In the Direction of Happiness

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence. Do no read this story if man-to-man romance or sex offends you. Do not read if you are underage according to laws in the country, state/province, county, city/town/village or township where you live.

This is a love story. I've attempted to create a tale where the characters are involved in living life to its fullest. Although sex is part of this story, so are romance, pain and self-realization.

Ever since I was a little boy I've loved the Spanish language and the traditional Mexican culture. I suppose that's why I've chosen to incorporate the language into my story. I ask both your forgiveness and your indulgence for any atrocities that I may have committed in the writing of this lovely language. The effort has forced me to call all the way back to the two years of Spanish I studied in high school, which in my case, was more than a few years ago.

I hope you enjoy the tale.

I like to receive e-mail and will attempt to answer all messages. Mail to: rustynail920@yahoo.com

IN THE DIRECTION OF HAPPINESS - PART 6

Chapter 17 - Dan and Gary

Dan was waiting for me when I arrived home. One look at his face and I could tell he had been worrying about me.

"Dan, I'm sorry. You've been worried haven't you?"

"Well of course I have. It's not like I care about you or anything. What in hell is going on?"

I told him. He agreed to move in with me until the "fuckers" were captured or Mark was here, whichever came first. He informed me that he was going to go home in the morning to pick up some things he would need, including his gun. That alarmed me greatly. I've never liked guns and frankly I was afraid to have one around me. Dan assured me that he knew how to use it and would only do so if he were left with no other option. After considerable debate, I agreed.

I could tell that something else was on his mind.

"Is there something you want to talk about, I sense that you have something on your mind?"

"Well, yes," he said sheepishly.

"What is it?"

Instead of answering he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some iced tea.

"Can I get you anything?" he called.

"Yes, I want you to talk with me," I called back to him.

He walked back in and sat on the couch. He snuggled next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"I want you to be totally honest with me about something," he said.

"Alright, I'm always totally honest with you. What is it?"

"I think Gary is really handsome. He is so masculine looking, like you and Mark.

"He is a hunk," I replied.

"I'm still in love with you Steve, but."

"But?"

"Well, I have a crush on Gary. Now that I know he's Gay, I'd like to ask him out. Do you think he would be interested in me?"

"I do know that Gary likes you very much. He's told me so. But Gary doesn't date much."

"Why is that?"

"Gary had a lover for several years. When the relationship failed, he put up walls. He once told me that he wouldn't risk the heartbreak of a failed relationship again. I don't think he has been with a man the entire time that I've known him.

I just can't figure him out. With his gorgeous looks and wonderful personality he could get any man he wanted. I don't think he realizes what he has going for himself. If he'd get over his fear of being hurt, he'd make an excellent partner. He's loyal, considerate and very passionate. Frankly, I'd love to see the two of you together."

"Why did he and his partner breakup?"

"I really don't know, he's never told me.

"I thought he told you everything."

"He normally does. I do know that the guy is fifteen years younger. Gary told me that he loves motorcycles and has an active social life. Gary is more like you and I. I suspect their personality differences had much to do with the breakup."

"What do you think I should do?"

"I'm having lunch with Gary tomorrow. Would you be embarrassed if I told him of your interest? He will be honest with me."

"Yeah, I'd really appreciate it man. Thanks."

"Not a problem."

"Any possibility of me talking you into some sex right now?"

"Not real likely buddy."

"Then I'm going to bed with father palm and his five sons. I love you Steve, goodnight." He gave me a light kiss on my lips and walked into the guestroom.

"I love you too. Good night Dan," I called after him.

I awakened early and confused. I had evidently slept deeply, and momentarily couldn't remember what day of the week it was or what I needed to do. As the events of the day before came rushing back to me, I felt a vague sense of foreboding. Since Brad had not called, I knew he would be in touch this morning.

I had plans to meet Gary for lunch and was looking forward to it. Because of our schedules I hadn't had the opportunity to see him for the last two months. I also needed to call Mark. Of course I was excited to talk with him but was apprehensive about telling him what transpired with Sarah and Miguel. I knew he would start worrying. I should have called him last night but was hoping I'd have more information from Brad.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and began daydreaming about Mark. I had only been home for two days and I already missed him terribly. I missed sleeping with him. I longed to put my arms around his strong body and kiss his beautiful lips.

I guess we all have our own unique scent. Sitting in my kitchen with the windows open and a slight breeze blowing the curtains, I caught the scent of the moist, dew-kissed earth outside. Mixed with the fragrance of the Blue Gum Eucalyptus, it reminded me of Mark. Clean and exciting. I missed his laughter and mischievous grin.

Lost in thought, I jumped when the phone rang at precisely 9:00 a.m. I checked caller I.D. and recognized Brad's phone number.

"Hello Brad, this is Steven."

"Good morning Steven, you must have caller I.D.," he chuckled.

"I do. Some calls I'd rather let the answering machine pick up."

"Well thanks for picking up mine. I have news and it isn't good. I checked with the Santa Fe police and learned quite a bit about Gilberto Cantaneda and his friends. Evidently they have a list of arrest warrants as long as my arm. In their wake they have left a trail of misery including rape, kidnapping, armed robbery and illegal drug trafficking. Their crimes have been senseless and vicious. One of their victims was gang raped and left for dead. Fortunately she survived, but will bear the physical and emotional scars for the rest of her life. I'm worried about you Steven. These men will stop at nothing."

"Not exactly the news I was hoping for Brad. Where do we go from here?"

"Because their threats have been aimed at homosexuals, I can remain involved. Among other things, this is being considered a hate crime. In addition to their crimes in New Mexico they are alleged to have held up a liquor store in Kingman, Arizona and the vandalism of the Ortiz home in Los Angeles. Their crime spree has crossed state lines and the FBI may become involved. We'll have to see about that. Sarah and Miguel allowed us to put them in protective custody last night. For their safety, and yours, I can't tell you where they're located, but you can communicate through me."

"Brad, this is terrible. Are they okay? They must be so frightened."

"They are. Miguel is concerned about losing his job but I've assured him that the L.A.P.D. will intervene on his behalf if necessary. They both send you their love and gratitude. They are worried about you Steven, and so am I. We are going to increase the frequency of street patrols around your home but there is only so much the police can do to protect you. Is it possible for you to get out of town for awhile?"

"Not really. Besides, I'd be leaving my employees in danger. I'd be worried sick about them."

"You're right. I want to meet Dan and any other employees you have. Can you get everybody together so I can meet them? Today, if possible."

"I have an early lunch date but will be home around 2:00 this afternoon. When I get back Dan will leave to make deliveries but should be back around 4:00."

"That's fine. Can I come by about 4:00?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much. I only have one other employee and I'll ask her to join us. Her name is Karen Vernon."

"Good. Does Karen ever work alone?"

"Yes, but not often."

"For the time being that isn't a good idea. Can you adjust schedules so somebody is with her at all times?"

"Sure. I spoke with Dan last night and he has agreed to move in with me until this blows over. He also wants to bring his gun. I'm nervous about that. He says he knows how to use it and would only do so if left with no other options. He's a levelheaded man. What do you think?"

"Let him. I'm not supposed to say that, but I'll feel better knowing he has it."

"How can I ever thank you?"

"Just help me install my sprinkler system and keep yourself safe.

"It's a deal. Thank you Brad. I'll see you at 4:00."

As hard as I tried to not become nervous, it wasn't working. Before leaving to see Gary I took Dan aside.

"Do you think I should close the nursery until this blows over?"

"No. We just have to be extra careful. I doubt they will try anything during the day and I'll be with you at night. As long as Karen is not left alone we should be fine. Have you ever fired a gun?"

"Yes. As a kid my father would take me to San Francisquito Canyon and we'd shoot at bottles. He had a .22 caliber rifle and revolver. It was fun, but of course the bottles didn't shoot back."

"Would you know how to use my gun if you needed to?"

"I hope so. When Brad is here this afternoon perhaps the two of you can give me some pointers."

"That's a good idea."

"I'm worried about leaving you here. Would you like me to cancel with Gary?"

"Absolutely not. I'll be fine; besides, I'm expecting you to get some important information for me. Do you remember? There was a sly grin on his face."

"Remember what?"

He was about to remind me of our conversation when he saw the glint in my eyes.

"Asshole."

"Be careful Dan. Call Brad if you suspect anything at all."

I hugged and kissed him goodbye then headed for Pasadena.

Gary lives in a modest neighborhood, by Pasadena standards, with lovely-established landscaping and obvious pride of ownership. The street is narrow and winds gracefully up a steep hill that always gives me the impression of San Francisco. A majestic Brazilian pepper tree shades the front of his house and flowering shrubs are tastefully scattered throughout his numerous flowerbeds. Gary has three cats and two dogs. The backyard is completely fenced and the dogs have free run. As I approached the concrete walkway I noticed all three cats sitting in windowsills patiently watching the day unfold. The dogs proudly announced my arrival and Gary stepped out onto the front porch.

Seeing his smiling, handsome face, I realized how much I had missed him. He was wearing a pair of Levi's with no shirt or shoes. For late November the weather had been unseasonably warm so I wasn't surprised. When I met Gary he was forty years old. Today, eleven years later, he still looks the same. He's kept himself in great shape and paid attention to his appearance. I marveled at his near washboard stomach and muscular chest. To my knowledge he didn't belong to a gym and I had no idea how he stayed so fit.

We embraced and held each other for a few moments. He looked relaxed and happy.

"Gary, it's so good to finally get back together. I've missed you."

Patting his flat stomach I asked him how he stayed in such good shape.

"I don't know, I've never had a weight problem. It's good to see you too. Lunch is ready when you are. Let's take advantage of this weather and eat outside. We have so much to talk about."

Eating outside at Gary's means eating in the driveway. It's actually quite nice. Because his backyard belongs to the dogs, he has a picnic table and umbrella set up at the back of his driveway. Shaded by huge pine trees, which are usually filled with songbirds, you get the feeling that you are eating in a park. His barbecue sits near the table and I noticed that the coals were already red hot.

"What can I do to help Gary"

"Why don't you fix us something to drink. Help yourself to whatever you'd like. I'll have club soda with a twist. I'll be right down with our lunch."

From the driveway you can enter the lower level of his house. On the right is a door that opens to a guestroom. On the left is a wet bar and another door that opens to a den. Just beyond the bar is a stairway that takes you to the main part of his home.

I stopped at the bar and fixed our drinks. I noticed a pitcher of lemonade and poured myself a glass. Gary came down the stairs carrying a large dish that contained marinated skewers of chicken, peppers, onions and mushrooms. He had also prepared German potato and fruit salads. As Gary placed the meat skewers on the grill I put my arm over his shoulders.

"How are you doing Gary? We don't get together near enough."

"I'm doing well. Other than missing your company, everything has been fine. I just heard from my publisher this morning. My latest manuscript is slated for publication in the spring."

"Great news. Isn't this your fourth book to be published?"

Gary writes intelligent mysteries. Filled with intrigue and suspense, they are also lessons in history. Gary is a history buff and his stories reflect this interest. His second book was set in Germany at the beginning of the Lutheran Reformation. His fictional tale of treason and murder is masterfully woven together with amazing historical accuracy. I learned more about the nailing of the 96 thesis to the Wittenburg Church door and the creation of the Augsburg Confession than I did in my three years of Lutheran catechism.

"Actually it's my fifth book to be published. The first was released by a different publishing house and is now out of print. It never sold well. I have to admit that it was poorly written and I'm not proud of it. My publisher is very excited about the latest. They've asked if I will be willing to go on an extended promotional tour when it's released."

"You'll do it, won't you?"

"Certainly, I'd be foolish not to. I'm concerned about leaving my animals though."

"Don't be concerned, we can help you out," I said while smiling.

Gary was quick to pickup on my smile and my use of the word, we.

"We?" he asked.

"I have so much to tell you,"

I proceeded to tell him everything that happened with Mark. I was surprised to hear myself sounding giddy as I spoke.

"I've known all along that you and Mark were meant to be together. If ever there was a relationship 'made in heaven', this is it. I'm especially pleased that Mark wants a wedding. Was having sex with a man everything you hoped it would be?"

"Yes, and so much more."

"I thought you'd feel that way. Mark is certainly hot, that doesn't hurt any, does it?"

"He is so handsome. He takes my breath away. Mark and I are hoping that you will officiate at our wedding ceremony and lead us in our vows. Will you do that for us?"

"Of course I will. I'm really honored...what can I say?"

I then proceeded to tell him about Sarah, Miguel and the potentially dangerous situation. He was upset with me for getting involved, but felt that I did the right thing.

"There's something else I want to talk with you about. I don't want you to think that I'm meddling in your personal affairs - even though I am."

"Hey, I haven't had an affair, personal or otherwise, for a long time now." He was smiling as he spoke.

"Well I hope to change all of that for ya."

"How so?"

"Do you date? I know you were hurt when you're relationship with Greg ended. Are you at all interested in getting involved again?"

He was thoughtful.

"I don't know Steven. I've gone out with two different men since my breakup with Greg. Both relationships were short-lived and both involved sex. Good sex at that, but sex was the only reason I went out with them. To put it bluntly, I needed to get my rocks off. When I realized that each of them wanted more than I was willing to give, I broke it off.

But I'm lonely. At first I was hoping something would develop between us, but when I realized how deeply you and Mark love each other, I let that go. I'm sure you noticed.

It would be nice to fall asleep in the arms of a man that I love. I'd like to share that special closeness that only happens when love and sex meld together. But I'm so frightened of getting hurt again. I just don't know what I want. Why do you ask?"

"Because I know a special man that would like to ask you out. I told him that I'd ask you about it."

Gary looked confused. "Do I know this person?" he asked.

"Yes you do. It's Dan."

"Dan Neilson?"

"The one and only. He's had a crush on you for some time now. Dan's a great guy and I've come to care for him very much. Not only does he run the nursery, but also he takes care of me personally. I'd be lost without him."

"Takes care of you personally, a ha!" Gary said with feigned disapproval.

"Yeah, he sucks my cock every morning and fucks the hell out of me every night." I fired back at him playfully. "He looks out for me and is a true friend. Much like you, asshole."

"I know, I was just pulling your chain. I can tell he is good friend."

I decided not to tell Gary just how close Dan and I had become. I didn't want him to worry that Dan was competing with him for my friendship. Until recent years I had very few friends. Many acquaintances, but few that I would consider friends. Sitting and talking with Gary I realized how much my life had changed. I now had several friends, each unique and very important to me.

"I always thought of Dan as being straight. My 'gaydar' must not be working. I'm really surprised," Gary said.

"No, he's bisexual. He's only had one relationship with a man, and that was just after high school. He's only been with a few women. He's not looking for a long line of sex partners. He wants to have a serious, longtime relationship with a man."

"I'm flattered that he would consider me. He's your age isn't he?"

"He's two years younger than me."

"He doesn't mind the age difference?"

"Evidently not."

"He's so cute. Gosh, I'd love to go out with Dan."

"He is going to be so stoked. I hope it works, for both of you."

Finishing lunch, I was reluctant to leave Gary, but knew I needed to get back home. I wanted Dan to have ample time to make his deliveries and be back by the time Brad arrived at 4:00 p.m. We said goodbye and promised to get together soon.

When I arrived back at the nursery Dan had already loaded the delivery truck and was ready to go. I asked him if there had been any problems.

"None at all. Actually it's been very quiet. Brad called just to make sure I was okay. He's an unusual cop."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Since the Rodney King beating there has been one L.A.P.D. scandal after another. The blundering of the O.J. Simpson case and the racist, sexist attitude of Detective Mark Fuhrman undermined the confidence of the entire city. Now it's the Rampart Division scandal. Our police department no longer enjoys the respect of the people they have sworn to protect. Detective Sloane is a breath of fresh air."

"Yes he is. I suspect that there are many more just like him. Brad explained to me how the L.A.P.D. is working to bring about reform and hopefully improve their relationship within the community. The hate crimes division is one example of what they are trying to do."

"To tell you the truth, I feel much better knowing that Brad is handling this. I'm anxious to meet him today. Does he mind being addressed by his first name? Isn't that a bit disrespectful?"

"When we met on the plane he asked me to call him Brad. He prefers his friends to call him by his name."

"I've got good news for you my friend," I said, changing the subject

Dan's face momentarily tensed as he waited for me to continue.

"I can't begin to understand why, but Gary wants to go out with you."

"Really?" Dan was ecstatic. "What did he say?"

"Well, the first thing he wanted to know is the length and girth of your cock." I said very seriously.

"WHAT ? Steve you're kidding, right?"

"Of course. He was flattered at your interest and is really looking forward to going out with you. He had no idea that you are bisexual so your interest came as a surprise to him. Why don't you give him a call tonight?"

"Wow. I'll do just that. You've made my day. Thanks bud. I better get moving if I'm going to be back by 4:00. Be careful Steven. See you later."

He kissed my cheek and drove off.

Chapter 18 - The Storm Arrives

The room looked foggy. As hard as I tried, I couldn't figure out the time of day or where I was. Nothing was familiar and I became frightened. I tried sitting upright and was gripped by intense pain in my head and sides. The pain was so severe I cried out. Within moments somebody was at my side holding my hand. As my eyes slowly focused I realized that it was Dan. The pain, especially on my right side, was awful. When I tried to speak I was greeted by a terrible burning in my lungs.

"Easy does it Steve. Just rest, I'll call the nurse."

Dan pushed a button on a control panel by the side of my bed. With that simple act I realized that I was in a hospital room. Slowly the terrifying realization of why I was there came back to me. I felt worse than I ever imagined I could feel. I was becoming nauseous and feared I would throw up. Within moments a nurse was standing at my side and I noticed an IV tube running from my arm to a bottle hanging beside me. The nurse, using a syringe, added something into the solution that slowly entered my body via the long plastic tube. I wanted to talk but the pain in my lungs made it difficult.

"Just relax Mr. Houston. The pain will subside in just a few minutes."

As promised, the intensity of my discomfort waned somewhat. Looking into Dan's eyes I could tell that he had been crying. I managed to squeeze his hand a little tighter and weakly smiled at him. I closed my eyes and thought about the events that led me to this room.

Dan had driven off in the delivery truck and I decided to move the recent shipment of live Christmas trees to the front of the nursery. A new model F-Series Ford Truck drove up and parked close to the nursery entry. Three Hispanic men got out and I knew immediately that it was Gilberto and some of his friends. They walked into the nursery and feigned interest in the racks of bedding plants near the entrance. I didn't know what to do.

"Hold on, I'll be with you in a second," I called out.

Walking into the store I picked up the phone and dialed Brad's home number. His wife answered. I quickly identified myself and told her I needed immediate help. The words no sooner left my mouth than they walked in the door.

"Hi, how can I help you?" I said as cheerfully as possible.

Without answering they closed the door behind them. One stood at the closed door while the other two pulled out knives and walked up to me.

"Are you Steven Houston?" the taller man asked me.

"Yes, I am. What's going on here?"

"How do you know Sarah Ortiz? He asked.

I noticed that his Mexican accent was quite pronounced. He glared at me as he waited for my response. I didn't want to reveal accurate information, yet I knew I couldn't pretend not to know her. Having found my name and address in her computer, I was trapped.

"I don't know her well at all. She is a recent customer of mine. She and a young man ordered some cactus from me. She said that she wanted a certain native species that grows in her hometown in New Mexico. I knew the species she was looking for and I ordered them for her. They should arrive in about one week."

"If she placed an order then you must know where she lives," he growled.

"Yes, she left me her address and phone number. They are in my computer. I seem to remember that she lives in Los Angeles, near West Hollywood."

Evidently Gilberto bought my story because he stopped questioning me about Sarah. He probably felt that I didn't have any worthwhile information. But, as I was about to find out, he was not through with me.

Everything happened quickly. Gilberto, without warning, kicked me in groin. I fell to the floor in terrible pain. He continued to kick me, alternating between my ribs and my head. It was very odd, after what seemed like an eternity of kicking, the intense pain stopped. Everything seemed to move in slow motion and I felt deeply at peace, almost as if I had left my body. I could see everything with a surreal clarity. The man who had stood by the door began overturning my display racks and ripping open various bags of wild birdseed that I kept in the front of the store. The other man, who had approached me with Gilberto, was trying without success to open the cash register.

Gilberto stopped kicking me and began helping his partner with the cash register. The machine is computerized and, short of smashing it to pieces, there was no way they were going to open it. This angered Gilberto and he returned to me.

"Open the register you fucking piece of shit," he screamed at me.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't stand up and the pain returned. He stooped down and held his knife to my throat

"Open the fucking machine or I'll slit you from ear to ear," he commanded.

At that moment I heard what I thought to be sirens approaching from the street and moving up my long driveway.

One of the thugs yelled, "­Gilberto, la policia!" All three men immediately ran to the front door and seeing the squad car approaching, scattered through the nursery. Feeling a sense of relief I allowed myself to relax and lost consciousness.

I didn't know how long I'd been unconscious. I opened my eyes and again tried to speak. My lungs still burned but not as badly. The painkiller was working.

"Thank you for being here, Dan. What did they do to me?"

"I feel so badly. I should never have left you alone. You were right, we should have closed the nursery."

"Don't worry, it wasn't your fault."

"After I left to make my deliveries, Gilberto and his mob came. They beat you pretty badly and wrecked the store. Do you remember anything at all?"

"Yes. I remember being beaten and then hearing a police siren. Everything after that is fuzzy."

"Brad explained to me what happened. After you called his wife, she contacted him and he notified dispatch. There was a patrol car only minutes from the nursery. The sons of bitches hid in the back of the nursery but were caught when they tried to flee over the back fence. All three bastards are in jail.

I can't bear to think what would have happened to you if the police weren't so close by." Tears welled up in Dan's eyes and he held my hand tighter.

"Where am I now," I asked.

"You're in Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital. Dr. Cartwright has been treating you.

"How long have I been here?"

"They brought you in at 3:30. It's now 7:45. Brad met me at home when I returned from making my deliveries and I followed him here. You've drifted in and out consciousness ever since."

Just then Dr. Cartwright entered the door. "Hello Steven, I'm glad to see you are alert. You are a very lucky man."

"Please doctor, tell me what they did to me."

"You were severely beaten. You have five broken ribs, one of which has punctured your spleen. It isn't life threatening but we're ready to take you into surgery. It will have to be removed. You've suffered a major concussion and have numerous lacerations around your head and arms. Considering the magnitude of your beating, you're lucky to be alive.

Your friend here has been with you the entire time. He's only left your side to make the necessary calls to your friends and family. You have a very loyal friend."

"I know. Who did you call?"

"Your parents and brother are here now. Gary is on his way. I also called Spokane.

"Oh shit; what did Mark say?"

"Mark was at work so I spoke with Barbara. She is going to his office to tell him. I expect one of them will call for an update. You know Mark; nothing will keep him away from you. He's probably in flight right now."

"You're ready for surgery," Dr. Cartwright softy spoke.

Dan leaned down and kissed my lips very lightly. "I'll be waiting for you Steven," he said.

I looked at his compassionate yet worried face and smiled. "I love you Dan."

As I was being 'prepped' for surgery, thoughts raced through my mind. There were still so many questions left unanswered and so many things I wanted to say to all of those people that I loved so much. I was grateful for my family and friends and said a silent prayer of thanksgiving for each one of them. The last thing I remember before the anesthesia gently lulled me into unconsciousness was something Dr. Cartwright said.

"Most of your friends and family are in the waiting room praying for you. You are fortunate to have such good friends. Too many times patients go into surgery completely alone, without the knowledge that they are loved. That is just about the saddest thing I can think of," he said.

He went on to quote Henry Durbanville. `A friend is the first person to come in when the whole world goes out'. Those words brought me tremendous comfort.

Some time after I had fully recovered; I learned just how serious my injuries were. I had nearly died on route to the hospital. My heart stopped on two occasions. That was the reason that surgery was not performed immediately. My blood pressure and heartbeat needed to be stabilized first.

I also learned more about Mark's reaction when he was told of the attack and the events immediately following my surgery.

Mark was at work when Barbara received the phone call from Dan. Knowing how hard Mark would take the news, she called Carl. They agreed to meet at Mark's office so they could tell him personally and not over the phone. By the time they arrived, Barbara had been crying. Mark knew immediately something was very wrong.

"What it is, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Mark," Barbara spoke softly.

"Something's happened to Steven. The men that threatened Sarah showed up at the nursery and he's been severely beaten. He's in critical condition. Dan called us with the news but didn't have many details. Evidently he has several broken ribs and other internal injuries. They're waiting for him to stabilize before taking him into surgery. Dan thinks you should try to get there as soon as possible. I'm so sorry honey. I can't believe this has happened to him."

She walked around the desk and cradled Mark's head against her hip as the news slowly registered.

Grief and fear washed over Mark. Barbara later told me that she and Carl thought they were going to need a doctor for him. The news was so horrible and unexpected he slipped into mild shock. For a long time he said nothing. He merely stared at the wall as tears ran silently down his cheeks. Carl and Barbara were eventually able to engage him in conversation and they began discussing what should be done.

"I need to get a flight into Los Angeles or Burbank as quickly as possible," Mark said.

"I'll call the airport and make the arrangements," Carl volunteered. "Barbara, why don't you call your dad and let him know what is going on and then drive Mark home. I don't think he should be driving himself. I'll meet you there as soon as I book his flight."

"Thanks sweetheart."

Carl was able to book a nonstop flight from Spokane into Burbank. The flight was scheduled to leave Spokane at 6:45 p.m. and would arrive in Burbank at approximately 9:25 p.m. Barbara and Carl helped Mark pack clothes and toiletries and drove him to the airport. They arrived with a few minutes to spare.

"I'm worried about Patrick and Melissa," Mark said.

Barbara had asked her mother to pick the children up at school but not to say anything to them. She and Carl would explain when they saw them later that night.

Carl placed Mark's hands into his own.

"Don't worry Mark. We'll explain what happened and let them know why you had to leave quickly. They'll understand. Of course they will be worried about Steven, especially Patrick. But remember, he has a very real faith and I'm sure he will be praying."

It was time to board. Mark thanked Carl and Barbara and gave each of them a kiss goodbye.

"I love you both. Please pray for Steven."

"We will," Carl said. "There is a rental car waiting for you at the airport."

"Thank you. I'll call when I can."

Mark's flight arrived on time and he secured the rental car. He drove to the hospital and quickly located Dan, Gary and my family. Karen and Brad were also in the waiting room. Dan embraced Mark and comforted him as best he could.

"How is he?" Mark asked.

"He's out of surgery and in the recovery room. From there he will be taken to intensive care for observation. If he has a good night he will be given a private room tomorrow. His condition has been upgraded to serious."

"Have you met Steven's doctor? Has he told you what we can expect?"

"Yes. His name is Dr. Cartwright and he has been wonderful. Steven's recovery will be long and painful but Dr. Cartwright doesn't think there will be permanent or long-term damage to his body or brain.

Mark; let me warn you before you see him. He looks pretty bad. They kicked him repeatedly in the head and his face is badly swollen. His eyes are black and nearly swollen shut. There are small cuts and abrasions on his face and major cuts and bruises on his arms. He must have tried to shield his face with his arms."

The color drained from Mark's face as Dan described the details of the beating.

"Did they catch them?" Mark asked. "If not I'll find them and kill them myself."

Dan reached out and lightly put his hand on Mark's cheek.

"They've been caught. If they were still free, you and I would hunt them down together. But thank God, they've been apprehended."

"Thank you Dan. I owe you so much. I'm anxious for us to have a long talk. I want to get to know you better. Steven thinks so much of you."

Mark's words brought a smile to Dan's worried face.

Mark hugged Dan tightly then walked over to greet Gary who was talking with my parents. Gary stood up and embraced Mark, as did my parents. At that moment Dr. Cartwright walked into the waiting room and spoke to the group.

"Steven is resting comfortably in ICU. He will spend the night there for observation. I'm very happy to report that he came through the surgery just fine. His heart has stabilized and I don't anticipate any further cardiac problems."

"What cardiac problems?" Mark asked.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Cartwright said. "I haven't met you yet. Are you Mark?"

"Yes sir. I just arrived."

"Steven's heart stopped twice on route to the hospital. We nearly lost him both times. He seems much stronger now and I don't think we have to worry about his heart failing. We will monitor him closely through the night."

The events of the day were too much for Mark. He leaned against the wall and slowly slid to the floor and sobbed. Dr. Cartwright walked over and sat next to him on the floor. Putting his arm around Mark's heaving shoulders Dr. Cartwright comforted him.

"Steven will be okay. It was so very close, but unless something unforeseen happens, I'm confident that he is out of danger. He has a strong body and is determined to survive. Having you and his other friends here will go a long way in helping him recover.

When Steven was coming out from under the anesthesia, he was calling your name. If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with you privately in my office. Are you okay now?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. I just can't imagine my life without him. When you said his heart stopped twice, I guess it was just too much for me. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Mark. Don't ever be sorry for feeling emotion, especially love."

After sharing a few words with my parents, Doctor Cartwright led Mark to his office.

"I'm very pleased to meet you. Dan has told me about your relationship with Steven. I didn't want to create unnecessary problems with his family or friends. That is why I suggested we speak privately."

"Is there something else wrong?" Mark asked with growing worry in his voice.

"No, not at all. I'm concerned about revealing more than I should. Do Steven's parents know that he's Gay, and that you and he are involved in a relationship?"

"Oh no. I hadn't thought about that. Thanks for your sensitivity. No, his parents and brother don't know about us and now is not the time for them to find out. Other than the man who was talking with Dan, everybody else knows."

"That is Detective Brad Sloane. Thanks to him, Steven is alive today. He had a patrol car stationed near the nursery so when the call came in, they responded immediately."

"Steven told me about him. I'll want to thank him personally."

Mark, we have a small dilemma. The hospital will only allow family members in ICU. I know you are going to want to see Steven when he's coherent. It will do him good to see you too. How do you want me to handle this? As his life partner, the hospital will recognize you as family, but his parents might question why you are allowed to see him while his other friends cannot."

"Oh man, that is a problem. I don't want to give the Houston's anything additional to worry about, but I need to be with Steven."

"I have an idea. Just stay in my office for a few minutes. I'll tell his parents that I asked you to fill in some of the blanks on the admission forms. I'll take Dan aside and let him know what we are really doing. Then I'll go check on Steven. If he's in any condition for visitors, I'll come and get you."

"Thank you doctor. I really appreciate all you are doing for us."

"It's my pleasure Mark. My niece is a Lesbian and I know how difficult society can make it for you. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I was awake when they wheeled me form the recovery room to ICU. Still under the influence of the anesthesia I wasn't feeling much pain. Of course I wasn't feeling very much of anything and kept falling back to sleep. At one point I awakened and Dr. Cartwright was standing at my bedside smiling.

"How are you feeling? You came through surgery very well."

"Tired and maybe a little nauseous, otherwise okay. The pain in my ribs and head seems to be gone."

"Well I hate to tell you this, but it will return when the anesthesia begins to wear off. When that happens be sure you tell a nurse. I've prescribed painkillers for you and I want you to take them. Your recovery will happen a lot faster if you're not in terrible pain. You don't need to worry about addiction to the drugs, I'll see to that. Just be sure you keep the edge off of your pain.

"No problem. I'm not into pain."

"Good. If you promise not to get too excited, I have a surprise for you."

"I like surprises."

"Do you feel like having a visitor?"

"Yes."

"Don't go anyplace," he said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

Within a few minutes I noticed Dr. Cartwright coming through the door and at his side was Mark. At first I thought I was dreaming, but when he flashed me his sexy grin, I realized I was very much awake.

"MARK. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry, I should have listened to you and stayed in Spokane."

"I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes," Dr. Cartwright said. "But nothing strenuous, okay?" He smiled at Mark and squeezed his arm before walking away.

"Don't apologize. You did the right thing. Sweetheart, I love you so much. I was frightened that I was losing you"

"I love you too Mark. Several times I thought I was dying, but each time I willed myself to stay alive. I promised I'd never leave you, remember?"

"I remember sweetheart. I need you babe," he whispered while leaning over to gently kiss my lips.

"How can you kiss anybody that looks the way I do," I said sadly. "I must look hideous."

"No sweetheart you don't. You look beautiful. You look better to me this moment then you've ever looked before."

"You're so sweet. Dr. Cartwright assured me that my face would go back to normal. It may take a few weeks, but it will heal. By the time you move in with me I should be my old self."

"It doesn't matter what you look like sweetheart. I'm in love with you, not your body or face. Although you've got one hell of a body and face so I'm not complaining."

"So much has happened since I got home. Did Gary or Dan talk with you?"

"Not really. I only got here about thirty minutes ago. They both greeted me but we didn't have a chance to talk."

"As soon as I'm feeling a little better I'll bring you up to date."

"Good, but right now you need to rest. Dr. Cartwright told me I could only stay for a few minutes. He's a good man. Since I'm technically not a family member I'm not supposed to be in here, but he bent the rules for us. He was thoughtful enough not to mention our relationship to your parents. That's something we're going to have to deal with."

"I know. I don't want to live dishonestly. We need to tell them. I think they will be okay with it. I'm not sure about my brother."

"I'm not ashamed of us and I'm not ashamed that I'm attracted to men. I don't see any reason why we can't live our lives any way we choose. I sure as hell won't live my life fearful that somebody might find out what we do in bed. If our friends and family really love us, then they'll accept the fact we're Gay. Besides, I think most of them suspect anyway. Have you ever noticed the way your brother stares at me when I hug you?"

"No, I never have. He can be a macho jackass, but he really does have a big and sensitive heart."

"I know he does. I've always liked Kevin. But he gives me a, 'what the fuck', look every time we hug. I just hope he doesn't freak out on us."

"If he does, well, then he does. Nothing is as important to me as you are. You're all that matters to me. I want to tell them soon, but you don't have to be there. I can do it alone."

"No way! We're in this together. Besides, I want you with me when I tell my mom. If you feel strong enough, we can tell your folks before I go back to Spokane."

"How long can you stay Mark?"

"As long as you need me to."

"Let's see how I'm doing. Maybe we can do it tomorrow."

Dr. Cartwright walked up to us with his good-natured smile on his face. "How are you feeling Steven?"

"Tired, but happy."

"As much as I hate to break this up, you've had enough for today. You need to rest. Sorry Mark, but you'll have to join the rest of the group. I've explained to your family and friends that you need to rest and can't have visitors until tomorrow morning. Dan is the only person who knows that Mark has seen you."

"Thank you doctor. I'm very grateful to you," Mark said.

Mark leaned over and again kissed my swollen lips. "I love you so much Stevie. Rest well. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Mark. I love you too."

After Mark left, Dr. Cartwright asked about our relationship.

"How long have you been together?"

"We've been in love since we met in college. But we've only been together in a real relationship for a few days. It's a complicated story."

"I'd like to hear the whole story sometime, but not tonight, you need to rest. I can tell that you are very much in love. When you were coming out from under the anesthesia you were calling Mark's name. Not in a desperate, frightened tone, but gently and peacefully.

You came very close to death. I think your relationship with Mark and the love of your family and friends helped pull you through. As a doctor I tend to view life pragmatically and scientifically. As cold and skeptical as that viewpoint is, I've come to expect healing whenever love or faith is in evidence. Your being alive is testimony to a power far greater than modern medicine. Do you have a religious faith?"

"I have faith in God, but I'm not religious. I've had many bad experiences in the church. I've only recently come to terms with my sexuality. The church taught me that being Gay is sinful and has no place in the heart of God. I did everything I could to try and be somebody that I was incapable of becoming. I wasted years of my life trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Homosexuals are vilified by an institution that is supposed to be filled with tolerance and acceptance. I believe that grace is a free gift to everybody, regardless of his or her spiritual belief system or sexuality. I guess that is where my faith starts and stops."

"Steven, I'm a church going Christian and have been for twenty-five years. It distresses me when I realize how the church has perverted the gospel and has driven so many people from her doors. It's nothing new however. Mankind has tried to manipulate the truth for as long as we've been standing upright. I'm glad that you haven't discarded your faith just because the church has fallen short."

"No, my faith is strong. It's not conventional or dogmatically correct, but it works for me. I guess I have a hard time being around church people. I'm so tired of hearing - 'we love the sinner but hate the sin'. Frankly doctor, that's bullshit."

"I want to hear more about your faith and your relationship with Mark, but I've kept you talking far too long. Let's see how you feel in the morning and maybe we can talk some more."

"I'd like that, but I'm curious. Why are you interested in my relationship with Mark?"

"Let's just say I'm a hopeless romantic and I enjoy being with people who are in love."

I fell asleep soon after Dr. Cartwright left but awakened only a few hours later. As promised, the pain returned. I summoned a nurse who administered something through the IV. I slept fitfully. I awakened early and was irritable. I wanted to be finished with the whole ordeal and go home with Mark. I wanted to have sex with him. It was all I could think about. Sadly, I knew that was not going to happen for some time. Nurses would come in and out of my room and were cheerful as they poked, prodded and diligently studied my vital signs. I didn't want to see anybody but Mark, and he could poke and prod me all he wanted.

Later in the morning, Dr. Cartwright returned. "How are you this morning?"

"Grumpy," I replied. "I'm a terrible patient. I always have been. I just want to feel well and go home. And that's not at all a reflection on the hospital. Everybody has been great, especially you."

"Well, that attitude young man, is a very good sign. With your determination you'll be out of here soon. All of your vital signs are excellent. You'd never guess that less than 24 hours ago you were knocking on heavens door. I'm going to have you moved into a private room. I'll come and check on you as soon as you're settled and, if you want, we will continue our discussion from last night.

The nurses tell me that Mark stayed awake all night in the waiting room. He looks almost as bad as you," he said with a smile. "It took considerable convincing to get everybody else to go home and get some rest. I have a suspicion they will all be back soon."

"I'm anxious to see all of them. How are my parents doing?"

"Of course they're very worried, but they are fine. I had a nice conversation with your dad. We served in the Navy at the same time and were both stationed on San Nicholas Island. He left two months before I arrived so we never met until last night. Let's get you settled in your room and I'll be back."

He returned shortly after I was moved. "There's a line of people waiting to see you. Are you ready for visitors?"

"Yes. Is Mark still out there?"

"He is, but he volunteered to let your parents come in first. He 's quite a guy, I'd keep him if I were you."

"No question about that. Does he really look as bad as you said?"

"He looks tired. Both from lack of sleep and worry. But he's a great looking man. I don't think he could ever look bad."

"I know. He is the finest looking person walking this planet, don't you think?"

"Well, the second finest. I think my wife has him beat."

"How long have you been married?"

"Thirty-eight wonderful years."

"Hey, congratulations doctor. You are one of the rare couples that actually made it work."

"Thanks. I'll send your parents in."

I ended up staying in the hospital four days. Doctor Cartwright continued to take a special interest in me and we enjoyed many interesting conversations. He really is one of the nicest men I've ever met. He's genuinely interested in his patients and lives his vibrant faith. We've stayed in touch and Mark and I socialize occasionally with he and his wife.

Chapter 19 - Home and Family

The unseasonably warm weather we were enjoying moved south. Mark drove me home from the hospital in steady rain. I was still quite sore, especially my left side. Four of my five broken ribs were on the left side. Yet overall, I was feeling much better. The swelling in my face had gone down somewhat yet I still looked awful. I've always been a little vain so I found my appearance to be depressing.

Arriving home I was delighted to be welcomed by my parents and brother, Gary, Dan, Brad and Karen. I soon learned that Gary and Dan had spent considerable time repairing the damage done to the nursery and had begun building a fine relationship with each other.

Dan leaned close and whispered in my ear. "I'll tell you all about it when we are alone." He was grinning like the Cheshire Cat so I knew they must be happy together.

"Are you ready to install my sprinkler system?" Brad asked with his usual good humor.

"I will be soon enough. We should probably wait until late winter or early spring. The ground will be soft and we can immediately begin planting."

"I'm ready whenever you are. I can't tell you how happy I am just looking at you my friend."

"I don't know how I can ever thank you for everything you did for me, Sarah and Miguel. You saved our lives."

"There is no need to thank me. You're my friend. I liked you the moment we met. And I think Mark is great. You are going to be very happy together."

"When did you realize that Mark and I are a couple?"

"On the flight to Spokane," he smiled.

"How did you know? I never said anything."

"As a cop I've been trained to observe people and how they act. When you were telling me about Mark you had a continual smile on your face. There was no mistaking that look, with or without training. You also took a particular interest when I spoke to you about the rise in hate crimes directed at Gays in Los Angeles. I figured that you were Gay and were going to Spokane to visit Mark, your lover."

"Wow! I had no idea that you knew. You don't have a problem with me being Gay?"

"No, of course not. Why would I?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't normally think of police officers as being particularly approving of the Gay life style."

"We're not all macho assholes you know."

"Brad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that. I don't know why I said that."

"Because we have a bad reputation. You're correct, many officers are jerks and should not be allowed to wear the badge. But there are many fine men and women who love their jobs and serve the community well. My closest friend has served on the L.A.P.D. for 23 years and is openly Gay. He's lived with the same man for years and is proud of his life. He enjoys the respect of most of the officers and I'd do anything for him. You also are my friend and I couldn't care less that you're Gay."

When Brad was ready to leave he took Mark and I aside and wished us much happiness. He gave us each a warm hug. He promised to let me know when Miguel and Sarah would be allowed to go home.

"I want us to stay in touch," he emphasized. "I'm anxious for you to meet my wife. Mark, when you get back to L.A., I'd like to have you guys over for dinner."

"I'd really like that. We're hoping that you and your wife will attend our wedding in the spring. Thanks for everything you've done for Steven," Mark replied.

"We'll be there."

Karen left next and Dan and Gary were preparing to leave.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked. Mark and I followed them outside.

"Back to my house. I'm fixing dinner for Dan," Gary said. The look on his face betrayed his real intention for the evening.

"I see. So Dan, does this mean I've lost you as a roommate?" I said smiling.

"Hey, you had your chance Steve."

Dan walked up to me and kissed my lips softly. Whispering in my ear he said, "You know I'll always love you. But Gary and I are really getting along well. He's asked me to spend the night and I'm going to. I think he just might be the man for me. We'll see."

"I hope so. I love you too."

Mark and I stood on the front porch as we watched them drive off. "What was that all about?" he asked.

I told him everything Dan and I had talked about. He was happy for Dan and Gary but I could tell he was uneasy about the closeness that had developed between Dan and myself.

"Mark," I said as I put my arms around his waist. "Do you know that you are the only man for me? Dan is a close friend and I love him. I also love Gary. But I'm 'in love' with only one person, and that's you. I would never cheat on you. I couldn't, I'd be cheating on myself. I only have eyes for you babe. Do you believe me?"

He gently pulled me into his arms and held me closely. "I believe you sweetheart. I'm sorry that I sometimes get jealous. I just can't bear the thought of anybody coming between us. In my heart I know that won't happen, but sometimes I worry."

"Please don't ever worry about that Mark. I've never lied to you baby. You know that's true."

"I want to make love to you. I've missed our closeness. I want to smell your hair and feel your breath on my skin. I've got a boner just thinking about it."

"You know, if we're real careful, I think we might just be able to do that tonight."

"I don't want to hurt you honey. Isn't it too soon?"

"I don't think so. I want you so badly. If my parents and brother weren't inside I'd be on my knees right now. I want us to make love tonight. We'll be careful."

Looking deeply into each other's eyes the world disappeared for us. I was given a glimpse into the sacredness of marriage. Mark and I had created a bond that could only be sustained by our ongoing love. If either one of us ever did anything to compromise that love, the bond could be destroyed. I would never risk that happening. No, I'd never cheat on the man that I love more than life itself.

I've often watched the candle lighting ceremony during Christian weddings. The couple each takes a lighted candle and together lights a third candle. When the third candle is lit they extinguish their individual flames leaving only the third candle glowing. Looking into Mark's eyes I realized how incomplete that symbolism is. Only by the faithful burning of our own individual candles could we ever hope to sustain the existence of the third. I knew with certainty, that the candle, which represents my life, will never be extinguished. Rather, it will burn together with Mark's, brightly and forever.

Breaking our embrace with a kiss, we walked back into the house. Only my parents and brother remained and we decided it was time to tell them about our relationship. Kevin was in the kitchen fixing something to eat while my mom and dad sat talking in the living room.

I was nervous, but knew the time was right. I didn't want to begin my life with Mark dishonestly. Besides, I love my family and wanted them to know the truth about their son.

When Kevin returned to the living room I announced that I wanted to have a family talk. Mark sat next to me on the couch while Kevin sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, directly across from me. By the dark look on his face I suspected he knew what was coming.

"What is it honey?" my mom asked concerned.

"Well, there's something that I need to tell you and it's hard for me to do."

I could feel my chest becoming tight and it was difficult to speak. The tension in the room increased. Mark gently placed his hand on my knee and smiled sweetly at me. His gentle touch helped calm my nerves but I could see Kevin stiffen.

"I know I should have told you this many years ago, but I've only just accepted it myself. There's no easy way to tell you, so I'm just going to say it. I'm Gay and I'm in a relationship with Mark. I've been in love with him since the first day I met him. Back then I believed that it was sinful to be a homosexual so I buried my feelings so deep that I couldn't find them myself.

I dated Kathy, Mark's sister, hoping that she would somehow 'cure' me of my attraction to men. That was a very selfish thing to do to her. I caused her so much pain because I was selfish and refused to face the truth about myself."

Mark spoke up at that point. "I was falling in love with Steven and although I've never believed homosexuality to be sinful, I was hesitant to tell Steven of my feelings. I was afraid I'd scare him away. So we've lived all of these years deeply in love with one another, yet apart. I married Barbara for totally selfish reasons and our marriage was a sham. Barbara and I divorced less than a month ago."

"I've asked Mark to move in with me," I continued. "We plan to be married in the Spring and I really hope you will give us your blessing. You're my family and I still need your love. I'm the same person I've always been, I'm just, for the first time, being honest about my sexuality."

As I finished talking I was greeted by absolute silence. I was beginning to fear the worst when I noticed a slight smile cross my dad's face. He sat forward in his chair and spoke.

"Son, is this what you've been so worried to tell us?"

"Yes. I love you and I haven't wanted to hurt you or lose your respect."

"Haven't we always taught you that honesty is the best policy? Have we ever been angry with you for being truthful with us?"

"No, but I've never told you anything quite like this before."

My mom actually started to laugh. Her tone was happy and my fears began to wane.

"Oh sweetie," she said with tears in her eyes. "I've known that you were Gay since you were in high school. I've never stopped loving you and you've never hurt my feelings."

"But how could you know that? I didn't know for sure myself until very recently. At best, I thought I was bisexual with hopes of being 'cured'.

"I'm a mother Steven and I know my children very well. I saw all the signs. You rarely dated and seldom talked about girls. Unlike your brother, you never did the normal things most boys do. For example, Kevin doesn't know it, but I found his stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. I even found some pretty hard core stuff that he thought he'd hidden well." She directed a smile to Kevin as she spoke. "Steven, all I ever found in your room were Science Digest and Better Homes and Gardens magazines.

In my heart I knew you were different and I never once felt less of you. But I have worried about your happiness. I know how cruel people can be, so I prayed daily that God would bring the right man into your life. And now I see that God has more than answered my prayers."

"Dad, did you know too?"

"No, not really. Your mom voiced her suspicions but I was doubtful. I never dated until I met your mom. I was shy and scholastic. Not the best combination for 'picking up chicks'. I just thought you were probably a late bloomer, like myself. Besides, it really didn't matter one way or the other. All we've ever wanted was for both of our boys to be happy."

Kevin abruptly stood up and exclaimed, "I can't believe my ears. You're all talking like this is acceptable. What the hell is going on here? I've worried about this for years now. They're always hugging and carrying on like a couple of fags and suddenly that's okay? Well, it's not okay, it's wrong. I'm not going to stick around and listen to this shit."

With that said, he stormed out of the house and drove, much too fast, down the driveway. I was concerned how Kevin would handle the news but I didn't expect this. I felt terrible. Kevin and I had always been close and I didn't want to lose his love and friendship.

Dad could see my distress and spoke up. "Give him some time to adjust. I think he'll come around. Kevin has always been hotheaded and quick to react emotionally. But he's equally quick to get over his anger and usually feels badly for his behavior."

"Kevin is feeling bad about himself," mom added.

"Why?" I asked.

"He's had a run of bad luck. He just broke up with Brenda after nearly two years together. And, he lost his job. He didn't say anything to you because he didn't want to burden you while you were in the hospital.

Try to understand how he feels. On top of his own problems, he now realizes that you possess what has always eluded him - a loving relationship. He's jealous Steven. The whole Gay reaction was merely a cover-up for his real feelings. He's suspected your relationship with Mark all along; he said so himself. It was just more than he could take at this time. He'll come around. He loves you Steven and he's always liked you Mark. More than once he's wished he had a friend like you."

Thinking about my brother I felt sad. He always seemed to have a harder time with life than the average guy. Not a bad student, but he always struggled for his grades. He's jumped from one dead-end job to the next. Friendship is very important to him and he'll do most anything for those people he thinks are his friends. His easy going nature and knack for 'hanging out' with the wrong crowd usually meant that his 'friends' would get him into trouble. Yet he always remains cheerful and ready to lend a helping hand. He's always been a wholesome, hetero guy, looking for a woman to settle down with, and a handful of buddies to hang out with. It just never seemed to work for Kevin.

"I feel really bad for Kevin. I sure didn't mean to add to his load. I'll give him some time to settle down, then I'll contact him."

"Thank you honey. Don't worry too much, he'll come around. Trust me." Mom's reassuring words helped me feel better.

"All I want to do is live my life as honestly and happily as I can. I want you to know that I couldn't love anybody any more than I do Mark. He is my soul mate and the source of my happiness. I know we'll never be able to give you grandchildren, and we'll probably make it awkward at family reunions, but I'm hoping you will welcome him into our family. He is my life and I love him with all of my heart, mind, body and soul."

"Welcome to the family Mark," dad said as he walked over to give him a hug. I couldn't pick a finer son-in-law."

"Honey, I'm so pleased that you and Mark are together. Although I knew you were Gay I never suspected that Mark was. I thought he and Barbara were happily married. But when I asked God to lead the right man into your life I always imagined it would be somebody just like Mark." Mom kissed Mark and hugged him tightly.

It was early evening by the time my parents left. It had been a long day and I was physically and emotionally drained. Neither Mark or myself were overly hungry but felt we should eat something. Mark decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches for us and we ate them with a glass of milk while sitting next to each other on the couch.

After we finished eating Mark said he would clean up the house and kitchen. I started to object when he said firmly, "Steven, just stay put, you really need to rest. You've overdone it today and I don't want you back in the hospital."

I stretched out on the couch as he cheerfully picked up the remains of the day. I could hear him softly singing to himself but couldn't quite make out the song. Mark has a nice baritone voice although he's shy about singing. It made me feel good that he felt comfortable singing in front of me.

I fell asleep on the couch. I awakened about an hour later to the music of `California', an excellent Bluegrass group that we both like. The lights were out and candles softly illuminated the room. I sat up looking for Mark. He was sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs, smiling at me. On the table next to him was an open bottle of nonalcoholic apple cider and two crystal wineglasses.

"Mark, what have you done?" I asked warmly.

"You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you. Besides, I've never watched you sleep before. Do you know how beautiful you are my love?"

"I love you so much."

"This is our first night together in our home. I thought it would be nice to have a toast. I know you'd rather have Merlot, but with all the medication you're taking, we'll have to settle for apple cider tonight."

I was happy to hear him say, 'our' home. "You are so sweet Mark. Come over here next to me."

He set the apple juice and glasses on the table next to the couch and leaned over to kiss me. "Don't go away," he said. "I'll be right back."

"He went into the bathroom and I could hear him rummaging around. He was looking for something. I had no idea what that might be. In a few minutes he came back and I could see that something was in his pocket. Whatever he was looking for he evidently found.

"Stevie, we were sitting on this couch, eleven years ago, when you told me about your dream. I will always treasure that night. That night I came to you hurt and confused, and you loved me. You made me feel like the most special man in the world. And what you did to me later, in the bedroom, was the first truly satisfying sensual experience I'd ever experienced. Now it's my turn to show you just how much that night still means to me."

We drank a little of the apple cider as we cuddled. The air in the house had become chilly so Mark got up and built a fire in the stove. Returning to the couch he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of lotion. I recognized it immediately. I knew he was going to massage my feet the same way I did to him so many years ago.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm feeling perfectly happy. You've given me more than I ever dared to hope for. I want to make love to you."

"I'm worried that it's too soon. Put your feet in my lap and let's go slow. We have the rest of lives together."

I knew he was right. Dr. Cartwright had still not released me from his care and I certainly didn't want a relapse and end up back in the hospital. What a dilemma. I was tired from the events of the day but so wanted to make love to Mark. I looked at his handsome face and was treated to his sexy grin.

"Come on babe. Lean back and put your feet in my lap."

I kicked my shoes off and leaned backward into the softness of the couch. Mark slowly, seductively, removed my socks and poured a small amount of lotion onto my left foot. Because the bottle had been in his pocket, the lotion was warm. That got me excited. With slow deliberate strokes he deeply massaged my foot. His strong hands caressed every muscle. As he erotically worked the big toe my cock began to swell. He had me completely under his control and he knew it. Each toe on that foot received the same sensual treatment. I was experiencing Nirvana. Looking into my eyes, he smiled sweetly.

What he did next nearly sent me over the edge. Slowly lifting my right foot, he took my big toe into his mouth. Alternating between gentle suction and swirling his tongue around the entire toe, he sent waves of pleasure through my body. My cock was rock hard and a small wet spot was beginning to show through my pants. I was leaking a large amount of precum. Mark saw it and grinned. Returning his gaze to my feet, he made love to each toe.

By then the fire had successfully taken the chill out of the air. The temperature was cozy and I could hear the rain falling on the roof and dripping off the eaves. I don't think I'd ever felt more at peace and secure as I did at that moment.

Sensing my contentment Mark slipped off of the couch and knelt on the floor alongside me. He slowly removed my shirt and began sucking my erect nipples. As his mouth and tongue tantalized one nipple his fingers would gently pinch and rub the other. The wet spot on my pants was now the size of a half-dollar. Slowly and with determination he was taking me where he knew I wanted to go.

He moved his tongue into my navel. His gentle licking tickled and my excitement mounted. As he continued to lick my stomach he gently began rubbing my hard shaft through my pants. Sensing that I would blow any moment he removed his hand from my dick and gently cupped my balls. He began licking upward along my right side reaching my armpit. He buried his face under my arm and allowed his tongue to trace designs in my abundant hair. He had never done that to me and once again I was close to orgasm.

"How are you feeling Stevie? Is this too much for you?" There was concern in his voice.

"You're making me feel wonderful. Don't stop. I'll let you know if I'm hurting in any way. You are a remarkable lover."

Without saying a word he began to unbuckle my belt. He then opened the button of my jeans with his mouth. Grasping the zipper with his teeth, he slowly pulled it down. I was going crazy with lust and anticipation. Very gently, being mindful of my stitches, he pulled my jeans down to my knees. Standing up he walked to the end of the couch and pulled them off of me completely.

He quickly returned and buried his face in my wet briefs. I couldn't believe how much precum I had leaked. As he nuzzled my cock through the cloth, his right hand reached between my legs. He expertly maneuvered his hand through the leg opening of my underwear and his index finger found my waiting rosebud. Gently he passed his finger back and forth across my small opening. I began to writhe in ecstasy.

After many blissful moments of rubbing he withdrew his finger. With both hands he removed my underwear and his eyes lingered for a moment as he looked at my exposed cock. He then put his middle finger into his mouth and thoroughly lubricated it with saliva before returning it to my hole. Slowly and gently he inserted his finger and I could feel my sphincter muscle close around it. Closely watching my face for discomfort he paused, allowing me a moment to adjust to the welcome invader. When I smiled he began moving his finger back and forth. He was fucking me with his finger and I was going crazy.

While continuing to provide me with sublime anal enjoyment he took my balls into his mouth. Knowing how sensitive they are, he was very gentle. By now powerful sensations were beginning to come from every direction. I felt as if I was on sensory overload and managed to warn him that I was very close. Moving from my balls he took my 7-inch cock all the way to the base. His nose pressed firmly into my pubic hair. I couldn't control it any longer and began filling his mouth with my sperm. I just kept pumping, spurt after spurt, and he didn't lose a drop.

After a moment he moved his body upward and tenderly kissed my mouth. As our tongues intertwined I could taste my cum in his mouth. I was perfectly satisfied and so much in love. Without bidding, tears flowed down my cheeks.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked with concern. Have I hurt you?"

"No, not at all. Just the opposite. You've made me feel so good. I'm crying because I'm so in love with you. It seems I can't control my emotions anymore. I've cried so much since last November I'm beginning to think I'm menopausal."

He took me in his arms and held me until I had recovered.

"Where did you learn how to do that Mark?" You were incredible. You swallowed my entire cock without gagging. How did you do that?"

Mark actually blushed. "I'm a little embarrassed to tell you."

"You don't need to be embarrassed with me Mark. We don't have any secrets from each other."

"I know. But.."

His face was flushed with embarrassment and my curiosity was peaked.

"You don't have to tell me, but I can't imagine why you would be embarrassed with me."

"Promise you won't tell anybody about this, okay?"

"Mark, you know I would never do anything that would hurt or embarrass you. I promise. You can always trust me. Besides, who would I tell?"

"Okay. Do you remember telling me that you watched some Gay porn flicks so you could learn how to please me?"

"Yes."

"I was really touched that you did that for me. It just showed me, once again, how much you love me. So, after you returned to L.A., I rented a couple of movies so I could get some ideas. The movies really turned me on. I decided I wanted to learn how to do some of what I saw. I watched those guys' deep throat enormous cocks. I couldn't see how they could do it without gagging, so I practiced."

"YOU WHAT! Who did you practice on?" I said with hurt in my voice.

"Not who Stevie, don't worry. God, I'm so embarrassed. I practiced on a Zucchini."

As hard as I tried not to laugh, I couldn't help myself. I just cracked up at the image in my head. Looking over at Mark I was relieved to see that he too was smiling. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but the thought of him sucking on a squash was just hilarious to me.

"Was it good for you babe?"

"Very funny."

"I'm sorry for laughing. I never promised I wouldn't laugh."

"Go ahead and laugh all you want. I must have looked pretty stupid. Just don't tell anybody, okay?"

"I won't tell anybody, honest. Wasn't the Zucchini a little rough on your mouth?"

"You'd have to ask that wouldn't you?"

I could tell there was more to the story and started chuckling again. "Come on Mark, tell me."

"Oh shit Steven, you're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Probably not. If you don't tell me I'll tickle you until you do," I said while smiling at him.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you. I heated it in boiling water for a few minutes and peeled it. Actually it felt pretty realistic. There, are you happy. You're boyfriend is a pervert."

"I forced myself to stop laughing and took him into my arms. "You're totally spoiling me babe. You don't know how happy you've made me. Don't ever change the way you are. I think you are as close perfect as any person could be. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Now it's my turn."

"Not if you're hurting Steven. I can wait."

"My side is pretty sore but there's nothing wrong with my mouth. Take off your clothes handsome."

He slowly removed his clothing and once again I marveled at his beauty. His dark brown hair set off his golden tan. He was wearing his hair shorter than usual and it gave him a youthful look. Looking at me his brown eyes twinkled and his straight, white teeth sparkled.

My cock responded happily as I looked at the luxuriant hair that covered his broad chest. I could see tufts of brown sticking out from under his arms. As I've said before, I love Mark's hair. He's not a bear, covered from head to toe, but where it does grow; it is thick and soft. His pleasure trail descends from just below his 'pecs' down to his stomach where it once again is plentiful. From there it continues south and leads into a dense forest just above his perfectly shaped penis. While making love in Spokane I found that I enjoyed burying my face in his pubic hair. It's warmth and clean masculine scent is arousing and comforting to me.

It was awkward trying to find a position that wasn't painful. Mark was so sweet and patient. He tried to assure me that he was perfectly happy waiting, but I was determined to bring him to an enjoyable climax. Besides, I longed to have him in my mouth. We finally moved to our bed, allowing us more room and greater flexibility. Lying on his back with his legs spread, I found a comfortable position with my head just below his large balls. I had a great view of his mysterious canyon that I so longed to explore. Rising majestically, his 7 1/2-inch cock, stood like a monument to manhood.

My tongue soon found it's way to his sensitive hole. Lightly I flicked it back and forth and Mark began to moan. "Stevie, I love it when you do that to me."

"I know you do babe, and I love doing it to you."

As I inserted my tongue, his moans became louder. I reached upward with my left hand and began massaging his nipple while my right hand grasped his penis. Very gently I used my thumb to rub the sensitive area just below the head. I was hitting three 'hot spots' at the same time and Mark began to tense. I knew if I continued he would shoot before I was ready for our lovemaking to stop. I withdrew my tongue and stopped rubbing his cock. Just in time. I sensed he was close to the edge

I decided to direct all of my attention to his cock. After giving him a moment to relax I took just the head into my mouth. I only used my mouth and didn't touch him anyplace else. His most sensitive spot is on the underside just below the glans. While keeping his head fully in my mouth, I ran my tongue up and down this sensitive area. I could feel and taste precum as it leaked onto my tongue.

"Stevie, you're making me crazy."

I didn't say anything but slowly began sliding my mouth down his shaft. I wanted to take all of him, as he had done to me, but knew I'd have difficulty. I'd pull my mouth back up, just to the base of his corona then go back down again, slowly and sensually. Each time I'd go down a little bit further. Whenever I felt him start to tense I'd ease up, bringing my mouth almost completely off his penis, allowing only the tip of my tongue to brush across his piss slit.

I repeated this process for at least half an hour, bringing him to the threshold of ecstasy then backing off. He began squirming and raising his ass off of the bed pushing his cock further down my throat. I was pleased when I realized my face was buried deep into his pubic forest and his whole 7 1/2 inches fit comfortably in my throat.

"Steven, please let me come now, I can't take any more," he begged.

I increased my speed and sucked harder. It only took another couple of seconds when I heard the now familiar growling begin. A loud "Aaaarrrgghhhh......" escaped his throat and my mouth filled with his warm, slightly salty cum. He delivered a huge load. I didn't want to lose any so I swallowed, creating more space for the ongoing gusher. His spasms finally subsided and the flow stopped.

I allowed him a moment to catch his breath before pressing my lips to his. He opened his mouth and I allowed the cum that I had saved, to flow into his mouth. He swallowed then placed his tongue deep within my throat.

Holding each other we drifted into a peaceful sleep.

We both awakened around 7:00 a.m. I had my usual 'piss hardon' and went to the bathroom to relieve myself. Mark followed me and put his arms around me as I stood in front of the toilet trying to pee. He nuzzled my ear with his nose and I could feel his morning beard rub up against the side of my face. It felt incredible. He tightened his hold around my waist as my cock finally softened enough for me to pee. When I finished he took my place in front of the toilet and let loose with a steady stream.

I know it sounds strange, but sharing the bathroom with Mark caused me to realize how much I was enjoying the intimacy of living with somebody I was in love with. Until that moment I never would have thought that taking a leak could be so satisfying. We had reached the point where we were sharing everything.

We brushed our teeth then Mark said, "Let's take a shower together."

Climbing into the warm water he took the bar of soap and lathered my back and chest. As he moved lower he was so very careful to keep the area around my incision as dry as possible. One of Mark's best traits is his thoughtfulness. This was just another example of his considerate nature. There was dried semen in our chest hair. Evidently we hadn't swallowed all of it the night before. We laughed as we scrubbed each other but decided, in the future, we would clean up before falling asleep.

I was feeling good, almost back to normal. The pain in my ribs was gradually getting better and my headaches had stopped altogether. My face was not as swollen and although still black, my eyes looked brighter. Feeling better, I was excited to spend the day working in the nursery.

Mark started a pot of coffee and set the table while I mixed some batter for pancakes. While eating we discussed our plans for the next few days. "How much longer do you think you can stay," I asked.

"I don't want to ever go back baby. I just want to stay at home with you."

"I don't want you to go back, but Patrick needs you. I'd really like for the two of you to have a full and glorious Christmas season."

"I know. He's going to miss me when I leave, and I'm going to miss him too. The good news is - he can spend the summer with us. We often talk about all the exciting activities the three of us have in store. He wants to go camping - at Red Rock Canyon."

"That will be fun. I've got several science projects planned and I think I'd like to buy some lapidary equipment. He'll love that."

Mark blew me a kiss from across the table. "What's that for?" I asked.

"For loving Patrick so much."

"You know Mark, in a way I feel like he's my son too. Not to take anything away from you and Barbara, but I feel a paternal tie with him."

"He loves you Steven, every bit as much as he loves me. You've been a great role model and Barbara and I appreciate what you've done for him. Because of your influence he wants to be a biologist. Did you know that?"

"I just assumed he would. He's a remarkable boy and I really do love him. I'm anxious for him to spend summers with us."

"As much as I hate to leave you, I guess I should fly home in a day or two. I have a lot of work to finish for Chester and you're right, I want to make Christmas very special for Patrick and Melissa."

After breakfast, Mark called the airlines and booked a flight for Wednesday, leaving us only two more days together. We decided that we would make every minute special.

The rain had stopped sometime during the night and the sun was shining. But the temperature was cool and everything was wet, so we decided to work inside. I needed to confirm the recent e-mail orders and get caught up on ordering. Mark kept his head buried in the books and studied every aspect of the business. He is analytical and highly creative so I was excited to hear his thoughts. We spent the entire day working side by side, stopping only to eat lunch and indulge in an occasional hug.

I don't know how the nursery would have survived the last two weeks without Dan. While I was in Spokane he managed to fill orders, make deliveries and install the new irrigation system. During my hospital stay he kept the nursery open in addition to visiting me at least twice each day. On top of that, he and Gary repaired the considerable damage done by Gilberto.

Dan deserved some time off. Although it was still early, I called Gary's number, knowing that Dan had spent the night with him. I wanted to catch him before he left. I was hoping that he and Gary would spend a leisurely day together. In bed would be nice.

Gary picked up the phone after two rings. "Hello." He sounded chipper.

"Hey Gary, how's it hangin'? " I said cheerfully.

"Steven! Good morning. It's hangin' just fine, although a few minutes ago hangin' would not have been the appropriate word."

"All right Gary! That's what I was hoping to hear. I'll assume the relationship is heading in the right direction."

"Oh my gosh yes. He makes me so happy. I'm almost afraid to say it, but I think I'm falling in love with him. I like everything about him. He's thoughtful, has a great sense of humor and is very intelligent. Last night we talked for hours about current events. He has keen understanding of the issues and is a good conversationalist. Did you know that he regularly attends lectures at the college and he..."

"Jeez Gary, I was hoping you were going to tell me that you fucked like rabbits, not solved the world's problems."

"Don't interrupt," he said warmly. "I was getting to that. He's TERRIFIC in bed. We went 'at it' half the night and when we awakened he was ready for more. I don't know if this old heart can take it, but I'm sure gonna find out."

I could hardly believe my ears. The normally quiet and reserved Gary was as giddy as a schoolgirl. I had a feeling that they were going to be very good for each other.

"Gary, I want Dan to take today and tomorrow off. He's worked so hard and I want the two of you to enjoy a couple of days together. Also, talk with him and find out when the two of you can take a mini-vacation together. I'm going to reserve a cottage in Carmel for you. There's a splendid resort that I think you will enjoy. Let me know when you can go and I'll make the reservations."

"Steven, you can't do that. Carmel is so expensive and..."

"Yes, I can. It's my way of thanking you for all you've done for me. Just talk with Dan and find out when you can get away. I'll take it from there. Don't say any more. I love you guys. Bye."

I hung up the phone before Gary object.

To be continued.

Thank you for your generous support. I've received many messages of encouragement and I'm sincerely thankful for each one. I feel as if I've made new friends, all over the world.

Several people have indicated that they are having difficulty sending me e-mail. One of my new and astute friends has discerned the problem. Evidently there is some confusion as to what my address actually is:

rustynail920

The lower case letter l (ell) and the number 1 (one) look very much alike. My address is rustynail - like the cocktail, or what you fear stepping on if you've not had a recent tetanus shot. Does this clarify anything at all? Hopefully.

I'll try to answer every message as quickly as possible. Please e-mail me at: rustynail920@yahoo.com

Mark