Inadequate Men

By Jude St. Jude

Published on Apr 23, 2020

Gay

Inadequate Men

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Chapter 16 -- Interesting Times

A little after 5 AM, Jared opened his eyes in bed. Having fallen asleep before 10 PM the previous night, he realized right away there was no way he was going to doze back off.

And as usual when he first woke up, he could feel his morning wood pressing into the mattress. He laughed as this reminded him of a time when, during his junior year of college abroad in Tokyo, he'd tried in multiple languages to explain to a group of Chinese guys in his Japanese language class the double meaning behind the words Do you find it hard getting up in the morning?

Aside from finding it hard, Jared also found that it was still a little sticky from the previous night's activity, and headed straight for the shower.

Once he'd toweled himself dry, and now wrapped in his thick white robe, Jared headed to the kitchen and got some water boiling for coffee. He flashed back to how his previous day had begun and thought, Yeah, Folgers is a distant second for sure.

While the electric kettle heated up -- yep, another gift from his magical mom, along with a French press -- Jared killed time and kept himself warm by doing a few sets of push-ups and glut crunches. He hadn't been to the gym since the night that he and Tom had met, and started to worry that he was getting out of shape until he realized that this had only been five days earlier.

Five days? How was that even possible? So much seemed so different now...

But the click-off sound of the kettle interrupted Jared's musing. After French-pressing himself a cup of coffee, he popped open his laptop on the dining room table and took a look at his email. As usual, it was mostly junk from organizations that only marginally interested him, plus the few work-related emails that always seemed to find their way into his personal account.

One, however, sparked his interest: the one from TomTom8888, time-stamped 2:38 AM, whose subject line read Interesting Times....

Curious, Jared opened the email and started reading:

Hi Jared,

I'm up late tonight, thinking over our good times together over the last few days. They've been great, and there's lots to say, all good!

Tonight after you and I got off the phone -- I'm trying to resist saying got off on the phone -- I remembered something that happened a while back that I haven't shared with you yet -- or anyone, actually -- and it's now got me sleepless. It involves my younger brother, Eddie. I hope it's OK to share this with you, cause I'm just going to go for it. Fair warning -- it's a little pervy, so if you don't want to hear about this stuff, better not read further. (As if you could possibly resist reading on after a headline like that!)

As you know, Eddie is 3 years younger than me. I told you about my own "shower room" experience when I was 13 and he was 10. We took off our bathing suits together and I found out that his penis was already bigger than mine. And how, over the years, sometimes when we are alone and nobody else can hear, Eddie sometimes calls me "Little Brother" in a tone that lets me know what he's referring to. This is still a thing he does, by the way. He did it twice the last time we saw each other, at a family reunion last summer. And let me add that in the second case, this happened to be when we were both changing out of our wet bathing suits after swimming in our uncle's pool together. He always says it the same way, "How's it hanging, Little Brother," with this swagger he has. And it feels so embarrassing, so I want him to stop, but if I'm honest I have to admit that it also kind of turns me on. And then, add in that Eddie is straight and about to get married, and maybe you get the picture.

So we're up in my uncle's bedroom getting ready to take our showers, and the first thing Eddie does is peel off his bathing suit. It's been more than 10 years since we've seen each other naked, and I can tell that he's really wanting to show me up. Because he's standing there looking all proud of it, not hiding it at all. And dude, he has every reason to be proud. It's WAY bigger than I remembered it, or more likely it's just grown a lot since then, a good 5 inches soft. And it's got a really nice shape to it, too. Damn, Eddie just got blessed with this really nice big cut dick, and now the two of us are alone, and he can't wait to show me what he's got!

Worse yet, I just got out of the pool only a few minutes before, so mine is completely shriveled up in my bathing suit, tangled in my pubic hair. And Eddie is turning on the shower saying, "How about you shower first, and I'll shower after you," then sits on the bed with his legs spread wide -- big, muscular legs, because he works out non-stop. Basically, he's putting me in a position where I either pull my bathing suit down in front of him, or just slink off into shower by myself. And remember, I'm the older brother, and I'm still taller than he is. Only now we're both adults, and even though he's a head shorter than me, I just don't measure up where it really counts. And he's about to confirm that.

So I'm hesitating, making up some excuse about how I'm waiting for the water to warm up. And the longer I'm waiting, the more anxious I'm getting, because at this point it's pretty much inevitable that he's going to see my small equipment. And then I notice that in anticipating having to pull down my bathing suit, my penis is starting to get hard. Just the thought of having to embarrass myself by showing my younger brother my small penis is getting me turned on. And to know that I HAVE to do it, that I have no choice in the matter, is somehow also turning me on. But also, putting it off and revealing to Eddie how embarrassed I am is also turning me on. And the more I'm hesitating, the more I can see that he's is getting into watching me squirm. I mean, he's still sitting naked on the end of the bed, and his big dick is starting to spring to life, and he's totally proud of it.

But here's the thing, I'm still into it. I want my brother to see that his older brother has got a small one. I can see that it's turning him on, and that's turning ME on. And like I said, Eddie and I haven't seen each other naked together since he left home for college.

But here's what's crazy, is that I suddenly remembered something that I literally haven't thought of for years.

When we were about 15 and 12, Eddie was getting his room done with new carpeting and paint, so for a week or so he had to sleep in my room. For the first few nights, he was using a sleeping bag, but then after that I remember he kept finding excuses to sleep in my bed. First, he would start wrestling with me, jumping on top of me while I was in bed. But I would always send him back to his sleeping bag before "lights out." After that, one time, he crawled in with me in the middle of the night after he said he'd had a bad dream. He slept with me all night, and then the next night he asked if he could sleep with me again because he was afraid he'd have another bad dream, and I said yes.

I really didn't think much of it, but my bed wasn't all that big, so Eddie and I were kind of crunched in there together, and both of us in our underwear -- in those days, white briefs for both of us. And any time I tried to roll over and go to sleep, Eddie started tickling me, or doing something to keep me awake and engaged with him. So then I would turn around and wrestle him back. And since I was taller, I was always able to push my way on top of him, and then we'd be lying there together with our bodies pressed against each other, panting and out of breath.

After this happened a few times, I started to get hard in my underwear, and I could feel that he definitely did, too. The last time I pinned him and then rolled off of him, we were both breathing really hard, and neither of us could stop. In fact, I remember thinking that I was going to have to make up an excuse to go to the bathroom, because I knew for sure that I'd be needing to get my rocks off before I could sleep. But then the next thing, Eddie is lifting up the covers and looking underneath them, saying, "Damn, I don't think I can sleep now." My heart practically jumps into my throat as I look and, even in my dark room, I can see how tented up he is in his underwear. And I'm trying to play it off, but he keeps on about it. "Dude, my balls are blue now," and "Bro, I need to do something to take care of this." And he's not only lifting the covers, but also lifting the front of his underpants, where he's sporting a pretty damn thick hard-on for a kid his age. Bigger than mine, that's for sure.

Finally, I can't even believe it, but I just tell him, "Yeah, me too," and lift the front of my underwear to show him my much smaller stiffy. To my relief, he doesn't comment on the obvious size difference, but just keeps letting his big thick one stick out further from his underwear. And I start doing the same thing, until both of us pretty much have our briefs halfway down our thighs. But even so, neither of us has touched our dicks yet.

"I will if you start first," he says, and of course, I say, "I will if you start first." So we both start reaching for our dicks at the same time, and that's when it happened. Eddie grabs the big, thick head of his dick and gives it a few tugs, and he completely unloads on his stomach and chest. And he came a LOT for a boy his age, but then, he was about two years into puberty at that time, had already grown his pubic hair and everything.

I was so in awe, I couldn't believe it. I mean, my little brother's big, thick cock just spooged in a major way, and I'm still there rubbing my small, thin one, trying to make it shoot. That's when the comments start: "Come on, Tom," he says, "Can't you even do it yet?" And I feel completely defeated, because my little brother's dick is not only bigger than mine, but it also works better, too. I keep at it for a really long time, it seems like hours, and finally manage to produce a little cum that dribbles out of my dick onto my pubic hair.

"At last," Eddie says. He reaches over to my nightstand and grabs a fistful of tissues, then starts mopping up all the drying cum from his body. Then, he goes back there again and takes one more tissue, hands it to me, and says, "That oughtta do it."

I was mortified. Most of all, because that one tissue REALLY DID do the job.

So Eddie rolls over and said, "Goodnight, Little Brother," and falls asleep in a few minutes. Meanwhile, I tossed and turned for hours after that, unable to sleep.

I hadn't thought of that incident for years until Eddie was sitting on the bed last summer, all naked and proud, with me trying to hide my small penis from him at all costs. And when I thought of it, that same sense of embarrassment returned. In a minute, I was going to have to reveal to him that, even after all these years, my erection was still as small and thin as it was when I was 15. Meanwhile, his had grown from the hefty 12-year-old dick I remembered to the thick 8 incher that he was proudly displaying. At this point, he had let it beef up to a full erection sticking up in his lap and bobbing up and down.

Feeling defeated, I accepted the inevitable and pulled down my bathing suit, revealing my boysized thin one. I could see myself in the mirror as well. From any angle, it looked small, but when compared with what my younger brother was sporting, it was humiliating.

"Damn, Little Bro," Eddie said, "What's going on?"

"How do you mean?" I asked, feeling my face flush.

Eddie stood up and walked over to me, letting his big hard cock lead the way. "I mean, you're supposed to be the Big Brother, right?"

"Yeah, but," I stammered, unable to think of anything to say. It was official. I was beaten. He was always going to win. When we were both still boys, I could kid myself that I would eventually grow up bigger. But now, it was obvious to both of us that he had fully grown up and I just hadn't.

He was holding his dick at the base so that it's full size and thickness was apparent, pointing it at me, inviting me to hold mine next to his and compare them. All I could do was push my dick out as far as I could from my pubic hair and hope that in some way it measured up. Lined up with his, it was like comparing a finger with a fist. My penis was not just short compared with his, but it was literally so thin that Eddie could completely hide it underneath his. And, of course, he was wearing that smirk all over his face.

I could barely believe how big and hard his dick was, so I reached over and just touched the head of it between my finger and thumb. Shocked, Eddie tried to push my hand away, but not in time. I had barely touched Eddie's hard dick when he pulled away suddenly, the look on his face completely changed. He suddenly bent over, struggling in a way I recognized all too well. "Oh, fuck," he said, "I think..." and I could see the first cum rise to the head of his big dick and start to drip out onto the carpet. It hadn't started pumping yet, but I knew that now nothing could stop it.

"What's wrong, Big Brother?" I asked, "Can't you hold it?"

I shouldn't have said that. I could tell he was in big trouble, that there was no way back. His whole dick was completely engorged and the head was purple, with cum slowly dripping out the slit. I knew his balls must be aching for release, but he was still desperately holding on, trying to stave off the inevitable. I could tell he was trying as hard as he could not to unload like this in front of me, and he would do anything to keep it from happening, if only he could.

But at last, his body just heaved as his hand moved up his shaft from his balls, where he was trying his best to hold back the cum, to his hard shaft, so he could finally give himself the relief he needed. His hand involuntarily pumped his dick over and over again, as jolt after jolt of cum shot out onto me and all over the floor. From trying to hold it back so long, he was way too worn out to be able to control it in any way, and it just helplessly spilled out of him.

When it was all over, Eddie tried to look me in the eye, but couldn't. I tried to say something to reassure him, but he just pushed past me into the bathroom and slammed the door. I heard him open and slam the shower door so hard I thought the glass would break for sure. And then I listened and I could hear him sobbing so loudly I was afraid the others in the house might hear. I thought about knocking, but didn't want to disturb him. After a few minutes, his sobbing sounded like it was slowing down. I didn't knock, but tried the door, and found it wasn't locked. I opened it and looked inside. I didn't see him at first, because he wasn't standing in the shower. Instead, he was sitting on the floor of the shower with his knees up against his chest and the water washing over him. He could see me through the clear glass and I could see him.

"Shut the door," he said.

I stayed in the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Then I surprised us both by opening the shower door and stepping inside. Hell, I was already naked and covered in cum, right? I leaned against the wall and crouched down where my brother was, kneeling down opposite him. Our legs interlocked and he scooched up to make room for me. He still couldn't make eye contact, though. He tried a few times, and then dissolved into sobs again, covering his face in his hands. I touched the side of his leg in support and he did something I didn't expect: placed his hand over my own and squeezed it. I leaned into him, placing my other hand on his shoulder. He lifted himself up and then pulled me into a hard hug, and then the floodgates really opened. He just cried and cried into my shoulder as the water continued to wash us both clean.

...

Hey Buddy, I didn't set out to write a novel. But since this incident happened, Eddie and I haven't talked about it, and I haven't told anyone else about it. I hope it's OK to tell you, but I'm guessing it is. And it means a whole lot to have a man in my life that I can trust that much.

Oh, and there's just one more thing to add here... What prompted this email in the first place: A couple hours ago, I got a phone call from Eddie. He called to tell me that his engagement to his girlfriend was off. He sounded pretty messed up behind it, and we talked for a while. He said he has a lot more he'd like to talk with me about, and asked me if he could come and stay with me for a few days. Of course I told him yes.

It was way too late to call or text you by that time, hence the email. Hopefully, you and I can sort it out together when we talk next, but it's pretty late and I'm exhausted, so for now I'll just say goodnight.

Your Pal, Tom

To be continued...

Thanks for reading! If any of this story speaks to you and you've thought about writing to me about it, please do: judestjude2357@gmail.com. I promise to do my best to answer, especially if you're feeling alone with no one to talk to about this stuff. Thanks again, TJ

Next: Chapter 17


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