Title: In Another Life. Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. If you are underage for your area, if it is illegal for you to view such material or if you are opposed to two men in a loving situation then this story is not for you either.
*** Part 11
Kyle woke later that evening to a low rumble. For a moment he forgot where he was and wondered whose bed he had ended up in, it was not until he saw the heavy silver watch worn around it and the mask tattooed on the arm that he realised who it was. When the rumble came again Kyle realised that it was his stomach that was making the noise.
The arm wrapped around Kyle moved slightly, shifting down his body, and rubbed Kyle's stomach.
Kyle realised that Alex was either awake or groping him in his sleep.
"You want to get up and find some food?" Alex asked as he sat up and stretched. Kyle saw that Alex had taken off his shirt and was down to his wifebeater, as he stretched he had a good view of the lean hardness of Alex's back and arms. It seemed a crime that Alex should wear clothes, to cover his well toned body was unfair because it deprived the world of a work of art that deserved to be admired. "Kyle?" Alex asked pulling him out of his reverie.
"Sure." Kyle replied. "I should probably put some clothes on though." He said as he realised that he was still only in his swimming trunks. Alex smiled.
"I don't know." Alex replied with a smile. "I kinda like you dressed like that."
Kyle blushed and pulled on the T-shirt that had been folded next to the bed. He stepped around Alex, who was intent on watching him, and pulled on beach shorts too. If Alex had not been there he would have dressed properly but he did not want to get naked in order to change out of his swimming togs. He supposed that if they went in the pool at least this way he would not have to change again.
Alex waited for Kyle to finish dressing before leaving the room sure that Kyle would follow. Kyle took a moment to check himself in the mirror and then went out to the Kitchen.
Kevin was seated at the table reading a paper and clearly trying not to watch Jonny too closely. Kyle saw that his brother was drawing a picture unaware that he was being watched.
"Hey kiddo, did you save me any dinner?" Kyle asked as he took a seat next to Jon. The half empty bowl of fruit next to him told him that Jon had eaten and was on dessert.
"We had nuggets." Jon said solemnly. "I think we ate them all though. You can have some of my fruit."
"Thanks, but I think I might get something." Kyle replied. "I don't want to steal your fruit, or else you won't grow up to be big and strong."
"Like my daddy." Jon said proudly. Kyle smiled. He was glad that the trauma of earlier was behind then for the moment and that Jon was smiling again.
"Kev, you eaten?" Kyle asked as he rooted through the refridgerator, pulling out various things and putting them aside.
"We had nuggets." Kevin replied with a small smirk.
Kyle laughed and grabbed a knife cutting the cheese and peppers that he had taken from the fridge.
"You want an omelette Alex?" He asked as he finished his slicing and dicing and started to beat the eggs.
"Sure." Alex replied with a small smile, wondering when Kyle had learned to cook. He knew the answer of course. Kyle had grown up quickly when his brother was born and had spent the last few years raising him. That much was obvious from the relationship that the pair of them shared. Sometimes he wished that he could see something of the boy he had known, but at times like this he much preferred the older, more responsible version of Kyle. This was the one that he had fallen in love with.
The revelation hit Alex. He wasn't sure when his attraction had gotten that deep but it was not a thought that scared him. If anything it warmed his heart. He had been alone too long and so had Kyle. He hoped that together they could make a difference in each other's lives.
"Okay sport." Kevin said as he sensed a change in the atmosphere between Alex and Kyle. "If you're finished with dessert, it's time for your bath."
"I don't want a bath." Jon replied as he continued to colour in his drawing.
"You'll end up all stinky." Kyle retorted sagely. "Like Mrs. Delaney at number 52."
"Nu uh." Jon returned. "She's old and has a billion cats. That's why she's stinky."
"No. It's because she doesn't ever take a bath." Kyle threw back.
Jon turned in his chair, looking at his brother as if to gauge whether or not what he was saying was true, when he saw the certainty on Kyle face he let out a put upon sigh and slid from his chair.
"Okay." Jon said. "But only because I don't like cats."
Alex had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at that, the wisdom of a six year old was enough to make him smile, he supposed that he would have to get used to such frankness with Jonny around.
"You want cheese in your omelette?" Kyle asked as he started to put the ingredients together to make the simple meal. He nodded, reaching out to steal a piece of pepper from Kyle's chopping board, and wondered if this level of domesticity would continue if they got together. The thought was not something that made him recoil as he thought it would.
Kyle swatted Alex's hand away and went back to cooking completely unaware of the plans that were brewing in Alex's mind.
Kevin returned to the Kitchen after bathing Jon and putting him to bed. While he read a story to his son he was thinking over the day in his head. A lot had happened and he realised that it would probably be a few days before the impact of it all sank in. Not only had he argued with Josh but he was going to have to have a word with Alex about his intentions towards Kyle.
Kyle was young and probably impulsive. Alex was older, wiser and known for his promiscuity. Usually it was not a problem that Alex was into one night stands - he and his partners both knew that it was going to be nothing more than that and it was consensual and fun. The problem was that Kyle was more than just a random stranger at a club, or a fan who had snuck backstage. Kyle was going to be a part of Kevin and Jon's lives for the foreseeable future and it would be hard if he could not be in the same room as AJ.
As far as his own lovelife was concerned Kevin was more than a little baffled about what to do. He had not told Josh about his son because he knew that the other man was on tour and it was not the kind of conversation that he wanted to have with him over the phone. On the other hand Josh had not been calling him recently and Kevin knew that they were not always exclusive when they were touring. Jonathan had had far too much upheaval in his life for an unstable relationship and Kevin would rather be a single parent for the next 12 years that risk hurting his son. The matter of the assault on Kyle just rubbed salt into an already open wound. If Kevin forgave Josh it would cause a rift between he and Kyle, let alone the message that it would send to his son.
Kevin realised that no matter what he did neither was going to be an issue that would be solved overnight.
With a gentle sigh he left Jon to sleep. He was glad that at least one of them would sleep well that night.
Alex and Kyle had eaten their meal in silence, each lost in thought over their budding relationship. Kyle wondered what Alex wanted from him, if this was some pity fuck or if the other man truly wanted him. Alex was wondering how best to make the next step without scaring Kyle away. Neither one of them appeared to want to make the first move.
Alex was the one who finally spoke.
"That was great." He said, referring to the food that he had just devoured. "You're a good cook."
"Thanks." Kyle replied. "Mom always joked that I would make a good wife someday."
"Did she know?" Alex found himself asking. "That you're gay?"
"Mom probably knew before I did." Kyle answered. "In some of her more sober moments she was really supportive, of course her boyfriends weren't always so open-minded."
"Sorry." Alex said, he hadn't meant to open another old wound. It seemed that there were a lot of them.
"No, it's okay." Kyle said. "I'm over it now."
Alex knew from bitter experience that pain did not work that way. He had thought that he was coping fine until it came to his grandmother's death and then all the old pains and insecurities had risen to the surface again. He knew that the same thing could happen to Kyle but could do nothing but be there for him if and when it happened.
"So, what were you planning on doing this evening?" Alex asked, trying to change the subject. "We could watch a DVD or something if you haven't got plans."
"That'd be cool." Kyle answered. He didn't want to appear too eager but he could hardly say that he had plans. Kyle didn't have a lot of friends and those that he did have probably wouldn't want to see him right now.
"Do you want to watch it in your room?" Alex asked, feeling like he was 15 again and on his first date. Kyle was only six years younger than him but he didn't know how experienced the kid was and the last thing that he wanted to do was rush into anything. From the smile that spread across Kyle's face he realised that the other man was not as inexperienced as he had first thought.
"Sure." Kyle said.
They ended up missing most of the movie because they were making out on the couch. Kyle invited Alex to stay too but he knew he should head home before things started to get too serious too quickly. AJ kissed Kyle goodbye at the door and then turned to leave.
He should have known that Kevin would be waiting for him in the family room.
Kevin hadn't meant to stake out Kyle's room. He had started out just relaxing with a glass of wine and a good book but after hearing the laughter and conversation from Kyle's room he decided to wait to see if Alex was going to stay.
When he heard Alex saying his farewells he wondered if he should give the pair of them some privacy but knew that he and Alex would have to talk sooner or later about his intentions towards Kyle. Kevin supposed that sooner was better as it would mean that they could both lay their cards on the table and be honest about how they felt.
"Everything alright?" Alex asked as he entered the family room and saw Kevin sitting in the dark with a half drunk glass of wine in his hand and a discarded book at his side. "Did the little one get off to sleep okay?"
"Jon is fine." Kevin said offhandedly. "I'm more worried about Kyle at the moment."
Alex let out a sigh and took a seat opposite Kevin. If he was going to face the inquisition he at least wanted to be comfortable.
"I assume that I don't have to remind you that Kyle is an adult and quite capable of making decisions for himself." Alex said. Kevin shook his head.
"He's had to grow up so quickly that I am just worried that he is rushing into something with you without really thinking it through, and that you are letting him because of whatever attraction you feel." Kevin said. "I've seen you with boyfriends and girlfriends before, Alex, I know that you're not exactly known for sticking around for more than a few weeks, or more than a few hours in some cases and I don't want that for Kyle."
"Neither do I." Alex replied vehemently. "I know that my track record doesn't provide me with glowing references for future relationships but I think it is different with Kyle. That's why we're taking things slowly. That and the fact that I want him to be sure that this is for the right reasons."
"Slowly?" Kevin asked skeptically. The pair of them had been making out on Kyle's bed that afternoon when he walked in and he wasn't sure how much further it had gone after he left.
"Yes, slowly." Alex answered. "Kyle is more than just another notch on my bedpost. Frankly, I'm tired of meaningless sex and he is worth so much more than that. Now I'd better go. Can you tell Kyle I'll call him tommorow?"
"Sure." Kevin replied distractedly, still thinking over what Alex had said. AJ took the chance to leave while Kevin was still thinking things over.
Kevin sat there for a long while thinking things over before he headed to bed that night. He had his own relationship issues too and he supposed that he should concentrate on those. Alex was right, at least for the moment Kyle could look out for himself.
Kevin knew that he ought to call Josh as he had promised he would but it was not going to be easy to explain to him that he had found out he had a son while JC had been on tour. Explaining Kyle would also mean talking to his lover about parts of his past that Kevin had kept hidden from all but his band mates. The affair with Julia was not one of his crowning moments and he had wanted to put it behind him. The problem with burying your past is that it usually comes back to haunt you.
He knew that if he wanted to talk to his lover then now would be the best time because Kyle was still there full time to look after Jon and Josh had a few days off before he returned to the studio. It was just hard knowing how to start the conversation.
Kevin decided that it was best to start with a hello, and try to go from there. Picking up the phone he dialed the familiar number and waited for it to connect.
"Hello?" Josh answered, his voice sounding as if he had run for the phone. "Kevin?"
"I was wondering if we could meet somewhere to talk about what happened." Kevin said.
"Sure." Josh replied. "I'll come over."
"No." Kevin answered, a little too sharply. "Look, Kyle and Jon are still here and I don't think that Jon would want to see you here again too soon. How about we meet somewhere neutral?"
"I'll ask Nick if we can borrow his house." Josh replied, trying not to sound too put out that Kevin was still putting a stranger before him. They were both friends with Nick and it seemed like a good idea. Kevin realised that it would be the first time that he had seen Nick in nearly a week.
"Sure." Kevin replied. "I'll see you there in an hour."
"Kevin?" Josh asked, just as Kevin was about to hang up.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"I love you." Josh said softly and then hung up. It was obvious that he did not want a response from Kevin just yet and Kevin was glad. He wasn't 100% sure what response he would give.
Kevin pulled up outside Nick's house just over an hour later. He had not meant to be late but Jonny was a little reluctant to let him leave and it had taken some persuading to get out of the house. Kyle had promised to stay with his brother but Jon was still dealing with the attachment issues of losing his mother and nearly losing his brother. Now that there was finally a father in his life he was scared of losing him too.
Kevin realised that there were issues, and that Jon would probably need some form of therapy if he was going to ever truly get over what happened, but it was the last thing that he needed to face when he was also going to meet Josh.
His lover was waiting for him on the driveway as he stepped out of his car.
"Nick gave me the keys and said to tell you he would see you later this week." Josh said guardedly. He wanted to say so much more but was not sure how his attentions would be welcomed.
"We should go inside." Kevin replied.
Josh nodded and opened the door, leading them into the formal reception room at the front of the house and taking a seat. This was a good place to talk because it was not a room that was used often and both thought that if anything bad happened they would not have to be reminded of the conversation every time they visited Nick.
The pair sat in silence for a long moment before either one built up the courage to speak.
"Good tour?" Kevin asked, wishing that he had thought of something else to say first. It only reminded Josh that he had been away and that something had happened while he was away.
"It was okay." Josh said. "But I missed you."
Kevin sighed. He realised that he would have to start with the explanations if they were going to sort any of this out. He owed Josh an apology too.
"I guess you want to know about Kyle." Kevin said.
"Actually, not really." Josh said. He didn't want to know the details of Kevin's new lover. "You'd be surprised how little the jilted party wants to know about the new mistress."
Kevin laughed, but it was hollow.
"It's not like that." Kevin replied.
"You didn't replace me while we were on tour?" JC asked, meaning for it to be a rhetorical question.
"Actually, no." Kevin answered. "Kyle is staying in the Guest Room downstairs, and prefers Alex's company to mine."
"Then why isn't he staying with Alex?" Josh countered. He was not buying the explanation that Kyle was Alex's boyfriend because he knew that Alex had a large house of his own with plenty of spare rooms that he could have put his boytoy up in. Alex also had a large stable of both men and women who he had always been more than happy to entertain at his house.
"Kyle is staying with me so that he can be closer to Jon." Josh frowned. "Jon is the six year old that you scared half to death the other day. He is Kyle's brother."
"So?" Josh asked. "Why don't they both stay with Alex? I know that you have this Southern Hospitality thing but it doesn't mean that you have to put them up."
"You know that I'm bisexual." Kevin said in an apparent non sequiter.
Josh nodded.
"Well, I used to date Kyle's Mom."
"So, your putting them up while she's what? Out of the country? In rehab?" Josh guessed. "I still don't see why they are staying with you."
"I nearly married Julia." Kevin said. "But then she left me at the altar."
Josh's face fell into a frown of concentration as he thought back over their acquaintance, surely he would have known this about Kevin.
"It was before you knew me. It's nearly seven years."
Josh darkened as the thought hit him. Kevin nodded slowly.
"Kyle is staying with me because he wants to be with Jonny, and Jonny is with me because he is my son."
"You lied to me." Josh said as he stood and faced the window. "All these years and you never mentioned that you had another family out there. You always said that you didn't want children..."
"I didn't know until a few weeks ago that Jonathan existed. Julia walked out of my life and didn't look back. It's only recently, since she died, that I found out the truth. I should have told you, but this wasn't the sort of thing that I wanted to tell you over the phone and with the custody case and everything I couldn't exactly fly out..."
"I need to think about this."Josh said openly. "It's a lot to take in..."
"You're telling me." Kevin said with a short laugh.
Josh smiled wanely and then turned to look at Kevin.
"How long would it have taken you to tell me if I didn't walk in on your game of happy families?" Josh asked.
"I don't know." Kevin replied. "For now my main focus is Jon."
"You really mean that, don't you?" Josh asked softly.
Kevin nodded.
"Then I guess we're done here." Josh replied.
Kevin opened his mouth to protest but Josh continued.
"No." Josh said. "You just said that your son is your main focus, but I didn't sign on for that. I want to be your main focus, and that may sound selfish but I don't think that I can share you, especially not with someone that needs so much of your time. We have so little time together as it is, I'm not sure that I want to share the time that we do have with someone else."
"Okay." Kevin answered, not sure what else he could say to that. Josh was dumping him for having a kid. He wondered if this is what other single parents went through every time they went out to date. Kevin supposed that it was something he was going to have to get used to now that he had Jonathan because the boy was in his life permanently for at least the next twelve years.
"You're not even going to argue?" Josh asked. "Or ask me to stay?"
"Like you said, you didn't sign up for this." Kevin said. "I always knew that you didn't want a family. I guess this is Goodbye."
And with that Kevin turned to walk out.
Josh was left wondering what he had done. He had hoped to manipulate Kevin into admitting his feelings for him but it seemed that had backfired and now he was alone and wondering how he could make this up to his lover.
When the answers didn't come immediately Josh began to regret his actions. He knew that he would not be welcome at Kevin's house for a while, that much had been made clear by the venue of their encounter that day. The question was how he went about winning Kevin over again.
It was not something that he would be able to resolve in a day.
Kyle was almost glad of the normalcy of a day at home with his brother after the strange day before. Of course there had been a lot going on in his life over the past two months but kissing Alex had felt like the most bizarre of them all.
Kyle was under no illusions that if he hadn't been back in Kevin's life he and Alex would be together. The pair of them lived in two totally different worlds but in reality they had a lot in common. Alex seemed to be the only member of Kevin's group that understood where Kyle was coming from and that meant a lot to him. He wasn't sure how he would have gotten through this without AJ and certainly wasn't sure that he would have survived the coming months. Kyle knew that the time ahead would be just as difficult as the last few weeks as he tried to live amongst a group of people that barely tolerated him. At least if he had Alex at his side he would not be alone.
The phone in the kitchen rang and Kyle moved to answer it, making sure that he kept one eye on his brother as he did so, he smiled when he recognised the familiar voice.
"Hi, did you sleep well?" Alex asked as Kyle answered.
"Yeah." Kyle replied. "You?"
"Like a log." Alex replied. He wondered if Kyle was expecting a response like 'I would have slept better by your side'. If he was then it would be a while in coming. Alex had meant what he said the day before about taking things slowly and he was not about to rush head first into something which they might both later regret.
"Did you call to chat, or was there something you wanted to ask?" Kyle asked after a moment's silence.
"I can't just call to talk?" AJ asked.
"You can," Kyle replied. "but you would be better off doing it when I don't have a six year old to look after."
"Ah, you're babysitting then?" Alex asked. "Are you on Jonny duty all week?"
"I think that Kevin is back later, and he mentioned that he wanted to take him to SeaWorld tommorow. Why do you ask?"
Alex paused for a moment, wondering what the best way to deal with this was. He decided that it was best to just come right out and say it.
"The police called." Alex said. "I asked them to contact me when they were done gathering evidence at the house so that you could go and pick up your things. They called this morning to say that you can go in when you want."
"Oh." Kyle answered. He had been expecting that. He knew that they would have to go back and pack up there things and sort out the final payment of bills and the like but he didn't want to have to do it. He had thought about asking Alex to go with him because he was not fit enough to drive and now his boyfriend was offering to take him, at least he thought he was.
"I was going to offer to drive you." AJ said. "Not that I want to rush you into anything but the police did mention that your landlord has been hounding them to get on with it. Apparently he wants to relet the apartment as soon as possible."
Kyle knew that the landlord wanted to do that because he lost money for every day that it was empty. Kyle hadn't paid his rent the last few weeks because other things had been on his mind and he knew that if he did not go in and get their belongings soon that the land lord would throw them out on the street. There was not a lot in the apartment that he wanted but Jon had a few toys and games that he would want and if he had them at Kevin's then the large house might feel more like home.
"Are you free tommorow?" Kyle asked.
"Sure." Alex replied. "As long as Kevin can look after Jon."
Kyle was about to answer when he heard the front door slam and Kevin walked in. He was about to ask him when he saw the pallor of his face. Kevin went straight outside and sat down next to Jonathan, pulling the boy up to sit on his lap and hugging him tightly.
"I'll call you later and let you know if it isn't okay." Kyle said. "I need to go."
"Okay." AJ said.
Any further comment was cut off as Kyle hung up and made his way outside to see what was so wrong with Kevin. A million thoughts ran through his head as he wondered what bad news he might have received. He hoped that it was nothing to do with the custody case that they had tentatively won. If Jonathan had to go back to a group home after staying with Kevin and having a taste at real family life it would destroy them all. Kyle hoped that it was not that.
"Are you okay?" Kyle asked softly as he saw that Kevin was quietly talking to his son. Kyle could not get close enough to hear the words but he knew that Jon was listening intently.
"Kyle." Jonathan said, looking up with a frown on his face. "Daddy says that we're going to be a family. Just us."
Kyle's face fell.
"Just the three of us." Kevin reiterated to Jon.
Kyle realised that Kevin was not excluding him and the dread that he had felt fell away to be replaced by concern.
"Jon, why don't you go inside and get your lotion. It's a little hot out here and you might need to put some more on." Kyle said, wanting to distract his brother and give him a chance to see Kevin alone. As soon as Jon had scampered off he took a seat next to Kevin and continued. "What happened? You look as if you lost a dollar and found a cent."
"I went to see Josh." Kevin said. "He's not too interested now that I am a single parent. Apparently kids weren't part of his grand plan."
"Oh." Kyle replied. "So, that's what you meant, just the three of us. You two broke up?"
"Yeah." Kevin replied. "I guess it was for the best. It would have been hard for Jonathan to grow up with a gay father."
"Just because you and Josh split up it doesn't stop the fact that you are gay." Kyle replied, feeling as if he were the parent and Kevin the child as he lectured him on sexuality. Kyle wondered if it was easier for him to accept because he had grown up in different times. Kevin had certainly had a very sheltered and religious upbringing so it must be harder for him to understand. "I would rather that Jon grew up knowing who his father was than for you to hide that from him."
"Thanks." Kevin said. "But for the moment I can't think that way. Jon comes first."
The way the words were inflected Kyle knew that they held more meaning than Kevin was saying but he was not opening up anymore than he had and Kyle realised it was not going to work to push him. Jon returned and the uncomfortable silence broke as Kevin turned his attentions back to his son.
Jon came first.
It sounded like a good plan to Kyle.
As they drove through his old neighbourhood Kyle was reminded of just how far he had moved in the last two months. Since the incident that had put him in hospital and taken Jon away from him he had thought of this place often but it was only now that he realised this would be the last time he had to go back there. It was with a sense of relief that he did so but also one of trepidation. Kyle was unsure what the world outside his neighbourhood would hold for him.
"Is this it?" Alex asked as he pulled his $50,000 customised Cadillac Escalade up in front of the apartment building which housed some 20 families. The whole block probably took up less space than Kevin's property, the house and lands included.
"It's not much, but we called it home." Kyle replied suddenly uncomfortable with the area as he saw it through Alex's eyes. Of course someone used to the luxury that Alex was would see this differently than he did. Kyle had always thought them lucky that the buildings were up to standard but as he looked at them now he realised that they were tatty and small. No one with any real money would live there. The inhabitants were impoverished but had nowhere else to go.
"Let's get on with this." Alex said as he opened his door and stepped out. Kyle paused a moment and then slid out too. He was about to step away from the car when he changed his mind and turned to a child that sat on the stoop of his building.
"Damien?" He asked, noting that the child did not look up when called. "Hey, Damien, it's Kyle." Only when he announced himself did the boy look up. He had obviously expected this to be some stranger that he did not want to associate with, possibly one of the dealers on the block. "You want to earn yourself a twenty?"
Damien's eyes lit up at that, but he eyed Alex suspiciously, still cautious of the stranger in their midst.
"If you keep an eye on the car I'll give you the other half later." He said as he handed the boy a ten dollar bill.
Damien nodded and slid the bill into his pocket.
Kyle smiled and then stepped up to the building. He slid his key into the lock and entered, pausing to check his pigeon hole for post, before moving up to the stairs.
"Don't you have an elevator?" Alex asked as he looked at the daunting flights of stairs.
"Nope." Kyle replied. "But we're only on the second floor. It's not that far."
Alex sighed and followed Kyle up the stairs, they made it half way up before someone stopped them.
"I thought I told you kids that I didn't want your sort around here." The large man said as he stood in front of Alex. AJ, ever the bad boy, stood his ground against the man that was twice his size.
"It's okay, Rico." Kyle said as he stepped around Alex. "He's with me."
"Oh." The larger man said, shrinking back slightly as he saw Kyle. "I didn't expect to see you back here, kid. Heard that you were laid up and that Jonnie was in care. We asked but Miss. Waller said it wasn't our business."
"It's okay." Kyle said as he saw the sadness in the man's face. "Jon is living with his father."
Rico's face soured as he said those words.
"You mean that good for nothing finally came back around." Rico said.
"Not Connor." Kyle replied patiently as he referred to one of the men that had claimed paternity for his brother. "His real father. He didn't know that Jon existed until the hospital tracked him down. We're both staying there now."
"That's good." Rico said. "Martha and I wanted to take the kid in but they wouldn't let us. As if one more mouth to feed would be a problem with our four. We made sure that the landlord didn't come in either. He wanted to empty out your stuff but we figured you would come by to get it sooner or later."
"Thanks." Kyle said with a nod. He turned to continue along to their apartment and this time they were not stopped. Alex followed him, slightly bemused by the exchange. He didn't even know his own neighbours but then again that was part of what he paid for in order to get complete privacy. "This is it." Kyle said as he stopped outside one of the indistinguishable doors along the row. He slid his key in and turned it.
Alex took a deep breath and stepped inside. He was surprised at the cleanliness of the place. He had expected much worse from what Kyle had described and soon realise that Kyle too was surprised at the cleanliness.
"Martha must have been in." He said as he looked around the place. "Last time I was here..." He trailed off as he realised that it had been the attack and that everything had been bathed in blood when he was last there.
"Is anything missing?" Alex asked, as he misunderstood what Kyle was saying.
Kyle laughed at that and Alex frowned.
"She's been in to clean." Kyle replied. "It's not as if we have anything worth stealing anyway. There is an old TV set in the lounge and a few tapes with a player but other than that not much else."
Alex looked around and realised that there were few things that a potential robber may want to steal. It did sound like a pretty absurd thought when you looked at it that way. Kyle was already busying himself with things in the other room and Alex took the chance to really look around the apartment. Casting a critical eye around the place he could see that one of the things that it lacked was any personal touches. It was as if someone had moved in and never expected this to be a permanent residence. Some of the items had not even left the packing boxes that they had arrived in.
"Do you want me to do anything?" Alex called, stepping into the bedroom where he saw Kyle moving around. He noticed that there was more life in this room and that there were pictures on the wall which Jon had obviously drawn or painted. This looked like it was lived in and the collection of toys that were strewn around the floor showed that it was played in too.
"Not really. I just need to pack up Jonny's things." Kyle said. "I'm surprised that he has managed to sleep without Mr. Snuggles." He said as he held up a well-loved stuffed bear with a smile.
Alex saw it and his eyes widened. He remembered the bear, Kevin had won it for Julia at a fair that they had all gone to in a better time, he could not believe that this cheap stuffed toy was Jon's prized possession.
Kyle was still pulling out toys and clothes and piling them onto the bed. It was obvious that he was sorting out only his brother's things and that there was very little of his own around the room.
"What about your things?" Alex asked as he took up a perch on the other bed.
"They're already mostly packed." Kyle replied, nodding toward a couple of boxes in the corner. "Jon wasn't the tidiest of people so I tended to keep my stuff separate."
Alex looked more closely at the boxes and realised that clothes were piled neatly in one and a few books and pictures were stacked in the other. This was a far cry from what most nineteen year olds would have amassed in their bedrooms. Where were the posters, magazines, CD's and Video games that most teenagers had cluttering their floors?
"I think that is about it." Kyle said, pulling Alex out of his thoughts. Alex looked up and could see that the room looked a lot tidier. There was a small pile of toy trucks, cars and action men on the bed next to the cuddly toy and a neat stack of clothes but not much else. Kyle folded the clothes and put them on top of his own before putting the toys into the other box.
Two boxes for two boys. It was not much for a lifetime's worth of possessions.
"What are you going to do about everything else?" Alex asked, thinking about the TV and other furniture in the room.
"I'll leave the keys with Martha, she'll sell what she can and give the rest to goodwill." Kyle said. "It's the least I can do for her considering she tidied the place up."
Alex nodded, taking one of the boxes and watching as Kyle took one last look at the place before turning his back on it. They got as far as the front door before Kyle stopped and put his box down as if he remembered something. Kyle made his way over to one side of the lounge area and knelt down. A moment later he had a floorboard in his hand and pulled out two packages. Alex frowned when he saw Kyle stuff one into his pocked and wrap the other in his jacket.
"Alex, can you do me a favour and take the boxes to the car?" He asked as he exited the apartment and locked the door. Alex knew when he was being deceived and shook his head.
"What's in your pocket?" He asked, wanting the truth.
Kyle sighed. He had hoped to deal with this on his own but it was obvious that he wasn't going to be able to. He moved his coat aside and showed Alex the package. Alex wasn't sure that he had ever seen that many tablets before but he knew what they were immediately.
"They were Gary's." Kyle replied. "I've got to see Harley about them, and I really don't need to worry about you as well. If you take those boxes back I'll meet you at Kevin's later."
"No way." Alex said. "I'm not leaving you alone with anyone that was associated with Gary, not after what he did to you."
Kyle laughed.
"Harley is okay." Kyle replied. "He's just a drug dealer. Gary was a thug."
"I still don't think that you should go in alone." Alex replied. "Can't you go to the police with them?"
"The police will want to know where I got them from and I can't tell them that, they'll be crawling all over the building within a day and I can't do that to our friends. Other than Gary we've kept this place clean."
"Can't I come with you?" Alex asked.
"Harley would spot you coming a mile away." Kyle said. "At least he knows me. If I don't do this he'll come after us as soon as he knows that Gary still had some of this. I can't let that happen."
"Okay." Alex said, seeing the strength of Kyle's will. "But I'll wait outside for you. If you're not back in an hour I'm calling the police."
Kyle nodded, handing his box over to Alex and then heading out into the street.
Alex took the boxes down and paid the kid on the stoop that was watching his car. Then he sat down to wait.
When Kyle returned half an hour later Alex was almost surprised that the kid had returned at all.
"All sorted?" He asked as he saw the solemn look on Kyle's face.
"Yeah. But I don't ever want to see that man again." Kyle replied.
"Let's get you home." Alex replied as he pulled the car away from the kerb and headed back onto the main roads.
Home, Kyle thought, this place had once been home but it wasn't anymore. He hoped that the home they were building with Kevin would be happier than this one had been. He didn't deserve it but Jon did and Kevin was right. It was about time that Jon came first.
AJ watched as Jon carefully unpacked the toys that Kyle had retrieved for him. Each of the toys were meticulously taken out and placed around the room in an order that made sense only to a six year old. It was amazing just how much care the child gave each car or model. Alex had never seen a child that was so careful with their toys. Then again he had never seen a child that could get so excited about a worn box with battered play things in it. The box was more than a collection of toys though. It was all that Jon had ever known and that was what made it so priceless.
Kyle seemed more relaxed now that they had returned to Kevin's and he was content to watch his brother playing. It was almost as if Kyle was happy as long as his brother was happy. It would have been sweet if Alex did not worry that Kyle deserved more.
For so many years Kyle's whole existance had been tied up in what Jonathan wanted or needed that it appeared he had forgotten to look after himself. Alex had vowed to change that but he wasn't sure how he was going to do that while Kyle was still so close to his brother. It was not that he wanted to take Kyle away, just that he wanted Kyle to see that there was more to life than his brother's wants and needs. Surely Kyle must have wants and needs of his own.
Alex certainly had wants and needs that he hoped he would be able to fufill with Kyle's helps and for the first time in his life they were not just sexual. Kyle brought out new feelings in Alex, things that he had thought he would never feel and some of them were akin to the love that they sang about in their songs.
Alex wondered if he and Kyle would fall in love or if indeed they were already there.
"Brian called while you were out." Kevin said, pulling Alex from his thoughts.
"Yeah?" Alex asked. "Did he want to know when he can come over to visit?" He asked knowing that the other boys were jealous that he was allowed over when Kevin had asked them all to stay away. It was only his budding relationship with Kyle that allowed AJ access that the others were denied.
"The record company are not taking any more excuses. They want us back in the studio tommorow or they are going to rescind the offer of another album." Kevin replied.
"They can't do that, can they?" Alex asked. They had split with their last record company over contractual differences and this time they thought the contract was water tight. It was supposed to cover them against eventualities such as this.
"They can do what they want." Kevin replied. "To be honest I am surprised that they have given us this long. I was wondering if you would duck out early tonight, I need to talk with Kyle about Jon."
"You mean you want him to watch your son while you're at work." Alex responded. He had not meant the words to sound harsh but he had just been worrying about how little time or consideration Kyle had for himself and now he realised that Kevin was taking as much advantage of him as Julia once had.
"I was hoping that he would be able to be there for him." Kevin said. "At least until Jon is settled and I can find a nanny or au pair to take him on. Jon has a lot of individual needs that I can't deal with alone and I know we need extra help but I don't have the luxury of time."
Alex frowned.
"I hadn't seen it that way." Alex replied. "Give me a minute to say bye and then I'll leave you alone."
"You don't have to rush off." Kevin replied, but Alex was already taking Kyle to one side to say his farewells.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Alex said as he turned to leave. Kevin nodded but he was already planning how he was going to broach the subject of childcare with Kyle. It was not his job to care for his brother but he hoped that at least for the next few weeks Kyle would not mind continuing his responsibility for Jon. Kevin wasn't sure what else he could do.
Kyle was slightly worried that Alex was upset about their interaction earlier. He knew that Alex had disagreed with what he had done and when he rushed off that night he was concerned that it had to do with seeing Kyle's old neighbourhood and what he had to stoop to. When Kevin sat him down after Jon was in bed he was sure that it was going to be to say that Alex had changed his mind and that he had asked Kevin to let him down gently.
"Brian called earlier." Kevin said as Kyle sat down for their talk.
"Yeah?" Kyle asked, wondering what this had to do with Alex dumping him.
"The record company want us back in the studio tommorow." Kevin said.
Kyle frowned, wondering what this had to do with him.
"The thing is...I was wondering if you would be able to watch over Jonathan while I'm out." Kevin said. "I know that it is a lot to ask, but..."
"Sure." Kyle said, interupting Kevin's speech. "Is that all you wanted to ask?"
Kevin nodded.
"God, when you said that we had to talk I thought that it was something catastrophic." Kyle replied with a smile. He was relieved that it was none of the worst case scenarios that he had practised in his mind.
"Are you sure that you don't mind?" Kevin asked. He didn't want Kyle to agree because he felt he had to.
"It's okay." Kyle replied. "I'm used to looking after him anyway. At least you're off working rather than what Julia would have been doing..." Kyle trailed off as he realised that he had not really spoken about his mother with Kevin. The pair of them had not shared many conversations that were not in relation to Jon but now Kyle wondered if Kevin would remember the woman that he had loved or would know what kind of woman she had become.
"You don't talk about her very often." Kevin said, referring to Julia. "You know that if you want to talk..."
"Thanks." Kyle said. "But it is in the past."
He wasn't sure that he meant it but the last person that he wanted to speak to about his mother was Kevin. He did not want to taint the image of Julia that Kevin would teach Jon. Although Jon had seen a few horrors in his young life they were nothing compared to what Kyle had seen. He did not want to subject his brother to that and Jonathan did not deserve to grow up knowing anything other than that his mother had loved him very much and that she had died tragically young trying to protect him. The image may not have been true but Jon would not benefit from the real truth.
"Okay." Kevin said. "Let me know if you change your mind."
Kyle doubted that he would. Of he did need to talk anything through then he hoped that Alex would be there for him. The pair of them had only been friends for a matter of weeks, lovers even less time, but he felt a kinship to the other man that he could not explain. Alex would understand what he was saying and would not judge him. Kyle was not always sure that he could say the same about Kevin.
"Are you nervous about going back into the studio?" Kyle asked, wanting to make conversation.
Kevin shrugged.
"To be honest, with everything else that has been happened I have not really thought about it. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Kevin was up early the next day and managed to bath and feed Jonathan before Kyle arose. He was glad that he had some time to spend with his son before he headed out to work because he knew that it would be a long day and that he might be late back.
"Where are you going?" Jonathan asked, trying to hide the fear in his voice as he watched his father don coat and shoes and head for the door.
Kevin thought that Jon had been watching cartoons and would not notice him slipping out. He had wanted to avoid a scene.
"I've got to go to work." Kevin replied. "But Kyle is going to stay here and look after you, and I'll be back this evening to tuck you in."
"I don't want you to go." Jonathan replied stubbornly.
"I've got to go." Kevin replied.
"Then I want to come with you." Jonathan replied.
"I'm sorry sport." Kevin answered. He felt guilty as he realised that this was going to be the first in a long line of apologies to his son when his career forced him to put Jonny second. "You can't come to the studio, besides, it will be boring. You're better off staying here with all your toys. Maybe you can even get Kyle to take you out for ice cream or something..." Kevin knew that he should not use emotional blackmail on his son but this was something that he had to do and he couldn't get out of it. Maybe once the album was recorded he would be able to renegotiate their contract so that he had a less crazy schedule.
"I don't want you to go." Jonathan sulked.
Kyle heard his brother's shouts and came in from the other room. He had been making his own breakfast, hoping to eat before Kevin left, but he had not thought about what would happen when he came to leave.
"Jonathan. That is not how we behave in this house." Kyle reprimanded as he entered the room. Jonny had the wisdom to look sorry and hung his head slightly. "Now, I want you to go and say goodbye to your father properly and then come and help me load the dishes into the dishwasher."
"I'm sorry, daddy." Jonathan said as he ran to give his father a hug. "I didn't mean to shout but I don't want you to go."
"I know, sport." Kevin replied. "But I have to go to work today. I'll be back later and I promise to read you a story before you go to sleep."
"Really?" Jonathan asked, looking up to his father with watery eyes. It was clear that there were residual insecurities in the boy, probably from a mother that had made similar excuses, and Kevin realised that he was going to have to be more careful with his son's emotions than he had thought. He made a silent vow to make sure that he was home every night before his son would go to bed so that they could spend a little time together each day.
"I promise." Kevin replied.
Kevin was going to be there for his son, even if his schedule did not allow for it, he would make time for Jonathan.
TBC