Greetings everyone,
Please read the end note after the chapter. It contains an important question....
So here's the next chapter and the dreaded day. This one was a little hard to write, for obvious reasons. I wanted to show Jamie's struggle while not making it seem too overly melodramatic or slip into stereotypical soap opera. Always the struggle to keep everything as real as I can.
Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and storyline. I appreciate any and all feedback, thoughts and criticisms (when respectful). On that note I wanted to thank all the Nifty readers and authors I've gotten mail or comments from. Not one has been nasty or insultingly negative. You're all a great bunch of people.
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
Flying Without Wings - Chapter Fifteen
Justin woke slightly and sensed he was alone in bed. Feeling around either side of him confirmed that Jamie had gotten up. Everything was dark as he looked over the room with sleep filled eyes. Jamie was nowhere in sight, but the door to the balcony was open.
Shifting, he moaned slightly at the soreness he felt. Justin had sensed that Jamie was holding some anger inside, so he provoked his dominant side to work off some of that energy. He'd almost underestimated just how aggressive Jamie could get. Justin smiled, remembering their fevered lovemaking.
Gingerly he walked across the room to the open door and stepped out onto the balcony. Jamie was there standing at the rail, naked, looking out across the silent city. Justin's heart constricted tightly in his chest at the sounds of the soft sobs. He crossed the balcony and wrapped his arms around Jamie from behind.
"The city lights are pretty, aren't they," he said simply.
Jamie nodded and leaned back into Justin, resting the back of his head against his shoulder. "You should be asleep, you've got to perform tomorrow."
"I couldn't without you. Did you have a bad dream?"
"No," Jamie shook his head sadly. "Just restless and I didn't want to disturb you."
Justin squeezed Jamie tightly and kissed the hickey on his shoulder. "You can never disturb me. You wanna talk?"
Jamie turned and kissed Justin then took his hand and led him inside. "No, just hold me." They got into bed and snuggled together. Justin gently rubbed Jamie's back until his was breathing heavily and sleeping. With one last prayer for tomorrow to go quickly and quietly, Justin slipped back asleep himself.
The morning was a quiet one. Their shower and breakfast was in virtual silence. Jamie felt like everything was pulling him apart. The only thing keeping him together was Justin's love. As if receiving a telepathic clue Justin would touch Jamie, just so, to calm him or he'd kiss him to let him know that he was loved just when he needed it. They left early and Justin took a scenic drive around town before heading to the studio. They stopped once to pick up some donuts, Lance's favorite Crispie Cremes, for the guys.
Once in the parking lot by the sound stage entrance, Justin turned to Jamie. "How are you doing, sweet pea?" Jamie was slightly pale but seemed to be doing ok.
"Alright, I guess." He paused and rubbed his forehead. "Justin, I'm scared."
Justin ran his fingers over Jamie's cheek. "If you need help or just want to be held all you have to do is ask."
Jamie smiled and grabbed Justin's hand. "You sure I can't just stay at home?" He lovingly kissed each of Justin's knuckles.
"If you -really- want to be home I'll take you there. I'd rather you not be alone, though."
Jamie sat and thought. "I'd like to be at home, but I want to be with you. So that's decided."
Justin sighed. "I'm here for you, there's nothing to worry about. Besides Lonnie will want someone to play cards with while he's waiting. You know how bored he gets."
Jamie smiled and chuckled softly. "Maybe I can get him to sing again. He does the blues really good."
"There you go." They got out of the car and got their bags and Jamie's guitar out of the trunk. Heading into the studio they ran into a production assistant with a clipboard.
"Justin Timberlake?" Justin nodded as the assistant handed him an id. "And sir, you'd be?"
"Jamie Campbell," Jamie replied softly.
Jamie took his id as well and they continued to the dressing rooms. Right outside the five dressing rooms was an area set up as a lounge. On one of the tables was juice and an assortment of fruit.
"See, nothing good to eat," Justin remarked and placed the large box of donuts in the center of the table. Jamie smirked at him and grabbed a banana.
October 14, 2000 - Orlando
Today's the day and I feel horrible. Everyone is around me and are trying to make me feel loved and protected. I really appreciate that, it does help.
But I still feel the hurt deep inside me. I never thought it would be so bad. Leslie warned me last month that the day could unlock alot of emotions and feelings that have been buried deep. Probably all of them that I have left.
Justin is so sweet. He treated me to a wonderful night at that new hotel downtown. It was just us in a hotel room. It's because of him that I know I can get through this.
For some reason I have this anger inside me. I know why I should be angry, but it's been such a long time it surprises me. With all the thoughts running through my head I haven't been able to sleep much. I'm so tired. Justin knows that I'm not doing good and keeps trying to make me take naps with him. Just feeling his arms around me makes me feel better even though I rarely get any shut eye. If it wasn't for him I know I'd go crazy.
I met with Greg the other morning and he was very understanding. He listened to what I was feeling and assured me that my anger was perfectly normal, if a little delayed. He gave me comfort to know that everything I was doing or feeling was right on the mark and that I needed to deal with things as they came so I could put them behind me.
He's a nice guy and gave me a big hug after the session. He read this and was pleased by what he saw. It made me blush when he read the personal things that Justin had written in here for me to find. Laughing it off, he told me that it was pretty tame considering some of the things he'd read and heard in his private practice.
So here's another entry a year after that day. Rocky is in my thoughts today. I'm very confused by him. Part of me wants to feel sorry for him and another for him to rot in hell. Sometimes that anger threatens to burst out and consume me.
A poem by me suggested from a form by Greg called I am:
I am confused,
tired
in love
I feel sad
happy
angry
wanted
resentful
grateful
I want to be happy
to forget
to be a good husband/lover/friend
it to be over
to heal
I am loved
healing
"Jamie, could you help me out here?" Kevin asked.
"Sure, what's up K-Toonz?"
"I just got my acoustic out of the case and found two broken strings and I need to get out and start playing for the crowd for the pre-show. Would you mind changing them and then get it out to me?"
Jamie could sense the desperation about the time crunch in Kevin's voice and readily agreed. "I'd be glad to, now go..." Kevin smiled in gratitude and patted Jamie's shoulder before heading out onto the stage.
Jamie smiled to himself. Everybody was being circumspect about it but he knew that they were all trying to keep him busy. He shook his head and deftly changed first one string then the other. Sitting on a stool he tightened and tuned them. Letting his hands work on their own he let his mind run free at he loosened and tightened the strings several times to set them.
First it was Justin asking him to help choose an outfit from the several that wardrobe had provided. It was Jamie that suggested the brown leather pants and then found a shirt to match it. The v-neck cashmere sweater accented the pants well, and showed off Justin's build perfectly to Jamie's eyes. Justin kissed him and went to make-up.
Next was Chris who couldn't find his shoes. Then Johnny needed him to give directions to some of the media people on one side of the studio while Mel did the same on the opposite side. Just before being snagged by Kevin, Lance had called him into his dressing room to help him with his pants which he said were too tight.
Jamie had to admit that the sight of Lance in nothing but boxer briefs was a pleasant sight. His skin was even smoother than Justin's and blemish free. From behind Lance, he helped him pull the pants up over his hips. They -were- slightly tight and Jamie suspected that JC could have helped just as easily, but he didn't say anything.
"Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate the help," Lance said hugging him tightly. Lance crossed over to the make-up mirror to check and patted some more powder on his forehead. "How -are- you doing?" he asked looking at Jamie through the mirror.
"Holding my own. It's been pretty busy." Lance nodded as the door opened.
JC walked in and closed the door. He gave Jamie a kiss on the side of the head in passing and went up to Lance and kissed him fiercely.
Lance stumbled away out of breath. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"
JC chuckled. "Just trying something."
"Oh?"
"Justin's right, it's very soothing for the nerves. Oh and Jamie, you're wanted in Justin's dressing room," he smirked.
Jamie smiled, waved and left quietly. As he closed the door he noticed JC and Lance lip locked together. That's when Kevin caught him.
Jamie shook his head as he handed the restringed and tuned guitar to a stage hand to bring onstage for Kevin then headed to Justin's dressing room. Rubbing his eyes he finally noticed how tired he was. He didn't lie to Justin the night before. There were no nightmares, he didn't allow himself to have one. Jamie had spent most of the night awake and it showed with the dark circles under his eyes.
He let himself into Justin's dressing room to find him standing there warming up his voice. Jamie let him continue uninterrupted, loving the sound as Justin ran through some scales and bits of tunes in different ranges. Justin finally caught sight of him from the corner of his eye.
"There you are. I wanted to see you for a minute before we have to hackey sack."
"Oh? And why would that be?" Jamie asked shyly.
"Come over here to the couch and I'll tell you." Justin sat with a seductive twinkle in his eye.
"Why Mr. Timberlake, I think you're trying to seduce me."
"Mr, Campbell, I have every intention of doing so," Justin answered back batting his eyelashes.
Jamie crossed the room and sat with Justin. Their lips met and Justin pushed Jamie down on the couch. Almost immediately Jamie started hyperventilating. He pushed Justin off him and jumped from the couch with his arms wrapped around him.
Justin stood uncertainly and put a hand on his shoulder. Jamie flinched but didn't pull away. "Sweet pea, what is it?"
Jamie turned and Justin noticed the look of terror on his face. "I... I... just... had a... a... flash..." Jamie didn't finish the thought before Justin pulled him into his arms and held him tightly.
"It's ok, take deep breaths." Justin rubbed his back until he calmed. A knock on the door startled them and a stage hand called that they were wanted on the set in 5 minutes.
"I'm ok, now," Jamie said pulling away from Justin and sitting on the couch. He put his head in his hands.
Justin sat next to him. Pulling Jamie against him, he cuddled him and gently kissed his neck. "Are you sure? We can delay the taping for a little bit if you need me to be here."
"No, don't do that. I don't want to stay here all day." Jamie looked up, trying to smile, but only half succeeded.
Justin tapped him on the nose with a finger. "I have to agree with you on that one. Why don't you stay here and get some rest. You didn't sleep well last night."
"I slept fine," Jamie protested.
Justin tilted his head and shook it. "Can't fool me, Jameson." One hand caressed Jamie's cheek. "Get some sleep and I'll check on you every time we have a break. I'll have Lonnie watch the door so nobody disturbs you."
"A little nap does sound good," Jamie yawned.
Justin pulled him down and rested his head on a pillow. Jamie closed his eyes as Justin ran his fingers through his hair. A quiet knock on the door caught his attention and Lance poked his head in.
"Time for us to go on."
Justin nodded and turned back to Jamie who was now fast asleep. "I'll be right back. You can listen to us through the monitor. Pleasant dreams, my love," he whispered as he kissed Jamie's forehead. He got up and closed the door behind him. Lonnie was waiting nearby. "Lonnie, I need you to make sure Jamie isn't disturbed and if he goes anywhere stay with him."
Lonnie nodded knowing that 'his Red,' as Lonnie lovingly called him, wasn't in top form. "You bet. You go on out and sing pretty for your boy." Justin smiled at his bodyguard and gave him a hug.
Lance led Justin through the backstage and stopped where they had a little privacy. "How is he?"
Justin broke down and let Lance comfort him with a warm hug. "He's hurting so bad, Lance, and I don't know what to do about it. He just had a memory flash and nearly lost it."
"Shush, shush..." Lance said consoling Justin. "From what I saw you're doing just fine. He'll be ok. How about getting together at my house after we're done, just us guys. All of us together will keep him occupied."
"Thanks, Lance. I know that would be good for me too."
At every break Justin checked on Jamie who slept through almost the entire taping. Lonnie didn't report any nightmares that he could tell, at least Jamie didn't wake screaming at any point. Justin was relieved that Jamie was getting some uninterrupted rest. He knew a good part of his problem was a lack of sleep.
Near the end, at the last break, Chris came with Justin to check on Jamie. "Poor kid, he's really zonked out. I didn't realize just how much this was taking out of him." Chris said sadly.
Justin nodded. "Ya, he hasn't been sleeping and with all the stress..." He cut off when Jamie stirred.
"Justin?" Chris made a motion with his hands and quietly slipped out of the room.
"Right here, sweet pea."
"Are you done?"
"Almost. Just one song left to tape. Have you heard any of it?"
"I think so. I could hear it in my sleep." Jamie shook his head to clear it. "I'm hungry."
"I'm not surprised. You hardly ate anything at lunch. I have to go back, but Lonnie is still here, ok?"
Jamie nodded as Justin rose. "Um, Justin?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I'm sorry about before..."
Justin squatted next to Jamie and kissed him lovingly. "You never have to be sorry. I love you and I'll be back before you know it."
"Thank you, I love you too." They kissed again and Justin left with a smile.
Jamie stood and stretched, looking around the room. Seeing nothing to occupy himself other than his guitar he looked at himself in one of the mirrors. 'God, I look awful!' he said to himself. Going through the door he looked up at Lonnie. "Hey there, big guy. How about we go find out if they have anything other than turkey?"
"I wouldn't count on it, but sounds like a plan to me," Lonnie replied.
They did find turkey and not much else of any interest on the food table. It seemed the NSync nutritionist had infiltrated here as well. On the sly, Lonnie suggested heading to the studio cafeteria which was next door and getting something a little more 'filling.' Jamie agreed.
They slowly walked around to the front of the studio and once through the double doors, found the cafeteria. Before they took two steps inside they were stopped by a group of five teenage girls.
"Oh, it's him," one of them said as she pointed to Jamie and Lonnie.
"Looks like you've been made, Lonnie," Jamie said with a smirk.
The girls approached and circled Jamie giving Lonnie happy grins and small waves. Lonnie laughed and stepped back. Then the questions started, rapid fire, one after the other with no time to answer any of them. "You're the guy that played with them this summer, right? How'd you meet them? What are they like when not onstage, really? Are Justin and Britney dating? Are any of them looking for girlfriends? Do you hang out with them? Where do they go when they go out so we can meet them? Can you get us backstage?"
On and on they asked and finally wound down. Jamie stood there a little shell shocked and wondered just how the guys handled this day in and day out. His admiration for their composure doubled. "Well..." he started, "lets see. Justin and Britney are just friends. Right now they are all attached, as far as I know. We hang out all the time and what you see in interviews is exactly how they are. They love their fans. And no I can't get you backstage."
They ate it up and a few moaned in disappointment that they didn't find an 'in' to get them a more private look. "So what are you doing here if you're not playing?" one girl asked innocently.
"I came in case they needed me," Jamie answered half-truthfully. "You know Kevin and his wife had a baby, so I'm here in case he has to leave."
They bought that answer then decided that it best they get back to the studio so they could get autographs at the end.
"Hold on a sec, girls," Jamie asked. "If you all write down your names and addresses I'll make sure the guys send you all something."
They squealed in delight and handed Jamie a slip of paper which he tucked into his wallet. As they left, one of the younger girls, probably a little sister, stopped and looked at Jamie with a smile.
"Could I get -your- autograph. It would be something that nobody else would have."
Jamie was startled and all at once flattered. "Sure, I'd be glad to."
"So have you let them know your decision yet?" Lance asked. He and Jamie were sitting on a bench near his 'pond.'
"I called Max yesterday and told him I needed the weekend. Brian left a message on my voice mail this morning that they'd up the offer before then."
Lance nodded. "So, can I ask if you've made a decision?"
"You certainly can ask but that doesn't mean I'll answer it," Jamie giggled.
"Everybody's a comedian," Lance sighed. "Seriously though, are you leaning one way or the other?"
"Seriously, I want to take it. Everything says I should."
"I hear a huge 'but' there."
Jamie nodded. "I know Justin supports whatever decision I make but I'll still be on tour with him in Orlando. I don't know if I want to do that."
Lance chuckled. "Listen, you and Justin are strong. You can live through that plus he'll be free enough to come and see you whenever he wants or you need him to, so that's not a problem. It just might do him some good to be on the other end for a change."
Jamie smiled. "It might just."
"Is there something else?"
"Well... the one big thing that's holding up my decision is that I'm hoping I'll have a wedding to plan. And don't forget your wedding in February."
"Don't you worry about my wedding. You're free that day as long as they don't change the schedule. So you're both still hoping that everything will fall into place and you can get married at the end of April?"
Jamie nodded. "Ya. My mom is doing alot of prep work right now making sure that we have a place and that caterer's are reserved and all that." Jamie sat staring out at the calm water.
"We can find out how that all stands on Wednesday when we're on the bus with Mel." Lance smiled at Jamie. "Come on, let's get back to the house before all the ice cream is gone."
Jamie looked around his old dorm room. Sighing in resignation he recognized this nightmare. Everything was as he remembered it. A faint white glow framed Justin's figure from the NSync poster on the wall. As Jamie concentrated on it he felt the love flowing from it. He smiled and glanced toward Rocky's desk. There was nobody sitting there.
"Jameson..."
Jamie turned at the familiar voice. "Nana?" Standing in the doorway was his grandmother. Jamie stumbled a step and flung himself into her arms. "I've missed you so much," he cried.
"I know, Sonny. I've been watching you. I'm very proud of you, boy."
Jamie let her go and wiped the few tears he had shed. "I'm so scared, Nana."
"Tush, child."
"This is only a dream..."
Nana nodded her head in agreement. "It is and you have to be strong now. You've come far..." she started fading.
"Nana, I love you," Jamie called as she slipped from view. He hung his head in sadness feeling the memory of his grandmother's love around him.
"How sweet. Come back to say you're sorry now?"
Jamie looked over at Rocky sitting at his desk. "You wish." Jamie sat on the bed, well away from Rocky and watched his every movement. "So what do you want now? Taunt or torture me some more?"
Rocky laughed. "I don't have to do that, you do it enough yourself." Rocky disappeared and his dream shifted.
He looked in the car to see Zack and Justin sitting with uneasy faces. 'What's this?' he asked himself.
Zack sighed heavily. "Well, I don't agree, but we'll be right there with you."
"I have to do this myself. You guys wait right here, this won't take very long." Jamie heard and felt himself saying the words and wanted to immediately take them back. 'What the hell am I doing?'
Justin looked very uneasy. "I don't feel right about this," he objected. There was a look of concern and something else in his eyes. Jamie now knew that it was the beginnings of his love for Jamie. Jamie wanted to grab him out of the car and hug and kiss him but knew it wouldn't make any difference to what had to come after.
'Ok, say for them to follow. It's that easy. Just say it.' "I need you to promise that you won't interfere." Seems he couldn't effect the dream much which meant if he couldn't break out of it then he was in for a real rough ride. After getting a reluctant agreement Jamie headed off to the dorm.
The minute he touched the outside door, his dream shifted again and he found himself outside the dorm room with his hand on the doorknob. Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open and saw Rocky sitting on the bed his head in his hands. He stepped quietly past the door shutting it. Rocky looked up at the sound of the door closing.
"You came back."
"I don't have any choice." Seems like he did have some control over his words. He wondered how much.
"I'm sorry I slapped you," Rocky apologized holding his arms out. Jamie hesitated knowing what accepting that invitation meant. He vowed to make a difference this time if he could. Sitting on Rocky's lap he held Rocky's hands in his.
Rocky tried to pull one hand free but Jamie resisted. Rocky was much stronger and Jamie knew it was only postponing the inevitable if he didn't do something quickly. He grabbed the hand Rocky had used to punch him and brought it up to his face.
"You'd never hurt me, Rocky? Would you?"
Rocky's eyes softened a bit then hardened with renewed determination. "I know what you're doing," he said cruelly. The hand left his cheek and latched onto a wrist, the other hand held him painfully by a shoulder. "I think we should have a little fun, you and me. What do you think?"
"Let me go, Rocky," Jamie said in growing alarm. Rocky's hand dug into his shoulder. "You're hurting me!" he wailed.
"Oh poor pampered baby. Does this hurt?" Rocky squeezed tighter making Jamie yelp.
Jamie's anger flared. He had mostly refused to acknowledge the anger he felt about what had happened and that denial had kept that anger like a hot coal deep inside. The defensive training that security had provided came from nowhere. "You can't fucking hurt me!" he screamed. With renewed determination Jamie drove the heel of his free hand into Rocky's face. The loud snap let him know he had broken Rocky's nose.
"You little bastard!" Rocky howled in pain as he brought his hands up to his face. Jamie used this time to stand and move away from him. "You'll pay for that. I think you broke my nose."
Rocky stood, blood seeping down his upper lip. Jamie backed up until he was crawling across the bed. "Please, Rocky. Don't do this. I know you don't want to do this," he pleaded as his back hit the wall.
Rocky stopped and looked at Jamie. A large grin spread across his face. "Oh, I think I'm gonna enjoy this alot." He started crawling across the bed reaching out for Jamie who cowered from him. "Come here, sweetheart." His voice curled around the endearment making it sound anything but comforting.
Jamie swatted at his hands has Rocky played with him. His terror started growing when he realized that nothing was going to stop this from happening. "Justin!" he yelled hoping for some relief.
Rocky stopped and made as if listening. "I guess he didn't hear you," he said with a shrug. He grabbed Jamie's wrists and pulled them over his head then captured both with one hand. "Time to have a little fun." With his free hand, Rocky started tearing away Jamie's shirt then worked on his pants.
Jamie squirmed and was rewarded by an elbow to the stomach. Catching his breath he leaned against Rocky who let his hands go. Rocky unfastened his pants and started pushing them down his hips. Jamie looked up at the 'NSync poster. Justin's figured glowed with a blinding light. It gave him the courage he needed.
"No!" Jamie protested. His anger flared again and he started hitting Rocky, his fists flying. "YOU... WILL... NOT... DO... THIS... TO... ME!" With each hit, Rocky fought back less and less a look of shock coming over his face.
"Jamie, please. Calm down," he pleaded, his voice sounding odd as he tried to stop Jamie from hitting him. Jamie's vision was blurred with tears as he felt arms wrap around him. He squirmed and hit at Rocky's arms, shoulders and chest. Soft grunts accompanied each hit.
"Sweat pea!" the voice called in concern. "Please snap out of it."
The tone and the endearment drained the anger out of Jamie and he opened his eyes to look up into Justin's. He looked around, still disoriented. He was in their bedroom, on the bed with Justin wrapped around him.
"Oh my God, it was a dream." Jamie slumped in Justin's embrace. "I was hitting you..." He pulled away from Justin and hugged a pillow to his chest a horrified look on his face.
"You were having the mother of all dreams and I tried to wake you up. When I tried to shake you, you started hitting back."
"I hit you..." Jamie was crying freely.
"You were dreaming, it's not your fault." Justin sat next to Jamie and put his arm around his shoulder. His free arm grabbed Jamie's legs and pulled him into his lap. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Jamie hiccupped then shivered. "I saw Nana. Then I started reliving it."
Justin rubbed his back as he cradled him. "I see you were fighting back."
"It was the same but I changed it," Jamie said looking up with wonder. "I had control. Justin, I -changed- it." He fell silent and leaned on Justin fully.
Justin quietly rocked Jamie in his arms until he fell back asleep. He moved them both up to lay down comfortably and Jamie snuggled onto his chest with a murmur. "I love you, sweet pea. You're almost there and I'm proud of you." Justin kissed his forehead and held him tightly.
Jamie shuffled downstairs, leaving Justin in bed. It had been a rough night and he should just stay and sleep, but he couldn't get his mind to shut itself off. His emotions were a raw tangle but he felt freer than he had in months. Jamie headed down to the office and figured he'd read his email and try to sleep later.
Fitzgerald was laying on the top of the pool table, stretched out fast asleep in the midmorning sun. Jamie shook his head with a smile and went into the office. Sitting at the desk he started up the computer then clicked on the email program. After deleting about half of the inbox because of junk mail he sat and read the few messages he had. The last one was from Zack and dated earlier that morning. He read the one paragraph message.
"Jamie, please call me as soon as you get this.
It's VERY important.
Zack"
With a shrug, he closed the email and picked up the phone. After a short wait, Zack answered. "Hey buddy. Just got your email, what's on your mind?"
"Jamie, thank God you called. Are you alone?"
Jamie wondered at the question. "No, Justin's still asleep upstairs. What's up?"
"Jamie, it's about Rocky." Jamie felt the color drain from his face and his stomach clenched. His silence prompted Zack to continue. "He's dying, Jamie. He's in Mass General and asking for you."
Justin partially woke. He was aware that Jamie was already up but not much more. He turned over and drifted back to sleep. A ringing phone woke him again. This time the feeling of something not quite right brought him fully awake. He snatched his cell of the night stand and flipped the on switch.
"Hello?" he asked groggily.
"Justin, where's Jamie? You've got to find him, he's not saying anything!"
"Zack? Is that you?"
"Yes, Justin. I was talking to Jamie on my cell and he just went dead on me. I got worried so decided to call your cell. Sorry to wake you like this."
Before Zack had even finished speaking Justin was out of bed and throwing on a pair of boxers. "Zack, I'm going to find him now. Let's hope he's still in the house. What's going on?"
"I guess I shouldn't have told him Justin. I'm so sorry."
"Told him what, Zack? Stop apologizing and tell me."
"Justin, Rocky is in the hospital. He's asking to see Jamie."
"So?"
"He's dying, Justin."
"Oh... Ok, Zack. Stay on the other line, I'll see what's going on with him."
"Ok, Justin, bye."
Justin checked the guest room and bath then headed downstairs. Before he tried outside, he went to the basement and heard a slight whimper from the office. He found Jamie sitting at the desk with the phone clutched in his hand. It frightened Justin a little. Jamie was staring at the wall and not moving.
He grabbed the phone out of Jamie's hand and put it to his ear. "Zack, you there?"
"I'm here."
"He's right here with me. I'll call you later."
"Tell him I'm sorry."
"He knows, Zack." Justin hung up the phone and knelt beside Jamie. With a finger, he pushed Jamie's bangs out of his eyes. "Your hair is getting long. Time for a cut."
Jamie's eyes focused and turned to Justin. "Oh, Justin," he cried and buried his head on Justin's shoulder. The emotional roller coaster of the last week was taking its toll on Jamie and he had very little left.
"It's ok, baby." Justin comforted him and stroked his back. "I guess it's time."
"I can't." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "If he's really dying then I need to do it now, I guess."
Justin nodded gravely. "It had to come sooner or later. I would have preferred later."
A small smile played at Jamie's lips then was gone. "Same here."
"I'll get tickets to Boston for the next available flight, ok?"
"You're coming, too?
"Was there any question?"
"I guess not. What about rehearsals and the tour?"
"We'll have to meet the guys in Charlotte on Tuesday. We don't need that last rehearsal, they'll understand."
Jamie lifted his head and nodded. "Why are you so good to me?"
Justin smiled and wiped at Jamie's tears with his thumb. "Because you're good to me and I love you."
tbc...
Note: Ok... so Rocky will finally be making an appearance (and a final one at that, it seems) So the question is: What kind of Rocky do you want? Here are the choices: Arrogant/selfish or cruel/mean (holding a grudge and blaming Jamie) or apologetic/repentant? Or something I haven't thought of. Write and tell me if you have any thoughts about this. So let me know!
There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com