Standard disclaimer. None of the characters or events depicted here are based on real people or situations. The author will not accept any claims or suits based on the recognition or identification of any character or events howsoever portrayed. So ner nerney ner ner. Told you this part would be along a bit quicker! Tell me what you think nickwyatt42@gmail.com.
We were in his bedroom and Adrian was enthusiastically stripping me naked even before we collapsed on the bed. I was still in shock at her gorgeous femininity.
As we descended to the bed, my trousers were already down and Adrian was unbuttoning my shirt. I was so confused, Adrian looked so magically beautiful in her feminine clothes that I didn't want to break the spell, even though I lusted after sex with him or her in whatever way I could.
I placed my hand on her hip and slid it down onto the sleek material of her skirt covering her thighs. There was a little bump; she was wearing stockings with suspenders.
She'd finished opening my shirt and now she looked at me all wide-eyed and naughty.
"Like the idea?"
"Oh yes" I whispered.
She slithered up and over me, running her hands over my bare chest, her head went down and suddenly I realised she was sucking my nipples. Adrian was astride me now, sitting up and gently moving back and forth over my underpants. As she did so, I forced my pelvis upwards and thrust my penis towards her.
"Well it's my turn now"." And she grinned with delicious naughtiness as she slid down my body and took hold of the waistband of my underwear.
"Where are the panties I gave you on Friday?"
"In the wash" Actually, they weren't. They were already rinsed out and hidden, securely this time, at the back of the airing cupboard.
"Did you wear them?"
"For the rehearsal, yes."
"Oh good." And now she tugged my horrid y-fronts down. Sliding off the end of the bed, she removed my trousers completely and then my underpants and socks. I lay there naked apart from my opened school shirt. I was almost embarrassed and made to cover my willy with my hand.
"Don't! I want to look and enjoy" and she did. I watched her as her eyes travelled up my body, focussing on my groin before rising and engaging my eyes again.
"I'm going to give you everything." She breathed and ran the fingers of both hands down my stomach and around my fully erect penis. That was it; that was the first time Adrian touched me. And now his head went down and I felt the most exquisite pleasure in my glans, Adrian was licking me. Now he rubbed his lips left and right across my glans. I grunted and involuntarily thrust forward a little. Adrian looked up and smiled. She was pleased that he was having the right effect on me. Her head went down again and now her mouth encircled my penis gently. I felt her licking the very ridge of the corona of my circumcised penis, and now she slid her perfect mouth onto my penis, taking as much of it into her mouth as she could.
I exclaimed, and she giggled just lightly, with her mouth full. It felt extraordinary.
She sucked me, working her mouth up and down my penis and as I became more excited, I ran my fingers through her hair and pulled her very lightly into a closer embrace.
My body arched back in pleasure, I wasn't coming yet, but I was enjoying the journey.
Releasing my penis from her mouth, she slid up towards me. We kissed again and I felt the warm wetness of her mouth where my penis had been moments before.
She lay upon me and her thighs parted as far as her skirt would allow, I placed my hands on her bottom cheeks and pulled her tight in, grinding my penis in towards her bump. I began to pull her skirt up and she shifted to allow it to rise. I slid my hands up the back of her thighs and felt the tops of her stockings and the suspender straps beyond. It was all I could not to come right there and then. I really had to struggle to think of anything but her perfect sexuality and avoid embarrassing myself with a premature ejaculation onto her skirt front.
I've read that some men try to think of dead puppies to avoid coming. Others think of deformed children, or a picture of Christ. I tried all of those and an image of my grandmother too, and it worked. I didn't quite come.
But sensing my need, Adrian slipped off me and stood at the side of the bed.
"Let's lose this" And she unzipped and wiggled her way out of the shimmering skirt. Her slim thighs were clothed in neutral stockings held up by white a suspender belt. Matching white briefs covered her modesty.
"And these" and she wiggled down her pretty pants to reveal her lovely, springy, dancing willy.
"Woo-oh!" She exclaimed and did a `twirl' , showing me her pretty bottom.
Giggling now at her own immodesty, she lastly shed her blouse and padded bra before joining me on the bed and slithered her way face down beneath me.
I wrenched off my shirt and naked now, I launched myself upon her. I rubbed myself against the side of her buttocks.
"Yes, go on!"
This was the deciding moment in my life. I could desist, roll away and try to remain at least some kind of `normal', I could stop cross-dressing and apply myself to sexless studies prior to monastic endeavour at the RCA ... or I could have anal sex with Adrian.
I rolled on top of her, and she tilted her pelvis upwards offering me her glorious bottom, framed by her suspender belt and stockings. Taking the weight on my outstretched arms, I looked down and watched myself slide my incredibly stiff willy along the cleft of her bottom. It felt wonderful, and I grunted in pleasure as I thrust against her.
"Inside. Try inside" she whispered.
I wasn't sure how to do that. I looked down to her rosebud and it seemed so perfectly closed, I thought it might be impossible. I moved back slightly and thrust forward, but this skidded under her body and I felt my penis thrusting against the back of her scrotum.
"Wait a minute. In the top drawer ... over there." And she pointed to a bedside cabinet. I scrambled over and took out a small tube of KY Jelly. I had always used Baby Oil on myself before, but I was sure KY worked in the same way, so I squeezed out an inch or so onto my fingers and lubricated my willy as thoroughly as I could. Adrian took the tube and spread another squeeze onto her bottom.
I tried again and again, but my penis slithered up passed her entrance each time; I was so frustrated, it was starting to get annoying.
Now she knelt on the bed; head down and bottom up.
"Now try."
I guided my straining penis towards her and just partly inserted my finger first to guide my willy in. Now it was starting to go in.
"Gently"
And I felt her lovely bud relax just a little and allow my glans inside. Oh, the feeling of that lovely tight ring and the soft capture of her flesh beyond. As gently as I could, I thrust, just a little deeper each time. My heart was thumping in my chest and I could almost hear it squeak in my throat as I began to love Adrian. I was actually doing it; I was really doing it.
I was almost all the way in now and thrusting carefully but enthusiastically, mindful of not hurting her. Her head stayed on the pillow, face to one side and I could see little winces of discomfort cross her brow as I thrust a little too deep or fast. I fucked her hungrily, desperately but always constrained within a need to be gentle to this pretty maid. I leant forward as far as I could over her back and kissed her shoulder, neck and cheek, still with my penis deep inside her
"Let me try on top" she whispered.
And so I disengaged and took my place lying on the bed. Adrian straddled me and sat on my penis.
"Now, let me try and see if I can . . ." And with her hand beneath, she lifted the shaft of my penis and guided it to her rosebud. She was much more relaxed and lubricated now, so entering her was more luxurious and simple. Adrian sat back and allowed my penis to glide into her as she relaxed. And having reached full penetration, she began to rock back and forth just a little. Beneath her I matched the rhythm with my gentle thrusts. How wonderful a feeling to be so engaged with another human being. And what a soft, delicious and luxurious feeling. I think for the first time, I understood the word `Sensual'. I looked down my body and marvelled at her stiff willy with its ruffled foreskin pointing up at my face and the beauty of what she was doing; she was making love to me for my pleasure. So I grasped her willy in my still lubricated fingers and enjoyed the added excitement of feeling her penis rubbing between my fingers as she rode me in her lady bottom.
"Stop! Slow down." She stopped almost immediately and raised her hips releasing my penis.
"All right?"
"Nearly came"
"Let me do it. Do you want me to suck you, or do you want to come in me?" She made it sound like picking items from a menu. One of the suspender clasps to her stockings had come undone in our passion, but that seemed unimportant now.
"Inside."
"Goody. Come here" and she slid rolled back onto the bed, laying on her back she lifted her legs high into the air.
"I want to watch you come."
I approached and was suddenly aware that her pretty bottom was open and awaiting; no awkward penetration this time. I slid in once more and started to thrust against her. But this time, I could see her delicious penis in front of me and more importantly, she watched me as my passion rose and I approached orgasm. Adrian carefully looked into my eyes, recording every emotion and feeling as I shoved my vile penis into her waiting anus time and again. Vicious bloody desire; I was coming! Nothing else mattered in the universe apart from my willy and my orgasm.
Now! I spurted semen, I thrust again, and again I spurted semen; and again and again as my passion subsided. I didn't want pull it out immediately, I stayed in her as we kissed again long and languorous.
"How's that?" Adrian mimicked the cricket call deliberately.
"Fab, and definitely out!"
I withdrew from her fell to one side of the bed like a felled ox. She giggled.
"You went awfully red, you know."
I grunted; nothing mattered now. Her legs descended back to bed level and Adrian reached over and under the pillow on the bed to retrieve several sheets of toilet tissue. I watched, and realised she'd placed them there beforehand in expectation. Looking at me, she lifted her leg slightly and placed the pad of loo paper on her bottom.
"Did I do it right?" Why was she asking me that?
"Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful." I wanted to drift away and sleep for a while.
"Only, that was my first time."
Adrian wanted all the reassurance and compassion that I could give that he was right to have given himself to me and that I appreciated it and loved him for the gift. Being virgin myself, I couldn't have said how expertly or otherwise the act had been performed. Making love to Adrian had felt wonderful; right way or wrong way.
I stirred myself away from slumber and rolled over a bit so that I could reach and wank his perfect willy. He was immensely stiff in my hand, and I played with the foreskin and testicles, teasing the shaft and glans just a little. Adrian lay there, his entire body stiff as I played. He wanted to come and wasn't very far away from orgasm.
"Shall I suck?"
He grunted; not what he wanted. And with his hands on my hips and shoulders, he turned me away from him; he wanted to have anal sex with me.
I hadn't had time to wash or clean myself properly as I had come straight from school, so I must have smelled a bit. Adrian scrabbled for the KY he'd left on the bedside table and lubricated himself. Moments later I felt the chill contact of jelly to my bottom as he lubricated me.
Without a word, as I lay on my side Adrian embraced me and presented his willy at my fundamental entrance. I lifted my top leg as high as I could to ease his access.
Okay. Deep breath and try to relax. And actually, I managed it. Somehow, I was able to relax my anal ring enough to allow his penis in with almost no pain. He paused part way in, just to allow me to relax a little more. Now, deeper and deeper until I could feel the sack of his scrotum at my perineum. I reached down and felt for his bollocks below, all his penis was inside me.
I was not numbed by the feeling; I felt his willy thrust and withdraw in minute and perfect detail. And as he did so I felt that vague itchiness in my anus. He pressed in and I felt the pressure wave that preceded his willy. And when he withdrew, I felt the vacuum feeling as he left. I couldn't relate it to the effect of my hairbrush handle; Adrian was warm, alive and utterly vital. I could feel the power in him as he thrust away behind me.
He withdrew abruptly. "Come over here with me"
He swept off the bed and stood reaching out his hands to me.
"Where?"
"Over here. Put your feet in my shoes and hold on to the desk."
Even though I thought it was odd, I did as I was told and Adrian embraced me from behind again. As he did so I noticed a movement to my right; Adrian was watching himself fucking me in the mirror on the back of the bedroom door. The slight heel of his shoes that I was now wearing, raised and angled my pelvis just nicely and he entered me again easily. That slightly fizzy feeling in my bottom, the thrusting pressure; my penis was a stiff as a rod again. With the bedroom window to my left, I watched the silhouette of our bodies in the mirror to my right, and the stiff rod of his penis between us.
Now his thrusts quickened and his grip on my hips intensified. As he thrust there was a smacking noise of his flesh crashing in to mine and I felt the slap of his testicles against mine. Harder and harder he plunged into me, and I started to feel a bit sore down there. I needed more lubricant, but knew I couldn't have stopped him now.
"Quick. Put your foot on the chair"
"Like this?"
"Mmm"
And he almost levered himself underneath me, thrusting wildly. It was hurting now. Adrian was desperately thrusting himself into me, the fingers of his right hand digging into my neck. This was going on longer than I expected, I thought he was on the point of orgasm long before. I twisted away in discomfort as I felt a burning sensation in my bottom and looked out the window into next door's back garden where someone was planting a flowing border. Little did they know that up here, I was being deflowered.
"Yes!" And he let out an enormous bellow of triumph and excitement. I felt my bottom get a little wetter inside and then I felt the flood of his delicious juices in me. Harder again, he clamped himself to me as he came; rigid and roaring. Another huge spurt, and another. Still holding me tight, he leant back and almost lifted me off the floor with his penis and I yelped involuntarily at the pain. I shuffled a bit to regain my balance and looked out the window again to see if the gardener next door had heard, but it did not seem so.
"Oh!" At last, the orgasm began to subside and he gasped and almost collapsed behind me. I felt him withdraw abruptly, leaving me with a sharp stinging sensation.
He flopped back onto the bed, laying on his back with his willy pointing straight up his stomach. I gave it a glance and then a slightly longer look. It was a slightly funny colour and I thought I must have been very mucky. But then there was that stinging again . . .
"Adrian, any paper please? I'm leaking a bit." He rolled over, opening the top drawer of his chest, he pulled a length of loo roll for me.
Carefully, I wiped underneath at my very sore bottom. I folded the pad over and wiped again. Now I looked. The paper was red; I was bleeding.
Adrian had sat up and was looking at me open mouthed. I suddenly felt weird and the room tipped over towards me; I sat down heavily on the chair.
"Oh god, Nicky! What have I done to you?" He sprang off the bed towards me and I sort of pushed passed him to take his place on the bed. I wanted the room to stop spinning, but while it span, I needed to lie down and hold on to something.
"What shall I do?" He whispered.
"Wait. Nothing." The room was stabilising now, but I remained lying on my side with the pad of paper clamped between my legs.
Time passed.
"Shall I call the doctor?" His voice was slightly trembling, and even though he was naturally pale I could see that all colour had left his face; he was afraid.
"Definitely not!"
I inspected the paper, still a bit bloody, but it seemed to be stopping. I sat up carefully and my brain seemed to follow a second or so later. I was sore and stinging, and it was a little uncomfortable to sit down. To be honest, I was frightened too. We'd been doing something very wrong, and I'd been damaged by it and I wasn't sure how badly. How on earth could I get help or even begin to tell anyone about it? This was the sixties remember, and the Sexual Offences Bill (legalising male homosexuality between adults) wasn't yet law.
"Could I have some tea, with three sugars in it." I remember reading somewhere that hot sweet tea was good for shocks or something. I felt vaguely sick and rather wobbly, but I thought sugar might help.
Adrian leapt off the bed and tore out of the room still naked.
I began to get dressed, trying to keep the pad of paper between my cheeks as I put the Y fronts on. Adrian was back almost instantly with the tea, which he offered to me as though it was holy water. Gently he sat on the bed beside me
"It's okay. I'll be all right." I reassured him. "I think you were just a bit too passionate, that's all. And it was my first time, too." His shoulders sagged and he sort of gasped in self-disgust.
And I stroked his cheek to show I didn't blame him, still loved him.
I sipped the hot tea and the sugar seeped into my being; I began to feel better and continued getting dressed.
"You can't go just like that."
"I just want to go home. Don't be cross, I just want to be home and alone."
"Shall I walk back with you?"
"No, don't be daft. I'm fine."
"But supposing you go, y'know, faint again?"
"I won't. It was just the surprise. I'll be okay."
I wanted to go and hide away; I'd lost my virginity and had a bit of a scare too. I felt weak and vulnerable.
He kissed me goodbye gently behind the front door and I started to walk home. I felt so self-conscious, I was convinced I was walking strangely and betraying my discomfort through anal sex because of it. As I walked, I began to feel slightly soggy again, and I realised I was still bleeding.
Halfway home I realised the awfulness that awaited me. Annie was arriving home that evening; I wouldn't have the bathroom to myself anymore, and I'd have to check everything was neatly back in place before she arrived.
Shout up to Mum, into the kitchen to get a slice of bread, butter and jam. I was sure that would make me feel better. I climbed the stairs gingerly, finished my snack and then locked myself in the bathroom to inspect my bottom. Not as bloody as I feared. It was sore and stinging, but with no obvious signs of real damage. I bathed myself in warm water and patted dry gently. My underwear was still clean, so I didn't have to wash that.
Dressed again, I made a critical inspection of Annie's room. Nothing was out of place or misplaced. Mum had been in there too and put clean clothes into three or four drawers, which was perfect as any disruption would be attributed to that. Phew. With a little discomfort, I checked the back of the airing cupboard; retrieved Adrian's panties and tidied away behind me.
Back into my room to hide the panties with my girdle etc. Then I remembered that I was using Annie's stockings in the play. Bugger, I exclaimed to myself ... and then chuckled at the irony ... what should I do about that?
I decided that as it was summer, it would be unlikely that she would miss winter-weight clothing. And if she did, I decided that I'd say that mum had suggested I use them . . . and I'd just hope that Annie didn't ask mum.
Annie arrived just after supper, and we all hugged and sat and chatted over cups of tea and slices of slightly stale shop-bought Dundee cake while Annie regaled us with the wonders of her dig. Despite all my previous disappointments with Annie's recounting of her wonderful experiences, I still loved the stories she told. How so-and-so found this and that and why they got soaking wet and what happened to the sausages and why everyone had to get up at two in the morning and who on earth did Brian think he was. Annie's version of a day was peppered with excitement, laughter, coincidence and intrigue; everyone else's description would be of an ordinary day.
Never mind. I loved my sister and loved her retelling of the events of the past two and a half weeks. But now I had to go to bed. I was sore and shifting from one cheek to another was getting embarrassing. I left her downstairs with mum and dad and went up to bed.
I undressed, washed (no sign of bleeding) and gone to bed when there was a slight tap at my bedroom door.
"Mmn? What?"
"It's me. Can I come in?"
"Okay."
I half sat up as Annie opened the latch and came in, a blast of light accompanied her and blinked and shielded my eyes as she said
"Sorry. Didn't mean to do that. Shall I shut the door?"
"Yeah." And she shut the door, and now she blundered about in the dark. She thumped into the end of my bed and I felt her pat around to the side.
"Move y'legs so I can sit down." I grunted and did so.
"Can you put the light on then?"
"Yeah. `Course."
I clicked my bedside light on and blinked again for a second or two.
"I just can't believe you are playing Juliet! That's fantastic, so exciting!"
I grunted again. We'd been through this over cake.
"You're the star. The real star!"
"What's your costumes like? I bet they're all gold brocade and ruffled silk. Do you wear high-heels? Can you walk in them? God, I hope you don't fall over! I bet you're beautiful though, wish I had your complexion. Are you wearing padding? Y'know, up top. Who does your makeup?"
I sank back onto my pillow. Oh, Annie.
I explained and told her everything. It all sounded very ordinary and pedestrian as I said it, but Annie's eyes stretched wide and her mouth opened to a perfect `O'.
"Stockings? How d'yer keep them up?"
"Same way as you do."
She gasped and gave such a realistic impersonation of a cod that I laughed.
"You're lying!"
"Under the drawer." I said indicating the bottom of my wardrobe. "Look."
She knelt and pulled the draw out onto her lap.
She gave a great, gasping, hissing intake of breath and clasped her hands to her mouth as she stared at what I'd hidden beneath the drawer. I couldn't see it, but I knew it was Maggie's girdle, Adrian's panties, and Annie's stockings.
"No bra?"
"That's at school with the dress."
"Those stockings . . ."
"I know, they're yours. I stole them." I was too tired for any pretences. My botty hurt and I just wanted to sleep.
"They'll be much too hot. I'll give you some lighter ones."
I woke on Tuesday morning and shifted uneasily. I'd got up twice in the night to inspect myself and change the paper pad I wore inside my underpants. I didn't dare risk bleeding into my pyjamas or onto the sheets in case Mum found out.
I washed myself gently, brushed my teeth and did anything else I could think of. Now I couldn't put it off any longer; I really needed to'go'.
It hurt. There's no other way to write it; it hurt loads. But there was less blood afterwards than I expected, which cheered me up quite a bit. It was probably only a tiny tear that would heal soon.
Off to school to sit as a model(!) in the GCE art exam for the boys one year younger than myself. I didn't have to be nude of course, but I took a pair of swimming trunks to change into just in case.
Adrian was there at the gates.
"All right?"
"Yep. Fine."
"Really fine?"
I knew what he was referring to, of course.
"It's okay, honestly. I'd tell you if it wasn't."
"Phew. I was worried sick. Couldn't sleep! Mum came in at about three, worried what was wrong . . ." I'd never met Adrian's mum, so I couldn't imagine how she could know her son wasn't asleep. All I knew was my Mum would be well oiled with gin by bedtime and deeply unknowing till morning.
"Does it hurt?"
"Stings a bit."
"Nicky, I'm so sorry. I'd give anything not to have hurt you-"
"It's okay!" I interrupted. "I understand, but I don't want you to think that way. I'll get better"
I looked around at the other boys trudging past us into the school. I wanted a hug from Adrian, but I knew that wasn't possible.
Yes, my bottom hurt and I'd been very scared by the episode, but this morning it didn't feel too bad and I almost felt that I'd suffered to give him pleasure ... that I had almost made a kind of sacrifice for him. Badge of honour? Rite of Passage?
I wondered if my anal pain was similar to female period pain. I hoped this wouldn't happen every month.
Mrs Trellis bundled me in to the pottery room, kicking the door closed behind him.
"Now it's not going to be too strenuous, Nicky. They've got to do two fifteen minute life class drawings, and there's only nine candidates, so they can all get good close positions."He looked a t me over his glasses.
"I won't ask you to pose nude; that wouldn't be appropriate, but would you do it in your underpants for me?"
That sounded utterly revolting and this morning in particular, I just didn't fancy sexual innuendo at all.
"I've brought my swimmers with me sir, so I could wear those" I offered.
"Excellent! That would be superb. Now, the first pose I want you to do is sort of draped across the couch out there ... don't worry, I'll arrange you before we start, and then I want you in the position of Adam on the Cistine chapel ceiling ... you know, with the outstretched finger."
"Oh yes, I know."
"Don't worry about having to hold your arm out for fifteen minutes though, I've rigged up a stand that you can rest your arm on!"
He was terribly pleased with himself. And now he jumped up from his chair, rubbing his hands together and looking at his watch.
"Ten minutes to the off! Let's get the chaps all settled and perhaps you could get ready, please Wyatt."
He pranced out of the pottery room and rather unhappily, I started to get undressed. I really didn't want to do this; it would be embarrassing and the sketching boys would take the mickey. Today of all days.
There was a small panel of wired safety glass in the door between the pottery room and the main art room, through it I could see Mrs Trellis arranging the candidates around the central dais with a rather battered looking chaise longue on it.
I turned away and continued undressing. And as I stood there, naked and shuffling through my satchel for my swimming trunks, I realised that Mr Trelawny was watching me through that tiny window. I straightened up with my trunks in my hand and turned towards him. Here I was, completely naked for him to look at. He caught my eye and hurriedly turned away.
Well, I did the poses. And they were fine, and I rested my arm on a stand made from easels and that was fine too. And no one said anything or commented or sniggered or anything. I had a quick look at the sketches afterwards and they were all pretty poor, I'm afraid to say.
"No budding Durer's here then!" Mrs Trellis sounded rather disappointed. "Still, they've done their best."
Now he shuffled things about in a distracted manner before speaking again.
"I apologise for my lapse, Wyatt. I shouldn't have done that. Not professional or clever at all. Shouldn't have peeked at you. I'm sorry."
I didn't know how to respond, what to say. So I just said "Thank you".
Mrs Trellis tapped the table decisively, turned and left the room. I got changed in peace and left too.
I don't know whether it was just my delicate physical state that day or something else, but I didn't feel at all sexual on that Tuesday. But when I examined my being more closely, I realised that I could only be sexual' or behave in a sexually charged manner' with Mr Trelawny when I was in female clothes or while I was changing into or out of them. In other words, I needed to feel sexy in my clothes before I could feel sexy towards him. Freud, are you there?
We had another rehearsal that afternoon, starting relatively late at three thirty because of GCE exams in the auditorium. Adrian was there clearing the tables away with others while we Actors of the Company prepped up and got ready although this was not a costume rehearsal.
I tried my best to walk and turn woman' as Maggie had put it, in addition to delivering my lines on cue, on message and in character as AJ and I had practiced. There wasn't any me' in my performance that afternoon. Nick wasn't present: only Juliet.
It all worked well and I felt happy with the result at the end. I walked off the stage intending to go for a pee before the post mortem session with Messrs Gibson and Trelawny.
But Doctor Coleridge (who I hadn't noticed in the auditorium) grabbed me by the forearm as I passed him by.
"Wyatt! Wait just a second, young sir. That was astonishing! You were entirely wonderful in the whole performance. I didn't see you ... I saw a young lady named Juliet! How did you do it? You were magnificent."
I don't know what I replied. Probably something about great direction, rehearsal and practice. After all, how could I explain that Mrs Trellis had dressed me female, Maggie had coached me to be female and Adrian had made me feel female?
"Most excellent, my dear boy. I look forward to the first night; you will be wonderful!"
We finished late and so I expected to walk home alone. But there was Adrian waiting for me.
"Still okay?"
"Yes, yes. I can hardly feel it at all" which was a lie because my bottom was still very sore and I had found a blood stain when I changed out of my swimmers.
"Coming back with me?" I asked
"Please"
"This way, then."
This was Adrian's first visit to my home - Town Farm, and he was a little surprised the bits of the house didn't quite connect.
"This is where the servants would have lived."
"Okay, but they wouldn't have been able to get to the main bathroom then, and your bathroom's new!"
"That was another bedroom. The servants used the outside loo, and they wouldn't have washed much anyway" I watched him wrinkle his nose. Cleanliness was close to Adrian's heart.
"So who lived over there?" Adrian was looking over at the stable block.
"The horses, and probably the groom and the stable boy"
"And now?"
"That's all mum's studio."
"Wow."
Somehow we wound up on my bed. I'd undone his shirt and pulled his trousers and pants down to caress his penis as we kissed and cuddled. I'd stopped him from undoing my trousers; I didn't want to be touched for a while.
"Need to tell you something."
"Hmm?" I continued playing with his willy, rolling and tugging back and forth.
"Not coming back to school in the Autumn. Wanted to tell you yesterday."
Shock. Real surprise. I broke my rhythm, but now I started wanking him again in a rather distracted fashion as my mind raced.
"Do they know at school?"
"Oh yes. I'm starting at the London Conservatoire in October!" I stopped, and half sat up to look into his face, properly.
"Wow! Adrian, that's fantastic. Magnificent!" He smiled rather nervously at me.
"I'll be staying in London during the week. Might come back at weekends"
My sunny resolve crumbled a bit. No daily Adrian, maybe no Adrian at weekends either.
There was something else. Whatever had started this little confessional, it hadn't finished yet; there was something else he had to tell me. I propped up on one elbow and stroked his lovely body from nipple to willy.
"And I'm not going to be Adrian any more." Big breath. "I'm going to be Adrienne!"
The sky erupted and a seventh part of the earth was made flame and the oceans rose up and boiled. I coughed lightly.
"What was that?"
"I'm going to be Adrienne. I'm going to dress as a woman at the Conservatoire and live in the way I should have been born."
I reeled and convulsed inwardly, I'm not sure why though. This is exactly the situation I had toyed with; move to a situation in a new town and become the person you always knew you were . . . More importantly I felt personally betrayed that she was doing so; decisively making the break before I had summoned up the courage to do so. I was more than merely jealous, though.
I lay still in her arms, but my hand drifted away from her willy. Adrian was hardly daring to breathe, she'd summoned up all her courage to make that announcement
"Anything? Any reaction; what do you think, Nicky? Please."
"I don't care what you call yourself. I think you are perfect, and I love you. Become whoever you want to become ... I will just love you!" Weird, thoroughly weird. That little speech wasn't in my head, but must have been in my heart.
I sat up and swung my legs off the bed and sat there and cried; I really cried. Maybe it was the final realisation of my sexual orientation and that I loved Adrian and yearned for some kind of relationship with him, maybe it was Adrienne's announcement ... that whatever companionship I had gained with her, I was about to lose.
I was going to be alone again in the Autumn.
She tried to cuddle me round, but it was no good, I wanted to be alone and try to work out who ... or what ... I had become.
I went to the bathroom and locked myself in and cried a bit more.
I'd fallen in love with Adrian, and now he was disappearing in front of my eyes.