Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. If you don't like any of the following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language, etc.
This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Please do not copy without my consent. Please practice safe sex.
Subject: I'm Not Gay? Am I? Chapter 11
I opened my dorm room door slowly. I had said silent prayers to myself the entire drive up to college that Thad was going to be some ugly nerd student. I knew no matter what he looked like this couldnt be another situation like Jeff. That would impossible. I was placed with the god of temptation last year and it couldn't possibly happen 2 yrs in a row could it?
The first thing I saw was the back of an atheletic jersey shirt as I opened the door. I felt my heart race and I worried that Thad was going to be some hot jock like Jeff. Then he turned. The first thing I remember was his skin. It was a smooth dark brown color that I saw at the nape of his neck. As I looked into his face I saw my junior year roommate, Thad Jefferson. He was officially Afican American, with a brown color almost caramel in tone. His lips were full and pillowy. Obviously one of his best traits, set on the ruggesd handsome face of a definitely strong mascualine guy. I would not say he was gorgeous, but certainly handsome. His face broke into a huge smiling of gleam white teeth and his arms reached toward me in a handshake. I felt instantly welcomed.
"Eric?!"
"Hey Thad! Great to meet you!" I said as he pumped my hand in a vigourous shake.
"Come in! Come in! Great room, huh?" he said as he stepped back and allowed me to stumble into our dorm room and drop my suitcases.
"Yeah. It's cool. Is this my bed?" I said as I gestured toward the one bed with a bare mattress.
"You can pick whatever. I can move my sheets. I don't care which side of the room I am on," he said with eager kindness. I could tell already he had a sweetnness about him that was a contrast to his big masculine frame.
"No no, it's cool. I dont care either. I will take this one. I just want to get unpacked and settled in," I said as I started to move other boxes into the room that I had left in the hallway.
"I'm surprised you are here. You said in your email you were coming Friday," Thad said,
"Yeah. Sorry. Change of plans. I just needed to get away from home," I said, with images of Josh in his bedroom window in my mind.
"It's cool. Better you are here since the dorm is still so quiet. Gives us a chance to hang out and get to know each other better," he said as he lowered himself to his mattress and gestured for me to sit down on mine to talk. I hadn't wanted to face him yet since I was still unsure of the chemistry between us. But I felt weird avoiding his request to talk so I dropped the box in my hand and sat on my bed across from him. I finally faced my roommate.
He was bigger than me. I couldn't tell immediately what his body was like, but his frame was so large I figured he must workout. His hair was cut extremely short close to the scalp, and his smile seemed to be the most charismatic part about him. He would definitely be a target for the women on campus. Nothing about him read gay, not that I was an expert at that. But he seemed to be cool and confident.
Our conversation went easy. I found out he was a jock in high school into basketball, football, and wrestling. He had a girlffriend he had been dating for over a year, and he came from a rather poor side of Chicago, but had been offered a full scholarship due to his high grade point and sports background. I felt comfortable around him and with each passing minute I became more relaxed. This was not the nightmare I had last year with Jeff. This was a good guy who was friendly, decent, and someone I could live with minus the sexual tension.
The rest of the afternoon we worked together unpacking all of our belongings and creating a comfortable guys dorm room. The year ahead of me felt like the new start I wanted and needed. As I tossed my last box in the garbage room dumpster I walked back to my dorm room and said a tiny prayer of thanks that finally this was the college experience I had hoped for.
When I came into our room things changed a bit though. Like always. This first thing I noticed was the darkness of his skin. He was not jet black, but instead more of a dark brown. It was the first time I got a look at all of his skin. Thad looked like an ad for male moisturizer, his skin seemed almost shiny yet not wet. It was the smoothest skin I had ever seen, except for Todd's. Yeah at that very moment Todd slipped into my mind I had done so well keeping him from my mind that I jumped a bit knowing that Thad's skin reminded me of Todd.
The whiteness of Thad's briefs glared a stark white contrast against his skin. His back was too me and I realized he had stripped down to nothing but his underwear. It was first time my eyes dropped to his ass, encased in the tight bright white fabric that barely seemed to hold in his round curved muscular ass. His ass was high and taunt, tight with muscle and the back of his thick thighs was more of that smooth skin. Even his calves were hairless. When he turned I held my breath as I took in the view of his chest that bulged with muscled pecs. His chest was different than Jeff's which was tight and leaner. Thad was a thick muscled black guy with pecs like pillows of muscles, and a flat stomach but not as lined with abs as Jeff. I tried to not look for the outline of his cock in the briefs, but from a quick glance I could not avoid seeing that he fulfilled the generalization of a well hung black man. I guess I finally knew Thad definitely worked out.
Unlike Jeff, my knees didn't buckle seeing my new roommate almost naked. Not because he wasn't as attractive as Jeff, because he certainly was in an entirely different way. But with Jeff, well Jeff oozed sex. With everyone Jeff talked to it seemed he emitted a light that drew people to his body, his chest, his cock. But Thad wasnt like that. He was a masculine man standing before me casually and didn't act like he wanted me to worship his body. He was just so natural standing there I knew he was nothing more than man's man, confident in himself and oblivious to the stares of another guy at him. I turned away and he told me he was headed to the shower. I acknowledged his comment and focused my energy away from him. But when he pulled down his briefs before he wrapped his towel around his waist to go, I did turn and look. I had to see the final component off what I would be facing daily.
His black cock rested on significant balls. To be honest the largest balls I had ever seen on man. They were dark and hairless and hung low. His thick limp cock seemd to hang to mid thigh. I stared and thought he must be 9 inches hard. Tingles went through my crotch as he wrapped the towel around himself and strolled out of our room.
That was the begininng of my first day on campus for my junior year. I actually handled it pretty well. No I did not fall onto my bed and jack off a load dreaming of Thad's cock. No I did not run from the room all freaked out. Instead I realized I would have to face this temptation but something in me held me in place. Thad was just as hot in many ways but he wasn't trying to seduce me or make me worship his body. Plus something else was stopping me. I had submitted to my sinful desires with Josh, but since that moment I had felt an almost gag reflex when my mind went to the thought of gay sex. I even felt the taste of bile in my throat. I knew that looking at cock was disgusting. It was gay. As gay as it was to stick a cock up a guy's ass. As gay as it was to spend the night in bed with Todd. As disgusting and wrong as it was to have sex with Josh. I had crossed the line that time. It HAD to end.
So I started that day to take care of myself. Instead of handing my power over to Thad like I had done the first day with Jeff, I took charge of my life. I hit the gym that very day, turning down an invite from Thad to join him and a couple of his buddies for a game of touch football on the campus lawn. I did the gym and then focused on prepping for my first day of classes. By the next day I had secured a job at a local restaurant being a server, purchased my textbooks and read the first 3 chapters of each. I was exactly what I wanted to be, an ambitious focused college student.
Thad tried to offer a close friendship, but I held him off. I couldn't get that close again to a roommate. I needed male friends I didn't share showers with nor a room late at night when I could hear them jacking off. I needed to find friends who didn't tempt me. Thad was a great guy, but I couldn't allow him in closer. It was hard fro me to reject such a cool guy, but i needed to not submit to my temptations. Being around him more would pull me in. I know my tastes in men and having his big cock in my mouth would be hot, but gay and disgusting. Eventually Thad gave up and spent more time out of the room with his buddies or his girlfriend.
Yes I would still see him naked almost daily. And I still stole glances at his cock. I fought off my temptation though and only had minor mistakes occassionally stroking myself and wondering what his cock would taste like. I admit I had never tasted a black man, and it intrigued me. But that was for gay men too think about. Instead I focused harder on school and the gym.
It took 3 weeks into classes before I finally heard his voice behind me.
"Hey Eric." I knew immediately it was Jeff. The same casual deep voice, the same slight sarcastic tone filled with sexual energy.
Hey Jeff." I replied and turned to look at him. In the hallway the dim lighting made him seem almost latino in color. Obviously he had spent a lot of time at a beach over the summer. He looked the same way as the previous year - muscular and hot. He was wearing a v-neck white t-shirt just tight enough to reveal every muscle on his impressive chest and abs, while his loose fitting athletic shorts hid the bulge I used to worship. The calves of his tan legs showed, covered with that light cover of hair I used to stare at each morning when he would sit up in bed and swing his legs to the floor. After all those months, there we stood facing each other. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to turn and go ther other way. But I couldnn't. Despite everything Jeff had been my first true friend at college. I loved being his buddy. Hanging out with him. Laughing with him. I had missed him a lot.
"So were you never going to come by and say hi?" he said, as a smile blossomed on his face and his large hand reached over to squeeze where my shoulder and neck met.
"Wasn't sure if I should," I replied and looked away toward the hall floor.
"What? Dude. Come on, It's cool between us," he said and smiled as he casually leaned his muscled back against the wall and crossed his thick arms over that bulging chest. His pec muscles puffed up more and seem to want to pop out of his v-neck. My eyes couldn't help to stare and I felt tingles course through my body. Damn I remember feeling that chest the night in our room. When he held me up and I fucked his girlfriend in front of him. I had ran my hands all over his chest and I wanted to do it again.... But I would never. I could never again!
"Yeah well, I have been busy. Taking a full load of classes, plus working and doing workstudy pretty much takes up all my time," I replied, and looked at the deepest part of his v-neck more. The smooth bulging pecs were spilling out of his shirt.
"I hear ya. But you should come by and see the old room. Leo is cool to hang with too," he said.
"Sure. How's it going with Leo?"
"He's cool. Never around much though. He's dating Rebecca Simmons. Remember her?"
"Yeah. Tell him I said hi. I will stop by sometime," I said and started to take steps forward. I needed to walk away from him.
"So how is Thad? You guys getting along ok?"
"How did you know I was living with Thad?" I asked as I stopped and looked back at Jeff.
"Oh I heard around. He is pretty cool. I've seen him in the gym. Damn that is a big boy!" I wasn't sure if he was referring to Thad's body or cock.
"Yeah he is a nice guy. We don't hang out much though. He has a girlfriend he is usually with," I said, unsure of how to reply.
"Then I bet you must be sick of hearing them fucking in bed every night, huh?" he laughed.
"Nah. She hastn'ty stayed over yet. So it's cool."
"Well, if you ever need a place to escape, our sofa is always available," he said, and winked at me. I turned and started to walk away because I couldn't respond to that.
"Hey, are you mad at me?" Jeff said and grabbed my bicep to hold me in place.
"No, why would I be?" I quickly replied and tried to pull my arm from his grip.
"Come here," he said and pulled me into the empty classroom next to us and shut the door with his other hand.
In the dim room his hands gripped my shoulders and he stepped close enough that the mint smell of his breath filled my nostrils. His eyes stared into mine and I was held into place less by his grip and more by the closeness of him to me.
In a whisper he said, "Eric. I told you it would be our secret. I shouldn't have said anything on the phone, but I wanted you to know I know and it's cool. You are my friend." His words were sincere and he looked into my eyes for a reply.
"Let go!" I said violently twisting my torso from his grip on my shoulders and grabbed for the door handle, anxious to get away from him.
""ERIC! Stop it!" He said and slammed his sneakered foot against the door and blocked it from being opened.
His grip on my shoulders returned. We were back in the same position. Face to face. Our mouths only inches apart. His muscled chest so close that when he inhaled his pecs almost touched mine. "Eric just cool it, man. It's only us here. We're friends. You were cool to live with and we had fun. If you dont want to come out yet, fine. But with me you got nothing to worry about. You can be yourself around me now."
At that moment we stared even deeped into each other's eyes. I was confused, unsure about what he was trying to say to me. He was just so close. Our faces only inches from each other. His hands on my biceps holding me. Even our legs almost touching. It felt like he was trying to do something more thna offer friendship. I wanted to pull away but a p art of me wanted throw myself into his arms and just be with my friend again. But if I touched him I would want more. I would do more. And I coouldn't. Never.
Our faces drew closer and I closed my eyes fearing and yet wanting a kiss. As I parted my lips I wished for his tongue to enter my mouth but instead I felt his warm breath and then the side of his cheek touch mine. His arms drew me into into a masculine hug and I gulped back my fear. My arms moved involuntarily and I reached up and embraced him and we pressed together, our pecs firmly together, our waists touching, even our knees bumping. I was in the deep huggest I had ever shared with Jeff and it felt nice. His hands caressed my back and I felt a rush of excitement pour through me. I rub his muscled back as he rubbed my mine. Men dont hug and rub backs. But there we were in that silent class room hugging and his hands moved up and down my back caressing me. My hands returned each of his carresses and I remembered how he had felt that night naked against me. I wanted him. I wanted Jeff and I couldn't help it. He was so strong and handsome and full of sex. My knees shook with excitement and I lost control. My hips moved forward and I ground myself into his crotch finally feeling that familiar thick limp cock of his pressing though his shorts against my now ridge cock stuffed inside my jeans.
It last only a few seconds. I felt the slightest returned push as our cocks ground together, but as fast as it started it disappeared. His hands fell from my back and gripped my waist pushing me back from him. Laughter erupted from his throat and I watched in slow motion as his hand reached over and squeezed my obviously hard cock outlined in my jeans. I stood before him in embarassment and shock!
"Dude, say what you want. Bi, gay, straight, whatever you are! All I know is that I still make you hard!" His laughted displayed how proud he was of himself. He loved it. Jeff loved anyone who wanted him. "Sorry dude, I dont play that way, but thanks for the obvious compliment," he said as he put his hands on his hips and nodded toward my erection. I couldn't even defend myself as I stood there before him with my hard cock bulging my jeans obscenely.
"You see dude. I don't care. It will be our secret. Damn I missed you, buddy," he said and he gripped me in a bear hug again and slapped me on the back. This hug was a distant manly hug that established us a buddies and nothing more. He released me and opened the classroom door, then looked back and said, "Come over Friday night. Leo and I are having a party. You can meet my new girlfiend too." And the door closed behind him and I was left in the dark classroom filled with silence.
I stood there, and my cock pulsated with desire. All my hard work had melted with one encounter with Jeff. He still had power over me. I was as worthless and stupid around him as I had been a year ago.
My cock wouldn't go down. I knew the only relief would be to cum. I wanted to shoot the cum from my body. I wanted to grip my hard cock again. So I moved my bag on my back to the front to block my bulge and left the classroom. I escaped out a side door and strode across one of the lawns taking a short cut back to my dorm. By the time I got to the room my straining cock was still so hard and I coouldnt wait to release it from my jeans. I struggled and put the key in my door and opened it.
The door opened silently and at that precise momeent I heard the moans of ecstacy as I saw Thad's round curved smooth bubble ass flex before me. I knew he was releasing his own cum as his bod y shook and his deep voice said "fuck yes". Wrapped around his body were a girls legs and he shoved forward obviously dumpoing his cum in his last thrust into this girl on her back on his bed. Neither had heard me entre nor see me staring at their climax. I stood in the door way, my mouth open as I saw him shudder and heard he moan. Finally after several seconds hies hips pulled back as if in slow motion. His body turned slightly and I had the perfect view of his long brown cock slowly pulling out of the girl laid naked on the bd with her legs spread wide. Cum dripped from the head of his cock and it oozed from her wet pussy lips...
"Shit!" Thad said as he caught sight of me in his eyes. He grabbed up a towel to cover himself and stepped in front of his naked girlfriend. I turned quickly and tossed my book bag to the floor, grabbed my towel and ran out the door, slamming it behind me.
In the shower room I knew I only had seconds before my cum woould be blasting out of my body. I could hear the showers running but I had no choice. Release was inevitable. I tore my clothes off and let them fall to the floor and ran into the communal shower area with my towel covering my stiff cock.
There in the corner stood Nate.
Nate was one guy on my dorm floor who I hated. He was gay. Totally out and proud. A pride sticker on his door. Posters of hot guys on his dorm room walls. A proud gay guy. Not feminine. But very very gay. Probably the most out guy I had ever met in my life. I knew he was gay the second he arrived to move onto the dorm floor that year, with his boyfriend carrying his boxes. The second I saw them I turned and went the other way. He represented everything I feared that may be inside me. And now after these weeks of successfully avoiding his faggot ass there he was in the shower that same fucking day I had run in there with my cock engorged with hardness! I wanted to turn and run, but it was too late. The towel did not fully hide me, so there was not point to back out now.
"Hey!" He said staring at the towel that only covered part of my straining cock. His smile showed that he was well aware of my situation. Without hesitation he reached over and pulled the towel from my hands. My cock sprung out, rock hard and pulsing with desire. I stepped into the corner where the view was entirely blocked so if other guys entered the restroom they would not be able to see me unless they were in the shower also.
I saw movement at Nate's crotch and looked down to see his limp cock was jumping in excitement. Nate was cute in many ways and definitely had a lean muscled budy. But I had never seen him naked. He was smooth and not a single pubic hair. His cock seemed to instantly double in size and stretch out, pointing at me as if asking me to touch it. He stepped into the corner of the showers with me I reached and felt the smoothness of his cock and balls. He returned the same gesture and I closed my eyes and shook. The feeling of a hand encasing my hard cock was exquisite. His lips kissed my neck and I wrapped my body against him. I no longer was in control. The fight was over. I had dont so well, but Jeff and Thad were too much. I needed this. Our mouths met and I kissed the stranger in my arms. When I opened my eyes he stared into me smiling and said, "I won't tell my boyfriend if you don't." He laughed and lowered kissing down my neck and then aross my left pec sucking my nipple into his warm mouth. My hands ran through his hair as he licked my entire chest and sunk lowered. I wanted it so when he sucked my hard cock into his mouth I eagerly gripped his head and began to fuck his face. I thought of Jeff so close to me back in that classroom. And at that same instant I saw Thad in my my mind. NAked and hard with cum dripping off of his beautiful cock. Fuck I wanted him too. I opned my eyes to see Nate below sucking my cock and I loved it. I no longer cared because I knew I was going to cum. It might as well be into a willing mouth.
It didnt take long. The only sound was the water splashing from the shower as I gripped the sides of Nate's head and used him. Like I used to use Steven. It didnt even feel gay to me. I wanted to cum and I was willing to shove my dick into any hole at that moment. Thankfully Nate was more than eager to take care of me. I shot my hot thick cum deep into his throat and watched as he gulped and swallowing my sizzling cum.
Once I had finished he stood up quickly and embraced me. I stood frozen in place and looked down at his hard cock and saw it rub against my body. It was only seconds and it erupted blasting up my chest and coating down my abs. As he stepped back thhe cum slide down and encased my cock and balls.
I stepped away and stood under the hot jets of water pouring from a showerhead, shoving the cum from my body. When I glanced at him smile on his face showed his pleasure at conquering me. Before he stepped out of the showers he looked at me and said, "Thanks Eric. Anytime you want more, just knock on my door." And he was gone.
I stood in those showers and wondered what this life was about. I had lasted 3 weeks. Only 3 weeks back at college before I had turned to a man. It is geting harder and harder for me to figure this out. How can I be straight and this keep happening to me? How could I have fucked Nate's mouth and not be gay?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Eric has tried to control his feelings but no matter where he turns men are there tempting him. His perfect college life seems to be slipping form his control. But he is determined to build a happy college existence. Read the next chapter and finf out who turns out to become the friend he has always longed for. I hope you will
stick around and continue to enjoy some pleasure like I do when I write about Eric. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever. Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com.
Thanks again for all of the feedback guys. You have been the best readers, and I hope this chapter gave you a lot of pleasure. I hope you will read more and continue to enjoy some pleasure like I do when I write about Eric. You can email with your comments, questions, or whatever. Send them to mheast111@hotmail.com.