If You Were to Hold Me

By Lee McDougal

Published on Aug 25, 2000

Gay

Well, here's the second part of my new story. I am enjoying this story, and the new pace I'm going at. I hope you all are enjoying the story. Let me know at lefteyefan-1@tlcfanmail.com. Don't forget to stop by my webpage sometime- http://home.gay.com/leo1980/

If you Were to Hold Me Chapter 2

The next morning I woke bright and early. I couldn't believe it! I was about to leave home! I didn't even know where we were going.things were moving to fast. Would I regret leaving so soon? I'm giving up my whole life here! It was bothering me.it was obvious by the fact that I woke up so very early. It was only 5 A.M. in the morning. I knew I had to pack, so I thought I'd take advantage of the extra time I had. I packed my large suitcase full of clothes, underwear, and such. I folded it all as neatly as I could.which isn't saying much.

I moved to the bathroom to feel my small travel back with some other essentials. I put in my razor, shaving cream, shampoo, etc. I also put in some other things that I might need on the road, some of which I won't mention. I also threw in my hand held video game and a few games to keep me busy if I get bored on the road. I knew there was so many things I wanted to take.but I had to settle for what little I could put in that bag. I just had to sigh and remind myself.I would be able to come back someday soon.

It was around 6:30 when I was happy with my packing. I walked into the kitchen to find mom was up as well. She was trying to smile, but I could see her holding back the tears.

"So my baby really is leaving me?" She asked.

"Yes, looks like it. But I'll be back to visit as soon as I can Mom." I told her.

"OK dear, just do your best out there. And don't get into any trouble." She lectured.

"Of course mother!" I said to her.

I was going to cook, but mom insisted that she do it since it was my last day home for a while. She seemed to age visibly in front of me. I really hated to leave her like this. But I knew she'd be OK after a while. I was hurting too though. I won't lie.I had depended on my mom for a long time. Now I had to be own my own. It would be a big change for us both. But I knew that we were ready for it.

I talked to mom a while, telling her about Ruby. She was quite surprised that I had already came out to someone that was going to be on the trip. I started to wonder if Ruby had told Emerald and Blake. Well, I was pretty sure she'd tell Emerald.after all they are twin sisters.

I guess it wouldn't bother me if Blake knew.but it would be a bit awkward since he's my boss. What if he's straight.or even worse homophobic? I mean sure, he seemed to be flirting earlier, but I could have just taken his friendliness wrong. Oh well, whatever the situation is, I would face it straight on.or gaily forward.whichever.

Mother and I decided to ride over to Grandma's after breakfast. I wanted to say goodbye to her.it hurt my heart to think I might not see her again. Mom thought it best I not try to explain to her where I'm going. After all, she'd just forget it anyway.my grandmother's memory was gone. I loved her with all my heart, and it brought tears to my eyes at the thought of leaving her behind as well.

We arrived at her house and walked in the door. Grandma was setting in her favorite chair. I walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"Hey Grandma." I said.

"Hey Anthony." She answered.

"How are you this morning?" I asked.

"I'm doing OK. What are you doing up this early?" She asked.

"Just wasn't sleepy anymore." I told her.

We talked a little while longer about this and that. Then I got up and gave her another hug.

"I love you Grandma, and I'll be by to see you as soon as I can." I told her.

"OK, I love you too." She said.

With that I said good bye to my grandmother. I was about to depart on a strange new adventure.where would this all lead? Would I find it to be the job of my dreams? Would I find love somewhere out on the road? Would I thrive in my New World? Or will I just come back home crying for Momma? Time would tell, and time would also surely heal the wounds on my heart that are here today.

Mother held my hand on the drive back home. That had to be the hardest thing since I lost my brother. I was leaving behind my grandma who had been such a large part of my life. She was always there for me, what if I'm gone when she needs me? Well, I had to go though.this was my chance. If I were ever going to get out on my own, it would have to be this way. If not today, then sometime down the road I would have to leave them. So I chose to go with the job. It was after all one of my dreams to be in the music business.sure I wanted to actually be performing, but this was better than nothing.

As I entered the house, I set down on the couch with the portable phone in hand. I dialed up Ruby's cell phone number that she insisted on giving me last night. The phone rang 3 times before finally a sleepy girl answered.

"What is it?" She said.

"Gee, are you always this cheerful on the phone?" I asked Ruby.

"Boy, it's not but 9 in the morning.I don't do cheerful before 10! It's in my contract." She laughed into the phone.

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked her.

"Well you just woke my ass up, but since I'm up.let's see. I'll got grab a small breakfast, and since we are leaving at 12.Let's meet at 11 at the mall, and we'll grab lunch, and head out. I'm sure General Blake will approve it." She said.

"OK, I'll see you there. Mom will be coming too, where she can take my car back home." I told her.

"Oh OK, but don't you want to say goodbye in private?" She asked.

"Yeah, I guess that would be better.maybe you could pick me up again?" I asked.

"Sure, that'll be fine." She said.

So I spent the rest of the morning with mom, and when 10:20 came around I knew it was almost time for Ruby and the others to show up. I hugged mom and started my goodbye.

"Mom you know I'll be back to see you soon. You'll be OK, right?" I asked her.

"Sure, I'll be fine. Go out there and have a good time, and make sure to call and write!" She said.

I didn't cry this time, but the pain was still there. I gave mom one more hug, and then I heard the horn blow in the front yard. I must have spaced out, cause I didn't even hear them pull up.

"Bye mom!" I told her.

"Bye dear, I love you son."

"I love you too Mom."

And with that I walked out the door to start my new life. I had 2 bags, and a head full of dreams. Where would my destiny take me? Well, the first stop was the mall.hey who was complaining!

I climbed in the back to set with the girls. Blake and some guy I hadn't met set in the front. I wasn't much for introductions at the moment. I laid my head on Ruby's shoulder and closed my eyes, concentrating to hold back the tears.

"It's OK dear. We all feel that way the first few days. You'll be fine. Emerald and I haven't seen our parents in weeks. You just have to realize you still have family around, us!" She said.

"Thanks Ruby, that's kind of you." I hugged her and set back to enjoy the ride.

"And we are going to do a little post traveling shopping too!" Emerald said.

"Yeah, we have got to get some new CD's. We need some phat music to keep the party rocking!" Ruby said excited.

"And most important girl, we got to get our shop on!" Emerald threw in.

"Well, I'm going to need a new pair of shades too." I added.

"There you go, now you've got him started!" Blake yelled from the front.

"What do you mean by that Blake, honey?" Emerald asked.

"I hired him cause we had enough girls on the trip as it is.now your going to recruit him into your world of shopping?" He asked.

"Don't listen to him he's just got something stuck up his ass." Emerald said looking at me.

"Or needs something up his ass." Ruby whispered in my ear. That turned my face 2 shades of red.

"Oh god, I can tell you 2 are going to be fun!" I said laughing.

Soon we arrived at the mall. It wasn't very crowded thank goodness. We decided to do the shopping first. We went to the record store and bought a couple of CD's. I didn't plan on buying anything, but Ruby told me that the purchases were all going on the record company's credit card. So, I decided to throw in a few CD's. I picked out the soundtracks to "Bring It On" and "Nutty Professor 2". The girls picked out mostly hip hop and pop music. That made me feel better, and I assumed that must be their style as well.

We met back up with the boys at the food court. I realized I still hadn't been introduced to the new guy. So I thought I'd ask.

"Hey, my name is Anthony, and you are?" I asked holding my hand out to him.

He was an older guy, probably around 40. He still had all his hair, but he had the other signs of aging. He was still pleasant enough to look at though. He looked like a father type really.

"Hi, my name is Edwin. I'm the president and owner of Sandlot Studios. Nice to meet you." He said shaking my hand. I was shocked. What was the big boss doing here?

"Nice to meet you too, so what brings you to Alabama exactly?" I asked him

"Well, I know that it must seem odd, but I came to meet you. You see we are a small company, and I have met everyone that works here. It's the way I like it. I don't want my employees to just be names and numbers. I started this company as a hobby more than anything.so I want to enjoy it."

"So how did you get into this business?" I asked him.

"Well, I come from a long line of rich stiffs.when my father died he left me a large inheritance. So I thought I would invest in something I love. I've always been a huge fan of music in general. I really like some of the pop music and stuff they have out today.so I thought.what the heck! And here we are." He told me.

"That's great! So now that we've been introduced, Blake what is the schedule? I can't exactly help you keep it.if I don't know it!" I told him.

"Well, I have all that information back at the main office. So we are going back to Jacksonville, Florida to get it. And to let the girls go home for a few days." He told me.

"So what do I do those first days then?" I asked him.

"Well, there isn't much for you to do, just look over the schedule and I have your official contract to look at. Then when you get that signed.you'll be free to knock around." He answered.

"Great so he's going to stay with us then!" Emerald told him.

"Yes mom will like you Tony!" Ruby threw in.

"OK that'll be fun I guess." I said.

After lunch we all piled into the van and headed for the airport. The flight was a short one, but I was glad of it. I always got terribly bored on airplanes. After boarding the plane, Ruby and I found a seat together, and Emerald and Blake set across from us. I didn't see Edwin anywhere.but I assumed he was there somewhere.

"I hate flying. It's so boring." Ruby said.

"Yeah, I know." I agreed.

"I can't stand flying.I'd rather have walked." Emerald said.

"That's because she's afraid to fly."Ruby shot back.

"I am not.I'm just afraid of crashing." She cried back.

As the plane took off I saw that Emerald grabbed onto Blake's arm and held on for dear life. It looked as though she was afraid she was going to fall out the little window or something. It was quite funny, and Ruby and I both started laughing.

"If you think that's something, wait till you see her in turbulence. The plane starts rocking, and she starts freaking." Ruby laughed again.

"I can only imagine. Maybe flying with her won't be so boring." I said.

"Well, it's amusing the first time.but when she freaks out like the second or third time.you just want to smack her or something. Or maybe it's just that sisterly love?" She said smiling at Emerald.

Emerald had calmed down when the plane leveled off and stuck her tongue out at Ruby. The rest of the flight was smooth, so I would have to wait till later to see Em freak out. I was looking forward to getting off the plane. Those seats just weren't comfortable and I needed to stretch. When plane had come to a complete halt we all got up and piled in behind the crowd. It's like being in a herd of cattle moving with a crowd like this. We held hands to keep from getting lost in the crowds. I held on to Ruby and Emerald's hand, while Blake refused to join the chain. So Ruby decided to ditch him.she did manage to tell me this right before she dragged all 3 of us through the crowd. I'm surprised we didn't knock someone out in our rush off the plane.

We made it to the luggage arrival area and awaited our things. By the time it made it there.Blake had finally caught up. The girls' mom was there to pick up them up. Her name was Rose. She was a nice looking woman. She looked to be the same age as my mom. She was a bit heavy set, and her hair was long and beautiful just like Ruby's. She was so friendly. She took the time to reaffirm the invitation to stay with them. So I agreed again, and waved them off.

Blake and I were now alone.for the first time since the day we met. I was glad of it in a way. I wanted to get to know him a little better.

"So what happened to Edwin?" I asked.

"Well, he had to stay in Alabama a bit longer. He's securing a show we are going to play there." He told me.

"Oh OK, that's cool. So where to?" I asked him.

"Well, we are going to get a cab to take us the office, and then we'll go over your contract." He told me.

"Right, so tell me a bit about yourself." I said as we pilled into the cab Blake had flagged down.

"Well, I'm 18 years old. I have no real experience in managing a band.but Edwin picked me all the same. So I'm trying to do the best I can. I was born and raised right here in Jacksonville. I've been with the girls for 5 months now." He told me.

"That's interesting. So do you have a girlfriend?" I asked him.

"No, who has time for that while on the road all the time?" He asked me.

"Yeah I guess so.of course you could have dated one of the girls." I pointed out.

"No, that wouldn't have been good business. If we had broken up, it would have made working with them all but impossible. And trust me, they aren't my type." He said.

"So what is your type then?" I asked him.

"You know, I'm not really sure." He said.

"OK then." I decided not to push that yet, but I would have to get back around to it.

"So what about you? Dating anyone?" He asked me.

"No, I've been single for a while now. Had a big break up a couple of months ago.but I'm single." I told him.

"That stinks. I know how break ups can be, were the two of you close?" He asked.

"Yeah, we were engaged actually." I told him.

"Wow, that's intense. How old are you again?" He asked.

"Well, I'm 20, didn't you look at my papers?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot." He laughed.

The rest of the ride was pretty silent. I was tired and not realizing what I was doing.laid my head down on his shoulder. He didn't say anything about it.so I didn't move.

When we arrived at the office, he nudged me awake. I had fallen asleep.

"We're here sleepy head." He told me.

"Oh, I guess I was more tired than I thought." I smiled and got out of the cab.

We walked into the office building and I saw that it was a very nice looking place. We walked to the elevator and went up to the third floor. When we exited the elevator I saw that the whole floor had somewhat of a tropical theme to it. There were palm trees here and there, and the large window over at the end overlooked the beach. I hadn't realized how close to the water we were.

"Wow, we are on the beach?" I asked.

"Yes, it's nice isn't it?" He asked smiling.

"Yeah.let's get through with the paper work fast.so I can go down and look at the beach!" I said excited.

We read over the contract completely. It was all very simple.the gist of it was.I was to get insurance and other such benefits, but I wasn't allowed to take advantage of the company. So my devious scheme to record all the concerts and sell the tapes on E-bay was foiled! Doh!

I didn't have any problems with the contract so I signed it. We then rode the elevator down, and he showed me to the back exit of the building.that led right to the beach. There was a wooden walkway and a shower set up there too. It reminded me of hotel I had stayed in once while in Pensacola. That's what the whole situation felt like.like I was on vacation.with a really cute guy.

When we made it to the sand, we started walking along the beach. At some point during the walk Blake had taken my hand. I was a bit surprised, but I was glad of it all the same. Nothing was said. We just enjoyed the cool breeze from the ocean, and the company of the other.

After the walk, we returned to the office and I called Ruby to let her know we were finished. She said she'd be there to pick me up in five minutes.

When she arrived I turned to say goodbye to Blake.

"See you later man." I said.

"Sure, have a good time with the girls. I know you'll enjoy hanging out with Rose too. She's really nice, and a good cook." He winked at me. This boy was driving me crazy, but I was enjoying the ride.

Ruby was driving a red mercury topaz. It wasn't a fancy car, but it was nice enough. I got in and greeted her with a small hug. Then we were off. Ruby and her family lived in a suburban community called Ponte Vedra. It was nice place to visit. It looked like one of those sitcom neighborhoods. The houses were all kind of close together, and there seemed to kids playing everywhere. It was getting dark though, I looked at my watch and saw that it was 6, but I knew it was really 7 because of the time change. Soon everyone would be turning in for the night.

As we pulled in Emerald ran out to meet us. She looked a lot more cheerful and happy since the last time I saw her. I guess being at home after so long was a big relief on her.

"Momma's got supper ready. She said for you two to get in there. Oh, there's someone inside I want you to meet Anthony." Emerald said.

We walked in the house and turned to go into the dinning room, there sitting at the table was a tall handsome man. He had light brown coloring. He reminded me of Jaleel White. He stood up and shook my hand as Emerald introduced us.

"Anthony this is our little brother Johnny. Johnny this is Anthony." She said.

"Well, he isn't so little." I said.

"Nope, I'm 17, only 2 years younger than them." He said.

"Well, everyone sit down, and lets eat." Rose told us.

While we ate, Rose, Johnny, and the girls told me about Rodney. Rodney was Roses husband, and the others' father. He had died in an awful wreck years back. He was a truck driver. He sounded like a nice guy. I felt their pain while they described it all. At one point toward the end of the meal, Ruby had laid her head on my shoulder and said she was ready for bed. She lead me to her room where a small bed had been made for me in the floor, and her bed was right beside it. I gave her a hug, and laid down. I was tired from the traveling and all.

I didn't know what was going to happen between my new friends and I. But I knew that life was definitely looking up! I was looking forward to each new challenge, and every new discovery.maybe I would find the real me on this roller coaster ride. And maybe I'll find what I have always wanted.Love!

To Be Continued

Come back for more guys! I'll have more coming bore you know it. Peace and love, Keep reading!!

Next: Chapter 3


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