Interludes

Yes, it's another "Interlude". These are short stories that take place, in NO particular order, between the first two stories of my "Any Path" trilogy - "Any Path" and "No Painless Way". But they can stand alone. Thus far, they're all J.C./Justin-ish, but it's not likely things will get any hotter than that groping session in "Trust". :) These are generally angsty and sweet. A note - I'm starting to feel that the "Interludes" are too predictable, but I promise, I'll try to liven them up a bit. Thus far there's too much sleeping and guilt. :) If you'd like to read the in-progress "Any Path" trilogy, go here: www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/boy-bands/any-path Be warned - the story "Any Path" is mostly BSB, but "No Painless Way" is mostly 'Nsync. YAAY! DISCLAIMER: I'm finger-spelling the disclaimer at the computer monitor. If you can't see it, that's your deal. :) Um...I don't know or own 'Nsync, but I'm willing to trade my little sister. :)

DEDICATION: For Red, in hopes of cheering her up, and as a pitiful thank-you for the amazing stories.

~INTERLUDE: CONTROL~ 1/1 by DaraLynn

"To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic."

• Alphonse De Lamartine

"Thank you, Denver! We love you!"

Turning their backs to the deafening cheers, the five members of 'Nsync ran off-stage. Immediately they were surrounded by security and hustled outside. Once on the bus, the guys collapsed onto their bunks as they were taken the short distance to the hotel.

After a few minutes Chris sat up, grinning widely.

"Good one, guys."

Joey nodded. "Definitely. Even if we did have to start late 'cause Poo-Fu over there couldn't hit the hackey."

"Hey!" Lance protested. "What I lack in coordination I make up for in...um..."

"Albino-ness?" Chris suggested.

"Nah," said Joey. "To compensate for how often he misses the hackey-sack he'd have to be even paler than he is. If that's possible."

Lance pretended to be insulted.

"Oh yeah, Fatone? Come over here and say that to my face!"

"I will, soon as I can move."

Giggles echoed throughout the bus from four of the 'Nsyncers. Chris sighed in mock solemnity.

"Sounds like we're missing someone. Okay, roll-call. Chris? I'm here.

J.C.?"

"Present," J.C. called.

"Joey?"

"Here."

"Lance? Lance? Crap. Scoop's gone AWOL, guys."

"No he hasn't," Joey assured them. "I'm just trying to smother him with my pillow."

"Oh, okay. Justin?"

There was no reply. J.C. leaned over the edge of his bunk to see Justin's, and smiled at what he saw.

Chris continued. "Justin? Justin?"

Lance, who had by now escaped Joey, chuckled.

"Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?" he said in a dull monotone.

Joey and Chris laughed, but were quickly hushed by J.C.

"Sssh, guys, he's asleep. Awww. Isn't that adorable, the way he clutches the pillow?"

Three pairs of eyes rolled simultaneously. Although the other 'Nsyncers were fine with J.C. being gay, and felt sympathy for him being in love with his straight best friend, J.C. did have a tendency to get gushy when it came to Justin. To J.C., everything the teenager did was adorable.

Joey giggled. "Bet C wishes he were the pillow."

J.C. ignored him, still smiling at Justin.

"Listen...isn't that so cute?"

"What, J.C.?" asked Lance, patiently playing along.

"The way he breathes. It's so soft, yet of you really try you can hear it. It's almost musical."

Joey shook his head.

"Big Daddy, sometimes you frighten me," he said.

"Bandmate or potential stalker? You decide," joked Chris.

Once at the hotel, the bus parked in the the back near the special V.I.P. entrance, and the 'Nsyncers began the short walk to the door. J.C. lingered, still watching Justin, an affectionate smile on his lips.

The youngest singer had released his pillow, and was now laying peacefully on his back. From the window moonlight streamed in and illuminated the angelic features of the boy's face. J.C. ran his fingers through the short blond curls, not wanting to wake his best friend up.

Gently slipping his arms under Justin's back and knees, J.C. picked him up and carefully maneuvered outside.

"You want me to carry him, J.C.?"

"No thanks, Lonnie. I got him."

Justin's bodyguard nodded with acceptance and escorted them to the door, where the other members of 'Nsync were waiting. Chris smiled as J.C. approached.

"Didn't have the heart to wake him, huh? Damn, that kid is so spoiled!"

"I am not," Justin mumbled sleepily.

Joey led the way to the elevator while trying to keep Lance in a headlock.

"Yes you are. J.C. does everything except tie your shoelaces."

Lance tried to break free as he was gleefully dragged out of the elevator.

"Least some people know how to tie their shoelaces, Joey," he grumbled.

Justin giggled, now more awake and alert.

"Josh, you can put me down now."

J.C. smiled at him, and waved at their manager, Johnny Wright, who was waiting by their rooms. Lance, Joey and Chris all ran over to talk to him, but J.C. hung back. He had been walking slowly, not wanting to put Justin down.

"I don't mind. I like carrying you."

Justin hopped out of J.C.'s arms and hugged him. "I'll remember that."

Johnny was speaking. "Joey, could you let Lance out of that headlock? He doesn't seem too happy."

Once free, Lance stood up and began to straighten his mussed hair. "Thank you, Johnny."

"No problem. Now you boys get some sleep - you look exhausted."

Johnny looked over at Justin and J.C., still holding on to eachother, and a slight frown crossed his face.

"Um, J.C., can you hang out here for a minute? I need to talk to you."

"Uh...yeah, sure."

Justin, now fully awake, bounded into his and J.C.'s room like a playful puppy. "Ha ha, Josh! I get the shower first!"

As soon as the other four members of 'Nsync were in their rooms, J.C. looked expectantly (and a little nervously) at their manager.

"What's up, Johnny?"

Now Johnny seemed nervous. "I'll try and get to the point, C. It's about Justin."

J.C.'s eyes widened. "What? Is something wrong?"

"Not exactly. Well, sort of. It concerns your behavior with Justin."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Johnny sighed. "Look J.C., I know the story with you two. And I really admire how well you both deal with the situation. I also think it's great how close you two are, and that all physical contact between you doesn't make either of you uncomfortable."

"But..."

"But while you two being touchy-feely in private is fine, I have to ask you to not touch Justin so much in public."

J.C. frowned. "John, we're a tight group. We hug eachother and put our arms around eachother all the time, and nobody thinks it's weird."

"No, they don't. And probably they don't notice how frequently you and Justin smile at eachother, or how often you look at him during the ballads. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how you clutch him like a doll while going through large groups of fans..."

"Crowds scare him! And you know how grabby those little girls are."

"...those death-stares you give Carson Daly on 'TRL'..."

J.C. scowled. "I don't like the way he looks at Justin. It makes Just uncomfortable and it pisses me off."

"...when he was sitting on your lap at the fan conference..."

"Hey, every girl I talked to thought it was cute!"

"...last month when you called him 'baby' on VH1..."

"Nobody thought anything of it! 'The Baby' is one of his nicknames, the fans know that.

"...that TV interview where you were holding his hand up to the first commercial break..."

"I'm sorry, 'kay? I wasn't thinking. I get the message - hands off. I won't touch him so much in public."

Johnny sighed at J.C.'s obvious resentment.

"Look, C, I'm not saying this to upset you or anything. It's just...people *can't catch on to you, not now at least. A lot still depends on your seeming-availability to your fans. As your manager, I have to protect your image and interests. As your friend...God, I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be in unrequited love with your best friend. And I'm sorry for you, for what you guys have and don't have. Am I making sense here, C?"

J.C. smiled. "Actually, yeah. Thank you, Johnny. I know you're just trying to protect us."

"Got that right! Now go do what you do best - sleep. And remember - in private, I don't care what you do."

J.C. grinned. "Can you write down that last sentence and sign it? You know, so it's admissible in a court of law?"

Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Okay, I'm outta here. When you start channeling Chris, that's my cue to go." ------------------------------------------------------------------------

When J.C. went into his and Justin's room, his best friend was asleep. Before getting into the shower, J.C. stopped to smile at the sight of Justin curled up on his bed in a white T-shirt and baby blue boxers, one hand resting under the wet blond curls.

But when J.C. came out, having already changed into his own T-shirt and boxers, Justin was sitting Indian-style on his bed, tracing patterns on the quilt with his fingers.

"Hi, Just. How come you're awake?"

"Hey Josh. What took you so long in there?"

//In the bathroom? Well, I suddenly remembered that time when you were wearing nothing but a towel and our dear, crazy Chris yanked it off. Once that image got into my head a little...problem arose. And I do mean 'arose'.//

"I had to pee. So what are you doing up? Are you okay?"

"I wanted to know what Johnny was talking to you about."

J.C. sat facing Justin, and took his hands.

"Well, Johnny says I have to stop touching you so much in public. He's afraid people will get suspicious of me."

Justin laughed softly. J.C. was confused.

"What?"

"It's just weird. A lot of gay people have to hide relationships. But we have to hide a friendship."

"Not hide, really. Just kinda tone down in public. Um, Just...are you...okay with me touching you?"

Justin frowned. "What? Josh, you're the one who always lectured me about what to do if someone touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. Nothing you do does."

J.C. smiled with relief. "And if it ever does..."

"I'll tell you."

"Thank you, angel." J.C. ruffled the damp curls.

"Should I feel uncomfortable, Josh? I mean, I don't sit on my other friends' laps, or have them hold me while I sleep. But...I like what we have. It makes me feel loved. Safe."

J.C.'s fingers entwined with Justin's.

"With me, you are. I just wanted to be sure that you don't let me treat you like that at your own expense."

The blond giggled. "No way. You'd kill me if I did that. So, since there's no cameras here, can I have a hug?"

"What a question!"

Justin pulled back after a few moments. He seemed to be shivering, though the room was warm.

"You okay, hon? Are you cold? You want the heat up?"

The boy smiled at his friend's protective concern.

"I'm okay. Just chills, I guess."

J.C. sat leaning against the headboard of his bed, his legs stretched out over the blankets, and opened his arms.

"Come here."

Justin sat down between his best friend's legs and lay back, his back against J.C.'s chest. The curly blond head rested on the older man's shoulder, and strong arms enfolded Justin. The seventeen-year-old relaxed as J.C.'s body heat warmed him, and he closed his tired eyes, half-asleep already.

"That better, Curly?"

"Mmm-hmm."

Justin sighed sleepily, placing his hands over J.C.'s. Attempting to get more comfortable, he wiggled a little, shifting position slightly. As he did, his butt rubbed against J.C.'s crotch. Both Justin's and J.C.'s boxers were thin, merely two layers of cotton separating them, just like Justin's sexuality did. J.C. scarcely had time to frown at the thought when...

//No. Not now, dammit, please not now!//

But the one of the few parts of J.C. not ruled by logic wasn't deterred by his protests. It continued to harden as Justin, nearly asleep and oblivious to what was happening, unwittingly pressed his butt against it as he shifted. Every nerve in J.C.'s body was screaming with passion, but his panicked mind yelled louder.

//FUCK! I gotta do something before he notices...//

Willing away sudden dizziness, J.C. gently shook Justin. The teenager's head turned, and soulful blue eyes blinked at him sleepily.

"Josh?"

"Angel, I need you to wake up for a sec...I just gotta go take a leak, 'kay?"

J.C. tried to shrink back from Justin, desperate to hide his 'problem'. Justin giggled and pulled away, turning around.

"Sheesh, Josh, how much water did you drink at rehearsal? You just went bef-"

Justin froze where he sat across from his friend, suddenly mute. His cheeks flushed slightly as he observed his similarly-motionless best friend, who somehow was managing to blush and look pale at the same time.

Justin saw the thick swelling that strained the cloth of J.C.'s boxers, and his eyes dropped. J.C. looked at Justin helplessly, and tried to keep himself from stammering.

"Oh God...um...I...damn. I'll, um, I'll be right back, okay?"

Justin nodded wordlessly, without looking up.

J.C. walked to the bathroom, deliberately keeping his pace slow and calm. Once inside, he shut the door and sank down onto the tiles. After a moment, he stood up.

//Fuck. Dammit, Chasez! You can't even hold your best friend without getting turned on! Way to make him uncomfortable!//

J.C. rested his head against the cool surface of the sink, leaning down to avoid his reflection in the mirror. He was stunned.

J.C. had pretty good control over his body when he needed to. When he was alone, thinking of Justin even just smiling at him could get J.C. aroused. Yet he had held Justin countless times in his arms or on his lap without this happening. There was a line that divided friendship and attraction, and while in Justin and J.C.'s case the line was a little vague, it had to be there. This barrier, and J.C.'s fear of losing his angel, kept their relationship from hurting either of them.

J.C. moaned. Maybe he hadn't crossed that line, but damned if he hadn't just been walking it like a tightrope. The young man wanted to beat himself up more, but he needed to talk to Justin, to somehow remedy this.

J.C. sighed, and got to work taking care of his little 'problem'. -----------------------------------------------------------------------

J.C.'s stride to Justin's bed, where the teenager sat, was meant to be purposeful but seemed more hesitant. He sat beside the keeper of his heart and gazed at the young blond silently, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.

Finally Justin met his stare, looking even younger and more fragile than he was.

"I'm sorry, Josh."

"What? Just...you didn't do anything."

Justin pouted, his chin trembling. "I caused it. I teased you."

J.C. placed his hands on Justin's shoulders, looking straight into the mournful expression.

//Why does he take upon him guilt that isn't his?//

"Hon, listen to me, please. This was an accident. My accident. I lost control for a second. You did nothing, nothing wrong. You do not tease me."

"But I caused...you know. Didn't I?"

"Baby, we're always open with eachother. You know how I feel about you.

That love amazes me everyday, 'cause I never thought I'd feel anything so strong."

Justin wanted to frown at the guilt he felt, but, for Josh, he smiled.

"Physical attraction is one part of that, and sometimes it...affects me physically. But it's never happened while I was so close to you...Just, I'm really sorry. You're not mad?"

"Of course not. You didn't scare me, Josh. I just feel bad. I know you don't want me to, but I do."

Justin looked down at his lap, near tears. J.C. lifted the boy's face, his hands cupping it gently.

"Angel, look at me."

"I am."

"No, into my eyes, so you know what I'm about to say is true."

Justin gazed into the reflective orbs, thinking vaguely about how nice they were.

He smiled. J.C. could always make him smile.

"Justin, you mean more to me than anything. And I know you love me too.

There's another part to my love which you can't return, but that's all right. Maybe I feel it enough for both of us. Please, don't ever think that your love for me as a best friend isn't enough. Sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps me going."

Eyes shining with tears, Justin put his arms around J.C.'s neck and edged closer to him. He softly kissed the older singer's cheek before climbing onto J.C.'s lap.

Smiling, J.C. curled one arm around Justin's waist and with the other hand stroked the damp blond hair. The youngest 'Nsyncer rested his head on J.C.'s shoulder and allowed himself to be rocked.

"I guess, in that, we're even. I don't know what I'd do without you, Josh."

"You'll never know, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere."

Justin snuggled closer, and J.C. felt a beautiful warmth in his heart glow at the touch of his best friend. Just his best friend.

In the silence broken only by Justin's soft, even breathing, J.C. remembered Johnny's stumbling, but well-meaning words.

~"I'm sorry for you, for what you guys have and don't have."~

Justin shifted a little in J.C.'s embrace, but there was no discomfort now. Only love, and trust.

"I'm not."

~FIN~

Is it just me, or these all turning out the same? Hmm. Well, I promise variety soon! Even though the guys don't get nearly enough rest, in my opinion, I'm making them sleep too much. :) Well, feedback is NOT necessary for me to keep sending these, and anyways you should be spending that time reading all the amazing fic at this archive. :) But if you really wanna... Comments and questions to DaraLynn_writings@hotmail.com