In Skater's Time
Chapter 5 The Opened Book
Writersrealmmm@aol.com
My life was immediately different. Not only did I feel really great about the move to California but also about making a different kind of a friend. I did worry about Gordo though. He said so much I didn't know if it was all true or not. I also had a bit of a problem with the kid's age. I'd never run with anyone younger than me and he was. Yes, he'd put some highlights in my life that no one else had done before but he was the kid that knew too much for his own good. How did he know so much so soon in the first place when I didn't know anything?
When I headed up to the mall each morning it was with the hope of taking up with Gordo, only this time I was determined to give him some highlights of his own. Instead I ended up looking at all the shops and I never caught sight of him or anyone else that I could talk to. Lots of guys walked through the mall with their boards in hand but they were usually in packs and many had giggly girls under their slim arms. They were too busy to notice the new kid.
By the end of the week I figured Gordo had taken off for parts unknown. That's when I went to hang with the early arrivals behind the mall on one of the small patches of grass. These boys weren't nearly as interesting to me as they had been before Gordo showed me the ropes, but a guy can only take alone for so long, and if Gordo was hardly ever around, what good was he to me? It was time to do something else for a while. I needed to be around guys.
The younger guys smoked cigarettes, cursed constantly, and drank when someone could come up with booze, which was always carried in a brown paper bag. They talked about girls they all knew, telling the most intimate details of any sex act she was rumored to have performed in this lifetime or any other. They talked of parties and drugs and orgies where girls gave guys all they wanted. They were Gordo's age and younger but they all seemed so bland and simple compared to him. Of course most everyone I knew was bland compared to him.
The older boys were harder to figure out and that made it harder to get in with them. They were around my age but acted way distant pairing off in a way that cut me off in my attempts to get to know them. I had visions of a group know, you know. Like I'd tell them about myself and they'd all listen and know me, but they formed these tight little subgroups and getting into one gave you no invitation into any other subgroup. It was more complicated than I imagined it should be. That didn't stop me from trying but success didn't come immediately or without the inevitable screw-ups.
Progress was slow and I yawned a lot.
I saw Gordo twice the following week but he didn't seem too interested in seeing me. Both times he was gone before I could catch up with him. I thought, perhaps he was in a hurry to get somewhere else. It didn't make much sense. He was the one who always got the ball rolling so why did he run from me. I wasn't going to be too harsh about his slippery escapes since he was the only friend I had and he represented my entire sex life to date. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and hope the next time he waited up for me. I was once more left to feel the move to California had been a mistake.
One clear bright day in the late afternoon with the young guys disappearing from the lawn the older guys were straggling in one by one. The first two sat and talked with me for a minute, asking me if I was still hanging around, and I explained the bit about relocating and all and me not really having anywhere to go on account I didn't know anywhere else. Before we had a chance to discuss it other guys started showing up, and it was always the same happy hand slaps and giggles and laughs about this thing or that thing they'd done, escaping discovery after doing it.
These guys got into a lot more shit than we did back home. As immature as the younger guys were I was figuring they were way safer than these troubled older dudes. I recognized some of the faces but they were constantly changing and then I wasn't sure if I'd seen them before or not. It was just before dark one evening that three tall boys came skating up on In-lines as I was deciding to leave. I didn't think a thing of it, just three more guys for me not to know, but suddenly all that changed when I heard the names running off one of the boy's lips.
"Hey Ace. How you been? Sup Dart? Freebee."
While I hadn't seen John since he gave me the lowdown on some of the boys, I did remember the name Ace. This was the guy that was in the middle of everything John talked about. If I got to know Ace I was sure I'd finally be in.
"Just about perfect, I am. What's up, dude?" They slapped hands and Ace looked around but never noticed me at all. He seemed... in careful control.
Ace was the biggest of the three boys and maybe that's where his power came from. He was no doubt the oldest. His shoulders were broad and his waist was ample, lacking the swelt and fabulous appearance of most of the rest of us. He was quite ordinary except for his size and the size of his voice, which to be at volume up. He commanded attention and he got it from each boy there in one way or another, except for me, who he didn't seem to see.
I took time to check out his black Spandex and Ace was more than ample with a perfect flaccid outline filling out the picture. It was what got my attention and held it for several long seconds even though it was perfectly relaxed near the top of his legs. He was perhaps ordinary in every other way but there was more to him than the eye could see.
Once I dragged my eyes up I noticed that he had thick black hair and dark eyes. He loomed over that section of lawn, making small talk with the boys that had been there all along, while they all looked up at him and he looked around his parking lot, but never at me. I was not there and he knew it. What was this anyway? I might seem a little goofy to these worldly guys but I wasn't invisible. I wanted to scream out my name, but I didn't.
"I'm Dart," he said, sticking out one tan arm to pivot on as he sat down beside me in spite of my eager eyes that tried to check him out in the instant I had before he was seated.
"I'm Z," I said, swallowing hard as I was feeling the warm evening breeze on my face. He stretched his lean body out quite close to mine. I'd only paid attention to Ace and I hadn't seen Dart seeing me.
"Yeah, I heard ah you," he said, looking around and not at me. "You're from... somewhere else, right?"
He paused in the middle of what he was about to say and changed course. Dart looked at me with one long glance. I mean really looked and I couldn't help but think he knew exactly what was on my mind. I thought, he'd seen me looking at Ace's, but I tried to look at his, maybe that was it. That's why he looked at me the way he did. He knew where my eyes were. I wondered how many suspected my interest in Spandex was a bit on the queer side.
He didn't say anything else, but I could feel his body heat because he was so close to me. Then I caught his scent. He was sweet and yet tart. It was pleasant for my nose and distinctive for my brain. I'd never thought about a guy's smell even once before. Maybe it was the breeze blowing it toward me, but he was so close.
Dart wasn't as tall and wasn't nearly as wide as Ace. I'd heard his name as he tangled fingers with another boy while they laughed, but I was focusing in on Ace at the time. He had brown hair but with a reddish tint near the ends. I had seen that look on guys when they spent too much time in the sun. He was tan but not like Freebee, the third of the new arrivals. Freebee was a delicate golden brown and Dart was ruddy rugged red. The hair was long, wild looking, and tangled, but he was none of that, maybe long, but once he was lying down, it was harder to gauge how long. I suspect long enough.
He was no doubt the friendliest of the older boys so far and we'd only just met. There was something very very smooth about Dart and I might have stood off from a guy like him once, but not under these circumstances. Any friend would be good for me right now. I was just tired of skating and doing everything alone.
He had soft green eyes and an intense expressive face. He wasn't nearly as handsome as Freebee, but even with the chipped tooth in the front of his mouth, there was something very neat looking about this wiry boy. He too wore the telltale black Spandex. It was the one thing that kept me glued to the lawn and the boys I hadn't got to know yet. Seeing each one of them in a way I'd never seen the guys back home, though we'd known each other all our lives. Spandex made the trip to California worthwhile even if I never got into another pair. I had already figured out that guys who showed themselves off that way had to be eager to do more.
Freebee stood only slightly behind Ace's shoulder and didn't have much to say. Dart looked at him and he drew my eyes to the younger boy. He had on yellow Spandex and showed off a lean handsome body. He had the aforementioned golden tan and his hair was a cross between blond and gold. He had sensual dark lips that stayed permanently parted to reveal perfect white teeth. His eyes were a clear sparkling blue that I could see vividly from twenty-feet away. They were opened so wide that I thought I could see his brain. His expression revealed nothing about what was on his mind.
Except for the boys that brought him, Freebee was taller than anyone else. He was a bit muscular but it was more natural, and his body was very nice, even nicer than that when I look back at it. He was no older than me, maybe a little younger than Dart, maybe not that old, but Freebee was enough to turn me queer if I already hadn't made that turn a bit back down the highway. He was as lovely as any girl I'd ever seen, or anyone for that matter.
"Where'd you say you were from," Dart said, turning his attention back to me after listening to some of the conversation with Ace.
"Phoenix," I said as he continued looking at me.
"Oh, hot spot, dude. I done Phoenix for a week one day. You surf?"
"I'm from Phoenix, remember," I reminded him.
"Oh, dude, that don't mean you're dead. You got to surf."
"No, in fact I've never been to the ocean. I've only been here a few weeks. I don't like going places alone. I don't know anyone"
I threw it out hoping for the best and examining the green eyes that examined me for what seemed like too long.
"Man, it makes your peter stand up and your bung hole pucker up. You got to go surfing, dude. I mean you're dead if you don't surf. I don't hang with no dead dudes, dude."
"I'd like that."
"Which do you like best? The Stand up part or the pucker up part? I got this hunch you're a stand up kind of a guy there, Z," he said in a casual way, glancing sideways at me with an easy smile coming to his lips. His thigh pressed against mine as I used my imagination on him. Dart was like a cool breeze and I was already standing up as I lie there next to him.
Now, I must confess that I wasn't entirely sure what the hell we were talking about but it was consistent with a lot of the conversations I'd had, or not had, since arriving in California. He was easy to talk to even though we both knew I had more than a casual interest in the Spandex they all wore. It didn't seem to bother him but it still bothered me that he might think I was gay, even though I was. It was an old fear that everyone could tell when looking at me. I feared I was making no friends because everyone knew, but if everyone knew, Dart didn't seem to mind. Maybe he did know and he liked the idea?
"I'd like to learn to surf," I said, trying not to stare at his Spandex every time I looked in his direction.
Once he rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head to chat with me, it was next to impossible not to glance down there as he watched me. Our faces were like four inches a part but he made no attempt to separate himself from me.
"Good! Good! I'm taking Gordo next week. He said you'd be fun to know. He's a good guy to know, you know. Gordo is one of the good guys. I'm the other. You met both of us first. How lucky is that?"
"You know Gordo?" I swallowed hard and let my eyes move up to his eyes. He was smiling at the interest I had showed in him. It seemed to please him.
"Gordo's cool. He can be a bit immature at times but he can be fun too. He told me all about you. Says you're like totally cool."
"He told you?" I said alarmed.
"What's to tell? No body has to tell anybody much around here. You just keep your eyes open and see what you see. Don't you see things you like?"
"I'm not like that. I wasn't before I came here. I don't know Gordo very well. I don't know anyone. I've only seen him twice and we just talked."
"He seems to know a lot about you. I've never known him to lie. Guys do talk in different ways. Is that what it is?"
"I don't know," I said, unable to answer the question without thinking about confessions, admissions, and lingering guilt, and that damn Spandex, which was spanding big time as we chatted.
"I see, while he was doing you it was fine and you were that way, but once it was done, you changed your mind? You thought you did but you actually don't? Is that it? Lots of that goes around here. We all take it where we can get it but that's not what you told him, is it? You wanted something from him, I think he said."
"No! I don't know. I don't know what he told you."
"That's right. You don't. He said you needed a friend. He said you wanted to be his friend. He's not sure he's all that good a friend and he thinks I am, and that's what he told me about you, but I'm thinking there's more than that since you act like there is. Is there more, Z?"
"I want to have someone to hang with. I mean to do stuff with. I mean, hang out. That's what I want if that's what he told you."
"Well, we're hanging out, and we're going surfing. You can come too if you like. You look like you're a lot more fun than you say you are," Dart said, looking at me and pulling down on it while he was watching my eyes go there to watch his hand. "A lot more fun from what I can see."
"I'd like going out with you," I said, sounding simple minded when I listened to my words. I was so goofy. I wasn't fooling anyone. I certainly wasn't fooling Dart.
I knew, if I said anything else it would sound just as goofy as what I'd already said, so I stopped trying to out fox Dart. It was more than evident he knew where my interest lay whether or not it was Gordo that told him. It was a done deal before he started talking to me about it. Of course he already had the answers and simply made up the questions as he went along.
"He told me that too," he said, pulling down on himself again and this time he helped me stare at it. "You'll both enjoy yourselves."
I didn't know what the fuck I meant. Gordo told him! Shit! He'd think I wanted to.... Even if I did, I didn't want him thinking I did. I'd wanted to for a long time but I hadn't yet. I should have known Gordo's mouth would get me in trouble.
"He does talk a lot," I said. "I like him fine to hang out with, but him not running his mouth about it would be cool too."
"Z, he wants to help, okay. He likes you. He wants you to get what you want and that's where I come in. He's just not sure he's what you need. He's got problems and doesn't want you in the middle of them. That's all he told me."
"He does? I like him fine. What kind of problems?"
"It's a long story and if he wants to tell you it's fine. It's not for me to say," he said, looking skyward.
"He's nice to me. Nobody else even talks to me. They look at me like I'm a geek." I looked around as I spoke.
"Gordo what you like? I mean young like him?"
"Yes! No! I don't know what I like. I never been around guys like you guys. I feel stupid trying not to sound stupid in front of you. I don't know anything except I want to know."
"He knows a lot about a lot but he ain't got a lot if you know what I mean."
"And you do?" I said curtly as he pulled on it for me.
"What you see is what you get," he said proudly, admiring himself. "Me, I like my girlfriend more, you see. Gordo's entertaining if he wants to be and that's cool. I'm fine with that if he catches me in-between. I'm way easy, you know. I like most stuff. What's not to like, huh?"
"In-between?"
"Him and the real deal. My girl works odd hours. If someone catches me at the right time, I can get with that. Maybe I should have said he's young and I'm not. And then the question is, did you like him because he was young or because he was there? And does a girlfriend make a difference to you. My girlfriend, not yours? That's what I should be asking, maybe."
"Mostly he was there," I answered without hesitation, letting his eyes look deep into mine where he could find my interest. I finally got one right. He liked that answer. He smiled warmly at me.
"Cool," was the reply, letting the word roll over his tongue and it ran on after he had finished with it. His lips were uneven and sexy as hell.
Suddenly I understood the language. Without him ever using the words I knew what he was asking me. My heart jumped and my face grew hot as my eyes lingered in his as his knee bent and firmly touched my thigh. There was an electric charge that transferred from him to me and I wondered how he did that. I was lucky I wasn't wearing Spandex.
The deal had been struck. I was on standby along with Gordo for when his girlfriend wasn't available. What that meant or why Gordo thought Dart was more qualified than he was, I didn't know, but I was going to go along with the deal until I found out. It was far better than any other offer I'd gotten.
I looked at his knee and how it rested on my bare thigh, following up from the knee until I was looking at his crotch. Just as I was about to look back up at his face, and while thinking how outrageously lucky I was to be there with him, I found myself the center of attention. The boss had worked his way around to me. What timing!
"Who's this," Ace asked Dart as his eyes worked me over.
"Gordo's buddy," he said, leaving me to cringe over their knowledge.
Did Ace know all about me and Gordo too?
"Oh yeah. Gordo's such a wimp some times," Ace said. "Your Q right."
"Z actually."
"You're too rough, Ace," Dart protested. "You scare him. He's okay."
"Am I rough, Freebee?" Ace asked. "I'm a pussy cat, aren't I?"
"No, you're not rough," Freebee answered, moving back up to Ace's shoulder to help him look down on me. I felt like a biology experiment and they could quite figure out what I was.
"See, I'm not rough. He keeps coming around. He must like whatever it is he's coming around for."
"He's a kid. He's curious. He wants what he wants," Dart said.
"He doesn't seem to mind you all that much," Ace said.
"I don't ask for anything. He is what he is. He's a nice kid. He likes me. That's cool."
"Yeah, well, he don't need to come over if he feels that way," Ace said dismissive. "I never asked him to come over. It's his idea. He makes a mess he's got to clean it up is all."
You could see that Dart and Ace had an easy alliance in spite of words that sometimes seemed harsh. They disagreed on something but that's all it was. Ace propped his foot up on the curb between Dart's calves. No one noticed but me.
"It just seems you could be nicer if you wanted. Why not tell him not to come over if he doesn't like what goes on."
"It's availability, my boy. Gordo likes availability. He wants what he wants when he wants it, and I, being the... pussy cat that I am, let him have what he wants at those times. Sometimes in return, I want what I want, and therein must lies the problem. He never says anything to me. He never complains about it. I think he's yanking your big strong chain so you'll feel good, Dart. Gordo knows exactly what he's doing at all times."
There were some laughs and a couple of the other guys agreed. I wasn't sure exactly what this conversation was about. I did think back on a few of the things Gordo had said about guys wanting things he didn't want to give up. This seemed consistent with some of what Ace said. It didn't tell me much except that Gordo got around and he didn't hesitate getting me to go in the woods with him as quick as the subject came up, not to mention our trip up to Pat's so he could get his done.
Now there were stories from Dart & Ace, and Freebee had to fit in there somewhere. Nobody that looked like Freebee, didn't not fit in anywhere he damn well pleased. He was what I thought a California boy was, when I lived in Phoenix.
Dart didn't have any of that. His arms were too long, his face seemed ill conceived, and in spite of all that unruly hair one of his ears showed up anyway. His eyes were either too close together or too far a part, I couldn't which, and his eye brow never stopped, one joining the other without making any attempt to make room for his nose, which seemed small considering he had big pouting lips and a heavy chin. When you looked at one of those ears, or at how full his lips were, or how near or far each eye was from the other, it seemed awkwardly done, maybe a rush job at the end of the day. Only once you put it all together and that chipped tooth smile was on you, the heat rose up, starting at that space between your legs, mine anyway.
Once you found his eyes on you, well, it didn't matter which was nearer or further away from you or each other. It was altogether quite pleasing and exciting, and I haven't begun to describe his Spandex and how he filled it. No, what Dart had, had nothing to do with beauty and everything to do with desire. I was smart enough to know the difference.
Ace forgot about me and ended up talking to yet another boy around on the other side of the lawn. I had been noticed, and that was fine. I felt sure what I really wanted to find out would come from Dart. For all that Ace was he wasn't someone I would trust if it weren't the last possible option. He was familiar with and considerate to most of the boys, but overall I thought he was too much when a little less might do.
"You any good with that thing?" Dart asked while I was considering other things.
"My board?" I said after taking time to analyze the question.
"Yeah, I don't ask questions like that about a guys other skills. Lighten up, will you. We'll find out about that later on... if you want that is."
"I will? Okay! I'm as good as anyone as far as my board is concerned." We were running into language problems again but I winged it and waited and followed the clues.
"Can you keep up with In-Lines?"
"Haven't had any trouble so far," I said.
"My girl isn't home until late. I can show you around some. If you want? I got time."
"She's not? You do?
"These guys'll be bullshittin' each other until the mall cops run them off here. I can only take so much of that."
"You lead the way. I'll keep up."
He was up and skating before I finished my words. As I hit my board he yelled, "Later, Ace," but never looked back.
I propelled myself along, staying close to him as we flew. He wasn't quite as spastic as Gordo, but he was every bit as fast.