James

Yikes! I never cease to be amazed at some of the emails I am getting from some people. Incredible. Thank you all so much. I want to mention to all of you that I never delete an email from a reader who contacts me. Every single one of them is saved in a folder and I periodically go back and review them for inspiration and maybe a pick-me-up when I read them. To those of you who have become my "regulars," thanks! And to those who are first-time writers, a thank you to you too. For those of you who haven't written, piss on you. Just kidding! Thanks to you for reading.

I want to apologize for leaving several important people off my introductory messages with the last few chapters. First, to everyone who wrote me during my encounter with the unpleasant side of life (and I'll leave it at that), thank you so much. Your emails meant a lot to me.

Second, I forgot my devoted fan. Thanks Alex.

To Mike and Alan... I'm sorry if my absence and lack of contact offended you. I wish we could talk again.

Part XV

"Yeah, blow it out your ass!"

The sound of honking and yelling woke me up from my nap. I shook my head a little, trying to clear out the cobwebs. My whole right side ached from being pressed up against the door and window, and I was sure I had a huge red mark on my neck from the seatbelt. Then I became aware of Dave's loud cursing again and I looked over in time to see him flip the bird to a little red car that we were zooming past. I frowned. "Uh, Dave, what's going on?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Stupid fucker in his stupid fucking little car cut me off a minute ago. Bastard!" he yelled as he swung back into the right lane.

I shook my head, hoping that Dave's road rage wouldn't kill me. Then again, I thought ruefully, that would solve the problem of how to deal with my family. I looked down at the clock and my eyes bulged out. "One-thirty?" I squeaked out. "Damn, Dave, I was supposed to relieve you an hour ago!"

Dave shrugged. "You were asleep, I felt okay, so I kept driving. Besides," he grinned and winked, "you looked too cute to wake up all snuggled up in the sun."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So where are we?"

"Interstate 65 just south of Indianapolis."

My eyes widened again. "Indiana? How come we're in Indiana already?" I looked down at the speedometer. The needle was fixed between eighty-five and ninety. I then noticed how fast the bland landscape of Indiana was passing by. "Have you been driving this fast all morning?"

Dave laughed. "Uh-huh. Managed to avoid the highway patrol, too."

"Oh, God," I moaned. I reached up and caressed the dash. "Sorry about the punishment, baby. I'll be driving soon and we'll drive at a more humane speed." I emphasized humane' with a pointed look at Dave, who just stuck his tongue out and flipped me off. "Promises, promises," I chided. "Don't get any ideas, anyway. I suspect my parents, for all their progression,' will still have us in separate bedrooms."

Dave looked pained. "How in the world are we going to make it?" he asked.

I leaned back. "Don't ask me, I'm not the sex-crazed one."

Dave looked at me in utter disbelief. "Oh yeah?" he asked, his voice rising. "Who was it that woke me up the night before last at 2 am, knowing he had a major interview early the next morning, by saying, `Dave, wake up, I need it and I need it now'?"

I grinned. "Horniness has no clock."

Dave yawned. "Don't I know it. I don't think I've gotten a full night's sleep since we started going out."

I ignored Dave's remark and changed the subject. "When is it my turn to drive?"

"I don't know. When do you want to eat?" As if on cue, my stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. "I guess that's my answer," Dave teased. He signaled and turned off at the next exit.

Forty minutes, a grilled chicken sandwich and a salad, and a super-sized Big Mac meal for Dave later, we were back on the road with me behind the wheel. This time I set the needle firmly on seventy. Dave looked over and grimaced. "How the hell did I end up getting engaged to such a grandpa?"

"Just lucky, I guess. Besides, you never complained before. I guess the compensation's more than adequate." I reached over and patted Dave's fly with my last sentence.

Dave snorted. "Yeah, I guess so." He looked out the window for a bit. "Man, this place is boring! Are there any hills around here?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Jeez," Dave said. "Cornfields and grain elevators. Woo-hoo."

We drove in silence for about ten minutes before Dave turned back to me. "You're getting nervous, aren't you?"

My mouth clenched. "With every passing mile."

Dave nodded thoughtfully, then his face lit up in a grin. "I've got an idea. I think I can get you to relax a little and think about good stuff."

I sighed. "Go ahead. I'll try anything."

"We established that on Halloween night so I don't think we need to go there." Dave flinched in pain as I reached out and pinched his nipple. "Okay, okay! Remember how I filled you in on my family and stuff when I took you home for Thanksgiving?"

I nodded. "Sure. Helped a lot, too."

"Well, how about you do that with me now?"

I had to smile. "Okay, I'm game. Where do you want me to start?"

"Sisters. I've met one and heard about the other, so go from there."

I nodded and began thinking. "Okay, we'll start off with the one you met. Deanna. She's the smart one, valedictorian of her class. She has an ability to get along with everyone. I see her going into politics someday."

Dave grinned. "Sounds like someone else I know who has never met a stranger."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, Dee loves to have fun, but she can be kind of cerebral. She loves to watch Jeopardy and shows like that. Shes totally obsessed with getting her career started over all else. Shes majoring in marketing in college." Dave absorbed this info, and motioned for me to go on. "Okay, then there's Elizabeth. She's a doll. Always been really rambunctious, even when we were little. She was always getting into trouble, then she'd bat her eyelashes in this `who, me' style and never got blamed for anything. She's really pretty, and I'm not surprised she's getting married so soon after high school."

"Why do you say that?" Dave asked.

"Well, she is a lot like our Mom. She is the homemaker type person, loves doing stuff around the house. I can see her finding a nice local guy and getting married, and having a quiet happy life."

Dave grinned. "Not the style of life you wanted?"

I scrunched my face as I considered it. "Well, it depends. Did I want to stay in rural Kentucky and marry some local girl and squeeze out a few kids? Nah, you know very well how I feel about that. But I know all about wanting a quiet, happy life. That describes my parents' marriage totally. Neither of them have a college education, they married right out of high school, and everything was great. Well, until their oldest decided he liked dick more than pussy."

Dave looked at me sternly. "Save it for later. Go on about your sisters."

"Okay, okay. Then there's Lauren. Lauren was still in elementary school when I left, and she and I only talked briefly the other day when I called. I don't even know how much she remembers about me. I do remember that she was absolutely in love with some actor in teeny movies. I can't even remember his name now. She showed signs of being another Elizabeth." I sighed. "Lord help us if she is." Dave laughed.

"Then there are my two brothers. Gary is the younger one. Being the youngest of the whole family, he had to be different. He's quiet, always stealing off in the middle of the day to just lie in the field, staring at the sky. He was a deep kid, even then. I wonder what direction he's gone in," I mused. Then my thoughts turned to my other brother and I felt my whole body tense.

Dave noticed my silence. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Just thinking about my other brother. Paul." I looked out onto the road. "He and I had a special relationship, Dave. We were tight. Really tight."

Dave put his hand on mine. "He's the one you're worried about the most, isn't he?"

I nodded, trying to blink away the tears that sprung to my eyes as I thought of the look my brother gave me when I came home. "I don't know what he's going to say to me, or if he's going to say anything. Paul was always a little more reserved than me, a little more adept at hiding his feelings."

Dave squeezed my hand. "Hey, tell me some more about him. Maybe that will clear all the worry away."

I glanced over and smiled. "Okay. Hmm," I thought. "Yeah. Well, Paul's a little more of a country boy than I am. He and I both were always out on the farm doing stuff, but he was the one who wanted the big-ass truck with all the chrome and big tires and stuff. He always said he wanted to get one of those loud mufflers, and I told him that if I ever caught him with one I was going to wrap it around his neck. So I don't know if he ever did.

"He played football, baseball. I remember the time he tried to chew tobacco," I said as I started laughing. "He had it in his mouth for three seconds before he threw up." Dave and I both laughed. I smiled fondly. "Everything I did, he had to do. My grandmother always hummed `Me and My Shadow' when we would come over, because Paul was everywhere I was. When Dad let me ride a horse alone for the first time, Paul cried because Dad wouldn't let him."

Dave made a face. "Did it ever get on your nerves?"

I chuckled. "Not for a second. I loved the attention when I was younger. And as we grew up, he seemed to know when I wanted some time to myself. Although," I said with a grimace, "there were some weird moments when I was ten and discovered the joys of masturbation. I sure didn't want my kid brother around to watch me jack off. So I went off to the barn, to the truck, anywhere to avoid him when I got horny. And believe me, it wasn't easy." Dave was howling with laughter. "It was only bad for about a year or two. Then I figured it was time to let him in on the secret, and he never bothered me again."

Dave frowned for a second. "Umm, I don't know how to ask this, but I'm just kind of curious. Is he, ummm... cut?"

I let out a belly laugh. "No, he isn't. Nobody in my family is. I actually asked my Dad why I had my skin still, and he told me his dad wasn't cut, none of his uncles or brothers were cut, and he didn't have it done to me or Paul. When Gary was born, he was left natural. And before you ask, no, Paul doesn't wear underwear either. That's a little habit I picked up from Dad, and Paul picked it up from me."

Dave gave me a strange look. "That sounds like an interesting story."

I grinned. "Not as interesting as it sounds." I maneuvered us around a slow-moving car. "We were out fixing a fence one day and Dad had to take a piss. So he walked around the truck and let fly. I had to get something out of the bed and I noticed he wasn't wearing any underwear. Well, you know me, always curious and never one to keep a question to myself. So I asked him where his drawers were. He just rolled his eyes and said, `Son, that's one reason being unclipped is a good thing. No chafing on your dick head when you freeball it. Besides, it allows for easy access when you piss and at other times.' When he said that, he clapped me on the shoulder and wagged his eyebrows. I was eleven, and sure didn't want to think about my folks having sex, so I just got disgusted which made him laugh even more.

"But, from that day on I left the underwear off. Mom seemed to figure it out when none of my underwear made it into the dirty clothes anymore. Of course, it was only a matter of time before Paul discovered it and started going without himself. That boy would do anything I did. Mom had to warn me constantly to be careful because she didn't want me hurt and also because Paul would do anything I did."

Dave shifted in his seat. "Well, since we started talking about equipment, there's something else I'm curious about."

"Stop," I said. "I already know what you're going to ask. Yes, it is. It runs in the family." Dave's eyes got huge. I laughed. "You know, that's exactly the reaction I got when this one girl who I went out with found out what I was packing. She'd asked me if it was just me, or if it ran in the family. I later found out she went to bed with Paul to find out for sure. If I'm not mistaken, that's when Paul lost his virginity." Dave's mouth was hanging open. "Close your mouth Dave, you're going to catch flies. Especially around here," I added. "So, are there any other questions you have about my male relatives' equipment?"

"Ahh, no. None at all." Dave was blushing to his roots. I loved to tease him. He was so cute when he was embarrassed. Not a lot made him blush, but when it did it was spectacular.

I turned my hand over and squeezed Dave's hand. "Thanks, Dave."

"For what?"

"For taking my mind off everything. I needed that."

Dave smiled. "You'd do the same." He leaned over and we kissed lightly.

I looked over at Dave. Sound asleep. Now I know why he left me asleep before. He looked so cute snuggled up in the seat. I looked down the highway. We had been off the interstate for about thirty minutes, and had about fifteen miles left to go. I took a deep breath and fought down the anxiety that threatened to rise up at any second. I looked back at Dave. "Wake up, sweetheart," I said as I lightly shook his shoulder.

"Mmm, not now, James. Jack off or something, I'm tired this morning," he mumbled.

I cracked up. That took the cake. I had to pull off the road I was laughing so hard. Dave shook his head and finally woke up. He looked around with a confused look. "Where the hell are we?"

I stopped laughing long enough to choke out, "Welcome to Kentucky, Dave."

Dave looked around at the trees and fields. "This is it?" he asked, which only made me laugh harder. He looked back at me. "What the hell are you laughing about?"

I was wheezing with giggles. "What you said when I tried to wake you up! Hee hee... you told me to jack off and let you sleep."

Dave's eyes widened. "I said that?"

I just nodded and cracked up again. "So sometimes you wish I would just roll over and play with myself instead of wanting to involve you when I'm horny in the morning?" I asked between chuckles.

"No! Of course not. Well, maybe once in a while," Dave said sheepishly. "But I never actually say it! And I'm always glad I didn't."

I rolled my eyes and punched Dave lightly in the arm. "Well, next time I wake up horny, I'll let you sleep."

Dave looked at me in mock horror. "Don't even think about it!"

We both laughed and I pulled back onto the highway. Dave peered out the windshield. "I expected to see white fences and bluegrass and all that. Churchill Downs. Rupp Arena, that kind of stuff."

I looked at Dave. "You are such a tourist," I said and laughed. "Churchill is in Louisville, which is that way," I said as I pointed northwest. "Rupp is in Lexington, which is that way." I pointed northeast. "And we don't have white fences. Those are usually in Bluegrass country, the thoroughbred farms around Lexington."

"Ah," Dave said. "Pretty country, now that I'm awake enough to appreciate it. So how much farther?"

I looked around. I knew each inch of this road like that back of my hand. "Not too far. You'll know we're getting close when you see all the mailboxes that say `Kennedy.' " In response to Dave's inquisitive look, I explained. "Almost all of my family live within about twenty or thirty miles of my house. Most within ten miles of it. You see, my family lives on the old home place. Grandad and Grandma moved to a smaller house in town about fifteen years ago so they could be closer to their friends and the store and stuff. Dad and Mom moved into the big house. All my aunts and uncles live close by."

"Does your grandfather still work on the farm?"

I nodded. "Sure he does. He still is main owner, so he has to sign off on all the important stuff. Dad does all the regular everyday stuff like buying feed and all, but Grandad has to sign off on sales and major purchases. It's all set down in the partnership. Grandad says if you're going to have a family business and still keep the family together, you have to have everyone's responsibilities set down in a contract. Grandad is out at least four times a week and on Saturdays, at least he was when I left. I don't know about now."

"What about your aunts and uncles?" Dave asked.

"They all live close by, like I said. All of my uncles still do some work on the farm, but not as much as Dad does. My cousins all do some work to help out, too. All of my aunts and uncles get a share of the money from the farm, so they help out when they can, but some of them have their own places and businesses." I looked out and saw my Uncle Donald's mailbox. I took a deep breath. First one in the line.

Two miles later, I saw the main drive. I slowed down and put on my left blinker. I pointed out to Dave, "Here it is." The drive was paved from the road to the main house, then was gravel the rest of the way around. I looked out at the familiar sights and waves of emotions passed. Familiarity, comfort, and happiness warred with the guilt, pain, and sadness that I still felt as I remembered the morning I left.

Dave looked over at me. He grabbed my right hand off the steering wheel. "Squeeze. As hard as you have to." I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath and squeezed Dave's hand. When I opened them, Dave was looking at me in concern. My hand was white with the death grip I had on Dave's hand. I smiled weakly and he let go. I started down the drive again.

Before long, the house came into view. It wasn't a huge house, but fairly large. Two stories and brick, surrounded by older trees. Mom had been busy this spring, I thought to myself as I noticed all the flowers and plants on the porch and in small beds. Memories came to my mind like bubbles. Running around the yard with my cousins, Paul and my sisters in tow. Family barbecues. Christmas dinner. Tears again popped to my eyes. To distract myself, I started pointing out stuff to Dave.

"Over there, that's where our old swing was when I was little," I said as I pointed out an old oak tree. "The barns are back there. You can't really see them for the trees." I pulled around to the rear of the house where the garage was. Life had been good to the folks, I thought to myself. They'd finally been able to put in a pool. I laughed. "Dad wanted to put in a pool for as long as I can remember," I said. I stopped the car, put it in park, and turned it off. Then I quietly laid my head down on the steering wheel.

Dave didn't say a word, he just put his hand on my shoulder. I breathed deeply for a second. Then I sat up. I looked at Dave. "You ready?" I asked.

"If you are, then I am," he said.

I nodded, and then got out. Familiar smells assaulted me and again my mind was flooded with memories. Bringing in hay to sell and for my uncle's cattle, cleaning out the barns, my mother's favorite flowers... everything was so familiar. I couldn't believe I was really back home. Then I caught another whiff. Chocolate cake. My mother's special chocolate cake. I inherited my sweet tooth from my mother, and we both loved chocolate like no one else in our family. She only made that cake on special occasions, so the fact that she made it for my homecoming caused my heart to leap with a little bit of hope.

Dave had walked around the front of the Wagoneer to join me. I looked at him and smiled. "What do you think?"

Dave nodded and smiled. "Very nice. I can see why it was so much fun to grow up here."

I laughed. "Keep in mind the pool is a recent addition." Dave laughed.

Then the door opened. My breath caught as a figure walked out. I relaxed when I recognized Deanna. She ran over and grabbed me in a hug. "Ah, Jamie, you're home!" She didn't want to let me go.

"It's good to be here, Dee." At that moment, I meant it. The good memories were still in my head and Dee's welcome helped those along.

Dee finally let me go and turned to Dave. She hugged him. "So, what do you think?" she asked.

Dave smiled again. "Very nice."

Dee laughed and she looked at me. Her eyes became a little moist. "I always hoped to see you back here again someday." Tears came to my eyes as we hugged again.

We pulled apart and I looked around. "So where's everyone else?"

As if on cue, the back door opened again and another pretty blond girl came out. A big grin came to my face. "Liz!" I yelled out.

Elizabeth ran over much as Dee had, and she grabbed me in a hug. "Hey ugly brother! You finally got here!" She let me go. "And you must be Dave! Dee's told me a lot about you and Jamie said some stuff the other day." She looked at Dave. "Excellent taste, big brother." I rolled my eyes as Dave blushed. "So, how was your trip? Did you have problems with traffic? What do you think of the pool? I'm so excited that you're home!"

Liz always did talk a mile a minute, I thought. I held up my hand. "Whoa, whoa! Breathe, Liz, breathe!"

Dee and Liz both laughed. Liz looked at Dave. "He always did have to get me to stop. You see, when I get excited I just start talking and talking and nobody can shut me up and then I just end up getting on everyone's nerves because I go on and on without stopping and..."

"Liz!" Dee and I both yelled. Dave was shaking his head in amazement. Then the door opened again. My breath died in my throat. I broke out in a sweat as the figure walked over to where we were all standing. Dee and Liz moved back a little to let the woman in. She walked up to me with a completely unreadable look. I swallowed nervously but didn't look away from her brown eyes.

She stood toe to toe with me and looked me up and down. Then her gaze met mine again. I then noticed the sheen in them. "My baby," she choked out. Tears came to my eyes too as I looked at my mother for the first time in nearly six years.

She took me into her arms. "My baby's come home." I choked as the tears flowed freely down my face. For a few minutes, neither of us moved from our embrace. Dee and Liz were both crying, and I saw Dave wipe his eyes slightly.

I pulled back and looked at her. Mom had held up very well, although she had a few more lines on her face than before. She smiled gently at me. "Welcome home, James." I smiled. "You look well."

"So do you," I said as I sniffled. Then I reached out for Dave. "Mom, this is Dave Collins. Dave, my mother, Linda."

Dave held out his hand and bowed slightly. "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

I noticed a strained look come into my mother's face, but she recovered quickly. She took a quick look at me and then back to Dave. Her face became a mask, totally unreadable again. "Yes, likewise," she said in an even voice as she shook his hand. I noticed something in her look before she let go. I looked at Dave, who looked back to me. The uncertainty flowed between us.

Mom let out a breath. "Well, so you're here. You're both," she said, emphasizing both, "here. Come on in, I'm sure you'd like a snack." She took another quick look at Dave before she turned to go inside.

I looked at Dee. "I told you," I muttered. "She doesn't want us here."

"Now Jamie, stop it. She just needs some time to get used to it," Liz said.

"Time?" I said loudly. "Whatever. I know Mom, and she was hardly friendly to Dave. I'm telling you, she doesn't want him here, and if he's not wanted, then I'm not either."

Dee sighed. "Look, James, this is a two-way street here. You can't have instant acceptance. Mom has to get used to you and Dave, and there's no way around it. Now come on inside. Dad, Lauren, and Gary are inside." Dee and Liz turned around and walked to the door.

I turned to Dave. "Still want to do this?" I asked.

Dave looked at my sisters and back at me. "Yeah, I do." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Look James, you have a choice here. You can stay mad and leave, or you can work through the pain to finally get back your family. What's it going to be?"

I looked around. There was no denying that I had deeply missed this place, even if I had never admitted it to myself. I looked back into Dave's blue eyes. "Okay," I said.

Dave smiled. "Good. Remember, I'm here. I'm right here with you."

I hugged Dave. "You don't know what a source of strength that is to me right now."

I let him go and then grabbed his hand. "Come on," I said. We walked, hand in hand, to the back door.

Talk about a strained affair, I thought to myself as I looked around the table. Chocolate cake and ice cream, and cold, strained silence. What a party. Mom sat at one end, Dad at another. Dee, Liz, Lauren, and Gary sat at their usual places. I sat opposite my usual spot so I could sit next to Dave. Paul had apparently decided to skip our little family reunion by running out of the house about thirty minutes before I arrived, claiming to have forgotten some random errand. Yeah, right.

"This is delicious cake, Mrs. Kennedy," Dave said, breaking the silence. As he spoke, I noticed a glance between my parents. My temperature slowly began to rise.

"Thank you," Mom said. She then promptly looked back at her cake. I rolled my eyes and looked at Dave and smiled. He shrugged.

"So, how does it feel to have your masters, Jamie?" Liz asked.

I smiled. "Pretty good. The job market is kind of slow out there now, but I'm pretty confident I'll have something before the fall."

"You mean they hire people like you to teach? I thought they didn`t let gays teach," my Dad said.

My eyes widened and I glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"James, don't raise your voice to your father like that," my mother chided.

"Like hell!" I yelled. "I want to know what he means by that!"

"Calm down," my father said. "I didn't mean it like it sounded."

"Oh, like there's another way I could take that?" I asked incredulously.

"James, I was trying to lighten the mood."

"By making fun of me being gay?"

My father sighed deeply. "Look James, I don't know how to talk to you anymore. What can I say that won't set you off? What do you want me to say?"

I looked down at my untouched cake. What could he say, indeed. Maybe I should just stop reacting and try practicing what I preach all the time. I looked up at the ceiling, then at my father. "I don't know," I mumbled.

My mother fumbled with her fork. "Look, James, we won't pretend to be comfortable with this, even now. It's very difficult."

I looked at the table, then at my mother. "It's not difficult for me? Look at it from my point of view."

"James, we do understand how you felt. We dropped the ball, and we feel terrible. I won't say that we understand, or even approve. But you are our son."

I nodded at her and looked at my dad. He swallowed, then he nodded and smiled. "Okay," I replied. "And what about Dave?"

Mom and Dad shared a look. "What about Dave?"

"The two of you have been barely courteous since we arrived," I said. "He's part of the deal. You know that I love him, and he loves me."

Mom looked down. "James, honey, we know that, but..."

"No, don't say it's difficult," I said, getting a little hot under the collar. "I understand this is all new, and I'm willing to take it slowly. But I'm not going to stand by while you treat him like some criminal."

"Now James, we haven't treated him like a criminal," Dad chided.

I rolled my eyes. "No, you just talk about him like he isn't here. Like you did just now?"

Dad frowned. "Okay, you're right. I'll do better. Starting right now," he said as he stood up. "Welcome to our home, Dave." Dad shook his hand. Dave smiled and returned the shake. Step one, I thought to myself.

"Separate bedrooms aren't so bad," Dave remarked as I put his other bag down. "It's not like we weren't expecting it."

"Yeah, I know," I said as I sat down on the bed. "I guess I should be glad they've decided to acknowledge your existence."

Dave laughed. "It was getting a little frosty down there."

I stood up and hugged him. "You've been great so far. I love you so much." I kissed him lightly, then we touched foreheads.

"Ahem." A soft cough interrupted us. It was my little sister, Lauren.

"Hey Lauren," I said. "What's up?"

"Not much. Can I come in?" she asked softly.

Dave smiled. "Sure. I was just going to unpack some."

Lauren came in and sat on the bed next to me. She was growing into a lovely young woman. "I wanted to talk to the two of you. I wanted to let you know that it's okay with me that you two are together."

I smiled at her, then at Dave. I touched her shoulder. "Thanks, Girly-girl. I'm glad you said that."

Lauren giggled as I said my old nickname for her. Lauren had been very proper and feminine as a little girl, more so than even Elizabeth. I called her Girly-girl from age four on. "I wish Mom and Dad would ease up. I know it sucks, but they'll get over it in time."

I looked at the ceiling. "I hope you're right."

She leaned against my shoulder. "Don't worry, Jamie. I am. They've talked about you a lot. We have this new minister at church. He isn't nearly as critical as the old guy who was here when you left. He's pretty progressive. I know Mom and Dad have talked to him about you, and he was one of the reasons they've eased up as much as they have."

I looked at Dave in surprise. "Well, that's nice to hear." I breathed out a deep breath. "So how come this guy is so easy?"

Lauren looked at the door. "Well, I have talked to him too. He told me his sister is a lesbian, so he knows firsthand how tough it is on the families. He's helped them a lot." Lauren stood up and walked to the window and looked out. "I can tell you it's been tough on them today. I think they thought they were ready for you to come home with Dave, but it still kind of caught them by surprise, the actual reality of it. Brother Bill has helped a lot, with all of us. Well, except Paul."

Dave looked away. I laid back on the bed. "Why not Paul?"

Lauren frowned. "Yeah, I know. We all went into counseling with him several months ago. It was when Liz laid her foot down about inviting you to her wedding. Mom and Dad went, then soon we were all going. Paul refused to go. He never said why, and Mom and Dad didn't make him. I think he still has some stuff to work through."

I felt this great sadness wash over me. "Figures," I murmured.

Lauren sat next to me again. "Hey, ease up big brother. It'll work out."

I looked at her fondly. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you, Girly-girl."

Lauren laid her head on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Jamie. All's forgiven."

I wrapped my arm around her and then we both stood up. "Okay, time for you to give your future brother-in-law a hug, too."

Lauren laughed and gave Dave a big hug. "I have to say, Jamie, you have good taste. He's quite a hunk." Dave blushed deeply. I cracked up.

The rest of the afternoon went like a whirlwind. By evening, Paul was still nowhere to be found. I got re-settled in my own room and talked stuff over with Dee and Liz while Dave tossed a football with Gary. Even at thirteen, Gary was showing signs of being an excellent athlete. He thought it was so cool to have a former college football player there and immediately begged for Dave to show him some cool stuff. Dave was all too happy to oblige. Gary was the way that he got to Dad, because Dad hung out and watched the two younger guys interact. Before long, Dad was also throwing the football and laughing. I watched out the window and smiled. Step two, I thought.

I turned back to Dee and Liz. Dee was sitting in my desk chair, Liz was on the bed. The room was completely unchanged since I left nearly six years ago. All my trophies and posters were exactly the same. "So what did they do with my room while I was gone?"

Dee looked around. "Mom would come in and clean once a week with the door closed. Sometimes she would sit in here and I would hear her crying."

I sighed. "Wow." I looked at Liz and decided to brighten the mood. "So what's this I hear about you moving your wedding, kiddo?"

Liz grinned. "Well, you know I had originally thought we would get married at Christmas. Well, we decided to wait a little longer because of the problems getting details organized in so short a time. Then we decided we needed more time to get used to the idea of marriage, so we put it off until next year."

I nodded my head understandingly, then looked at Dee, who rolled her eyes. "It was like she would come in every night after going out with him and we were going, `I wonder how long has she put it off this time'."

Liz threw a pillow at Deanna. "I wasn't that bad. Besides, I thought we needed the time together without all the hub-bub of the wedding."

I smiled. "Well, I think you made a good choice. Weddings are tough enough to plan, but on short notice? Nightmare." I sat down and played around with an old Nerf ball.

"Speaking of weddings," Dee said, "I want more details about you and Dave."

"Yeah," Liz chimed in. "How did you land such a hot guy?"

"Get off me," I said, laughing. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"Yes," they said at the same time.

I groaned. "Come on, was I that hard to live with?"

"Jamie, you could be totally obnoxious. Remember the incident with the kitchen?" Liz remarked.

"What?" I protested, remembering exactly what she meant. "You put all the groceries away in the wrong place!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Everything Has to be Just So," Liz said. "Has Dave borne the brunt of one of your organizational fits yet?"

I blushed, remembering the day I lectured him on how to arrange the soup cans. Dee laughed. "He has! I knew it. The amazing thing is he's still with you."

"Is this Gang Up on Jamie Day?" I asked, throwing my hands up in frustration.

About an hour later, I was walking with Dave in the back pasture. It had been a much better afternoon than before. Mom was really trying to make an effort with Dave. She was nicer to him and talked to him, although she still avoided any mention of our relationship. I decided to let the matter go. Dad and Dave had become fast friends, although Dad still got really tense when I touched Dave, even if it was a friendly touch on the back or shoulder. My siblings were all won over completely, although Dee and Liz still gave me grief about how I didn't deserve such a wonderful guy. Dave ate it up.

"I'm going to have to soak your head tonight to let down the swelling," I said as we walked. It was still warm and we had removed our shirts. I enjoyed the feel of Dave's warm, muscular arm around me.

Dave laughed and squeezed my waist. "I don't think I get nearly enough compliments. I think I might just stay longer here."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, it's not Disney World. Just wait until you need to get in the bathroom in the morning." Dave laughed.

I kissed him on the cheek. "You've been a great sport today."

Dave smiled at me, then pulled me a little closer. "Well, your family is trying. That makes it a lot easier. I know we still have some rough times ahead with your parents, but I think we'll be okay."

We stood and watched the sun sink lower to the horizon, then decided to go back. Mom and Dad were going to barbecue around the pool and the food was going to be ready soon. As we walked back, Dave commented again on the beauty of the landscape. "This place is really nice. I thought we were going to be in some place with trailers and cars on blocks or something."

I reached up and pinched his nipple, causing him to yelp. "Watch yourself, City Boy. Kentucky isn't all hillbillies."

"Well, I'm glad to see it. And I'm glad to share it with you," he said as he stopped and turned me around. He took me in his arms and kissed me softly on the lips. "Mmm," he said. "It's nice kissing you in a field."

"So you think it's just the field, huh?" I said as I kissed him again.

"Nah," Dave said after another kiss. "I think you'd be fun to kiss even in a landfill."

I looked up, pretending to consider. "I don't care to test that one." Dave laughed then kissed me again, a long, smooth kiss. We looked out over the field again and then started to the house.

A light breeze was blowing from the west, cooling some of the heat from the sun. Soon the house was in plain view again, and I noticed another vehicle in the drive. As we walked closer, I recognized it. Paul's truck. I immediately stiffened, and Dave noticed my tension. "What is it?" he whispered.

I gestured. "Paul. That's his truck."

Dave rubbed my back. "Stay calm, it'll be fine." I put my shirt back on, and Dave did the same. As we got closer to the truck, I could see a figure seated in it. As we got closer, the driver's door opened and Paul stepped out. We stopped a few feet away and I smiled nervously. "Hi Paul," I said, trying to mask my anxiety by sounding calm and conversational.

"James," he answered tonelessly. Then his brown gaze swept to Dave.

"Paul, this is Dave. Dave, my brother Paul."

Dave nodded. "Pleasure to meet you."

Paul nodded politely, then he looked at me. It was the same look he had given me nearly six years ago before I left. Not revulsion, I thought. More hurt and disappointment. Then he turned and walked into the house, without another word.

I looked at the ground as all the emotion descended on me again. My eyes began to tear up. Dave walked in front of me and took me into his arms and gave me a tight hug. I cried into his shoulder a little, then regained control. I wiped my eyes and looked out toward the setting sun.

End of Part XV