Thank you all for your comments and support. I am not sure how long this story is going to be. I am just writing and it will end when it does. I am sorry for any delays but I am trying to write a book, this story and another at the same time as well as going to class and doing homework. It's pretty busy work. Please enjoy and FYI, there will not be sex in every chapter some will be longer than others. It's just a natural progression of the writing. I end the chapter at the most natural position.
Disclaimer: The story that I have written is a complete work of fiction. All characters come out of my tiny imagination and were created solely for the purpose of writing this particular story. Any similarities in characters of real life persons is strictly coincidental. If it is offensive for you to read about Man on Man sex, please leave now or forever hold your peace. If it is illegal for you to read gay erotica wherever you may reside, please leave now.
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In My Head
Chapter 3 "The Burgh"
I got to Pittsburgh late as hell. I requested a late check in but had no idea I would be pulling in this late. It was almost 1 am. All I could do was think about Derik. I had a name to put with the face and body. I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. The rest of the drive up here, the stop for gas, the stop to stretch and watching the city lights getting larger as I got closer. All I could think about was Derik. I wanted him to be right next to me, talking to me, holding my hand. I wanted him to be checking into the hotel room with me. I wanted him to make love to me tonight. I wanted him to hold me in my sleep tonight. All of these things I wanted and all I did was have a two hour conversation with him. Oh Jules is gonna love this.
I pulled up to the Four Seasons and was so glad to finally be here. I was so tired that I was running on fumes. I checked in to my suite and was not surprised to find my bed pulled down and ready for me. I undressed looked in the full length mirror and noticed that my 7 ½ inch dick was standing at full attention. No man had ever gotten into my head like this before. I saw him when I closed my eyes, smelled him when I took in a breath, tasted him every time that I opened my mouth and heard him all the time. How could this be? "Shit" I need to talk to Jules. I need to go to sleep. First a nice long hot shower. I tried my best not to think about Derik while I was in the shower, but before I knew it, I had my dick in my hand and was doing a nice slow stroke while imagining Derik sliding in and out of me. It was like I could feel his every move, his breath on my neck, his light touch on my skin. I had it bad. I felt the signs of my impending orgasm and before you know it I was spraying the shower wall with my seed. I washed from top to bottom and then again and then a third time, I was kind of OCD'ish that way.
I got out of the shower and dried off. I climbed in the bed after. I heard my phone buzz and looked over to check it. It was Julian. He must have called while I was in the shower. I just texted him back and let him know that I was checked in and going to bed.
When I woke up the next morning, I realized just how lonely I was it was 8:22 a.m. and all I dreamed about last night was Derik. I wanted him so bad it hurt me, physically hurt. I needed to gain some perspective, but before I know it I was picking up my cell and looking in my pants pocket for his number. I was dialing, it was ringing, and then I heard his voice. It was his voicemail. I didn't know what to say, I started to hang up, but didn't because it would seem stalkerish not to leave a message. "Hey it's me Jayden. I have been thinking about you all night and just wanted to check in with you and say hi. This is my cell, give me a call when you get the chance. Save a life, and I will talk to you soon." I disconnected and then called Jules. "Hey Jules, are we still on for 10?"
"Yeah." he said, "I'm going to come down to the hotel to pick you up, I should be there around 9:30. I have the twins with me so be prepared for diaper duty."
I told him, "I will take diaper duty anytime as long as I can spend time with my nephews." I told him I would see him later. I got up pulled my clothes out for the day and jumped in the shower. While I was in the shower, my thoughts turned to my dilemma. What was I going to do? I don't really know this guy, but every time that I think about him, I just, I don't know. He does something to me. I want him more than I have wanted anything in my life, and I don't know why. I washed from top to bottom, three times as usual. I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. I could use a shave, which will have to wait until I return to the room tonight. I noticed my chiseled abdomen and the scar that runs straight down the middle of my abdomen from sternum to just below my navel. I had my six pack abs although rather lopsided and wondered who in their right mind would want someone with a scar like that. I had thought about plastic surgery to have the scar removed, and was still thinking about it for that matter, but really couldn't justify a real reason for it. When I was 21, the October after my momma passed away, I woke up with this terrible pain in my abdomen, the lower left side. Then it was gone just as fast as it started. I thought nothing of it. 15 minutes later I was in the shower and was doubled over in pain again then it was gone as if nothing happened. This continued to happen all day. I was at work in a patient's room and it caught me off guard. I was on my knees this time and it just kept getting worse. I left work early and went home. I hated to leave them shorthanded, but there was nothing that I could do. I was due to work the following day but would be off for the next 7 days. That was my shift 7 days on 7 days off. When I got home I couldn't eat my stomach was in knots. I noticed that I had a fever. I took some Tylenol to help get rid of it. I thought at first that it was appendicitis, but the appendix is on the right side my pain was on the left. I went to bed hoping that it would be better by the morning. At 4 am I woke up and couldn't even stand it hurt so badly. I lived alone and didn't trust myself driving so I called my uncle James and he came over on his way home from work and took me to the E.R. It was Diverticulitis. They talked to my doctor and he wanted me admitted, but I talked him into letting me go home with antibiotics. They sent me home and I saw him the next day. He gave me more antibiotics and pain meds and told me to see a Gastro doctor. He didn't think that surgery was necessary at first. I didn't have any problems again until the following year. In August, the infection came back and nothing helped. I was on antibiotics constantly for 2 solid months. He sent me to see a surgeon and he told me, "I need to take out that section of your colon". He originally told me that he would do the procedure laparoscopically. On the day of the surgery he told me that he couldn't and that it would be better to have it done the regular way. Hence the scar. I have been self-conscious about the scar ever since.
I left the bathroom and started getting dressed. I was putting on my shirt and there was a knock on the door. I ran to get it and there stood my identical twin Julian. Skype did no justice. It really was like looking in the mirror except that he had no facial hair where I had a chin strap. He had a child in each arm and a bag slung over his shoulder. He looked a little disheveled but he had a big smile on his face. I took one of the twins, I am actually not sure which one, Jarod or Jeremiah and pulled them into the room. The twins were 18 months and a little on the small side, but they looked just like us. I sat the baby down on the couch as did Jules and we hugged. I actually had tears in my eyes. I hadn't held him since I came down when the twins were born. I missed him terribly. I pulled him from me and planted a kiss right on the lips. I kissed his face his neck. Held him to me. I just couldn't get enough of him. He was still fit and he had this glow about him. He still wore that same cologne, Nautica. It smelled really good on him. I didn't pull away until I had a good feel for him. I just wanted to hold him and not let go. One of the twins started wining and reaching up for Julian so I had to let him go. He said "Hey there Mi, you remember uncle Jay don't you." Mi reached over and started playing with my face and was looking from me to his dad. I guess he couldn't really see the difference between the two of us. But he knew his dad. Jarod reached over for me and grabbed me to pick him up, but he didn't cry or make any noise. He must have felt left out. I was thinking look at us. We all were beautiful and I just couldn't keep my eyes off of my brother. I noticed, not for the first time, that he was still sexy as ever and had those perfect teeth except for one, the left canine was a little crooked. I asked Jules what he wanted to do he told me that staying here at the hotel was fine with him. But, we had other plans. We were supposed to be going to see our sister TaShawn and her kids. I really didn't want to see her but it had been a while since I saw her last. Every time that she called she wanted money. It was never to see how I am or anything, just how deep into my pockets she could get. She didn't play those games with Jules, `cause he just flat out told her "No!" every time. Me on the other hand, I have never been able to say no to her. Even as kids, if she asked me to set the kitchen on fire for her I would have done it. I actually did set the kitchen on fire once, not because she asked but I was 4 and just learned how to use a lighter. But that's another story.
"I need to go see your sister, I haven't seen her in a while and you know how she can get. By the way, how is your mother?" I said. That is a game that we played, whenever we referred to either our sister or mother, it wasn't how is sis or how is mom. It was, how is your mother? or How is your sister? It's a long story with our mother, long and short of it is that she left us when we were 2 ½ and never came back. Just left us with the neighbor and didn't come back. She left me and Jules and our sister TaShawn. She took our younger brother Damon with her. I guess you could say I was still a little salty over the whole situation. I just don't get how a parent could leave a child. I also know that some people are not meant to be parents.
Julian said, "Oh, she could be better, the Parkinson's is really kickin' her butt and the attacks are getting worse. She is makin' it through though. You know how she is."
I asked him, "How is Damon doing, he won't return any of my phone calls still and he blocked me from his Facebook page, so I have no way of really getting in contact with him."
"Oh, that fucker, when I see him I'm gonna bust a hole in his head. He keep callin' your mother and asking her for money, I mean just last week she sent his sorry ass $1000. I keep tellin' her and tellin' her not to send him any more money, but you know how that relationship is, she would do anything for him and I do mean anything."
I am fuming now. I don't really get along with Damon I never really had the chance to get to know him. But he takin' advantage and I don't appreciate that at all.
I asked Jules, "Is he usin'? He's never been that type, but this just sounds suspect."
"Jay, I really don't know, I think so, just from what your sister keeps telling me. You know your mother doesn't really talk to me about stuff like that, she just keeps me up on her medical conditions and stuff like that. Like you said though, it seems a bit suspect. Enough of this family BS, how about we go get something to eat and then we can ride over to your sister's house."
"I'm cool with that, where do you want to take the little monsters to eat?" They were both walking around the room getting into what toddlers get into, everything. He was looking at them with the most loving look on his face. I wanted that. To be a dad. I wanted what he had but I was not willing to give up being gay in order to have it. I would just live vicariously through him.
He said, "We could head out to Monroeville and go to the Golden Corral, they love it there. Plus they don't really get to eat there often since I like to cook at home."
I had been staring at him and not really paying attention to what he was saying. My brother was very handsome and I missed him. I walked over to him and grabbed him into a hug. I didn't realize it until I felt the cold on his shirt that I was crying. I wanted to not ever let him go. He just held me and kept whispering in my ear. "It's ok, I promise. It's OK. We're OK." I knew what he meant. I have felt so guilty for leaving Pittsburgh and moving back to DC. He and I moved to Pittsburgh the summer after we graduated from Georgetown U. Him with a major in Biology and me with a double major in Nursing and Finance. He got accepted into the University of Pittsburgh Medical School and honestly enough, I didn't want to be away from him so I moved to Pittsburgh with him. I took a job at UPMC Presbyterian Hospital in the cardiology division and he started Medical school. Things were great he finished medical school, went on to do his residency and Fellowship in Radiology. He met his wife, and that is his story. When he met her, things got a little awkward. I felt like the third wheel. I could tell that he was absolutely in love with her and she him. She clung to him like he was gonna run at any moment. But she is so sweet. I hate to put it like this, but she was a lot like me. Only I can cook. She can't cook worth a lick, but she can do everything else. I always took care of Jules, it was hard for me to give that up so that another person could do what I have been doing our entire lives. That is when I made the decision to move back to DC. I don't know if I was running away from him or what, but I realized that my life was consumed with him. We lived together, ate together, jerked off together and slept together in the same bed. We never had sex together, we were just close. But we were all we had. After momma passed away it was just me and him. TaShawn was in Pittsburgh already doing her thing. Most of our extended family couldn't stand us and avoided us at all cost. Our mother wasn't a mother; just someone that we knew gave birth to us. Our father died when we were 14 and we really didn't know him. He was married with 6 other children. He had an affair with our mother while he was married, the woman didn't find out about us until our mother left us and he was contacted to see if he wanted custody. He refused but sent our momma money every month kind of like child support. When he died, he left me and Jules a rather substantial inheritance. It took care of all of our needs plus some. To this day we don't need to work, we choose to. I just miss my brother. I guess I am all cried out now. He pulled me away from him and wiped the tears from my face. I wiped the tears from his face.
"Let's book." He said as he leaned over to pick up the diaper bag and grab the hand of one of the twins. I said. "Give me a minute to clean my face up and put my shoes on." I rushed to the bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth and cleaned up my face. I went in to put on my New Balance and my phone rang. I reached over and picked up the phone. I didn't recognize the number and started not to answer it but it was a 202 area code, so I took a chance.
"Hello." I said.
"Jayden? This is Derik, I got your message earlier and had a few minutes so I thought I would call you back and say Hi."
I was giddy like a school girl with her first crush. I had this big shit eatin' grin on my face. "Derik, thanks for calling me back, you didn't have to so soon, I know you are working. I was just calling to say wassup and you know, just say that I had a nice time last night."
Julian was looking at me with this curious look on his face. He mouthed "Spill." I held up my finger and tried to take the grin off my face, it wasn't working.
Derik said, "I had a really good time too. I was actually wondering if we would be able to repeat that dinner, when we actually have enough time. That was too short. When are you gonna be back in town?"
I told him, "I will be back next Tuesday. I am back to work on that Wednesday but I will call you when I get back into town."
"Oh, so I won't hear from you until then?" I could hear the grin in his voice.
"Hell no, I will call you and check in, I don't know your schedule so if I get voicemail I will just leave a message. But you will be hearing from me." I said.
"That's good to hear, hey, I gotta go but call me later when you get back in and settled. I'm usually home after 6 for the time being while I'm on this rotation."
"OK! I will call you tonight. Talk to you then." He said "Alright." Then the line disconnected. I wanted to jump through the phone and kiss him. It must have showed. Jules was standing there with this look on his face. Kind of like "What the fuck was that?"
"Soooooo... Who was that? He said.
"I will tell you in the car." I bent down to finish tying my shoes. I was trying to hide the grin on my face, but it was like it became permanent.
Jules said, "Oh, we can talk now and in the car. I've never seen you act like that before. You were acting like a giddy teenager. What's goin' on?"
It's amazing how we're always on the same wavelength. I finished tying my shoes and looked at him with that grin on my face. "Jules, I don't know. I just met this guy yesterday and I can see me spending the rest of my life with him. I have never felt like this about anyone. I can't get him out of my head. I think about him constantly. I already have every feature of his face committed to memory. How is left eyebrow raises when he smiles. How he has the deepest dimples the right deeper than the left; he has the most beautiful laugh. Jules, I don't know how it happened, but I have fallen in love with a complete stranger. I physically hurt right now because I can't be near him. Jules, what the hell is wrong with me? Am I that desperate that had to go and fall for a complete stranger? He could be a serial killer for all I know. I need you to help me figure this out. Otherwise it's gonna drive me mad."
He came and knelt down in front of me. He had one hand on each knee and said, "Nick, don't stress, we're gonna figure this out. It's not that big a deal. Being here will help you gain some perspective. You have known this guy for less than 24 hours. I know you don't believe in that love at first sight stuff, but let's talk this through. We're gonna go get something to eat and we're gonna talk."
He only called me Nick when he was worried about me. It's a part of my middle name. I looked at him and just leaned down and rested my forehead on his shoulder. I felt that sense of calm that I always get when I am around him and I knew that it was going to be OK. He kissed me on the ear and then the cheek and stood up. "Let's go feed the monsters."
I grabbed my keys, wallet, phone and room key and we headed out the door. We didn't speak again until we were in the car. He was driving his Navigator. We had duplicate trucks just different colors. His was dark blue and mine was like a dark burgundy. We each strapped a child into the car seats and we were heading towards 376 to Monroeville. Jules reached over and grabbed my hand which was in my lap and said "Nick, I know that this has been a really tough time for you, with what's going on with Dante and even..."
"Jules don't. I know what you're getting ready to say. No I haven't been 100%, but I have been doing pretty good. I have been working on my problems. I'm finally getting to a point to where I can focus. Therapy is working fine for me. The head dreams are manageable... Everything is going to be fine."
"Nick, look... I know things are starting to look up, but this situation with this guy has me worried. I'm not sure if you are completely capable of making a rational decision right now. I mean you're dating Dante and now you're in love with a complete stranger. Does this make any since to you?"
"Jules, no, it doesn't make any since to me. You know I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with Dante for a while now. Last night he called as I was on the road after I had dinner with Derik. I just broke up with him right then on the phone, didn't even have a second thought about it. I didn't do it before because I didn't want to seem shallow; you know what his hang ups are. But was that a reason to break up with him. The fact that I don't love him was reason enough to break up. For that reason alone I should have broken up with him a year ago. But he has been with me through all of my problems over the last year even through our problems, he was right there by my side to get me through. Then I just dropped him like a hot potato. What does that say about me? Really Jules, I need an answer on that one."
"What it says is that you finally realized that the relationship wasn't going anywhere and that it was time to move on. Have you ever stopped to think that being in the relationship with him was causing more harm than good? You have been through a lot over the last few years and you need to be honest with yourself, are you really OK? Nick, you almost died. You almost took your own life. I get it he was there, he helped you to get through those dark times, but does that mean that you have to suffer through something that you don't want or need for that matter."
"On an intellectual level I get that." I said, "But on a real level, I feel like I was using him to fill a void. Now I'm afraid that I am going to do the same thing with Derik. I don't want to be that person who jumps from relationship to relationship just to feel needed, wanted or even loved."
"Nick you're not that person. In the last five years you have been in one relationship and that is with Dante. Before him, there was no one. You were just focused on your work. Now you need to focus on you and getting you better."
I squeezed his hand and said, "That's easier said than done." I stared out the window watching the scenery go by. He occasionally squeezed my hand. I was lost in thought. I know that Jules really wanted to question me on why I didn't tell him I was going through everything that I was going through. He had everything that I wanted and I was jealous of him to be honest. He had a loving wife, two beautiful children, his career was taking off with leaps and bounds and I had no one to really love, I wasn't going to have any children and my career was at a standstill. Shit, I had my masters in nursing and healthcare administration and I wasn't even a supervisor. I felt like I wasn't doing enough with myself or my life.
I have suffered from some level of depression since we were 13. Jules could always pull me out of it. Then the head dreams and the music started when I was 15. The head dreams I used to use as a way to work through different situations see all sides of the coin at the same time. As I got older, they just took a life of their own. The more stressed I got the worse they got. And the music; I hear music all the time, literally. When I was younger, when it first started I could stop it or tune it out. As I got older it magnified 100 fold. When I am stressed and under a lot of pressure it is so loud that I can't even hear someone in the same room speaking to me. As I got older both of these symptoms have just continually gotten worse. In my early 30's I started seeing a psychologist who, after months of therapy, diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. This means that I am just a hair shy of being schizophrenic. He sent me to see a psychiatrist who immediately wanted to put me on medication. I don't like taking meds so I refused. I continued therapy but was making no real progress, I went back to the psych Dr and he started me off on two meds that turned me into a zombie. I mean I was literally drooling unable to function. I went back and all he said was give it time. I thought better of it and stopped the meds and never went back. My therapist found another psychiatrist and I started seeing her. She ordered all kinds of test blood work, MRI's, CT scans the whole gambit. She said that she wanted to make sure that there was nothing organic causing the problems. After that I trusted her completely. In my blood work it was determined that I have sensitivity to certain types of medications. My liver couldn't metabolize certain compounds. This helped her determine what meds to put me on and what combinations. I started feeling better. It was like a dark cloud started to dissipate.
I was fine for a few years and then about two years ago I decided to stop taking the meds. I felt fine at first and then the old symptoms started coming back. I met Dante again and I wanted so badly to feel happy. So I smiled a lot and laughed at the right times nodded yes and no, said the right things at the right times. All the while, I was sinking in an ocean of darkness. Then the suicide attempt. I had thought about it many times before but never did it. Jules would call me all the time as usual but I never told him what I had been going through. He was so happy I just didn't want to bring him down with my funk. So I smiled and laughed at his jokes. He wasn't completely sold by my acting but he never really questioned it. We had grown apart after my move back to DC. I had come to accept that and if I had told him that I was going through so much, he would have dropped everything and come running. I know he would have, but it would not have solved me problem, just put a band-aid on it. So while Dante and I were dating, I sank deeper and deeper and then one day, I had just completed my shift; I went home took a long hot shower and slit my wrist. I had just nicked the artery in my left wrist and just a superficial slice on the right. I bled a lot from the artery wound. I sat with the shower running over me for a while just watching the blood run down the drain. I passed out, fell asleep or some combination of both. The next thing I remember is my uncle standing beside my hospital bed. Romeo, that's what I called him (He was such a lover), was holding my hand just stroking the back side of my hand. He must have seen me open my eyes because he smiled and said, "What the fuck were you thinking?" All I could do was grin. Several weeks in the hospital more medication and I am here where I am today.
I came out of my reverie and I turned around and noticed that the twins were asleep. Both of them shoeless. That's another thing that we are alike with. We both hate to wear shoes. And it looks like the twins do too. We were not too far from the restaurant when I cell phone rang. I started not even to look at it, but I looked at the ID. It was Dante. "Shit" I said.
"What's wrong? Who is it?" Julian said.
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." I answered the phone. "Hello."
"Hey, I just wanted to check on you and see if you calmed down from last night. I expected you to call me to apologize but when you didn't I figured I would call you." Smug son of a bitch.
"Look Dante, I said all that I needed to say last night. I am trying to enjoy my vacation and dealing with you and all that comes with it is getting really tiring. I shouldn't have broken up with you over the phone last night." I noticed Jules staring at me with this questioning look on his face. "I should have waited until I got back so that I could talk to you face to face. You know things..."
"No, you shouldn't have. We've been through a lot of shit, I mean stuff over the last year or so. I been feeling like there is this riff growing between us, I mean you work 12 hour shifts almost 7 days a week. We never get to see each other. Don't think that I am blaming this on you, I don't want you to think that, but I was hoping that we could make this work between us."
"Dante, your right, there is this riff growing between us, it has been there for a while now. Some of it has to do with what happened to me and some of it has to do with what doesn't happen between us. We don't talk, we don't have sex..."
"That's not my fault..."
"Let me finish. We don't have sex or do anything intimate. When was the last time that we even sat down to a meal together? I am not blaming you for all of this, cause like you said I work 12 hour days even on my days off I'm pulling those kinds of shifts. But, this lack of intimacy is really getting to me. This is no secret that sex is very important to me. I enjoy it, I enjoy it a lot. But I don't feel comfortable when we have sex. I am always afraid that the condom is going to break. I have a healthy fear of disease and you know that. I can't fully give myself to you because you have all but refused to go get tested, which frightens me. It says to me that you are afraid that the test is going to come back positive. You should want to get tested at least to protect me. But you don't. The fact that you are willing to put me in that position says a lot about how you feel about me."
By this time were sitting in the parking lot at the GC. Julian was staring at me with this "just do it!" look on his face.
"Jay, you know how I feel about you and I would never want to put you in harms way, but what if the test is positive? What does that mean for us? Does that mean that you are gonna leave me?
"Dante, I don't want to nor will I force you to get tested. But as for you and I, I don't see a future for us. I have been trying to picture a future for me and you for a while now and I just don't see it. I'm sorry if that hurts you in any way `cause that is not my intent. I just have to call it like I see it. We've been holding on to this relationship for far too long. You know that I will always be there for you, just not as your boyfriend, lover or any combination of that. I just don't see it for us any longer." I took a deep breath. I finally felt like it has come to a close and I felt really good about it. "Dante, I really hope that you find what you are looking for and even you have to see that it's not here."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, It's just that this is the longest that I have been in a relationship with anyone it's hard to give up on that but I see your point. Call me when you get back in town so I can come by and pick up my stuff."
"I'll do that. Take care of you OK and talk to you next week." With that I disconnected the call. Jules was staring at me with a smile on his face.
"You feel better now?" He said.
"Yes, I do. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm still a little nervous about dealing with Derik, but all in all, I feel pretty good right now."
"Eat daddy!" one of the twins said from the back seat. I didn't even realize that they were woke.
"Alright buddy, let's go get you guys some grub."
We got out of the truck and we each took a child out of the back seat and went into the restaurant. Jules wasn't kidding when he said that the GC was the kids favorite place to eat. They wanted some of everything and I do mean everything. We were there for about an hour and a half when Jules looked at his phone and said, "We better hit it if you wanna see your sister and mother before the day is over."
I looked at him, smiled and said, "Don't you wanna wait until these monsters go to the bathroom first. I mean they ate a lot which means they are gonna have to go pretty soon. I don't fancy riding around with that smell for the next 45 minutes."
"Oh, they'll be alright, I give them a good hour and then they will need to go." He left a tip on the table and we were off again. We were soon headed towards New Kensington. We were soon heading down winding roads and steep hills. We had been riding in silence for a while when Jules said, "So, tell me about this Derik character."
"There is not much to tell yet. He's 29 about 6'3-6'4 very light complexion and he has these hazel eyes. I could get swallowed up in those eyes. He is a 3rd year surgical resident at Georgetown. He lives alone right around the corner from me in the Towers. Oh yeah, and he has dreads."
"Dreads Jay, you don't like dreads, you think they make people seem unclean." He said this with a laugh.
"Hey, I know that, but they look really good on him. They were very neat. He must have just gotten them done recently because they were braided up and the one braid hung down his back. It made him look sexier to me. I swear Jules, he was beautiful. His smile, his presence, the way he was dressed and to top it all off he can hold a conversation."
He said, "He seems like the full package, I just wonder what it will feel like to you once the newness is gone."
"I don't know Jules, I can't answer that one for you. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Who knows, he may not even have the same kind of feeling for me that I have for him. I don't even know if what I feel for him is even real. But, what I do know is that I haven't been this turned on by a guy in years. Just the mere thought of him gets me hard."
"That's enough of that talk in front of the kids." He said. "We will finish that conversation later. Who do you wanna see first, your mom or your sister?"
I said, "Let's get sis out of the way first, then we will go see mom."
He looked at me and smiled, one of his beautiful smiles. "Mom huh? Well were almost to her place, she lives right down the street from TaShawn."
We pulled up to an apartment building and parked. It was not what I was expecting. It was a nice neighborhood. I don't know why, but I was expecting to see a rundown ghetto type area. I guess Jules is keeping her together. I admired him for stepping up and taking responsibility for her the way that he has. I have too many questions that have been left unanswered and I am not sure if I really forgive her for leaving us the way that she did. I mean, from the time that she left to the time we graduated from high school, I might have seen her 10 times. Now that is saying a lot. She would never answer my questions, so I figured if she wasn't gonna talk, neither was I. Jules called me petty and told me I needed to get over it. "Just let it go!" he'd say. I couldn't or wouldn't which, I'm not really sure.
We got out of the car and each took a kid. I asked the one I was holding, "What's your name?" "Mi" he said. So I took a good look at his face. I wanted to get a good look at him so that I would be able to tell him from his brother. "We go see gamma." He said. "Yes, we go see gamma."
Jules used his key to get into the building and when we got to her door he put Jayden down then he knocked twice and then unlocked the door. "Hey momma, where you at?" he said. I heard her say, "I'm in the kitchen, I'll be right there" We walked into a very well decorated living room, there were knitted blankets on both of the sofa's and one on the recliner. The TV in the far corner was on and the radio. But the TV was on mute. She came walking out of the kitchen carrying an all white cat. When she saw me, she dropped the cat and backed up into the wall. She put her hands over her face and started crying. She looked nothing like the woman I remembered. I really haven't had much contact with her, but I have to admit that my mother was beautiful woman. She had long hair that was naturally straight with a little wave to it. This woman that I was staring at was just a shell of the woman that I knew. My heart broke in that instant. Seeing her, I could care less about what happened in the past. I just knew that this was my mom. So I walked to her and gave her a hug. I just held her and we cried together. We eventually made it over to one of the sofa's. I just held her we didn't say anything, just held each other. She pulled herself into a sitting position and just looked me in the face. She put her hand to my face and said simply. "I missed you."
I was choked up and really couldn't answer her but I eventually said. "I missed you too." We went into a barrage of small talk because for me at this point, there was nothing that needed to be said. She asked me about work, about life in DC. I asked her about her health, which I already knew about. We talked about everything and nothing. It was good just to hold her hand. I eventually looked up and Jules was sitting in the recliner just staring at us with this big fat grin on his face.
"Oh, so know you realize that I'm here?" he said.
My mom said, "Be quiet, I see you just about every day. I haven't seen this one in..."
"A long time." I said. "To long, I'm sorry about that. I will do better, I promise."
She smiled and said, "Honey, it's a two way street." I just nodded.
Jules said, "Do you want me to call your sister, or are you just gonna hang out here for a while?"
"Call her and ask her to come over here, I don't need to go over there, she can come here. I don't want to leave just yet." I knew that I was going to be here for a week, so I had time. I just really wanted to be with my mom for a while.
Jules called TaShawn and she arrived in about 15 minutes. It was good to see her but, after about an hour of small talk; she had to go to take her boyfriend to work and said she would be back. I didn't see her again that day.
After a while, I realized that I was hungry and looked at the time. It was almost 6pm. Jules noticed as well and asked the boys if they were hungry. They both said yes. Jules checked the boys who I noticed for the first time were both wearing pull-ups. Neither of them made a peep about having to go to the bathroom. So I figured they were in the beginning stages. I asked my mom if she wanted to come with us to get something to eat, but I forgot that she didn't really leave the house unless she had to. But she told me that she had some food already prepared for her dinner, she just needed to heat it up. I bent down to kiss her on the cheek and I told her that I loved her and would see her tomorrow.
Jules and I left with the kids and we went back to my hotel suite where we ordered room service. Jules spoke to his wife several times and advised her that he would be home late. He left my room around 9 telling me that he would be back in the morning.
I went to take my shower and remembered that I needed to shave. After that was completed I got in and let the hot water wash the stress of the day away. When I was on my final wash, I thought about Derik. My dick instantly got hard, but I ignored it. I rinsed off and got out of the shower. When I was completely dry I hung up my towel and went and sat on the edge of the bed. I checked my phone to see if Jules had called and he had just sent a text saying "I'm home." I replied with the simple "K LUV U"
I looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost 10. I threw caution to the wind and called Derik. He answered on the second ring.
"Hello" he said with a yawn. I was just imagining that beautiful face of his. That voice was so sexy.
"Jayden, that you?"
"Yeah, it's me. How was your day? I'm sorry to call so late but I had a really long day."
"My day just got a whole lot better now that you called. How was seeing your family?"
"It was really good." I said. "I didn't realize just how much I miss my mom. I haven't seen her in years and it was just really good to see her."
"Hey, are you crying? Is everything really OK? Do you need me to come up there, cause I will."
That last comment really got me to my heart. There was nothing more that I wanted right now than to be held by him. But I put my big boy pants on and said "No, that's really kind of you, but I think I can manage."
"Derik, can I say something to you and I have to say it because this is driving me mad. I know I don't know you but I feel this connection to you. I felt it the moment I saw you walking down the street. I just don't really know how to feel about this just yet. I just, I, I don't know, I just..."
"You think about me all the time and you want to be around me, you miss me like crazy and you are trying to figure out how you could feel this way for a total stranger. Am I summing that up for you pretty good? God I hope I am because, I haven't felt this way ever, I don't even know you and even right now at this very moment, I wish I could climb through this phone and hold you until you fall asleep wake up in the morning and make love to you and hold you some more. Jesus, I don't even know you and you are all that I've been thinking about."
I was sitting there in a state of shock for a minute. I don't even think I heard anything that he said past "total stranger"
"Yes Derik, that's it. I don't know how to feel about you at this moment, but God as my witness I want to find out. How could this be? I don't believe in that love at first site crap, I never have. But when I saw you I just knew that there was something special about you. I knew that I wanted to get to know you. And when I saw you when I was driving around that corner; it was like confirmation or something."
I heard that laugh of his, that beautiful musical laugh and I knew that I wanted him forever. Then he said, "Look, I know this is all sudden, but I think we should take it really slow. I don't want to rush into anything and I just want to get to know you, the real you, down to the essence. I mean, I've never been one for bed hopping and I definitely don't want to start with you. That just ends badly."
"Wow, just wow. I have been needing, craving, wanting, something of real substance. I want it so bad that I can taste it. I have this longing just to be with someone who compliments me..."
"Well, you are pretty good looking..." He cut in.
"No, that's not what I meant. What I mean is I want to be with someone who makes me better. I make him better and together we are like a whole unit you know... We just fit together."
"I know what you mean and I couldn't agree with you more. How about this, when you get back into town we have dinner and we can get to know each other better."
"Absolutely." I said. "I am here until next Monday. I am pretty sure that I will be fairly busy running around with my brother for the duration, but I will definitely keep in contact with you. Just hearing your voice brightens my day. I need that with what I've been through over the last few years."
"Wait, I thought you weren't coming back until Tuesday."
"Yeah, but you know how sometimes you need a vacation from your vacation. I decided to come back a day early so that I can have a day of rest." "Can we have dinner Tuesday night... let's say around 7 since you said you're not home until around 6? Is that OK with you?"
"Yes, I would love that, but are you sure that you will be up for dinner on Tuesday? With you trying to rest and all..." He said.
"Oh no, we will be having dinner on Tuesday. I am really looking forward to it."
"Alright, I'm going to let you get some sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow OK." Derik said.
"Tomorrow it is, sleep tight and be safe." I wanted to say dream of me, but I thought it would be too presumptive.
"Dream about me will you? I know I'll be dreaming of you."
"Derik, I think I will be dreaming of you for the rest of my life."
"Good night!"
"Night." I said and hung up. I can't believe this. He likes me, well, he doesn't really know me so how can he like me? At least it's something to dream about.
Thank you for reading my story. The next chapter will be forthcoming. I try to write a few chapters ahead and edit on the weekends. Thank you those of you who have been in contact with me I really appreciate any comments and constructive criticism.
I can be reached at jaydensluv2016@gmail.com if you would like to reach out. Everyone be safe.