In Love With a Tgirl (part 5)
I discovered late in life that I loved transgendered woman. This fictional account imagines what life might have been like if I had realized it earlier. I hope you enjoy this fantasy.
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I awoke the next day and remembered a very thought-provoking dream: I dreamt that I was married to Melinda! Marriage wasn't something had I thought about much. Girls seemed to be obsessed with marriage, and it seemed that every girl he had dated eventually started to talk about it. For some guys, it results in engagement, but for me it was usually the beginning of the end.
My current girlfriend would say something like, "I guess you just aren't ready to commit."
Why the hell should I? If I don't want to get married, why should I feel pressured into it just because a girlfriend wants to own me? Maybe it's just that I'm not ready to commit to HER! Perhaps that's the point. When the right girl comes along I will be able to commit.
The dream was a little disturbing to me. Marriage had never interested me before, yet I was dreaming about being married to Melinda. Was she the right girl? I knew that some would say she wasn't even a girl at all, but I knew better.
Throughout the day I just couldn't get it out of my head, and did find myself liking the idea. I had no idea if Melinda was at all interested, or if she even could get married if we both wanted to. Should I discuss it with her or just leave this alone? If I brought it up I might be opening a door best left closed. I decided to leave it alone for now.
I met Melinda for lunch and she noticed that I was more quiet than usual. "Is there something on your mind dear?" she asked, "you seem to be preoccupied."
"It's nothing," I said, "or maybe it is something – I don't know."
"That's kind of mysterious," said Melinda, "care to share?"
"No – well yes," I stammered, "oh I don't know!"
"It sounds like it is troubling you, dear," she replied, "if you share it, perhaps the difficulty will diminish."
"Maybe you are right," I said, "but this is something that I want to share with you, but am afraid to."
"What is there to be afraid of?" she asked, "you have been very brave in overcoming your inhibitions about me."
"I guess I just don't want to open a door that I should leave closed," I said.
"If it will make things easier," assured Melinda, "if the door needs to close I'll help you close it."
I found that image amusing and chuckled. That loosened me up and I began, "I had a dream last night that we were married."
"I see," said Melinda, "and you were shocked at the prospect of being married to a girl like me?"
"No," I said, "that's not it at all – I have never been interested in marriage to anyone, and when it came up with other girlfriends , it usually began the end of the relationship."
"So why does that dream disturb you?" she asked.
"I'm not sure it really disturbs me, but it really got me thinking," I said, "I can't help but wonder if you are the girl for me."
Melinda eyes swelled with tears and she said, "Are you saying what I think I might be?"
"I love you Melinda," I said, "and you might really be the girl for me – I hope so – and I want to be sure."
Melinda wrapped her arms around me and kissed me, saying, "we both love each other, but let's let our relationship develop further before talking marriage – it's something I really do want, but I want you to be totally committed to it – I don't want to rush you into it and regret later – if we get married I want it to last."
"Once again you have proven to be very different than any other girl," I said, and we continued kissing.
"Melinda dear," I asked, "is there anything that would prevent you from marrying me?"
She stiffened in my arms and said, "yes, there is – I was foolish not to realize this before."
"What is that dear?" I asked.
"Legally I'm still a boy," she said, opening her purse and showing me her driver's license. It listed her name as Melinda but the gender marker was clearly "M".
"What can we do about it?" I asked.
"Last year the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage," Melinda responded.
I was silent for a while and said, "I'll have to think about that – it doesn't sound like the best choice we could make."
"But nobody would ever have to know," Melinda protested.
"It is a matter of public record," I said, and it could come out at any time. I don't want us living a life in fear that it would be discovered. Isn't there something we could do to legally change your gender?"
"Do you want me to have the surgery?" Melinda asked.
"NO!" I shot back, "but perhaps there is another way."
"Why don't you want me to have the surgery?" she asked.
"Unless you REALLY want it, I prefer that you don't for a couple of reasons," I said, "It is pretty drastic, very expensive and major surgery – you would be under general anesthesia – right on the border of life and death, and some perfectly healthy people never wake up from general anesthesia – I love you and don't want to lose you.
"What if I really wanted it?" Melinda asked.
"If it meant the world to you, I would reluctantly agree," I said, "and be with you along the way."
Melinda kissed me and asked, "is there any other reason you don't want me to have the surgery?"
"Well, this isn't a really good reason," I admitted, "but I do like you the way you are!"
"That settles it," she said, "no surgery for me!"
"Do you know of any lawyers who handle transgender issues?" I asked.
"Yes," Melinda said, "Ben Jacobs handled my name change, and I know he has done some other transgender related work."
"Let's get an appointment with him and see if he can help us with this." I said.
Melinda agreed and said she would call him today.
"I want us to clear the way for a traditional boy-girl marriage," I said, " and I want that 'M' off your driver's license – I'm surprised it hasn't caused you trouble.
"It has caused me some embarrassment," Melinda admitted, "when I get carded at bars and clubs it is awkward if they notice."
"If you get pulled over for a burned out tail lamp they check your license," I said, "and some cops may give you trouble."
"Why would they give me trouble if I haven't done anything wrong?" she asked.
"Two reasons," I explained, "they might think you are a criminal in disguise, or they might just be a jerk and hassle you – either way I don't want any trouble for you."
"I feel so safe with you, Bill," she said, "we'll see how we can get this worked out.
–––––––––––––––––––– To be continued ...
Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests. –Bill (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)
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