh a ton."
"I do not weigh a ton, and I will not get off ." With that said Kevin began bouncing on Caleb's chest.
"That's it you asked for it." Before Kevin knew what was happening Caleb had arched his back and managed to wrap his legs around Kevin head and flip him on his back. Once he was upright he pinned Kevin shoulders with his knees and brought his fist down to Kevin's right side. He stopped before he connected. Kev had a similar idea and brought his fist to Caleb's right side.
" Looks like we have a draw Boo unless you want a kidney punch " Caleb laughed. Kevin was still smiling
"I don't know who do you think is faster Huh" Kevin asked.
I leaned Forward brushing Kevin cheek and whispered, "Well I am of course, unless it comes to sex, then you always cum fast" Kevin began to roar with laughter and Caleb lost his strength and laid on Kevin laughing as well.
Brian couldn't control his laughter and his next statement would change all their lives forever. "So AJ does it make you Randy seeing both your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend rolling around on the floor all sweaty".
The air seemed to be sucked completely out of the room. Literally you could hear a pin drop. The boys were looking from Kevin and Caleb to the N'Sync guys, while N'Sync were looking from Caleb to AJ.
"Fuck" I muffled response .
I turned to catch James's face but I was too late. I only saw the retreating back of my boyfriend as he ran crying from the room.
"Oh shit" Brian spoke "Sorry guys didn't mean to do that, I'm really, really sorry"
"Brian shut-up" came a reply from Kevin who was know getting up from the floor.
Nick looked toward Caleb putting the pieces together. "You and Lance?" He got no reply from me because I was already out the door chasing after my boyfriend.
Kevin walked towards AJ and took his hand and led him to the nearby chair and sat placing AJ in his lap.
" I think you guys should sit down Its obvious that we need to talk" Kevin responded.
In Caleb and Lance's room.
"Open the dam door James and talk to me!"
"Get lost I have nothing to talk to you about!"
"If you don't come out of that bathroom I will come in!"
"I'd like to see you try"
Lance knew he was pushing Caleb's buttons but he really didn't care he was hurt and wanted Caleb to feel hurt as well. Lance wasn't prepared for the rage; the bathroom door came flying open. Pieces of wood were sent splintering in all directions. Lance jumped back startled by the brute force that his boyfriend had just shown.
" I warned you, now we need to talk James"
"What do we need to talk about, the fact my boyfriend for the past two years has been hiding his past from me"
"Dam it James, I had my reasons, To tell you would have outed both Kevin and Zander." I caught my slip as soon as I uttered it
"Zander huh, Is that what you call him, Your still in love with him aren't you. Answer me Caleb. I SAID ANSWER ME!"
"Ask me no questions , I'll tell you no lies James" I responded as I turned my face to the floor
"Then I guess I have my answer. I knew something was up when you agreed to this job on tour so quickly." Lance's voice took on a cold tone, his eyes were blank.
"What do you mean? I took this to be with you"
"You lying bastard"
Lance reached back and punched Me . I fell back clutching my right eye. Things started to go in slow motion. Have you ever experienced rage before you now that feeling of pure adrenaline. I always wondered what people meant when they said they could only see red, it was at this point I know . I at this moment could only see red rage filling my eyes . I lunged for Lance pinning him to the wall using all my strength I began to lift Lance from the floor by his neck effectively strangling him .
Lance's face showed utter fear he had never seen this side of Caleb. He looked into the eyes of his boyfriend and saw nothing but darkness, it was like looking into the eyes of a stranger not the man he had loved for two years.
"CCCaleb" Lance chocked out.
That seemed to due the trick Caleb realized what he was doing and released Lance, allowing him to slide to the floor with a thump.
"Lance its over!"
I stormed out of the bathroom quickly grabbed my bags and left the room slamming the door behind me. My face still twisted in hate and rage.
Lance brought his hand to his face and began to sob 'its really over, I lost him' he thought to himself; while he rocked back and forth on the bathroom floor.
Back in Kevin and AJ's room
"So that's the whole story guys what do you think?" Nick threw out to the room.
"Well we are obviously ok with the gay thing after all with Caleb and Lance being together. Although I am worried about them, and why was this such a secret with Caleb. I know Lance and he is going to find this a betrayal of his trust" J.C. finished. The others in the group nodded agreeing with what J.C. had just spoken.
SLAM
"That does not sound good" stated Justin.
Before anyone else could say anything the door flew open and there stood Caleb with his bags in his hands and his face twisted in anger. Kevin explored the scene when something caught his attention; the beginning of bruise could easily be seen forming around Caleb's eye. 'Please God no' Kevin muttered to himself, fearing the truth, knowing well what Caleb's response would have been to being hit.
Caleb cut them to the chase
" Chris your moving in with Lance end of story; here's your key."
Justin sucked in air as he heard this, some of the Backstreet boys turned to Justin because of the response. Chris could sense the tone in Caleb's voice and wasn't about to argue.
"Ok dude here you go" handing Caleb his key.
Caleb quickly turned around and left the room. Saying nothing more.
"Oh God it's bad guys"
" No shit Justin, they just broke up I think its bad" Came Brian's reply
"You guys don't understand He never called him Lance, before in the two years we have known him." The other N'Sync guys nodded and they were surprised that AJ was nodding agreement as well.
"What" AJ responded " I do know the guy we did go out for 3 years and he never called me AJ unless he was truly upset and that came close to the end when we actually broke up."
Nick shuddered " I remember that fight" Howie softy agreed.
"Ok someone has to talk to them" Howie responded.
"I will talk to Caleb" came Kevin's response.
He was up out of his chair and to the door. No one even considered arguing. Joey Stood "I'll check on Lance." Joey had been the group protector always looking out for the others.
" If you don't mind I think I should talk with him." Joey stood staring at AJ mulling it over. " I don't know..."
"Please Joey I know I can help" 'I will also be able to know if Caleb is really in love with him or still in love with Kevin' AJ thought to himself
"Ok AJ go talk to Lance we will wait here."
Chris's Room
Kevin stood for a while outside the hotel room contemplating how he was going to fix this situation with Caleb and Lance. He didn't know much about what happened as Caleb hadn't elaborated when he burst in. 'I know a punch was thrown that much I am sure of by the look of Caleb's eye. What scares me is what Caleb did in response.' Kevin thought. Well only one way to know. Better go grab the bull by the horns. Kevin reached into his pocket and pulled out his master key card and allowed himself into the room. The only light in the room was that flooding in from the hallway.
"Caleb"
Kevin spoke softy into the darkness, he didn't get a reply, and but then again he really didn't expect one. His eyes were adjusting to the dim lighting so he decided to close the door: and walk further into the room. Good thing most hotel rooms are set up the same. He scanned the room allowing his eyes to adjust more to the darkness, in the far corner of the room on the floor sat a mass. Kevin quickly moved toward It. He assumed correct, the mass was Caleb sitting on the floor with his legs pulled to his chest and his head on his knees. Kevin finally noticed how cold his hands were, forgetting he was holding a towel filled with ice. Kevin kneeled down and spoke
" Caleb I brought you some ice for your eye, here take it" Kevin held out his hands.
I heard Kevin the moment he placed the card in the door. I had hoped he would leave when I didn't respond, I should have known better Kevin would never give up when one of his friends are in trouble. The next time I hear Kevin he is in front of, my eye is throbbing I really should take the ice. I might as well bite the bullet.
"Thank you Kevin" I lifted my head and reached out for the ice, holding it to my face
"God that feels good"
Kevin snickered and said nothing more just sat there in front of me, watching me. I would steal glances and then look back at the floor. Every so often I could tell he about to say something but stopped himself; He was trying to get his words right before he said it. I knew what he wanted to know that was one of the freaky things about our relationship. We could always figure out what the other was going to say. I always wondered if that was one of those freaky things you hear about people who undergo transplants. You know taking on traits of the donor person like liking certain foods and doing and acting like the other person did. I wonder if this is something like that. I didn't realize it but I had been playing with my medallion. It was something Kevin's mom made for me after the surgery.
It was a simple design there were two parts I had the first and Kevin had the second. She made us promise never to take them off for no reason whatsoever. I never did and I don't think Kevin ever did either. Mine was a thick gold incomplete hoop. Chris always teased me about it, told me it was a C is for cookie medallion. God he watches too much Sesame street. I never told him otherwise. Kevin's medallion consisted of a thick platinum hoop with a gold crescent in the middle. Anne told us it was supposed to represent that part of me I gave Kevin. Sentimental I know but I loved it and Anne became a mom to me after that day, better then the one that gave birth to me. I looked up and saw Kevin watching me he too was playing with his medallion. I knew for sure that no matter what Kevin and I would always be brothers.
"Go ahead, Kevin, ask"
"Umm what did you do to Lance, I mean after he hit you"
I sighed. " Nothing I stopped myself in time, Kevin the look in his eyes told me everything"
"What did you see"?
"Fear Kevin he feared me, for that matter I fear myself even after all these years I still succumb to it, why Kevin why?" I began to sob
Kevin reached out and hugged me " Caleb you will never escape from what was done to you as a child and you have to stop beating yourself up over it, Caleb it is just instinct to the situation no more. But don't you see you didn't let it take over you stopped your self and walked away, you beat it"
"I don't see it that way"
" Well I do and so will others, now what happened with Lance."
"It doesn't matter, its over he hates me"
"I don't think so, he just upset. What did he say?"
"Not much just shouted and told me I lied to him and that the only reason I came here was for AJ cause I never loved him and wanted to get back with AJ"
"Well who do you love?"
"Which who do you mean" I said with a slight smile.
"No games just answer" Kevin replied coolly
"Sorry, yes I love James with all my heart, and yes I love AJ he was my first and I never stopped loving him. I gave him up cause you guys were soul mates and were meant for each other. AJ will always hold a place in my heart that Lance can never have. But Kevin I don't want AJ back , cause Lance makes me so happy I could spend hours watching him sleep do you understand?"
"Yeah I watch AJ sleep every once and a while it's like holding a moment in your mind and having time stop. I know what you gave up for me and I never got to thank you. But you need to tell Lance everything. Why did you break off contact with us and not tell us about each other."
"Well I needed space from the situation it was too fresh. I had just met Lance that week and we stared to hang out more. To explain you guys would eventually lead to questions about AJ and then you. I vowed never to out you guys after all I just met them. As time went by when I thought I could tell. I realized had taken too long and they would have been mad about secrets I kept. To tell you would have meant outing Lance. Keeping secrets is hard and they always catch up with you."
"That they do my friend and I understand your reasons. I still think you're an idiot however; I have to appreciate your intentions."
"You know what they say about good intentions."
" I don't think that applies to you cause your already drivin the bus, honey"
With that comment I hit him over the head with my ice pack
"Do you feel better?"
"Good cause now we are going find Lance" Kevin reached out and pulled me up.
"No Kevin not now he doesn't want to see me"
"Too bad " and with that said he picked me up and threw me over his shoulders carrying me out of the room.
Lance's Room
"Lance, are you in here." AJ asked as he slowly made in way into the open doorway of the young singer's room.
"Yes, AJ can I help you with something" Lance replied from the bathroom
AJ was a little shocked, the response seemed quite calm, actually not what he expected from someone who had just broken up with they're boyfriend moments earlier. Lance appeared before him, apparently he had interrupted a conversation he was having with someone on the telephone.
" Yes, thank-you sir I truly feel sorry and quite stupid locking my key card in the bathroom, and I want to apologize again for the damage to the door. Please provide me with the bill and I will take care of it. Thank you again for your assistance, goodbye."
"What can I do for you AJ? Caleb took all his things if that is what you came looking for. I see it didn`t take long to fall back into each other, I feel sorry for Kevin!" Lance dryly responded
"WE ARE NOT TOGETHER! I came here to talk with you about Caleb I assumed you would be upset."
"Why would I be upset he has what he wants, namely you and I plan on moving on, I never truly loved him anyway."
AJ was beginning to doubt that Lance even loved Caleb. AJ began to look Lance up and down for signs that would betray his true feelings. He was unsure of what he was looking for. He did see something however that did startle him.
"Lance what happened to your neck"
"Nothing happened to my neck, you should leave AJ!"
AJ quickly moved towards lance and pulled him in front of the room mirror
"Fine Lance then explain these Bruises around your neck, huh Lance where did they come from."
Lance turned his face away from the mirror only to have AJ force it back " Answer me Lance"
"Caleb" Lance replied in a small voice, AJ could see the young blonde's reflection with the tears streaming down his face as he silently wept.
"This was after you punched him correct"
"Yeah, he told you."
"No, I saw the bruise forming when he came in to get Chris's key, he staying in Chris's room by the way."
"ddiid anyone eelse ssee itt." came the stuttered reply
"Well I'm not sure, but I can tell you that Kevin saw it for sure that much I know. Kevin went to talk to Caleb and I came to talk to you."
"Sorry AJ but I really don't think there is anything to talk about, he hates me. He told me it's over," Lance began to sob more "he called me Lance".
"Oh boy"
"He was like a man possessed I never in two years saw him so mad. He broke the bathroom door when I wouldn't let him in."
"I was wondering about that" AJ replied
"We argued about you and him never telling me, I told him that I believed the only reason he agreed to come was because he was still in love with you. When he didn't give me a straight answer I punched him. I don't know why, I am not really violent I was just so mad. But AJ I wasn't expecting what happened next, he lost it and snapped he pinned me to the wall and was choking me, thus the bruises, I looked into his eyes and All I saw was pure rage, I didn't know who was in front of me. Then he just stopped turned grabbed his bags and left telling me it was over. I don't understand it was so unreal"
AJ stood there looking at the reflection in the mirror, 'so Caleb refused to tell him, he is still in love with Kevin, I have to get them together so he doesn't try anything with Kevin. I have got to make them love each other again. I will not lose Kevin after all this.'
" AJ are you there are you even listening to me?"
"Huh, sorry just thinking about what you said, Well as far as what happened." AJ pointed to the bruises
"Caleb doesn't like being hit. That is something that he really needs to talk to you about, and Lance please don't pressure him about that aspect. It is hard for him to talk about it, it's also hard for someone to hear as well. When he does tell you just hold him and love him, you still love him right?" AJ held his breath hoping for a positive reply.
"Yes I do."
"There's something to work for. As for our past Caleb had his reason for not saying anything and you guys really need to talk about that. He did cut off generally all connection with us for two years Lance, only a few emails and letter here and there and most of them were to Kevin and Nick. I am very happy with Kevin, he's my soul mate and Kevin is happy with me. I have no intention of hurting that or breaking up you and Caleb. Finally Caleb doesn't love me." AJ believed what he was saying was true so it came across with all sincerity.
"I am such an idiot I should have just listened too him."
"You are both idiots!" came a reply from behind them
AJ and Lance turned toward the door to see Kevin standing there with Caleb thrown over his shoulder. AJ laughed cause all he could see was Caleb's ass.
"Kevin turn around I want to see" Caleb shot out.
Kevin turned around to let him see the room. Caleb lifted his head to see AJ and Lance. Both took an intake of breath when they say Caleb right eye swollen and black.
To be continued....
rhythm@freeandsingle.com