Greetings everyone,
Not much to say today. I hope all of my fellow American readers had a great Thanksgiving. Don't ya just LOVE turkey. It's my all time favorite holiday food!
Let's see.... several thoughts. Saw the guys on TRL earlier in the week. Very cute, I must say. Joey shaved his head!! Hee hee. The Atlantis concert was very nice... HEY! Lance actually got to sing the melody!! Be still my heart! LOL
Um.. that's all :)
Thanks to everyone who's written. I appreciate it... I really do. So here's the latest chapter. What happens next? Read and find out!
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
You're Nobody 'Till Somebody Loves You
"You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
You're nobody 'til somebody cares
You may be king, you may possess
The world and all of its gold
But gold won't bring you happiness
When you're growing old
The world, it stays the same it never changes
As long as the stars shine above
You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
So find yourself somebody
Find yourself somebody
Find yourself somebody to love."
- Russ Morgan/Larry Stock/James Cavanaugh: 1944
Justin came through the door and looked around. Finding nobody, he glanced into the kitchen then ran up the stairs not bothering to turn on a light. He stopped in the bedroom doorway and leaned against the door jamb with a smile. 'I can't love him any more than I do right now,' he thought to himself. Shaking his head, he knew that was false, because Jamie would either say or do something and he'd feel his love grow even more.
Justin watched Jamie, sleeping on the bed. He was only wearing a pair of boxerbriefs and an open book lay on his chest where it rested after he dozed off. Fitzgerald was curled up beside him, leaning against one ankle. Justin felt a tightening in his pants at the sight.
With a smile, he undressed and carefully crept next to Jamie, trying not to wake him. Fitzgerald woke, though, and watched him with blinking eyes. "Hey, kitty," Justin said softly. Fitzgerald lay back down, purring.
Justin carefully took the book and put it on the night table. He was exhausted from a day of flying and a late three hour rehearsal alone with Wade to learn choreography so he wouldn't be so far behind the others. 'A small price to pay for a honeymoon,' he reminded himself, remembering the peaceful, romantic cruise. The glint of the light shining off of his ring drew his attention and he fingered his wedding band, the mate of the one on Jamie's hand
"Justin?" Jamie said sleepily as he rolled over and onto Justin.
Justin kissed his forehead and rubbed his back. "Yes, it's me, babe."
"What time is it? You must be tired." Jamie snuggled into Justin's side and kissed his neck.
"It's late that's all I know and I feel like I've been thrown around by a gorilla."
Jamie's hand rubbed up and down Justin's stomach in a comforting gesture. "Do you want to take a bath or something?"
"No," Justin held Jamie tighter. "I just want to hold you and get some sleep."
Jamie nodded and yawned. "That sounds nice. What time do you have to be back in the morning?"
"Not until lunchtime."
"Nice..." Jamie slurred, already slipping back to sleep. It didn't take long before Justin was snoring beside him.
"Are there any more?" Jamie asked wearily.
"Just a few," Justin replied organizing the envelopes and boxes sitting on the pool table. He hadn't realized just how many they had received until they started going through them.
Most of the actual presents were nice things to give to a couple: fancy picture frames for their wedding photos, various exotic kitchen implements in silver and the assortment of homemade things that relatives loved to give.
Jamie's favorite so far was a quilt that one of Justin's relatives had made. It was a nice mix of the things important to the both of them. Justin's favorite was the cross-stitch sampler from one of Jamie's aunts that had their names and their anniversary date on it in a nice oak frame.
The envelopes were divided into two piles. One was actual presents and the other donations or promises of donations to their favorite charities. So far they'd received many dinners in very fancy restaurants in New York and Los Angeles, weekend retreats at several different spas, and from the record label, the best gift of all, use of the company jet for one vacation anywhere they wished.
There were also a great many pledges to any charity they couple desired and the rest divided amongst Justin's Foundation, Challenge for the Children and the Matthew Shepard Foundation.
Jamie frowned as he opened one larger envelope. "What the heck is this?" he asked unfolding a long packet of papers. Justin sat next to him and read over his shoulder.
"Looks like a deed."
Jamie nodded. "It is." He read further then looked Justin with delighted shock.
"What?" Justin smiled.
"My family has deeded Nana's house to us."
"You mean that big mansion?"
Jamie shook his head back and forth. "No, not the mansion. She had a year-round house in Blue Hill, on the coast. It's a large cottage really with 4 bedrooms right on the water."
"And they gave it to you?"
Jamie nodded. "Um... no," he giggled. "They gave it to us." He smiled and kissed Justin lovingly. "We now own a lovely summer home on the coast of Maine."
"Does it have a beach?"
"Not much of one, more gravel than sand. That part of the coast is mostly rocks. It does have a boat dock and a small boat house."
"That's a great present. Did you spend much time there?"
"Every so often we'd spend a weekend here or there visiting her in the summer when we were kids. About five years ago she had it completely renovated and winterized so she could stay there year round."
Justin put his arm around Jamie's shoulders and kissed his temple. "So is that about it?"
Jamie nodded. "Except for spending the next two weeks writing thank you notes, ya."
"Then let's get ready to go. Lunch is in a half hour at the compound."
Jamie nodded. "What are we gonna do about all the uncommitted donations?"
"I've been thinking a little bit about that. It adds up to a nice chunk of money."
"The figure scares me a little. So much responsibility. What have you come up with?"
"How about the Jamie Campbell Foundation?" Jamie made a sour face. Justin laughed as they headed up stairs and out into the garage. "Ok, we can think of a better name. I was thinking of having us start a foundation that would help social service programs that deal with domestic violence... particularly among same-sex partners."
They got into the Roadster and closed the doors. Jamie looked over at Justin. "You're serious, aren't you?"
Justin nodded. "It's just an idea. I know it will mean having to explain it..."
Jamie cut him off with a fierce kiss that was heavy with tongue. "It's a great idea. Let's talk to Johnny about it this afternoon?" They sat and stared at each other lovingly for several minutes. Jamie reached up and caressed Justin's cheekbone with his fingertips. "You are so wonderful."
Justin smiled as the garage door opened. He didn't know how or exactly what Jamie did, but his love grew again.
Jamie was just a step behind Justin when they ran into the main lounge. "Let me see... let me see," Justin cried happily. They both skidded to a stop in front of Kelly who was holding a bundle surrounded by a soft pink blanket.
"Hey, the honeymooners are here," Joey called out from beside her. He grabbed Jamie and gave him a big hug.
"Hi there, big oaf," Jamie gasped as Joey squeezed him firmly.
Justin was peering past the blanket into a very pink, scrunched up face. "She's adorable," he admired.
Jamie joined him and touched one of the baby's hands. Her fingers curled around his pinky. "She's got her Dad's grip," he said in a soft voice.
"Hey, Brianna... we're two more of your uncles. We're the best ones, 'cause we get to spoil you the most," Justin boasted.
Kelly giggled. "Well, you'll have to wait in line. Our house is like Neiman Marcus and FAO Shwartz all combined." She cradled Brianna gently and turned her to face out a little. "Do you wanna hold her?"
"Me? You mean you trust... I mean... I can?" Justin squeaked. Kelly nodded as Joey grinned at Justin.
"That's a first. Justin Timberlake at a loss for words," Chris said as he, Lance and JC came into the room. Johnny and Mel were right behind them.
A sharp retort died on Justin's lips. "I'd cuss at you but not in front of the baby."
Chris and JC broke into laughter and Lance grinned. "Not like she'd understand you anyway," Lance said going over and giving Jamie a warm hug. "Did you have a good trip?"
"It was the best," Jamie answered. "I can't wait to tell you all about it. We took so many pictures..." his voice faded as they crossed the room and sat together on the couch.
Justin watched then turned his attention back to Kelly. "Can I?" Kelly nodded and Joey grabbed Justin's arms to show him the best way. "Geez, Joe. I know how to hold a baby. I do have two younger brothers, you know?" Justin smiled at Joey.
Joey chuckled. "Sorry, just a habit."
Kelly handed Brianna over to Justin who took her skillfully. She fussed just slightly at the transfer then looked up at Justin with wide brown eyes. "Hi there, Bri. I'm your uncle, Justin. You are going to grow up and be a beautiful woman and break all the guy's hearts, I can tell. But until that time, if a boy bothers you then you just come to me and I'll take care of him, ok?" Brianna gurgled a little and smiled.
Jamie watched Justin from across the room while talking with Lance and telling him stories of their trip. As Justin took Brianna in his arms, Jamie's heart clenched at just how natural he looked. Justin was talking to the baby and Jamie saw how his eyes lit up.
Lance nudged his shoulder. "Hey, you still here?"
Jamie shook his head and smiled. "Ya, sorry."
"He looks like a natural."
"He does," Jamie agreed. Jamie sighed deeply and leaned against Lance's shoulder.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't ever give him that. He wants a family, to be a father, so much."
"Who says you can't. There's adoption, it's done all the time."
Jamie sighed again. "I looked into it. Florida has a statute that prohibits same sex couples from adopting."
Lance thought for a minute. "So who said you have to live here? You still have a New York ID. It won't be that hard to switch -his- main residence there now that you have the town house."
Jamie looked at Lance with a big smile. "You're so smart."
Lance stood and pulled Jamie with him. "Come on, let's see how Brianna likes being in -your- arms."
After a few minutes of cooing at the baby and getting the major details about the honeymoon, Johnny called them all to order. "Ok, let's get this started. From this minute on we're in full tour mode."
Jamie slumped into a chair and sighed.
"What's up with you?" Paul asked from his place on the couch.
Jamie grinned. "Just tired. Painting isn't as easy as it looks and I want to get it done and the furniture in the rooms before we leave for tour."
"I said I'd help."
"I know, but what you're doing is just as important."
Paul cocked his head at Jamie. "You look really strung out. You sleeping alright?"
Jamie blushed. "What little I get, ya."
Paul chuckled. "Something keeping you awake?" he asked slyly.
"Um... ya..." Jamie stammered. "Ok, boy talk here." Paul nodded. "Ever since the wedding he's been like... insatiable or something."
"Well, he loves you, that's not hard to understand."
Jamie shook his head. "Ya, I know that. We've never had a problem with... well, you know."
"Got you so far."
"When we were on the boat he just couldn't get enough, neither could I, and I figured it was because it was the honeymoon and it was really romantic on board and all..."
"Ya..." Paul agreed slipping into his own memories of the trip.
Jamie snickered at Paul and threw a pillow at him. "I thought once we got home things would go back to more or less normal."
"And it hasn't?"
Jamie shook his head with a slightly distracted smile. "No... it's worse." He thought for a second then noticed Paul's puzzled expression. "Ok, that's not a great word. It's pretty damn good!" His blush renewed. "He can't keep it in his pants and it's like he's on constant Viagara or something!"
Paul laughed long and hard. "I can think of worse problems."
"Ya, I guess I'm just lucky." Jamie smiled to himself. "Paul...?" he asked after thinking for a minute.
"Yes, you can ask and the answer is one day at a time."
Jamie grinned. "How'd you know what I was gonna ask?"
"Let's just say, I have a good idea how your mind works. Do you want to know more?"
"That's all you have to say. It's none of my business, really."
"I know Zack is a close friend to you and he wouldn't mind us talking about it. We've decided to see where things go and just take it a day at a time."
"I didn't think you'd go for that."
Paul shrugged. "I didn't think so either, but I wasn't against the whole idea either. He's so cute he doesn't make it easy to say no." It was Paul's turn to blush.
The phone rang, interrupting them. Paul was sitting beside it so picked it up. "Hello?"
He paused looking at Jamie strangely. "Who is this?"
His tone made something in Jamie scream 'alarm' and he sat up rigidly. "Paul?"
"Hello? Hello!!?" Paul sighed and hung up the phone.
"Paul, who was it?"
Paul sat in silence for a minute, deep in thought. "I really have no idea. All he kept asking was to talk to the kid and that he wanted help. Whoever it was he sounded very drunk."
Jamie exhaled in relief. Not a prank call or even a threatening or harassing one. Just a drunken wrong number. "That's a relief. Try to *69 it."
Paul punched the numbers but gave up after a second. "No good. Not traceable, probably a cell." Jamie nodded. "Got any of those rooms finished yet?"
Jamie grinned at his bodyguard and friend. "Two of them should be dry by now."
"Ok, let's move some furniture."
"Moments ago, NSync were behaving like the professionals they are. Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez, and Joey Fatone patiently posed for shot after shot on a Universal Studios soundstage in Orlando at what must be their zillionth photo shoot since the band formed in 1995. But someone discovers a bag of paddle balls - those plywood party favors with strings (and rubber balls) attached. Watch out! The guys' concentration crumbles, and they're transformed into rowdy kids. A crazed Kirkpatrick smacks Fatone's butt so hard with one of the paddles, it actually cracks in two. Then Kirkpatrick starts whacking himself on the head like a masochistic karate master. 'Do I have a red spot now?' he asks. Well, duh."
"Who said they could print this stuff?" Chris asked crossly. "I'm coming across as a complete idiot!"
"That's cause you are... keep reading," Lance chided with a wide smile. Justin grinned from beside him.
"Timberlake grabs this reporter's recorder and begins a play-by-play from the sidelines. 'Everyone is playing paddleball. JC is particularly good, Joey sucks and Lance is mediocre. I, on the other hand, am the most mature of the group, so I'm going to stand here and say everything I think about the guys on this recorder. Chris - short; Lance - loveable idiot; Joey - big idiot; JC - really good at paddleball. Uh, gotta go! Joey is chasing me with the paddleball.'"
"You didn't actually say that did you?" Lance asked Justin with raised eyebrows.
"Um... well... I was just trying to be funny... you know..."
"Sure, J... sure," JC said sitting next to Lance. "Continue, Chris," he ordered.
"As you undoubtedly know, NSync is the biggest band in the universe. They sold a record breaking 2.4 million copies of their last CD in one week, and are currently on a massive stadium tour to promote their upcoming album, due out July 24th. So if our photographer has to wait a bit for Kirkpatrick's forehead to return to a normal shade, he will. These guys are superstars. Not that you'd know it from hanging out with them. In spite of their pop preeminence, the guys of NSync are amazingly down to earth. They show up for the shoot on time. (No stretch limos: Timberlake and Kirkpatrick arrive on flashy motorcycles.) At lunch, they eat burgers and sandwiches from a food truck and are disarmingly warm to everyone around them - even the reporter, whose job it is to dig into their private lives."
"How is it there's no ego tripping, spotlight hogging, creative conflicts, or scuttlebutt about solo albums? 'We're brothers,' says Timberlake. 'I wouldn't change the friendship I have with them for anything in the world. We like to pick on one another, but it's all in good fun. There's still a level of respect that we have for one another.'"
"That was nice, Justin," Chris said interrupting himself.
Joey smiled at Justin and patted his cheek. "You did good. Makes up for the other stuff."
"Throughout their ups and downs, the guys have always been willing to poke fun at themselves. Remember the skit as 7 Degrees Celsius on SNL? The new album's title track is in keeping with the same self-deprecating spirit. On the twitchy 'Celebrity,' the guys ask whoever's listening, 'Would you be so into me if I wasn't a celebrity?'"
"More vexing are the rumors that come with star status. Timberlake tends to catch the most flak - just cutting his curls made headlines! And this past December, the sultry-voiced singer was slapped with a lawsuit by the mother of a fan."
"Please, just skip that part, ok. I asked them to ignore it and still they put that in there!" Nobody commented on Justin's words and Chris scanned ahead.
"Another subject Timberlake would prefer to steer clear of is his relationship with Jamie Campbell, who is now Campbell-Timberlake. 'What are you talking about?' he asks, feigning ignorance when first asked about him. He then offers a diplomatic response. "It good because he's so understanding about my schedule and demands on me because he's playing in our band," he says. 'Going public with our relationship was a difficult choice.' Chasez, who's also in the room, starts jumping up and down behind Timberlake. It's not the most subtle way of distracting a nosy journalist, but it's touching to see him helping his buddy out of a tight spot."
"Real cute and oh so subtle, Josh," Joey kidded.
Justin smiled at JC and patted his knee. "Appreciate it, buddy."
JC nodded. "The questions were getting a little heavy there for that kind of interview."
"The others are just a tight-lipped about their relationship status. Even the self-proclaimed fun lover Fatone. When asked about his love life, he proclaims, 'I'm single and ready to mingle, baby.' (This elicits a big 'EWWW! That's cheesy,' from Chasez.) But then Fatone backpedals a bit, saying, 'I'm kind of dating somebody, and I have been for a while.' It's understandable that he's a little cagey. Gossip columnists have erroneously linked him to several celebrities, including WWF star Chyna and actress Minnie Driver. 'My girlfriend knows not to take the gossip seriously,' he says. Hey, did he say girlfriend?"
"The dishing comes to an abrupt halt when the entire band runs outside the soundstage. What's going on? Fire? Hurricane alert? Obviously, we're curious and follow suit. 'Uncle Justin is here! Uncle Justin's here!' Timberlake yells. What? As it turns out, the guys are all ogling a beautiful baby girl - and it's Fatone's! He and Kelly Baldwin reportedly became the proud parents of Brianna in late April. Mother and daughter are in the company of none other than Jamie Timberlake who is weighed down with a large baby bag which Joey takes from him with a grunt. Justin greets Jamie warmly with a kiss on the lips and arm around the waist as they shower the baby with funny faces and silly noises."
"It was so nice to see them that day," Justin said, sighing.
"Yup, sure was," Joey agreed.
"Ok you two, stop it!" Lance laughed. "Justin, you know Jamie will get here with the band on Sunday. Joe, I know you're missing them but you've got the busy flight schedule of all of us and Kelly and Bri will be with us a good part of the summer." Joey and Justin both nodded.
"As thrilled as the guys are about being uncles, a husband, in-laws, etc., what they really want to talk about is music. You'll have the new disc any day now, so we'll skip the flowery adjectives. Let's just say if any doubt remains as to whether these guys are the real deal, Celebrity will erase it. The band wrote the bulk of the..."
"Blah... blah... blah..." Chris said throwing the mock-up on the table. "You can read the rest if you want. Although Jayce had a nice quote at the end."
"What did you say, Josh?" Lance asked curiously.
JC picked up the sheet and scanned the end of the article then nodded as he began to read. "'I don't think about what I've done,' says Chasez, who along with Timberlake shares the most songwriting credits. 'I'm proud of Justin - he's probably done the best stuff on the record.'"
Justin looked at JC with wide eyes. "You really meant that, didn't you?"
"Of course," JC smiled, getting a little self-conscious.
Justin hugged JC tightly for a long minute then pulled away with wet eyes. "Thanks."
The sun set over New Orleans as a group of men crowded into a large van. The early summer heat sucking the last little bit of energy anyone had.
"Who's for the clubs?"
There were groans from all over. "Chris, don't you ever get tired?" JC asked from his position leaning onto Lance's shoulder.
Lance nodded beside him, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced in the dim light. "You'd think, as the oldest, you'd be the most tired."
"Nah," Chris said, "I had a Snickers and I'm ready to go!"
"Oh God," Justin moaned. "I knew we should've hid the sugar."
"Chris, I think you should take a shower and then rethink the going out thing. We've got a real early call tomorrow."
Chris looked at Joey, surprised. "Ok, who are you and what have you done with our fun loving Italian?"
Everyone chuckled and Joey swatted Chris playfully. "He's right here under layers of sweat and painful muscles. Lance, what's the schedule?"
"Full day tomorrow with a late flight into LA. Two days in LA filming the video then back here for the last week. I talked to Johnny today and we lost another 2 dates at the beginning because of scheduling and other things, so we've gained a little elbow room."
"That's good," Justin replied, a towel over his face. "I never thought I'd be so happy for a cancellation."
Lance nodded. "It's certainly helped, that's for sure. Justin are you still going home for the weekend after LA?"
Justin sat up and removed the towel. "I'd like to, if it's still ok? I'll fly to Orlando Saturday afternoon and we'll both come back to New Orleans Sunday night."
"Sounds great. Did you remember to reserve the jet time?"
Justin nodded. "Yup, it will be nice not to deal with the regular airport shit. This is a great deal, Lance."
JC smiled from beside Lance. "He's a smart one." He giggled and kissed Lance's neck.
"Hey, I just read the newspaper regularly," Lance laughed. "Plus Janet told me about it when I talked to her at the wedding."
"So, we just pay for a block of time?" Chris asked.
Lance nodded. "Ya, we estimate how much flying time we'll need and pay for it in advance then submit a request on what we need a couple of weeks ahead and the jets are there waiting for us."
"What a great idea for a business," Joey commented. "Time sharing jets."
Justin smiled. "It's a little more expensive than regular airlines but no lines and it's alot cheaper than owning your own."
"And this way we can go different directions at the same time as long as the planes are available."
The van stopped and the guys got out and quickly walked into the hotel. It was late and no fans were waiting by the side entrance they used.
Justin rubbed his eyes. "I must be more tired than I thought," he said
"Why?" Joey asked scanned the small crowd in the lobby.
"The guy over there at the front desk looks just like Jamie."
"And an exact Kelly clone right next to her carrying a baby," Chris said giggling.
"Don't forget my look-a-like," Dani said from Chris' shoulder. Chris jumped a little then smiled broadly. "Surprise."
Lance smiled as Justin pushed through the crowd and pulled Jamie to him. Not caring or even showing the slightest hint of modesty he gently grabbed Jamie's face and kissed him.
The front desk clerk smiled at them with a blush and handed Kelly the key cards. "Excuse them," she said with a grin. "They just got married and haven't seen each other in a week."
With an understanding nod the clerk turned to help the next person waiting. Business went on normally around Justin and Jamie as they held each other close and talked quietly between soft kisses. They would've stayed there for hours but Lance nudged them and everyone went up to the suite.
"Holy shit! JOE!!!" Justin yelled.
Everything came to a dead stop, except for the music. JC made a cut gesture with his hand and it cut off abruptly. There were yells from around the stage but the only sound that intruded on everyone's senses were Joey's moans of pain.
Jamie and Kelly ran on the stage. Kelly went directly to Joey and Jamie to Justin.
"Are you ok?" Jamie asked. He was white as a sheet and breathing heavy and irregular.
"I'm fine... take your medicine. I don't like your color," Justin said placing an arm around Jamie's shoulders. Jamie took a couple of breaths from the inhaler and he immediately got better.
"Kelly and I saw it from the booth and we ran all the way down here."
Justin nodded as they joined the others in a loose circle around Joey. His leg was trapped against the stage and a trap door and the techs were trying to see if they could open the door without hurting Joey further.
"Dammit, just move the door," Joey shouted. "You're gonna have to so I can move, just do it!"
The tour medic, Tom, came running on stage and knelt down by Joey. "Hurt alot?" he asked with a wink.
"Oh, no..." Joey said. "It's the most pleasant experience I've had today."
"Let me just feel to make sure moving the door doesn't do more damage, ok?"
Joey nodded and bit his lip as Tom slid his hand down Joey's leg and under the wood. Joey winced twice. "What's the verdict?"
"Doesn't seem like anything's broken." There was a chorus of exhaled relief from around them. At Tom's direction, the techs pushed the door back down and released Joey's leg. For the most part, Joey took it well and only gasped once when they pulled his leg out of the hole.
"The ambulance is outside," Dani said rushing across the stage to join Chris.
"Someone get the van!" Chris yelled.
"No!" Joey said firmly as Tom wrapped his bleeding leg. "You guys rehearse. I'll be back soon. It's ok."
"No way, Joe. We can't..." Lance started.
Joey looked at him firmly. "Don't make me feel any worse than I already do. The best thing you can do for me is stay here and finish this. If I'm still there when you get done then you can come."
"But Joey..." Justin said sadly, his face a big frown.
They watched as Joey was lifted onto a stretcher. Kelly grabbed his bag and waited beside him. "I think it looks worse than it really is," Tom said trying to ease everyone's fears.
"Jamie, could you...?" Justin asked.
Jamie nodded. "I'll call you when we know anything." He kissed Justin quickly and followed the ambulance crew and sat next to Kelly on the bench seat in the corner. Tom waved at them before he shut the door.
"Ya and so Joey was laid up for a day or two and Wade had to 'be' Joey for the video."
"So what's the verdict?" Zack asked.
"A piece of metal from the door punctured his calf but didn't do much damage. Just enough that he's gonna be sore for awhile but he should be dancing again in a day or two."
"How are the guys taking it?"
"Man, I thought they were gonna melt down. They've been a mess about it. I don't blame them really."
"I hear ya. So where's fuzzy-wuzzy?"
"He's still asleep. Yesterday was long, they had to go back for a few hours to finish some stuff for the video and the flight took forever, it seemed."
"The video cool?"
"If even just half of what the director was talking about comes through it will be. The set was incredible."
"Ok, well, I gotta run, have to get to rehearsal. I'll talk to you next weekend."
"You bet, buddy."
"Tell Paul to call me at the usual time."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
Jamie hung up the phone and turned to get some juice out of the refrigerator when the doorbell rang. He almost ran to the door, not wanting the bell to wake Justin. He opened the door and stood face to face with AJ McLean.
"Um... AJ...," he said confused. "Come on in."
"I don't want to intrude or anything. It's ok?"
"Sure, I was just going to get some juice or something." Jamie led him through the living room and into the kitchen.
"Nice pad."
"Thanks. It's home but nowhere near as fancy as yours. I saw the Cribs on MTV."
AJ chuckled. "I like it."
"What can I get you?"
"You have any coffee?"
Jamie nodded. "Sure, it will be a minute." He got the grounds and water and set up the maker. "I thought you guys were already out on your summer leg?"
"We don't start until the end of the month. We're rehearsing right now and changing some things."
Jamie sat at the counter across from AJ who was leaning against the dining room table. With one glance, he took in the whole person. AJ's jeans were a little stained, meaning he'd been wearing them for awhile without a washing. His cotton shirt was rumpled and creased. His face was covered in a heavy layer of stubble and his ever present sunglasses hid his eyes.
"So what brought you here today, AJ?"
AJ cleared his throat and looked around. "Is the coffee ready?"
Jamie peered at the machine and found it had finished. He poured AJ a cup and handed it to him. "Black, right?"
AJ nodded. "That's fine." He took a sip and a deep breath that he held a minute and let out. "Remember when we talked a couple of months ago?" Jamie nodded. "It's gotten worse."
"Worse? What's gotten worse?"
Taking a long drink of the coffee, AJ sat on a stool. "I guess I thought I said more than I did."
"You really didn't say much." Jamie really looked at AJ. He reached over and grasped one of AJ's hands. "I'm here, Alexander. Please let it out."
AJ gripped Jamie's hand tightly and took off his sunglasses. His dark eyes bored into Jamie, the whites were heavily bloodshot and the circles dark and pronounced. "Please, call me Alex." With a big sigh he continued, "I don't know who I am anymore."
"I've heard that before," Jamie said softly.
AJ looked up at him. "I'm not surprised. This business tends to eat people."
"What happened, Alex?"
"Nothing and everything. During the best of times it's a tough life and lately my life is a mess. My father suddenly appears, my grandmother dies and now Amanda leaves me."
"So it's really over? I'm sorry, buddy."
AJ nodded. "So with all that and seeing how happy Brian and Kevin are... and I just can't seem to remember how to be happy by myself. So I go out to bars and clubs and dance and drink, play around with chicks... sometimes with guys when I know they'll be discreet." AJ drank some more coffee. "And now it's months later and I still don't know really who I am."
"Have you talked to your mother? I know you're both very close."
"Not really... a little, I guess." AJ rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "There are times when I'm dancing in some club and the booze is flowing and I feel like life is great."
"Then?"
AJ nodded. "Then the next morning I get up for an interview or rehearsal or appearance and it hasn't changed. Not one bit."
"Are you seeing someone?"
"A shrink!? Are you crazy?" AJ pulled his hand away from Jamie and crossed his arms. "That bastard Perlman suggested that we all meet with one every so often and that I should regularly. I'm not sick!"
Jamie sat quietly, letting AJ's tirade wash over them both. He let the silence grow before speaking. "You don't have to be sick, at least not the way we think of it. I see one quite often and so do Justin and the guys," he said very quietly.
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up at you. You're only trying to help." He continued sipping the coffee.
"Jamie? Where are you?" Justin's voice filtered to the kitchen and a minute later he came stumbling in.
Jamie smiled seeing him swaying, half asleep, his eyes half shut. 'He's so cute this way,' Jamie thought. His smile slipped to shock when he saw that Justin had only thrown on a pair of boxer briefs before coming downstairs. They were obscenely tight and Jamie realized that they must be his.
"Um, sweetie. We have company." Jamie said and going to Justin. "Why don't you go back upstairs and get some more sleep. I'll be up soon."
Jamie looked at AJ with bleary eyes. "I must be dreaming because I see a Backstreet Boy in our kitchen. Is this a nice dream?"
Jamie turned him and smiled at AJ. "It's a great dream." He kissed Justin's shoulder and sent him back up the stairs. He rejoined AJ. "Sorry about that." He looked and saw wry amusement on AJ's face.
"Well, I can see that little Justin Timberlake has certainly grown up since the Mouse Club. You're a very lucky man there, Jamie."
Jamie blushed. "Um, thanks, I guess."
"Aw, don't be embarrassed, just us boys here. He's got a great body and um... other things. The boy is hung well!" AJ snickered and Jamie saw a glimpse of the real person inside.
"AJ?"
"Ya?"
"How did you feel just now? What were you thinking... other than of sex with Justin?" Jamie smiled.
"Sorry, mostly that," AJ laughed.
"The real you is still in there, I saw it. It wants to come out. You have to let Alex out and forget the AJ that goes on stage sometimes."
AJ nodded and stood. "I guess I should go. We have a meeting soon anyway."
Jamie showed him to the front door. "Alex, try to remember and call me on my cell if you need to, ok?" "I'll try... I just have trouble with all the stress."
"Rely on the other guys. That's what they're there for. If they know you're having troubles, they'll help."
AJ nodded and gave Jamie a big hug. "Have fun on tour with the Stink."
"And you with the Backdoors," Jamie laughed.
"That might be more fun!" AJ chuckled. "You take care, kid," he said as he got into his car and drove off.
Jamie stood in the door, open-mouthed. 'He called me kid.' He suddenly got a chill and felt very sad.
June 17, 2001
The tour is going great.. almost a month down and 2 more to go. We are in the middle of the Chicago shows and the guys are pumped. Audience reaction to the new songs is great so far. It's weird because they just stand there and listen and scream a little. Usually they sing along but these are songs they haven't heard before so they don't know any of the words.
I love Justin so much. Everyday he takes the time to make sure that if I need anything he'll get it for me. Even with his busy schedule, and this summer is just as bad as last, he makes sure that he's not neglecting me.
I thought that once tour started he'd calm down a little but I was wrong. It's so embarrassing to say but the boy is a sex machine. He can do it anytime, anywhere and has a perpetual hard on. And it seems it doesn't matter where we are, he finds some privacy for us. If Chris cracks one more joke about it, I'm gonna smack him. The thing is, I sit and just wait for him. I haven't turned him down once... not even thought of it as an option.
The most outrageous one was the other day. I went with them to an interview and for some reason we took two limos. Justin managed to get one for them and one for just the two of us. They all knew why. Paul sat up front with the driver and we did it while driving across town. We barely finished before we got to where we were going. Paul told me he made the drive circle the building twice until Justin gave him the all clear.
How embarrassing!!! Hee hee... I love it.
Everybody is well and doing ok. Joey's leg bothers him sometimes but he's dealing with it. It gets stiff on him easier than it used to. The change in Josh is remarkable. He's open and very attentive to everyone, especially Lance. They came back from lunch with Josh's parents the other day practically beaming. We're all still waiting for them to tell us what happened. I give it until tonight before one of the others makes them talk.
Let's see... other than that nothing new to report.
Leslie said I should write about the people close to me even if it's just a word. So here goes:
Mom... comfort Dan... big brother Phil... loveable nuisance Wade... he makes Phil happy and keeps him in control, how could I not love him! Zack... someone I can't think of not being a friend Chris... absolutely crazy Joey... big teddy bear... even more now that he's a father Josh... Mr. intense... the man is amazing Lance... there's no way this guy is in the entertainment business... love him to death Justin... LOVE everything about him... more and more every day.
Anyway... Who knows when I'll have the time to write in this again. It gets worse before it gets better but what's new there! hee hee
Baby, I know you still read this sometimes. Love you with all my heart and I'm yours, and although I might say differently sometimes, you can make love to me whenever you want. Because just as much as you want me, I want you. Love you much. Your Pinky.
Over and out.
tbc...
There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
Notes: Interview paraphrased from the actual article that appeared in July 2001's Seventeen magazine.
Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com AIM: bangoremail http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bangoremail1