I'm not dying! By Darne Moon.
I'm not dying! is an adventure tale that contains graphic sexual content between men. If you are not permitted to read such content please refrain from reading any futher. I currently dont have an editor, and do have dyslexia so please be patient with gramatical mistakes etc. This is the first time I've written anything of this magnitude in this genre. If you enjoy this first chapter of this story please let me know at darnemoon@gmail.com, and I'm always interested in constructive criticism comments and ideas.
Chapter 2
A lizard, a hen with two chicks, a dog, an owl and a Kuala bear are all stood in a circle watching a pulsing red whole in the ground. About them the world churns. Oceans rise and fall. Fire roars from great gashes in the earth's crust. Ice and snow pelt what little ground remains, and yet despite how close to doom the strange collection of creatures were, they remained watching the hole. It throbbed and writhed, and from its flapping mouth screams erupted like a volcano. Countless arms pushed their way out grasping at the dry coarse ground around. The screams began to pulse. A swirling mass of words poured into the world. Like a tornado they swept the animals up and carried them across the churning sea of chaos. Upon the horizon there rose a glittering island of crystal and rock, and as the tornado orbited it they could see beyond the crystal pillars and into the dark abyss of the world. A huge black eye stared up at them. It blinked.
I awoke thinking to myself: What the fuck. My dreams were getting stranger by the day and had begun to alarm me. But they were the least of my worries. In the week since the "Incident" Mum hadn't said a word. She barely ate, barely even drank and that had never been heard of before. She rarely left her room. I myself had been increasingly feeling like a ghost. Helpless in a world thrown into madness. I had spent the days tending to the garden, then in the afternoons I would prepare something to eat and go up to mums room and try to get her to eat something. I then sit just as she did in the kitchen staring out of the window or reading.
It was day break, the sun's golden rays filled my room. I rolled over trying to hide my head beneath the covers. This didn't really work. The sun was really quite bright! Eventually giving up I look to my computer screen and have a ponder. Yep it was wank time I concluded. I kicked my duvet off me and quickly typed in the password to access my computer. Within minutes I'm loading up one of my favourite porn shots. The guy was slender and smooth with sun kissed skin and sandy brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was wearing tight blue jeans and sat with his legs apart. Naturally he starts to get horny as any self respecting twenty something in a room on his own does. He begins to rub his quite ample package through the material of the jeans. As he's just getting his sizeable cock out to give it a good tug in walks his friend. Yeah that always happens to me. Immediately the friend, who is quite a sexy muscular Chinese-American, drops to his knees and starts sucking the main guy off. By now I'm quite merry wanking away, slowly pulling on my 6.5 inches with my right hand whilst I tweak one of my nipples with my left. I'm quite proud of my physique now, since taking up gardening and being so ill I had lost quite some weight. I was never fat but I've never been thin either. Oh... another friend walks in on the now naked pair. He's similar to the first guy but taller with a huge dragon tattooed on his shoulder. He immediately whips his dick out and thrusts it into the first guys mouth. The Asian guy, who quite sexily is watching the new guy face fuck the first starts to seriously pull on his dick, and then so very clearly turned on he stands up and cums all over the bare chest of the first guy. Uh oh. Now he's done it. The new guy grabs the Asian and flings him onto the floor and mounts him. His dick dripping with saliva from the first guy he penetrates the Asians ass easily, and proceeds to fuck him at an unforgiving pace. The first guy then feeds his dick to the Asian guy again. They spit roast the Asian guy for some time, and as their just about to cum all over the now royally fucked hotty I shoot my load all over my chest. I cum a surprising amount, and I just have to try it. I scoop some up on a finger and give it a try. Yep same old tasting me.
I turn the porn off and slip into a dressing gown before I go for a shower. I like early morning showers, they both wake me up and relax me. I let the hot water pour over me and I begin to lather up. I like really hot powerful showers. The type that feel like they could blast your skin off. After I've washed my hair I step out of the shower and dry off. Wrapped in my dressing gown I head down to the kitchen, passing mum's room as I go. I hear a noise like a groan. Curious I think, and carefully push the door open.
What I'm faced with takes me a moment to comprehend. There's Mum in bed, but she doesnt look right. On the floor by the bed are packs and packs of pill blister packs. There's my bottle of vodka... empty.
"Holy fuck!" I declare running into the room. I grab her about the shoulders and shake. I give her a couple of moderate slaps and she groans again, her eyes opening marginally. Dribble and a couple of dissolving pills fall from her parted lips. "What do I do!" I cry, "What the fuck do I do!" and then it hit me. That strange state of mind calm state of mind that means your going to get stuff done. I stop shaking her. I look at the pill packs, its a mix of household meds. I check her pulse and double check she's breathing. Then I walk down the stairs to the house phone and dial emergency services. With a benign placidity I describe the situation. Hanging up I return to my room and get dressed. I turn my mobile on and quickly text my dad:
Mums tried to kill herself. Rang ambulance, their on their way. I'm fine, everything's all right. Speak soon. Love Al x
I then text my brother something very similar and I went to double check the back door was locked, and then went and opened the front door. There I had a cigarette and waited a couple of moments for the ambulance. I took them up to her room. Watched as they checked her vitals and then as they took her out on a stretcher. I followed, locking the front door to the house and sat in the back of the Ambulance as instructed. I just stared at her as we travelled to the hospital. The dragons sleeping, I thought, may be forever. It was all a haze. Seemingly surreal. I answered all the questions I could then began chatting to paramedic. His name was Frank, he liked football (soccer) and BBQ's and was going to one after his shift. I smiled and told him a recipe for a marinade that went really well with steak. I realised at this point I was in shock.
Some ten minutes later we arrive in A&E and I'm shown to the waiting room. I take a seat and begin to study the people around me. When on my own in public areas and alcohol hasn't been involved at some stage I tend to get a bit reserved and very psychoanalytical. I begin creating stories about how they came to be here. I smile a young girl whose wearing a cast. She turns away and clutches at her mothers arm. Yeah great times we live, cant even smile at a kid without being branded a paedophile, I bitterly remark to myself. Quickly bored of my people watching I turn the literature available. Arthritis Weekly seemed to be the most readily available, however a leaflet called Syphilis and Me touched a funny bone. Forever seemed to go by and I decide I need cigarette.
I head outside and follow the signs to the smoking area. I light up and stare at the small garden not far away. As I'm trying to deduce the planting a male nurse about my age appears beside me in the unflattering blue uniform and a black leather jacket. He's taking out a pack a cigarettes and starts patting himself down for a lighter. I offer him mine and he gratefully accepts. As he exhales a plume of smoke he says: "Your Miss Moon's son aren't you"
"That's right" I reply non commitedly.
"They've just called for you" He says, "But don't worry, finish your cigarette" Nodding I turn back to my investigation of the garden. "You have her eyes... that's how I could tell"
"So I'm told"
"But not her nose" He adds distantly, "Got that from your dad I take it"
"Well I doubt it's from the butcher!" I retort. He grins. Wow, he has perfect teeth, and ARSE I hadn't brushed mine this morning. Despite the sun now quite high in the sky I'm shaking.
"Are you cold?" He asks, "Here take this" He hands me his coat, I politely refuse and explain its probably the shock just working its way out. Moments later we both seem to finish our cigarette at the same time. "Come on" He says chucking the cigarette end on the floor and stubbing it out with his foot, "I'll take you to your mum. Chewy?" He offers me a stick of chewing gum. Aha! I take it and eagerly pop the white stick in my mouth. I follow my new found friend into A&E and he guides me into a small ward just off the side of the reception. There are six beds, two empty and in the far corner I see Mum asleep by the looks of it. I plop myself down into the chair beside her as my nurse picks up the clip board attached to the frame of the bed. He flicks through the sheets of papers and smiles at me.
"She'll be fine, but the Doctor will want to speak to you both later. She's just sleeping now, she's had her stomach pumped and will probably be quite disorientated. When she wakes up we'll probably move her to a different ward" He pops the clipboard back in its holder, "I'm Ian by the way, just ask for me if you need anything" and he walks off. I'm sat feeling a bit bemused. Other than the jacket and his teeth I hadn't really looked at Ian, and how could I even begin to feel attracted to someone whilst my mum lay in a hospital bed beside me. I shake my head at myself, I really can be a selfish bastard sometimes.
A few hours pass, and Ian checks in on us occasionally. I take these brief moments to properly look at him. He's handsome in a conventional way. Angular face with dark eyes and black curly hair. Pale skin with broad shoulders, but quite a thin body as far as I could tell through his uniform. And the uniform... I'd never really thought of male nurses as sexy. In my quite extensive experience of hospitals they all tended to be fairly awkward looking guys, nice enough but never truly attractive. Ian however was an exception. Then my overly critical mind began to debate Ian and his apparent friendliness. Was he being so nice because he was attracted to me, or was he nice because he was a nurse and he could see that I'm just holding things together, and anyway is he even gay? It would be a terrible cliché but one I could enjoy. I'm so deeply contemplating this I'm totally unaware of his fifth visit.
"Still not woken up then?" He asks jolting me out of my inner discourse.
"No" I answer, I look up at his smouldering dark eyes, and I find myself smiling. Surely this is all wrong I should be racked with grief all tears and snot, but no here I am fawning over a male nurse. I realise I'm staring, but notice he's also blushing.
"And the doctors not come then?" He pulls up the clip board again and makes himself look busy.
"No" I repeat. I'm not winning any awards for my conversational skills today it would seem.
"I don't think it will be to long" And he wanders off again, well I'm now completely confused. I turn my attention back to Mum. After all its because of her I'm here right. I gently push a rogue hair behind her ear and smile. She looks so peaceful sleeping, and pretty despite her age. Very few people believe she's in her sixties. Its a shame that deep down inside she's a churning ball of fury and confusion.
"Ah" A booming voice declares, "Miss Moon, yes. Still not woken up?" I turn to see whose speaking an enormous black man in a white coat is stood at the foot of the bed, he's obviously The Doctor, a troupe of other men in white coats and Ian are stood around him.
"No sir" Ian states, his charming friendly manner gone.
"Ah, well move her anyway need the space! You are you the son?" The Doctor asks, his manner somewhat aggressive. My face stiffens and I confirm his suspicion, "How did this happen then?"
"Well I'd imagine she took a shit load of pills and drank a bottle of vodka. You don't need a degree to figure that out!" I declare somewhat riled by the man's lack of consideration. The Doctor cocks his head slightly, like a dog studying something it doesn't know whether to kill it or fuck it.
"I mean, young man, does she have a history?"
"Well, I... I suppose so"
"Refer to psych ward then she needs evaluating" He turned and advanced on another patient, Ian lingered a moment to offer me a quick reassuring smile. This time I blush. Minutes later Mum's being wheeled away still unconscious and I'm alongside her holding her hand I'm sure I can feel her squeeze my fingers. A lone tear finally breaches my cheeks.
The psyche ward was a lot like any ward, completely contrary to the image I had concocted of a series of padded rooms with heavy metal doors, huge orderlies in white and severe old nurses with a cruel glint in their eye and a penchant for pain. I'm almost disappointed, which on reflection is quite wrong I should have be happy its nothing like that. After I've seen she's settled, well wheeled into place I nip off for another cigarette, accidentally on purpose walking through A&E in the hope Ian will follow me. I'm disappointed when I don't see him and a little miffed I smoke the whole cigarette alone.
As I walk back to the psyche ward I slip into the toilets and have a quick pee before I check how I look. I'm wearing a pair of charcoal grey trousers and a tight black tee which at the right angle makes me look quite trim. I straighten my hair and suddenly remember to check my phone. Yep missed calls galore. Dad, Charlie, Lee... that's odd. I hadn't heard anything from him since that fateful night despite my two text messages. I send quick updates to both my dad and brother via text but decide to ignore Lee till I'm a bit more sorted. I also notice its 1PM and I realise I had had no breakfast and was actually quite hungry. Shit. I hadn't brought my wallet.
A little grumpy at my stupidity I return to the ward. To find Ian waiting for me by my mums bed. I approach smiling. "I thought you might be hungry" He states producing a small tray of hospital food from behind him and offers it to me "and I saw you didn't have a wallet on you". Involuntarily I raise an eyebrow.
"So you checked out my ass then" I state nonchalantly as I take the plastic lid off the plate. Oh goody, cold lasagne and over cooked veg. I glance at Ian who is bright red with embarrassment and grin. Armed with the plastic cutlery I tuck into my feast and I devour it with a passion, "So you do this for every relative that turns up here?" Actually I think I'm up for an award today for assertiveness.
"Erm... No"
"Oh" I try to smile at him seductively but that's not truly possible when you've just stuffed your mouth with rather plastic tasting broccoli, but who gives a fuck its food! It doesn't take me long to finish the meal, and as I wipe my lips clean with a tissue I find in my trousers I thank him. Not just for the meal but for everything. Taking the tray from me Ian makes the excuse he's got to take the tray back and rushes off. I watch his very sexy bubble butt disappear through a double doorway. At least if nothing else I saw that. There's a groan to my left.
"Where am I?" Asks my mum blearily
"Hospital mum" And she bursts into tears. A nearby female nurse rushes over to check we're all right.
"I'm sorry Al, I so so sorry. I just didn't know what to do. He's gone, he's gone, and I felt so... lost" She was staring right at me with such intensity I could barely hold her gaze. Her hand had somehow magically found mine and her nails dug into my skin.
"OK Miss Moon, OK" cooed the nurse, as she encouraged mum to lie down properly on the bed, "Your safe now, you all right" She pressed a button that was attached to the drip leading into my mums hand. Mum's face relaxed a few seconds later. The nurse asked me to follow her which I do, she takes me just out of earshot of my mum, "Your mother is going to need to be evaluated by one of our doctors, but we're also going to need to keep her in for a few days, just to monitor her. She's obviously in quite a fragile state and she'll be safest here. Is that all right?" She asks, almost as if I cant argue, but I don't stating the truth I just wanted her well again. "Now I suggest you go home and get some rest. You've had a long morning and look tired" Again this was more a command than an opinion and I cant help but agree. Smiling the nurse walks to the reception desk a picks up a phone, "now shall I call you a taxi?"
"No need Nurse Jones, I'll take him home"
"As you wish Nurse Riley" I turn to find Ian stood at the entranceway to the ward in biking leathers and a helmet under one arm. I look at him a little startled and very turned on. He walked towards me, the thick tight leathers creaking as he did.
"So where to?" he asks. I'm somewhat irritated by the assumption of today's modern nurses but at the same time...
"Afondiwedd"
"Ah perfect on my way home!" I eye him suspiciously as a cheeky grin dominates his face, how could I resist, "Come on then"
"Hang on, let me say good bye first" I rush over to Mum's bed. Take her hand in mine and squeeze it before whispering that I'm just going to go and check on the house. She nods slowly. Suddenly I feel my heart breaking and I quickly kiss her on the forehead and walk away. The ache in my chest nearly unbearable and I'm pretty sure my eyes are starting to tear up. As I reach to the point where Ian is standing he somewhat surprisingly wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes.
"Don't worry. She'll be fine" He tells me as we walk out of the ward and through the hospital. Maybe sometimes a nurses assertiveness is a good thing. He leads me out of the hospital still holding my shoulders, and takes me over to the staff car park, and I see a gleaming black motorbike stood near the little booth by the car parks entrance. It's was a stunning replica of a Black Triumph Bonneville and I instantly fall in love with it. I run my hand across the shiny black petrol tank, my fingers dancing around the chrome Triumph badge.
"My dad had one of these" I say dreamily memories of my youth came flooding back, "Yeah it was in bits in the garage!" Ian chuckles as he thrusts the helmet over my head with such force I'm nearly floored, "Jesus! What you trying to do kill me?" I declare as I try and gain my balance.
"Quite the opposite" He replies eye's sparkling.
"Hay where's yours?" I point out.
"The cool kids don't need helmets! Only the cute ones" I snort. OK, there is definitely flirting going on interesting, "ever ridden pillion?" He asks, I shake my head, "Right just well relax hold on tight, to my waist and try and mimic me, but don't worry we'll be perfectly safe" I groan inwardly, they are never good words to say around me. Sod's law is almost permanently applied to me, and I swear the moment I meet this Sod, I'm going to kick him in the nuts. I clamber on behind Ian and grip on. Unbeknownst to my new found friend, I had actually done my CBT a few years ago and I can ride but nothing like a Triumph Bonneville. I make a mental note I really need to do something about my lack of a driving license.
The ride was amazing, Ian was brilliant not one moment was uncomfortable. Something I remember my dad telling me could be a problem. The close proximity to Ian was amazing as well. Although I couldn't as such touch him or even feel his body through the thick leather it felt nice to be essentially hugging him as hard as I could. I took the ride time to contemplate my situation. OK my mother had just tried to kill herself. Bad news indeed, but out of that I had met Ian, which if I made an assumption on all the signs thus far, I think he likes me, and hell I like him, hell he brought me food. So there's a silver lining on every cloud, despite how dark angry and thunderous it may be.
We seem to fly along the roads. The country side blurs past. I feel free, like a bird soaring through the winds, all my stress and fear falling away. All to soon we arrive at Afondiwedd and we stop at the little town square. I start to climb off but Ian stops me with his arm. "Hay! I'm going to take you to your door!" Grinning I point down a road and tell him its the last of the three cottages on the right. Moments later we're there and I'm allowed to dismount. I thank him gratefully and off him a cup of tea in repayment for the lunch, he nods his acceptance. I remove my house keys and go to open the door, but its open. That's funny I'm sure I locked it.
As I'm just walking through the door, Iam grabs my hand, spins me rough grabbing me bodily and kisses me whilst walking me backwards through the doorway. I'm so surprised I'm not sure what to do. Pressing me against the rough stonework of the huge fireplace that dominates the little living room he breaks the kiss.
"Sorry was that... a bit much?" He asks his eyes bashful but lusting.
"It is inappropriate!" Comes a voice from the kitchen doorway. Craning my neck I see who it is, and its my brother Charlie crowding the doorway with arms crossed and a furrowed expression.
"Charlie this is Ian, Ian this is my brother Charlie"
"Hi" Ian says raising an hand in a casual wave. Then realises he's still got his body thrust against mine pinning me to the wall and leans back embarrassed.
"I think you should leave" Charlie says to Ian. I'm just about to protest but Ian agrees before I can say anything.
"Can I have your number?" he asks me, and I stare at him absently, brain suddenly dead. A second later I suddenly understand and chastising my stupidity I run over to a small side table next to the house phone and I pick up a business card and hand it to Ian. He takes a moment to look at it then laughs, nods at me with a wink and leaves shutting the door behind him. Seconds later I hear his motorbike roar and he's off. I've never craved for anyone more than I did right then. I turn to my brother fury burning in my eyes.
"You dick!"
"Our mother is in hospital after trying to kill herself and your out picking up guys! If anything your the dick"
"Shut the fuck up!" I tell him as I push past into the kitchen. His girlfriend the ever smiling anorexic Sandra is sat in my mums seat. I have got nothing against her except she's an officious cow, a snake in sheep's clothing. I greet her casually, flinging open the liquor cupboard. Ah that's right she drank the vodka. I begin to make a pot of tea instead.
"I don't want you to see that man again" My brother starts.
A cruel laugh escapes me, "Then I don't want you to see her again" I gesture nonchalantly at Sandra.
"Don't be ridiculous!" My brother retorts
"Hypocrite"
"What did you say?"
"Hypocrate's, interesting man, believed to be the founder of modern medicine. Charlie what are you doing here?"
"Oh erm let me think, your fucking text message"
"Oh so you were in the area? And you didn't think to pop in at any time and see your dear old mum" I snarl as I pour the hot water into the glass teapot.
"I love what you've done to the garden Alex" Sandra begins in a failed attempt to break the tension.
"Keep out of this" I bellow at her. She looks affronted but this soon wears off, she doesn't care about this family only its money. In fact its the only thing both of them are concerned about.
"Don't you dare speak to her like that again!" My brother threatens waving a finger at me. He's much taller than I am, with quite dark skin compared to my pale complexion, and the jet black hair of my father but its already turning grey.
"Oh don't make me out to be the monster here, you haven't spent the day alongside mum's bed wondering if she'll make it, and what have you been doing. Sitting here, drinking my tea, waiting for me, wondering how much your going to get for everything. The pair of you make me sick. Vultures! And for your information Ian was the nurse tending to mum, he offered me a lift home because I didn't have my wallet on me. I doubt either of you thought to ring the hospital to see what's going on. Did either of you even think I might need a lift or something to eat or even a fucking cup of tea when I got back. No. But look at me making my own tea, and thinking about what I can make to eat, thinking about mum and thinking: Fuck, what the hell's happened!" I retrieve a mug from a cupboard and pour myself a cup, "tea anyone?"
I take a quiet moment to marvel at my handiwork. Both my brother and Sandra seem to have been hit by a proverbial plank and are stood staring at nothing in shock. "So..." I continue considerably much calmer, "sit down and shut the fuck up and listen". I have them under my spell, and my brother does as instructed. I lean against the kitchen counter and start from the beginning, explaining the events of the week and day. They both listen quietly, but I can sense the spell is wearing off, behind my brothers cold grey eyes the cogs are beginning to turn again.
I finish my story at the point of leaving the hospital, and I drain the dregs of my tea and pour myself another cup. I remain standing, and the brewing silence is growing awkward. My brother shifted slightly in his seat. I started dreading his next statement.
"How are you doing?" He asks. I have to admit I'm a little thrown by this. I shrug. I realise this my brother playing up to his proclamation of being my protector. Something I have never understood.
"I'm fine, I'm busy, and now I'm healthy. Thanks by the way for visiting" I couldn't help that little dig.
"How's your finances?" He asks. This is an interesting statement. Years ago, when my brother was setting himself in London and making no money, I used to send him money, not much a hundred or so here and there. I was after all stable in work. Now to some degree the tables had turned, but I had my savings and though are now nearly depleted I refuse to accept peoples charity. A month or so ago the White Lion had expressed an interest in hiring someone to run their cellar. A position still unfilled.
"Low but fine, I've been offered a job up the road" I lie, they hadn't offered it me, just mentioned it loudly in my presence. My brother eyes me closely but he cant penetrate my lie defences.
"What you going to do now?"
"Ah the million dollar question. Probably get something to eat and have a bath, clean up and maybe go for a drink with some of the guys" This was in all likely hood what would happen. I smile as earnestly as possible before opening the fridge. I was starting to get a bit annoyed they were lingering and not even considering visiting mum in hospital. I remove some cheese and find a box of crackers in the bread bin, "Why don't you go and visit her. She's medicated but I think it will perk her up seeing you" I start to shake again. Damn it another wave of shock finding an exit point. These are going to come and go I can tell.
My brother eventually agrees and without further words he leaves, his bitch girlfriend following. I'm cruel I know, but they deserve it, especially her, the superficial judging mere. I open the patio doors and survey the garden once more. I check my mobile phone, no missed calls, but a simple text from Dad, asking if I'm all right. I reply saying yes and that everything's fine and that I'm going to meet some of the guys for a drink shortly. Which reminds me, I need to organize that. I type out a brief message to James, who responds with a: Where the fuck have you been stranger n sure drinks sounds good I'll gather the troops. 7Pm at the White. Perfect just enough time to have a bath and sort myself out. I'll probably need to vent a little before hand and schedule in a rant at the mirror.
I draw a bath, the water pressure is comically low but the water so ridiculously hot that by the time the water is a decent depth the water has cooled to a hot but tolerable temperature. I have a good long soak, wash my hair and all the usual grooming and hop out and dry off. Wrapped in my dressing gown I tidy the mess in mum's room straighten her bed and decide to approach my wardrobe. I swing it open and its a homage to black grey and white. My favourite colours. I pick out a pair of black trousers with a blue/grey pin strip, and a black creased effect shirt. I pick out my favourite silver necklace and my very precious solid silver ring I bought after I fell ill. I wear it to remind myself of all the reasons to enjoy life.
Checking the time I have just enough time to have a smoke and sly glass of wine before wandering up to the pub. I settle down at the kitchen table, my wallet, phone and a generous glass of wine to the side of me and a cigarette happily dangling from my lips when the strangest thing happens. My phone rings, it actually rings out. Cautiously I pick it up and see whose calling. It's a number I don't have and I begin to panic. Why on earth is my phone ringing out. It shouldn't be doing that. In milliseconds I debate my actions. Do I answer or do I not. I decide it must be fate, and it could be some news about mum. Tentatively I answer it.
"Err... hello" I say
"Alex? Hi, didn't think you were going to answer then. It's Ian" Suddenly my tension drops and I laugh madly. It was a brief chuckle but one that would undoubtedly seem strange.
"Hi Ian. Sorry me and phones... its a long complicated story"
"I bet it is" he chirps, "So how did things go with your brother? Things seemed to be a bit heated"
"Another long story, but things are cool"
"Listen... I'm off work for the next few days was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink or something"
"Yeah, yeah of course sounds great, love to yeah... I'm just about to go for a drink now, I mean if you wanted to join that would be cool. Going to the White Lion you know the pub up the road from my house" I offer tentatively, is this too eager. Fuck it who cares, I fondle the silver ring I'm wearing, you only live once. There's a pause on the other end of the phone. I hold my breath.
"OK Cool yeah, sounds good!"
"Or we could make a plan for tomorrow I have no plans other than going to see mum probably"
"No, no, I'll see you later, looking forward to it" I sigh audibly with relief and he laughs. We say our goodbyes and hang up. I look at my phone. That was weird I think. I realise its just past 7PM. I stub out my cigarette, drain my wine and go to meet my friends. They're already there, clearly eager to have another "night of it" whatever it is. I laugh at the usual greeting and order my usual pint of cider. I join my friends at their table by the window and listen to the events of their lives since our last meet. I notice the absence of Lee. For some reason I'm a bit disappointed but then remind myself that Ian was coming and instantly feel better about the situation. Gradually the conversation revolves around to me. I look decidedly awkward for a moment before embarking on the days events. Their reaction is appropriate, and in some cases extreme especially from Becky. I receive the usual, "Are you OK's" etc and I assure them I'm fine. I then change the subject and mention Ian. Predictably I get the coo's and woo's from the girls and James seems oddly surprised.
"You dog" He says with a cheeky grin, "So he's coming tonight?"
"Yep" I cant help but smile.
"Al..." Rachel begins, "You know Lee... you know when he stayed at yours last week, did he say anything?" She was being earnest and her voice dripped with concern. I suddenly feel guilty but hide it best I can.
"Erm no, not that I recall, we chatted a bit, catching up you know, then we watched a film and passed out. We were pretty fucked" She seems confused by this and looks out the window. I catch James looking at me. I cant decipher his expression. Was it questioning, or all knowing. Did he suspect or even know something had happened that night, thankfully a very loud and incredibly pleasing distraction arrived. Even indoors the purring of Ian's motorbike was audible, and there in front of the window we were sat at his Black Triumph rolled to a gentle stop.
"Whose this?" Rachel asks. This was the only down side of living in such a small town. Everyone knew everyone and although they may not know every aspect of that person they certainly could spot a stranger.
"Oh that's Ian" I say nonchalantly. All eyes were suddenly on me, and I go bright red. Outside Ian is removing his helmet and unzipping his leather jacket. He's not wearing his full leathers, just a pair of loose stonewashed jeans, workman's boots and underneath his jacket a formal black shirt. He looks great as he dismounts. I get up to meet him at the door. He greets me casually, and follows me inside. I realise I'm smiling like a complete idiot but I can't help it. There was something about this guy. I introduce him to everyone, both girls staring in lust and the guys enviously and we walk to the bar together.
"Thanks for coming" I say, unsure for the what seems like the first time for something to say.
"Nah, thanks for inviting me, pint of lager please" the latter he directs at the bar maid.
"Lager, really?" I ask somewhat surprised for some reason. I realise I know very little about the guy other than he's a nurse, rides a motorbike and a very good kisser.
"OK, you got me, glass of red wine please, Shiraz if you have any" The barmaid nods and goes to pour his drink. Shiraz, sweet, we like the same red wine. To be fair I like most red's but Shiraz is my favourite... especially now. This is great!
When we get back to the table an awkward silence descends. Finally James breaks it by asking about the motorbike.
"It gets me around" Ian says with a broad grin. I clock the girls still staring at Ian and can't stop myself from laughing instantly embarrassing them.
"I bet it does" retorts James with a dirty grin. Instantly everyone bursts into laughter at the insinuation, and the usual revelry ensues. I for once don't contribute much, I spend the time watching Ian. His friendly pleasant manner blends well with everyone else. He quickly learns about Becky's eccentricity I'm so fond of. James suitably embarrasses me with tales of our youth in Primary and my obsession with climbing trees. Ample innuendo is made regarding my fondness for wood from an early age. Then the bar maid asks if Ian could move his bike. I tell him to wheel it down by my house and he disappears to do so.
Instantly, like vulture's the girls accost me questions. I laugh through most of them, each as equally obscene as the one before, I shrug and pretend innocence. In fact I was innocent. Ian returns and the conversation turns to sports. I am immediately bored and decide to investigate the jukebox. James joins me.
"He seems nice" He states as I scroll through the songs available.
"Yep" I reply nonchalantly, my eyes fall upon the Queen play list and I start looking for my favourite. Despite my varying music taste I am at heart a classic rocker and I like everyone should, love Queen. I find it, Innuendo. After making my selection I surrender the jukebox to james.
"I bet Lee would like him" James comments. It knocks me off guard but shrug it off and return to the table. He must know something. I check the clock above the bar, its nearing 9PM.
"Erm... I'm going to nip to the shop and get some more cigarettes and a bottle of wine" I declare.
"But the Dragon isn't home" Brian says. I stare at him. Guilt suddenly blooming deep inside me. Rachel clearly gives him a sharp kick beneath the table and he promptly apologizes. I force a smile and walk out the pub. Ian promptly following me.
We don't talk on the walk to the shop, I thank him internally for this. I knew my guard was slipping, and I hated it. I rarely wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to keep things to my chest. Admittedly I occasionally vent and spout my anger, rage and disappointment about a myriad of topics. The important things, the nessecery things I keep to myself. What's the saying, once bitten twice shy.
I conduct my usual business in the shop. Smiling and laughing with San the shopkeeper. Ian watching me. I grab a couple of bottles of red, and get another 10 pack of smokes. As we walk back to the pub I decide to drop the bottles off at the house first. Ian, bless him, follows.
"Are you OK?" He asks.
"Yeah. I'm fine" I state as I put the bottles down on the counter, "You having fun?"
"Of course, your friends are great!" He states, "I don't often get a relaxed night out!"
"Good" I turn to look at him. I know what's coming and I can't hold it back. I know its the drink that's opening the flood gates and despite all my efforts my emotions pour out. I start by shaking, then the occasional tear slips down my cheeks.
"Wow, wow, its ok" He declares approaching me and taking me into his arms. I stand there for a moment and just cry. I rarely if ever do this. I never cried when my grandparents died. I didn't shed a tear during my parents divorce but now, my guard is completely down and it comes flooding out. I hated myself afterwards for it. Ian stood there like a pillar, holding me and comforting me, "I cant imagine what your going through" he starts, "but fuck me your handling it well!" I naturally snort at this breaking our embrace a moment and wiping my face of all the by products of crying, "We don't have to back if you don't want to" he says reassuringly. I look at him, my usual composure returning.
"So your staying here?" I ask mockingly.
"Well... I kinda assumed" I smile at his sudden bashfulness and take his hand in mine.
"I'm having a great time! Let's go back for an hour or so and then we can make our escape!" I instruct with a knowing smile. His eyes sparkle lustfully. I'm suddenly struck by an overwhelming desire to kiss him, and I do. It was great.
Moments later we're returning to the pub with a cheer from the others. We have however gathered another. In the fifteen minutes Lee had arrived. Ah. Lee introduces himself to Ian. His tone is somewhat awkward but Ian doesn't detect anything untoward and I announce in a bout of stupid generosity I'm buying the next round. Another cheer fills the pub and the drinks are ordered. I do have to stipulate certain things are banned, champagne and any bottles of wine over £5 are banned... my friends ever the entrepreneurs.
The revelry continues, I discuss Ian with the girls, whilst Ian is informed of further embarrassing stories from my past. Lee all the while remains quite distant and quiet. Eventually I announce I need a smoke and picking up my glass of Shiraz. I know what your thinking but hell I like the guy... I head out the back. Lee follows. I remind myself as I hold the door open for him I have nothing to be ashamed of, however I still feel a little awkward.
"So Ian" Lee announces, his tone somewhat aggressive.
"Yeah, great isn't he" I say as I spark out. Lee just looks at me and I find myself blushing for some reason.
"When did you meet him?"
"This morning, in the hospital with my mum" I'm starting to sense Lee's a little pissed off. I leave the comment hanging in the air.
"I... I'm sorry to hear about your mum" He says eventually.
"Thanks" I reply taking a deep drag and exhaling a large cloud of smoke into the air.
"So where does this... where does this leave us?" He asks eventually. I'm not surprised by the comment, but a little annoyed.
"What do you mean, what about us?" I feel a little bad by my nonchalance but hell he's the one with the girlfriend. What am I meant to do, wait around for him to grow a pair of bollocks. Even if he already had a substantial pair. I look at Lee and he seems hurt, "What do you want me to do Lee?"
He stands near the picnic tables. Hands thrust into his pockets. He shrugs. "Exactly" I say, "I like you, hell I really like you but I have to ask myself... will I be happy as your slut" The last word hangs in the air. He doesn't meet my eye, "I'm sorry Lee, in another time, another life or whatever you want to think maybe..." I begin to wonder what I'm saying. I'm talking like Ian is my future and my everything. I'd learned enough during my years up north to not hedge all my bets on one hen but I wasn't about to risk anything with Ian. He was a nice guy, kind, caring, hot... hell what else could I want at a time like this.
"Fine" Lee declares and storms back into the pub, as he enters Ian brushes past him. He takes out a cigarette and lights up. His eyes are a little drink sodden but he looks cut his black curls falling cutely around his ears.
"Everything all right?"
I can't help but smile at him, "Of course. He's just a little shocked with... well everything... I'll explain sometime but right now come here" I'm sat upon the picnic table and I invite him to come closer. He approaches me and leans against the table. We don't say anything, we're just happy to be near each other I guess. Then he musses up my hair.
"Oh you bastard!" I declare in mock anger.
"Your so cute angry"
"Glad you think so" I reach up and grab the neck of his T-Shirt and drag him down for a brief but passionate kiss.
"Ahem" James has appeared at the doorway
"Busted" Ian mutters as he leans back. I turn to my friend with a questioning expression.
"We're getting a last round want one?" James asks. The pair of us instantly say yes. Nodding James leaves us alone. Both Ian and I are blushing. He's so cute.
"You've got great friends!" Ian states, his hand finds the side of my face and rubs my cheek. I'm incredibly aroused by this tender moment its almost ludicrous.
"That can be debatable!" I joke making an attempt to stand after stubbing out my cigarette. However a certain part of my anatomy is making this difficult, "Bloody thing" Laughing Ian reaches down and grabs my turgid cock and pops it under the waist band of my pants.
"I wouldn't say that" he says with a lust filled tone. Giggling we both return to the bar and realise we're both being eyed by the group. We pretend as if we don't notice and take a seat. Eventually our final round turns into two and then three, and before any of our group realise it's closing hour and we're forced to leave much to James's disapproval.
Once again as a group we're drunk and lingering about the car park. Much to my amusement Ian is accosted by the girls, each wanting to take him home. However in a drunken manner he declines their offers and insists he has to make sure I get home all right. This is met with great disapproval by girls, however I'm quite happy with the situation. I notice in the corner of my eye Lee is not at all. I also note James who is watching Lee quite carefully. I cant help but wonder what the hell have I got myself into.
Ian is suddenly beside me, holding my hand, and all my worries melt away, as I look into his glistening eyes. Is it possible to feel like this about someone after such a short period of time. Is this... dare I say it... love at first sight. We eventually say our goodbyes and walk away.
In moments both Ian and I are at my house. Yet those few brief moments were amazing. He walked alongside me the whole way, his hands were first about my shoulders but gradually moved further south down my back and eventually rested in the back pocket of my trousers groping my ass. The moment we were indoors he had me pinned against the fireplace again and was kissing me deeply. I was in totally awe and surrendered myself totally to his probing tongue. He held me there for what seemed like hours before he eventually broke away from me. We were both equally out of breath and I couldn't help but laugh. I just realised the thing I liked about him most was his aggressive sexuality. He was so friendly and carefree yet sexually he was demanding. I offer him a glass of wine, which he accepts, but I don't even get to the door of the kitchen before he's pinning me against the door frame in another passionate kiss. This time I have to push him off for air and also I now really need another glass of wine!
"Want something to eat?" I ask as I pour the wine. Ian's now taken a seat at the kitchen table. I note how he doesn't sit on my mums chair. I like that for some reason. He nods. Brilliant I think, now I'm cooking for him, got to make it good! "right its cheese and crackers" I say producing a huge block of my favourite Wensleydale with Cranberries. He laughs clearly thinking I was about to embark on a disastrous drunken cooking armada. Too many years drunk up north had taught me otherwise.
I am a good cook, a really good cook if I say so myself, except right now all I want is to sober up a bit and fucking fuck. Crude I know, but a guy has needs. We sit sharing the Shiraz scoffing cheese and crackers whilst discussing the night. I have to spend some time explaining my marginally eccentric antics as a kid. My parents had owned all the way through my childhood right up to the divorce six year ago an amazing place. It was my home and I tell him now that there will never be a home for me except that place. It was true. It was an enormous old home set in 2 acres of garden that my mum had cultivated into different gardens. It was also situated at the heart of a massive council estate. It was a veritable Addams family house. This ancient building some six hundred years old surrounded by the ill considered constructions of the sixties. When I explain the place to some they are immediately bored but Ian is, seemingly, mesmerized. I recite the adventures I had with my self there, battling trolls in the cave, or talking with elves in the ruins. I had an amazing childhood I tell him despite the lack of parents. My mum was a big shot designer working away almost all the time and my dad run her businesses. I was pretty much left alone from the age of eight and after I went to boarding school... my imagination was fuelled by books and art. The conversation gradually comes to mum. She had been a massive inspiration to me, driving me forward, always pushing me to succeed in anything I wanted to do. I was drink riddled and animated and he listened and watched and laughed and smiled. Then my steam died, remembering the events of the day.
Instantly Ian changed the topic, he begins regaling me with his childhood antics. How he spent his earlier years perving on next doors gardener, how he purposefully acquired an interest in motorbikes because of him yet it was never to be. The gardener was like seventeen when he was twelve. He told me how he used to hide in the garden and read Men's Health Magazine. Then he went on to tell me about when he came out to his parents, and their subsequent kicking him out. He told me of the year he lived on the streets before he was housed with an amazing family. I learn his step mum was a nurse and she inspired him to go back to school and become a nurse. I also learn she died shortly before he graduated as a qualified nurse. I am suddenly profoundly grateful for everything my parents were and did for me. I make a solemn oath to myself to speak to my dad more. I decide now is a good time to finish the bottle of wine. I pour us an equal measure and make a toast to "true mothers". We clink glasses and look at each other.
"Film?" I offer
"Sure" He adds. Taking his hand in mine I lead him to my bedroom. We both, quite drunk, flop down onto the bed looking at each other. My head resting on his arm. "we're not going to watch a film are we?" He asks already knowing the answer. I shake my head childishly. He leans in and we kiss. It's the most tender and hungry kiss we shared. Our tongues explored each other's mouths, and I press my body against his. We roll over and all of a sudden I have him pinned beneath me. I proclaim triumph before he flings me with surprising strength back onto the bed. Declaring he wont be beaten so easily he starts to unbutton my shirt. In my happy drink riddled phase I have to succumb to his demands.
Before I know it I'm topless and find this very unfair and start unbuttoning his shirt. I take my time, grinning like a lunatic. I can tell by the growing bulge in his jeans he's enjoying himself.
My hands move gradually up his body feeling as I go. He isn't as defined as I expected but he is more than hot. My fingers explore his lower abdomen relishing the feel of his skin. When I eventually get to removing the whole shirt I am surprised to find he has no chest hair. I'm not disappointed just surprised. I look at his face and he's beaming, the type of happy smile that makes me playfully tweak one of his nipples. His face contorts appreciatively and he leans in for a kiss. His body slips down mine and I feel his hot skin against mine. We then stop to take our shoes and socks off. It seems strange to watch this as I don't have a foot fetish but I'm obsessed with guys who keep their socks on. In my experience they don't last and I'm really pleased to find he takes his off.
We return to kissing each other in a variety of different positions. I cant get enough of him. After a while I start to fumble with his belt and jeans. It ends up he has to help. He's wearing the sexiest briefs, black with diagonal white stripes. They do everything for him. His hard cock is accentuated in a beneficial way by the thin white lines. I almost lunge at them but he pins me down playfully and starts to remove my trousers. Much to my shame he handles the fastenings expertly. We're both naked but for our underwear, his the sexy black number with the cunning white lines and me with my tight superhero pants. I feel somewhat childish but this doesn't stop him. He's immediately on top of me again, his crotch in my face and my arms pinned away from either of our bodies. The smell of him fills my nostrils and I long for a taste. He has a sexy musky smell. I being to lick at his turgid shaft from my prone position whilst maintaining eye contact. His eyes glittered with lust.
Eventually wanton lust forces him to release my arm and pull down his underwear and tucking them beneath his nuts. I'm faced with a long and slender cock, capped by a pointed mushroom head, the foreskin still hugging it half way. He moves his bubble butt so I get a better access to it and I swallow it happily. It's length penetrating my mouth hungrily. He face fucks me for a moment or so still pinning me down but I don't argue. Then he pulls his member free from my lips and slips down my body. Tugging at my boxers waistband relinquishing my dick and he devours it. He expertly sucks on me and find myself compelled to holding his head as he does so. I relish the sensation as his lips cling to the shaft of my cock as he moves from tip to base and base to tip. The sensation is incredible and I think I'm close to cumming. Somehow realising this he detaches and slowly moves to face me.
"I want to fuck you Alex Moon. I want to be inside you!" He whispers. Ordinarily I would have laughed at such a statement but here and now I find myself compelled to offer myself up to him. I reach over my head into a small embroidered box and hand him a tube of lube. He flips me over and slowly kisses his way down my body, starting behind my ears. Almost aggressively he whips my underwear further down and I feel his strong hands upon my ass cheeks. He slowly parts them and I feel the soft warmth of his tongue against my anus. Instantly my back arches and I'm lost to the sensations of him rimming me. Huge waves of pleasure flood my body and I can feel my cock throb. Eventually he stops and I hear the pop of the lube's cap. I feel him spread the cold substance on to my ass, and then deeper into me. I shudder with anticipation. Seconds later I feel his cock slicked cock head pressing against my hole. I try and relax as he penetrated me, and I welcome the intrusion relishing the full sensation. He lays his body gently against mine and feel his hot breath upon my right ear. His rhythm was insanely slow at first and it nearly drove me wild, then his pace increased. I was now groaning uncontrollably, relishing his thrust and withdrawal. We built up a pace. He thrusting into me, and I thrusting against him. It was wild, like two dogs in heat, panting furiously. I craned my neck to kiss him and we did as his pace built and built. Soon I had no control over it and he was fucking me hard, relentlessly and most of all passionately.
"Oh fuck" He declared eventually, "Oh FUCK! Oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck!" I instantly begin thrusting harder against him. Feeling his cock begin to swell and throb. I groan as each deep probe found my prostate. It sent bolts of pleasures throughout my body and I could barely hold on. My cock, rock hard pressed against the bed began to pulse and swell. Soon bolts of my semen shot across my black bedsheets, just as his cock erupted deep inside me. However he continued to fuck the cum out of me, and both of our orgasms continued for what felt like forever before he eventually collapsed, his softening dick still inside me. He rolled off and faced up to the ceiling panting madly. I roll over and settling into his shoulder. We lay there catching our breaths before we fall asleep in each others arms.