Imperfection by John K. Perkins Jr. Edited by Zeke Sitkoff Always open to comments/criticism (constructive/otherwise) Email me! jokerpajamas@gmail.com Or add me on MSN! john@randomnet.org
---------- Ch. 2: Wes ----------
I'd had a few boyfriends. None of them lasted, though, because I made sure they knew that if I ever got my chance with Aiden, I'd drop everything for him, and that wasn't something that most people wanted to hear.
The only exception to that had been Jake, and I knew he was trying his hardest to pretend that it didn't bother him - I knew it did. He blamed his tendency to randomly burst out into tears on his family life, but I knew better. I let him go after a few incidents. He was the sweetest guy I'd ever met.
I had tried so hard to get over Aiden in those 6 months I was with Jake, and I did love him - I really did - but I didn't want to hurt him anymore.
I will never forget the look on his face when I ended it all, when I dashed the relationship on the rocks, never to be recovered again. He looked as if someone had just socked him very, very hard in the stomach. And then the tears. It broke my heart. I hated myself. The only thing I could mumble as he left my house was a pathetic, "I'm sorry..."
A few months later, he told me he was over me, and we became friends again. He was really the only person I had to talk to about my feelings for Aiden. So he sat, for hours at a time, listening to me go on, and on about Aiden this, Aiden that. He said it was because he wanted to be a good friend, but I knew, deep down, he still loved me. And maybe someday, I thought, if I ever got my chance with Aiden, and it didn't work out, I could be with Jake again, and that would be that.
Often, I wondered if I ever would get my chance. I had noticed that there were aspects of his personality that led me to believe he wasn't straight. There were plenty of little things he did. Like his hair. He always had to have his hair looking completely perfect, with literally no room for error. There had been times where he refused to leave the house if his hair didn't look right. I'd pretend to pick on him about it, but in all honesty, that was one more thing on the already very large list of things I loved about him.
Part of me thought he already knew, and didn't mind. The other part of me knew he was oblivious, and wondered if he would hate me or not.