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Dylan
What the hell do I do now?
Laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling is not helping. Colin just ended our friendship.
I know I have to give him space. He'll come back around. No matter what has happened to us in the past we've always come back to each other.
But this just feels different.
And now that I'm thinking about it. I'm not sure I can tell Logan what actually happened.
I fuckin' almost kiss Colin. How does one explain that to their boyfriend? That I was sitting on his stomach and almost kissed him!
Almost kissed for a second time honestly.
This has become too fucking complicated.
Do I talk to Cody?
Cody has proved to be a good friend, but can I go to him with this? The only reason me and him are friends is because of Logan and Jjay.
The worst part is I can't keep this a secret. They are going to wonder what happened between Colin and I. They will question why we aren't talking.
I have to tell Logan. Just so he doesn't hear about it from someone else.
But how is he going to react?
Will he go after Colin? Will he let it go?
It's not like we kissed. And Colin did have me leave.
Could that be enough to get Logan to not attack him?
Well not attack him. Logan is too smart for that. He knows that Colin still means something to me. So it's not like he would hurt him physically.
But Logan plays those mind games. He out thinks you and gets you cornered.
Hell he got the entire school to hate Jake and Rickey and it didn't take much work.
Well, that could be because they are assholes.
Ugh, what do I do?
I hate this, I hate everything.
God damn it Colin, why did you have to be gay?
I can't really be mad at Colin. It's just how he feels.
He likes me, how did I not notice that?
Everything was clicking into place. Every prolonged glance, every time he 'accidentally' brushed against me in wrestling.
How did I miss this?
And more importantly, why do I feel something for him?
I always thought of him as my brother. At least I thought I did.
But him saying he's gay made me feel something.
I felt relief.
I don't know how to explain it.
I felt... happy he's like me.
And how we almost kissed? Everything felt right.
I felt drawn to him in those seconds before we pulled away.
But everything feels right with Logan.
How can everything feel right with two people?
I love Logan with my entire being. But is there something between Colin and I?
It doesn't matter. I'm with Col...
No, Logan. I'm with Logan.
Why the hell did that happen?
Was that my mind mixing up Colin and Logan?
"AHHHHHHH" I put my arms over my eyes.
This shouldn't be that difficult. I've been with Logan for a couple of months now. He was my first everything. It should be easy to be with him.
This shouldn't be a problem.
My phone started ringing.
I reached over and look at it and saw Logan's name.
This is going to be fun.
"Hey Logan." I said, putting the phone up to my ear.
"Hey, what'cha up too."
"Just laying on my bed. Nothing really." I said, "Why what's up?"
"Oh nothing. Just got off the phone setting everything up for the talk with Jake. "
"So when do we meet up with him?"
"Tomorrow after school. Meet at my car after last bell and we'll drive over."
"Alright. This shouldn't be that difficult right? We show up and just kind of talk things out?"
"Hopefully it will be easy. We need it to be, to turn everything around." He said, "so be on your best behavior."
"Right. It's me that causes all the fights. I'm the one who jacked Rickey against the lockers and got punched by Jake."
"Your sarcasm kills me."
"I try." I said
"Anything else you wanted to know about tomorrow?"
"No, but there is something I wanted to tell you..."
"What's up?"
"I went to hang out with Colin today. And he's probably going to kill me for outing him. But he told me today he's gay."
"Really? That's actually not that surprising. I'm pretty sure everyone knew that." He said.
"That's not all. He told me he liked me. And that it hurts him to see me with someone else." I said, "He ended our friendship."
"He did what? Are you okay? Do you need me to come over?"
"No I'm fine. I figure just give him some space. Eventually he'll come back around once he learns to deal with everything. Our friendship isn't something he's just going to throw away."
"Alright, as long as you are okay."
"Yea I'm fine. It's just going to be weird not being able to talk to him anytime I want."
"If he does value your friendship he'll come around. What you have with Colin is a type of friendship that is once in a lifetime."
"Yea, I know. It's just waiting will be difficult." I said.
"No use worrying about it." He said.
"Yea," I said, "You are being very understanding with this. I did say he likes me."
"I trust you." He said. "plus with the fact that Colin ended your friendship shows that he has a moral compass that won't allow him to try to cheat. Why? Is there a reason I should be worried?"
"Oh, no. No reason at all." I said back.
'except we've almost kissed twice' I thought.
No way I could say that to him.
"Okay, then I trust you." He said. "Is there anything thing else you want to know?"
"Nah, I think I can handle everything."
"Alright, I'll talk to you later." He said.
"C ya."
We hung up the phone and I just stared up at the ceiling again.
What am I going to do? I just lied to Logan about what happened. I almost did cheat on him. The first time the only thing that stopped me was a phone call. The second time I barely tore away from him.
This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
I should have told him. I should have fucking told him.
It probably wouldn't have ended well if I did though...
I just need to move on.
That's all I need to do. Which is probably easier said than done.
I stood outside my first period classroom. I watched Colin walk in earlier, which means he was already in his seat. I'm not quite sure how this is going to work at all.
Might as well get it over with.
I walked into the room and my eyes caught Colin's eyes.
His eyes looked red. Had he been crying?
He's taking this harder than I thought, if that was true.
I sat down next to him and just took a breath.
"Hey" he whispered.
"Hey" I said back.
Then silence. Complete silence.
I didn't know what to say. I was just blanking.
Thankfully the bell rang.
This is going to take awhile to fix. I just need to give it time.
I walked out to Logan's car and saw him standing by it already.
Why is he standing outside with how freezing it is?
"Aren't you freezing?" I said, walking up to the car.
"A little, but I can deal. I basically grew up in an ice rink. Being cold isn't a big deal."
"You're crazy."
"You ready for this?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Alright, let's get going" He said.
We got in the car and started driving.
"Where is this going to be at?" I said.
"It's at Jake's house. His parents aren't home until later. So it's will be easier to do." he replied.
So we are going into the enemies den. This is going to be a fun.
After driving for a bit we pulled up to a pretty big house. Guess it shows that Jake also comes from money.
It kind of worries me that all these people on the 15 come from money. And then there is me, middle-middle class kid. When I have to chose someone in two years how the hell can I pay for shit like Logan did? I can't afford shit like him.
No I can't think I don't belong. I'm one of them. At least I need to feel like it today. I have to be confident. So things don't turn to shit.
We got out of the car and walked up to the house. Logan knocking on it.
The door opened to reveal Jake standing there.
"Anyone else here yet?" Logan said.
"Matt, Percy, and Kyler are all here. Along with their sophomores. Shouldn't be long." Jake said letting us in.
"Wait, it's going to be more than just the four of us?" I said, "Why do we need to involve everyone if it's just us discussing how to get back on our teams?"
"This is more than that Dylan. It's basically a meeting to get all the problems out in the open and really all the problems its cause between everyone else." Logan said.
"There has caused a lot of bad blood between everyone. There is a massive split. So we need for everyone to be part in this to clear everything out." Jake continued for him.
"Right," I said.
I stayed by Logan's side, even though the few people that were there were talking. I didn't have anything to say to them.
I guess there is a big divide. I don't really even know the other people here. I know their names, but past that... nothing.
How would I anyway? I never spent time with any of them except Cody and Victoria. And even them not that much.
These are the kids I'm supposed to be friends for the next few years. Have parties together and really grow as a group.
But, that's not have happened. We all let a stupid fight keep us all separated.
Well at least that ends today. I might be able to have more friends.
Soon everyone started to file in. Cody and Jjay took their spots next to Logan and I. While Amanda and Victoria moved between everyone.
I guess those two are going to be the voices of reason it seems.
"So I heard something happened between you and Colin." Cody said to me.
"Yea, he ended our friendship." I said back to him. "But it's not going to last long. We have a friendship that will last forever. He just needs his space for a bit."
"Don't give him too much space though. You don't want him being comfortable with the idea of you not being around."
"It's not going to be like that. I'll explain more to you later." I said, "There is a lot more to go into, then I can tell you with all these people around."
"Alright, we'll talk about it later."
"I guess we better get this started." Jake said stepping forward into the center of the room.
"Everyone knows why we are here. Logan and I hate each other. Caused everyone else to fight amongst themselves. Making you all take sides." Jake said, "But now we are here to end that. Anyone have any questions."
"What happened between you guys anyway." One of the sophomores, Bobby, asked.
That question for some reason made Logan smirk.
Why did that make him smirk?
Jake shot a glare at Logan.
"It doesn't matter what happened between us. All that matters is how we end it." Jake said.
"How does it not matter?" Bobby said, "It's easier to fix something when you know why it broke."
The upper lip of Jake's mouth twitched a bit. He didn't like this.
"Fine. If we want to do this." Jake said, "Logan and I use to be best friends. Met very young. Use to do everything together. "
"But that all changed sophomore year when Logan was picked by Jason, and I was picked by Jamie. Jason was number #1 and I felt that I should be." Jake said, "I felt that I was more of a leader then Logan ever was. I felt I could do a better job than Logan could. Logan thought differently. Caused us to fight. Ended with me winning and rightfully getting the #1 spot."
"It ended with you bitching and moaning until I decided it wasn't worth it." Logan said to him.
Fuck what was Logan doing? How was this suppose to make this fight end?
I shot a look over to Cody who looked just as surprised and I did.
"Jake, you thought you were more of a leader then me? If you were a leader you would never have let any of this get this far. You let your selfishness overtake your reasoning." Logan said, "I let you win because I was tired of all the fighting. It was driving a wedge in the 15."
"I knew you wouldn't stop. So I did, I thought it would be the end of it, and everything would go to normal." he said, "But I was very wrong. You never became the leader you thought you would be. You let the fight continue. Hell you fanned the flames. Look at what happened this year. Rickey almost destroyed Dylan's life. And you stood by and allowed it! What type of leader does that?"
What was Logan doing? The others in the room looked as shocked as I felt. This was not going the way it should be going.
Jake was at a loss for words. He realized this was a trap. That Logan apparently set.
But why? To further humiliate Jake? Why?
Then it hit me. He plans to discredit Jake. To show his selfishness, to remove him from the 15.
Logan's looking to becoming #1 again. This was all a ploy.
"And what type of leader would you be Logan?" Jake said, "The type to set up an ambush? The type to manipulate someone into punching you? To fake liking someone to eventually use them as a sympathetic example?"
"That's right. Logan used Dylan here just for that. When I came to him a few weeks ago about ending this. He told me his plan was to destroy me. That he chose Dylan for that exact reason." he said, "Logan, did you say to me: 'I allowed you to take my #1 spot, to give you a sense of winning. I talked Ricky up to you, because I knew you would take him from me. I knew the type of person he was. I knew how he would react to Dylan. I've watched these two all last year. I knew he would be your downfall.' Jjay, you were there. Didn't he say that?"
I looked at Jjay who just looked away from everyone's eyes.
What? Logan picked me for this sole reason?
I look up at Logan. Who look angry.
He realized he was caught.
Logan chose me because he knew I was gay? He used me?
No... that can't be true. Why would he do that? He wouldn't...
"Sounds like to me, Logan, that you were the one continuing this fight, not me." Jake said.
There was a silence. No one knew what to say.
Until Jake spoke up. "I move to disband the 15 effective immediately."
What?
I saw out of the corner of my eye Logan tense up.
Did this really mean that much to him? Did this fucking popularity contest mean that much to him that he was pissed that he's not ranked number 1? Seriously?
I never realized Logan was that petty... No there has to be a different reason. Logan always has a reason. And it has to be a better reason then stupid popularity ranking.
There is really only one way to tell if Logan does care about it...
"I agree" I spoke up. "I may be a sophomore, and I have no idea if I'm speaking out of turn. But if that was all true. All of this is bullshit. I'm not in high school to have my life ruined by a stupid popularity contest."
Logan turned his head to look at me as I spoke. The look in his eyes was something I would never forget.
Slowly everyone around us started to nod yes.
I saw Logan's hand clench. Why was he so pissed?
This should be a good thing. With no 15, it means no more fighting. It means we can go on our teams again.
He was losing... that's what it was. Logan hates losing. So much so he was willing to ruin everything to win against Jake.
And now he can't win. Ever. Logan won't even be able to beat Jake now...
"Looks like it's settled. The 15 is done." Jake said, "Bye everyone. It's been nice fighting with you all."
Slowly everyone started to file out walking past Logan who just stood there staring daggers at Jake.
Soon, it was just Logan, Jake, Rickey, Amanda, Victoria, Jjay, Cody, and I.
"I won Logan." Jake said, "I won by not fighting you at your game. Now let it go. It's over."
Logan had nothing to say back to that.
He just turned his back and walked out of the house, leaving the rest of us standing there.
"He does care about you Dylan." Jake spoke up, "More then he wants to admit to himself. And it scares him. He's not use to connecting with someone emotionally. So he threw himself into this. He never planned to be your boyfriend when he chose you. That happened on its own and took him by surprise."
"But I'm warning you now. When it comes to Logan, you are going to need to give him space after this. He's pissed. And that could be dangerous for you." Jake said, "Jjay and Amanda, you both know how he gets when he's like this. He's unstable right now."
Unstable. I've seen that Logan before. It's the scariest thing I've ever witnessed.
"He's probably already gone. You have a way to get home?" Jake said.
"I'll take him." Jjay said. "Jake I honestly had no idea Logan planned this. This was crazy. Even for him."
"I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. I've known him a long time. We've dont things like this before. We use to trap people all the time. Most it was Logan's idea. he hates losing. He will always do whatever it takes to eventually come out in the win column. I told him I'm smarter then he gives me credit for. Everyone else would have played his game. But you need to make him play your game."
This was all so much for me to deal with.
So much shit has happened to me in the past 24 hours. First Colin, and now this?
What do I do? I was never ready to be part of any of this.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not a popular kid anymore. I can hopefully go back into obscurity now.
Yeah right, I'm still dating Logan.
Well, I hope I'm still dating Logan. Only time will tell on that front.
"How does this all get us back on our teams anyway?" Rickey said.
"You just tell the principal that you settles your differences and won't be interacting anymore." Amanda said, "No reason to talk to each other. No one here is bound to anything anymore. There is no reason for any of us, sophomores or seniors to talk to each other really. The group is done."
All of it... done. That's just weird to think about. We will still be thought of as the popular kids. But not to the same level eventually. Hell I was the last of the 15.
I guess I don't need to worry about picking someone and buying them clothes now...
Yay, that's something I should be thinking about.
We all left Jake's house. Jjay giving me a right home.
I arrived home and tried to give Logan a call, but it went to voicemail after one ring.
Meaning Logan rejected my call.
I hope I didn't screw things up with him for speaking up.
I should have kept quiet. I should have said anything.
I potentially destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. Over nothing.
I should have let someone else speak up. I am such a idiot.
Why did I do this to myself?
I guess I'll see tomorrow if I still have a boyfriend...
Yay.
Well there is the 22nd chapter of 'I'll Make you Popular' I hope you enjoyed it!
I also ask you to be patient in how long it will take me to update. I'm really bad at focusing. Hopefully I can keep up this pace!
If you have any criticism I would love to hear it.