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All of the usual disclaimers apply to this story. This is a work of fiction, it does portray consenting sexual acts between a teen boys and adult men. If this is upsetting to you please stop here. If you are not of legal age in your country please close this page. Please feel free to send me an email with your feelings on the story, good or bad, I welcome all comments! justinmelikes@gmail.com.
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James' Story Chapter 3
"Jon, really, I'm just not up to it, maybe tomorrow." It was weak, but I had to try, even knowing it was a waste of time, he would come and I would go out even if I didn't want too. On some level I knew he was right, this is the one thing that James would not want me to do. If he were here he would say "Brian, get off your ass and get on with it."
"Yeah, ok...see ya in five." He hung up the phone, yes, my time alone with my pain was over, but I didn't have anything left to give it, it had consumed everything I had, it demanded more, but I didn't have more to give. I hung up my phone and lay there, I knew he was on his way.
Right on cue he I heard an being put into the door to my room, I knew that the time had come to, time be forced back to reality, a reality that I wasn't sure I could actually survive in, a reality that I didn't want to survive in, but there was no escaping it now, Jonathon would make sure I got out of this room for a while even if I kicked >and screamed the whole time. I looked up from my bed to see him walking in, there was pain on his face, he looked tired, exhausted, no doubt he had been worrying about me nonstop since I sent him home. My heart ached even more knowing that I had caused this in him, he was a pure soul, he didn't deserve to ever feel pain, and I had caused him pain.
He made his way to my bed and sat down beside me. Putting his hand on my forehead he gently brushed the hair out of my face. "Sweetie you look like shit. Now get up and get in the shower." He was looking around the room, it was a mess in the worse way, there were things scattered everywhere, a very unusual situation for me. I have always been a neat freak, this room was anything but neat at this moment.
"I guess a shower would be a good idea." I said weakly, sitting up next to him on the edge of the bed. He put his arm around me, it felt good to be touched, but there was also a moment of guilt. I wanted James to touch me, just one more time. I leaned into him, the warmth of his body was comforting, oh how I longed for someone to hold me, but for that to happen I would have to stay here, stay in this reality, and I had no intention of doing that. At least within the pain I would be with him, I could touch him in my dreams, I could feel him, I couldn't do that here.
He hugged me tight, "How long has it been since you got close to a bar of soap?" he made a mock gesture of holding his nose, I sat there trying to remember when I last got up and get in the shower. "Honey, if you have to think about it, it's been way too long, now off with ya, I'll pick out something for you to wear while you are in there." He gave me a small shove towards the bathroom.
"Pretty bad huh?" I smiled as I walked away.
"A shower will go a long way toward making you feel better." He got up and headed for my closet.
If only it was that easy, if only a nice hot shower could make this pain and emptiness go away. I heard the bathroom door open and knew that Jonathon was bringing the clothes he picked out for me, I still had no idea where we were going or why, other than to get me out of the house. The hot water did feel good, it felt like weeks since I had a shower. I was suddenly back to when we were 15, in this very shower, early morning getting ready for school, I had been awakened by a dream, I didn't remember the dream, but I was wide awake, so I thought I would go and get my shower done then wake him up. As I stood there letting the hot water rush over my body I felt him walk in behind me.
"Good morning my sweet prince, I woke up and you were gone, you know how I hate that, I can't sleep without you." He put his arms around my mid section and pulled me tight against him, God how I loved being in his arms. He gently nibbled at the back of my neck, I knew all too well what that meant, I moaned and leaned back against him, surrendering to him, to his need.
I felt his peen get hard almost instantly as it rested in the crevice of my butt. I turned my head so I could kiss him, even with morning breath his kisses always made me light headed. I felt his hand reach down and wrap itself around my peen as well, and stroked it a few times then spun me around, got down on his knees and swallowed it to the root. I grabbed his head and pushed it the rest of the way in, in turn he grabbed both butt cheeks and pulled, he wanted it all, and I would not deny him, I could never deny him.
He got up and once again spun me around so I was facing the wall, I knew this move as well, he couldn't wait, he had to have me now, I loved that I made him that hot, I loved that he wanted me so much that he couldn't wait another second. Assuming the position he felt him line up and push in, the pleasure was instant, I screamed my pleasure at having him inside me. I reached back with both hands to pull him in deeper, I need it as much as he did, he was never rough with me, he was always a gentle lover, passionate, and always making sure that my pleasure was as great as his own. I felt him start to slowly pull out and push back in, hitting my pleasure nugget with every thrust, his hand was stroking my peen as he did this, I knew I wouldn't last long, but I wanted to hold out for him, to last as long as he did.
In a matter of minutes I was beyond the point of no return, "James I'm gonna cum!!!" I screamed as he was thrusting deeper and deeper. I felt my orgasm building, boiling, there was no holding it back.
"Me too baby!!" as he pushed one more time, deeper, harder, I felt his love filling me. I felt him shudder and heard his moan, it was more than I could take and I came for a second time. Still holding him inside me I turned and kissed him deeply.
"Brian, I love you so much it hurts sometimes." He said as he pulled out.
"I love you more, much more. You are what makes me...me." He reached for the soap.
My memory was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Bri, you ok in there?" There it was, once again my safe place had been invaded. I was no long alone with him, there was a world out there that apparently demanded my return.
"Yeah, just getting out." I quickly got out and dried off, got dressed and headed out face whatever awaited me. I hadn't even paid attention to what Jonathon had chosen for me to wear, looking good was not a top priority right then, getting this over with was the priority.
"Jonathon, I really appreciate this, but really, I think this is a bad idea." I knew it wouldn't work, but I had to try one more time. I stopped and looked around the room, while I was showering he had changed my sheets, picked up all the stuff that had been scattered around, taken all the clothes down to the laundry room, the bed was made up, the windows were open to let in sun light and fresh air, the place looked like it did when I first walked in weeks ago. "Jonathon, you didn't have to do this."
"I know, it made me feel good to be of some use. I've spent weeks sitting around wanting to be here with you, this helps." He flashed that wonderful smile. I realized that this had been torture for him as well, Jonathon always hated to see his friends hurting, he would always do anything he could to help anyone that asked him. It was still beyond me how he had not been swept off his feet by some sweet boy. He always said that when the right one came along he would know it, but until then he would just fly solo.
I walked past the full length mirror on the wall and for the first time in weeks took a good look at myself. I had lost weight, I looked drawn, haggard. My hair was too long, my face looked sunken, my nice tan was gone, replaced with a very white complexion. I ran my hand through my hair then looked down to see what I was wearing, Kaki cargo shorts and a nice yellow polo. I walked over to the bed and sat down, I was suddenly exhausted. Jonathon went back to my closet and came out with my favorite pair of Dolce and Gabbana flip flops.
"These will do just fine." He said as he sat them down on the floor at my feet, then sat down beside me, he put his arm around me again, I just leaned into him, I needed the personal contact, I needed to be touched.
"I guess I'm not getting out of this, so what do you have in mind for the day?" I asked, resigned to my fate.
"Brian, there are many people in this town that love you dearly, you have many friends that are more than ready to see you. I have kept them at bay for as long as I can, they are threatening to storm the fort if they don't get to see you soon. So, with that in mind, I told a few of your best friends that we would meet them at Anthony's for lunch." I'm guessing he could see the panic in my face. "It's only a few, don't panic, and they have been told that if you feel overwhelmed we're outta there, but they really want to see you."
I took a deep breath to calm myself, for some reason I was nervous, scared even too see these people, I'm not sure where my fear was coming from, but I suddenly felt like a new student on my first day of school. "Who all is going to be there?" I asked with a shaky voice.
"Michael and David, Tammy and Lisa, Rob, and Terry said he was going to try to get there, but he has to work today, so he might not make it. Brain it'll be fine, I'll be right beside you the whole time. Trust me, they all know that if you say you need to go, we go, no questions asked." He was looking into my eyes, he has the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, James and I both were so jealous of his eyes. Jonathon stood 6'2" tall, he was 180#'s of pure muscle, like the rest of us his family owned a working ranch and he put in his time working the place like the rest of us had, the work had done him well. He had jet black hair and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. You could look into those eyes and just get lost. The combination of that black hair and blue eyes was just stunning, he was beautiful, inside and out.
"Ok, I think I can do this, but you have to promise to not leave me alone for even a second, I can't do this alone, please don't leave me alone!" I was again in full panic mode, pleading like a child that I not be left alone. Had I really been reduced to this mass of jello with no self confidence or backbone? Was this really me?
"I'll be at your side the whole time, I won't leave your side even for a second, I promise." With that he got up and reached for my hand to help me up. I took his outstretched hand and got to my feet, walked out the door and got in his truck. It was then that I noticed he was driving a new truck, it wasn't the old black one that he had been driving since high school.
"When did you get the new truck?"
"About a month ago, Dad finally decided that the old one was beyond help, he went and traded it while I was in class, I came home to this, I almost peed my pants." He chuckled.
We rode in silence, just the radio playing quietly in the background as we made our way down town, if you could even call it that, to the best pizza place in the world. Even with all the chain pizza places in town everyone still went to Anthony's. Anthony had been here since they brought in the first load of dirt to build this planet, we used to joke with him about it. Over the years he had taken over adjacent buildings to expand. When I was 9 years old he took over the beauty shop next door to his place and added the most awesome game room ever. Every year my parents would have my birthday party there, and every year Anthony would come out and hand me a little red box with a blue bow on it, inside would be ten dollars in tokens to play the games, I smiled remembering him, he had always been one that any of us kids could go to if we had a problem, he always knew the right answer, his advice and opinion was always valued above anyone else in town, even our parents.
Jonathon pulled into a parking space right in front of the restaurant, I could feel my heart pounding, my palms were sweaty, my head was spinning, absently I reached for the handle to open the door, but just couldn't make myself pull it. I almost jumped out of my skin when Jonathon opened the door, he knelt down and took my hands. "its ok sweetie, I promise." He stood back up and slowly helped me out of the truck.
I stood there for a few minutes taking in the sight of down town. Down town for us was very much like an old west movie. The buildings were from the twenties I think, the streets were very narrow, it was always kept up and was always beautiful. I felt a twinge of sadness, it had been James' dream to one day buy up the old buildings that were for sale and turn them into soda shops, coffee shops, pharmacies, that kinda thing, keep it alive. As I looked down the deserted street I saw several black ribbons on the doors to various shops, the lamp posts all had black bows on them, no doubt they were for James. I felt the tears welling up, threatening to spill over and flood the whole down town area. "Keep it together Brain!" I scolded myself.
I followed as Jonathon led the way to the door, then into the narrow hall like area that led to the dining room. The building was old, and hadn't changed much through the years, other than taking over a few other shops next it, it pretty much looked the same as it did when I was a kid.
You entered into this long hall like area, as you walked toward the end the kitchen was on the left, open for all to watch their pizza being made, on the right was a long way full of pictures of the kids that had passed through over the years, if you made your way into Anthony's heart your picture was displayed here, there were hundreds of them, all smiling back at me. We stopped at the kitchen area when Jonathon heard Anthony call out. "They are all here, and your table is ready, go ahead and have a seat, I'll bring out some drinks a few seconds.
I turned around and looked right into the eyes of the one person on the planet that I would have died for, the love of my life, there was James smiling back at me. I felt faint, my knees buckled and the world was going black, I felt when Jonathon put his arms around me and sat me down on the leather bench that lined that side of the hall, the darkness took me. When I came too I was still sitting on the bench leaning against Jonathon, Anthony was sitting on the other side of me with a very worried look on his face.
Anthony took my hand, looked into my eyes and said. "Brain, I debated for days over whether or not I should take his picture down before you came here today. In the end I decided that he had long ago worked his way into my heart, just as you have, and I cannot deny him his place of honor." His eyes were pleading with me to accept his explanation and be ok with it.
How could I not be? James was dearly loved by all in this town, of course there would be pictures of him everywhere, people were proud of him, of us, I would run into things that would remind me of him for the rest of my life.
"Of course Anthony, I wouldn't ask you to ever do that. You loved him very much, and he loved you as well. I think we should get to our table before they others send out a search party." I looked up at Jonathon, then started to get up, I was still a bit shaky so he helped me up then let me lean on him as we made our way to the dining room.
As we rounded the corner to the dining room I saw where my friends were sitting, all looking as if they wanted to jump up and run to me, but no one made a move. The first person I saw was Michael. Michael was the local total farm boy, he would die on his parents farm, he was a very tanned 6' tall, broad shoulders, blonde hair, blue eyes, like the rest of us, this work on the farm had done his body good. Sitting next to him was his boyfriend since high school, David was the total opposite of Michael, he was skinny, black hair, brown eyes, if you didn't know him you would think he was still in junior high, he was the sweetest boy ever, he had blown into town in our junior year, Michael was smitten the first time he saw him. All he talked about for weeks was David and how cute he was, he finally got up the courage to ask him out, and as they say, history was made.
Then I saw Lisa, perhaps my best friend other than Jonathon, we had known each other since pre-k. She and Tammy were the schools only open lesbians, although there are a few that we all have questions about. Sitting to her right was Tammy, her girlfriend, Tammy is what we call a `Lipstick Lesbian', she was all girl, make up, heels, clothes, the whole package, she was by anyone's standards a very pretty girl. Lisa on the other hand was more butch, always in jeans, a cap, short hair, no makeup ever, but she would hurt someone over her friends, I don't think there was a boy in school that would have taken a challenge from her, we were all sure she could totally kick our ass!
Then I saw Robert, Rob to his friends, he I had also known since we were in pre-k. Robert was also blonde, 5'9" tall, he wasn't skinny, but not muscled up either, he was about 130 pounds, tanned from helping his granpa on the their ranch. Rob's parents had died in a plane crash when he was 8 years old, he was moved down here to live with his grandparents. They had raised him as their own, they were a very close family, I found it hard to believe that he too was still single, I had thought for years that he and Jonathon would get together, but thus far they had not done so.
Then there was Terry, he had apparently gotten off work early, or got someone to cover his shift. Terry was one of our straight friends, he's had a crush on Tammy for years, but he knew that if he verbalized it Lisa would tear him limb for limb. He was a very handsome boy, he was the one that always looked like he had just climbed off of the cover of GQ magazine, his hair always prefect, that `I just got out bed' look, always in the best clothes, his skin was perfect and he had a face and body that would land him a modeling contract in a second, but he was happy to just work his dad's ranch and live the quiet country life.
I made my way to the table, one by one they each got up and came to give me a hug and tell me that they love me, and that they were there for me if I needed them. I thanked each of them and hugged them back, it was great to be with them again, I was no longer nervous or afraid, I was comfortable. I sat down, still holding Jonathon's hand. I looked around the restaurant and noticed that there was no one else there, we were alone, odd considering that it was Sat afternoon. The place should have been packed with families, kids in the game room, people sitting at every table, but there was no one.
Anthony came around the corner with a tray full of drinks, he sat them down in front of us, each having what they would have ordered, he knew what favorite drink was, and that's what we got. "I'll be back with your pizzas in a few minutes." With that he turned and left.
Anthony returned with our pizzas a while later, he put them down then he reached into his apron pocket and with drew a red box with a blue bow on it, he smiled at me, then handed me the box. "I remember all of you kids when you were still in diapers; I remember most of your parents when they were youngsters. Of all the kids that have passed through my door you bunch are the ones that also made their way into my heart. But one of you is missing, one that was very special to all of us, but he is looking after all of us now, he is our guardian angel." He had tears in his eyes.
I started to walk away but I got up and grabbed his arm, there were a few gasps, as if they thought I was upset with Anthony, nothing could have been further from the truth. "Thank you Anthony. He loved you very much, just as you love us, long have you been our friend, and long have you freely offered your advice, a shoulder to cry on, an ear when we just needed to talk, and an open heart for all who needed it. I love you Anthony." I hugged him tightly, he hugged me back, the warm tears making my shirt wet. Then he walked away.
I still remember when James and I came out to Anthony, we both thought it important to tell him, not just let him see it, and we were both terrified of his reaction, but he was great. He looked down at us and said, "Boys, I'm honored that you chose to tell me, and I'm happy that you trust me enough to tell me this most intimate detail about your lives. Now, listen to me, I don't care who you love, as long as you love. Love is not about the gender of the other person, it's not about how that other person looks, it's not even about being happy. Love is about love, giving yourself completely to someone else, trusts someone enough to give yourself too, and I'm not just talking about sex, I'm talking about your soul, your heart." He had ruffled our hair and sent us off to wait for our pizza.
Lunch was great, just being out with my friends did help me tremendously, being surrounded by people that knew and loved me did more good than anything I could have done. After a couple of hours I was exhausted and needed to go home, I told Jonathon that I needed to lay down. True to his word he got up, took my hand and we were headed home in a matter of minutes.
Once back home he walked me inside, I sat on my bed and let my flip flops fall to the floor. I was so tired, it was as if I hadn't slept in days, my arms and legs were too heavy to move. "Thanks Jonathon, it was a great afternoon, I didn't realize how much I needed that, thanks for dragging me out, and not letting me talk my way out of it." He hugged me. "It was my pleasure. Tomorrow we hit the mall, I need some stuff and you need to get out again. I'll call you in the morning, I'm going to go and let you get some rest." He kissed my forehead and headed for the door. There was no use in arguing with him, he would come drag me out again tomorrow, but he was right, I did need to get out. It would make my parents happy to know that I was rejoining the living world, even if I was uncertain about my desire to do so.
I took off my clothes and crawled between the sheets, lay my head down and waited for him to come get me, waited for the darkness to once again take me. I knew he would be waiting on the other side, but now this all seemed wrong, not him, not seeing him, but seeing him like this. Giving into the darkness seemed wrong.
As the world went dark I saw him standing there, waiting for me, standing by the lake at our private spot, looking so beautiful with the sun at his back, the sun was sparkling off the water making it look as if he too was sparking. He turned to face me, he was 13 again, he was even wearing what he had been wearing that day so many hears before, he looked just as he had that day. He held out his arms and started walking toward me, I looked down to find that I too was 13 again, we were what we once had been, could this last forever? I was ready right then to give up life and stay with him forever. I wanted it more than anything, I needed it, I needed him, I wanted him, I chose him.
Thanks again for taking the time to read my story, I do hope you enjoyed it. All comments are welcome.