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It Really Hurts Chapter 5
Jerry sat in the waiting room of the hospital, he was crying his eyes out, Mrs. O'Leary came in and sat down beside him and said, Jerry you know that my son ( MIKE ) loved you, he thought the world of you, I have known for years that he ( MIKE ) was gay, I also knew that he had always loved you, I told him that you were a great friend, I also told him that he should should have told you how he felt, That you would understand, that your friendship was strong enough that it would have survived that ordeal.
Jerry put his head on Mrs. O'Leary's shoulder, he said said, that up until Mike had told him, he never knew, he had always been drawn to him ( MIKE ) but he could not understand why, only at the end, when he ( MIKE ) told me did it really sink in how I felt about HIm (MIKE), God I loved him (MIKE) so much, and it hurts so much knowing that I will never see him (MIKE) again.
Mrs. O'Leary said Jerry, this may seem like and odd thing to say, what you did for Mike during his last days, meant so much to him (MIKE), he (MIKE) was always smiling, there was a glow in his (MIKE) eyes that only showed up after he ( MIKE) realized that you loved him (MIKE). You made his (MIKE) last few days with us special, the love and companionship you shared, was more than he (MIKE) could have hoped for. you made his (MIKE) life worth something, the love that you two had for each other was really something special, I saw that in both of your eyes. Please lets not mourn for our loss, but let us celebrate his (MIKE) life.
Jerry was still crying, he had such an empty feeling inside, he had lost someone very dear to him, this would not be an easy thing to overcome, he looked at Mrs. O'Leary and said, I will carry mike in my heart forever, I will never be able to forget him (MIKE) he was the best of me and now I feel like there is nothing left.
Mrs. O'Leary said, Jerry it will be very lonely around the house now with Mike gone, promise me you will come and visit.
Jerry said, Mrs. O'leary do you think I could sleep in MIke's bed tonight, it will make me feel close to him (MIKE).
Mrs. O'Leary said Jerry you will always be welcome at my house, consider it you second home, I am sure that Mike would want that. Now I have to go and make the arrangements for the services, do you need a ride home?
Jerry stood up and said, I think I just need to be alone, I will walk home if that is OK with you. It will give me a chance to remember and say good-bye to the one person that impacted my life the most. I will see you at the house. He kissed Mrs. O'leary on the cheek and said, I will see you later MOM, then he half smiled turned and walked of of the waiting room, he walked over to the room where Mike's body was, he asked the nurse, can I go in just for a minute, she smiled shook her head, Jerry went in pulled the curtain closed, walked over to the bed, he looked down and gazed on Mike's body, he bent down and kissed his (MIKE) lips, and said, please Mike I need your help to get through this, please help me. He straightened his ( MIKE) hair and said take care my love, we will be together again I promise.
Mrs. O'Leary was gone when Jerry came out of the room.
Jerry stopped at the nurses station and said, thank you for taking care of my boyfriend ( those words seemed to just roll of his tongue ) I will never forget your kindness towards Mike. Then he slowly walked away and glanced over his shoulder at the room one final time. He went to the elevator, took it down to the first floor and slowly walked out of the hospital and just started to walk, he had no idea where he was going, he just walked and walked and walked. it was starting to get dark, he looked into the sky and realized that it was late, he looked around, had no idea where he was, he only knew that he was alone, as he approached an intersection his cell phone rang, he looked at it and it was Mike's number, he quickly answered it, hoping that this was just a dream, he said, MIke thank god you are alright, the voice on the other end said Jerry it's Mrs. O'Leary, Jerry happiness was gone in a heart beat, I am sorry Mrs. O'Leary.
Mrs. O'leary said Jerry where are you, it is late and you should have been here hours ago.
Jerry said Mrs. O'leary I am lost, both mentally and physically.
Mrs. O'Leary asked, Jerry where are you?
Jerry looked up at the street signs and said, I am at the intersection of Loomis and Peoria streets.
Mrs. O'Leary said Jerry you find a place there and wait for me, I will come and get you! she got on the computer and put in the intersection and it came up she got directions and was on her way, she was thinking that Jerry had walked over 70 miles away from the hospital in the opposite direction, She knew that she had better keep an eye on him as he was really out of it. She finally arrived at the intersection about an hour and a half later, she got out of the car, she called for Jerry, after several minutes Jerry came walking out of a store, when he saw her he ran up to her and grabbed her and said I am so very sorry, I just started walking and thinking about Mike and I just don't know what happened. They got into the car, She said Jerry are you hungry?
Jerry took a deep breathe and said, No!
They headed back to the house, when they got there jerry slowly got out of the car, slowly walked to the door and went in.
He headed right to the bedroom, he got undressed and climbed into the bed that he and Mike shared, he grabbed Mike's pillow and pulled up to his face, he just breathed in, he could still smell Mike,.
Mrs. O'Leary came in and asked, if he needed anything?
Jerry looked at her and with tears in his eyes, he started to cry and said, YES I NEED MiKE, then he broke down again.
Mrs. O'leary walked over and sat down on the bed, she reached out to Jerry.
Jerry turned and looked at her with hatred in his eyes, he said, get away from me, this is our bed you are not welcome here, get out!
Mrs. O'Leary stood and walked out of the room, Jerry was really hurting, she knew that, It did not however, help her with her grieving, she went and sat in the living room and for the first time since loosing her son, she let it all out.
Several minutes later Jerry came running out of the bedroom and into the living room, he ran up to the chair, knelt down and said MOM I am so sorry for what I said, He took her hand and pulled her up and they both stood hugging each other until almost 4:00 in the morning.
They both walked down the hall and she went into her room and Jerry headed back to the one place that he could keep Mike forever, he climbed into the bed rolled over and kissed Mike's pillow and said, Good night my love. He fell asleep and had a very restful sleep dreaming of being held by Mike.
The next morning Jerry got up and quietly took a shower and cleaned up the bedroom, he opened the door and it looked like Mrs. O'Leary was still asleep, he walked down the hall into the kitchen, she was not there, Jerry decided that he would make breakfast for both of them, he was feeling better, he still had this huge hole in his heart that he decided he would fill with the love he had for Mike. He knew that that way it would make him a better person, he would also always know where Mike was, he would also be a part of him till the day he died, he was just finishing up breakfast when Mrs. O'Leary came into the kitchen.
She smiled and said, what's this. you made breakfast?
Jerry smiled, walked up and kissed her on the cheek, that's for all the trouble I put you through yesterday, not to mention the terrible things I said last night.
Mrs. O'Leary said, come here you little sweet heart, she hugged him and said, as long as you are here, Mike will be here as well.
They sat down and ate, when they finished they both cleaned the kitchen and went in the living room, sat down and started to talk. the healing process started for both of them all though it would be a long time before it was over, at least it was a start, they sat and talked about mike and all the things he used to do, the crazy things he said, Jerry said, do you remember that goofy face he always made to crack everybody up, I will never forget that, he looked like such a dork, Jerry stopped and realized what he said, then looked at Mrs. O'leary and they both burst out laughing, they spent the entire day talking and remembering Mike. every time they would start to get sad they would think of that goofy face and it would cheer then up, Mrs. O'Leary looked at Jerry and said, I think we better go to bed, it will be a long day tomorrow, Jerry kissed her on the cheek, said good night MOM, see you in the morning.
Morning came and they were up and dressed and ready to go by 7:00, they arrived at the funeral home at 7:30. 8:00 came and much to Jerry's surprise there looked to be 100 kids from school, al standing waiting for the doors to open. when the doors opened all the kids came in and signed the book and took a seat. they just kept coming in, by 9:00 there were so many kids that there was no place to sit.
Jerry walked to the front of the room and over to the podium. He cleared his throat, then he began to speak, I am so glad to see all of you, I am sure that Mike would be happy to know that you all cared about him, there are a few things that I am sure you did not know about MIke. First He was my best friend, he was always there when I need him, he made me laugh, sometimes he would make me cry, he never seemed to run out of love to give to anyone that needed it, he would be there for anyone. He cheered us all on in any sport we played, and he brought out the best in all of us. The other thing that I am sure that you did not know was that Mike was my boyfriend, he stopped and looked around and the looked on most of the faces sitting in the room was disbelief. It may be hard for some of you to understand what I just said, for those people I am truly sorry, for those of you who understand I want to thank you, yes I loved Mike and it was so very easy to do, I hope that that all of you some day have or find someone to love as easy as it was for me to love Mike, for those of you who knew Mike, you never heard complaints, as sick as Mike was I never heard Him complain, Mike truly loved everyone and I hope that you loved him back, tomorrow I will be going to the bank and open an account in his name, it will be called the MIKE O'LEARY CANCER FUND, money in that account will go toward helping people that need help to fight cancer. I want to thank you for coming today and hope that what you heard here today will inspire to help and love a little more in your life.
The service ended at the funeral home, now was the hard part, taking Mike to the cemetery, it was sort of the knife through the heart of Jerry, he planned to be strong, Mike would not want it any other way, while the kids filed out and thsoe that were going to the cemetery were getting into there cars.
Mrs. O'Leary was talking to the funeral director.
Jerry was standing inthe alcove after everyone left, everyone but one boy, he walked up and said, hi, you really don't know me, but I have something I want to say and then something I want to show you.
First my name Paul Olson, I gues that next to you I knew Mike best, we were friends since the 7th grade, I guess that other than Mike back then I was the only other person, except for maybe mike's mom, that knew he loved you, we would sit and talk about you for hours, he made me so jealous, he loved so much even back then I know that you did not have that much time together but know Mike as I did, I know it was the best he had to offer. Now this may not be the best time for this but it was Mike's wish and my promise that I would give this to you.
Mike,
I know that this is a very hard time for you and mom,
just know that I loved you both so very much, the most
important thing for me know is to make sure that you are
both happy.
This letter must seem strange to you as I could have told
you this befoe, I just wanted you to knkow that I am not
the only one that loves you.
Paul has been in love with you almost as long as I have
been,
What I am about to ask you amy seem weird, but trust
me I have given it a lot of thought, and I have decided
to ask you to start seeing and going out with Paul, he
is a great guy and I know he really love you with all his
heart. I know you loved me, and I loved you, we can't
be together any more in your life, I will be waiting in
heaven for you, and we can be together there.
I am going to ask you one last favor, please give Paul a
chance to love you as I did, he has a big heart, and the
that silly guy has been in love with you for a long time.
Promise me you will try, give his a chance, I trust his
and I know that he will look after you, he will be there
for you and I know he will love you, Please give him a
break and love him back, I know you won't be sorry.
??? I Will always Love You
??? Mike
Jerry had tears running down his cheeks, he looked at Paul and asked, did you know he had cancer?
Paul said yes for several years!
I you knew he loved me and you knew he had cancer, why did you not tell me, Jerry asked.
Paul said, you know Mike, he made me promise not to tell you, he did not want to take the chance that it would ruin either your life or your friendship with him. He cared so much that he did not want to hurt you in any way.
Jerry asked, Paul did you read this before you gave it to me?
Paul looked him in the eyes and said,no, he made me promise not to read it, just keep for you until, well today, Paul stood there with tears starting to roll down his cheeks and said, Jerry I loved him so much.
Jerry reached out and pulled Paul into a hug and said, well Mike always knew what was going on, he had a canny knack for that, he went out of his way to make sure that the two people most important to him would be able to get by, Paul if you will have me, I think that we should humor Mike and give this a chance.
Mrs. O'Leary came out of the office, she walked up to the boys, hi Paul was the first thing out of her mouth.
Jerry looked at her with a surprised look on his face. Jerry said, do you know him?
Mrs. O'Leary asked, do I know Paul, of course, he and Mike would sit in Mike's room with the door open, spend hours talking about the only thing in their life that they had in common, other than being friends, that was some boy called Jerry, then she smiled at both of them.
Jerry said here, he handed to note to Mrs. O'leary, and asked her to read it, she did and she smiled, she looked at Jerry, then said, does this ssurprise you, don't you think that Mike would have wanted you to be happy, this is his way of telling you that he is ok, now it is time for you to more on with you life, with someone that already loves you, Mike did the ground work, all you two have to do is build a firm foundatiion, I am sure that if you two get together, that it would make Mike very happy, after all he went through the trouble of making sure that you two met, you have to at least give it a try, do it for Mike.
The went out and climbed into the the car and they were on their way to the cemetery, to put Mike's body in it's final resting place, his heart was safely buried in the heart of Jerry and would always be there.
When the arrived at the cemetery, Jerry was very surprised to see only a handful of kids, he walked over to one of the guys on the baseball team and asked, where did every one go, his friend said you won't like it, they just came so they could get out of school, they had no intention of coming to the cemetery, most of them did not even know Mike, I did and I am very sorry, he then said, do you remember that goofy look he used to give you, the first time I saw it I knew two things, one that he was crazy about you, and second, that if i did not find the bathroom I was going to pee my pants from laughing so hard, Jerry I am not gay, but I can say this much, Mike loved you more than I have seen anyone love like that before, you were so very lucky, I wish I could find someone to love me as much as he loved you.
The ceremony ended and Jerry's baseball team mate came up, hugged him and said, if there is anything I can do just ask, he kissed him on the cheek, turned and walked away.
Paul walked up and said do you mind if I come home with you and Mrs. O'Leary.
Jerry said, well since Mike has decided that we are going to be boyfriends, I guess we should start to get to know each other, he looked at Paul, smiled gave him a hug and said, let's go home.
The three of them, Mrs. O'Leary, Jerry and his new friend Paul climbed into the car, then headed back to the house.
Well that's it for now, hopee you liked it and there will be one more chapter. Please emaile me at spiderwick1@hotmail.com with comments and feedback Please leave your age, thanks, I will answer all emails as soon as possible. Thanks for reading my stories.