Intimate Stranger 6
By Diana
Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to finish this! It IS the grand finale, after all... Yes, this is the last chapter of "Intimate Stranger". I hope you've all enjoyed the ride as much as I have! Here's a question I'd like my readers to answer: Do you want to see a sequel? I've started working on one, but I don't want to push my luck. After all, you know what they say about sequels... In any case, if the ending seems a little anticlimactic, that's why. I'm pretty much depending on your feedback to make this decision. If you want to see this storyline continue, e-mail me and say so. If you think the story should end now, e-mail me and say so! Your opinion counts! A note for the legally impaired: There are two songs featured in this installment. The first is "Never Be The Same Again", from Melanie C's album "Northern Star". The song features Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes. The second song is "When The Heartache Is Over", from Tina Turner's newest album "Twenty-Four Seven".
Justin was awake. Just like that. Long gone were the days of lazing about in bed, slowly getting used to the idea that he wasn't asleep anymore. That was the old Justin Timberlake, the one who had used sleep as an escape. When Jack came into his life, Justin had sworn never to oversleep again. No more running.
His cheek was pressed against something warm, something that rose and fell with even breaths. A chin was resting against his head; a familiar feeling, one he had almost forgotten.
Josh.
Justin felt his body go taut. What was he doing? Every moment he stayed, he was further betraying Jack. He had to let go, he had to go... but he couldn't. He didn't want to. It just felt too good. The tang of JC's sweat, the strong arm wrapped protectively around his shoulders, the steady rhythm of his heart under Justin's fingertips...
"'Morning, Curly."
Hearing JC's soft voice rumbling up from his chest brought the memories of last night rushing back, and Justin moved at last, sitting up and rubbing the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes.
There was a rustling beside him, and he could feel JC's body pressed against his back. "You all right?" he asked compassionately, hands coming up to gently massage Justin's neck.
Despite himself, Justin surrendered to the sensations JC was provoking, leaning back against his best friend.
"Josh... I..."
"Shh... You don't have to say anything."
Without warning, JC's hands suddenly wrapped around Justin's throat, squeezing his windpipe. The younger teen let out a surprised scream as JC forced him down onto the mattress.
"Don't say a fucking THING, you two-timing slut!" JC snarled inhumanly, climbing onto Justin's stomach. His face was contorted with a hideous rage, and his lips were pulled back, teeth gnashed together.
Justin's heart was pounding in his ears as he dug his fingers into JC's hands, trying in vain to loosen the stranglehold. His legs were kicking out in desperation, but JC's only response was to put more pressure on his best friend's throat.
The blonde teen tried to scream again, but there was no more air left in his lungs. With the last of his strength, he reached up and weakly clawed at JC's face.
Like something out of a horror movie, his best friend's features ripped away like a cheap plastic mask, revealing Jack Matthews in demonic anger. His eyes were gone, replaced with empty sockets that were colder and deeper than space.
At the sight of his murderous lover, Justin suddenly felt a fresh surge of air rush into him. Opening his mouth, he
screamed as hard as he could, lurching up in bed and swinging blindly.
His fists met only air. As his panicked blue eyes shot open, he realized he was alone. In his bed. No Jack. The clock read 10:32 AM.
"Justin?!" JC called, his voice seemingly a thousand miles away. A few seconds later, he burst into the room, dripping wet from head to toe, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Soap bubbles were slowly running down his left arm.
"Are you all right?" he asked, stepping into the room. Justin was trembling, his face tear-streaked and sweaty, knuckles almost white from clutching the blanket. JC started to go over to the bed, but Justin held a hand up to keep his friend at a distance.
"I'm fine." There was a tremor in Justin's voice, but he was trying so hard to keep it under control that JC kept quiet. "Really, I'm fine. It was just a stupid nightmare." He took a deep breath and got out of bed. His T-shirt and boxers, both white, were all but transparent now, and they clung tightly to his body, outlining his trim form.
The two stared at each other for a bizarre moment. JC felt weird just openly "checking Justin out", but now that his attraction to his best friend had finally come to the forefriend, he found he could do nothing else. He was transfixed by this blond angel standing there, sweaty and out-of-breath. JC had never seen a more arousing sight in his life.
Justin couldn't take his eyes off the soap suds that were slowly sliding down JC's chest. He imagined what it would be like, to softly caress that strong torso with his own hands. Justin shifted slightly, fully aware of the tenting in his boxers. And as if that wasn't embarrassing enough, with the state his clothes were in, JC had no trouble at all figuring out what was going on in Justin's pants.
And yet, somehow Justin didn't mind as much as he used to. Back in the early days of N'Sync, the thought of even giving JC cause to suspect would paralyze him with fear.
But things were different now, Justin reminded himself. JC loved him, WANTED him, and that changed everything. And in a way, it made Justin feel even worse.
Before JC, Justin had always believed his family to be the one constant in his life, the one thing he could always count on. And he'd lost that, as his parents split up and married others, content with living their own lives. Lynn had Paul, Randall had Lisa and two sons. Where did that leave Justin? Utterly and totally alone.
Then Joshua Chasez had come into his life. All the things Justin needed at that time in his life was right there: JC could be responsible and worrisome like a father, protective like a big brother, and yet he could just as easily slip into the role of best friend and confidant. How could Justin do anything BUT fall in love with him?
And now here they were, years later. So much had changed... and yet some things had stayed the same between them.
As cliche as it sounded, only time would tell if the important things had survived.
Justin came out of his trance first and gestured to JC's towel. "You'd better finish up your shower." he said awkwardly.
JC nodded. "Yeah, I guess..." He paused, and suddenly gave Justin a bright smile. "You wanna join me?"
The blonde blinked, positive he had misheard. "Huh?"
"You could use a warm shower." JC held out his hand. "There's plenty of water. We can share."
"I... um..." Justin rubbed the back of his neck nervously. JC kept surprising him, and he was starting to hate being caught flatfooted. Finally, he gathered his resolve. He wasn't ready, and that's all there was to it.
"I don't think so."
JC seemed nonplussed by Justin's answer. Either he didn't think Justin was serious, or he just didn't care. "Oh, come on!" he urged, coming closer. "I won't bite. Unless you want me to." He raised an eyebrow roguishly.
Justin lowered his head, sighing softly. "Whatever." he muttered, sounding utterly defeated. He started to pull his shirt off, but JC stopped him. The older teen was disgusted with himself. He'd vowed to restore his best friend, but the ends didn't always justify the means. Justin was very confused and distraught, and JC was pressuring him. He'd end up doing more damage than Jack.
"Just..." JC bent down just a bit to look into Justin's eyes. "You really don't want to?"
Justin shook his head quietly, and JC nodded. "All right. I understand." He took Justin's chin and raised it slightly. "It's okay, Curly. Really. Nothing's going to happen unless you want it to." He backed away, shivering as a slight breeze swept through the room.
"I'll go finish my shower." he said, heading for the door. "See you downstairs in a few?"
Justin didn't answer, just turned away and looked out the window.
Without another moment's hesitation, JC walked out of the room, feeling like he'd just suffered his first setback. The first of many.
Breakfast for six was on the table when Joey, Chris, Britney and JC walked into the kitchen. The former two were giving Britney a wide berth; since her luggage had been sent directly to Miami, and her managers hadn't been informed of her stop in Orlando, she'd been stranded without sleepwear. Lynn had given her an oversized sweatshirt, but while it was modest enough, it rode high on her legs. Unable to deny that Britney Spears was a VERY desirable young woman, none of the three men could resist stealing glances at the tanned, shapely limbs.
JC walked over to the refrigerator and pulled a bottle of water out. As he shut the door, he noticed a piece of paper stuck to it. Pulling it off, JC read the message scrawled on it and frowned.
"Listen to this, guys." he announced incredulously. "'Dear Justin, thought you might want to spend some time alone with Joshua. Will be back tonight. Love, Mom.'" JC crumpled the note and threw it into the trash can. "Good idea, Lynn. Wouldn't want you sticking around and actually HELPING your kid for once."
"That's not fair." Britney put her hands on her hips. "She IS trying to help."
JC shook his head. "Some help. Ditching Justin when he needs her the most."
"Hey!" The female pop star poked JC in the shoulder. "Where's all this coming from? Why are you so mad at Lynn?"
"I just... dammit, Britney, there has to be a reason!" JC ran a hand through his hair. "I know Justin! He's not naive! He'd know better than to get involved with a nutcase like Jack Matthews! And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense!" He pounded his fist on the table. "First Lynn sticks to him like glue and doesn't let him live his life. And just when he starts to really depend on her, she abandons him! No WONDER he's a wreck!"
"And what about you?" Lance suddenly asked, taking everyone by surprise as he walked into the kitchen with his arms crossed. "You're as much to blame for this situation as Lynn is. Maybe she isn't doing the right thing, but at least she's making an effort. You've known Justin for YEARS. If you weren't so self-absorbed, you would have figured it out a long time ago."
JC's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe Lance of all people was saying these things.
"Look, we're all a little strung-out." Chris interjected, ever the voice of reason. "Let's just calm down..."
"No!" Lance pointed at Chris. "You knew, didn't you, Chris? Wasn't it so fucking OBVIOUS?!"
To JC's astonishment, Chris lowered his gaze to the floor.
"Britney?" Lance turned to her expectantly. Justin's ex-girlfriend. Who could know more about his feelings?
Britney bit her lip, glanced at JC as if seeking guidance, and then nodded.
"Joey?"
Again, an almost-apologetic nod.
"Everyone in this room knew how Justin felt about you." Lance finally faced JC again, jade eyes burning. "Everyone except his so-called best friend. And you're talking about KNOWING him? You were CLUELESS until Justin walked out on us!"
JC's eyes narrowed. "Whose side are you on, Lance?"
"Hold on a minute!" Chris stood between them, practically biting back a shout. "There aren't any SIDES here!"
"The side I'm always on." Lance replied, staring past Chris to JC. "MY side."
"What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?" JC demanded. But before Lance could answer, a series of slow thumps from upstairs heralded Justin's arrival. Everyone immediately fell silent as he entered. He looked brand-new; all the scars and bruises had faded away. The physical ones, at least.
"Well, the man of the house is here." Chris grinned after first shooting a warning glare at JC and Lance. "Let's eat!"
The six quickly pulled chairs into position around the table. Justin quietly sat down next to JC, who smiled widely. It was no show; Justin could always make JC smile, just by being there.
"So... did everyone sleep well last night?" Joey prompted.
A few murmurs of "Yeah" and "Sure" were his only response. Clearly, small talk was out of the question.
As the members of N'Sync and Britney began to eat, JC gently took Justin's hand in his, an action he immediately regretted. At the older teen's touch, Justin reflexively jerked his arm away, knocking over his glass and spilling juice on the floor.
Without pausing to look at JC, Justin quickly rose and left the room. Once he was gone, JC groaned in agitation and rested his head in his hands.
Britney leaned in at that moment. "Well?" she whispered quickly. "What's the plan?"
"Plan?" JC echoed in confusion.
"I've got to be in Miami tonight." Britney reminded him. "If you've got any ideas that include me, you'd better get moving."
"I just..." JC shrugged helplessly. "All I know is we have to make Justin remember that he was happier before Jack showed up."
At that moment, Justin returned, holding a handful of paper towels. Britney and JC quickly straightened up and resumed their meal. Justin knelt and wiped the floor clean, then deposited the towels in the sink.
"How 'bout we go to Universal Studios?" Britney suggested. It was one of Justin's favorite "hang-out" places... or at least it had been once.
"Yeah." JC looked at Justin hopefully. "You wanna go?"
Justin didn't look away from the sink. "Sure." he said in a monotone.
"Great!" Britney clapped her hands and jumped to her feet. "I'm gonna go change."
Joey pouted. "Do you have to?" Britney smacked him on the arm with a playful grin and ran up the stairs.
Chris, Joey and Lance had climbed into Britney's car with her as the six left the Harliss residence. The sentiment was clear: Justin and JC needed to spend as much time alone together as possible.
Unfortunately for JC, he still hadn't grasped how careful he had to be around his friend. When they went for Justin's car and the blonde pulled his keys out, JC immediately grabbed them with a grin and dove into the driver's seat. It wasn't until he saw Justin's angry expression that he realized he had basically snatched Justin's seat without asking. Even though they'd done this a hundred times before, fighting over seats in the limo or whatever, it was different now. Now it was like he was making Justin's decisions for him. And Justin clearly didn't like it.
JC was finding his mission harder than he expected. He wasn't used to walking on eggshells around his best friend. They'd been so close once, so open with each other, and now JC had to double-check everything he did or else he'd end up hurting Justin. Again.
But he stepped on the pedal and drove on, because there was nothing else he could do yet.
As Universal grew larger in the distance, they suddenly reached a stoplight. The car slowed to a halt, and JC cleared his throat nervously, turning to Justin.
"I was thinking... After we're done with Universal, we could head down to Miami, see Britney work the crowd. It's been a while since I saw her in action."
"That'd be nice." Justin murmured nonchalantly, looking out the window.
"And we wouldn't have to come right back, you know... I mean, we could book a room somewhere, spend the night and then drive back in the morning?" JC was babbling, and he didn't even know it. "Or we could just go back to your mom's house... I mean, as long as she's gone we might as well make the most of it, right? Not that I'd take advantage of you or anything, but we could fix some drinks and just chill out, and maybe..."
"Hmm?" Justin suddenly turned to JC, cloudy-eyed. He hadn't heard a word JC said.
JC suddenly felt the urge to grab Justin by the shoulders and shake him. He felt like he was talking to himself. Justin wasn't even listening, he was just going along with everything JC said. Submitting himself to JC's will.
The older teen felt like banging his head against the steering wheel. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was taking charge, just assuming that Justin would go along with anything he said. Instead of helping Justin forget his abusive, controlling boyfriend, JC was probably just making the situation worse.
"You know what? Fuck all of that." he said decisively, turning back to the road as the light changed.
"What?" Justin's voice was still low and far-away, but he had definitely heard that last line.
"This is your day, Curly." JC explained. "What do YOU want to do?"
Justin blinked a few times, unsure of how to answer. Jack had never asked him that... he had always seemed to KNOW, and after a while Justin had just stopped thinking about his wants. Jack would already know.
So what DID Justin Timberlake want?
Slowly, the teen began to smile.
If it was just luck or some higher power guiding them, JC would never know.
Everything seemed to just click into place for them when they reached Universal Studios. The sun was shining, and it was indeed a beautiful day. Strangely, there weren't many people around, so the chances of being mobbed were practically nil. And even Justin had remembered to bring his wallet this time and pay for his own pass. Another small step towards independence. With any luck, Justin would soon be strong enough to stand on his own again.
As it turned out, Justin had really wanted to be at Universal. He was still very skittish, clearly not used to being "in control"... but just hanging out with his closest friends was definitely affecting him. He genuinely seemed to be enjoying the day. Britney had led them through the complex; she had an uncanny talent for predicting which areas would provide the most fun. And as they followed her lead, they stopped being "N'Sync" and "Britney Spears", but rather six good friends having a good time.
And slowly, the real Justin was starting to shine through. Most people would perhaps be unable to tell the difference, but JC knew. He could FEEL his best friend pulling himself out of the shell he'd been entombed in. It was a miraculous thing, like watching a phoenix rise from its own ashes. And it filled JC's heart with hope.
Maybe there was still hope after all.
Ristorante Italia was mostly empty when the group dropped in for lunch. As they sat down, with Justin opposite JC, the older teen said: "Hey, Just?" Justin looked at him expectantly.
"I just... um..." JC tapped his fingers on the table nervously. "Look, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. We're all just having lunch. Nothing's happening. Okay?"
The blonde nodded in agreement.
"LET'S EAT ALREADY!" Joey suddenly howled, startling Britney and Chris. Several other customers looked up in alarm, and Joey grinned sheepishly, raising his hands in a "So sue me!" gesture.
The food arrived a few minutes later, and they ate in silence. Though they all tried, no one could really broach the obvious subject at hand.
Surprisingly enough, Justin broke the silence. "Brit, do you have a pen on you?"
Raising an eyebrow at the peculiar request, Britney pulled a small pen out of her jeans pocket and handed it to her ex-boyfriend. Justin took his napkin, pressed it to the table and scribbled something on it. When Joey tried to peek, Justin casually lay his free hand on top of the pen, obscuring his friend's view.
A few moments later, he was done. Turning a neutral gaze to JC, Justin passed the napkin to him. JC, more than a little confused, took it and silently read the two words Justin had written.
-Something's happening.-
Eyes widening in surprise, JC looked up at Justin and found the teen staring at him with just a slight hint of a blush, with just a slight sparkle in his eyes.
JC smiled at him. Justin smiled back.
Outside, the sun began to set.
After a visit at the Soft Serve Shoppe, Britney and the members of N'Sync were on their way to the parking lot. Britney giggled aloud as Chris regaled Britney with a recap of Joey's most recent date (which had been a disaster from start to finish).
Taking up the rear were Justin and JC. Since they left the restaurant, some unknown barrier between the two had been broken. They were holding hands now, and occasionally one would shoot the other a completely lovestruck gaze.
Something was indeed happening.
With a mischeivous grin, JC suddenly tapped Justin on the nose with his ice cream cone. At the look of sputtering astonishment on his best friend's face, JC broke into a fit of laughter.
"Josh!" Justin groaned. "My nose is cold!"
Still smiling, JC dove in. "Here, let me get that for you." he teased, licking the ice cream off.
Inexplicably, the warmth between them suddenly disappeared. JC felt his throat constrict as Justin pulled away, all mirth and amusement gone from his eyes. Turning around, the blonde jogged ahead, catching up with Britney and Chris.
Struggling against the urge to just scream out his frustration, JC followed his friends to the parking lot. What was he doing wrong?
"So I guess this is it." Britney sighed as they reached their vehicles. "It's weird... I'm hyped about Miami and all, but a part of me wishes I didn't have to go."
"That's understandable." Chris winked at her. "We'll keep you posted."
"Britney..." Justin took her hands in his and smiled. "I'll never forget what you did for me." He sighed slightly. "I know things didn't end well for us, but I'll always love you. Thank you." He leaned in and pecked her on the lips. She smiled beatifically and hugged him tightly.
"Take care of him." she whispered, indicating JC as she released him. At last, Britney turned to Lance, Chris and Joey.
"Could you three take me to the airport?" she asked in a "baby girl" voice, batting her eyelashes.
"Anything for a pretty lady." Joey took an exaggerated bow and opened the driver's door for her. "Especially when it's her car."
The four climbed into Britney's car. Waving one last time at JC and Justin, the "Princess of Pop" started up her car and drove away.
Leaving Justin and JC alone.
"She's incredible." Justin breathed.
JC smiled. "Yeah." He stood close to Justin and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Justin looked up at him, so breathtakingly beautiful that JC couldn't resist moving in for a kiss.
"Josh... no..." Justin whispered, raising his hands to gently push JC away.
JC ran a hand through his hair. "I don't understand, Justin. Why are you shutting me out? I thought... I mean, I thought we were..."
"I can't, Josh." the curly-haired teen rubbed the bridge of his nose. "God, I want to... you have no idea. But it's too much. Too fast. I don't know what I want... I don't know if we're ready." He shook his head. "I just want to go home."
Unwilling to let Justin see his own pain, JC merely nodded and turned away. He understood all too well what Justin meant; things were going out of control. It was like they were both caught in a wave that was forcing them forward, sweeping them on their way without their consent.
The difference was, JC could go with the flow when he had to. Justin had, over time, come to denounce that. He hated doing things because circumstances forced him to.
Justin got into the car. Driver's seat this time. In control.
Muttering a prayer to whoever might be listening, JC followed his friend into the vehicle, feeling more and more desolate with every moment.
For the first time since realizing his feelings for Justin, Joshua Chasez contemplated defeat.
"You think he took Just back to the house?" Chris asked from the front passenger's seat.
Britney shrugged. "Maybe. They looked so happy together... God, I hope they work things out." She sighed. "I'm gonna be such a mess. How am I supposed to think about singing when... I mean, what if this wasn't enough? What if Justin goes back to Jack again?"
"That'll never happen." Joey reassured her. "Justin would NEVER choose that weirdo over JC. Right, Lance?"
When Lance didn't answer, Chris frowned and looked in the rearview mirror. Lance was leaning back against the back seat, looking out the window. He'd been like this all day: distant, removed, detached.
For a moment, an ugly possibility sprung into Chris' mind. He and Joey were liberal enough to accept that their two lead singers were doing the touchy-feely thing with each other. But homosexuality had always been a sensitive issue with Lance. He had never openly declared his undying hatred for fags or anything like that, but on the other hand, he didn't exactly seem too fond of the concept. Chris had always been afraid to just ask, because once Lance said the words, he'd never be able to take them back.
But the time had finally come. The issue couldn't be avoided anymore, especially if JC and Justin really DID get together.
"Lance?"
Green eyes locked onto his gaze. They felt ice-cold, not angry and yet so shockingly bitter and indifferent.
"Um..." Chris bit his lower lip and went for broke. "Are you okay with what's going on? With Justin and JC?"
Lance blinked a few times, like he didn't understand the question. Then he shrugged. "As long as they don't fuck in my room, I'll live."
An ambiguous answer. Not what Chris was looking for. "Lance..." he began, but Lance cut him off.
"Look, I can deal." He took a deep breath. "I just need time to sort things out, that's all."
"With any luck, we'll have PLENTY of time to get used to it." Joey remarked. "If those two get it on, it'll be for good."
"And if they don't?" Lance asked.
"They will." Britney stated firmly, keeping her eyes on the road ahead. "They have to."
As absurd as it seemed, Justin was afraid of entering his own home. His heart was thumping wildly, like it wanted to burst free from his chest and bounce down the street.
And it was all because of JC. His best friend, his One. They were together at last... weren't they? No, Justin knew better. He could never be that lucky. Something would happen, something HAD to happen. Fate would never let him be trly happy. After all, hadn't he spent his teenage years longing for the one thing he thought he couldn't have? And hadn't that secret desire proven all-too-possible in the end? Years wasted on a love that could have been reciprocated.
That was why he was keeping JC at arm's length. God, he wanted to just give in... but Justin was cursed. His family, the center of his universe, had splintered during his childhood. He had used Britney, someone he cared about very much, and ended up hurting her deeply. His first boyfriend, who Justin loved with all his heart, had turned out to be a rapist and an abuser.
In the face of all this, Justin was practically certain that if he gave in to his desire, he would lose JC. And he couldn't. If he lost Josh, he'd lose himself.
But still, he couldn't deny that it was tempting to just toss away all his worries and go through with it. He had a chance here, a chance to have sex with Joshua Chasez. A one-night stand, perhaps, but it would be the best sex of his life, simply because it was with JC. And the future could wait until tomorrow.
But Justin disregarded that thought. He supposed that in the right situation he could have meaningless sex with any interested and attractive men. But if he was going to sleep with JC, it had to be for real. He wouldn't be able to accept anything less.
JC unlocked the front door and walked into the living room, followed closely by Justin. Everything looked the same, but Justin could see phantoms of himself and JC everywhere. Necking on the couch. Writhing on the floor. Grinding against each other on the staircase. The possibilities were endless and nonexistent at the same time.
"Something on your mind, Curly?" JC asked, pulling Justin out of his reverie.
"No." he replied curtly.
JC sighed. "Justin... if you want to say something, say it. I'm not Jack. I won't punish you for thinking for yourself."
Justin took a deep breath. His confusion was turning into anger now, and JC had all but given him permission to vent. So vent he would.
"Do you know what it was like for me, Josh?" he asked quietly. "From the beginning, you were all I ever wanted. I never loved anyone but you." He shuddered slightly. "It was hell, Josh. It hurt all the time, and all I did was hope and dream and wait because I was too scared to do anything else. I could never face losing you."
"Justin..." JC stepped closer, gently stroking Justin's face. "Nothing could ever come between us."
"You don't know that." Justin was shaking slightly. "You don't know that if things go too far we'll still be able to look at each other in the morning."
JC took Justin's hand and pressed it against his chest. "You know what my heart says, Justin?" he asked. "It says I'll never stop loving you. Even if we end up ripping each other apart, I'll still love that little kid from the MMC."
The younger teen shook his head sadly. "He's gone, Josh. I'll never be that kid again, you know that."
"That's not true." JC shot back. "He's here, Curly. He's always been here, I can feel it. You just have to let him out."
Tears slid down Justin's face. In a barely audible voice, he whispered: "I'm scared, Josh. I'm so scared..."
"I know." JC replied. Taking Justin's hand, he led his best friend to the stairs.
It was time.
Justin barely recognized his own room when they entered it. It had been transformed: the lights were out, and the room was illuminated by a handful of candles on the desk. The flames cast long and warped shadows everywhere, and gave the walls an orange tinge. A bottle of champagne lay in an icy bucket at the foot of the bed.
As Justin walked towards his bed in a daze, he noticed a large patch of red on his bedcovers. Running his hand over the mattress, he smiled faintly when he realized the sheets had been covered with rose petals. Justin never knew JC was such a romantic. Was that a good sign?
"Justin?"
The teen turned back to the door to see JC close it and slowly slip his shirt off. His pulse immediately picked up the pace, and he unconsciously swallowed hard. JC was standing there half-naked, and his uncertainty was almost palpable. But there was only love in his eyes.
"I know we're moving too fast, Curly. I always thought we'd have all the time in the world. But we don't." He took a small step towards Justin. "A couple of days ago, I realized something I'd known all along. I love you. And I need to be with you... because I can't be without you anymore."
He came closer and lay a hand on Justin's shoulder, looking into his crystal-blue eyes. "Do you want this to happen, Justin?" he breathed, sending a shudder through Justin's body.
"I... I don't know." Justin replied, just as softly. "It'll change everything, Josh. What if it doesn't work?"
"What if it DOES work?" JC caressed Justin's cheek. "What if it turns out to be good? Change isn't always for the worse, you know." JC inhaled deeply. "Okay, I have an idea." He moved his thumb over Justin's lips. "Let's take it slow and see what happens."
They looked into each other's eyes, waiting for the other to make the first move. JC had resolved to make no more advances. This was as far as he could go. What came next was completely up to Justin.
The blonde's mind was awhirl with conflicting emotions as JC waited. He remembered something Christina had told him a long time ago: the first kiss was always about passion, about physical desire and lust. The second kiss was for logic, for emotion.
For love.
Standing on his toes, Justin pressed his lips to JC's in a gentle exchange. There was no tongue action, no blank-minded passion... this kiss was pure. This kiss was the promise of love, the vow that they would always belong to each other, no matter what.
All of Justin's fears evaporated at that moment. Despite what Jack had done with him, and TO him, JC was still his only love. It was and would always be JC, and he had been a fool to resist it.
A strange calm descended on them as they brought their arms up to embrace each other. The kiss deepened, became hungrier. There was no more hesitation, no more fear. They knew what they had to do.
Justin broke away for a moment and pulled his T-shirt up over his head. Their mouths met again in a series of quick, urgent kisses as they slowly moved towards the bed. JC's hands lowered to Justin's waist and frantically began undoing the snaps on his jeans.
Finally, they reached the bed. Not pausing for a moment, they both plummeted onto it, bodies tangled together, holding each other for dear life. They rolled around on the rose petals, and JC's leg hit the nightstand. The radio fell to the floor, beeped and began to play a song as Justin straddled JC's waist.
"I call you up whenever things go wrong
You're always there, you are my shoulder to cry on
I can't believe it took me quite so long
To take the forbidden step
Is this something that I might regret?"
Justin grinned like a predator as he leaned over his helpless prey. Pinning JC's wrists to the headboard, Justin savaged his mouth, letting their tongues meet in an erotic duel. Unconsciously (or not), he started grinding against JC's clothed bulge, causing the older teen to moan loudly. They gave themselves willingly, knowing that nothing would ever be more right than this.
"(Come on, come on)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
(You are the one)
A lonely heart that can't be tamed
(Come on, come on)
I'm hoping that you feel the same
This is something that I can't forget..."
JC abruptly sat up, causing Justin to wrap his legs around the older teen's waist. As they sat there, staring at each other and panting for breath, JC ran his hands down Justin's throat and chest.
"Make love to me, Justin." he panted desperately. "Now."
"I thought that we would just be friends
Things will never be the same again
It's just the beginning, it's not the end
Things will never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never, never be the same again
Never be the same again..."
Justin suddenly paused nervously. In his fantasies, he had always been the submissive one, the one who let his best friend take him any way he wanted. He didn't know if he was even capable of reversing roles.
"You want me to..." He couldn't even finish the sentence. It seemed so unthinkable! Fucking Josh?! Absurd!
JC nodded breathlessly. "I want you to be my first."
Justin couldn't help the shock that statement brought. His eyes grew large. "Your WHAT?!"
With a charming grin, JC kissed him again. "I guess I've been waiting for you." Leaning back, he pulled a small tube of white cream out from under one of the pillows. "It's all right." he whispered. "I trust you."
Pressing the tube into Justin's hand, JC lay down on his back and pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles.
"Now I know that we were close before
I'm glad I realized I need you so much more
And I don't care what everyone will say
It's about you and me
And we'll never be the same again..."
Justin had seen JC naked many times before, but this was different. This time he could look without hiding, without feeling afraid. This time JC WANTED him to look.
He was gorgeous. His chest and arms were smooth and muscled, and Justin ran a hand across the satiny skin. It was hard and soft at the same time, a delightful contradiction. Just like he'd always imagined.
"I thought that we would just be friends (oh yeah)
Things will never be the same again
It's just the beginning, it's not the end (We've only just begun)
Things will never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never, never be the same again
Never be the same again..."
Backing up so that he was sitting on one of JC's thighs, Justin tentatively drew his hand lower, down JC's lean stomach to the erection stretching up at him. It wasn't abnormally large or thick... the words "just right" came to mind as Justin contemplated it.
Justin caressed JC's body greedily, lovingly. He had waited years for this moment, and now he would have it. His eyes glittered with desire as JC's chest heaved, slick with sweat. They had finally come full circle: Now JC was the nervous one, unsure of what was to come, whereas Justin was confident. This was HIS game, and he knew how to play.
As Left-Eye rapped in the background about feelings kept well-hidden and things that were meant to be, Justin gave his best friend a sexy, smoldering grin and lowered his head between JC's thighs, swallowing as much of the straining rod as he could.
JC gave a strangled cry at the sudden sensation and arched off the mattress. Justin was frightened for a moment, until he remembered that JC had never experienced a blowjob before.
Sure enough, after the initial sensation, JC sank back into the bed, groaning loudly as Justin worked on his manhood with a vengeance. The younger teen was by no means an experienced cocksucker, but Jack
(why are you thinking about him now)
had taught him well. In a matter of minutes, JC was at the brink of an orgasm. Releasing the pulsing organ from his mouth, Justin eased back and slipped his own pants off.
"Oh God..." JC panted, completely out of breath. "Justin... that was..." He pulled himself up and kissed Justin ferally before attacking his neck, licking and biting ferociously. Justin gasped with pleasure, making tiny whimpering noises that made JC want him even more.
"Do it, Curly." JC growled, knowing nothing but the need to feel his best friend filling him.
With a cry of desire, Justin grabbed JC's sturdy shoulders and roughly shoved onto his back.
"I thought that we would just be friends
Things will never be the same again
It's just the beginning it's not the end
Things will never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never, never be the same again..."
With quaking fingers, Justin opened the tube of lubricant and squeezed some of the substance onto his palm. He massaged it into his cock and drew himself up onto his knees, taking deep breaths. This was it.
Carefully pressing the head of his cock against JC's hole, Justin closed his eyes and thrust forward gently. A warm, tight heat immediately enveloped his cockhead, sending a rush of sweet fire through his body. He slowly pushed deeper into JC, feeling his best friend's attempts to bite back the pain. Justin sympathized; his first time with Jack had felt like being reamed out with a hoe handle.
Finally, Justin's cock was completely ensheathed in JC. He paused for a moment, unable to believe it was actually happening. He was having sex with JC, the man of his dreams. In this moment, nothing else mattered. Just them.
"(Come on, come on)
Things will never be the same again
(You are the one)
Never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Never be the same again
It's not a secret anymore
Never be the same again..."
JC was taking short, shallow breaths. He felt like he was being stretched open, and it definitely hurt. But with the pain came pleasure, a pleasure that was so deep and primal that it eclipsed everything else.
As Justin ventured a hesitant stroke, delving deeper into his best friend's body, JC groaned deeply. He'd never felt anything like this, had never imagined that having sex with another guy would feel so good and so bad at the same time. His whole body was tingling.
Reaching up, JC locked his arms around Justin's neck and pulled himself up. Positioning himself so that his legs were twined around Justin's waist, JC positioned himself over his younger friend's cock and let it slide into him again.
They began to rock together in unison. The bedsprings creaked as JC's hands trailed down Justin's back, digging into the soft flesh as the blonde's thrusts became faster and stronger, more urgent. But Justin was beyond pain now, beyond remorse. The ecstasy of their lovemaking was driving them higher and higher, their cries growing louder by the second, until finally the world around them exploded into a supernova of bright light, sweeping them both into oblivion. For that single perfect moment, they stopped breathing, stopped moving, stopped EXISTING as two separate people and were one.
Justin bellowed out his release, his hips spasming uncontrollably as he shot his load inside JC. Justin fell backwards onto the rose petals, gasping for breath.
Still perched atop Justin's waist, JC's body suddenly snapped forward with powerful force. Screaming out Justin's name, he climaxed, seed splashing onto Justin's stomach. As the tremendous force of his orgasm faded, JC crashed onto the mattress beside Justin, completely exhausted.
For a while they lay together, panting deeply and staring up at the ceiling. Then, mustering the last of his strength, Justin rolled over and hoisted himself up slightly. JC looked at him, tears of joy in his eyes.
"I... love you..." he whispered.
A slow smile spread on Justin's face. "I love you too, Josh." he replied, crawling upwards and touching his lips to JC's. It was a simple kiss, but the most meaningful one they'd ever shared. Because if the first kiss was passion and the second was emotion, then this third, this gentle reassurance, was truth. And the truth had set them free. What had just happened was more than sex, beyond a really good fuck. They had made love. Finally, after all the waiting and wanting, their dreams had come true. They would never be as content.
"I love you too." the blonde teen repeated, laying his head down on JC's chest. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep in the safest place he had ever known.
"Never be the same again...
Never be the same again...
Never be the same again...
Never be the same again..."
EPILOGUE
Strange, how different things seemed now. How a single act could completely and utterly change a person's perspective. The place hadn't changed since he'd left it, but now it seemed foreboding, a lair of darkness.
He could do this. He had to. He was strong. He was going to do the right thing.
He walked up to the front door and knocked. A part of him wasn't completely sure he could handle this; that was the part that clung stubbornly to the past, to the illusion of happiness he had lived in. But the truth was it had to be this way.
The door swung open, and Jack was standing there, thumb in his mouth. To Justin's surprise, the surge of emotion he'd anticipated at the sight of his abusive boyfriend didn't come. He felt nothing.
"Justin!" Jack lunged forward, grabbing Justin and pulling him into a close hug. "I was worried, where have you been?"
"Out." Justin squirmed out of Jack's embrace and walked into the apartment.
Jack was clearly taken aback by Justin's lack of enthusiasm. "I'm... I'm glad you're back. I really missed you."
"I'm sure you did." Justin headed for the bedroom, and Jack felt his heartbeat start to accelerate. He'd truly missed Justin in Montreal. While he'd decided against visiting that crackpot psychologist in the end (he'd just get blamed for the whole thing, as if part of it wasn't Justin's fault), he felt much calmer than he had in months. He could control his anger now, he knew it.
"So... don't you want to hear about my trip?" He rubbed his hands nervously. What was Justin planning?
"Not really." Justin returned to the living room, holding a suitcase in his hands. Jack cocked his head in surprise. Justin with a suitcase? Why would he be holding a suitcase?
An impossible thought then occurred to the older man. He shook it off for a moment, but as Justin stared at him defiantly, he felt insecurity creep up on him.
"What are you doing?" he finally asked, completely dumbfounded.
"Isn't it obvious?" Justin raised the suitcase slightly. "I'm leaving. We're through."
"W-what?!" Jack stammered, black eyes widening in horror. "But... why?!"
"You want a list?" Justin retorted. "You hit me! You put me through a window! You raped me!"
"But... I didn't mean it! I love you!" Jack shouted desperately, unable to believe this was happening. Not now, not when he'd finally gotten everything under control!
"Bullshit!" Justin spat. "You don't LOVE me, you abused me! And I won't let you hurt me ever again!"
He turned away from Jack and headed for the door, but Jack grabbed his boyfriend's arm, roughly pulling Justin to him.
Justin's reaction was immediate. Dropping the suitcase on the floor, he spun around and punched Jack squarely in the jaw. Jack fell to the ground, a hand pressed to his cheek, paralyzed in absolute horror. Justin wondered if that was how HE had looked after Jack first hit him, all those lifetimes ago.
The dark-haired man rose to his feet, eyes burning. "I won't let you walk out on me." he hissed.
"What're you gonna do about it, Jack?" a new voice suddenly interrupted. Jack turned his gaze to the door and saw JC leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded.
"You..." Jack growled. "You did this to him!"
"No, Jack." Justin shook his head sadly. "YOU did it to me. Remember? The beatings, the terrorizing? It was all you." He picked up his suitcase. "It's over. I'm outta here."
As Justin walked out the door, JC followed, laying an arm over his new lover's shoulder.
Jack remained in the living room, shaking with rage, staring at the now-empty doorway with watery eyes.
"It's NOT over..." he whispered, fists clenching and unclenching rapidly. "It's not over till I say it's over..."
"How do you feel?" JC asked as they drove away. He lay a hand on Justin's thigh as the younger teen grinned widely.
"Good." he replied, leaning forward and turning on the radio. He rested back in his seat and placed his hand over JC's. "You know, Josh, I have a feeling everything's gonna be okay from now on."
"Amen to that." JC took Justin's hand and kissed it while keeping his eyes on the road.
At that moment, a new song came on, and Justin cranked up the volume as they drove off into their new life together.
"Once in a lifetime you find
Someone to show you the way
Someone to make your decisions
And I let you lead me astray
Who did you think you were fooling
Said you were missing me blind
But the truth is I knew you were lying
You were using me time after time
When the heartache is over
I know I won't be missing you
Won't look over my shoulder
'Cause I know that I can live without you
Oh, live without you... I can live without you
Time to move on with my life now
Leaving the past all behind
I can make my own decisions
It was only a matter of time
Sometimes I look back in anger
Thinking about all the pain
But I know that I'm stronger without you
And that I'll never need you again
When the heartache is over
I know I won't be missing you
Won't look over my shoulder
'Cause I know that I can live without you
Oh, live without you... I can live without you
When the heartache is over
I know I won't be missing you
Won't look over my shoulder
'Cause I know that I can live without you, oh
When the heartache is over
I know I won't be missing you (no, no)
Won't look over my shoulder
'Cause I know that I can live without you
Yeah...
I can live without you
Oh, I can live without you
Live without you
I can live without you..."
The End
Afterword: Well, that's a wrap! Was it good for you? grin But don't worry, folks, I'll be back! Since I'm an incorrigible tease when it comes to writing, here's a preview of some I'm working on. Nothing's final, these are just some options I'm toying with.
-
"Crash and Burn" - A bloodbath seems imminent when N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys agree to collaborate for a special charity event. Sure enough, the two bands are quickly caught up in a web of treachery and deceit: JC and Nick Carter start a tenuous relationship, one that is put in serious danger when Justin Timberlake and Brian Littrell put their jaded past behind them and team up to separate their best friends. The ego war between AJ McLean and Joey Fatone takes a surprising twist when AJ asks his arch-enemy to help stop Kevin Richardson from getting married.
-
"Sibling Rivalry" - 98 Degrees starts to fall apart when a friendly competition between Drew and Nick Lachey turns into an all-out war, with Jeff Timmons as the intended prize.
-
"Intimate Stranger II: Kidnapped" - Justin and JC may have moved on with their lives, but Jack Matthews hasn't. Tragedy strikes when he decides to win Justin back... at any cost.