Inadequate Men
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Chapter 19 -- Tom's Struggle
"OK, Pal," Jared whispered in Tom's ear, "That feels good, huh?"
"I'm so close," said Tom, almost a whimper. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it."
"Already?" Jared asked, a little sadistically. "I think if I do this, it makes it harder to hold it?" He pushed closer his body into Tom's and then pulled back. It was just once, but the motion increased the stimulation on Tom's fully engorged penis, which was already at the edge of release.
"Unnnnnnnnhhhhh..." Tom said, in both pleasure and pain, desperately trying to maintain control and keep his lubed penis from prematurely ejaculating between Jared's thighs. "Please don't move again, or I won't be able to hold it."
"But you're supposed to hold it no matter what," Jared told him. As he did, he could feel his own small penis start to stiffen into Tom's body.
"I know," said Tom.
Jared's penis sprung fully erect as he heard the embarrassment in Tom's voice. He asked, "What's a man supposed to be able to do, Pal?"
"A man..." Tom began, and then paused, because he knew saying the words out loud could well push him over the edge. Although he had heard them in his head a thousand times, berating him with his own inadequacy, he had only ever spoken them to Jared. "A man is supposed to be able to..." He steeled himself up. "A man is supposed to be able to hold off as long as it takes to satisfy his partner."
Jared asked, "You think you can do that?"
"I don't know," Tom answered. "I'm trying... I'm trying..."
Jared could feel how hard Tom was trying. A few minutes before, they had been just cuddling and making out naked in bed. Jared had shared with Tom some of the revelations of the day, first with Sean on the phone at the café, and then the email from Kyle. And, of course, they'd talked more about the situation with Tom's brother, Eddie.
Of everything that had happened, that was the most supercharged for Tom. "I'm really glad you don't think I'm a total perv," Tom had laughed.
"Why?" Jared asked.
"Well, let's see," Tom said, "I touched my brother's dick and made him cum, then took a shower with him."
"That all sounds pretty hot to me," Jared admitted. "I mean, I've never had a brother, but always wanted one. Luke was the closest I ever had to a brother, and except for a few letters after he moved, I haven't seen him for 20 years." He went on, "For me, anything that involves doing stuff with your brother is a total turn-on."
"I'm relieved," Tom said, "I didn't tell you this, but after I clicked Send on the email, I went into a shame spiral, convinced that you were going to break things off with me because of what I'd done."
"Really?" Jared asked. "Tom, meeting you is the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time. There's no way I'm breaking up with you, my Pal."
Tom said, "Me, too, my Buddy." They lay together for a few moments, then Tom added, "So, if I share one more thing between me and my brother...?"
Jared said, "Wow, there's more?" And waited.
Tom said, "So, um... Remember how things I ended things in my email?"
Jared said, "Yeah, you and Eddie were sitting on the floor of the shower together. He was pretty broken up, and you were helping him out by just being there."
"Yeah, I've never seen him like that," Tom said. "The shower was running over both of us, and he was crying so deeply that I was almost afraid he would break something. I was holding him, and the two of us were rocking back and forth with his sobs. Also, I was holding one of his hands and he was squeezing it tight. We stayed like that for a long time, him hugging me so hard I almost couldn't breathe. But it felt really good.
"As his crying started to wind down, Eddie was still holding me tight. I was thinking that I should really let go of him and let him have some space, but something held me back. When we were kids, we used to play together a lot, and wrestle in our underwear with our shirts off, even though it usually didn't lead anywhere. I really missed that closeness I used to feel. And now, here we were. And I didn't want to let go. And I guess he didn't either, because he kept holding on to me, even though I could gradually feel that he was regaining his composure. And he kept sort of nuzzling into my neck, which felt really good, so I kind of rubbed back.
"And pretty soon, we were rubbing our faces into each other pretty good, and kissing each other's necks, and he was even kissing my face. We still hadn't kissed yet, though, cause I guess we were both reluctant to do that. But we kept getting closer, him kissing my face and me kissing his. And then, finally, our lips were touching, and we both knew that we both wanted it, even though we knew it was wrong to want it. I kept thinking, this is my brother, we're not supposed to want this, but I knew for a fact that we both wanted it. I'd always wanted it, since I was a 13-year-old wanting us to be naked together at the campground showers. I wanted to be the big brother showing the little brother how our bodies worked, only it didn't quite turn out that way. But I still wanted it. I wanted to kiss my brother, Eddie, and have him kiss me back. And now, we were naked together in the shower, and he put his lips over mine, and we pushed into each other..."
At that, Jared pushed back the covers and revealed Tom's thin penis fully erect and stiffly bouncing up and down. As usual, Jared was not yet hard, though he was leaking a lot of precum. In fact, even though Jared felt excited from his racing heart all the way down to the pit of his stomach, his penis was shriveled down to its smallest adult size. He felt so good that, with Tom, he didn't have hide it, apologize, or make up an excuse.
Jared grabbed the lube from its now-permanent place on his nightstand and poured a serious amount of the stuff all over his own dick and balls, getting plenty between his thighs. Next, he poured an equal amount on Tom.
"Careful, Buddy," Tom warned him, "I'm pretty close already."
"Man, it turns me on when you say that, Pal," said Jared. "Can we try something?"
"You and me, Buddy," Tom told him, "We can try anything you like. What did you have in mind?"
"I wanna see how long you can hold it," Jared said, "And you know it's cool if you cum in 2 seconds, right?"
"Yeah," Tom said, "I know. Like at the restaurant, it's OK to push me, OK?"
"I intend to," Jared said, pulling Tom towards him. Both men lay on their sides facing each other, and Jared guided Tom's thin erection in towards him, between his legs and just under his lubed-up balls.
Tom moaned, "Oh fuck, that feels good."
"OK, Pal," Jared whispered in Tom's ear, "That feels good, huh?"
"I'm so close," said Tom, almost a whimper. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it."
"Already?" Jared asked, a little sadistically. "I think if I do this, it makes it harder to hold it?" He pushed closer his body into Tom's and then pulled back.
"Unnnnnnnnhhhhh..." Tom said. "Please don't move again, or I won't be able to hold it."
"But you're supposed to hold it no matter what," Jared told him.
"I know," said Tom.
"What's a man supposed to be able to do, Pal?"
"A man... A man is supposed to be able to... "A man is supposed to be able to hold off as long as it takes to satisfy his partner."
Jared asked, "You think you can do that?"
"I don't know," Tom answered. "I'm trying... I'm trying... If I move even a little, I'm gonna shoot."
Jared kissed him, and Tom kissed him back for a long time. Jared was rock hard, turned on in a way that he had never felt before with another man. He asked Tom, "What do you call it when a guy shoots that fast?"
Tom felt both embarrassed and intensely aroused all at once. He loved that Jared was going to make him say it, but he knew that it was OK if it happened. "Um..." he said, "It's called... having a premature ejaculation."
Jared kissed Tom again and his heartbeat exploded in his chest. He could feel Tom's struggle and embarrassment, and at the same time knew that they were sharing the most intimate moment either of them had ever had. "You're doing so good at holding it, Pal," Jared told Tom, and kissed him deeply again. "Pal, you're doing it! You're the man!"
"I'm trying so hard," Tom admitted, "Not to have a premature ejaculation."
Jared kissed Tom again and said, "It turns me on so much to hear you say that."
"I know," said Tom, "It's so hard not to let myself finish. I'm trying so hard... I wish I were more of a man."
"Me too," said Jared, sharing in Tom's embarrassment, "I wish I were more of a man." He reached between himself and Tom and started rubbing his lubed-up dick, which felt incredibly thick in his hand. And for the first time, instead of rubbing it the way a boy does -- just using his finger and thumb -- he started rubbing it with his hand wrapped around it, the way a man is supposed to do. And Jared felt so proud at that moment, like he was finally beginning to grow up into the man he was supposed to be. "Oh god," he said, "I'm starting to get close..."
But with Jared moving back and forth, Tom's fully erect penis was getting way more stimulation than he could handle. After waiting motionless for so long right at the edge without letting himself cum, an aching torrent of desire had built up in Tom's balls that desperately needed release. He just couldn't hold back any longer from thrusting his penis in and out under Jared's balls, and as he did, he felt himself slip over the edge, and there was no coming back. Unable to stop himself, he slammed his body against Jared's as his thin but rock hard penis started squirting uncontrollably between Jared's thighs.
At the same time, Jared felt the full build-up of pleasure at having his whole hand wrapped his cock, just like the grown-up man he wanted to be. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum," he said, and his hard dick started unloading all over Tom's chest and stomach.
For a few minutes, both in a daze, the two men kissed and kissed, each wanting to prolong the closeness they felt.
Finally, Jared said, "I love you -- so much," and kissed Tom deeply again.
At last, Tom said, "I love you, too -- so much."
And after all that, there wasn't much more to say.
To be continued...
Thanks for reading! If any of this story speaks to you and you've thought about writing to me about it, please do: judestjude2357@gmail.com. I promise to do my best to answer, especially if you're feeling alone with no one to talk to about this stuff. Thanks again, TJ