Greetings everyone,
I hope everyone had a great, fun and safe New Years! I caught the new video... Hey, cute guys dancing on cars! 'Nuff said!
Before everyone writes to tell me how long it's been since the last chapter... I know. After the last Lance chapter was posted (that was a little late too) I took a little time and add the holidays to that... well... Now two months have past. I'm sure you're all wondering if I'd fallen into a black hole or something... nope.
So, to make all of you happy... a super-sized chapter. I guess it's a little on the long side.. but hey.. I needed to do some major loose thread mending here. If you feel like I've left something important in the story unfinished, let me know.
And now so that there's no misunderstanding: This is the last -formal- chapter of Jamie's Romance. There will be a few 'post story' chapters then an epilogue which won't be posted to any set schedule. I want to devote my time to Lance's Story now because I think it deserves it. (and that was the plan all along anyway (::wink::) I've gotten some great suggestions about future installments and looking into their lives after the story. If there's something you'd like to see then send me a mail. I'm always open to ideas!
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
Ever After
"Journey over, all is mended
And it's not just for today
But tomorrow and extended
Ever after
All the curses have been ended
The reverses wiped away
All is tenderness and laughter
For forever after
To be happy and forever
You must see your wish come true
Don't be careful, don't be clever
When you see your wish, pursue.
Not a sigh and not a sorrow,
Tenderness and laughter
Joy today and bliss tomorrow
And forever after!"
- Stephen Sondheim/James Lupine: 1987
"Will you just come on. We're gonna be late!"
"Just a minute, Scoop," Justin called from the door. A moment later he breezed into the hallway, giving Jamie a quick kiss.
"Let's go!" Joey called good-naturedly.
They headed down the hall picking up JC on the way. Once on the elevator the usual small talk and kidding started as the pre-show energy infected the guys. Justin joined in and kept one hand on the small of Jamie's back, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth as they leaned on each other.
"Are you sure you're ready to tell?" Justin quietly asked into Jamie's ear.
Jamie turned his head to quickly kiss Justin on the lips. "Yes. The gossip papers are being very cruel and now the mainstream is started to ask questions. I guess they think where there's smoke there's fire and they're not wrong this time."
Justin hugged Jamie tightly. "We'll all be there." Much to the surprise of everyone outside their group, Justin didn't back down after his coming out and wedding. Instead he brought Jamie to parties and appearances, as he thought was appropriate and if Jamie was willing. Footage from the wedding and reception, carefully edited by Steve, was shown on MTV and some network news shows. The last thing Justin wanted was to hide Jamie like a dirty secret. He was proud of his husband and wanted to show him off plus he refused to hide as well, constantly quoting 'silence equals death' to their publicity team.
Jamie silently nodded. As a result of the exposure, more and more questions about his past had started to surface. Just enough information had leaked to start the rumor mill and speculation. When they finally got a call from Brian McFayden warning them that Carson was discretely snooping and Kurt Loder was going to be coming to them sometime over the summer for answers they knew they needed to do something.
It was Mel who presented the perfect solution. She had been putting off Barbara Walters since before the Grammy awards to have the guys be the subject of one of her specials. Combined with the release of Celebrity, Jamie's story would make a perfect special and she trusted Barbara and her people to handle Jamie's situation tastefully and sympathetically. MTV was pacified with first live interview rights.
"All aboard!" Lance called as they walked from the lobby, into the garage and up to a large SUV. Jamie was glad to be spared the 'fan walk' as he called it. Most of the times the fans were very respectful when he and Justin would leave or enter a hotel. But sometimes a few of them would say very unflattering things and that bothered him.
They had arrived at the stadium for the morning rehearsal, in good moods and on time. Jamie and Justin walked to the stage holding hands and laughing at Chris and Joey, who were pretending they were monkeys. Just as they got to the stage entrance, Jamie's cell phone rang.
"Hello!" he answered cheerfully as Justin kissed him on the cheek and headed toward Wade. Jamie continued over to the band.
"Hey kid, it's me."
"Alex?" Jamie asked sensing something wasn't right. "What's wrong?" Justin didn't hear the words but caught the tone in Jamie's voice from the distance and quickly walked over to him, the others tagging behind.
"I can't do it anymore," AJ sniffled. "Oh, God..."
Jamie stood dumfounded at the sound of AJ sobbing. "Hello!? Alex, answer me!"
"Who's Alex?" Joey asked.
"It must be AJ," Justin surmised while Jamie tried to get an answer.
"Alex, answer me right now!" Jamie yelled into the phone.
A voice suddenly came over the phone. "Jamie, it's Kevin," he said softly in his distinct southern drawl. "I'm sorry about this but he insisted on calling you."
Jamie sighed in relief. "I'm glad he's not alone. What's going on, Kevin?"
Kevin sounded old and tired. "We've had a tough couple of days here in Boston. AJ can't go on the way he has."
"I heard that Nick hurt his hand. Add that to Alex and I can understand..."
"There's something you should know," Kevin interrupted. "It's only between us and you and the other guys. We trust y'all to keep this to yourselves. Alex pushed Nick the other day and that's how he broke his hand."
"Oh, God..." Jamie moaned. Justin wrapped his arms around him and kissed his temple.
There was a scuffle and Alex came back over the phone. "I'm sorry about that but I'm pretty emotional right now. I didn't mean it... you have to believe me."
"I know, Alex. You love Nick like a brother. You didn't mean to hurt him." There was a gasp and an uncomfortable shuffling of feet.
"I feel so bad and last night after the show...." AJ took a deep breath. "Kevin held me like a baby all night while I cried. I need to get help, Jamie. That's what I told the guys this morning. I need help. They've been so good about it all, trying to work with me and getting me help around our schedule but it's not working. I need to concentrate on me."
"I understand, buddy. So what are you going to do?"
"Howie has booked me into a rehab. I leave in a couple of hours. I'll be gone for about a month."
"I'm sorry it came to this, Alex, but I'm glad you're getting help. I'm proud of you for that."
AJ chuckled. "That's exactly what Rok said this morning. Thanks, Jamie. Will you come visit if they let you?"
"You bet. You have the guys call me and let me know the details, ok?"
"Ok," AJ started weeping again. "I have to go, Brian wants to talk with you."
"Fine, Alex. You get better and don't worry about anything but you."
Brian came on a second later. "Hey. Thanks for being so supportive."
"Just returning the favor. So what are you going to do about the tour?"
"We're gonna postpone all the July dates and reschedule them in September. There'll be an announcement tomorrow."
"So how's everyone else doing?"
"Kevin is Kevin, this brought the father streak right out of him. Howie is just great and Nick..." Brian sighed. "Nick is a mess right now but he'll be ok. He's a tough kid."
"And you?"
Brian chuckled sadly. "Me? I'm praying and crying. Both in good doses." There was a pause and Brian came back. "Listen, we've got to go. Have Lance give me a call in a couple of days and we'll give you all the info."
"You bet. Take care of yourself and the others too, Brian. Tell AJ that we all love him and he's in our best wishes."
Jamie hung up and relayed the entire conversation. The rehearsal started just three minutes late, a very subdued NSync dutifully hitting their marks.
Jamie watched Justin from his place near the drums, his thoughts on his relationship, on AJ, on his life, on his future. Now more than ever the interview seemed the right thing to do.
Justin walked out of the bathroom, wiping the last of the water from his back. He threw the towel into the bathroom and stretched. It felt good to be clean again. Summer's were hard enough but being in the desert heat of Phoenix made it worse.
He looked over at Jamie on the bed. The hint of concern he had while he was gone finally disappeared when he saw that Jamie was fine. Justin didn't want to go out, but Jive had set up a post concert party that was more command appearance than fun. Jamie wasn't feeling well, the dry, dusty air had triggered his asthma slightly, so he went back to the hotel to rest. Justin reluctantly went to the party without him.
The sheet covered Jamie from the waist down as he slept on his stomach. The skin of his back made Justin's mouth water and he could tell that he was naked under the covering. Justin looked down at his already hard member which always seemed to be that way when he was around Jamie.
'Luckiest man alive,' he thought to himself as he lightly stroked himself while watching his husband. Slowly he pulled on the sheet so that it moved down Jamie's legs. "Beautiful," he whispered to himself. With careful ease he crawled onto the bed, crouched over the sleeping form of his lover. He felt the desire bloom in him as he leaned down and kissed the back of Jamie's neck.
"Mmmmm," Jamie murmured, slowly coming awake.
Justin smiled and started licking down Jamie's spine as Jamie started moving under him. He reached the small of his back and continued down to his butt.
"Oh Justin..." Jamie sighed as he spread his legs and stretched out on the mattress.
Justin moaned. Jamie's eagerness and complete willingness to share himself physically always turned Justin on. "You taste so good, baby." Spreading Jamie's cheeks, he kissed down to the opening and licked around it. Jamie groaned above him in approval. Justin would never have believed that he would ever do something like this but he found it pleasurable for both of them and he loved to do this to his baby.
"Oh..." Jamie moaned, his body shivering at the feel of Justin licking him.
Justin groaned as he continued licking and kissing. Jamie tasted of soap from his shower and that taste that was Jamie himself. Justin stroked his aching penis and shuddered. "I need you, baby," he said crawling back up Jamie's body.
"Yes, make love to me," Jamie groaned.
With no more than his spit and his abundant natural lubrication Justin pushed into Jamie then lay down on his back. Justin breathed heavily into Jamie's ear. "I'm all the way in, sexy. You feel so hot around me." Justin turned Jamie's head and pressed their lips together for a fierce kiss. "You make me so horny. I love you so much."
Jamie groaned as he sucked on Justin's tongue. He felt Justin start moving his hips as he slowly thrust into him. He threw his head back so Justin could suck on his neck. "Yessss..." he hissed. "More... fuck me, Justin."
Justin gladly complied by shifting his weight more onto his hands and knees and rhythmically pushing and pulling with his hips. He slid in and out of Jamie easily, the warm, tight glove of Jamie's muscles massaging and squeezing him. "Yes, you feel so good. I like fucking you."
Jamie groaned, loving the talk. "More, harder...."
Justin's breathing deepened as he continued ramming into Jamie. "You're mine. I get to fuck you whenever I want." Jamie shivered at the words. "I always want you. I can be in the middle of an interview and all I can think about is how you feel, how you taste..."
Justin clamped his mouth on Jamie's neck and sucked. As expected, Jamie cried out and tightened around him. His hips became more forceful as his need to cum grew within him. "I'm gonna cum, baby." His breathing became more ragged and he pushed far into Jamie making him gasp. He exploded, shooting forcefully as he trembled on top of Jamie's sweaty back.
Jamie lay in an erotic haze under Justin, feeling him pump into him. As Justin came he tightened up to give him even more pleasure. He loved to feel Justin taking him. Sighing happily, he turned his head to kiss Justin's jaw and cheek as he slumped on him.
"You are such a stud," Jamie said seductively.
"Oh ya?" Justin said with a twinkle in his eye. "Did you cum?"
Jamie shook his head. "No, but I'm close."
Justin pulled out and rolled Jamie over. Before Jamie could even settle himself back on the bed, Justin engulfed him fully into his mouth and throat. Justin bobbed quickly, teasing Jamie's sensitive spots with his tongue.
"Yes, just like that," Jamie gasped. He put his hands on Justin's head and came. Justin groaned in delight and started swallowing, giving Jamie small shivers of extra excitement.
Justin crawled up and cuddled Jamie into his arms. "That was nice."
Jamie kissed Justin, tasting himself on his lips and tongue. "How did you learn to do that so good?"
"I had the best teacher," Justin said with a twinkle in his eye. "And I'll love him forever."
Jamie smiled and touched Justin's cheek. "Good."
Justin pulled Jamie's head onto his chest and they cuddled into each other to get some sleep.
"Jamie?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"You do feel ok about the interview, right?"
Jamie sighed and one finger toyed with the hair growing around Justin's navel. "Yes, besides, it's all taped now."
"Doesn't mean they have to use it if we don't want them to."
Jamie nodded. "True, but eventually the truth will come out and it's better now than later."
"Continuing the year of no more lies, huh?"
"Sure thing," Jamie said with a smile. "Thanks for coming with me this morning."
Justin kissed Jamie's forehead. "Anything for you. It was kinda sad seeing him like that."
"Well, without you they probably wouldn't have let me in."
"Fame does have some benefits. I think it did AJ some good to see us."
Jamie nodded. "He did look better, but I believe him when he said he felt lonely. Being around all those strangers must be hard when you're used to a close-knit group for so long."
Justin squeezed Jamie tightly. "I'm glad he's getting help. I talked to one of the nurses when you were alone with him and he's really going at it gun-ho."
"I'm glad to hear that." Jamie yawned and rubbed his face into Justin's chest. "Let's get some sleep. We have some traveling to do tomorrow."
"I wish we were bussing it. But we have meetings about the next video and meetings about how many times we need to be out signing autographs..."
Jamie stopped Justin's list with a light kiss on the lips. "Don't think about it, just relax and get some sleep. Besides, worrying is Lance's job."
Justin chuckled. "Ok, sweet pea."
It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep.
"And here we are, back again with NSync and the road to Celebrity. Carson here in San Diego at our little tailgate party. Before we left we asked Justin one of our celebrity scruples questions. You need to buy a present for, I guess it would be Jamie, and you don't have the time to go shopping. Do you: order something over the phone or online, send an assistant out to get something, tell him that you were too busy and make it up to him or take the time to make something by hand?"
Justin looked over at Jamie in the band and winked. "That's hard to answer, I'm usually pretty good remembering to buy things so I don't usually find myself having that problem." He thought for a minute while the crowd screamed. "Well the first two are out completely. That's just not me. I probably would order something once in awhile but only if it was something I couldn't just go get. If it was down to the crunch, a card with a huge apology would work but I'd most likely set aside the time and make something."
The crowd cheered as Carson went over to the band. Lance looked at Chris with raised eyebrows and Joey stopped acting silly for the fans and took a couple of steps toward Carson.
"Is that true, Jamie?"
Jamie gave Carson a quick cross look but answered with a smile as soon as the camera focused on him. "It's very true. Justin is very considerate about things like that. He's like that with everyone, me, the guys, his family and friends."
"Does he give good presents?"
"Almost always, ya," Jamie said with a laugh.
'Alright. Moving on we now will hear one of the tracks live. This is a premiere, the first television performance of Gone. It was also written by Justin and Wade. Anything you'd like to tell us about this track, it's slightly dark for a love song."
Justin nodded. "Yes, it's a song about a love that's... well, gone. And how the guy is remembering what it was like and how he feels about that."
Carson nodded, obviously uninterested but having to ask the question for the show. "Great. Let it rip then. This is Gone."
"What the hell is wrong with that man?" JC muttered as they settled into their green room at the stadium.
"He's nosy and can't keep his mind out of other people's business," Joey said with a snarl.
"Lance, I thought we specifically asked that he downplay Justin and Jamie's relationship?"
Lance thought for a minute. "We asked that he not go out of his way to mention it or include Jamie."
"Why? It's not a secret or anything." Justin plopped down on the couch.
Lance shrugged. "Because..."
"Because that's the way I wanted it," Jamie said closing the door behind him.
"Huh?" Justin asked.
"That's just not right," Joey said. "You're just as much a part of this now."
"I agree," JC said shaking his head.
Jamie stood in front of the group with hands on his hips. "Now let's get over this right now. I'm Justin's husband but I'm NOT a member of this group. This show was about you and Celebrity, not about me and Justin. I had Johnny lay down some ground rules for MTV and Carson while they were planning this. Carson played with them a little and he'll be yelled at. I made sure of that."
"Oooo... he's pissed," Chris cackled. "You can see his forehead is red."
Jamie wiped his forehead with one hand and smiled. "That's just from the sun," he laughed.
Justin reached over and pulled him into his lap. "You're so sweet." He pulled Jamie's head down for a kiss.
"Hey.... lonely people over here," Joey joked.
Jamie looked up, leaving Justin with his head back and eyes happily closed. "Why? You feeling left out and want some, Joe?"
Joey chuckled and waved his hands. "Um... ya but not from you."
"Ok, up and at em!" Johnny called coming through the door. "Sound check party in half an hour."
Jamie was strolling around the backstage, waiting for the guys to get through with a short post-concert photo op with some handicapped children for a local paper. He was humming to himself and wiping his neck with a towel, having just taken a quick shower in the dressing rooms.
Trying to find his way back to the room where the guys were, he rounded a corner and ran into none other than Carson Daly. They looked at each other in surprise for a second before Carson put on the biggest, fake smile he could muster.
"Well, look who I found."
"Hi, Carson," Jamie said coldly. He moved to walk by him but was stopped by Carson's hand on his arm.
"I thought we were at least friendly. That greeting was a little harsh."
"I have very few friendly feelings left towards you, Carson."
"What have I done to you?"
"Does that little thing with Nick last December jar your memory slightly? That was pretty low, especially after I thought we had an agreement. And this afternoon you started pushing the line when you knew not to."
"Aw, come one. I was only trying to get some information."
"By blackmailing Nick? That's sick even for you. At least now you don't have anything to figure out."
"Well, now I know other things too."
Jamie sighed tiredly. "Like?"
"Like you've been under a doctor's care in the recent past and probably still are. You are or were on some pretty heavy medication. Am I striking any chords?"
Jamie glared at the VJ. "Not like it's any of your business but it's true."
Carson smiled in triumph. "I knew it! Can't wait to get on the air Monday."
"You can't."
"Of course I can," Carson snorted. "I have the forum and can speak my mind."
"Is losing your job worth it? Because that's what will happen if you go that way." Jamie wearily rubbed his eyes then came to a realization. "You'll find out the whole story. Everyone will," he said confidently.
Carson was shaken a little by this turn around. "What do you mean?"
"Do you like Barbara Walters? I suggest you watch her tomorrow night. I hear she has some interesting guests." He took a deep breath. "Security!"
A couple of the stadium men came around a corner.
"Mr. Daly was just leaving. Please show him to his car. Good bye, Carson."
Jamie turned and walked quickly away leaving Carson to be led away like a trespasser.
"Welcome to this edition and very special interview, I'm Barbara Walters. Over the years I have interviewed celebrities, politicians and world leaders. Not many have touched my heart like my guests tonight.
Five of the six young men I will talk to are an international sensation. They are one of America's most famous pop groups. They have sold over 20 million albums and hope to add to that total with their third album which comes out on Tuesday. They sell out concerts wherever they are held and are highly requested on MTV. They are NSync."
Concert footage started playing over Barbara's monologue, mostly showing clips from the No Strings Attached Tour.
"Much has been said about these hard-working young men. Much false, some true. They guard their private lives because they are constantly in the public eye. Sometimes the need to let information out becomes important before reality can become distorted and lies and rumor believed.
This happens all too often with celebrities. Just this past spring, Justin took the brave step and publicly admitted his homosexuality. The sex lives of pop stars, especially teen icons, is a taboo subject in an industry that portrays it's stars as clean and wholesome while catering to the baser impulses of the girls that make up a majority of the fan base.
Pre-packaged product? While no one can deny that there are some acts that certainly fit this description, you don't get that feel from the men of NSync when you meet them in person. Because of their very busy schedule, I took these interviews over a period of time. In this first segment, I caught up with the group during the beginning of their current summer tour in a hotel somewhere in the midwest. We talked about life as a pop star, how to be true to yourself and living in close quarters with the same five people for many years."
The scene shifted to the five guys sitting in two rows, Lance, JC and Justin on a couch with Chris and Joey on stools behind them.
"Do you think I look fat?" Joey asked.
"Not at all. Here, have some more pizza," Chris said passing the box.
Justin smirked from the floor and stifled his laughter with one hand.
"Where would you get that idea?" Lance asked smirking.
"Hey, I like my man with a little meat on him," Kelly said with a giggle. "Leave him alone."
"Ya, what she said." Joey leaned over and kissed Kelly on the cheek.
"As I talked more with them," Barbara narrated over the shot of the guys laughing at some joke, "It was apparent that the everyday image that they portray and that we've come to know is not an act. They are truly down to earth, normal kids. Although the term young men is more accurate as the youngest member, Justin, is now twenty and Chris is closing in on thirty."
"Justin, you were very young when the group started and you went to Europe. What was that like for you?"
"When we started the group I was fourteen and had just turned fifteen when we went to Germany for the first time," Justin answered. "Since I'd been a part of the Mickey Mouse Club before that, the actual day to day of singing and dancing was very familiar. But the traveling and real busy schedule wasn't. Lance and I were being tutored in any free minute and my Mom was with us constantly. It was tough but it was fun too."
"Do you ever wonder what it would've been like to go to a regular school and do all the stuff that normal teens do?"
Justin shrugged. "Well, except for a part of one year before the group formed, I hadn't been in a regular school since I was around 11. So I guess I really didn't miss it much. JC or Lance is probably better to answering that."
JC cleared his throat. "I only went to a regular High School for a half year before the Club." He shrugged. "I was tutored for all the rest by the Disney people, all of us there were. I guess if I had to pick the one person in the group who gave up the most, it would be Lance."
"Is this true, Lance? Was is hard giving up a so-called normal life?"
"It was hard," Lance said nodding. "I had gone through a couple of years of High School and left it all to be with these guys. I think I'm the only one that really understands what it means to give up that life. Joey and Chris were already done and Justin and JC didn't have the experience, really."
"Chris," Barbara continued, "tell us what it was like being, what... 25 and working with these much younger guys."
"It wasn't all that hard. I've made no claim to be the most mature guy here. Actually I think Justin and Lance win that title. Yes there were times when I wanted to just give them something to put them to sleep for awhile but we did and still do get along really well."
"No fights and no stress?"
The guys all laugh. "We never said that!" Joey answered. "When we're described as brothers that probably the closest thing that works to explain our vibe. We still fight and argue, but in the end it's all good. We are a family and the usual tension is there sometimes."
Barbara smiled. "Who's got the lowest boiling point? Who's liable to blow up first?"
"That would be me," Justin answered. "But not in a bad way. It's alot better now but early on I really didn't take teasing well, especially the baby jokes. It took one big blow out for that to stop. Now it's all cool."
"Baby?"
"Ya, being the youngest," JC answered, "we would always raz him about it. And the teen magazines loved to call him the baby of the group. He really got on us one day to stop, his face was so red!"
"I remember that very well, too," Lance added. "I felt so awful that I think I cried that whole afternoon because Justin wouldn't speak to us." Lance laughs a little. "It's funny because I was only a little older than he was and I had no room to talk."
"This sure brings back memories, doesn't it?" JC asked as he stroked Lances hair. Lance was laying in the love seat and had his head in JC's lap.
"Sure does. It's been a long road, hasn't it?"
"Ya, Chris, but I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anyone else," Lance answered him.
"Ditto," Joey put in. He looked around. "Hey! Where'd the old married couple go?"
"To get some munchies from their room," Kelly answered.
"Oh great," Chris sighed. "We won't see them until tomorrow."
Joey chuckled. "Think they'd mind if I went and took their chips?"
Lance laughed and threw a bag into his lap. "Leave them alone... unless you want to watch?"
Joey made a scrunched up face. "Ummm... Naaaaaah!"
"So what's the trick to not letting the star life get to you?" Barbara asked.
"It sounds like a pat answer but we have each other. We're our own worst critics," Joey answered.
"Very true," Chris added. "If one of us happens to start floating off then the others are right there to tie a rope on and slap him back down to earth."
"That sounds horrible, but it's true," Lance laughed. "It's such a great relationship we have with each other. We can tell each other anything or say anything. Sure, sometimes that causes hard feelings, but we get over those real quick."
"Lance is right. There's nothing that any of doesn't know about the other," JC agreed.
"Plus all of us are very close to our families," Justin added. "My mom is my best friend, really."
"It's also nice that our families are close to each other as well. My folks love to play host when JC, Lance or Chris' families come to visit," Joey said with a grin.
"Pasta for miles," Chris laughed.
"I'm glad you came for this. Jamie has been a little off since the interview and watching it tonight might make it worse."
"Well, that's not the only reason I'm here for the weekend," Zack said with a twinkle in his eye.
Paul blushed and snuggled tighter into Zack. "I missed you too."
Zack smiled and kissed Paul on the cheek. The commercial ended and they focused back to the program.
Barbara's monologue continued over footage of an autograph signing. "I got to follow the group over two days during this tour and if anyone says they sit around all day and play video games they'd be wrong. The one morning I shadowed them we went to two record signings, one radio interview and a short photo shoot."
"Most people wouldn't think that would be much but this was all before one of their sound check parties at the stadium, a short dinner for disadvantaged youth and then their show. The next morning they were up for one more radio appearance before they bussed out to the next city to start all over again. A life few would envy."
The camera framed JC. "Touring is something we like to do. I think it's something that we all enjoy and are good at. To see our fans out there screaming and having a good time... well.. it's awesome."
"They don't pretend the life isn't hard but they sure make it look easy. They have a grueling schedule that leaves little personal time and virtually no time for friends and family. NSync has adjusted by making sure that friends and family visit them as often as they can."
Clips rolled showing Kelly and Joey sitting in a quiet corner playing with Brianna, Jamie handing Justin a towel and bottle of water and giving him a kiss on the cheek before heading away with Lynn, Dani fussing over some jackets that Chris was trying on, Lance's mom walking through the hall with Lance on her arm as they talked and Tyler playing some pickup basketball with JC near the back of one arena.
"And you're going to be there right?"
"Jesus, Randall, yes... I just got in town and I'm meeting them tomorrow. Pat is flying in later in the afternoon."
"Please don't take the Lord's name in vane, Lynn. Ok... I'm just worried. I've been worried with all the press and Jamie looked tired on the television yesterday."
"Why, Randall," Lynn cooed, her voice softening completely. "Do you love Jamie as much as the rest of us?"
Randall chuckled. "I have to admit, yes. He's got a nice easy way about him and he's a nice boy. Most importantly he makes my son happy."
"Our son, Randall. Our son."
"Oh, yes, of course. Our son. He is happy, Lynn, isn't he?"
"Yes he is. He's grown up and becoming an adult. Where did the years go?"
"I know. Sometimes when I look at him I still see the curly haired mop of hair and that beaming smile when I would give him a stick of gum."
Lynn laughed. "I remember. How are Lisa and the kids?"
"Doing great and send their love. Tell Justin to give Jonathan a call soon, he misses hearing from him."
"I surely will." Lynn paused. "Randall, I know that at times we haven't been that good to each other..."
"You don't have to finish that sentence. It's all water under the bridge, Lynn. We've raised a good child who's grown into a man any parent would be proud of. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I know I've been critical of some of the decisions that were made and I want you to know that I think you've done a great job watching over and guiding him."
"Thanks, Randall. You are owed some of the credit. He does love his Daddy."
Randall cleared his throat and coughed a little and Lynn knew that he was trying to not show how touched he was. "So how's Paul doing. We don't see much of him here and I know he's not spending much time in Orlando either..."
"I'm not in Orlando much as well but we're doing fine. He's been flying all over the world it seems but we manage to get some time together."
"Good. Give him my best next time you talk to him."
"Sure will. I'll call you in a couple of days."
"Alright, night Lynn."
"Night."
"Just recently, the group took a two day break and headed home to leave the tour life and rest up before the mad rush to the release of their latest album. I talked with Justin as he showed me around the grounds of his modest 3 acre property in the Orlando suburbs."
The camera showed Justin and Barbara walking around the backside of the pool as we waved his hand past the lawn.
"When I bought the house there were other undeveloped properties behind us and on one side. We learned that a developer wanted to put in a new division back here. So I bought out almost the whole parcel with some of our neighbors on this side of the street."
"So how large a piece of land is it?"
"I think it's close to 20 acres and runs almost the entire length of the street."
"Any plans for it?"
I think we'll just leave it as is for now. One neighbor a couple of houses down has already extended his backyard out into it. We're happy with what we have but there's been some talk about putting in a couple of holes for golfing and a putting green." They continued to walk and came to the patio.
"This is nice. You said it was new?" Barbara asked, settling into a rattan chair.
Justin nodded and joined her. "That whole wing was added this spring, so we have this nice corner with the hot tub and some flower beds. It was Jamie's wedding present to me."
"Very generous present. What did you get him?"
Justin blushed. "Well, the big thing was the townhouse in New York. He needed some place that was close to school and I've been thinking for awhile now of getting something in the city. We're there alot."
"If you don't mind, I'd like to get a little personal." Justin waved his hand with a smile for her to continue. "So what was it like hiding your sexual orientation and tell us about the experience of being blackmailed like you were?"
"For a long time I denied what I was. I think that's a usual experience. I always thought I was different and that it was a phase or something. From the mail that we've gotten I've found out I'm not that unique."
"Did being a public figure and in the press constantly cause you problems?"
"It sure did. I was scared that someone would find out. I had those feelings and I wasn't embarrassed about myself, but public reaction can be very negative."
"Did your former management and advisors know and have you bury everything?"
"They didn't know, nobody did, not even the guys."
"But I thought there were no secrets."
Justin frowned a little and nodded. "Well, I guess there were some secrets. But I dated girls early on and we were so busy that the question was never asked. I guess I'm guilty of just not saying. I'd like to think that if any of the guys asked me I would've told them and been honest." Justin sighed and rubbed a hand across his stubble. "Nobody really knew about me except for me. But from the beginning I remember Lou sitting us down and giving us the 'if you're queer that's fine but keep it quiet or you won't hit it big' speech."
"That sounds fairly cruel."
Justin shrugged. "They were grooming us for the product they wanted." Justin smirked. "I think they bit off more than they could chew. We really tried to follow the path they set for us but we were always pushing at the boundaries of the rules."
"Trying to make your mark and identity your own from the beginning, huh?"
"Oh ya. Even though he fought to keep us, I think deep down Lou was happy to see us go."
"So you pretended to be something you weren't..."
"Well... I wouldn't put it that way. I'm me. If I was required to be shy and cute, I did that. When they wanted wholesome and well rounded, I did that. Even when they asked me to be the heartthrob. It was a job and I was -almost- acting, but really just bringing out different aspects of me. I'm happy now that I can just be me, 100 percent me."
"And your sexuality? How did that evolve?"
"I was in heavy denial for a good many years even though I knew the truth deep down. But as the group became more popular, the pressure to hide became even greater. I was pretty content to just live in this shell I'd built until it was safe to be myself again."
"But then you met Jamie..."
Justin's smile lit up his face. "Ya. People always talk about the moments that change your life and that was definitely one for me."
"Was it love at first sight?"
Again Justin smiled with a little blush. "For me it was although I didn't realize it at the time. Meeting him just tore down that shell and I knew then and there that my life wouldn't be the same."
"That was in October of 1999, and so here we are happily ever after?"
"Not quite that easy. When I met Jamie he was already in a relationship. I'll let him talk about that, it's not an easy subject."
"Did you sweep him off his feet and steal him away, then?"
Justin laughed. "Sounds so romantic doesn't it? No, nothing like that. We got to know each other and didn't really get together until that following January."
"And got married a little more than a year later. Whirlwind romance?"
"Oh, definitely. When we got together there was this energy. It's like we're meant for each other, it's hard to explain. We immediately felt comfortable and like we'd known each other for years. We've both done alot of thinking about this and can't come up with any way to explain it." Justin shrugged. "Sounds corny but we are soul mates."
"It was a very brave move to not knuckle under to the pressure of hiding and publicly admit your private life like you did. Was it difficult for you and how do you feel now that you've done it?"
"That was the hardest thing I've ever done. I love Jamie, heart and soul. Part of that is wanting to protect him and I knew that my coming out would make him a target. But I couldn't let the blackmailer get away with making me feel like my love for him was wrong or something to be ashamed of." Justin took a moment and rubbed his forehead. "Now that it's no longer a secret? It feels so different. Hiding something like that takes energy and it causes tension. Now all that's gone. It's a very free feeling."
"How has fan reaction been so far?"
"Well, our concerts are selling just as good as we thought they would. Fan mail has been mixed but for those fans we lose because of their feelings toward me we get others." He chuckled and scratched his head. "As a matter of fact, we now have a whole fan club within our fan club of our gay and lesbian fans. They are great and are really doing some good things in their communities for awareness and tolerance."
"How did the other guys feel about you coming out?"
"I wouldn't have done it if they felt uncomfortable. They have been nothing but supportive of me and Jamie."
"Any words of advice to other closeted gays and lesbians?"
"I'm hardly one to spread words of wisdom. I did what I thought I had to do and was right for me. If I can say anything then it would be to trust yourself and do what you feel in your heart is right for you. If that means coming out, then do it, but only if you feel safe and comfortable."
"Well, so far so good."
"That was the easy part." Phil took the bowl from Dan and started eating.
"You'd better watch out, twirp, or you'll be too chunky for dancing."
Phil stuck out his tongue at his older brother.
"Phil, stop that," their mother scolded. "You're an adult now so act like one."
Phil frowned and glared at his brother who only giggled at him.
"And Danforth, you know better." Pat smiled at her sons warmly.
"Yes Ma," they chorused. They were so in unison that all three broke out in laughter.
"Ma, are you still heading out to meet them?"
"Got a flight in the morning."
"Can I come?" Phil asked hopefully.
Pat pursed her lips. "Is Wade with them?" Dan hid a snicker behind his hand.
Phil beamed. "He will be in two days."
Pat sighed and smiled. "Ok, but only if there's a seat on my flight. If not then you're stuck here."
Phil nodded and headed out of the room.
"Where ya going, runt?" Dan asked.
"Online to see if there's room on Ma's flight."
Mother and eldest son looked at each other and grinned.
The next scene showed Jamie and Barbara walking through the house. Lance and Joey were sitting in the kitchen playing cards as they passed through. They met JC and Chris at the pool table in the basement.
"After a huge lunch, Jamie Campbell-Timberlake took me on a tour of the inside of their home. He told me about his childhood in the state of Maine and about his family. Jamie is the middle son of three brothers. Their pictures and those of both families sit on the top of the baby grand piano in the living room. When we settled on the couch, I asked him about his relationship with Justin."
"I know both of you have said alot about your feelings for each other. Justin used the term soul mates and said you have an energy. Is it that way for you?"
Jamie grinned. "He loves to talk about it that way but he's described it the best we can. I think we both felt that instant connection. I honestly feel like I was meant to be with him."
"Was it love at first sight for you?"
"Um... not really, no." Jamie lowered his head and sighed. "I was in a relationship when I first met him. He saw me through a very difficult couple of weeks. During that time I fell in love with him."
"Much has been said so far about your past. The gossip is starting about your history stemming from meeting Justin and the other guys."
Jamie nodded. "I know and I want to clear the air and come clean about this." Jamie cleared his throat and continued. "When I had first met Justin I was in a relationship."
"Was it another man?"
"Yes. I was never one to hide and just about everyone knew I was gay. I had been with my boyfriend for about a year. We shared a dorm room together. It was very nice even though our schedules rarely matched. I was graduating mid-year and trying to decide what I wanted to do. There was some stress on us because of that. He wanted me to stay at least until he graduated that spring, but my best choice was to head to New York."
"You were going to school in Boston. How did you meet NSync?"
"The college I was attending holds an annual homecoming dance and uses that as a way to get donations from alumni. It's a pretty big deal. That year we needed another act to share the dance with the stage band. One of the Deans, I found out, is a relative of Johnny, their manager."
"So they came and that's how you met. What happened with your boyfriend?"
Jamie took a big breath and rubbed his cheek. "That's more difficult. While Justin was there for the first meetings about the dance I got into a fight with my boyfriend. I found that he'd been fooling around behind my back. Things got out of control and he beat and raped me. If it wasn't for Justin and my friend Zack I don't know what else would've happened."
"That's horrifying and shocking. What happened from there?"
"I... I pressed charges." Jamie faltered at that point and wiped his eyes. Justin was there immediately and sat next to him and pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry..."
Barbara shook her head. "No, you have nothing to be sorry about. We can continue later if you'd like?"
"No... I'm fine." Jamie leaned his head against Justin's and let Justin comfort him on camera. "He went to jail and I moved on. I graduated and moved to New York."
"Where did Justin fit in with this?"
"After the dance we had decided that we would consider ourselves dating, I guess. For me, at the time, it didn't work. I was a mess emotionally and couldn't even think of being with someone."
"I never gave up hope," Justin added quietly. "I had already fallen deeply in love with him."
Jamie smiled. "I was in love too but denying it. A large part of me couldn't even consider it a possibility. In all honesty I was broken and couldn't trust even Justin that way. After telling Justin I couldn't do it we didn't see each other until near the end of January."
"Did you still love him as much, Justin?"
"I never changed my feelings for him. I was hurt and sad, sure, but something told me that it was right."
"How did you get back together?"
"I guess I was moping alot and Lance and Josh decided that they'd had enough of that and we went to New York so I could tell Jamie how I felt."
"Since you are both here today I assume it worked out well."
Jamie nodded. "It really proved to me that Justin was being sincere. I had come a long way in those two months since the dance and gave in." He snickered a little. "Justin wasn't really taking no for an answer."
Barbara smiled. "I would imagine, like any victim of a brutal rape, that you were in therapy and working through much emotional turmoil."
"Oh ya. I have Justin to thank for alot of my recovery. He always let me know he loved me and did what he needed to do to make me feel whole and normal."
"Are you still in therapy?"
"This is where I want to set the record straight so no more lies are told. Yes, I still see someone occasionally and I still have a prescription for anti-depressants. I was fairly well medicated the year after. I was having terrible nightmares and bouts of depression."
"How are you now?"
"So much better. My ex is dead now. He died from AIDs that he contracted while in jail. I still feel slightly guilty about that."
"Did you get a chance to see him before he passed?"
Jamie nodded. "It was very difficult. Justin and I went to visit him in the hospital. I hadn't seen him in a little over a year. I didn't want him to..." Jamie cleared his throat, "to die alone. He died in my arms."
Justin wrapped his arms around Jamie and squeezed tightly while kissing his temple. The cameras got a close up then showed Barbara dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
"He's so fuckin' brave," the girl said in a deep southern twang.
"They are so cute together. You can see the love through the television," Dani replied. She frowned at the girl next to her. "And since when did you start swearing?"
Britney Spears smiled at her from her place leaning against the couch. "I'm changing my image. I want to be a bad ass!"
They were interrupted by the ringing phone. Britney answered.
"Hey, Chrissie!" Britney smiled and started nodding her head. "Ya, Dani and me are watching. Hey, are you crying?" Another shorter pause. "Ok, I'll tell them. I'm meeting them for lunch tomorrow."
"Is that...?" Dani started asking before Britney handed the phone to her. "Hey... is that you Ag the hag?" Dani laughed loud and full. "You know I love you girl!" She listened for a second. "I'll be sure to tell him, bye."
"Ag the hag?" Britney questioned. "Ryan called her that once years ago and he almost ended up singing soprano."
"I can get away with it. She calls me the NSync elf slut."
Both girls laughed and turned their attention back to the television.
"So let's move on to more happier topics. Jamie, what's it like having an immensely popular and very successful boyfriend?"
"I did pretty good, didn't I?" he laughed and Justin smiled. "But to be more accurate, he's my husband now."
"I stand corrected," Barbara smiled. "How do you deal with the screaming fans, the hectic schedule?"
"I think it's great. I consider myself lucky that I can be there and see what he goes through each day. When we're on stage and I see all those 'I love you, Justin' signs I feel nothing but pride."
"Does the fame affect your relationship?"
Jamie shrugged. "I don't think so except in the obvious ways, like schedules and security. There are times I miss being able to go out and do anything. Now even I have to be careful about crowds and mobbing by the fans."
"This may be a touchy question, but if Justin wasn't this big public figure earning lots of money would you feel the same way about him?"
"Most definitely. The best way to answer that would be to ask you if you're husband would love you any less if you decided to become a sales clerk or an at-home mom, something very low profile. I don't care if he's slinging fries at McDonalds, I fell in love with the person he is, not the job he does."
Barbara smiled. "Great answer. Now, you're a musician, too, and play in the band?"
"I'm a guitar player..."
"He's the bomb," Justin interrupted. "He's sooo good."
Jamie tapped Justin on the knee with a blush. "Stop..." he giggled.
"Can't help it. When I hear you play, I'm just so happy and proud too."
"But ya, I play in the back up band and it's the best job, even without the fringe benefits."
"So you'd still do it even if you and Justin weren't together?"
"Definitely. As well as good friends, these guys are the best bosses. It's a great experience working for them."
"Now school was mentioned. What are your plans?"
"In September I start my Master's at the Manhattan School in New York. It's a two year program in Jazz and American Music studies."
"Very commendable. What would your future plans be with that education?"
"At first I thought I'd just continue gigging in New York and teaching students privately and eventually wind up teaching in some nice small liberal arts college somewhere. Now, I obviously have many more options. I've decided not to plan too far ahead. I know when I get out of school, I'll have offers and we'll make a decision from there."
"You include Justin in that?"
"Of course. We're married and what one does affects the other."
"Justin, what do you have to say to that?"
"I think whatever he wants to do is fine and I will support him no matter what. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I would want him with me every day, but I know that at times that's not realistic for either of us. He has a career separate from mine and he needs to do his thing. I am so proud that he's getting such a great education and what he's accomplished. Some day I want to do that as well."
Barbara nodded. "I heard that you've played for the Backstreet Boys? Isn't that like going behind enemy lines?"
"I don't care what everyone says, we are not at war with Backstreet!" Justin said with a laugh.
Jamie grinned at him. "Yes, I played a weekend to fill in a couple of months ago. They actually wanted to hire me for the whole tour but I couldn't at the time. And Justin's right. The two groups are not at all fighting. Sure they are competing with each other. Everyone is in the industry. Backstreet is actually a nice group of guys and we're pretty friendly with them."
"What are your thoughts about AJ's problems? Any inside information from knowing them?"
"Not much more than what's already been said. Our heart goes out to AJ and we wish him well. I'm glad he's getting some help for whatever is troubling him. He's very brave," Justin said. Jamie agreed with a nod and flashed a thumbs up at the camera.
"Are you the perfect couple? Do you fight or have arguments?"
"We're just like any other couple. We disagree and have spats and make up."
"I like the making up part," Justin said with a laugh.
Barbara grinned. "I think you'd get no argument from anyone on that. Any major blow outs?"
Jamie frowned and ducked his head. "We did have one at the beginning of February." His spirits lifted a little and he chuckled. "It was quite a scene."
Justin nodded in agreement. "We were apart for 5 days and I felt like someone had cut my arm off."
"Separated?"
"Oh, that sounds worse than it actually was," Justin hurriedly explained. "Jamie was going to be in New York anyway playing for Rosie O'Donnell while I stayed behind in Orlando to work on the record."
"Because of the fight I just left a day earlier than planned. Of course we didn't talk that week."
"That's mostly because we were both being kinda dumb about it... and stubborn."
"Hey, I'm not the one that let's his phone battery die out," Jamie laughed.
"And you left yours on the counter," Justin said with a wide smile.
"Ok, fellas, let's not start another one," Barbara laughed.
"It's alright. This is what we're like most of the time," Jamie said with a grin to Justin.
"Ok, if you could describe how each of you feels about the other in just a few words... two or three... what would they be?"
"You start," Jamie chided with a nudge to Justin.
Justin grinned and took Jamie's hand. "Admiration and deep, respectful love."
Jamie's eye watered a little. "How am I supposed to top that?"
"How about a tie?" Barbara suggested with a chuckle. "I didn't mean it to be a competition."
Jamie thought and looked into Justin's eyes. "Love too big to describe and incredible fondness."
"Yesssss," Justin hissed. "Just like that... more... oh ya, harder."
Jamie continued to stab into Justin with hard, deep thrusts. He could feel Justin tightening around him and made sure to hit Justin's spot on every inward jab. "Mmmmm, you feel so tight, JuJu. So warm and tight." Justin groaned and looked up at Jamie with unfocused eyes.
Justin had sensed Jamie getting tense as the special continued. With the excuse of getting some munchies, he lured Jamie into their hotel room and ambushed him. Jamie simply smirked as Justin deftly undressed him, his protests silenced behind long, wet kisses.
"More... I love you, Jamie." Justin's hands grabbed Jamie's waist and pulled them tightly against each other as he came in long, ropey spurts. His body flushed and breathing heavy, Justin kissed Jamie lustily. "You make me feel so good. More..." he ordered quietly.
Jamie smiled and resumed his rhythm to Justin's gasps and groans. Jamie's mouth moved over Justin's face and along his neck to his shoulder, licking at the sweaty skin. He felt powerful in taking Justin this way, controlling his pleasure.
"I want you to cum again, JuJu," he groaned into Justin's ear.
"I... oh, ya... please make me..." Justin's words trailed off into a whimper as Jamie moved his angle slightly to make constant contact with his prostate.
Jamie felt his orgasm building and concentrated to hold it off until Justin was ready. His skin was tingling as sweat covered his chest and back. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing, the slap of Jamie against Justin and Justin's soft whimpers of delight.
Jamie knew his control was rapidly fading as he stiffened even more inside Justin. Maintaining the pace, his lips found Justin's left nipple and sucked it hard. Justin cried out as his fingers dug into Jamie's hips.
"That's... mmmmm... yes... that feels... ah!" Justin panted as Jamie worked the nipple with his lips, tongue and teeth.
All too soon the overwhelming tide flowed through Jamie and he knew that it was inevitable. He clamped down on Justin's nipple with his teeth, making Justin cry out and buck underneath him. Justin tightened his muscles and pushed Jamie over the edge.
Jamie poured out into Justin as his hips pressed inward as far as they could. As his world exploded, he was dimly aware of Justin pulsing between them, a slight 'oh' escaping his lips.
They lay there for long minutes until they could breath normally, softly caressing each other.
"You are such a stud," Justin finally said with a giggle.
Jamie beamed and pulled out of Justin. "That makes two of us, gorgeous."
Justin leaned his head up and gave Jamie a tender kiss.
The special wrapped up with all six sitting around Justin and Jamie's living room with Barbara in a chair facing them. "We've talked about many things this hour, but now that I have all of you here let's talk about your new album, Celebrity. I've seen that you've written a good portion of the songs with Wade Robson, Justin."
Justin nodded enthusiastically. "I think we've all contributed something this time around, Josh and me the most. It happens that a good portion of what I did was chosen by the label."
"Does that make you a little jealous, JC? You were named the group songwriter after No Strings Attached?"
"Not at all. I wasn't in a very productive place, it seems, when we sat down to record. I have a couple of songs on it. I'm happy that Justin got a chance to show how creative he can be. He's written some of the best stuff on the record."
"So I've heard when I listened. One of the songs, Gone, is very haunting. What place did you pull that from, Justin?"
"Most of the time, and I think Josh will agree, we pull from personal experience when we write. I wrote Gone during a very sad time. We talked about it earlier, when Jamie and I had that huge fight. My Mom wasn't around and Josh was... away, so I felt somewhat alone."
"Gee, makes us feel real wanted, doesn't it, Joe?" Chris said in a mock sad and hurt voice.
"You're such a tool!" Justin chuckled. "You know what I meant."
"I take it JC is the one that you go to, besides Jamie, for someone to confide in?"
"Oh definitely. Every one of them is my best friend, but I guess Josh is like the first among equals."
"Very well put to keep everyone happy, Justin." Barbara glanced at the rest of the room. "What about the rest of you?"
"With me it's Joey all the way," Chris said.
"I'd agree with that, but because of the movie, Lance and I are pretty close now too," Joey agreed.
JC smiled. "Of course it's Justin and Lance too." He glanced at Lance and gave him a big smile.
Lance's deep voice broke through shyly. "I go to JC and Joey alot. In the last year, though, Jamie and I have grown pretty close. I'd have to say outside these other four goofballs that he's my best friend."
"And Jamie? Who do you look to for help?"
"None of these clowns, that's for sure," Jamie laughed. A chorus of 'heys!' erupted. "Ok, that's not true. Aside from Justin it would be Lance first. Lance is my best friend and it's nice. Other than that I have a friend in New York and two brothers that I call alot."
"Nah... you can't count Phil. What does he know?" Chris laughed. Jamie grinned and let the comment pass.
"Well, I want to thank you all for being candid and allowing us this peak into what makes this group tick. Any last words for our viewers?" Barbara asked with a smile.
"I think we've just about said it all," Lance replied.
"Oh... go get Celebrity on the 24th! It's super!" Chris grinned.
"Anything else? Justin?"
Justin tenderly clutched Jamie's hand and smiled. "I just want to let everyone know that there's always hope. You can find love, sometimes when you least expect it. If you've found that love don't ever let it go. With love, everything and anything is possible."
And so their story continues...
Notes: Ever After - paraphrased from closing to Act I of 'Into The Woods'
Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com AIM: bangoremail http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bangoremail1