The following is property of the author. Permission to post is granted to Nifty Archives.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence. Do no read this story if man-to-man romance or sex offends you. Do not read if you are underage according to laws in the country, state/province, county, city/town/village or township where you live.
This is a love story. I've attempted to create a tale where the characters are involved in living life to its fullest. Although sex is part of this story, so are romance, pain and self-realization.
Ever since I was a little boy I've loved the Spanish language and the Mexican culture. I suppose that's why I've chosen to incorporate the language into my story. I ask both your forgiveness and your indulgence for any atrocities that I may have committed in the writing of this lovely language. The effort has forced me to call all the way back to the two years of Spanish I studied in high school, which in my case, was more than a few years ago.
I hope you enjoy the tale.
I like to receive e-mail and will attempt to answer all messages. Mail to: rustynail920@yahoo.com
IN THE DIRECTION OF HAPPINESS - PART 5
Chapter 14 - Distant Thunder
"Sarah, what's wrong?"
"Steven, I'm so sorry for calling you at Mark's. Please tell him and his wife how sorry I am. When will you be home?"
"My flight leaves Spokane at 3:30 P.M. on Sunday. What has happened?"
"I'll give you all the details when I see you. Do you remember me telling you that Miguel and I fled our home in New Mexico?"
"Yes."
"The trouble has followed us to Los Angeles and I'm very frightened. Our house was vandalized and a threatening letter was nailed to our front door. Miguel and I have left our home. We are staying with a friend of Miguel's. His name is Eduardo and he is a good man. I called your house and left his name and phone number on your answering machine. Steven, I don't want to ruin the rest of your vacation but please call me when you get home."
"I will. Are you safe?"
"I think so. They don't know Eduardo."
"Have you gone to the police?"
"No, but we will. I was hoping to get your advice before we do. It's very complicated."
"All right, stay with your friend until I return. I will call as soon as I get home. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, just scared. Have you had a nice vacation Steven?"
"Wonderful. I'll tell you all about it. I've come to believe that you really are a Bruja. Your prediction about my coming to a crossroads was absolutely correct. And yes, I've finally faced the truth about myself. Thank you Sarah."
"I'm so happy for you amigo. When will I meet Mark?" There was genuine happiness in her voice.
"Very soon. Be safe and I'll call as soon as I'm back. If anything else happens, go to the police and then call me. Okay?"
"I will. Adios Steven."
Hanging up the phone I silently wondered what I might have stumbled into. As I've already said, I really liked Sarah. Her insightful, if that's the right word, exhortations helped prepare me for the unexpected events with Mark and Barbara. I could feel a stirring in my soul that something was going on. The pieces of the puzzle were beginning to move.
Over the years I'd come to believe that God silently and purposely orchestrates events that lead us in the direction of happiness. On the other hand, I also believe that we have been given free will. The choices we make when responding to God's 'prompting' will determine our ultimate happiness. As I thought about the unfolding events, I sensed His prompting.
Sarah had told me that she believed our meeting was not by chance. My heart told me that she was correct. The choice laid before me was clear. Should I help my new friend or leave her on her own? The answer was equally obvious; of course I would help.
Returning to the living room I explained about Sarah. I watched Mark's face closely for any subtle reactions. Although he seemed to have a new understanding or perhaps awareness of God, I doubted that his scientific mind would allow him to accept the metaphysical implications of Sarah's beliefs. Both Mark and I studied scientific disciplines in college. It was hard enough for me to let go of my practical and scientific reasoning, but I had been raised in the church, and perhaps that made it easier for me to accept the unexplainable. Long ago I accepted that there would be some aspects of my life that science could not explain. For the most part my spirit and mind worked together in harmony.
"Do you have any idea what kind of trouble she's in?" Mark asked.
"Not really. She told me that part of the problem was with her father and his reactionary religious beliefs. Evidently there is no room for independent thinking in that family. The Four Square Church is doctrinally Pentecostal and fundamental in scriptural interpretation. There would be little tolerance for what they would consider witchcraft.
Whatever Sarah's intuitive gifts might be, her father felt them to be unscriptural. She told me that was part of the reason she and Miguel left home. But it's hard for me to imagine that their father could be responsible for the fear that caused them to leave so suddenly or the ransacking of their home in Los Angeles. There must be more going on. She didn't want to talk about it over the phone and she's obviously frightened."
"I know you want to help Sarah but do you think it wise?" Barbara asked with concern in her voice.
"I don't know, but I can't let her face this alone. I don't think she or Miguel have many friends in L.A. I know this sounds strange, but like it or not, I think I'm already involved."
"I think you are too," Carl said. "Your heart is speaking to you and you need to listen. But you must listen to your head as well as your heart. Don't unnecessarily put yourself in danger. You won't help Sarah if you get hurt."
"I don't care if it's your heart, a witch, or even God speaking to you. Damn it all Steven. I can't sit back and let you walk into possible danger. I won't."
Mark's reaction was sudden and out of character. I knew he wasn't angry, but frightened.
"Stevie, you promised to be my life partner. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you. I'm sure that Carl and Barbara feel the same way. We are your family and we love you. Please don't do this. Stay here until I can move back with you. Dan and Karen can run the nursery."
"No Mark, they can't. The nursery is too busy. They would soon be overwhelmed. I love you and I'm not going to do anything foolish. I want to spend the rest of my, hopefully long life, at your side. You are my life partner and my whole reason for living. You've got to know that I won't risk that. When I get back I'll call Sarah at Eduardo's home. I'll set up a time to meet with her and find out what is going on and try to determine the best way to handle the situation. If I think it's a matter for police involvement I'll call them right away."
An eerie feeling swept over me as I remembered meeting Detective Brad Sloane on the airplane. Was it a coincidence or another piece in the puzzle? Just as Sarah believed that our meeting was not by chance, I had similar feelings about meeting Brad.
"What is it Steven, what are you thinking about?" Barbara asked.
"A man boarded my plane in San Francisco and sat next to me. His name is Brad Sloane and he's a detective working for the Los Angeles Police Department. He investigates hate crimes. We talked about the epidemic rise of hate crimes in America and the explosion of hate based propaganda on the Internet. We also talked about the nursery and his interest in horticulture. Anyway, we became friends and I agreed to help him install his sprinkler system."
"That settles it. First you take up with a young women and now a cop. I'm definitely not letting you out of my sight," Mark said with a sly smile.
I winked at him. I sensed that he was starting to relax again.
"I was just thinking that Brad will probably turn out to be a big help if we need to involve the L.A.P.D. Maybe Sarah is correct, our meetings have not been by chance."
Mark and I had sex at every possible opportunity. My cock was actually a little sore from so much use. Sunday arrived much too soon and I awakened depressed. I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving him. My face was nuzzled against his neck and I could feel my tears as they silently slid down my cheeks.
"Are you crying sweetheart?
"A little."
"I'll leave with you today if you'd like. Chester will probably understand and I will fly back at Christmas to be with Patrick. My heart aches at the thought of us being apart."
"Thank you for saying that, but no, it wouldn't be right. Chester has told me how valuable you have been to his business and he is worried about replacing you. You just can't do that to him, especially after his unwavering support. And I'm so worried about Patrick. He loves his daddy as much as I do. Don't shortchange one minute with him. Make the next six weeks something he will remember all of his life."
Mark pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I could tell that he too was crying.
"Promise me that you will be careful. I know you have to help Sarah, but I'm worried about you. Please call your detective friend as soon as you can. Promise me that you will be safe and waiting for me in January."
"I promise to be careful, and I'll call Brad just as soon as I can. You're the heart of my heart. I can never again be content without you by my side. Yes, I'll be waiting for you."
Mark, Barbara, Carl, Patrick and Melissa all went to the airport with me. Melissa was shy yet loving. I told her I wanted a full report after the N'SYNC concert and she promised she would call me. Patrick carried my suitcase and held my hand as we walked through the terminal. He was sad to see me leave. We talked about all the fun things we would do during the summer months. By the time we said goodbye he was smiling and excited.
Carl surprised me. He held me in his strong arms then looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm going to miss you Steven. I love you." He kissed my lips and smiled.
Barbara too was tearful yet radiant in her new joy.
"How can I ever tell you how much you mean to me? I'll let you know when we set a wedding date."
We warmly hugged and kissed each other. I realized once again how much I had come to love her.
Mark and I could hardly talk. Knowing how difficult it would be at the airport, we said goodbye at home. I placed my hand on his cheek and told him that I loved him. He leaned forward and gently kissed my lips. With the bravest smile I could muster, I waved goodbye and walked to the waiting plane.
Chapter 15 - Dan
My flight was uneventful and I arrived at my home around 8:00 p.m. Dan was waiting for me in the house. He greeted me with a warm and enthusiastic hug.
"Welcome home buddy," he said with a big grin.
"Thanks Dan, I had an incredible vacation but in many ways it's good to be home. How are you?"
"Really fine. Everything ran smoothly and I even have a surprise for you."
"I knew you would take good care of the place. I really value your dedication to the job. But even more than that, I appreciate your friendship." I put my arm over his shoulders and pulled him close to me.
"What's this about a surprise?"
"The five acres behind the greenhouse has available water. I installed an irrigation system similar to what we have in the native tree area. I also poured concrete walkways. We are ready to expand."
This was great news. I needed this area developed so I could expand my inventory. I had run out of space for additional plants and was forced to turn down orders. It was a big job and I knew he must have worked day and night to get it finished before I got home. I also knew he wanted to surprise me.
"When did you find the time to do all of that? I just can't believe it. This is a wonderful surprise. I don't know how I can ever thank you."
He was beaming from ear to ear. I'd known for a long time that Dan considered me his best friend and on some level, he loved me. He did everything he could to make me happy and this was truly a labor of love.
Truth be told, I had come to love Dan. If I didn't have Mark, I could have easily been swept 'head over heals' by Dan. Gary too. Although physically different I find both men very attractive. Both have been loyal and highly valued friends.
"I stayed here at the house and spent my free time working on the project. It's not a big deal. I enjoyed doing it. We really need the added space."
"It is a big deal. You spent a lot of time doing this for me and I want you to know just how much it means to me. Actually, I want you to know just how much you mean to me. Sit and talk with me for a bit, okay? Have you eaten dinner yet?
"Sure, I really missed you man. I ate a late lunch but I'm starting to get a little hungry."
"Good, I'll order a pizza. Is there anything here to drink?"
"Beer and sodas."
I was a little apprehensive to tell Dan about my new relationship with Mark. I didn't want him to feel threatened or insecure about his job or doubt my affection for him. Dan is rather shy and quiet. He doesn't have many friends although he has a winning personality. Like me, he prefers to spend time alone or with a few intimate friends. Not one for parties or mindless social affairs, he's pretty much a loner. In the years I'd known him he only dated a few girls and the relationships were never serious. Women found him attractive though. Whenever we were out together he would always garner more than his share of admiring looks from the ladies.
Dan is handsome, in a Brad Pitt sort of way. He is 5'10" tall and has a lean, swimmers body. His hair is sandy blond and his eyes are blue. His well-defined chest is smooth although he has hair on his stomach with a prominent trail that leads from his belly button down below the waist of his pants. His legs are covered with golden hair. He looks like he should be surfing at Malibu.
"There are a few things I want to tell you about. First, and most important, I don't think I've ever taken the time to let you know how important you are to me. Knowing that you were in charge, I never worried about my business while I was away. That is a luxury most employers would covet. I'm grateful for your dedication to the business and to me personally."
"Well shoot, that isn't any big deal. I really love my job, and I think you know how I feel about you. I'd do anything for you. I don't consider my job to be work at all. I feel as if I'm hanging out with my best friend. I'm a very lucky man."
"Thank you, but I feel like I'm the lucky one. Okay buddy, I want to proposition you."
"Finally," he said while mischievously smiling at me. I returned the grin.
"I will be making more frequent trips to Washington to help Barbara with the nursery. She's doing a great job and is generating considerable new business. But she needs help. I want to assist her in hiring an employee and possibly looking for a larger location. Her entire backyard is taken up with nursery stock and that's not fair. I also want to spend some time expanding our Internet business and intend to become more involved within the industry.
I'd like you to take over as manager of the nursery. You would be working full-time and making most of the business decisions. Much like you did while I was away. If you want the position, I'll make it worth your while. Your annual salary will be raised to $50,000. I'm also working on a profit sharing program. Next week I'm meeting with some insurance people to discuss medical coverage. You, Karen and Barbara deserve a good medical program and a decent share of the profits.
Take whatever time you need to think about it. I don't want you to feel pressured into accepting the position and I won't think poorly of you if you turn it down. I really want what is best for you. After all, you are my friend."
Dan just stared at me in disbelief. I felt confident that he would be thrilled with the position and I was counting on him accepting it. Even with Mark's assistance, I would still need a full-time manager. I'd already missed too many opportunities due to my lack of time.
"There's nothing to think about. Of course I'll take the job. Thank you so much!"
"You'll be taking a large load off of my shoulders and besides, you are a big part of my life and I want your financial future to be secure."
The pizza arrived and we each opened a bottle of beer.
"Can I talk with you about something personal?"
"Of course."
"I've never tried to hide anything from you. I'm an honest person and I don't like telling lies or even hiding things from the people I love. And Dan, let me say it now, I do love you."
"I love you too."
"I know that. That's why I want to talk with you. Although we've never spoken about my sexual life, I'm sure you know that I'm Gay. After all, you saw me kissing Mark only days after I moved here. And by the way, thank you for the gracious way that you handled that awkward situation. It's time I told you about my relationship with Mark. I'm sure you've been very confused about it. If it's any consolation, I've been very confused about it myself."
"You don't have to tell me anything. Yes, I have been confused and often very concerned, but I respect your privacy."
"I want to tell you. You deserve an explanation and ultimately it involves you.
Mark and I were roommates in college. I soon fell in love with him but I was in denial about my sexuality and never said anything to him. I felt that one day the right woman would come along and 'cure' me. Well, that never happened. Mark dated many women and I had no reason to believe that he was anything other than he appeared - hopelessly straight.
After graduation we each accepted jobs that took us out of the area. Fortunately we lived close enough that we were able continue our friendship. We went camping and hiked all over the Southern Sierra Nevada Mountains and Mojave Desert. On one particular overnight hiking trip Mark told me that he loved me. I confessed my love for him and we were both incredibly happy. We hugged, cuddled and even kissed, but nothing more. Fearful of frightening off the other, neither one of us said anything about sex. That was a mistake. We both wanted to share sexual intimacy but we kept it a secret from each other.
Mark knew that he was bisexual and didn't carry the emotional baggage I did. He had sexual needs that needed satisfying and Barbara was available. Soon after they met, Barbara moved in with him.
Mark and I continued to get together as often as possible. We expressed our love to each other verbally and romantically but not sexually. We didn't even talk about sex until that night you saw us kissing.
Mark had just learned that Barbara was pregnant and was pretty upset. We discussed his options and eventually the subject turned to sex. After a few beers and a bottle of wine, we admitted our desire for each other. We realized that had we been honest from the beginning, we could have avoided a lot of heartache. But by then it was too late.
They married a month later. It wouldn't be fair to Mark or Barbara for me to go into detail about their private lives. I'll simply say that neither one was happy. They stayed together all of these years for Patrick.
Our love continued to grow, but from a distance. We didn't see each other as often yet we both knew in our hearts that we wanted to be together. Last year, because of growing frustration over being apart, complicated by a series of misunderstandings, we had a fight. Of course you already know about that and what has happened since then.
Well Dan, the story has taken another turn..."
Dan asked me to hold for minute while he went to the bathroom. I got up and opened another bottle of beer for each of us. When he returned I asked him if he was uncomfortable with my 'confessions'. He assured me that he was fine and was pleased that I was sharing with him.
"Prior to my leaving for Washington I was certain something was going on with Barbara and Mark, but I didn't know what. I soon found out, and it was the last thing I expected. Barbara and Mark are divorced. They have remained very good friends and both Melissa and Patrick are supportive. Barbara is engaged to Melissa's father and they are very happy. His name is Carl and I like him."
I could tell by Dan's face that the news had shaken him.
"I was surprised too." I guess you can figure out where the story is going from here."
"I think so."
"Mark has asked me to be his life partner and I accepted. He will be moving in with me right after the first of the year. We will have an informal commitment service celebrating our partnership. I'm hoping you'll attend and give us your blessing."
He was silent. I was beginning to think he was mad, or maybe hurt, but realized he was thinking. He finally spoke.
"Since we are being honest with each other, I need to tell you something. I've been in love with you for a long time. I'm bisexual, but until I met you, I had never been in love with anybody. I could tell that you liked me and I even hoped that you might come to love me. But I knew in my heart that you were in love with Mark."
Once again his face became thoughtful. I said nothing.
"I really like Mark and I'm happy for both of you. If I can't have you, then I'm glad he can."
"Thank you Dan. I do love you, I hope you know that. I also find you very attractive and if circumstances were different, well, who knows what may have happened between us."
He smiled yet I could see that his eyes were misty.
"Does this make you feel any differently toward me?
He thought about the question before answering.
"No, I guess not. I'll always love you Steve."
I walked over to the couch where he was seated and sat down next to him. I put my arm around him.
"I'll always love you too. You can't have a real friendship without love. I'd like to just sit with you for a while. Is that okay?"
"Yes I'd like that."
I pulled him against my side and lightly kissed him on the lips. He smiled and gently leaned his head against my shoulder.
"If you ever want to talk about your sexuality, please know that I'll always be here for you. So will Mark. I don't want you wasting years of your life, like I did. You're a great guy and should be enjoying the romantic and sexual company of somebody special. You're lucky. You have good friends that love you and understand the difficulties bisexual and Gay people face. Please let us help you any way we can. Did you know that Gary is Gay?"
"No, I had no idea. He's very masculine appearing and straight acting."
"It's not an act. He's homosexual but he doesn't live in a Gay world. Actually he resents Gays that flaunt their sexuality. He is completely comfortable with who he is and makes no excuses about it, but he doesn't approve of Gays and Lesbians who call unnecessary attention to their lifestyle.
I opened up to him years ago and he has been very helpful and supportive. I've cried on his shoulder many nights. He has a rock solid faith in God and a rare awareness of who he is. He's always liked you and I'm sure will be happy to talk with you, should you want him to. We've never discussed your sexuality so I doubt he has any idea that you're bisexual."
"It's nice to know that I have supportive friends. I've felt so alone most of my life."
"We all have. Society is slowly changing but it's still not safe for us to be ourselves. You can get yourself killed if you're not careful. Sad to say, but in this day of enlightenment, it's still socially acceptable to ridicule Gays. When is the last time you heard a standup comic make fun of Blacks, women or other minorities? Fortunately that doesn't happen much anymore, yet their comedy routines are still riddled with pot shots against fat people and Gays. The two groups you can still safely torment. It's lonely and painful when you're different. I want you to know that you're not alone. You have friends who love you. I told Mark that I was planning to talk with you and he asked me to send his love."
I could tell that Mark's expression of affection touched him. A warm smile lit his face.
"How did you and Mark know that I am bisexual?"
"We didn't. I suspected you might be. Some things that you've said coupled with your unwavering loyalty caused me to wonder how deep your feelings ran. I began to suspect that you might be a 'switch hitter'. After Mark and Barbara moved to Washington I picked up on subtle gestures that led me to believe I would be welcome in your bed. Also, something Mark observed seemed to confirm my suspicions. You remember the fight I had with Mark, right?"
"Of course, you had us all so worried."
"In the heat of the argument Mark said something that really surprised me. He was worried that you and I were having sex. Actually his accusation was a little more graphic than that. Later I asked him what made him jump to that conclusion. He said that he knew you were in love by the way you look at me."
"I didn't know I was that obvious"
"You weren't Dan. Mark is very sensitive to human nature. He came to an incorrect conclusion, but I knew there was some truth to his observation. Besides, the three of us have become pretty close friends over the years. Love is hard to hide among friends.
If I get too personal, just tell me to mind my own business, okay?"
"You're not. I'm enjoying our talk, and the closeness."
Maybe it was the beer, or perhaps the release of tension that comes with honesty, but Dan was looking totally relaxed.
"Would you like another beer Dan?"
"Sure. Will you mind me spending the night? I don't want to drive if I have another one."
"Of course not, you can spend the night whenever you'd like."
I got us another beer and sat back down next to him.
"Have you ever had sex with a man," I asked.
"Yes. In high school I had a good friend who is Gay. His name is Dave and we enjoyed each other's company. We spent most of our free time together. Although we were the same age, he had considerable sexual experience whereas I had only masturbated. He told me what it was like to have sex with other guys and I was intrigued. He encouraged me to explore my sexuality but never tried to do anything with me.
As our senior year was drawing to a close, a group of us decided that we wanted to spend a day together at the beach. We knew that it would be the last chance for all of us to get together. Several of my friends, including Dave, would be leaving for college at the end of summer. The plan was to meet at the school parking lot early Saturday morning. My parents were away visiting my grandparents in Phoenix so I asked Dave to spend Friday night with me. We would get up early and leave together in the morning.
I had a plan. I was going to ask Dave to teach me about sex. My imagination had been running wild, mostly from lack of knowledge. I had heard about blowjobs and ass fucking between guys, but wasn't sure if all of that was true.
After school we got some hamburgers at McDonald's and brought them back to my house. I got up my nerve and asked Dave if he would have sex with me. I told him that I was curious and wanted to finally experience some things for myself. At first he was reluctant. He was worried that it might ruin our friendship. After considerable coaxing, he agreed.
We went into my bedroom and lay side by side on my bed. He put his arm around me and began kissing my mouth. It felt good and I quickly began kissing him back. We undressed each other and explored our bodies. I was so excited. The new sensations were overwhelming. When I thought I was at the peak of ecstasy Dave took my cock into his mouth and began sucking it. It was so incredible I just let lose. I couldn't hold it back and I came in his mouth. I was embarrassed but Dave was so sweet. He told me that what I did was normal and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. I really did. After a few minutes I recovered and was anxious to suck his dick. He let me and I was hooked.
We never did go the beach with our friends. I called early the next morning and told them I couldn't go. I also told them that I'd heard from Dave and he couldn't go either. We spent the entire weekend at my house, mostly in my bed."
"Wow, what a first experience," I said.
"Dave and I continued to have sex throughout the summer, then in August he left for college. We've stayed in touch but haven't been together since. Actually I haven't had sex with any other men. Dave was my one and only."
"You've been with women, I'm assuming."
"Yes, a few. I enjoyed the sex but it wasn't as intense as it was with Dave. I don't know why. Perhaps because Dave was my first. But until I met you Steve, I had no idea what it feels like to be in love. As wonderful as sex is, it doesn't compare with the feelings I have in my heart for you."
"I'm very touched that you feel that way about me. I love you very much too. If circumstances were different, I'd probably be 'in love' with you. But let's not shortchange what we do have. Our friendship is wonderful and unique. Nothing will change the closeness and love we have for each other, even if we don't have sex.
I've been in love with Mark since I was 20 years old. Even without sex those were incredibly happy years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. I'm not one of those people that think sex should be saved for marriage or true love. Sex is great and it's completely natural to want to engage in it. But, when love and sex come together, that's the best. That's what I want for you.
I've always been a pragmatic type of guy, not easily trusting feelings or emotions. But with the way events have been unfolding in my life, I'm starting to trust my intuition. Something tells me that your Prince or Princess Charming is close at hand."
"I hope you're right Steve. I'm hoping for a Prince."
Something wonderful happened between us that night. We both knew that our friendship had moved to a new and comfortable place. Sex wasn't an issue, yet a spark of sexual excitement continued to flicker between us. More playful than anything else, we both knew we could never let it become anything more. I wasn't at all tempted to cheat on Mark. I could never do that. But something was definitely kindled between Dan and myself.
Chapter 16 - The Storm Approaches
"Buenos Dias." A soft male voice spoke.
"Hi, my name is Steven Houston. May I speak with Sarah?"
Getting up early I made breakfast for Dan and myself then decided to call Sarah. I retrieved Eduardo's phone number from the answering machine and with some reluctance, I called. The more I thought about the situation, the less sure I was about my involvement.
When a young man answered, speaking Spanish, I momentarily hesitated. I had studied Spanish for two years in high school but felt I had forgotten most of it. I was pleased when he switched to English.
"Good Morning, you must be Steven," he said cheerfully.
"Yes, and you must be Eduardo," I replied.
"No, I'm Miguel, Sarah's brother. Thank you for calling us. Sarah has told me all about you and I want to thank you for the graciousness you've shown my sister. I'm glad I have a chance to talk with you before I put her on the phone. I know how persuasive my sister is and how she can work her magic on people. I want you to know that you have no obligation to become involved with people you don't even know. Sarah has a big heart and she sees good in everybody. Unfortunately that has gotten her into trouble with people who are ruthless and without a heart. Please understand that we don't expect you to put yourself in danger. Perhaps you can just give us some advice. We've been in Los Angeles for a very short time and, other than the police, we don't know where to turn."
"I don't know what help I can offer, but I will do what I can. In the very brief time we had together your sister gave me some good advice and I feel she is a friend. You're right though, she worked her magic on me, and I think I'm glad she did so."
"Again, I thank you Steven. I'll put Sarah on the phone."
In a few moments her bright and cheerful voice greeted me. She sounded so much better today. As she spoke I again felt the same sense of wonder that I experienced when we sat together talking in the donut shop. A stirring within my soul, perhaps. Or, as Miguel called it, magic. This young Bruja had powers beyond anything I was accustomed to, but I felt at ease. Unlike the manufactured holiness that accompanied a Connie Latham meeting, this was genuine.
She was not comfortable talking about the problem on the phone so I agreed to meet her and Miguel at Eduardo's home later that afternoon. She gave me a Santa Monica address. We continued to talk on the telephone. She wanted to hear all about my vacation and, most importantly, about Mark. I told her that I was finally comfortable with my sexuality and my involvement with Mark. She was thrilled for me and asked if she could tell Miguel. I told her she could, although I couldn't imagine why he would care.
"Oh he will be so happy for you Steven. Miguel is a wonderful man. You will become good friends. You are very much alike you know."
"No, how could I know that?" I asked.
"You will see," she said with a giggle in her sweet voice.
Mid-afternoon I arrived at Eduardo's house. He warmly greeted me at the door and invited me into his small home. Upon entering, my senses were overwhelmed. The rich aromas of warm corn tortillas and simmering meats permeated the air. A stereo was playing and I could hear the beautiful voice of Joan Baez singing the Mexican folk song, 'El Preso Numero Nueve' and, wherever I looked, the house was splashed with bright and cheerful color. I felt I had walked into a joyous Mexican fiesta and I immediately felt happy.
Eduardo appeared to be in his fifties, short with an average build. His face was graced with a contagious smile and jovial eyes. His dark hair was just beginning to show gray at the temples. His appearance reminded me of Caesar Chavez. Although his English was poor he made me feel quite comfortable. He explained that Sarah and Miguel had gone to the carniceria and would be back shortly. He offered me a delicious beverage that he called horchata de arroz. It tasted like rice and almonds and was blended with ice.
In only moments the front door opened. Sarah glided through the room and straight towards me. I opened my arms as she pressed her small body against mine. Breaking the embrace she looked up into my eyes and, once again, I was captured by her smile.
"Oh Steven I'm so glad to see you again."
Her lovely voice set my heart racing. This woman had an amazing effect on me. It wasn't so much sexual as enchanting. I knew that she could ask me most anything and I would be helpless to refuse her. Indeed Miguel had spoken the truth; she had worked her magic on me.
Sarah is one of those individuals that are truly intuitive. She doesn't pretend to be physic or a visionary. She is sensitive to people and through keen observation can read moods. She is not a witch nor is she in communion with spirits, good or bad. She is a lovely young woman with a big heart and a sensitive nature.
"Miguel, ven aqui," she called excitedly.
Coming through the door, carrying two grocery bags, was Miguel. He stood much taller than his sister and appeared to be in good shape. His hair is black and his skin a deep bronze color. Right away I noticed that he had the same smile as his sister. Setting the groceries down in the kitchen he walked toward me, arms outstretched in greeting.
"Hello Steven, so nice to meet you. Please have a seat and be comfortable. Let me help Eduardo put the groceries away and then we will become acquainted."
Sarah led me to the couch and sat beside me.
"Okay mi amigo, tell me about Mark," she said as her eyes danced.
I didn't know quite what to say. I was beginning to learn that Sarah said exactly what was on her mind. She did so in a way that was endearing and not at all threatening.
"I don't know if now is the time to go into detail. Let me just say that he will be moving in with me soon."
"What about his wife? "Is she moving in too?"
"No, of course not. It's a long story Sarah."
"Good, start at the beginning."
Miguel called to me from the kitchen.
"You'd better do as she asks or she will hound you to death. Trust me."
"Este tranquilo, Miguel," she laughingly snapped at him.
"He's right, I will hound you," she said to me. "Talk to me Steven and don't worry about what Miguel will think. He's Gay too."
"For crying out loud Sarah, is there anything you won't say?"
Miguel chided his sister as he entered the living room.
"Steven, I'm sorry, what can I say? Yes, I'm Gay and let me tell you before she does, I'm currently alone. I think she was hoping to set us up."
Turning to look at his sister he said, "Okay, are you happy? It's all out in the open."
"Bueno. Now we can talk."
Miguel smiled at me as he raised both hands in the air in an expression of exasperation.
I noticed that Eduardo had left the room. I didn't know if he was just being polite or if they had asked him for privacy. I suspected he was being polite.
"I hope Eduardo didn't leave on my account," I said.
"No, he told us that he would give us time to talk. His sister lives nearby and he went to visit her. He will bring her back later to meet you. She will join us for dinner."
"Am I staying for dinner?" I asked.
"Of course you are," Sarah was quick to reply.
"We're Mexicans and we love to party and to eat. We may even make you fat, amigo. Now tell me about your boyfriend."
I had little choice but to tell them about Mark. Sarah was surprisingly quiet as I related the story. Miguel seemed thoughtful although he was quick to smile when I told them that Mark had asked me to marry him.
"Steven, you've given me much hope," Miguel said as I completed my story.
"Maybe I too will have a boyfriend. I was beginning to think that my karma was bad and I was destined to live my life with a nagging sister."
"I've been worried about the same thing Miguel; you need a man," Sarah lovingly scolded him.
"Do you think that Mark will like us?" Sarah asked.
"Yes, he will like you both very much. I'm anxious for you to meet."
It was easy to see the family resemblance between brother and sister. Both have breathtaking smiles, which are set off by their bronze complexions and jet-black hair. More than attractive, there is a classic beauty about them. There is however a difference in their eyes. Where Sarah's are playful and filled with warmth, Miguel's are wise and kind. I couldn't imagine why they weren't involved in relationships. Without bidding, a thought fleeted through my mind. Wouldn't it be nice if Dan or Gary were to fall in love with one of the Ortiz siblings?
Shaking the thought from my mind, I asked them to tell me about their problem. Conversation and laughter came so easily; I'd almost forgotten why I was there.
Miguel spoke first.
"To appreciate our problem, you first have to understand our father. His religious beliefs dominated our lives. As a Pentecostal missionary family we were expected to live exemplary Christian lives. Virtuous and beyond reproach. As children we were to be seen, but not heard. When we became teenagers we had no social life. We were not allowed to have friends outside of the church and were expected to be present whenever the church doors were open. Wednesday evening there was Bible study. Sunday morning we attended Sunday school and the worship service. Monday, after school, was missionary club and Thursday evening was discipleship training. We literally grew up in the church. Even our school studies took second place to the church."
Sarah continued. "At church we we're taught to love one another yet there was no love at home. My father never kissed or even hugged us. There was never kindness, only discipline and anger whenever we failed to live up to his expectations."
Tears welled in Sarah's eyes as she spoke.
"When I was sixteen years old I had a dream. In my dream I was flying. I can remember the exhilaration as I soared over our village. Suddenly I found myself crashing to the ground as thick smoke billowed around me. I was terribly frightened. Walking through the haze I met the pastor of our congregation as he was fleeing from the church. He was yelling, 'Babylon the Great has fallen - the Kingdom of God is at hand'. Looking toward our church I saw flames pouring out of the windows. All of the beautiful stained glass windows had shattered and I heard terrible wailing coming from within.
I awakened from my nightmare screaming. Miguel came into my room and found me sitting upright in my bed shaking from head to toe. He sat next to me and comforted me. Moments later our mother and father came into my room and saw Miguel sitting on my bed with his arms around me. Without even asking why I had screamed and was so obviously terrified, father pulled Miguel off of my bed and beat him. While yelling at Miguel for defiling the innocence of his sister, he repeatedly struck him across the face. Our mother said nothing.
Two weeks later the church burned to the ground. Upon learning of the fire, my father beat me. He said that my dream had come from the fires of hell and it was the first time I was ever called a Bruja. The fire marshal blamed the fire on faulty wiring, but our father believed it was Satan who had somehow worked his evil through me."
I was shocked as they continued telling me about their tragic home life. As their father grew older his obsessive religious behavior became a serious illness. He would become violent if his authority was ever questioned and he saw demons everywhere. Even the church council had become concerned. The community no longer took Pedro Ortiz seriously. His frequent outbursts at town meetings and maniacal ranting about the 'end times' caused even long time friends to abandon him. The more he was ostracized, the angrier he became.
"What did your mother do?" I asked.
"Very little," Miguel said.
"You have to understand that she comes from a patriarchal society where a man's word is law. Biblical teaching concerning a woman's position in God's chain of command compounds the problem. St. Paul didn't do women any favors by mandating subservience to men. She is also handicapped by language. Spanish is spoken at home and she never learned to speak English. With her limited exposure to society, she lives in her own, mostly silent world."
"It's no wonder that you were anxious to leave home," I said.
"It gets worse. After the violence surrounding Sarah's dream, I made up my mind that one way or another, I would get Sarah out. I started doing odd maintenance jobs at the church and for church members. I didn't make much money but what I did earn, I saved. I didn't tell my parents about it either. As long as we did everything our father expected we were mostly left alone. When I turned 20 I got a job as a gardener for a large country club just outside of Santa Fe. When I told my father about the job he forbade me from accepting it. I didn't care. I took the job and moved out of the house that night. I moved in with one of the other men who worked at the club. I was thrilled to be free of the tyranny at home yet I worried day and night about Sarah. We worked out an arrangement where she could get word to me if she was ever in any danger."
Sarah continued the story. "All of our neighbors were supportive of Miguel and myself. They understood that our father was emotionally sick and they watched over me. The Castaneda's, who lived next door, told me to come to them if I suspected father would become violent. They would contact Miguel, and the police if need be. I really loved Mr. and Mrs. Castaneda. They treated me kindly and I felt safe with them.
Gilberto Castaneda is their oldest son. He dropped out of high school and left home when he was sixteen years old. If his parents knew where he lived, they never told anybody. Three years later Gilberto returned home. He claimed that he had gotten mixed up with some bad people and had begun using drugs. He maintained that he spent time in the Albuquerque jail. While in jail he met a man that led him to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior and he had committed his life to serving the Lord. His mom and dad were so happy and everybody was calling him the prodigal son.
The pastor of our church asked Gilberto to share his testimony at the Sunday morning worship service. Everybody attended the service and Gilberto gave a stirring testimony."
Every time Sarah mentioned Gilberto's name, Miguel became agitated.
"Yeah, he knew exactly what to say to win the confidence of the congregation. He confessed to every sin in the book and wept as he described his decadent life style. When he spoke of his repentance and deliverance from sin, the entire congregation was on their feet and praising God. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except for mine." Miguel was visibly shaking as he spoke.
"Miguel didn't trust Gilberto and I wish now that I'd heeded his advice. My intuition told me that Miguel was right, but I ignored both my insight and Miguel's counsel."
"Gilberto was very handsome and every girl in town wanted to get to know him better. His looks and charm smote Sarah, who had never been allowed to date. And surprisingly enough, our father liked him. Father announced publicly that I had brought disgrace to our family while Gilberto had bestowed honor and blessing upon the Castanedas. To make matters worse, it was at that time my father learned that I was Gay.
I had fallen in love with a young man I met at the country club. Members of the club, his family would often meet for Sunday brunch. His name is Randall and he's quite a hunk. After several weeks of exchanging glances, he asked me out. We dated for about a month and then I moved in with him. He had a small apartment only a few blocks from the club.
One Sunday morning, shortly after moving in with Randall, he asked me to accompany him to his parent's church. He thought it would be nice for me to meet his folks. They knew their son was Gay and had accepted it without problem. I met Randall's parents and they liked me. After the service they introduced me to their friends as Randall's boyfriend. Well, as fate would have it, the Castaneda's were visiting the church that very morning and they discovered that little Miguelito was queer. Word spread like a wildfire and within days I was no longer welcome in my own church. My father and mother publicly disowned me."
"In the meantime Gilberto asked me to go out on a date, " Sarah interjected.
"He'd gone to my father and asked permission to take me to the annual church picnic. Of course father enthusiastically agreed. I was excited to go to the picnic as Gilberto's date. I knew I would be the envy of all the other girls and my pride got in the way of common sense. The picnic was fun and Gilberto asked me if I would continue dating him. I was flattered and we started going steady. Of course Miguel was furious with me, and when father learned that Miguel was opposed to my dating Gilberto, he became vocally supportive of our relationship. He even encouraged Gilberto to ask me to marry him.
After Sunday morning worship, Gilberto asked me to go with him to Santa Fe to meet some of his friends. I really didn't want to go but couldn't refuse him. He told father that we would be back before supper.
We arrived at a dreary little house on the outskirts of town and there I met Gilberto's friends. They were a repulsive, scruffy group of men that made my skin crawl. The room reeked of marijuana and I saw a needle and syringe sitting on the coffee table. I was very frightened and I asked Gilberto to take me home.
Steven, I'll never forget his face. I now know what evil looks like. He glared at me and told me to forget about ever seeing my home again. I now belonged to him and his friends. My sole function in life was to pleasure and amuse his buddies and himself. How he laughed as he saw my terror. He pushed me onto the bed and he raped me as his friends watched and cheered."
As Sarah tearfully told the story I saw Miguel's jaw clench in anger. His countenance darkened and he stood up and began pacing the room.
"If I could, I'd kill Gilberto with my own hands," he spoke to nobody in particular.
"Por favor Miguel, no esta, tan enojado."
Sarah's voice was filled with emotion. I could tell that Miguel's anger worried her.
" Sarah, let Miguel be angry," I spoke up.
"He needs to deal with his feelings honestly. As a man I understand how he feels. He loves you dearly and he is hurting deeply. Let him work through this. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. How can I help you?"
I felt helpless to do anything. It was hard for me to imagine such cruelty.
At that moment both Sarah and Miguel burst into tears. I realized that this was probably the first time they had vocalized their terror to an outsider. Confiding in me must have served as a catalyst. They hugged each other for a long time before remembering that I was there.
Miguel walked over to me and threw his arms around me as he continued to cry.
"Thank you for being with us Steven. We've been so afraid and have not known what to do."
"Miguel, you will get through this. You and Sarah will again be happy. When you are ready, please tell me what happened next. Talking about a problem is the first step toward resolution."
In a few minutes Sarah continued.
"After Gilberto had finished with me, he and his friends moved into the kitchen. They stupidly left me lying on the bed thinking that I would stay there. I could hear them talking about Miguel. They were making plans to kill him because of his homosexuality. Machismo is so important to Mexicans. Homosexuality is seen as an insult to the entire macho culture. They were planning on luring Miguel to the house and killing him. After dark they would take his body to the church and leave him lying on the altar with a note that said, 'God's vengeance against homosexuals'. They were going to use me as the bait to lure Miguel to the house.
Without waiting to hear anymore I silently climbed out the window and ran to the nearest home. The woman who came to the door must have seen my fear. She was very nice to me and allowed me to use her phone. I called the police and then Miguel. The police arrived only minutes before Miguel. I gave them a full account of what had happened to me and told them of the threat against Miguel. But, by the time they arrived at the house, Gilberto and his mob had fled."
Miguel continued with the story.
"We didn't waste any time. We both knew that Gilberto would be looking for us. We went to the police department and filed a report. From there we drove to my apartment to pack what we could and flee New Mexico. Randall wasn't home and I hated leaving him without an explanation so I left him a note."
Dear Randall,
I don't have much time to explain. Something terrible has happened. Gilberto, the low life that Sarah has been dating, raped her. He has also threatened my life because I'm Gay. We've filed a police report and I think you need to get to the police as soon as you can. Gilberto and his friends know that you are my lover and I'm very worried about you. Get your parents involved; their influence in town will help protect you.
I will call you as soon as I can. We have a cousin in Los Angeles - which is where we are heading.
I'm so sorry. I love you.
Miguel
"We must have missed Randall by only minutes. When he got home he read my note and immediately went to the police. The police advised him to move into his parent's home until they could make an arrest.
Gilberto made his move. While Randall was at the police station he and his thugs paid a visit to the apartment. Randall arrived home and found it ransacked. There was a note on the door that said, 'death to all fags'. Randall panicked when he discovered that the note I wrote to him was missing. He returned to the police station and reported what had happened. Fearing for my cousin's safety the police called my parents and advised them to warn her of the potential danger.
We drove, stopping only for gas, into Los Angeles. With some difficulty we found Thylia's home. Evidently mother had called and she was expecting us. She was very kind and assured us that we were welcome to stay with her and her husband as long as we needed to. She even suggested that I try and call Randall to let him know that we had arrived safely. I tried unsuccessfully to reach him at the apartment then decided to try his parent's house. Of course he was there and he explained what had happened after we'd left. We've stayed in touch and we're still very much in love. I just don't know how we can ever be together. I don't want to put him, or anybody else, in danger."
Sarah continued with the story.
"We've been in Los Angeles for eight months. We stayed with Thylia and Robert for about one month. Miguel found an excellent job at the Bel Aire Country Club. He is a greens keeper and makes more money than he did in Santa Fe. I'm working as a receptionist for a computer support company. We live in Los Angeles and are renting a very small two-bedroom house. Until the incident last week, I thought we were safe. Now I'm wondering if we'll ever see our little home again. I'm afraid to go back. Eduardo, who works with Miguel, has been so wonderful to us. He says we're welcome to stay here until we feel it's safe to go home. I just don't know what to do Steven. That is why I called you"
I felt badly for them. They were both so frightened, who wouldn't be?
"I'm very glad that you called me Sarah. I want to help you and Miguel. When your house was ransacked, did they steal anything?"
"Yes, they took our computer and all of the electronic equipment," Miguel answered.
"Sarah told me they left a note on the door. What did it say?"
'I still have it," Miguel said. "Let me show it to you."
A moment later he returned with a piece of paper that had been ripped off of a legal sized note pad. Scrawled in large letters were the words, 'Usted nunca se escapara. Muerte a todos los fags'.
Miguel translated for me; "You will never escape. Death to all fags."
"It's obviously from Gilberto and company," I sighed. I suddenly had a very bad feeling.
"Sarah, when you called me in Washington, did you have my business card with you?"
"Yes, you wrote Mark's number on the back of the card and I kept it in my purse. Why?"
"Did you write my phone number, or Mark's number anyplace else?"
She thought for a moment. Suddenly all the color drained from her face.
"Oh Steven, I entered your phone number and address into my computer address book."
"Is your computer secured with a password?" I asked hopefully.
"No," she said sadly.
Well it's safe to assume that they know about me. Did you put Mark's number in the address book?"
"No I didn't." She began to cry.
"That's good. At least we won't have to worry about Mark. Please don't cry Sarah, it wasn't your fault. How could you possibly know? Don't worry please, I have a plan. Can I use Eduardo's phone?"
"Yes," Miguel said as he walked into the kitchen to get it.
I called home and Dan picked it up right away.
"Hi Dan. I need to ask you some questions. I'll explain everything when I see you. Over the last week, do you recall seeing any customers that acted odd or asked personal questions about me?"
"No, I don't think so."
"It's very important that you don't give information to anybody about me. I'm with some friends; their names are Sarah and Miguel and they are in trouble.
Has anybody asked questions about them?"
"No, I don't remember anything out the ordinary happening. I'll check with Karen when she gets here tomorrow. Steven, are you alright?"
"For the moment. There are some very dangerous people looking for my friends and they know where I live. Please Dan, if anything at all suspicious happens, call the police immediately. I'm going to call the police right now and get some advice."
"Be careful, please. I love you."
"I love you too. Goodbye"
"Nothing suspicious at the nursery. That at least is good news. On my flight to Spokane I met an L.A.P.D. detective. We became friends and I want to call him. Sarah, do you remember telling me that our meeting was not an accident?"
"Yes, I do."
"You were right. My meeting Detective Brad Sloane was not an accident either. All of the pieces of this puzzle are starting to come together. Our auto collision is turning out to be a blessing in disguise. I'm beginning to understand the meaning of the Bible verse; 'all things work together for good for those who love the Lord'."
Sarah and Miguel smiled at me and I noticed that they were holding hands. I returned their smile as a sense of peace washed over me.
Fortunately I had put Brad's card in my wallet. I dialed his number and he answered after only one ring.
"Hello Brad, this is Steven Houston, we met on the plane."
"Hi Steven, I've been thinking about you. How was your trip?"
"Wonderful, how was your conference?"
"Disappointing. Some of the speakers didn't show up. It wasn't well organized."
"Sorry to hear it. I'm looking forward to seeing you and installing your sprinkler system. Call me whenever you're ready. But that's not why I'm calling today. I really need your help."
"Sure, what's up?"
I explained everything to Brad. He listened very patiently and never said a word until I was finished.
"You and your friends are in real danger. I'm going to get involved right away. Please give me the address where Sarah and Miguel are staying and a phone number. I already have your information. I want to talk with the police in Santa Fe. Where will you be this evening?"
"They've asked me to stay for dinner, then I'll go home."
"Okay. Do you live alone?"
"Yes, but my full time employee is there much of the time"
"What's his name?'
"Dan Neilson"
"Do you think Dan would mind spending the night with you? I don't want you to be alone."
"He won't mind," I quickly replied.
"Be sure he understands the possible danger. Give him my home phone number and encourage him to call me if he suspects a problem. Be very careful Steven. You're my newest friend and I don't want to lose you already. Okay?"
"Okay Brad. Thank you."
"I'll call you later tonight or first thing in the morning. Be careful."
I explained what Brad had said to me. Both Sarah and Miguel were noticeably relieved knowing that the police were now involved. Within a few minutes Eduardo returned home with his sister, Lupe. We decided not to say anything about our conversation. There was no reason to alarm Lupe, besides, I could tell they were looking forward to a festive evening.
The food was incredible. They served homemade tamales; far superior to any tamale I had eaten in a restaurant. Sarah's specialty is a delicious chicken dish called Pollo en Mole. I have never tasted anything quite like it. The sauce, they told me, was made from hot chilies, peanuts, and chocolate. Eduardo made corn tortillas and several kinds of salsa. Miguel blended margaritas. We finished our meal with homemade pastries and music. Miguel is a very good guitar player and he taught me to sing Mexican folk songs. I had so much fun. I left around 8:30 after a thoroughly enjoyable evening.
To be continued.
Thank you for your generous support. I've received many messages of encouragement and I'm sincerely thankful for each one. I feel as if I've made new friends, all over the world.
Several people have indicated that they are having difficulty sending me e-mail. One of my new and astute friends has discerned the problem. Evidently there is some confusion as to what my address actually is:
rustynail920
The lower case letter l (ell) and the number 1 (one) look very much alike. My address is rustynail - like the cocktail, or what you fear stepping on if you've not had a recent tetanus shot. Does this clarify anything at all? Hopefully.
I'll try to answer every message as quickly as possible. Please e-mail me at: rustynail920@yahoo.com
Mark