Disclaimer: The following piece of writing is that of pure fiction, and should not be taken seriously. The characters inside the story do not portray any real life celebrities or people, and if so are purely coincidental. The characters mentioned in the story living, dead or imaginary, should not, in the authors' intents, reflect upon anyone's personalities. If you are not of legal age in your city, town, state, province, country, world, universe, or any place of habitation, then you should not be reading this story!
Author's Note: This story is a collaboration between two authors, Leo and Scott, and we do use the first names of many celebrities, namely the band members of the Backstreet Boys and N Sync. However we have changes last name's, age's and ranks of ages within each group, etc etc etc. As to our knowledge this is the first time on the Nifty Archives that this kind of boy bands story has been tried, so bare with us. Also, after reading this story, please email either or the both of us at....
(Leo) ComicGuy22@aol.com
(Scott) Blue4Clue4@aol.com
Oh and if you are wondering why I am using the Nifty Author, Stu's, e-mail address is because I am his boyfriend, and he is the one mentioned in this story.
Instant Message: Part 1
Beep, beep, beep! That damn alarm clock of mine has definitely got to go. But then again so does the crap ass job of mine, working at Abercrombie and Fitch. Have to be there from seven in the morning, on a Saturday nonetheless, 'till two o'clock in the afternoon, the peak hours of getting things crunk on the weekends. But nooooo, I have to drag my ass out of bed at Six A.M., the ungodly hour when the sun is just peaking it's nice little head over the horizon. Anyway, I slam my hand down on the snooze button, before dozing off again. My rest, however, is once again disturbed, but this time a little bit more pleasantly, as my boyfriend, Stu, rolls over onto my back and kisses the back of my neck, along with wrapping his strong arms around my waist, I love it when he does that.
" Come on Justin, time to get up. Can't stay in bed all day long." he says, before dozing off as well. The snooze alarm goes off, this time actually waking me up, at six forty-five, and we both have to be at work in fifteen minutes! I quickly sit up in bed, look next to me and shake Stu awake.
" Shit Stu, we're gonna be late, get your ass up!" I yell at him, while shaking his hundred and fifty-two pound body like crazy. He groans and rolls over, facing away from me. Just so you all know, Stu also works at A&F with me, but he's the manager of the store, so I don't think that it would be all too good if he missed work, along with me, it'd seem really weird and down right obvious how I got my job. " Come on, it's quarter to seven already!"
" Alright, go get the shower going, I'll be in with you in a sec, ok?" he says, slowly sitting up. I shake my head, before getting out of bed, with absolutely nothing on, we had a little 'fun' last night if you know what I mean, wink wink. The two headed shower of ours comes to life as I turn the handles, adjusting to a nice and hot temperature. I cannot stand water that's anything but hot, it's just not right. I start to lather up as I hear Stu walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, and then hopping in the shower, yelling his usual complaint about the water being too hot. That's probably one of his funniest routines, the morning bitch ritual. Anyways, we're both in a rush, so I'm soaping all over my smooth, semi muscular body, kinda like jogger built, all the while Stu is washing my hair with this strawberry scented shampoo that smells so good when mixed with piping hot water. I quickly get all that out of my curly blond-brownish hair, then turn around so I can do my boyfriend's, who gets a little grabby as I turn, hey I can't blame him, it's not like I don't have a nice ass to grab.
" You know, it's not going to be so horrible if we're late. I'm the manager, I'm the one who fires people." he says as some shampoo gets in his eyes and he clamp them shut, making a hissing noise in pain.
" See what happens when you think like that." I say before finishing him off and shutting the water off, hopping out and grabbing some fluffy terrycloth towels. I toss one to Stu while drying off, looking at the bathroom clock, that I can't see for shit through 'cause the steam from the water fogged it up. So, I run back into the bedroom, towel barely on, and look at the one of the night stand, 7:05, fuck! Over to the dresser, where I pull open three drawers, throwing out my work shirt, a pair of Boss blue jeans, some midnight blue boxer briefs, and some socks, before sitting down on the bed, finally noticing that my towel had fallen off me. Stu comes into the room, towel on his head, soft penis and large sack dangling between his legs as he goes into the closet, pulling out all of his clothes... dress pants, shirt, tie, and some Old Navy boxers, blue flannel style. I bend down, fully clothed, to put my shoes on, as Kaos runs and jumps right at my feet, licking my face. I cringe at that, not that I hate it, it's just that I just got out of the shower, before pulling him up on the bed. Kaos is our.... well originally Stu's, but our seven month old black lab puppy, who's having a bit of a growing problem, 'cause he's still about the size of my foot... if not a bit larger. I get my shoes on, pick Kaos up and take him outside, where he can run around all day, 'cause the backyard is all fenced in, so he's not going anywhere. Stu meets me out in the kitchen, where he grabs his keys, gives me a kiss goodbye and gets in his Jeep, as I get in my Blazer and take off for the mall.
While I speed through the highway, passing all these old people driving twenty miles an hour, I think I'll tell you a bit about me. My name is Justin, one of the six siblings of the Jameston family of Clearwater, Tennessee. My brothers and sisters rank in age like this, Joshua who's 25, myself who's 20, Chris who's 17, Lance who's 15. Then there's my two sister's, Brittany and Christina, who are 14 and 11 respectively. Quite the clan, huh? My mother and father, who right now, at this point in my life, I'm not all that happy with, but their names are Joseph and Maryann, who, for some reason, everyone calls Mandy. Don't ask me how that is, 'cause I don't know, and I don't like my parents to begin with..... well maybe my mom, but certainly not my father, and I'll tell you why. All my life, that's all that my dad did was either beat me or yell at me. Seriously, he even did that to all my brothers, well, he was a little light on Chris, the 'jock' of the family... well he tries to be, but he absolutely sucks at any kind of game he plays. But none of this tops the moment when I came out to them, hell my mom didn't say anything, and my dad beat the shit out of me, then threw me, literally out of the house. That was the last time I ever spoke to him... I did talk to my mom, and still do, every other month that is. I was 17 when I came out to them, and after that I lived with Josh for a year, before coming out here to sunny Florida, the land that is infested with old people. I mean, there's so many senior citizens here that the state flag should be nothing but a steering wheel with two knuckles on it.
So I pull into the mall's parking lot, go into it, and get to the A&F store where I work, before Stu does, hehe, I beat him, I beat the boss to work! Behind the register, I check myself in the mirror I keep under the counter, before opening up the cash register, as Stu walks in, his tie completely off center, and shirt not even tucked in, hell at least I had time to make myself look decent.
" Lucky you got here earlier than the boss did, Justin." I heard my jack ass of a friend, Jeremey, say, before turning back to his counter. In all seriousness, Jer is a good friend, he goes to the University of Miami along with me, although he studies Architecture, not English Literature like I do. I'm telling you, if I have to read one more of Shakespeare's poems or plays, I'm going to scream. I mean, how many pieces of freakin' writing can one man write? Oh look, there's our first couple of the day to walk in together, a heterosexual one that is. You know, I'm glad that I like getting piledrived in the ass, 'cause seriously, I cannot stand women. Nothing can be simple for them, they can't do one thing at a time, they have to do six! And don't even forget about that deadly four letter word that they just love to see, SALE! If something's on sale, they'll buy it, it doesn't matter what the hell it is. It could be a left handed can opener, and she'd be right handed, yet she'll still buy it 'cause it's on sale. A man will buy something for two dollars, that's worth one, because he needs it. A woman will buy something that's worth two dollars, for one dollar, that she doesn't need, only 'cause it's on sale. That's one of the reasons why I have no time for the women in this world.
" Your total comes to one hundred fifty-seven dollars and thirty six cents." I say to the guy, as he opens his wallet, and hands me eight, twenties. I give him his change, and his girlfriend's clothes, three large bags, to him, and they head for the exit. " Whipped man walking!" I yell, as they walk out of the store and the guy gives me the finger.
" Justin, what have I told you about that? Stop harassing the customers." Stu says from the doorway of his office, a grin on his face.
" Sorry sir, but they already bought their stuff. It's not like they could give me it back and ask for their money." he just shakes his head and goes back in, sitting down behind his desk, and going back to working on his computer. So a couple of hours later, looking at my watch, seeing that it's 1:57, and that the guy on the next shift has walked in, I close the register, and walk into Stu's office, giving him a kiss and saying that I'll see him tonight.
" You gonna make dinner? Or is it pizza night for us?" I just shrug my shoulders before kissing him again, then leaving. As I go home, why not I tell you more about me. I'm about 5'7", 137 pounds, yeah I know I'm small, but I bet I could kick some of your asses! I like rock and pop music, detest rap and country. Favorite TV shows are "Seinfeld", "The Drew Carey Show", and "Whose Line is it Anyway". I've got green eyes, dirty blonde curly hair, that changed to platinum blonde on Stu and my recent trip to California, where I also got my navel pierced. One of the things that I love to do the most, next to singing, where I swear to god that I'm good, but for some reason Stu, and all of my friends think differently, is talk to people online. I hate to admit it, but I am an Internet junkie, can't get enough of it. Now I did say junkie, I didn't say nerd, ok? I have my normal circle of friends online, but I really enjoy talking to my online buddy, Brian, and his brothers. So, as normal, I get home, let Kaos inside, and turn my computer on.
Clumsily I roll over feeling my sweaty skin scrape over the sheets. I shake awake by the restless nights that plague my tired body. I rub my eyes slowly and quickly they adjust to the black of the room that surrounds me.
"Brian..you okay?" I hear a familiar and concerned voice whisper from the slightly ajar door. "I heard some rustling and I thought I'd check on you.."
"Yeah Kev, I'm fine, it was just a weird dream." I stutter back. He relented back into the hall and I redirect my gaze to the starry, moonlit night.
The truth is, my night sweats are back. The restlessness and listlessness..it's all back. The insomnia and the shortness of breath. And everything that sucked away my life before and the fear that would keep me from confronting it...
I shuffle into the bathroom and splash my face with cold water and seal the dripping tap. My eyes meet my own in the cold bathroom mirror, and I look away too ashamed to face the truth and to look myself in the eye. I open the medicine cabinet and am greeted by the clear brown bottles I am all too familiar with. I quickly down two pills and this sends me into the all too real conclusion--it's back and I have to face it.
I awake next feeling slightly refreshed and renewed, but the thoughts of my disease still lurk in the cool night. But today, well tonight, it's the big show. I'm a musician. Music is my passion, my love, the driving force that propels me through life, and tonight, I would share that passion with the world, or those who show up at the coffee house.
I open the refrigerator and catch a glimpse of a small, pale yellow post-it note equipped with the one phone number I was slowly trying to forget, or at least those attached to it. I avert my gaze and the thoughts of 'OJ or Milk' crash into my thoughts.
"G-O-O-D M-O-R-N-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!" shouted, well screeched AJ, he's just to damn chipper all the damn time. He repositions himself and his chin comes to rest on my shoulder. "So the ever present beverage decision, just make up your damn mind and get yo ass out the way!"
I am in such a mood, that his annoy tactics seem quite funny. I am in a place that I longed for somewhere immersed in the relief that only pure expression can cause. My music has always acted as a buffer to whatever is out of my control and then opens it up for more than a single mind, and maybe another will share my thoughts, my reason for reason. It's been a long time since I have found someone who understands me, and who lives a life like mine. The last time I had something that wonderful was almost two years ago, and these past two years have been spent trying to live each day without breaking down.
My exceptionally wonderful boyfriend Paul, he's more than wonderful, he's everything I have, and he has practically carried me through these past two years. If it wasn't for him, and my brothers, there is a good chance, that I wouldn't be alive. I have been dating him for almost two years, and I love him with every inch of my soul. I give him everything I have, every day, because his love is by far, one of the most important things in my life. I have never met anyone who fulfills everything I could ever ask for in a lover, a soul-mate, a friend and confidant, he's my everything. We share so much through each day, and each day brings something new to our relationship. We both gave each other our love, our hearts, and our virginity--something I say as a token of pure, and only true, L-O-V-E. Because to me, and to Paul also, sex is a beautiful and important aspect of relationship, and it's not something to do with anyone. As of late, however, we're kind of on rocky ground, because of some recent events which I may elaborate at a later date.
I manage to make my way back into the serene bliss of my room, my solitude, as to perfect whatever songs I was going to perform..Oh shit! I never picked out the songs!! I've always been a perfectionist, well at least when it comes to the acoustic wonder than escapes my being and floods the air with the noise I call the music to my ears. (I know cheap plug)
I scramble through my notebook--well, makeshift notebook--(a collection of poems, songs, tabs, riffs, drawings, words, pictures, catch phrases, and the memories that have made me who I am proud to be today.) I pick out the two songs that mustered the most feeling and emotion from me and would take an equal part of courage to perform. Only thing is, that these songs could either make or break the night. See, I could choke and completely fuck them up, which would butcher them any way you slice it, but I could pour all of the pent emotion that burned so deep inside me and belt these songs and play my guitar and just wow them...and then I decide that I know exactly what I have to do. I have to prove myself to my audience like I prove myself to everyone everyday of my life. But the pride that I discussed earlier wasn't always so bold, in fact, I've never been in a better place in my life than I am today.
So, I suppose I'll just begin at the beginning, as to confuse you less..or maybe more. My name is Brian, I'm 17 years old and I'm about 5'7" with blondish brownish hair, although currently it's RED!! Yes RED!! My boyfriend, Paul, and I went out and dyed our hair. His is bleached blond and he has blue tips. (It would make you melt...) I have six brothers and they are all my best friends. We were raised in a two bedroom little house (not on the prairie) and being in very close quarters you would think that we would be at each other's throats, but really, it brought us closer together because we were each other's support systems and still are to this day. My two older brothers, Kevin, 21, and AJ, 18, raised me. Our parents just left them to deal with both me and my twin brother, Nick, also 17. Then Howie's 13 and then two younger ones, Jake is 6 and Dan is about 6 weeks. In the house where we grew up, in our bedroom there were two sets of triple bunks, and recently a crib was added for Danny.
I don't get along with my parents at all, and we hardly speak, especially my father and I. Growing up, my father was both, physically and verbally abusive to all of us, and we all feared him and his strong hand. My mom is very subservient to my father as far as, not stepping in even as he made us bleed, gave us scars, and broke bones. It's like she still lived in the fifties or something and never thought to open her mouth, not once. I think we all resent her a little bit for this, but we can't completely blame my fathers's actions on her, in fact, we can't really do it all.
I came out to my parents when I was fifteen years old, and it was the most proud and sorry day of my life, all rolled into one. I had known that I was gay for about a year and that point, and was comfortable with it. I also had told all of my brothers, except the younger two (as Danny wasn't born yet) and they were completely supportive and were there for me just as they had always been. It was a breath of fresh air, because I think I feared their reactions a lot more than either of my parents'. I actually believe AJ's exact words were.."ok, so you want a cookie or something?" It made me laugh, and it acted to break the tension in the room. When I finally did tell my parents they reacted as I somehow knew that they would. My mom was silent and wouldn't even look at me, but my father had plenty to say. He called me every name in the book, and a few I think he just plain made up. He then beat the living shit out of me ( still have two scars, one on the back of my neck, and one on my left forearm), and booted me out of the house. I walked across town to where my brother Kevin was living at the time, and have been living there ever since. AJ has since moved in with us, and we've become incredibly close during this time.
Anyway, I spend my days working very hard giving my all to any situation in my life. I give my all in every aspect of each day, because I believe that for some reason the cards are against me, at least right now, so I have to work twice as hard as the next guy to get myself out in the mix and heard. This may seem very pessimistic, but to me, it's just life. In school I pull decent grades because I can't really afford college and I'm banking (and praying) that I land some kind of scholarship. I also work at a guitar shop were I fix 'em, sell 'em, stock 'em, clean em', and I teach lessons. The rest of my time is spent, eating, sleeping, hanging out, doing homework or chillin' with my good friend Dr. Burns, my oncologist.
I have also found, that recently, the Internet has interested me more and more. I'm kind of technology-phobic, if you will, and I've been trying to learn more about it, because that's the way the world's headed. I keep in touch with all of my distant cousins and some of the other relatives that will actually speak to their gay (ahh!! The damned taboo word) family member. I also have met some great friends, including someone who is always there for me, even if it is 3:00 in the morning and he has classes the next day. His name is Justin, and no matter what he says..he helps me more than he will ever know.
I sit slowly down on my bed and remove the acoustic guitar from its safekeeping underneath my bed. I squint my eyes at the paper with the lyrics and tabs and start to site read the songs that I haven't played or ever looked at since I wrote them.
"I'm out of control, I just need to get off this, Because it isn't worth it today, I pray, It won't be worth it tomorrow, Cut me open, see what you see, run from me, you'll find my disease, Let me bleed, drip between your fingertips, Why won't it go away? Take my life, have it, I'll be much happier once I'm gone, Watch my insides boil in the radiation, steadily simmer, Learn about whatever the hell, But please, move on I'm on my way, It's all poisoned and dirty, broken, destroyed me, I'm not hollow, inside out, This is me and my disease, I've turned my back on me, Laugh off your guilt, I promised I never would, And I'm so afraid that tomorrow will come, To take me away from today."
I sat back as the final chord faded into the air, and then decided that this song would be done as intended, with an electric guitar, amp turned up high, and all of this pent up aggression could finally escape my aching body. I again turn towards the notebook and flip through the pages determined to release the one poem I had hoped to never read again. However, it's become suddenly important for me to get all this off my chest, after all these years, it's time, I know it's time.
"Eye for an eye, Breath for a breath, What if he forgets to breathe? Stained hands imprint me, He cries tears of blood, Muttering a sweetness, Muffled restraints, the hollow, the undeniable emptiness, the unforgotten time, the day his soul melded with mine, The day his lips squeezed his final goodbye, And the tears well and the tears fell, As the ice slices through him, And finite time holds precedence, Mortality in control now, As his eyes glaze over and close, Steel doors slam shut on me, Cutting into my heart, Slicing me into pieces, Runover, and crash into the pavement, And only he can lift them, and fix them, and rebuild me, Eye for an eye, Breath for a breath, did he deserve death?"
I wipe the expected tears from my eyes and moist cheeks. And then, I breath a sigh of relief because the emotion has escaped me, and it can only be easier the next time. I find my left leg trembling beneath me, and I know that that next time is going to be coming far too soon. I beeline for the bathroom and wash off my face, and again catch a glimmer of the reflection as I walk out onto the cold wood. My bare feet guide me towards the computer where I begin to boot it up. I relax in the chair and lean back. As windows appears on the monitor screen, from the black, I direct the mouse towards the Internet and double click. I then look at the clock and it says quarter to three. As I am singing online, I silently hope that Justin is doing the same.
"Welcome......You've Got Mail!" That man, is so damn cheerful 24 fucking hours a day....but then again, it's not a real man, because if it was, that job would suck....
I glance at my buddy list to find that Justin indeed was online, so I quickly double-click his name..ComicGuy22...and up pops the IM Box.
Blue4Clue4: Hey hey!! Curly..what's UP??
ComicGuy22: hey hey Bri... hey, you stole my greeting
Blue4Clue4: that was most of the point
ComicGuy22: well... I kinda stole it from Krusty the Clown, so I think it's ok
ComicGuy22: lol
Blue4Clue4: so whatcha doing?
Blue4Clue4: i meant doing
ComicGuy22: lol, oh I'm not dong nuttin, just got back from work like ten minutes ago
Blue4Clue4: ah..the perils of A and F
ComicGuy22: yeah.. I swear the number of pimple faced teenagers who crawl into that store grows each day
Blue4Clue4: so..any SALES i should be aware of?..cause you know how much i love that store...
ComicGuy22: yeah right, you wouldn't use our clothes to wipe your ass with, let alone wear
ComicGuy22: lol, :op
Blue4Clue4: that me some mighty expensive toilet paper..lol
ComicGuy22: yup yup
ComicGuy22: better than triple ply toilet paper
ComicGuy22: and comes in a variety of colors and patterns! hehe, lol
Blue4Clue4: for 50,000 a square fucking inch..it better be
ComicGuy22: speaking of fucking... how've you and Paul been these days
ComicGuy22: lol
Blue4Clue4: one track mind...i swear
ComicGuy22: yup
Blue4Clue4: well..as far as fucking's concerned..we're not
ComicGuy22: thats a shame
ComicGuy22: :-P
Blue4Clue4: as far as working through our "issues" it's getting better..getting better all the time (and yes to the tune of the Philips commercial)
ComicGuy22: that's one commercial I don't need to see
ComicGuy22: lol
ComicGuy22: j/k
Blue4Clue4: DIRTY!!
Blue4Clue4: ok i got a good joke for you
ComicGuy22: whats that?
Blue4Clue4: where do you find a dog with no legs?
ComicGuy22: umm not sure
Blue4Clue4: right where you left it
ComicGuy22: lol
ComicGuy22: thats about as good as AJ's four gay guys walk into a bar joke
Blue4Clue4: yeah..that's pretty dirty
ComicGuy22: yet funny
ComicGuy22: lol
Blue4Clue4: yeah..he's got a pretty sick mind
ComicGuy22: tell me about it, lol, but anywho I get a kick out of him
ComicGuy22: him and his Larger Penis Theory
Blue4Clue4: no no..the Endowments of The Gay and Flaming theory
ComicGuy22: oh my bad
Blue4Clue4: that's right..lol
ComicGuy22: I didn't know I couldn't call it other than it's technical name, lol
Blue4Clue4: I suppose that's true....
Blue4Clue4: so did Nick send you those pictures?
ComicGuy22: yeah, lol, was looking for dirt on AJ... guess I got more than I bargained for
Blue4Clue4: so you've seen the full (or not so full) monty
Blue4Clue4: well..that's what he gets for being straight
ComicGuy22: to say the least
ComicGuy22: hehe
Blue4Clue4: so whatcha doing tonight?
ComicGuy22: nothing, just relaxing after Stu's and my round of nookie in the hot tub, that thing works wonders I tell you
ComicGuy22: has three nice settings of low, medium and who needs a man
Blue4Clue4: LOL.
Blue4Clue4: I need to get some..but tonight, I have a show.i'm so nervous
ComicGuy22: yeah I think AJ told me something about that, where are you playing again?
Blue4Clue4: this little coffee house a couple miles away
ComicGuy22: sweet... I like singing a lot... though I get booed off the stage at karioke night at this one club Stu and I go to every now and then
Blue4Clue4: yeah..i here from Jer that you have this complex about your singing
Blue4Clue4: so i'm not going to say a word
ComicGuy22: hey I'm a damn good singer, it's not my fault that they don't like the style I sing
Blue4Clue4: if you say so
ComicGuy22: I do!
Blue4Clue4: jeez...don't get your balls in a bunch
ComicGuy22: dude Chris had that happen to him once, don't even joke about that
ComicGuy22: lol
Blue4Clue4: do tell do tell
ComicGuy22: there's not much to tell, I mean, one day during basket ball practice, he didn't wear his jock like the coach said for him to do, and doesn't he do something so dumb as to try and slam dunk, next thing you know he's on the ground bawling his eyes out 'cause in fact he did get a minor case of twisted testicles
Blue4Clue4: ow!! damn..what dumb ass
ComicGuy22: lol, tack that to the list of bonehead moves he has pulled
ComicGuy22: lol
Blue4Clue4: yeah really
Blue4Clue4: Justin, man I gotta run, I'm going to go pick up Paul and then Jarred to come to the show tonight..I'll catch ya later man
ComicGuy22: yeah Bri, I've got to go to, and take Kaos to the vets... he needs his shots, though he doesn't like them
ComicGuy22: cya
Blue4Clue4: oh..pet the puppy for me!
Blue4Clue4: good luck with that
ComicGuy22: yeah really, bye
Blue4Clue4: bye
Leo and Scott's Final Thought:
Well, hope you enjoyed the first installment of Instant Message. There's more to come, and as always, please, FEEDBACK is so good. Email us at ComicGuy22@aol.com or Blue4Clue4@aol.com, and we'll try to respond to all of them. Thanks for reading and ya'll come back now..ya hear??