Warning: This story is quite sentimental.
For your information, Silje is pronounced like Celia.
INGVILD AND SILJE
As soon as she stepped out of the plane, Ingvild felt the chill of the wind. I must be crazy, she thought, going this far north to spend summer. It wasn't like she had to go either, she could have stayed back south, partying and sunbathing with her friends. Well, friends, she wasn't sure if that was the right word, people she could hang out with anyway. Like she did last summer, and the one before that.
"And of course I forgot to dress properly". It took just a few seconds in the biting wind and rain to make the memory of the suffocating Oslo-heat seem like a distant past. But just two hours ago, boarding the plane, Ingvild had felt almost dizzy, and even a pair of denim shorts and a tiny t-shirt had seemed too much for her slender body then.
Almost running to get inside, she then passed through a small corridor and suddenly found herself in the arrival hall, which happened to be where the baggage reclaim was located as well. Not exactly Heathrow airport, this. Which meant it must be quite easy to single out Silje. Still, Silje COULD have made things a little bit easier by at least sending a picture. She didn't have a lot to go by, not anything really, except the fact that they were cousins, so Silje couldn't look totally different from herself. Ingvild scanned the crowd. Where could she be?
For some reason her eyes stopped at a slender girl by the exit. Could that be... no, she didn't really look like a cousin of hers at all. Ingvild was blonde, this girl had dark hair. Silje kept scanning, but somehow her glance returned to the pretty brunette. And now she noticed the brunette was looking in her direction as well. Maybe it was...? Ingvild formed "Silje" with her lips, and gave the girl a quizzical look.
The response was immediate, and in just a couple of seconds, the two girls were hugging each other.
"I can't believe it, you're finally here." The warmth of her cousin's body was welcome after the freezing wind outside.
"What kind of cousin am I," Silje smiled, "inviting you to spend the summer in a windswept place like this. I must be cruel..."
"Hey, I don't regret it for a second, it's so good to see you!"
On the bus ride down to where Silje lived, Ingvild tried to soak up as much as she could of the scenery. She could still see some scattered patches of snow on the hills. She liked the location, the town was situated on an island, nestled between the main land and a larger island to the west, somehow protected from the merciless sea that was raging outside. What must it have been like living here one hundred years ago, she wondered. Or two hundred? She thought about her and Silje's ancestors, living as fishermen and subsistence farmers for hundreds of years.
"Having second thoughts?" Silje's voice took Ingvild back to the present.
"No, I'm just thinking... it's all so strange."
"This is where you're coming from."
"I know. So why did it take me twenty years to come here?"
"We both know why."
Of course they did. While Ingvild and Silje were still just babies, their mothers had fallen out over some heritage issues. It had to do with the right to a cottage. This even ended up in court, and finally it was decided that it belonged to Ingvild's parents. That stupid cottage! They never even used it.
"My folks suck," Ingvild muttered.
"Mine were as much to blame," Silje replied.
And if they'd got their way, Ingvild thought, they still wouldn't have met. Only when Silje had found her e-mail address on the internet did she hear from her. That was half a year ago, and since then they had written to each other weekly, first just e-mails, then proper handwritten letters. It was so cool to find out they had so much in common, they liked the same music, same books and so on. She just seemed so different from the people in Ingvild's class at school. Silje had just moved on her own in an old, slightly dilapidated, but inexpensive and very beautifully located house some five miles away from the town centre, and when Silje invited her to spend the summer at her place it had been an easy choice. Her cousin seemed like such a cool girl, and Ingvild really felt like getting to know her better.
"Hey, thanks for sending me that e-mail, Silje."
"Come on," Silje laughed, "you've been here for about 15 minutes. There's still plenty of time for us to fall out."
"Yeah, just like our mothers."
"Exactly. For instance, where did you get that from?" The brunette stared greedily at Ingvild's necklace. "Didn't that belong to our grandmother. If so, am I not due some form of monetary compensation?"
"Oh no, there can be no talk of that. You see, my mother was the first born, which entitles her to grandmother's possessions. All of them, in fact."
"Yes, but my mother was actually much CLOSER to grandmother than yours, which becomes apparent if you read the will, where it says, if not explicitly, that...-"
"How close? The court will ask for an exact measure..."
"Er... THIS close?" Silje indicated with her thumb and index finger.
"Not good enough."
"Okay then," Silje sighed, tugging at the necklace, "the necklace is yours. But now I'm gonna hate you forever, and if I ever get any children I'll certainly stop them from seeing any of yours."
"Don't worry, my children will only be too pleased to be protected from the influence of your degenerate... offspring."
The two girls looked at each other for a second, before breaking out in laughter. Suddenly, they were all serious again.
"You're someone I don't want to fall out with, Ingvild."
"We won't, Silje, we won't."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Ingvild lay in bed, looking out the through the big open window. There was no hope to catch a glimpse of the midnight sun tonight, the sky was heavy with rain - Ingvild just waited for it to finally pour down. And it was early morning anyway, they must have been talking all night. She thought about her first day at her cousin's. It had been so perfect. Ok, they had exchanged letters for six months, and already Ingvild had felt closer to Silje than to any other person. But there was always the fear that actually meeting her, face to face, would be an anti-climax. That somehow the real Silje was not like the person in the letters - the one Ingvild had become so fond of. It had only been a day, but Ingvild felt almost certain that there had been no reason to worry. Maybe Silje actually was that friend she had been looking for all her life? Not like the ones from back home. They were ok for parties and fun things, but Ingvild wanted something more from a friend. Had she found that in Silje?
The days flew away, Ingvild was having the time of her life. Maybe it wasn't the things they did - hiking, playing volleyball with some friends of Silje's or occasionally going out - so much as who she was doing them with. Silje! It just felt so good to be around her. Actually, although she didn't say that to her, Ingvild liked it best when they just stayed in at Silje's place, or maybe went for a walk in the nearby woods. She liked having Silje all to herself. She was so nice to talk to. Although outgoing and sociable, Ingvild was normally very reserved when it came to letting others in on her deepest secrets and feelings. That's why it surprised her how natural it felt to share these things with Silje. For instance the fact that she'd never really been in love. She'd had boyfriends and lovers, but never felt any deeper connection with any of them. In fact, the guys she'd been closest to had not been her lovers at all, just friends.
"Maybe I'm just spoilt", Ingvild said, blaming herself for her inability to establish lasting relationships with guys. "I keep looking for Mr. Perfect."
"Don't blame yourself, Ingvild", Silje replied. "There's no point in being with someone if you feel it's not right."
"What about you, have you ever felt true love for someone?"
"Er... no, not really."
That was the tricky bit, getting Silje to talk about HER feelings, HER love-life. She was a wonderful listener, but somehow shied away from talking about herself. Why? Although only 18, a pretty girl like Silje must have had some experiences with guys. Why wouldn't she tell her? Didn't she trust her? Ingvild felt concerned. However, after they'd gone out a couple of times, Ingvild started making more sense of things. Whenever guys tried to chat Silje up or make a pass at her, the brunette would withdraw. She wasn't even teasing or playing with them, just trying to signal in a polite way that she was not interested. Or could it be that she was just extremely shy? But why, with her beauty there was nothing for her to be insecure about. Could it be something else? Ingvild tried putting two and two together.
"Silje, you've never had a boyfriend, right?"
She nodded.
"But do you ever really want to have one, in the future?"
Sensing that Silje was anything but comfortable with this question, Ingvild let her take her time. She put her hand on her cousin's shoulder to comfort her. When she met the brunette's eyes, she could see tears forming. There must be something I can say to relieve her pain, Ingvild thought, almost clenching her fist in frustration. Then she remembered something, a song that Silje had played to her over and over again. Ingvild started humming gently.
"I can't stand to see you cry I love you too much that's why..."
A cautious smile spread on Silje's face. Ingvild clutched her cousin's hand, slowly running her hand through her long, silky dark hair.
Suddenly, Silje looked down again.
"I... I like girls more, I guess."
"Silje, that's nothing to be ashamed about."
"You don't think I'm strange?" She still looked a bit like a child who's done something wrong and waits for punishment. Once again, Silje was struck by her beauty. There was something so innocent about her. If anyone EVER tries to hurt Silje, Ingvild thought, then...
"You ARE strange, Silje... strange as in special, beautiful, unique."
Ingvild didn't know where those words came from. But they sounded right.
"But why didn't you tell me right away?"
"Well, you couldn't expect me to meet you at the airport holding a big poster above my head, saying "I'M GAY" in capital letters!"
"Why not," Ingvild grinned, "that would have been kinda cool."
Silje remained a little apprehensive.
"So you still want to be my friend, even though I'm gay?"
"I thought YOU didn't want to be my friend, because you wouldn't tell me about personal things."
She put her hand on Silje's shoulder again, pulling her closer.
"Of course I am your friend, Silje, always, no matter what."
Despite that confession, Ingvild sensed that Silje hadn't told her everything. From what she said, Ingvild reckoned her cousin was still a virgin, but she felt that was only half the story. It took yet another week to bring some light on the issue. It was a clear, sunny day and they were playing volleyball with some people from Silje's high school class. While Silje would often seem to drift off into a world of her own, Ingvild noticed how focused she was on the game. She didn't take her eye off the ball for a second. Ingvild, on the other hand, soon realised she was keeping her eye on her cousin more than the ball. Her presence was just so impressive! Whenever she jumped up to smash, her timing was flawless; it looked almost effortless the way she hit the ball, but the effect was lethal, she always knew where to send it. Her whole way of playing was so elegant, an impression no doubt enhanced by her appearance. Silje was wearing a pair of really cool retro Adidas-shorts - she claimed she'd inherited them from an aunt on her father's side! - and a white t-shirt, and was absolutely stunning. Wow, I can't believe I have such a beautiful cousin! With her long dark hair and big, round, dark blue eyes, Silje had that 1970s actress look, Ingvild thought. Completely special. And such a slim, athletic body; smallish but pert B-cup breasts and amazing legs. She was beautiful, quite simply. Compared to her I'm ordinary, Ingvild admitted to herself. Not that Ingvild was unhappy with the hand she was dealt. There were a few things she might have seen different; her nose was a little to big, her eyes too narrow. But other than that, she had a cute face - guys always complimented her full, sensual lips - and a slim body very much like her cousin's, except her breasts were fuller, they could almost fill a C-cup. Yeah, Ingvild liked to think of herself as cute, maybe even good-looking - but not beautiful like Silje.
Not quite understanding why, Ingvild kept sending hidden glances in her teenage cousin's direction. As the game developed, Ingvild couldn't help but notice the wet patches of sweat forming on Silje's white T-shirt. Silje was a slender girl, and just 5'4, but her sensuality was so overwhelming, so... powerful. If I had been a guy, Ingvild mused.
Just as Silje was about to deliver a serve, another girl - slim, with short blonde hair - entered the scene.
"Hi, can I join ya?"
The effect was instant. Silje's serving had been without fault all day, but now she missed it completely. Suddenly, she looked so nervous and insecure, and her playing suffered from it. It was hard to put it down to anything but the appearance of this girl, who by the way was a good player herself. They played for another fifteen minutes, before Silje told her she felt tired and wanted to go home. Just as they were about to leave, the other girl came over.
"Had enough already?" she smirked.
"We'd been playing for an hour before you came," Silje replied, without turning her head.
"So who is this new... girlfriend?" the girl continued, disregarding Silje's lack of friendliness.
"I'm -"
Ingvild was cut off by Silje.
"She's my cousin Ingvild who's here to visit me for the summer." She motioned for Ingvild to follow her, looking eager to leave the place.
"Hi, Ingvild! I'm Raysa, nice to meet ya."
Those eyes! Grey, enigmatic... cool, but so intense at the same time. Like they could make things freeze by staring at them. And all their intensity was directed at Ingvild. It was a strange sensation. The girl was really pretty too. There was something boyish about her narrow hips and short hair, with a cool forelock constantly threatening to obscure her stunning eyes. Her coolness was paired with a deep femininity; it was impossible not to notice her amazing nipples, they were like just bound to tear a hole in that t-shirt anytime.
"Hi..."
"How long will you be staying?"
"All summer."
"All summer! And of course Silje doesn't tell a word to anyone." She gave Silje a mischiveuous look. "But that's cool, it means I'll see you at one of our parties."
"Parties?"
"Yeah, my parents are away for the entire summer, so I have the house all to myself. I'll let you know when I have some more specific plans. You're warmly invited," she smiled, "you and your moody cousin." She gave a cheeky grin in the direction of Silje, who was already leaving. "See ya!" she smiled, her hand briefly brushing Ingvild's arm as she turned away.
Ingvild almost had to run to catch up with her cousin, who seemed to be in a rush to get home.
"Who was she?"
"Didn't she introduce herself?"
"Yeah, but who IS she? Why did you feel so uncomfortable when she arrived?"
"I'll tell you as much as she certainly seemed to like you. You can be happy you're not gay, because a lustful glance from her is like a blessing from the devil!"
Better thread carefully here, Ingvild thought, the last thing she wanted was to upset Silje. She looked over at her. She will tell me sooner or later, Ingvild said to herself.
It turned out to be sooner. They were lying on Silje's bed, listening to one of those old Stevie Wonder-albums Silje was so fond off, when the sound of someone crying made Ingvild put her arms around her cousin.
"It's ok, Silje, just cry if that's what it takes." Ingvild pulled Silje closer to her, holding her tightly to stop her friend's body from shaking. "That's it, just cry."
"I feel so stupid," Silje snuffed. "I thought I was over it, and then, when she appeared today, it all came back..."
"Raysa?"
"Hmm-mm."
"Has she hurt you?"
It took another five minutes of quiet sobbing before an answer came.
"Well, I GOT hurt, that's for sure." She looked up at Ingvild. "Whether it was her or my own fault, I'm not sure."
Slowly, the whole story came out. Raysa - her father was Russian, hence her Slavic name - had started in Silje's class just last autumn, and Silje had fallen almost right away. It had been more like a fantasy to Silje, because there was no indication that Raysa was into girls. She liked guys, and they certainly liked her as well. But just as Silje had settled with that, confining all thought about Raysa to the fantasy department of her mind, something happened.
"I had just come back after a run. I was all sweaty and looked forward to taking a shower. As I started undressing, I heard someone was already in the shower room, apparently drying herself. Well, you know who it was, right?" A resigned smile appeared on Silje's face. "I can still see it all before me, Raysa coming out from the shower with just a towel wrapped around her waist. As soon as I realised it was her, I looked in another direction. She has caught me looking at her before, in class, but never in the locker room. I was always very careful about that. But then, there was complete silence. All I could hear was Raysa's breathing. It was almost scary. I had to look up, and there I met Raysa's gaze. I will never forget that, she looked so triumphant! We both knew at that moment that I had lost. I tried to look away again, but it was in vain. I was forced to look at her as she removed her towel. She was so beautiful... and aware of it. There was an almost evil look in her eyes. Completely naked, she dried her hair in front of the mirror, just a few feet away from me. And she didn't say a word, not a single word. Neither of us did. Oh my God, I felt so stupid, but going mad with excitement at the same time. There were so many thoughts in my head, so many questions, like, Why? I didn't say anything, but tried to ask her with my eyes. All I got back was that same victorious grin. When she finally - it felt like ages, though probably only lasted a few minutes - dressed and left, I just wanted to disappear from earth. Here was I, having planned so carefully to conceal my attraction to girls, never looking at a girl twice, no matter how attractive she would be. And then this girl comes along and immediately she knows everything about me. How, I don't know, she just KNEW! Knew that I was into girls, knew that I was into HER. It scared the hell out of me."
"But what happened since? Did you talk about it?"
"No, never," Silje sighed. "And she never told anyone else about it either. But every time we meet she just gives me that same knowing look, like, you're under my spell, and don't try to get away. Like she has this POWER over me!"
Ingvild hugged her friend tighter. She searched for the right words to say...
"But... don't you think she is attracted to you as well? She wouldn't have played this game with you if she wasn't."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... you like her, right. Maybe she's just playing with you to get your attention. She might be a bit mischiveous, but she can't be this evil sadist type of girl that you seem to think. If you talk to her about it, I'm sure you would get another impression."
"No, you don't understand." Silje shook her head. "Maybe she is attracted to me in some kind of way, but... whatever happened between us, I know I would only end up with a broken heart. I just know it. Because she is so much stronger than I am. I would always be just her play toy."
After a few minutes of silence, she heard Silje's voice again, hardly audible.
"You think I'm stupid, falling completely for someone I hardly know at all."
"No, it's not that, but... you have to make a choice, either go for it, or get her out of your head."
"I thought I was over her. Since you came, I haven't thought about her much, the last week hardly at all. But today -"
"But Silje, she's not the only girl in the world."
"You wouldn't say that if you were gay."
That was SO wrong. Raysa was stunning, but...
"If I were gay, I would have fallen for you, not her!"
An awkward silence followed, with Ingvild trying to figure out what she had actually said. What did I mean by THAT? Ingvild asked herself. She thought about adding, Obviously, I'm not gay, or something like that, to remove all potential for misunderstanding, but that didn't feel right either. Because it was true... if she'd been gay, she would have fallen head over heels in love with Silje. It wasn't even that hard to imagine.
"That was kind of you to say," she heard Silje say, her voice muffled by Ingvild's neck. There was no sarcasm in her voice. Silje soon fell asleep in her arms, but Ingvild had too much on her mind. Silje, Raysa, Silje and Raysa, Silje and herself... she thought about what Silje had said, about how staring at other girls would give her away as a lesbian. My god, if that meant something, then she... she sometimes just couldn't take her eyes away from Silje! Like today when they were playing volleyball. Or yesterday, Silje was lying on the grass outside, reading a book. Ingvild had admired her from the kitchen window for what must have been ten minutes at least. Her beautiful face, so full of youth and freshness, and the same time displaying a hint of that melancholy which seemed to haunt her... the drops of perspiration on her brow, brought out by the sun... the soft curves of her slender teenage body... she was just like a dream, a dream of youth and innocence. Ingvild couldn't imagine ever going tired of looking at her. She had only been shaken out of her trance when Silje raised her hand and waved at her. Ingvild put her fascination down to some kind of aesthetic appeal her cousin possessed. Ingvild had always loved drawing, and had a fine eye for the beauty of a landscape, a street, or a human face. That's it, it was simply a visual things, aesthetics, nothing to do with attraction in any case.
But somehow, explanations that worked fine yesterday, suddenly didn't seem so convincing anymore.. Lying here with her beautiful cousin in her arms was an altogether different story. An image appeared before her; it was a mirror of the present image, Sillje and herself lying together on the bed, arms and legs intertwined. Except it was early morning, not late afternoon... and they were both naked.
Ingvild fell asleep with that image on her mind.
At first, Ingvild thought it would all just pass. I have become so wrapped up in Silje's problems, she reasoned, I have almost started to feel like a lesbian myself! But that explanation - and countless others - had to be discarded as it slowly dawned on the blonde 20-year old that she was genuinely attracted to her cousin. Just a couple of days after that afternoon on Silje's bed, Ingvild fantasized about her brunette friend for the first time, touching herself wishing it was Silje. The following day they cycled some ten miles off to the neighbouring island, where Silje knew of a nice place - apparently, even the weather conspires against me now, Ingvild gathered, because has there ever been one continuous week of steaming sunshine in this part of the world, meaning: has Silje been given the opportunity to show off her stunning body for such an uninterrupted length of time before?
The two young Norwegians parked their bicycles and retrieved their bikinis from their bags. The intense summer heat had both girls' bodies glistening with sweat, Ingvild couldn't wait to get out into the water for a swim. But realising she had to be careful now, she turned her back on Silje as they changed.
The cold water was refreshing. Probably too cold for taking a swim, but under these circumstances it felt like just what she needed, a cold bath to cool her down. Of course, the relief lasted only as long as they were in the water. Back on the shore again, each lying on their rug, reading a little, suntanning, talking - the blonde could feel the tension of being so close to Silje. Tension accompanied by guilt. Because this was more than just enjoying a beautiful summer day on a remote beach with your best friend. This was about lying just inches apart from someone you just the other night had fantasized about, had dreamt about making love to. And now she was here, the object of your desire, with just a tiny bikini covering her most intimate places, a bikini you in your imagination already have removed over and over again. But this was someone who trusted you, who told you things they had never told anyone else, who relied on you. And what was Ingvild doing? When she should focus all her mental energy on trying to help Silje with her problems, help her getting over Raysa, she was - fantasizing about her.
She couldn't take it anymore.
"Er... let's go back home, Silje."
"But why, it's only four."
"I don't know, I feel a little dizzy."
"Let's take another bath then?"
"No, Silje, please..."
Caringly, Silje put her hand on Ingvild's shoulder.
"Of course we're going home. Yeah, you look a bit pale." The 18-year old looked at Ingvild with eyes full of concern. "Are you feeling ill?"
Ingvild couldn't stand it, looking into her cousin's beautiful dark blue eyes. Those eyes didn't know anything, didn't know what Ingvild had been thinking about her, about doing with her, doing TO her...
"But Ingvild, what is it?" Silje asked, her voice increasingly anxious. "Please, tell me. You're really not well. Should I get someone to pick us up? You can't cycle home in this state."
"It's ok, Silje, I just... I can do it."
How can being in love with someone hurt so much, Ingvild wondered, as she lay wide awake in her bed that night.
"What do you say, Ingvild?"
Another two weeks had passed. Two weeks that had removed all doubt in Ingvild's mind; she was in love with Silje. And it wasn't just a summer fling, couldn't be, because Ingvild had never felt anything consume her so completely. Her body, her soul yearned to become one with Silje.
"Let's go to Raysa's party this week end." There was an impish gleam in the young brunette's eyes.
"To Raysa? But -"
"I've been thinking about all the things you have said, Ingvild, a lot. You're right, I just have to get on with my life. I really feel like I'm getting over her, finally, and I just want to prove it to myself by going to her party tonight. Of course, only if you're coming along, I need some extra support just in case", she smiled.
"Do you think this is so smart?"
"I'm serious, I think I'm over it," the 18-year old insisted.
Maybe she's right, Ingvild reflected, she had also noticed how a change seemed to be taking place in her cousin.
When they were greeted welcome by Raysa, her cousin seemed to be quite unaffected. The brunette didn't even seem to be too much concerned with Raysa's flirting, like when she put her hand on her hip. Ingvild, on the other hand, was all rejection when Raysa tried her flirting ways with her. Raysa was a very attractive girl, but things were complicated enough as they were. With her body language and her face, Ingvild gave the Russian-Norwegian a clear message not to pull that one on her.
An hour and a few drinks later, Silje pulled her over to a more secluded part of the big garden.
"Did you see that?" Silje said, looking almost proud. "I even flirted back with her!"
Ingvild could smell vodka on the younger girl's breath. The alcohol was clearly beginning to go to the teenager's head, although Ingvild was really glad to see her cousin this happy.
"It's good to see her losing her grip on you, but I do think one of us has had enough drinks for tonight." Actually, Ingvild felt slightly dizzy herself too.
"Hey," she smiled, laughing, "I'm not your helpless little cousin anymore. I'm ready now, ready to have dates and... maybe I want to take a girl home with me, tonight?" The child-like rebelliousness in Silje's voice totally melted Ingvild's heart.
"As long as you don't do anything I wouldn't do," Ingvild quipped mischiveuously, before announcing to her cousin that she was off to the toilet. "Back in a minute, wait here!"
Finding the downstairs toilet occupied, Ingvild was told there was a second one upstairs. She tried to find her way in the dimly lit upstairs corridor.
"Oops!"
"Oh, hi, Raysa... er... could you tell me where the bathroom is?"
Raysa smiled, although Ingvild had come to realise that a smile from her could mean a thousand things.
"Sure, Ingvild." Ingvild felt Raysa take her hand and lead her into a room. "Here it is, happy?"
"What is this?"
"You asked for the bedroom, didn't you? Well, this is my bedroom. Like it?"
"This is not funny."
"Oh, you meant BATHroom," Raysa exclaimed, eyes wide. "I heard bedroom, silly me."
"Raysa, I really have to pee!" She turned to go out. "Please tell me where...-"
"Hey, not so fast!" Raysa put her arms against the wall on either side of Ingvild. "Don't you appreciate my hospitality. Do you think I let just any girl into my bedroom?"
"Stop it, Raysa! You can't play around with me like you did to Silje. I know what you're like!"
"Oh, taking the moral highground, are we? Exactly what have I done to Silje?"
"You know perfectly well what..."
"No, I don't think I do!"
"You played with her, you used her just like a little toy, when you know how sensitive she is. You made her cry, you bitch!"
"Wrong, Ingvild. I COULD have hurt her, that's true, I could have slept with her, and then just dropped her like a discarded toy. But I didn't. I never touched her. I just gave a little sexy show, something for her to remember me by. I didn't want to hurt her." Then she probed her beautiful grey eyes deep into Ingvild's. "If I really want to hurt someone, I can do much better than that, Ingvild."
Ingvild was afraid to carry this conversation any further. Raysa had won not just the argument, but something else as well. Those grey cool eyes, they were so powerful! Ingvild knew she had to get out of here.
"Please, Raysa."
"Please what?"
There they were again, her eyes! Subjected to them, it was all a different thing. Ingvild tried to pull away, but couldn't.
"Let me go..."
"You're free to leave, Ingvild," Raysa grinned. "See, no hands!" She held her hands behind her back, giving Ingvild a free passage out.
"But Ingvild, what are you waiting for, didn't you have to..."
Ingvild felt Raysa's hand on her hip.
"No, Raysa, no, don't..."
The girl's hand sent jolts of electricity through Ingvild's body. Soon it moved from her hip to her thigh... and from there to her...
"Oh no, no, Raysa, I'm begging you..."
"What's this? It's not desire, it is? I didn't know morally superior beings like you were capable of being horny."
The hand slid under Ingvild's panties, tickling her sparse pubic hair.
"Oh, you shave as well," she exclaimed, "What can we make of that?" She wouldn't stop. "I mean, girls like you who've never had an indecent thought... about Silje, for instance. Because you're only concerned about her well-being, aren't you? The fact that she's a gorgeuous brunette doesn't enter into the equation at all, does it, not for you?"
She could feel Raysa's sweet breath on her face. Ingvild felt like her heart was beating a hole in her chest.
"Oh no, not for little Ingvild, because she is just a so much KINDER and CONSIDERATE person than everybody else..."
Raysa's hand was rubbing her now, rubbing her pussy. Ingvild opened her mouth, but no words escaped. She was lost, lost in the sensation between her legs, in Raysa's eyes, in her own powerlessness... She gave in completely, rocking her hips as Raysa fondled her, opening her mouth to let in the other girl's tongue. Oh my god, how could anything so cruel taste so sweet...
"Yes, Raysa, yesss..."
Raysa's hand was working magic between Ingvild's legs, bringing the 20-year old blonde to places she didn't even know existed.
"Just admit it, Ingvild... You fancy Silje... You don't care if she's your best friend, your cousin, you just fancy her like mad..."
"Yeah... ahhh...."
"Basically, you just want to fuck her, don't you?"
It was happening... she was letting it happen... In a glimpse, she saw Silje's face as she had left her just a few minutes ago, smiling, happy, so full of innocence, so full of not knowing. Tonight, she's going to cry again, and I will be to blame, nobody but I...
"Yes, yesssss....."
Her orgasm subsiding, Ingvild rested her hands on her knees. She was totally exhausted, catching her breath like mad. Raysa held out her hand under her nose.
"Nice, don't you think?"
Ingvild felt the heady, familiar smell of her own sex invade her nostrils. She tried to summon herself enough to make one last plea to Raysa.
"Please, don't tell Silje, it's going to kill her."
"I won't say a word about it. See, contrary to what you said five minutes ago, I'm not evil."
She gave Ingvild a cheeky grin and quickly left the room. Ingvild heard her shout from the stairs.
"Oh, and by the way, the bathroom is the second door to the right."
"Ingvild, are you in there?"
Silje's voice was accompanied by loud knocks on the door. Ingvild opened her eyes, finding herself sitting on the floor in a tiny bathroom. Slowly, it dawned on her. Oh god, I look a mess, she thought, as she stood up to see her face in the mirror. Like that really mattered now.
"Ingvild?"
"Just a... sec."
She washed her face, and wiped the toilet seat. I must have been really sick, she thought. She took another look in the mirror. She still looked completely miserable, but she just didn't care. It was all over now anyway. She opened the door.
"But Ingvild, what has happened, why..."
"Please can we just go home, Silje, please... no questions, just..."
"Of course we can." Again, the concern in her cousin's eyes, in her voice. There was nothing but love there. And this is the girl that I have betrayed, this wonderful, innocent girl who put all her trust in me. Betrayed...
"Hello, we're home!" Silje waved her hand in front of her friend. "Wake up!"
Ingvild looked around. She hadn't noticed. She must have been walking in a daze.
"Wanna take a shower?" Not waiting for an anwer from her disoriented cousin, the 18-year old was soon to add: "Actually it's not really a question, it's more like an order." She laughed. "Come here, Ingvild."
"Silje," Ingvild muttered, "I have..."
"Shhh. That can wait."
Ingvild felt Silje's hands tug her t-shirt.
"Raise your arms, please."
Ingvild let her friend remove her shirt, all the while looking at her with bewilderment. Next, she let her cousin unzip her jeans and pull them down. Finally her tiny panties followed.
"Take your time, but leave a little hot water for me," Silje smiled, and left the room.
In fact, Ingvild hardly used any heat at all. Streams of cold water cascading down her naked body, she began to regain her senses. She began to realise there was only one thing to do. Tell it all to Silje. Even though it would mean the end of everything.
Silje was right. The midnight sun was a real pain in the ass after a while. Tonight, Ingvild just wanted to let herself be swallowed by total darkness, to disappear. But the sunlight showed no mercy. Like it was employed by her conscience to keep her awake.
Carefully, she knocked on the door to Silje's bedroom.
"Just come in, Ingvild."
She sat down on her cousin's bed, facing away from Silje.
"Do you feel better now, Ingvild?"
That voice again. Nothing but concern. How could she not know? She had to know... something. But she didn't. That made it so much worse.
"But you're shaking." She felt Silje embrace her from behind. "Don't cry, Ingvild." A hand caressed her hair. "Look me in the eyes, Ingvild."
"I can't, Silje, I can't, you don't know."
"You can," she said, gently pulling Ingvild down so that she was lying with her back in Silje's lap. Ingvild looked up and saw straight into the brunette's eyes.
"You can't do this to me," Ingvild snuffed, as her friend continued cuddling her, stroking her hair, caressing her cheek with her warm fingers. "If you knew, you would hate me."
"I know all I need to know, Ingvild." Her voice was so calm, so unlike Ingvild's.
"You DON'T, you don't know that..."
"Ingvild, listen to me," the younger girl said. "You have been here for a month and a half now. There are still many things I don't know about you. I don't know everything you have done. Everybody does things they regret. But I do know enough about you to know that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a friend like you."
"But I haven't told you...-"
"Like I said, I already know all I need to know," she insisted. Suddenly, the expression in her eyes changed again. "Unless of course I am wrong... Unless we are not best friends..."
"You are my best friend, Silje."
"Unless you don't love me."
"I do love you, Silje, I love you more than anything."
"See, that's all I need to know. It's that simple."
Ingvild clutched Silje's hand, pressing it tightly against her cheek. The floodwave of emotions inside her became a floodwave of tears. She couldn't believe it... She used Silje's hand to dry the stream of tears, lettting it brush against her lips, her teeth. Somehow, the tip of her cousin's middle finger made contact with Ingvild's tongue. The blonde looked up at Silje, sensing no discomfort in the brunette's face. Ingvild closed her lips around the finger, extending her tongue to taste it. When Silje pushed her finger a little deeper inside her mouth, Ingvild responded by sucking it even further in, until the whole length of Silje's finger was engulfed by Ingvild's wet mouth. The blonde's breathing became heavier, and soft moans emanated from the back of her throat. Her eyes widening, she gazed as Silje removed her glistening finger from her mouth and put it inside her own, tasting Ingvild's saliva. It's like she's kissing me, Ingvild thought.
Ingvild was beyond any inhibitions. Too much had happened for that. Her head resting on the brunette's bare thigh, she brushed her nose and lips against her skin. Her skin smelt so fresh. She had to taste it, just had to! Her tongue emerged from between her beautiful lips, and flattened out against Silje's thigh, wetting it. She felt her cousin's hands on her head, stroking her hair...
"Yes, Ingvild, please.... What you do is so good, so good..."
Ingvild had her eyes closed, but a distinct, musky smell directed her northwards. When her tongue made contact with Silje's panties, she opened her eyes.
There it was. The folds of Silje's cunt, outlined in the material of her panties. Her slit. Ingvild couldn't believe she was so close. And the smell. Ingvild knew she would never need any religion. She had already experienced heaven.
Without removing the panties, the 20-year old pushed her face into Silje's crotch, inhaling her, nuzzling the teenager's pussy. She was almost afraid to pull the panties down, afraid that then she would wake up and find it was all just a dream. But it wasn't. When she lay her hands on Silje's hips and slowly removed the panties, the object of her fantasies came into view. Silje's pussy. She pulled back a little just to admire the view. Apart from the bikini line, her cousin didn't shave. She was so pretty. Her white, slightly tanned skin, the generous black bush... even her little dark brown anus, barely visible, hidden as it was between her ass cheeks, it looked so cute!...
Ingvild buried her nose in Silje's pubic hair, even licked a little there, she got some hairs in her mouth, but didn't mind. The blonde sucked her friend's clitoris into her mouth, her tongue playing with it. Her finger, seemingly having a mind of its own, had ventured between Silje's cheeks and searched out her little anus, gently probing her cousin's most intimate opening. She didn't know if that was the final trigger, but just seconds afterwards she heard the brunette moan with orgasmic delight.
"Yes, Ingvild, you're so good, yesssss....."
In a fraction of a second, Ingvild moved her tongue to Silje's vagina. It was soaking, an almost continuous stream of girl juice flowing from her cousin's fountain of love. It was Silje's gift to her, to her only, the essence of her femininity, her love. Loosing all sense sense of time and place, the blonde glued her tongue to the 18-year old's pussy, passionately lapping up all the wonderful liquids that flowed from Silje.
"Your face looks a mess again," Silje laughed. "You have me all over it!"
Ingvild licked around her lips, tasting her friend again, even catching a pubic hair that was stuck in Silje's tacky cunt juice.
"Does that mean you don't wanna kiss me?" Ingvild asked, trying to give her friend her best puppy-eyes look, though her eyes were a bit too narrow to quite get it right.
"Not exact-"
The last syllable was muffled as the two mouths met for the first time.
"You know, you're actually supposed to do this BEFORE the other stuff," Silje whispered.
"What other stuff?"
"The things you did down there."
"Down where?"
"Down... between my legs."
"You mean your pussy?"
"Yes, my... pussy."
It was so hot to hear that word escape from the younger girl's mouth!
"Well, I'm sorry, but you placed me there. I guess my tongue was just reaching for what part of you was within reach. But I promise never to do it again."
"Do you?"
"Not really..."
They kissed again, this time longer. When Raysa's tongue had entered her mouth just a few hours before, Ingvild could have sworn she'd never taste anything as wonderful again in her life. And yet, Silje's mouth, her tongue, her saliva, was ten, a hundred, a thousand times sweeter. If Raysa's mouth was like candy, then Silje's was pure honey.
They must have been making out for an hour, when Silje pulled herself away. Her amazing dark blue eyes looked deep into Ingvild's.
"We haven't just lost our minds, Ingvild?"
"I haven't," Ingvild was quick to reply. "For the first time in my life, I feel that everything's right. I have been places before, done things, and I said to myself, you should be happy, you should be enjoying this, but I wasn't. And then I blamed myself, thinking, who do you think YOU are, who's got everything and is still not satisfied. But when I met you, I realised I DIDN'T have everything back then. I had boyfriends, but there was something they never could give me. Meeting you, I knew what I'd missed was a true friend."
"We have gone beyond being just friends now, Ingvild."
"It's never been "just friends", Ingvild responded. "It only took us some time to realise our friendship also meant we wanted to be together, you know, physically."
"So am I your girlfriend now?"
"You are girlfriend, best friend, lover, soulmate, you're everything, Silje."
"Please, call me your girlfriend."
For some reason, this seemed very important to the teenager.
"No, I'm never going to call you that..."
The confusion in her friend's eyes almost had Ingvild burst out in laughter.
"...girlfriend!"
Silje's face lit up again in a millisecond. That was a smile to die for.
"Girlfriend," Ingvild smiled, "can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper?"
"Why?"
"I just wanted to write a letter to the editor of Encyclopedia Britannica, informing him or her that there are indeed eight wonders of the world, not seven as previously assumed. Somehow, they have left out the biggest miracle of them all... your smile."
"Oh, Ingvild." Now it was Silje's turn to cry, and cry she did. Fair enough, the blonde thought, I certainly did my share earlier tonight. She hugged her cousin tightly, comforting her.
"It's all too much for me, Ingvild, it's too much."
Ingvild had an idea what was on her girlfriend's mind.
"Listen Silje, I'm not playing games... if I ever broke your heart, I would hate myself for the rest of my life. I'm a very simple person, Silje, all it takes to make me happy is to see you smile."
Did Ingvild believe in her own words? It was true, she would hate herself if she ever wounded Silje's beautiful soul. But Ingvild also knew that people sometimes do things even though they know it's wrong. She had always believed she could be different, be stronger. But could she? What about the events earlier tonight...Raysa... Hadn't they proven that...
"Ingvild."
Silje's voice brought her back to the here and now.
"What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing."
"I simply do not believe that," her cousin maintained.
"Okay," she admitted, "something, then."
"That's better." And as her cousin's face shone up with her wonderful smile once again, Ingvild knew she had found the answer, the key; whenever she felt tempted to do anything that might hurt her girlfriend, she just had to see that smile. That would kill all seeds of destruction.
"Actually," Ingvild added, "I just realised that we're probably going to be together forever."
"Forever? How long is that?"
"Remember when we just made out for like ages?"
"Hmm-mm."
"Take that kiss and multiply by a thousand billion... and then a thousand billion more. That's forever."
"But is that restricted to just one type of kisses?" Silje looked mischiveously at Ingvild, sliding her hand under her friend's t-shirt. "There are many ways for two girls to kiss each other, you know."
"Oh, I forgot about that. Then we have to multiply it by another ten billion. Then... that's forever."
"Sounds good," Silje cooed, nuzzling between the blonde's breasts.
"Ingvild," she said.
"Hmm-mm."
"I just found out something too."
"What?"
"That you are still wearing both your T and your panties."
Gently, Silje's hand removed the two remaining garments from Ingvild's body. The two girls' lips met again as the brunette pressed her small breasts against the blonde's fuller breasts. Little by little, the teenager licked her way down Ingvild's body, making love to her neck, her breasts, her little belly-button. And then, when Silje's tongue reached its destination... just feeling her cousin's hot breath on her pussy was pure bliss for Ingvild. Just to KNOW it was Silje down there. And when contact was made... it was heaven.
Ingvild was certain she'd fall asleep first, but for some reason she was still awake when she looked at the alarm clock next to Silje's bed and saw it was four in the morning. Maybe she'd stayed awake just to watch her cousin sleep? She was so beautiful, lying there naked, her left arms around Ingvild. What does she dream about? Ingvild wondered, realising that there are still some parts of your soul that remains closed to other people, even to your girlfriend. Looking out, Ingvild started thinking about tomorrow. Just a few hours from now, she would actually wake up next to Silje, naked. What would that be like? Their first morning as girlfriends. How should I wake her up? Why not make her breakfast in bed? A nice salad, home-made bread and tea... maybe she could go out in the morning and pick some wild strawberries and serve her some lovely strawberry jam... oh no, she forgot, she was up north now, no strawberries....
"I was getting a bit worried," Silje laughed.
Ingvild had no idea what time it was. She looked out. That didn't make her any wiser.
"What time is it?"
"It's a quarter to seven."
"Why are you up this early?"
"Seven in the evening, silly. You've slept all through the day."
"Have I?"
"I think you needed it. But don't worry," Silje smiled. "We still have quite a lot of forever left." She brushed her fingertips against Ingvild's hand and kissed her softly on her lips.
Forever. Ingvild had always felt overwhelmed by that word, it would conjure up images of a giant, endless Universe, vast floods of time that would wipe away all traces of Ingvild's existence. It made her feel so tiny, so scared.
Funny, because knowing she had Silje beside her, it suddenly wasn't so scary anymore. What could the Universe do to her, she had Silje!
"Strange," Ingvild thought, clutching her girlfriend's hand a little tighter.
THE END
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