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A disclaimer: This story is fictional. Some of the things that happened or will happen to Mikael and Nick. Parts of the characters are fictional as well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just coincidental. This is a gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex, but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to read such material, you have been warned.
I hope you're enjoying it and that the story draws you in wanting more. If you have any suggestions or concerns, do not hesitate to email me at harryscotthayden@outlook.com. Thoughts and suggestion are always welcome and may or may not be implemented. Concerns will be considered and addressed as much as possible.
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It Has Always Been You 19 – Cloud Nine
What a day, what a night, what a freaking time it had been. Mikael was feeling over the top at the moment. Vivid memories of the love making with Nick lingered on his mind for the longest time. To feel, to touch, to caress, to kiss and to taste Nick's body aroused him every freaking time, when he came to think about it. He was always boning, mesmerized by Nick's delicate naked body. And for a day, he couldn't remember how many times he had masturbated. How many gallons of his semen had he wasted on his hands?
He never, ever liked it, he loved it. He never, ever needed it, he wanted it. And when he got it, it was an explanatory feeling for him. The kiss was wonderful, the touches were seductive, the body exploration was sultry and when he had Nick inside of him, he felt like he was on cloud nine, in heaven singing hallelujah to the creator. Every single stroke created sexual sensations throughout his body. It was different when he was with Drake. He didn't know why, maybe his wanting for Nick was stronger than his wanting for Drake. Not that being with Drake was bad, but with Nick it was magically fabulous. If he died of right now, he would be smiling up to heaven.
But, on top of all that, Mikael still had a bit of doubt of Nick's actual reasons or intentions, the hidden meaning of it all. He had wondered to what extent did Nick came to conclusion to be with him. The surety of Nick in having man to man sex was appalling and disbelieved. The time Nick appeared on his door steps, gave him a sense of uneasiness. But just to see him standing there in full glory, makes him longing for Nick totally. The conversation they had after, gave a slight indication of the things to come.
"Nick?" Mikael touches Nick's naked chest, caressing it with small gentle circles.
"What?" Nick replied in hesitation. He was not entirely looking directly at Mikael. He was staring at the ceiling blankly with a slight frown on his fore head. If it was possible, he would not want to talk at all. But as usual, Mikael will always have things to talk and asked about. His mind was still churning with the scenario of the love making. It did not felt wrong and yet he was not, damn what was wrong with his mind.
"Are you alright with all of this? You know I've been dreaming about this for a very long time. And now it happens and I am thankful to you." Mikael was grinning rather nervously as he was not sure of Nick's reaction. He was just saying his gratitude for Nick to ever wanting to do it with him. He knew that he was falling for Nick the very first time he saw him at the office, and for them to finally did it, was beyond words could ever expressed and he was elated with all that had happened,
"I'm good, I'm alright, seriously, really." Nick stuttered while replying to Mikael. How can he be good, be alright when he himself was not even sure how he was feeling at the moment. He never thought of having sex with a guy; he never thought that he would like it either. It was not as though he had ever thought about doing it as he was not even had a bit inclination of having sex with a guy, Was not he supposed to be a straight guy? But at that very moment he was in a state of confusion and hearing what Mikael had asked, added to it. He knew he had to be calm as any slight indication of ambivalent emotions would definitely flip Mikael. But... but... hmmm.
Mikael saw the uncertainty of Nick's emotions on his face. He had to know what was on Nick's mind. "Nick, where do we go from here? I hope it ends with something good. I really hope that you are not leading me on as I would be..." Mikael paused, took a deep breath and continued, "What about Amy?" It was hard for him to asked that question as he did not want Nick to be reminded of her at the very moment. But he need to be sure to what Nick want. He did sound a bit intimidating by asking it, but he had no choice. That was the only way to make Nick realized of the situation they were on.
Nick was stunned to hear Mikael asked about Amy. For that freaking moment he had managed to put Amy out of his mind and was focusing and enjoying the time spent with Mikael. But when he was asked... he totally shut down and just stared at the white ceiling again. Just then he started to get emotional and felt guilty to know that he was betraying Amy's trust. Should he really worry about it...? Hmmm.
Nick propped himself up on one elbow and turned to face Mikael. He used his free hand and caressed Mikael's face, lingering his thumb on his tender lips. He took a deep breath and anticipated a reply.
"Look here Mikael, the truth is, I am not really sure what am I feeling right now. I love what we have done together. It was wonderful, it was magical, it was something I did not normally do, but to do it with you it changes my perception of things." Nick was expressing his heart content.
What Nick had said was making Mikael happy and he smiled with a slight blushed on his cheeks. "You do know that you look cute when you blush like that. But I do hope you give me time to sort it out and I will come to my best conclusion." Nick sighed deeply and continued, " I simply cannot ignore my feelings toward Amy as she is still my girlfriend. Please understand and I will have to tell her one way or another about us." Nick was looking at Mikael's facial expression, hoping for the best.
"I will give you time Nick. She is my friend too and I do not want her to get hurt. But, I do not want to get hurt either. I am sorry if I do sound selfish. But if you really want this, then you have to make your choice. You have to be honest with her and with yourself too Nick." Mikael was getting frustrated but he tried not to showed it to Nick.
"What about you then in regard to Drake? Are you gonna be honest with him too?" Nick retorted back at Mikael and he regret saying the way he did. It make him sounded like a jealous bitch. But that was how he felt ever since he knew about Mikael and Drake. he simply cannot help it.
"I will only if you are serious about us, if not, this will be our only time together. I am not regretting it as I do love it, Nick. And I do want us to be together. But if you intended to continue on with Amy, then I will with Drake." Mikael sighed and continued, "It wouldn't be fair to either of them if we continued without them knowing."
"I'll understand that, Mikael." Nick spoke in a whispering voice. Mikael had to strain his ears to hear what Nick was saying. "Listen here, I will do my part with Amy and you do what has to be done with Drake." Nick stared at Mikael lovingly, "I want to be with you and I choose you, Mikael." Nick raised both of his hands and hold to Mikael face gently. Using both of his thumb, he started to caress Mikael blushing cheeks.
"It was turmoil seeing you with Drake, yet you have to give me time to handle Amy. I can't just simply dump her, right?" Nick leaned in to Mikael and kissed his lips tenderly, "It will be just the two of us like it was supposed to be long ago." he spoke in an assuring voice.
Mikael was teary-eyed and one by one, tears of happiness cascaded down his cheeks. Nick used his thumbs again to wipe away the tears. He then wrapped his arms around Mikael's waist and pulled his body closer, closing the distance between them; lips locking each other and spooning each other until the time when Nick had to go home.
After Nick left for home, Mikael was elated at the progress of their bonding. He really hoped that what he had wished for would come true at last. But then he became sad as he felt the other side of the bed; empty without Nick around. The hollowness in his heart grew with anticipation. He misses Nick already yet he knew that everything was gonna be alright between him and Nick.
After what was said to Mikael, Nick himself was not really sure to where he stood or what he was gonna do. He did say that he wanted Mikael and chooses Mikael, but he still wanted to love Amy. All these things were messing with his head and seriously he did not have the answer to it all. Mikael... or... Amy?
Nick reached home, took off his clothing, went to the bathroom, cleaned himself and went straight to bed without eating dinner. His apartment felt so empty. Whom would he liken to have with him at that moment, Mikael or Amy.
His thought lingers to the both of them and his eyes were getting heavy and slowly he drops to a peaceful slumbered sleep with a smile on his face wondering for whom he was smiling at... hmmm!
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Special words of gratitude to my editor friend Neal H. for a fabulous editing.
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