Greetings everyone,
Here's the 15th installment of this section of Jamie's story. It will mark the end of Book Two. I want to thank everyone who's written during the course of the story so far for their kind words, suggestions and some wonderful critique.
Thanks to Nino, Gabriella, Casey, JM, Kenitra, Dhiad, Alex, and so many others for their continued support. I know I've forgotten some and if I have then I apologize, but thanks to you too! Also thanks to every other Nifty author for their wonderful contributions that spark my own creativity.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In this chapter the term Shadow is used in reference to the 'NSync bodyguards. I had seen that in another story when referring to security (which one I can't remember right now) and liked it so much I decided to use it.
Please take a minute and write to let me know what you think of the story so far. Any ideas or suggestions for plot or events are always welcome.
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
The Dreams That You Dared To Dream - Chapter Fifteen
Jamie finally stepped through the gate. He was dead tired and cranky and the already long day was far from over. Now he knew why he hated last minute traveling. First class had been full so he had been cramped down in coach. Thank God he had bought a second ticket so he could keep his guitar with him. It gave him some extra room and he didn't have to deal with sitting with someone. He shook his head thinking how funny it was that you got spoiled by certain things so quickly. Jamie constantly marveled that the guys were as normal as they were, considering the pampering they could afford.
Lonnie was waiting for him over to the side so he took a running leap and landed in his arms. They gave each other a big hug before letting go. "Oh man, Lonnie, it's so good to see you."
"Same here, Red. Your boy is awfully sad without you."
"So am I, big guy, so am I." Jamie smiled at the nickname that security had given him. Everyone had them. All the guys had been given numbers according to the order in the name 'NSync. Close friends and their family members had their own codes. Jamie had nearly laughed himself to death to learn that Dani's was 'tomato.'
"Well then let's get over there and make you both happy." Lonnie grabbed Jamie's carry-on with a smile and led him away.
"So what's the updated schedule now that tomorrow's concert is cancelled?"
"Well, tomorrow is off completely. Since there's no concert the radio appearances made no sense, they'll do those when it comes around again. We'll leave tonight for Chicago and you guys will be having brunch there. I guess JC will be meeting with his folks. Then it's off to Lexington. There's an autograph signing Sunday morning then the concert Monday night."
As they walked to the van, Lonnie called on his cell phone and Jamie listened in. "Shadow 1 here, Red on the way. ETA 20-30 minutes, let #1 know." All five of the guy's personal security had the codename shadow followed by the guy's number. He loved this cloak and dagger stuff.
Thirty minutes later Jamie and Lonnie were admitted into the stadium's back entrance as Jamie dug out his WEG ID from his backpack. Immediately the softer screams and chants from outside were lost to the thunderous sounds inside. As he slipped the lanyard over his neck, a techie, Jamie thought his name was Rick, slipped him a headset so he could block out a little of the noise and hear what was going on. Before leaving he let Jamie know that they were on the short break and in the dressing room.
A tour assistant came and took his bag and guitar from him with a smile to put on the bus. Jamie hooked the headset on his belt for now and made his way to the dressing area, Lonnie close behind. He heard them before he even reached the room and slipped past the assistant stage manager who was on his way out.
"Remember guys 3 minutes," he called as he shut the door. Lonnie took up guard outside with Randy.
Jamie stood just inside the door as it closed. Lance and Joey noticed him and almost yelled a greeting but were stopped when Jamie put a finger to his lips. Justin had his back to him and hadn't seen him yet.
"Chris, man, could you help? I've got a kink in my neck."
"Sure, J," Chris said with a smirk and motioned that Jamie was welcome to take his place. Jamie went up behind Justin and started working the muscles of his neck and shoulders like he had many times before.
"God, Chris. You do this almost as good as Jamie. That feels great."
"No problem. Any time, Just," Chris replied. He went round the couch and grabbed a towel across the room from Justin.
The room grew still as everyone waited for the light bulb to go off inside Justin's head. The only sound was JC's slight snicker underneath his own towel. Justin turned in one fluid motion a wide smile growing on his face. In the blink of an eye he had grabbed Jamie's shoulders and pressed him against the wall with his body.
"Hi," Jamie said softly.
"Sweet pea," he said simply before pressing their lips together in a bruising kiss.
Jamie struggled weakly at first but quickly gave in to Justin's passion, his own yearning burning inside him, as he kissed back just as forcefully. A month of loneliness and longing was expressed in that kiss and it appeared as if they weren't ever going to stop.
JC turned away slightly with a sigh while Lance held his hand, tears springing into his own eyes. Joey lowered his head with a blush as Chris looked on in rapt curiosity, his mouth hanging open in wonder.
A knock at the door didn't even phase them, but got the others moving. "One minute, guys. We need you in the wings," was called through the door.
Jamie and Justin reluctantly separated. "Six more songs, my love," Justin said regretfully while stroking Jamie's cheek with his fingers.
"I've waited 27 days, another half hour or so should be easy. I'll be right here waiting for you."
With another quick kiss and hugs from the others, Jamie was left alone in the dressing room. He sat and listened to the banter with the audience and then the next couple of songs over the stage monitor. Feeling a little hungry, he left the dressing room and with a wave to Lonnie headed over to the caterer's table to grab a sandwich. Not surprisingly, it was turkey.
Jamie ate while listening to This I Promise You, smiling at the memories it conjured. As the guys started Digital Get Down he wandered around backstage. This far into the show, most departments had already packed up. He saw the makeup room standing empty and most of the stuff from the game room was already on the trucks.
Jamie turned to try and find the stage entrance and was stopped by arena security. The middle-aged man looked tired and completely fed up with the whole experience. "Hey, son, do you have a pass to be back here?"
Jamie stopped a little in shock, he was so used to roaming free and knowing everybody. "Oh, sure," he replied holding up the card hanging around his neck.
The guard, who had a name tag that read Ed, looked it over with a smirk. "I don't know where you found that, but I'll take it and get you back to your seats."
Jamie's mouth hung open at the words not releasing his hold on the card. "But this -is- me, I have my driver's license to prove it."
"If you can prove it before we get to the auditorium I'll let you stay," he said grabbing his elbow and ushering him along.
Jamie looked at him completely confused. He looked at the ID around his neck and was horrified to see it was Justin's. They must have been switched during packing. Justin never really had any use for his so he probably didn't even noticed he had the wrong one. Jamie stopped and the guard halted too, not looking very happy.
"You're right, that's not me. My ID must be with his stuff, we each grabbed the wrong one."
Ed looked at him in disbelief. "That's the best story so far, kiddo. Come on, let's go." They continued to the backstage entrance that led out into the audience.
"Listen, I really do work for WEG," Jamie tried again. "Radio 'NSync security, they'll vouch for me," Jamie pleaded.
Ed's patience was just about shot. "Listen, kid. I've been real nice with you, now get out of here before I have you arrested for trespassing." They had just arrived at the gate and Jamie was disappointed that no WEG security were present, only arena staff. Ed held his hand out for the ID card.
Jamie suddenly remembered that he had the headset. He pulled it off his belt and called for help. "Shadow 1 report to backstage gate. This is..." The rest of his message was cut off when Ed grabbed the headset from his hands.
"Ok, that's it. Stealing this too, huh? That's it for being nice. Son, you're under arrest." Ed spun Jamie around and roughly handcuffed his hands behind his back. "Joe, I'll be in the security office." Ed grabbed Jamie and dragged him through a side door.
The brusque treatment started clouding Jamie's thinking. Unpleasant memories and images flashed by him as Bye Bye Bye rang in his head along with the screaming of thousands of teenage girls. Ed led him down a hall and into an office. Jamie felt out of control and on the verge of a major anxiety attack.
"Ok, kid, wanna help me out here and tell me what's going on and how you got so far into a restricted area?" Ed asked none to gently as he pushed him through the door. He started flying questions at Jamie, one after the other.
"I... I... " Jamie began but stopped. Everything was happening to fast for him to deal with. His throat closed and his body shook as he started crying. Reality was spiraling away and he was having trouble breathing.
Ed shook his head in disgust. He spoke into his walkie-talkie, "Bill, better call the sheriff. I think we have some drug use going on here." Dropping the unit on the desk he turned Jamie around and pushed him against the wall and started frisking him.
The feeling of strange hands on him pushed Jamie over the edge and he collapsed in a shaking heap. His breath was coming in shallow gasps and he curled up into a ball on the floor as darkness overtook him.
Ed got back on the radio. "Bill, call the ambulance as well, I think we have an OD."
Lonnie arrived at the backstage gate just as Bye Bye Bye ended. He hated not being there when the group got off stage, but he needed to check out the call he received a minute before.
"Ok, what's going on, guys?"
"Oh, not much," one of the guards answered. "Just some kid made it past the gate and tried to steal a headset or something. He's cuffed down in the security office now. There was something about drugs, Ed radioed in for an ambulance."
"Now you fellas know that before you cuff anybody we need to see them first, right?" Lonnie questioned getting agitated. The last thing they needed was a PR issue because of some overzealous local security guard.
"Ya, we know. But the kid wasn't all that cooperative and he seemed like he was on something."
Lonnie stood looking around while listening. Something wasn't feeling right about this.
"But where is he?!!" Justin yelled to nobody in particular. He was tired and just wanted to hold Jamie in his arms but nobody could find him. "And where the hell is Lonnie?" This was directed at the four remaining bodyguards as he shook Jamie's backpack at them.
"Last we knew he was headed to check on some problem at the backstage entrance," Randy answered not really wanting to place himself in Justin's line of fire.
The wheels turned quickly in Justin's head. "Joey, why don't you and Mike go check out the bus. Would the rest of you mind making one last sweep around backstage? Randy, come with me and let's go find Lonnie. Maybe he knows something."
Randy looked toward Lance, his charge, for his ok. Lance made a shooing motion. "Go ahead, Randy. Eric will watch over me and Josh. We're not going anywhere until Jamie's found."
"So who radioed me?" Lonnie asked, finally interrupting.
The guard finally looked confused. "Well, we didn't, that's for sure."
Lonnie growled at another breach of the agreed security procedure. "Well, somebody did and they used my code name as well."
Another guard scratched his head for a second. "Hey, didn't that kid use that headset before Ed took it away from him?"
Lonnie's eyes got large in his head. "This is shadow 1, bring #1 to the security office pronto. Red needs him." He turned to the other guard. "Take me to that office, now!"
Justin and Randy ran when they got Lonnie's message and made it to the security office just behind him. Justin pushed into the room to hear Lonnie bellow at the guard to remove the handcuffs.
'Handcuffs?' Justin thought to himself in panic. Standing in the room he looked around but couldn't see Jamie anywhere. Moving around the desk he saw Jamie on the floor, the guard stepping back with handcuffs in his hand.
With a gasp, Justin rudely pushed him aside and knelt beside Jamie and put a hand on his back. Jamie's breathing was shallow and fast and he pulled away from the touch with a whimper. Justin hoped that it wasn't too late and tore open the backpack.
"What's wrong with him?" Ed asked confused.
"He's having and asthma attack you moron!" Justin barked at him. When he found the atomizer, he gently put it into Jamie's mouth. "Jamie, breath in deep when I say." Somehow Jamie understood and breathed in as Justin pushed the button. Slowly his breathing became less labored. Justin repeated it again just to be sure.
"You will leave now, you've done enough for one night," Lonnie ordered Ed.
"You know this kid?" Ed asked defiantly.
"Yes and if you'd followed the procedure that -I- set down we wouldn't be in this mess. Just be lucky he doesn't sue you for false arrest or I get vindictive and pull your license."
Ed knew when he'd been beat and made a hasty departure from the room.
With his breathing returning to normal, Jamie calmed a little. "Justin?"
"Yes, sweetie, it's me." Justin said soothingly. "Everything's ok." Justin pulled Jamie into his arms and Jamie held on tightly. "I'm so sorry that this had to happen, sweet pea."
"I'm so tired, Justin," Jamie said through his tears.
That night on the bus Jamie slept restlessly. He was haunted by dreams of Rocky coming at him with handcuffs. The only thing that kept him from screaming out loud every few minutes was Justin's arms around him, holding him safe. Justin slept for short periods, waking when he'd feel Jamie tense beside him. He would then stroke Jamie's cheek and whisper that he was safe until Jamie settled down again.
In the morning they were both tired and moving slowly. They ate the donuts Lance had set out for everyone while leaning on each other. The bus was silent for the most part. Soft music was playing and the guys didn't talk much. It didn't take long for it to get completely on Jamie's nerves.
"Ok, you goofs. I really appreciate the thought, but this isn't a sick ward. You're all driving me insane. Would you all just be yourselves." Jamie looked over at Justin and noticed the hurt expression on his face. "Except you, baby. You can pamper me all you want."
Justin smiled and pinched his cheek then handed Jamie his medication and a glass of juice.
"Well thank God. All this quiet isn't natural," Chris yelled.
"Somehow that's not surprising coming from you," JC said as he went back to his bunk. Lance watched him with concern.
Joey grabbed Chris and they both went to the back to fire up the Playstation and Justin excused himself to take his shower with a kiss for Jamie as he left.
"Ok, spill it, Lance. What's going on between you and Josh?" Jamie asked.
Lance smiled sadly and moved to sit next to him on the couch. "Well, it's hard to explain. -We're- not really having problems that I can tell, but Josh is worrying me a little." Lance leaned back and rubbed his eyes. "Little by little he's been sort of retreating. He really doesn't treat me any differently and is as attentive as always but he's been sleeping more. That isn't strange for him, especially on tour, but he just doesn't hang out as much. It's been such a small change I thought I was just imagining it, but since you noticed it, I know I'm not crazy."
Jamie took Lance's hand in his. "He hasn't said anything to you then?" Lance shook his head. "Well, hopefully I can get him to open up a little. He just seems a bit depressed to me, and I should know. Just love him and be there for him. I know he appreciates that."
"Thanks, Jamie." Lance got up. "I'm gonna go and see if he wants some nap company."
Jamie sat deep in thought about JC when Justin plopped down beside him smelling of shampoo and soap.
"Hey, you stink pretty!" Jamie joked.
"Oh, do I?" Justin laughed. He leaned against Jamie and pushed him down on the couch. Justin snuggled in and they held each other.
"I missed this most of all," Jamie finally said. "It was hard not being able to hold you or have you hold me." Justin tightened his arms in response.
"How you doing?"
Jamie sighed. "I'm fine, just some unpleasant nightmares. Nothing new there."
Justin kissed Jamie's cheek then moved to his mouth. They kissed for a few minutes enjoying the feel of each others lips. "Do you realize that out of the next 48 hours we get to spend all but 2 hours together?"
"Sounds like heaven."
The next day Jamie replayed that conversation over and over in his head as he headed back to the guy's floor from his meeting with Kevin. He was fully expecting Justin to probe him about how he was feeling after the incident in Minneapolis. Instead Justin asked a simple question, got his answer and moved on. Jamie didn't doubt that Justin cared but it was just curious that he didn't press Jamie into talking more. It was so unlike him.
Justin was true to his word. They had spent the entire day yesterday together and the guys had just gotten back from their signing which lasted exactly 2 hours. Walking into the room, he saw Justin laying on the bed. Jamie sat next to him and ran his finger through Justin's curls.
"Hey, sweet pea," Justin said in a sleepy voice.
"You tired, baby?"
"Ya, somebody kept me awake last night," Justin smiled.
Jamie blushed. It had been their first night together in private in over a month and they had done a lot of 'catching up'. "I'm about to head out and get some KFC from down the street. You still want Crispy Strips?"
"That sounds good and some biscuits too," Justin yawned.
"Ok, I'll be back soon. You get some rest and we can snuggle later." He bent down and kissed Justin on the lips. Justin responded but was already half asleep.
Jamie quietly left and headed to Joey's room. He stopped at Lance and JC's door. Hearing voices, he knocked hesitantly.
"What is it?" Lance called.
"Lance, it's me. I'm heading to KFC. Do you guys want anything?"
"No, but thanks for asking." Jamie shrugged. It wasn't like Lance to not open the door. Hope grew that maybe he'd gotten JC to talk and open up a little. He continued to Joey's room.
Chris was there with him and they were trying to score points off each other on some basketball video game. Jamie watched but was quickly lost trying to figure out how they knew what to do. After about 15 minutes they got tired of it and tried to decide what they wanted to eat. It took them another 15 minutes to decide what they wanted and with which side orders. Jamie felt like smacking the both of them but refrained himself.
Finally with a healthy list and Joey's money, it was his treat, Jamie left. Catching sight of someone getting on the elevator, he sprinted down the hall, calling to them to hold it for him. Slightly out of breath, he entered the car and waved to Mike in the hall as the door closed.
As they rode down he looked over at his fellow passenger. He was just a little taller, had dark blond slightly wavy hair and a classic square jaw. It took Jamie a moment to overcome his shock at the blue eyes looking back at him.
"Oh my, what are you doing here?"
Brian Littrell got a worried expression. "Just visiting a friend. Please don't make a scene, I'll give you an autograph."
Jamie's eyes widened then he laughed. "Chris and Joey would get a real kick out of that. Jamie Campbell, nice to meet you," Jamie chuckled and held out his hand which Brian shook.
"Brian Littrell, as if you didn't know. Let me guess, not a fan," Brian said smiling.
"Well, I think I'd be in hot water if I ever admitted this, but I like your stuff too."
"Thanks. So you know the guys?"
For some reason Jamie didn't feel completely at ease with being open with Brian even though he knew that he could be trusted. "Ya, we're friends. What are you doing in town? You're from here, right?"
Brian nodded. "You've probably heard that my cousin Kevin got married last weekend. I'm just spending some time off visiting my family. I'm actually heading back home to Atlanta tomorrow."
Just then they arrived at the lobby. "Um... could I get an autograph?"
Brian laughed. "Sure." He reached into the backpack he was carrying and pulled out a Millennium CD and marker. He quickly signed the CD and handed it to Jamie who watched him with a questioning look. "We all carry a few copies, just in case we need them. It saves alot of hassle sometimes."
Jamie nodded. "Thanks, it was nice meeting you, Brian. Hopefully we'll run into each other again sometime."
Brian smiled at him and Jamie then knew why Lance had been attracted to him. He was the perfect example of someone who looked good in pictures but looked 100 percent better in person. "Same here, take care." They shook hands again and Brian went off with a wave toward the parking garage.
Jamie went out the front doors in a daze and headed up the street. He opened the jewel case. The insert had all their signatures on it and he looked at Brian's neat writing on the CD itself. "To a closet fan, your secret's safe with me. Take care, Brian Littrell." Jamie blushed at the wording, thinking quickly. 'Does he know or was it just a coincidence that he used that phrase.' He shoved the CD into his backpack.
The one thing he knew for sure was that Brian had been visiting Lance. Jamie couldn't wait to get Lance alone for this one.
After delivering the food and dropping off a meal bucket for the security guys, Jamie quietly entered the room he and Justin were sharing. Justin was a lump covered with blankets over his head. It was a little cool in the room so Jamie turned the AC down. Putting their lunch on the table he stripped down to his boxerbriefs and slipped into bed.
Justin was warm and his smooth back felt comforting against Jamie. Closing his eyes, he reached around to hold him in his arms. Justin let out a satisfied 'mmmm' and pressed back into him. Jamie let one hand rub over Justin's stomach and chest. He loved the feeling of Justin's smooth skin over his hard muscles, the slightly hairy chest.
Jamie eyes popped open in surprise. 'Hairy chest!!' he screamed in his mind. With a loud yell he jumped off the bed and backed to the wall. A surprised JC sat up in the bed rubbing his eyes. Justin ran out of the bathroom with toothpaste around his mouth while Lance ran into the room with Mike right behind him.
"What's going on?" JC asked still half asleep.
Justin looked at the scene and started laughing. Jamie looked at him like he was crazy and went into his arms. "Justin, what's Josh doing in our bed?" Mike saw that there wasn't any threat and went back into the hall.
"He knocked on the door a little while ago and asked if he could take a nap here but wouldn't tell me why. I was pretty much awake anyway so..." Justin shrugged.
"Josh, have you been here the entire time?" Lance asked.
"No, I was walking around the hotel. When I saw -him- leaving I came back upstairs and asked J if I could take a nap here for a bit."
"Come on. I'm hungry and need some lunch plus we need to talk."
"I really don't want to talk, Lance."
"Well that's too bad because we need to, -now-."
JC nodded in reluctant agreement, got off the bed and dressed. "Sorry for scaring you, Jamie."
"It's ok, Josh." Jamie reached over and pulled him into a hug. "Remember, he loves -you-," he whispered in JC's ear. With a sad sigh he joined Lance and they left.
"What was that all about?" Justin asked now completely confused. "Who were they talking about."
Jamie led Justin over to the table and they started eating. "Brian Littrell visited Lance today."
Justin let his breath out through his mouth. "You're kidding! How'd you find out?"
"We met on the elevator."
Justin snickered. "He's pretty cute, isn't he?"
"Ya, just as cute as you but you're way sexier."
Justin smiled wickedly, got on his knees and crawled over to Jamie's chair. He kissed Jamie's stomach and licked his way up his chest to his collarbone and neck. "Good answer." The rest of their lunch was quickly forgotten for a short while.
"So where are we going again?" Jamie whispered to Justin. They were dressed nicely, in a limo, and resting comfortably for the short ride.
"Some restaurant that Chris knows about that's not too far from here. It's supposed to be real good, kinda fancy and specializes in steaks," Justin answered quietly.
Jamie nodded. He looked over to the facing seat at Lance and JC. JC had one arm around Lance's shoulders while the other hand held one of Lance's. Lance was resting his head against JC's shoulder and had a small contented smile. JC had a neutral expression on his face as he looked up and caught Jamie's eyes. He gave Jamie a sad smile that didn't touch his eyes before leaning down and kissing Lance's forehead.
Jamie sighed and leaned into Justin. "Are they gonna be ok?" Justin asked.
"I sure hope so, JuJu."
Before long they pulled up to a nondescript building and hopped out to the sidewalk. The sign on the door read: 'McCaffrey's.'
"You sure this is it, Chris?" Lance asked.
"Yup. Come on, let's eat!"
They went through the door and found themselves in a slightly elegant dining room. The host met them and bowed to Chris. "Mr. Kirkpatrick, how good to see you again. Please follow me."
The group snickered at Chris as they followed the host to the side of the restaurant and through a door into a private dining room. There were candles everywhere and soft music was playing.
"How romantic. Chris, I didn't know you had it in you," Lance remarked with a smirk. JC nodded in agreement to Lance and with a nervous smile held out his hand. Lance took it with a happy sigh.
Jamie leaned against Justin and grinned at him. "I agree. This is just great."
"Well, you all remember this and don't doubt me again. Just wait until you taste the steaks."
They all chose seats at the table while the host poured some wine. "Would anyone like something other than wine and water for now?" Not receiving any requests he passed out menus. "Your server will be George and be rest assured we are very discreet here and Mr. Kirkpatrick has seen to your privacy needs." With that he left.
Everyone looked at Chris, puzzled. "What, do I have two heads or something?"
"What did he mean by 'Mr. Kirkpatrick has seen to our privacy needs?'" JC asked.
"Dani and I have eaten here a couple of times and they know us. I arranged it so that whatever they see here stays in this room and we have it for the whole night. George is a good kid and we can trust him to keep his mouth shut."
"Oh, Poppa, you're so considerate." Jamie reached over and pinched his cheek then leaned the other way and gave Justin a healthy kiss.
The evening was great. Even JC seemed to come out of his shell a little to enjoy himself. As promised the steaks were the best they had tasted. In between courses the couples took turns dancing. George turned out to be a friendly kid. A senior at a local high school, he was smart, personable and completely at ease with serving his celebrity guests. Joey questioned him about it when he cleared the entree dishes.
"Well," he replied quietly, "we do see some celebrities occasionally. Last weekend the Backstreet Boys were here." He left with the dishes.
"That's odd, why would they come here?" Chris asked nobody in particular.
"Geez, old man, you forget that Brian and Kevin grew up and have family here?" Justin joked. "Plus Kevin got married last weekend so they were all in town."
"I guess I just forgot. I thought this place was all mine," he pouted.
"You're not as unique as you thought, Chris," Joey joked with him.
George returned with their desserts and refilled all their wine glasses. "Will there be anything else that I can get you right now?"
Lance looked toward Jamie and Justin and noticed a growing nervousness between them and motioned to George. After whispering in his ear, George nodded and left the room.
"What was that about, Lance," Joey asked.
"Just a little something I think I'd like," he answered mysteriously.
They oo'd and aah'd over the chocolate mousse while Lance watched the couple across the table. Justin was biting his lower lip and Jamie was pulling on his ear, both signs of them being nervous.
"Something bothering you two?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Yes... No!" they answered together. Both blushed and looked down at their plates.
"Well it looks like one or both of you have something going on in your head," Joey observed.
Justin and Jamie looked at each other with bashful smiles then started to speak at the same time and stopped abruptly. Chris laughed noticing how nervous they both seemed.
"Go ahead, sweet pea. You go first."
"Oh, no. That's ok, you first."
They both smiled at each other at how silly they both sounded.
"Why don't I count to three and you say whatever it is at the same time," Lance suggested. They both nodded and Lance did the count.
They each took a deep breath and said simultaneously: "Will you marry me?"
Chris cheered loudly while Joey sprayed his mouthful of wine in surprise. Lance and JC looked on with smiles. Justin and Jamie stared at each other in surprised shock then they both started laughing. It was clear that neither was -that- surprised that it happened this way.
"Ok, now that's done with, do it right," Chris joked.
"You go first, sweet pea."
Jamie got down on one knee and held Justin's hands. "Justin, I have no way to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You've done more for me than you know and made everything I've gone through bearable. I can't imagine a day without you and want to be there for you like you are for me. I'd be the happiest person on earth if you would marry me."
Justin then knelt down himself. "Jamie, I've never met anybody that makes me feel the way you do. I love everything about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my friend and lover, my soul mate and I would be honored if you'd marry me."
They knelt silently staring at each other, having silently having answered the other's question. That wasn't good enough for the others in the room.
"Well, are either of you going to give an answer?" JC asked with a smile.
"I think they already have," Lance answered.
They both blushed and answered 'Yes' very loudly. They both reached into their pockets and withdrew ring boxes as they took their seats. Justin's ring was gold with a wave pattern cut into it while Jamie's was silver with a celtic scroll around the band. Both rings were topped by bright red garnets, their birth stone. They were so tuned into each other it didn't surprise them that they picked the same stones.
Justin read the inscription on the ring Jamie held: 'GMHS My love always.' Jamie's silver ring read: 'TIPY forever and always.' Tears started falling as they put the rings on each other. Holding hands they stared lovingly at each other.
"Come on, don't be shy now," Joey kidded as he started tapping his wine glass with his spoon. Justin looked over at him with a smirk and pulled Jamie in for a kiss while the guys cheered. As if on cue, George entered the room carrying a tray of filled champagne flutes. The host was right behind him with a couple of extra bottles on ice.
"I propose a toast," Chris said raising his glass. Everyone took a glass and waited. "To Justin and Jamie, may they have many happy years together."
"Here, here," they all agreed.
Everyone started talking at once asking questions. It all came out that Lance and JC were the only ones who knew exactly what might happen. Chris' suggestion about the restaurant fit right in.
"So how did you know they were both gonna ask?" Joey questioned.
"It was pretty easy since they both called me to tell me," he laughed.
After a few more toasts, Justin called to get their attention. He looked at Jamie with a serious expression and smiled at him warmly. "I have something else that I need to say."
Once he had everybody's attention he started. "Jamie, I know the life we all lead is rough on relationships and I feel like I can't give you everything while we're hiding from the world. I've had to pretend for so long it's almost second nature to me, but that's not what I want for us. Even though you deny it, I know that having to hide our love is a strain on you." Justin paused gathering his strength for the decision he was making. "So I promise you this. When we get married it will be as two openly gay men, no hiding and no lies."
Tears were flowing down Jamie's face. "You... you'd do that for us?"
Justin nodded solemnly. Jamie took a deep breath and fainted in his seat. With a chuckle Chris dipped his napkin in some water and dabbed at Jamie's forehead while Justin rubbed his hands. Within seconds Jamie came to.
"I fainted, didn't I?" Justin nodded. Jamie cupped Justin's cheek with his hand. "I love you, Justin. In or out of the closet, nothing will ever change that."
"I love you too, sweet pea. I can't guarantee you when but this is something I want to do."
"We'll do it together and I'll wait forever if I need to."
Justin picked up Jamie's hand and kissed the back of it. "Hopefully it won't be forever." He looked towards his friends who had supported him for so long. "Guys, I know that this decision affects all of us and not just Jamie and me. The world isn't perfect and I know I'm taking a big risk deciding this and we'll be doing alot of talking as a group. I'm determined to do whatever I have to and if that means leaving NSync so that it survives then so be it. I won't bring you all down if that's what it comes to. Josh... Lance... I know this will be hardest on you two. Please, I'm not trying to force you into anything you're not ready for. I'm doing this for myself and for Jamie and I don't want it to pressure you one way or the other."
"We understand, Justin. Don't worry about us, we'll be ok," Lance assured him. "We knew this day would come eventually." JC nodded silently in agreement.
"And don't you even think of leaving this group, Justin Timberlake," Chris scolded. "We're a team and brothers. We stand by our own. I think I speak for everybody when I say that this is something we'll deal with together." He looked around the room. "All six of us," he added with a warm smile to Jamie.
Justin looked around the table at the supportive nods from his best friends, his brothers, before settling in on the admiring gaze of his true love.
Jamie sat on a stool in the middle of the empty stage. The arena was quiet while everyone was off on their lunch break. Soon the guys would be in for a short rehearsal and the sound check. He had slipped away for a little private time to think about the future. He had brought his guitar with him, playing always soothed him.
Going through a few slow exercises, he stretched out his fingers as they were a little stiff. He just played without thinking, moving from one song to another not really listening to what was coming out.
Jamie was so glad that timing worked out and he could join the guys, even though it was only for the weekend. He sighed, remembering that he had a late flight that left shortly after dinner. It scared him how much he truly needed Justin, but he was comforted to know that it was mutual. They had hardly left each other's side since he arrived.
'I'm going to get married,' Jamie thought to himself as his mind came back around to that fact. He couldn't go long before it was again on his thoughts. His playing faltered momentarily as a warm flush ran through him. Strangely, the thought didn't make him nervous or anxious. Every time he looked at the ring on his finger he had the feeling that this was right and it was meant to be this way.
'Jamie Timberlake,' he mused to himself. It sounded much better to him than Justin Campbell. Besides, even if Justin changed his name, he'd always be known as Justin Timberlake, it would have to remain his stage name. 'How about a hyphen,' he thought. 'Jamie Campbell-Timberlake.' That had a really nice ring to it.
A single tear traveled down his cheek as he smiled. He had been doing a lot of weeping this weekend, especially last night and this morning. They had used the morning to call all their parents. Jamie's family was planning a big party and had invited all the guys to Maine during a short break after the Fourth of July. They could tell that Lynn was crying and promised to meet up with them as soon as she could. Justin left a message with Randall and Lisa to give him a call, they weren't home at the time.
A song came to him suddenly, so he started it. His voice rang out over the empty hall.
"Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be."
He didn't notice Justin over to the side of the stage. Lance and Josh joined him and a moment later Chris, Joey and Lonnie as well.
"Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny that joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying without wings."
Johnny Wright walked up to the group and was about to loudly tell them to start the rehearsal. Wade was with him and nudged him to be quiet and pointed to Jamie on stage. Johnny looked on in rapt attention.
"Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry.
You find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings."
Mel had come up and stood beside Wade and put her head on his shoulder. He smiled at her and held her around the waist. Justin leaned back against Lance and JC who put their hands on his shoulders.
"So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete."
Justin took several steps forward and stopped, just in Jamie's line of sight. Jamie looked into his eyes and sang to him as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings."
Justin closed the distance between them, placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder for the last bit of the song.
"You're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings."
The guitar finished as the echo of the last word faded. Jamie looked around and saw everyone watching him. He wiped his eyes and smiled bashfully. Justin took him in his arms.
"I love you so very much, sweet pea. You're gonna be my husband," he said with a smile.
Jamie leaned against Justin's shoulder. "I love you too. You make me so happy. I want to be your husband and you to be mine." They kissed happily. "JuJu, I can't leave tonight. I'll call the studio and let them know."
"Are you sure? It's only three days."
Jamie nodded. "I don't ever want to be away from you again."
"You don't have to if you don't want to. We'll work something out." Justin held Jamie tightly and kissed him tenderly.
Johnny went over to Lance who was being held by JC, both their eyes watery. "I knew he could play, but you never told me he could sing too," he said quietly to Lance who smiled at him broadly.
"That is one special boy," Lonnie said in a deep voice from behind them. By now most of the 'NSync crew had returned and were watching attentively, knowing something important was happening. The band had taken their places as well. Kevin watched the pair with a wide smile.
Justin kissed Jamie once more and looked to him asking a silent question. Jamie agreed with a slight nod.
"Everyone, we have an announcement," Justin called getting all their attention. "The guys already know this but we wanted to tell y'all because you're family too. Yesterday Jamie and I got engaged and we plan to get married." Cheers erupted from around the stage as everyone offered Jamie and Justin their congratulations. The happy couple had retreated into their own little world, locked in a loving kiss.
Wade looked on with a sigh. "Why are all the good ones taken?"
Mel pinched his cheek then flung her arm around his shoulder. "Why are all the good ones gay?"
Wade blushed and they went to join the growing crowd on the stage. Rehearsal could wait a little while.
tbc...
Notes:
Flying Without Wings: Steve Mac/Wayne Hector - 1999/2000
This is an incredible song on Westlife's album. I had originally used another song here instead and was listening to Westlife while editing and this song came on. The third verse tells Jamie's feelings better than he could himself at this point in the story and I had to include it.
There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
Jim bangoremail@aol.com