James

Part XII

I yawned and stretched my arms out. God, it felt like I had been in this damn office all day long. I looked over to the clock on my desk. Jeez! Three thirty-four. I groaned. I really had been there all day. I sat back in my office chair and let myself forget about final exams for a while. My mind wandered to the events of the past few months.

Ever since I had taken James home for Thanksgiving, my family seemed to have adopted him. I ended up taking him home to my parents' house about once a month. I didn't mind it, James loved it, my Mom was ecstatic, and my Dad bitched. All in all, everyone was happy.

We had gone with my folks to my Grandma Collins' house for Christmas, and two days before the holiday she made us take her to a gay bar "just for the hell of it." She danced and drank and had a big old time with her boys, and even went up to some girls and told them she was a seventy-year old lesbian and wanted a kiss. She embarrassed me half to death when she turned to me and asked me "when in the hell are you going to make an honest man of him, David?"

I had choked on my drink while my grandmother went on and on about how we were a perfect couple, and then she grabbed some twinky looking guy in shiny fabric. "Young man," she said, "look at these two. Don't you think they should get married?" The guy looked at her in utter disbelief, then to both of us. He stuttered out a yes and she let him go. James had been teasing me about that night ever since.

Valentine's Day had been another notable holiday. We had decided to buy each other gifts as tokens of our first one together. This nauseating example of love made all of our gay and straight friends gag at the table. We responded by kissing and slobbering all over each other, and one by one they all groaned and left the table, which suited me just fine. I wanted to open our gifts with just the two of us there, and it was the perfect way to get people to leave us alone. We opened our gifts, and in my box was a t-shirt with the word "Pitcher" in red over a baseball player. I looked up at James, who winked and ran his tongue over his lips suggestively. By this time, Barry had wandered back over, saw the t-shirt, and started screeching, "I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" He went over to Todd. "You owe me fifty."

I stared at them in confusion until Todd explained. "We always debated about whether you were a top or a bottom. The t-shirt kind of confirms it." I groaned. Just the type of thing they would bet on.

By this time, James had opened his box. His eyes widened and he burst into laughter. As Todd, Barry, and I looked on, he pulled out a nearly identical t-shirt, only this one was emblazoned with the word "Catcher." James looked at me and his gift to me, and then at my gift to him. He looked at Todd and Barry. "I swear we didn't plan this," he said.

Those t-shirts became standard wear for us on the rare nights when we had time to go out. We also had a pair of shirts made with the word "HIS" on the chest with an arrow pointed at the place where the other one would be standing. It was all too cute, and sometimes a little sickeningly sweet. Most of our friends thought it was nice, though.

I leaned back in my desk chair again, trying to forget the fact that I had ten more final exams to grade. I had done so much work for the classes I TAed for that the professor in charge had only given me one question to grade on the final exam. Unfortunately it was the main essay, and I had 245 total to grade. I had been at it since early in the morning. The good part was I got first crack at the tests and once I finished I would hand them off to the other TAs and get the rest of the time before graduation to relax.

My gaze went to the pictures on my desk. James and I had gone on Spring Break with Matt and Laura. It was sure interesting for the outside observer. Four drunk people paired off. One guy and the girl constantly making out, and the two other guys constantly making out. It sure made life fun for a week. One night Matt and I had gotten into a contest to see which one of us could make our partners yell the loudest during sex. I won, big time. James and Laura tried to give us the cold shoulders when they found out, but it blew over with a little coaxing.

The end of the semester was so anticlimactic for me. I had presented my dissertation already, and I passed my defense with flying colors. It was already bound and published, so all I had left to do was finish my teaching duties and I would be David Collins, PhD.

My proud reverie was broken by a soft knock on the door. I called out for the person to come in. The door opened to reveal Bryan Harris, a football player who had ended up in my section. "Hey Mr. Collins," he said as he walked into the office.

I turned and grinned at Bryan as he sat down. This kid was hot as hell. Brown hair spiked up, sexy green eyes, tan, with a chiseled face and a ripped body. Rumor had it the kid cut as wide a swath with the girls as he did the field with his running. For probably the hundredth time I thanked God that I had James, otherwise I would never have been able to keep my focus with a hottie like Bryan in my class. "Got my test graded yet?" he asked in a deep, smooth "Barry White" voice. I've heard very few white guys with voices like that.

"My part's done, yes. The other TAs still have to do their part, so the full test won't be graded until tomorrow night. You were at the test, you should know this."

He grinned sheepishly. "I was too busy trying to get Kelsey Baker's attention to listen, Mr. Collins."

I rolled my eyes. "Football and girls... man, if you spent nearly as much time on classes as you do on one of those two others, you'd be an A student."

"Yeah, well... dog's gotta get a bone," he said and winked.

I'll bet, I thought to myself. "Well, that's all I can do for you. You did fairly well on the essay and it's the biggest part of the test, so you definitely passed. That help you any?"

"Yeah, it's cool. Thanks Mr. Collins." He stood up. "You know, you were the coolest TA I had this semester."

I laughed. "Sorry Bryan, the grade's already written down."

He laughed, smooth and slow like molasses. "Yeah, I know. But you were really cool about everything. I'm grateful for all that you did for me."

I held out my hand. "Glad to help, Bryan. My pleasure."

Bryan grabbed my hand and shook it firmly. Then I noticed his gaze center on my chest. "Pitcher?" he asked. "I thought you played football, I didn't know you played baseball."

I looked away. "Umm, well, it's kind of hard to explain..."

Bryan then looked past me at the pictures on my desk. I had put pictures of James and me together there a long time ago. My office-mates knew I was gay and that James and I were serious. I wasn't at all sure how this jock would deal with that.

"Who's that guy with you?" Bryan asked. So much for hope that he would let it drop.

I looked at the picture he was pointing at. Laura had taken it of James and me at Hilton Head during Spring Break. We were both bombed out of our minds at the time. I had my arm around his waist and he had his slung over my shoulders. Our heads were touching and we both had big grins plastered on. I looked at it fondly. I hadn't shaved for a couple of days and was starting to look a little wooly. James looked great as always. I was wearing regular shorts-style swim trunks. James was wearing this tight-fitting square-cut suit that left nothing... and I do mean nothing... to the imagination.

Bryan looked a little closer at the pic, then at me. Then back at the pic, then to me. "Umm... this guy... is he... are you... wow. I had no idea."

I smiled. "Well, yes, he is my boyfriend and yes, I am gay."

Bryan's eyes widened. "I never would have guessed, man! I mean, I had this image of the guys that you always see at the booth for the campus fa... I mean, gay group and all that and figured they were these girly limp-wristed guys."

I laughed. "Stereotypes, dude. Next time you're in the locker room, think about that. I guarantee you at least one of the guys in there is gay."

He let out a deep breath. "Wow." He shook his head. Then he looked back at me. A slow, devilish smile spread over his face. "Pitcher, hmm? I get it now." He winked at me. "Does he enjoy being the catcher?" he said, nodding his head at the pic.

I grinned conspiratorially. "He looks happy, doesn't he?"

We both laughed in that typical jock, male-bonding way. We're all still guys, I thought. Bryan held out his hand again. "Well, best of luck, teach. I hear you won't be back."

"Nope," I said as I shook his hand again. "I'm out of here. Got the PhD."

"Cool," he said. "Well, take it easy. Look for me on SportsCenter."

"I will. Take care, Bryan." I turned back to my papers as he walked out. I casually looked up to watch him walk away. Boy had a damn tight ass, I thought to myself.

Just as I thought it, he turned his head to look back. I blushed, knowing he caught me checking him out. He grinned and winked, then he walked into the hallway.

About forty-five minutes later, I put the last of the papers on my desk. I scrawled a few notes on it then wrote my grade on it. Finished, I thought to myself. I took the stack of papers and walked down the hallway to the professor's office. I fished out the key and let myself in, where I put the stack on his desk. I wrote a note on a post-it. "Finished. You won't see me again until the day before graduation when I clean out my office. See ya! Dave."

As I walked back down the hallway, I heard the rhythmic clack of wheels hitting tile. I grinned and felt a slight pressure in my groin as it responded to my thoughts. James was fast approaching on his ever-present roller blades.

Sure enough, as I rounded the corner to my office, I noticed his fine ass skating through the door. I decided to have a little fun with him. I heard him sit down in the chair. I eased my way to the door, trying to be silent. I snuck my head around. Good. He was facing away from me.

In a flash, I snapped the lights off and rushed in and slammed the door shut. My office had no windows, and with the door closed there was no light at all. I heard James rustle around. "Shit, shit, shit! How the hell did the door close?" he muttered. "Just what I need." I heard him drop his blades to the floor. "Where the hell was that door?"

I took a step. "Hello?" he called. "Is anyone there?" I began stepping closer. I knew my office layout totally. This was going to be sooo much fun, I thought. "Dammit! I can hear you!" he yelled. "Who the hell is it? Dave? Is that you?" James moved around a little. "Hello?" He was beginning to sound a little scared.

"Come on, is somebody there?" I heard a little tint of desperation enter James' voice, and I felt a pang of guilt. Time to bring this joke to a conclusion. I rushed forward and grabbed him around the neck. He squirmed and struggled at first until I put my lips to his ear. "Don't you think the darkness is kind of exciting?" I whispered, then I stuck the tip of my tongue to the lobe.

James gasped, then chuckled. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled as he turned to me and socked me in the chest. "You had me scared!"

I bent to kiss his neck. "I'm sorry. It was just a joke."

He grabbed my chin and tilted my head up. As my eyes continued to adjust, I could see the smile spread over his face. "Don't let it happen again," he murmured as he felt me up. "And yes, the darkness is exciting."

I chuckled. "Very exciting," I whispered again as my lips descended to his while at the same time I pushed his shorts down his legs.

About an hour later, the lights were back on and the door was once again open. However, James and I were both more than a little disheveled. James took a sniff of the air. "Hmm," he frowned as he wrinkled his nose. "Smells like ass in here."

I looked at James as I straightened the stuff back on my desk where he had knocked it all to the floor before pushing me onto my back on the wooden top and mounting me like a jockey on Secretariat. "Gee, I wonder why?" I said sarcastically. James stuck his tongue out at me. "Watch that thing, you never know where it's been." James laughed as he pulled his shorts back on. "Besides, aren't you the one who always says a good bottom never has a dirty ass?"

"Yeah, well, we do need just a little advance notice if you tops want us to be lily-fresh. I forgot my dose of Summer's Eve today so I don't quite have that fresh feeling." James looked around and found his "Catcher" t-shirt and put it on. "You know, this is the first time I've worn this shirt to campus. Even with half the people off studying or testing I still got a lot of comments. You wouldn't believe it. And I've gotten more than a few sly looks and winks, too."

I laughed. "You know as well as I do that plenty of people watch ^ÑQueer as Folk.' People are bound to know."

"Yeah, well, I don't. I found your shirt online and thought it was cool, and more than a little appropriate. I had no idea I was buying into a cultural phenomenon."

"Bitch, bitch, bitch," I teased. "You'd better stop. You're taking over my job."

James looked at me. "Your job?"

"Yep," I said. "My job description. Got it when I was born. Said my responsibility was to bitch as much as possible about every little thing that happens." James rolled his eyes and pulled his blades back on. As I finished arranging things, I thought about how different everything was. Just since August I had loosened up so much. I was truly happy for the first time in my life.

I looked over at the source of so much of that and felt a warm flood of emotion. I thought about the conversation that we had had the night my grandmother had brought out the question of long-term commitment in her bulldozer-like way. James and I had sat in my grandmother's living room after everyone had gone to bed. I had hugged him close and listened to him sigh. "What do you think?" I asked.

"About what?" James murmured sleepily.

"Us. Marriage. Commitment."

James yawned. "Didn't we sort of settle that a while back when we got tested? I thought we committed then."

"We committed long-term, yes, but we never said anything about something really lasting. Something permanent, like marriage or a commitment ceremony or whatever."

"Do you want to do that?" James asked.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

I sat and thought. "Well, I always figured that sooner or later we would come to that. I just didn't think it would happen this soon."

I felt James nod. "I thought the same thing. I figured we would kind of coast along for a while and then get our lives settled and then do something." That had ended the discussion there. A few minutes later, we had headed to bed.

Now I stood there in my office, staring at the man I love, and I wondered what was stopping us. Neither of us had steady jobs yet, but I had some money in the bank and James certainly didn't have to worry about financial security. I was about to get my degree, he was too, and nothing was holding us back. Why don't we do something, I thought to myself.

"What are you thinking?" James asked.

"What?"

"Smoke is coming out of your ears, Dave. You're mulling over something serious. What is it?"

"Oh, I was just thinking it's time for us to get tested again. I'm looking forward to throwing the condoms away." I leered at James.

He grinned devilishly. "Are you sure that's all?" he asked.

"Yes," I said as I picked up my book bag.

James sighed. "You're lying, but I'll let it go for now. I'm in too good a mood." He skated out into the hallway. How in the hell does he do that, I wondered for what had to be the hundredth time as I followed him out.

I walked in the door to the apartment and Matt about knocked me down. "Come on Dave," he said as he grabbed my arm. "I need your help."

I pulled my arm away. "Can it wait five minutes for me to put my stuff down and take a piss?"

Matt huffed impatiently. "Yeah, but hurry up. Time is of the essence."

About a minute and a half later, I emerged from the bathroom to see Matt hopping back and forth. "Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked.

"I'll tell you in the car. Let's go."

Matt pulled out of his space with a screech of tires as I hurriedly put on my seatbelt. "Damn, dude," I began, "could you try not to kill me today? I'd like to live to see my PhD."

Matt grinned. "Sorry, dude. I'm just in a hurry."

I sat back. "All right, spill it. What's the deal?"

"Well, you know a bunch of us are going out tonight to eat. You, me, Laura, James, a few other people from school, to celebrate school about to be over and all."

"Right."

"Well, I'm planning to have a surprise for Laura tonight. We^Ñre going to a jewelry store"

"What for?" A suspicion entered my mind.

He turned and smiled. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

I flopped back into my seat. "Dude, this is a surprise! When did you all decide this?"

Matt couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Well, we've discussed taking another step in our relationship for a while. I've been to her folks' place a few times, and they like me. And I know I'm in love."

I nodded. "And how does she feel? She's about to end her undergraduate career. What's she going to do?"

"She hasn't decided yet. She can stay in the sorority house until the end of the summer, and she's going to keep her job at the department store for now."

I looked at Matt. "How you going to pay for this? Have you sized the ring? How have you planned all this?"

Matt's grin grew even wider. I wondered if his ears would survive it. "I got her size from her college ring. And I have some money put away. The ring is ordered and all, I just have to go pick it up."

"Uh-huh. And why does this require me?"

Matt scowled at me. "Because you're my best friend and I want to share this with you. And I want you to be my best man."

My eyebrows climbed. "Really? Your best man?"

Matt grinned again. "Who else would I ask?"

I laughed. "You sure you want this? I mean, asking a gay man to plan your bachelor party, you never know what's going to turn up..."

"Fuck that," Matt said. "I don't give a shit how queer you are, Dave, I never have. Regardless of anything, you're my best friend and that's all that matters."

I sat back, feeling really good about myself. Then Matt started laughing. "How many people commented on that shirt today, dude?"

I laughed. "A few. James got even more comments."

"Yeah, I figured you saw him today when you were at your office."

"How did you know that?"

Matt looked at me. "One, you have cum in your hair, and two, you smell like you've been fucking. Can you two be alone for one minute without getting the urge to merge?"

I socked him in the shoulder as we headed to the jewelry store.

"I thought she was going to jump through the ceiling," James remarked as we walked in his apartment. The dinner that evening had gone absolutely great. Laura had screamed when Matt opened the box in front of her, and she went around showing it to everybody, including the servers and the bartender.

"She was pretty happy, wasn't she?" I remarked as I sat down in the chair by the window.

James sat down in my lap and cuddled up to my chest. "Yeah, she was."

We sat there, holding each other for a while. I breathed in his scent. "Mmm," I purred. "This is nice." James just nodded his agreement.

We sat silently, but the question couldn't be stifled in my throat. "James?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm?"

"What did you think tonight when Laura asked us when it would be our turn?"

James was silent. "A little put on the spot, why?"

"No reason," I said.

At that, James sat up. "Uh-uh, no way Dave. You've done that to me twice today, and this time I'm calling you on it." He got on his knees on the floor and looked into my eyes. "Talk to me. What's up?"

I got out of the chair and went to the window. I took a deep breath. "James, I've never been happier in my life as I am right now. I don't want to lose that."

James walked up behind me. "You aren't in any danger of it."

"I know," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. "But some part of me wants to shout it to the world. This is my lover, my husband, whatever you want to call it. He and I are together."

James smiled. "Haven't we done that?"

"Well, yes, but not in the way I want to. James, I want to make it totally official, I want us to be more than a couple, I want us to be more than exclusive. I want us to be full partners in every sense of the word, and not just in name only."

James looked very solemn. "Dave, what exactly are you asking me?"

I swallowed and gritted my teeth. The moment of truth was here. I took a deep breath, then turned to face the man who was my whole world, my life, the air I breathed. I took his hands, then I sank to one knee in front of him. "James, will you marry me?"

He blinked. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "As a heart attack." I reached into my pocket and picked out the box I had purchased earlier in the day at the jewelry store. I opened it up, revealing two identical gold rings. "These are for when it happens. I don't think they make an engagement ring for men." I chuckled a little bit.

James remained deathly quiet. He dropped to his knees in front of me. "Are you sure you know what you're getting into?" he asked in a quiet whisper. "Neither of us has a job waiting in the wings. I'm still on the outs with my family. I mean... this is something big!"

I stared at him for a few seconds. "James, no one says we have to get married tomorrow. We can wait a while. Enjoy the idea of total commitment."

James looked down at where our knees were touching. He sat there, staring at the floor for what seemed like forever. I waited, growing more certain with each passing moment that he was going to turn me down. Then he looked up, and I saw something I had never seen in his eyes. They shimmered with tears, and I saw the same love that was always present, but there was something else, a certain look that I couldn't describe with words. He bent to kiss me on the lips, then he whispered so quietly I wasn't sure I heard it. "Yes, Dave, I will marry you."