I woke the next morning to a sunny beautiful and warm day, went for a run, showered and dressed for breakfast. I called Carrie and said that breakfast was casual and that we would have time to change before the service. She said, Mike thanks for the call, I was wondering. I said breakfast would be in a slimy diner in the West End with great very unhealthy food. She laughed and said, I'll change. I told dad, I would get Carrie and be back. He said Mike you know the place, I'll meet you there. I got Carrie and no Sam, I started to wonder. Carrie came down looking like I needed to take her back upstairs for a quickie. Remembering the last time, I smiled and said good morning sexy. We drove to the diner and Carrie said damn you described this place perfectly. Dad was there with a woman and I thought, not again please. He introduced her as Alisa and I thought shit Bill's godmother. We sat down and I introduced Carrie and the coffee came and we ordered. Alisa said, so Mike from what I am hearing and reading you are quite the guy and have the high school world and the business world wondering what you are up to next. I laughed and said, well I do keep busy. She said you mother would have been proud and I just let that fall flat. Thankfully dad changed the subject and the food came and it was like eating breakfast with my mother, Carrie and I were both getting grilled and dad kept looking at me silently saying please don't respond. Thankfully breakfast was over and Carrie and Alisa were in front and I leaned and whispered to dad, what the fuck was that? He said, Mike she begged me and she will be at the service and there will be a bunch invited to the club and please feel free to invite anyone you want. I said can she be uninvited? Dad laughed and said no.
I told Carrie I was sorry about that and she laughed and said that I was growing up as a couple of months ago she would have been a puddle on the floor. I said that her and her parents were invited to the club after and she said thanks for the heads up. I dropped her off and as I opened the door, there stood Sam. I looked at him and said, dude it been a while WHATS up? He said can I walk you to the car? I said sure, we got to the car and I got a giant hug and he said, thanks for that attitude adjustment. I said well if you are going to the service, remember to thank the coach. Mike, now I'm really the ring master of my group and fuck it is fun and I have a very best friend. I said Sam starting Monday, I'm back so we can talk, right now I need to get home, I rubbed his head and said damn get a haircut. Damn, I'm sounding like my dad.
At home, I put a jacket on and went outside and made the mental trip to North Carolina. I just sat there no drink, no cigarette just me and my thoughts and Bill. Dad came out at some point and asked if I was coming to the service as I needed to change. I flew upstairs showered, shaved and found my best fitting suit, a white shirt and a red tie. Downstairs dad said so this is a very formal event for you, based on the dress. I said, dad that's correct. We took separate cars to the funeral home and inside it was just The three of us, me, dad and Bill. I went up to the casket, looked at him and started to sob, dad came up put his arm around me and said, Mike this was not your fault. I reached in my pocket and handed him the note saying this says it was. I composed my self and was sitting in the corner and Carrie and her family came in and there were hugs all around. Sam was nicely dressed with a jacket and no tie and Carrie was so sexy I was clubbing up and we held hands. More and more people came there was school people, Coach Weston the principal and a bunch of teammates. Then I saw Coach Conn and Coach B. I went over and said guys, I'm shocked to see you here. They said Mike, we are all family, we work together, we play together and we mourn together. I invited them to the Club and they said sure. Then I saw JJ and his family. They came over and we chatted for a while and Judy said Mike we found a house and I think it's on your street. I asked for the address and said damn, we didn't even know Aunt Janet and Mark were thinking about moving. They said what you talking about. I said that's my aunt's and uncle's and their son Ray's house. Oh, they said they had no kids and I thought damn now what. I said it's a great house, I spent a lot of time there. I invited them to the club. Then it was people from work and I gave Ruth special attention, was introduced to her husband and invited them to the Club along with Kyle and Jordan. There were a lot of my friends around and I was feeling great. I was thinking that the Club would be fun. At 2:00 the funeral director asked everyone to sit and that there would be a short service and that everyone was invited to South Hills Country Club. Once everyone was seated, I stood up and thanked everyone for coming. I said we are not a very religious family and while I hoped that didn't offend anyone, I was the service.
I took a deep breath and said William James Simmons was born a number of years before Michael James Simmons Junior was born and the names we were given and the timing of those names got us where we are today. Bill was named after mom's dad and I was named after my dad. Strange but true. Bill and I are very much the result of that relationship between my mom and dad. We all know that and in various ways we grew to accept it. Everyone was and dad and I remain very competitive. Mom and Bill on one team and dad and I on the other. There was always a winner and damn the outcome. I'm somewhat like that but am learning to win without a lot of rubble left behind.
Mom and dad had a stormy relationship and so did Bill and I. That did not mean we didn't love each other. There were many good moments. Bill and I had a lot of good times. However we were far enough apart in age that being close wasn't easy, he went to School in California and I was what? In 8th grade. Then he never came home, not once for the holidays and not once for the summer. After many personal issues, he came home and we were getting close. We were both addicted, him to drugs and booze and me to sports and being the best. When he came back there were ugly scenes between us but also great times and talks. I drove him to rehab and visited and he played games to get to see me and we talked and I promised him that while I would not always be available, if he called I would drop everything and be there. That I expected in return was for him to be sober and that I would be less competitive and that I would lose and win with grace and limit the emotional damage.
He moved in the apartment with Ryan and things seemed good. Then one day I just couldn't relax. Nothing made sense. I tried everything, reading, sitting in my favorite spot and mentally going to a sand dune in North Carolina but dam something hand me unsettled. Then my phone rang and I instantly knew. I answered saying Ryan, what did Bill do now? I was told that he had OD and was in very critical condition and here we are today. Well except for one thing. The next day I was handed an envelope by Ryan with my name written on it. I took the envelope and found dad and asked if I could be alone in his office. I lit a cigarette looked at the envelope put it on the desk, took a deep breath and opened it. I sat it on the desk took a big drag of the cigarette and unfolded the paper and there was one simple line. I reached into my pocket, took out the note, paused and read it out loud. "Mike, I'm sorry I could not be the brother you wanted, I love you Bill." I paused then continued saying, I dropped the letter and cried till there was no more tears. I left the letter in dads office went to my room locked the door put my headphones on and hit play. At some point I heard dad yelling Mike let me in. I yelled back not unless you can tell me how this wasn't my fault. He kept yelling and I grabbed my keys and went for a long ride. I talked to Jim and Carrie and eventually went back home
It took a while but I realized that mom and Bill were a team. Mom lost so often to dad that she quit. Quit to the point that she OD. Bill couldn't compete with me so he wrote a note and quit and he OD. Very, very sad but that's what it became a tragic loss of two lives. There is one thing that mom, Bill and I had in common and that is the ocean and sand dunes. Earlier, I mentioned I relax in a sand dune in NC. Well it was those very dunes where mom and Bill and I had our best times together. Mom died a few months ago and she was cremated and Bill and I were going to spread her ashes in a sand dune and I was thinking cape cod, far away from my spot. Now Bill will be cremated and Carrie and I on spring break will fly to North Carolina and we will spread their ashes together in my favorite spot, yes it really exists, so that we can be together. Dad in his will, has a chance to decide his final resting place but as fo me and I hope Carrie we will join mom and Bill and hopefully dad, thanks.
I went and sat down and the funeral director said that concludes the service, those that are available are welcome to join Mr. Simmons and Mike at the Country Club. I just sat there and Carrie came up and held my hand and eventually it was just Carrie and Bill and me. I got up thanked the funeral director and asked that he contact dad, when Bill's ashes were available.
Carrie said Mike, I love you and we got in the car, I took a deep breath, lit a cigarette and she flipped so I threw it out the window and drove to the Club. At the club Jake had a scotch and white wine ready and handed it to me and and I drained it and said, Jake no limit today. He said Mike, you drove here and I handed him my keys and said, someone will get me home. Carrie said I need another drink. Somewhat more relaxed I joined the party and was handed another drink with a warning again from Jake and I said Jake, I'm good, I promise.
I went up to Coach Conn and Coach B and introduced Carrie and reminded them that she was the other part of the package, not Jim. They both laughed and Coach B pulled me aside and said damn, you are one tough kid. I said coach walk with me, please. We went outside and were on the balcony overlooking the course and I said, Coach that was real except for one thing. He said I know, you don't care how you win or who is in the wake or how much rubble there is just so it's by the rules, I smiled and said correct. Now please tell me your read on JJ. Mike, look in the mirror. I said what? Coach said, he is a clone, except for the work ethic. In a contest you and him will both lose. I said coach, I have always won. He said Mike you might win against JJ but he will never quit, it won't be like your mom, Bill or even Ray. I said you know about Ray? He said Mike, I know everything about you, I'm still looking for a red flag. I said coach there are some but they are buried very deep and closely held. He looked at me and said dude just win and do it by the rules. Oh, I've asked your doctor to do a drug test and he said no, so I'm asking you to be tested this week. I shook my head and said I have an appointment on Tuesday and that will happen but tread lightly on integrity issues. He smiled and said, Mike I'm the ring master of your new circus, please remember that, I said I got that. Then he added you are a potential assistant ring master but you need to earn that. Then he said, Mike you brother was not your fault but damn you do have it figured out and it was nice to see a soft spot deep down inside you.
Back inside I found Carrie and she said shit Mike you haven't been to VT much and you already walk on water. I laughed and said I got that impression as well, just play by the rules and produce. I found JJ and I asked how he enjoyed last night. He said the bar thing was awesome, I said that was toned down from football. Just don't push it and show up sometime other than Friday night. I found Major Messer and said so I hear we are neighbors, he laughed and said, so I hear. We talked about work and I said I was in Monday afternoon and we should talk. He said fine but he needed an office. I said you can have mine or better yet ask Ruth, she runs the place. Then there was Brian and Tim and it was general shit and I finally found dad. I got a giant hug and he said that was quite a message you sent. I said who me, a message at a funeral? He laughed and said yes. I said only the just will hear the truth. He said what? I said later.
Then I found Ruth and her husband and gave her a big hug. I thanked them for coming and said, I need another favor? She laughed and said tell the egomaniac that all he had to do is ask the peon, and he would have had a place to park his ass. I said please put a pin in that ego, you have my permission. Her husband laughed and said damn dude, I like you. Almost all the junior teammates were there and I gathered them on the balcony found Jake and asked
Jack can I please have a pitcher, make that two of iced tea for my guys. They looked at me and said iced tea. Jim and JJ laughed and Jake returned with two pitchers of beer and said that's it Mike, I said thanks and opened my wallet and handed him a Ben Franklin and he smiled and said there is still a limit. I said thanks.
Back inside Carrie said Mike, I've been thinking about your talk, was that message you sent intended or was it a byproduct? I said what message? The one that said when it's all said and done no matter what you give a fuck? I smiled and said damn you have too good of a read on me. Just then there was an announcement that food would be served in the other room and it was an outstanding buffet. I did not eat and just visited with people and then it happened I ran into Alisa, she said Mike you are a real piece of work, degrading you mother like that. I said, look I was nice with you this morning but this afternoon I don't give a shit. Just like my mother you are a bitch and a mean bitch at that. Are you two twins? She said I would have been proud to be you mom's twin. I said so did you kill your son as well? She tried to slap my face and I said mom did that and dad put her in rehab. So you should leave before I ask the manager to throw you out. She said you don't have the balls and just then the manager came up and said, Mike do you need anything? I said yes, please have this bitch quietly escorted to her car and if she makes a fuss call the police and I'll gladly press charges. He said certainly Mike. Just then Carrie came up grabbed my hand and said I just knew you would do that and we both laughed. Back inside, I was charming and relaxed. The coaches were leaving and I said what are the NCAA rules about a player, flying coaches around the country. Oh, you didn't know I'm buying a plane. They just shook their heads and I noticed JJ walked them to the car. More relaxed now I chatted with a few people and then I saw Aunt Janet and Uncle Mark, I went over to them gave Aunt Janet a big hug shook Marks hand and asked so why did you sell your house? Mark asked, how did find out it was on the market like 30 minutes and sold in an hour. I laughed and said the guy who bought it is a new hire at dad's company. So why? Mike, we wanted something smaller so we got a 2 bedroom apartment. I asked about Ray and they said that they did not know as he does not return our calls. I said I was sorry to hear that and I meant it. Then I found dad and said talk with your sister, they just came in.
I was exhausted and and needed to get out of the Club and thankfully people started to leave. I found JJ and asked if he wanted to stop over the house and he said he had a date with Dee, I laughed and said have fun. It was the same with Rob and Hannah, but thankfully Jim and Ash were free and Carrie was always available. I told Jim to give me a half hour and the 4 of us could hang together. He said great and I went and found Carrie, took her hand and led her outside. I noticed she was cold and I took my jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. She laughed and said, that's the first time you have put clothes on me and we both laughed. I put my arm around her and we just stood there. It was just a quiet few minutes together. Then the door opened and dad, said would you two love birds get inside? Inside the place was empty and dad said he would be staying for a while but we should get out of there. He smiled and joined a buddy at the bar. Carrie said, Mike did your dad just tell us to go home and have sex? I said yes but Jim and Ash will be there. She said damn, that won't be a problem, I'm sure the guest room will work for them and I thanked Jake and we went to my place.
I pulled into the driveway and saw Jim was already there. Inside I found them in the game room making out and I said, sorry to interrupt but why don't you two just get a room. Jim got up took Ashley's and went upstairs. Carrie looked at me and said so why you standing there? About an hour later Carrie Ann I found Jim and Ashley back in the game room drinking scotch and wine. I got Carrie a drink and poured myself a scotch and we sat chatting and I said that I hoped we would get back to a "normal" routine. The girls finished their drinks and Ashley asked if Carrie wanted to go shopping. I was thinking please, please say yes and was thrilled when she said sure, let's go. Jim looked at me and we both smiled. Then I thought who in the fuck has a car? Ashley got up grabbed their coats and said let's go. Then I realized that she must have driven.
Once they were gone I refreshed our drinks and we sat chatting. Jim, at one point looked at me and said, so even with an eulogy you give messages and little peak as to the real Mike Simmons. I laughed and said, did I do that? Then I said, so Jim you manipulated this time alone for us, why? He said why not?
Comments are encouraged as this is my first story.
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