This is a true story without apologies!
I had been corresponding with Alex through email for several months. We were close in age, had similar beliefs, were both teachers, and both enjoyed life. After several months I began to feel that our relationship couldn't go much farther without meeting in person. So I suggested that we meet at his home-a five-hour drive from mine. After planning the date, the anticipation of seeing each other face to face sparked renewed vigor in our correspondence. This would be my first such kind of relationship; and the mystery of it had me tingling!
The drive down to his place seemed endless. Alex had given me very specific directions so there was certainly no gamble involved in finding the way. The only gamble was in my mind, which now seemed to be racing as fast as the road that whizzed by under me. Worse yet, with each passing mile, what had been a titillating anticipation was now growing into ominous clouds of doubt.
What was I doing? I had only talked with him up to this point. Now I was going to spend a night at his place and drive back home the next day. Was that crazy or what? All that driving, and what if he was ugly, weird, or his place was messy and uninhabitable? He was a bachelor and I am a perfectionist. What if we didn't hit it off and it ruined the special intimacy we did have in being able to write to each other whatever was on our minds and hearts?
Over the past several months we had shared the struggles that we both encountered from being attracted to the same sex, but yet unable to ever express that in our very closed communities. Both of us lived in somewhat rural situations where our thoughts and actions, and wanna-be lifestyle would be totally out of the question. So, my coming to visit-would that create problems for him in his community! What if it blew his cover? What if this was a BIG mistake?
After making the final turn on to the small road leading to his lane, those five hours worth of clouds quickly dissipated as I turned down a lovely lane leading to his cottage by the sea. What a feast for a tired traveler's eyes-a long, straight, sloping drive that seemed to drop right into the sea, lined on either side with luscious green fir trees standing along the half-mile lane like a reception line. Only until you drive almost into the sea is Alex's cottage visible on the left. And there he was! With a warm, hearty smile, and a golf cap cocked on his stately brow, he looked for all the world like the Lord of a Scottish castle. Instantly every ounce of doubt melted into a mist that beckoned me to explore beyond what the eye could see.
As I unfolded myself from the car, he walked up and without hesitation gave me a huge, bear hug-cheek to cheek! Can you imagine the fireworks that went off in my brain! But as quickly as he hugged, that quickly he released me, gathered my bags and led me indoors.
His home-how many times I had tried to imagine what it was like. Beautiful antiques everywhere. Everything was arranged so tastefully, yet masculine. Nothing fussy, but everything was pleasing to the eye with lots of indoor plants. He showed me to his guest room that, too, was tastefully decorated with an ample queen-sized bed and its own bathroom. All the while he chatted and joked so easily that in minutes I felt like I had been with him for years.
There was time enough for a good beer before a spaghetti supper, and so we sat in two armchairs facing each other and the sea. That's when we began to really share our stories, our hurts, our joys, and our challenges-only in person now. What a difference there was between hearing his story via email and now hearing it with the backdrop of his dancing eyes, glistening smile, and comfortable laugh. Before we knew it, night had fallen and we could no longer see the sea, and my stomach was growling loudly.
Into the kitchen we both went as if we had done this all our lives. Alex was more comfortable, I think, because he had been in a relationship before. I had not. And he has a wonderful way of putting you at ease, and so I easily fell into the rhythm of preparing the mean, and enjoyed being near someone that was quickly becoming more than just a pen pal!
Then the gun went off! No, not just a gun, a cannon! While I was stirring the boiling spaghetti, he turned and hugged me, grabbing my butt with his free hand. I exploded! It was as if the world stopped to listen to the sound of my pounding heart. And instantly I responded with a solid kiss on his lips-so soft and warm, so responsive, and his moustache sent me tingling sky high! But then, just like when he greeted me at the car, he pulled back quickly, and we resumed cooking as if nothing had happened.
My mind was reeling from the delight, yet racing again with questions and doubt. Had we stepped over a line that would jeopardize our relationship? Were we supposed to be physical? Where would that lead? Would there be more? How could something be so wonderful as a loving by the oven? Was that the last?
Our meal was delicious, and the conversation continued to be delectable, as well. Dishes were cleaned up, and we watched the evening news together. I was sitting on the same couch with Alex! I pinched myself! Yes, it was true! Then the phone rang. It was a friend, and Alex began to chat as if I didn't exist. Of course, I couldn't exist! So feeling as if I wasn't there, I leaned over next to him and began to play with his arm. Oh, how beautiful, strong, tanned, and the softest hair so smooth and silky to touch. But as soon as the phone's receiver was replaced, we sat apart again, seeing the TV screen but watching each other, and sharing as though the Mississippi River had to be emptied that night!
However, as rich and wonderful as the sharing was, I knew I had a long drive and day ahead of me. Unwillingly I took the initiative to say, "I need to go to bed." Alex agreed. It was late.
"But, Alex, you've been such a great host, and since I'm an expert at massage, how would you like a quick back rub before we part?"
"Hey, that would be great!" he responded without hesitation. "I was cutting trees and brush all day today, and a massage sounds too good to be true!"
In less than five minutes, there I was kneeling beside this awesome body! I started, as I usually do, with his head, massaging the scalp and temples. His hair, though salt and pepper, was as soft as corn silk. His huge, broad shoulders made a V-line to his waste. I worked on him I could feel that he had cut more than one day's worth of trees and brush.
His neck was strong and its sinews taunt. I worked hard to loosen and relax his shoulders and upper back. Soon I could feel the tension melting away under my pulsing fingers. Down his spine I rubbed, massaging his kidneys and lower back. Down his powerful thighs and calf muscles, so round and defined, you would think he was a runner.
As I kneaded and manipulated his legs, working on the inner thighs, he yielded to my every move, relaxed and reveling in my increasingly sensuous movements. Should I? Yes, and as if in one motion my fingers slipped under the waistband of his boxers and off they came without the slightest resistance. His small, tight butt yielded to my prodding and kneading. Seeing this beautiful naked body enjoying my manhandling filled me with such exhilaration that I noticed my own masculinity was beginning to grow.
"Alex?" I said softly. Don't fall asleep yet! Turn over and I'll finish you off."
With the smile of deep satisfaction, he rolled onto his back. And if I had been exhilarated before from relishing his back, I was in absolute ecstasy now as his total masculinity lay gloriously before me waiting for my touch. His chest was strong and square with dark, soft hair that worked its way down his abdomen ending in a full growth around his exquisite jewels! My fingers and hands worked their magic from his chest down over his abs, around the jewels and over those massive legs, ending with each foot and toe.
On my return journey up his legs I noticed that his masculinity had grown as well-so full, so perfectly formed. As I began to effleurage from his chest to his feet, lightly touching everything but his jewels in scintillating movements. As I passed by his jewels I blew my breath gently over his tool, and he moaned with delight. Should I? Yes! And without losing the rhythm of the effleurage I slipped out of my own boxers.
Voila! Both of us were naked, open, free. And I glided over Alex, lying carefully on top of him, our tools meeting for the first time with such electricity that they both pulsated with desire. His strong arms embraced me as the years of wondering what a man's love felt like passed into oblivion. Our lips molded together. I tasted the sweetness of his tongue, sucking it, rolling it against mine, dodging and darting in and out of his warm, welcoming mouth.
The feeling of being skin to skin, mouth to mouth, and tool to tool was inexplicable. We hugged, we rolled-over and under, beside-entwining ourselves with each other. Neither of us dared to touch the other's jewels for fear of an explosion that would end this marvelous dream. Fondling, caressing, massaging, feeling, loving each other for several hours, we lost track of time.
"Alex, we need to sleep."
"I know," he whispered. "I'll go now."
"No!" I protested, pulling him close. "I only have one night. Please stay. I want to sleep next to you. I want you to be near me for at least one whole night. Love can touch us one time, but it has to last for a lifetime."
And so for what was left of the moonlight, we tried to sleep, only to waken after an hour or so to continue loving, touching, delving deep within the emotions that only a man to a man can fathom.
With the light of morning came the "tolling of the bell" that signaled our parting. I showered and dressed like a zombie, not from lack of sleep, but from the prospects of having to leave the most incredible experience of my whole life. I had been to the candy store and was only allowed to buy one piece! Now I had to leave not knowing if I would ever come back. Would this ever be repeated-or could it ever be repeated? It was too wonderful, too perfect, and too surreal.
As I drove those long, long miles back home in my car, my emotions opted to take the roller coaster-sobbing for the loss, weeping for the joy just passed, anger that life was so cruel, laughing at the exuberance of tasting Alex's wild and wonder-filled being. Now every night in my dreams, I see him. I feel him. Far across the distance between us, he comes to me so that I know that the best is yet to come!
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