Greetings everyone,
Well, I was just reading through the archive and caught the Nifty News item about the additional website for the archive and checked it out. I found that my story was given a Nifty Story Award by SuperJoey. The awards (separate from the main Boyband Story Awards) are given by each staff member to their favorite story. So I want to officially thank SuperJoey here. Thanks!!!
Art imitates life, or is it life imitates art? Oh well, whatever! LOL I was reading up and visited some websites and found one where a girl in Chicago chronicled her meetings with the guys of 'NSync outside their hotel in Chicago before the last show of the summer tour. Her account didn't paint Justin in a very good light... seems he was having a bad day. So I'll use that and explain why. Of course my brain is mush and I can't remember her name or her web address, but if she reads this, thank you for a peak into real life.
Also, I think it was Joey and not JC that went to the movie premiere, but it works better in my world if JC went. Also I finally figured I'd let Dirk come into the story... hey, why not.
To all my faithful readers, those who write and those who don't... Thank You! (and that was NOT a plea to get mail... honestly, hee hee)
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
Flying Without Wings - Chapter Seven
Jamie hesitated outside the room. 'Why is this happening?' he thought to himself with dismay. Steeling himself he took a deep breath he pushed the door open. Rocky was sitting on the bed his head in his hands and looked up as he heard Jamie shut the door behind him.
"Back again."
"Why can't you leave me alone?" Jamie started pacing then stopped and glared at Rocky. "Let me get on with my life!"
"I'm sorry I slapped you," Rocky apologized holding his arms out to Jamie, apparently ignoring Jamie's plea and sticking to horrible reality.
Jamie sighed. "No, we're not repeating this and I'm not going anywhere near you. You... y-y-you... you raped me, you bastard!!"
Rocky recoiled as if Jamie had slapped him. "You called me a whore," he started but gave up with a sigh. "I didn't mean to rape you like that," the dream Rocky murmured.
"You hit me several times and almost broke my nose," Jamie yelled. "You didn't mean to," he added snidely. "You're pathetic and a sorry excuse for a human being. Besides, you're just my dream. Go away!"
Rocky's image blurred then went solid again. "It's not that easy, Jamie-boy. I'm in there," he said pointing to Jamie's head, "and I'll never let you go, not until I've had my fun."
Jamie's blood ran cold and he wailed in despair and slumped down to his knees. "Please just leave me alone," he whimpered. "I'm so tired."
Rocky stood and towered over him. Jamie backed away slowly. An odd expression came over Rocky's face and his voice changed to one that was kinder and gentler. "You know what you need to do." In an instant his expression changed to one of feral hate and Jamie screamed.
Lance was deep in blissful slumber. His peaceful dream of walking hand in hand with JC along a bright sandy beach was interrupted by an ear splitting scream. Lance bolted out of bed in a panic to see Jamie in the next bed over struggling with his covers as he tried to run.
Crossing the short space, Lance sat on the bed and grabbed Jamie's wrists. "Jamie, it's ok. It was only a dream."
"No, leave me alone, no!" Jamie cried pulling away. "Justin, where are you?" he whimpered and curled into a ball as far from Lance as he could get.
Lance sighed sadly and rubbed Jamie's back. "Jamie, it's me, Lance. You were dreaming, everything is fine."
"Lance?" Jamie asked like a little child. He was finally waking and shaking off the nightmare.
"I'm right here, Jamie," Lance replied pulling Jamie into his arms.
Jamie sobbed and clutched Lance tightly. "Thank you, Lance. I'm sorry I woke you up."
Lance smiled and rocked Jamie gently trying to soothe him. "Don't you worry about that. Wanna talk about it?"
Jamie shook his head firmly. "Not now," he said softly then shuddered.
Lance held him for awhile longer until his shivering had disappeared. "You think you can sleep now?"
Jamie nodded slowly. "Will... will you stay with me?"
"Sure, why don't you take off that shirt, it's soaked."
Jamie complied and they settled down with Lance spooning Jamie from behind. Jamie cautiously reached out and pulled Lance's arm around his waist. Lance gladly pulled Jamie to him and hugged him tight.
It was still early in the morning when the limo pulled up in front of the hotel. Even though the location of the group's accommodations was always kept a secret, they could count on the die-hard fans finding out and gathering. Justin, JC and Chris sighed when they saw the small group of about two dozen girls gathered on each side of the hotel door.
"Don't they ever give up?" Justin asked tiredly. It had been a hard three days since the buses pulled out of New York. The morning after the show in Hershey, the three had gone back to New York for a movie premiere and flown out to Chicago first thing that morning to rejoin everyone else. They were tired and Justin seemed a bit bad tempered for being away from Jamie.
"I know I risk getting my head ripped off here, but Just, it's only been about 24 hours," Chris ventured.
Justin looked at him for a moment, expressionless. JC held his breath waiting for Justin's explosion. Justin exhaled loudly and sighed. "I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."
"I'm sure everything's fine. Lance is keeping an eye on him and they shared a room last night," JC consoled.
They left the limo and went into the hotel with just a few friendly waves for their fans. Chris noticed that Justin waved once and quickly went inside. He and JC followed just a minute later and joined him on the elevator. JC had a sympathetic frown while Chris looked at him disapprovingly.
Getting off at their floor they were welcomed by JC's mom and his brother Tyler. "Ma, you got here early," JC exclaimed giving her a hug then his brother. Justin followed with a hug to Karen and a high five to Tyler before heading off down the hall.
"Quietly Justin, nobody's up yet apparently," Karen advised. Justin nodded with a smile and continued on.
"Is he ok?" Tyler asked.
"Just tired and he didn't like being away from Jamie," Chris answered hugging Karen then giving Tyler one as well.
Karen shook her head. "I can almost understand that, but they have to realize that being apart every so often is only natural."
JC nodded in agreement. "Usually that's true, but Jamie has been having a rough time lately."
Karen looked at Justin's retreating back sympathetically. "How about some breakfast? Go get Lance and meet us down in the restaurant."
JC smiled. "Sure, we'll be down as soon as he gets ready."
Justin reached the door that Lonnie pointed to and knocked softly. Getting no answer he tried the knob and found it unlocked. He stuck his head in and noticed the room was dim and some gentle snoring was coming from one of the beds. Going all the way into the room he looked to see Lance spooning Jamie from behind. Both were soundly sleeping, the snore was coming from Lance.
Justin grinned and watched them for a minute before being interrupted by JC coming into the room. Justin could see the storm clouds go across his face. Just as quickly it was replaced by something else that he could only describe as defeat.
JC turned and started walking out but Justin stopped him and pushed him into the bathroom. "Ok, what just crawled up your ass?"
"Nothing, Justin. I just need to not be here right now."
Justin looked at him and shook his head. "I know you better than that. I saw the look on your face. Is what's in the other room bothering you?"
"No," JC answered unconvincingly.
"It does, I can see it in your eyes."
"If you knew the answer then why did you ask," JC said smartly. "Doesn't it bother you?"
"No, I think it's cute." He caught the look of disbelief in JC's eyes. "Look, Josh, I trust Jamie and Lance completely. Don't you?"
JC nodded slowly. "Yes, I know Lance would never do anything like cheat on me."
"Well, it's good you can say it, but I don't think you really believe it."
JC started to protest but Justin stopped him. "It's ok, one step at a time. I -know- Jamie would never, so that should be good enough for both of us. Besides, the other bed is messed up so my guess is Jamie had a nightmare and Lance comforted him and fell asleep."
"You're right, of course." JC sighed and sat on the closed toilet. "I want to be so sure of everything like you." He took Justin's hands. "You've grown into a good man, Justin."
Justin smiled at his best friend. "Whatever I am I owe some thanks to you." He pulled JC up and gave him a big hug. He stared into his eyes for a long minute. "Josh, I know that there are things bothering you and I won't butt in if you don't want me to. I just want you to know that you can come and talk to me anytime you want. I'll still love you just as much and I could never judge you."
"Thanks, Just. I'll remember that."
Justin cocked his head a little then nodded. "So how about we go wake up our fiances?"
They left the bathroom and went to opposite sides of the bed. "They do look cute cuddled together like that," JC said looking down at them. He sat on the side of the bed and started stroking Lance's forehead with his fingers. Lance sighed in his sleep, released Jamie and turned toward JC.
Justin nodded with a smile and knelt down to face Jamie. He looked so peaceful sleeping that Justin didn't really want to wake him. When Lance moved he whimpered a little and pulled the covers tighter around him. Justin grinned and placed a kiss on his forehead. Jamie murmured and relaxed. Justin moved his kisses to his cheeks and finally his mouth. Jamie woke slowly as Justin kissed his lips over and over.
"Mmmm, I thought I was dreaming at first. Hi," he said shyly.
"Hi," Justin said softly and kissed Jamie again.
JC continued to stroke Lance's forehead as he woke. The minute his eyes opened and saw JC he smiled. JC leaned down and kissed him deeply.
"Love you, sugar. How was your flight?" Lance asked when they parted.
JC smiled. "Love you too. It was fine, too early though, but Justin wouldn't hear of waiting any longer than necessary."
"I'll have to say he made a good choice." Lance looked over to see Jamie and Justin locked in a heavy kiss. "Aren't they cute?"
"I think we beat them hands down."
"I could use one of those too," he said pointing across the bed. JC grinned and gave Lance exactly what he wanted.
"What do you mean no?!" Justin yelled unexpectedly at the speaker phone. Jamie jumped in his seat and put a hand on his arm.
They had all gathered in Chris' room after lunch for a brief meeting with Johnny and Mel to discuss plans for the next week. Their rep from Jive, Mike, was on the phone to give the label a voice in what it wanted from them during their semi-vacation.
They'd gone over the schedule and it made Justin fume. Tomorrow they had off to recoup from the tour and end of tour party. Thursday and Friday had them busy doing promo work in Chicago and Saturday, Justin, Chris and JC flew out to San Diego for the Teen Choice Awards taping. They flew back into Orlando on Monday night.
"Justin, we've been over this before," Mike smoothed. "You'll be there to accept the award for hottest male. You can't be there with your boyfriend!"
Jamie sighed knowing that wasn't the best way of dealing with Justin and expecting him to be calm. The schedule was all pretty normal stuff, except that it was suggested Jamie go home to Orlando or New York after the day off with the rest of the crew and he was forbidden to accompany the guys to San Diego. That was what had Justin upset.
"It's not like we'll be kissing and hugging, Mike," Justin argued. "Hell, he doesn't even have to go to the ceremony itself. I'd just like him with me."
"Justin, it's ok," Jamie interjected. "I'll just go home and get it ready for Josh's party."
"But..." Justin tried and Jamie put his fingers on his lips.
"No buts. Really, I'll be fine. I'm not made of glass."
Justin exhaled and looked at Jamie uncomfortably. "I'll fly home first thing Monday morning," he said insistently.
"Justin," Johnny interrupted, "there'll be interviews and things you'll need to do Monday."
"It's ok, Johnny, Chris and I can deal with them," JC suggested.
"And if it will make you feel better, Jamie can tag with me this weekend. I have some promos to do with Meredith and he's welcome to come along," Lance suggested.
"When are you planning on being back in Orlando?" Jamie asked Lance.
"Sunday night. Meredith is making the State Fair rounds and I promised I would introduce her at a couple when I could. It will be good for you to be seen doing Freelance stuff with me as we go forward with our plan."
Jamie nodded. "Sounds like fun."
Justin pouted and crossed his arms. "I guess I don't get what I want."
Jamie smiled and kissed his cheek. "Not this time, babe. I promise to make it up to you."
Justin gave his love a half smile then looked intently at Johnny. "The very first plane on Monday morning or I don't go at all."
"Ok, you win. You're spoiled you know that?" Johnny asked with a grin.
"Johnny, I don't think that's wise," Mike interjected.
"Too bad, Mike. That's the way it's going to be. We've just come off a long tour and I need some down time, period!" Justin looked around the room to see general agreement.
"Well, I guess the label can't argue with that. You guys have worked your butts off and everyone here at Jive are really pleased. Justin, I'm sorry if I've come across as a hard ass. That's not my intent."
"It's cool, Mike. I know you're only doing your job. I don't mind at all as long as you don't think I'm being a whiny brat."
"Hey, no skin off my nose. I'm used to artists trying to get their own way. You win this one, kiddo."
Justin nodded but he still didn't look all that pleased. Jamie sat uncomfortably while they went over some more details then they broke to head to the stadium. Jamie gave Justin a kiss and stood to leave. "See you at the stadium."
"Wait, you're not coming with us?" Justin asked. The others either left quietly or busied themselves with paperwork.
"I've got to check with the band. They're leaving just after you, plus I want to give them my gifts for taking it easy on me."
Justin looked even more unhappy. "But..."
Jamie shook his head and smiled up at Justin's pouting face. "Sweetie, it's only a 20 minute drive and we'll be there 10 minutes after you. I need to set the vacation schedule with them while we're on the road since Kevin is still out." Jamie kissed Justin and used is tongue to erase the pout. "That's better. You're much better looking that way."
"The bus is waiting," Lance announced.
The guys filed out and Justin looked unhappily one last time at Jamie. He sighed, kissed him again and went through the door. "Mel, you coming with me?" Jamie asked.
"Yup, Johnny?"
"Mike and I have a few more things to talk about. See you later," Johnny waved at them.
Jamie and Mel headed to the elevator. "Mel, can we talk..." Jamie started.
Justin looked out over the lobby at the small crowd gathered. His mood had darkened on the elevator ride and he really didn't want to deal with this. There were a few contest winners in the lobby and Justin put on his game face for them as he and the guys signed autographs and posed for pictures.
Lance broke away first when his cell phone rang. He answered the call then put the phone away. "Sorry girls, but I have some work I need to do. Thanks for being here." He waved and went out the doors.
The others finished and said their goodbyes. One at a time they headed to the bus. From his spot beside the door he could see Lance stop, pose for a picture then head onto the bus. JC, his mom and Tyler were right behind him and posed for more pictures and signed some autographs. Karen carried a basket that contained JC's birthday presents from his family. Joey went out and immediately started working the crowd with Chris right behind him.
Lonnie tapped Justin on the shoulder. "Come on, Curly. Your turn." Justin nodded and followed Lonnie who stopped when blocked by an older teenager. "Move aside please." The girl stood her ground and Justin smirked a little at her courage in facing down Lonnie. "I asked you nicely, Miss. Please move aside," Lonnie repeated. The girl moved a fraction and Justin just shook his head.
Lonnie made a hand gesture and Justin skirted around him and swept past the girl and quickly made his way to the bus. He really was in no mood to deal with the fans today and ignored all their requests and calls to him. One girl shoved a pad and pencil in his hands and jogged alongside of him. He signed it quickly and handed it back to her without missing a step.
Jumping on the bus, he sat in one of the seats up front. Waves of guilt crashed through him. Never before had he so blatantly ignored the fans in such a way. Feeling badly he stood to go back out and make some amends. Chris and Joey bounded up the stairs both giving him odd looks. He looked out the door and saw JC hug his mother then Tyler and take the basket from her.
"Tell Dad and Heather I said hi and I'll see them for dinner on Thursday," he called as he came on board. As soon as he was in the door closed and the bus started off.
Justin sat back down and scowled. Kicking the seat in front him, he started chewing on his thumbnail.
"I thought we'd broken you of that habit," Chris stated with a smile.
Justin put his hands in his lap and looked out the window. "Ya, sometimes I backslide though."
Chris nodded and sat next to him. "You wanna tell me what's bugging you?"
Justin sighed. "It's stupid, nothing. You'll think I'm being a baby."
"It's about not having Jamie with you, isn't it?" Justin nodded. "Just, it's no biggie.
"I know, Chris. It's just that I feel so bad and there's nothing I can do about it."
"Justin, Jamie knows you love him and wouldn't leave his side if you could. He understands that this is your job and that you can't always be right there for him 24/7."
Justin sighed. "I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. But it's more than that."
"More?"
"It's not just that I want to be there to help him. I want him near me 'cause I need him too."
With a smile, Chris patted Justin's shoulder. Justin was silent a moment. "How do you deal with being away from Dani?"
Chris thought a moment. "I guess since we've been together for so long it isn't as much of a big deal like it was. You remember when we first started going steady that she was on tour all the time and I was mopey alot?"
"I remember," Justin smiled. "We kidded you all the time about being in love."
"That's right. Well, now it's your turn. Your relationship is still so new that you can't get enough of each other. In time, you'll both get more comfortable and be able to weather the separations better."
"You make it sound like we won't care any more."
"I never said that. I still call Dani at least twice a day, most of the time more. It hasn't gotten any easier to be away from her, I just deal with it better."
Justin smiled at Chris and put his head on his shoulder. Chris wrapped an arm around Justin and hugged him. "Now, if you ever do what you did to the fans again I'm gonna have to spank you."
With a big sigh, Justin looked at Chris with a frown. "I'm sorry. I do feel bad about that. I was just about to go back out when you and Joey came on the bus." Chris nodded and Justin smiled at him.
"What's with that smile? It usually means you're up to something."
"How do you know I might not like a spanking?" he asked wagging his eyebrows.
"Ewwww, Justin. That's just too much! I don't need to know this."
Justin hugged Chris to him. "Thanks, Pop!"
"Anytime, Justy."
"So everything's going well with the plan so far?" Jamie asked Mel.
"Sure is, smooth sailing. Your brother has been a great help. He turned us onto some boards we didn't even know existed."
Jamie nodded with a smile. "He practically lives on the internet. Any bad feedback so far?"
"None at all, really. We've already started putting up some veiled gay rumors and they're munching on those right now. But from what I've read and seen so far no bad reactions."
"Wow, it didn't take to long to get there."
"Phil was right about Justin being a hot topic. They had stopped talking about the first round of stuff after only a couple of weeks. We let it sit for a week then started up again."
"Ok, so that's what we do throughout August, right?"
Mel nodded. "We're going slow with these rumors, pretty much doing one at a time. Each takes about a week to wind down so by September we'll be ready for more. And tying you publicly to 'NSync some more will start happening too. You're doing stuff with Lance this month and you'll be with them instead of me for their appearances in Florida as well. We'll have you go with them to LA for the video shoot and to the VMA's too. We'll see how that fuels the rumors. You sure you can't join them for Japan?"
Jamie shook his head in the negative. "I need to work sometimes too," he laughed. "Besides, it's my mother's birthday that weekend and my brothers and I are treating her to a weekend in New York."
Mel smiled at him. "You're so sweet. Well, so far the gay message boards have all pretty much decided that Justin is gay. Lance was never a doubt with them, but now JC is being talked about as well, which will be good for them in the long run."
"Good. It will take awhile for the stuff from the gay message boards to filter into the mainstream ones. When do you expect that we'll be ready for step three?"
"Probably not until after the tour starts again in October. That way you're both in a more controlled environment and the press can't get at you unless we let them. Until then we stick to skirting the questions if they're asked and being evasive, which only fuels the fire more. Once you're on tour you both start with the privacy act."
Jamie nodded. "Sounds like it's all working like it should."
"I just wanted you to be prepared. Once the word 'gay' is used, -that's- when we might be seeing some of the more negative opinions."
"Ya, I'm ready for it. We'll probably get alot more of those than supportive ones, huh?"
"That's always the way it works," Mel sighed sadly. "We'll be trying to get as many fans to respond as we can so that you don't get overwhelmed with the bad shit."
"Great, well it seems like you've been working hard."
Mel laughed. "I really haven't done a whole lot so far. Janine back at the office and Phil have been doing it almost single-handedly. But now that the tour is ending I'll get more involved."
"How about the label? How are they reacting?"
Mel blushed slightly. "We haven't told them about the plan."
Jamie gawked at her. "You mean they're completely in the dark?"
"Pretty much." Mel noticed Jamie's look and held him off. "You know they'd put a stop to it if we told them so Johnny and I decided to keep it in-house and act just as surprised as them when it all comes out. Don't worry, they're actually being real supportive. Mike told me this morning that he's been keeping up with the rumors and told me that whatever happens the label is behind you all the way."
"This is really gonna work, isn't it?"
"It will if I have anything to say about it," she smiled. "This can either be a PR's nightmare or dream come true. To be honest, it's a challenge that I'm enjoying a great deal."
"So you leave tonight?" Justin asked Lance.
"Ya, 8:00 flight to Kansas. I wish we didn't have to leave until the morning but Meredith has a photo shoot early and I want to be there."
Justin shook his head in understanding. "You'll take care of him, right?"
Lance smiled at his friend. "You know I will. I'll keep him so busy he won't have time to be lonely."
Justin smiled back. "Thanks. Let's find him a present."
They traveled around the mall, cherishing this hour off without any distractions. After the record signing, the mall much shut down for an hour 'for roof repairs.' Most of the stores agreed to stay open for 'NSync so they could shop in peace. The managers were happy to comply using the time to clean, tidy up and take inventory.
The guys made a point to visit each open store and spend some money to make it worth their while. They gave autographs to the clerks and took pictures that the stores could use to say that they had shopped there. The privilege of fame was sometimes very convenient.
Joey had taken JC to an arcade to keep him busy while the others shopped for his birthday. Chris struck out on his own while Lance and Justin wandered from shop to shop, accumulating bags as they went. They had both gotten JC presents and now Justin wanted one for Jamie.
As they passed a pet store Lance pulled on Justin's arm. "Hey, let's go in here."
Justin smiled as they entered the store. It had been a habit for Lance to drag anyone with him into pet stores wherever they were. Something about looking at all the animals brought out happy memories from his childhood. Justin didn't mind, he loved looking himself.
The girl at the counter smiled and blushed at them but left them alone while they browsed. They took their time looking over all the animals. Stopping at the birds they laughed at all the squawks and squeaks coming from their cages. Dogs came next and a few puppies looked at them with sad eyes that nearly broke Justin's heart. He'd always liked dogs, having had one as a young boy.
Next came the bunnies and guinea pigs, then the lizards, snakes and spiders which Justin and Lance gave a wide berth. Lance kept going but Justin stopped at the cats. He'd had one of these also as a kid. He looked over all the usual and exotic breeds the store had before a pair of yellowish eyes caught his attention.
Justin looked around and noticed Lance stopped in front of another display with the same look on his face. They glanced at one another, sighed and headed to the front counter. A short time later they caught up with the others at the main entrance. Both Justin and Lance were holding pet carriers in one hand, their bags and pet supplies in the other.
"Oh no! What have you bought now?" JC asked Lance with a smirk.
"Seems whatever came over Lance infected Justin too," Joey said with a smile.
"Hey, mine's a gift," Justin defended himself.
"Ok, let's see what we've got here," Chris said peering down into Justin's carrier.
Justin set it down and opened to door. He reached in and pulled out a long haired kitten. It was multicolored, mostly cream and white. It snuggled into his arms as he held it.
"It looks like a bobcat or something," Joey said scratching the kitten's head. It immediately started purring loudly.
"She's a Maine Coon ," Justin said proudly, "pretty young too."
JC smiled. "I take it you bought her for Jamie, right?" Justin nodded brightly.
Lance reached into his carrier and a long furry blur ran up his arm and onto his shoulder. JC took a step back in alarm.
"Hey, Lance got a weasel!" Chris said in surprise.
The whiskered face sniffed the air from Lance's shoulder and rubbed it's head against Lance's cheek. "He's a ferret, you moron," Lance said with a smile.
"He seems to like you, babe," JC said with a grin.
"That's how I picked him, he's the only one that came up to me from the few they had."
"What's his name?" Chris asked.
"Dirk. He already answers to it since he had a previous owner, so I won't change it."
"Hey Dirk," JC greeted holding out his hand. Dirk sniffed at it and chittered at him. JC pulled his hand back hurriedly.
"Easy, Josh. It means he likes you." Lance moved to stand close to JC so Dirk could check him out. He sniffed at JC's shoulder some more and crawled over. Putting his front feet on top of JC's head, Dirk looked out over him and all around.
"He likes you too, Josh. You look cute together," Justin smiled. He looked down at the kitten who was already half asleep.
"Does she have a name yet?" Joey asked Justin.
"I thought I'd wait for Jamie to name her."
"I think he'll love her," Joey smiled.
"He'll love her even more because she came from you, Just," JC said tenderly.
The bright smile on Justin's face made them all giggle happily.
tbc...
There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com