If you don't agree with guys being in love with guys, then you need to find someplace else to spend time.
Okay, these characters are not meant to resemble any living or dead person.
I make no apology to anyone who is offended by anything in this story.
Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at Hnstskr4@aol.com
Copyright 2008, 2009, 2010 by Chuck B.
Chapter 11
Joshua At The Doorstep
Shaun's POV:
Looks like it's just me and cat this morning since Jason is at work. I don't know why but I'm feeling like my world is going to crash in around me. Don't exactly know why I'm feeling this way but I am. Maybe if I get out of the house, things will cool down a bit. There is only one place where I can go to get away from it without leaving the complex. It's at Ms. White's apartment.
Ms. White just has this way of making me relax. I picked up the phone and called over there. Sometimes, she decides to go out with her friends for coffee. Kind of want to make sure she is home before I go over.
"Hello, is this Shaun or Jason?"
"It's Shaun. Mind if I come over?"
"No not at all, come on over."
I made sure all the lights were turned off before I headed over to her apartment. I gently knocked on the door just to let her know that I was there. She doesn't keep her door unlocked so if she knows that people are coming over she'll unlock it so they can come right in rather than stand there and wait. Don't really like it, but since everyone has to get buzzed into the building or has to have key, I guess it's not that bad. I opened her door and stepped inside.
I found her sitting in her recliner with the cat on her lap. I swear that cat has an almost human spirit to it. She seems to know when the dirt is going to fly and will put herself right into the middle of it.
"How are you doing this morning?" I asked her, she kind of looks like her arthritis is acting up.
"I'm doing okay. Have things got back to normal since your mom called?"
"Yeah, Jason did everything he could to help me to relax. The guy is amazing. He's a far cry from Payton."
She smiled before continuing the conversation.
"I hope it stays that way. You boys deserve to have some quiet. Shaun, I need to have breakfast. Have you eaten already?"
"I already ate. I'll let you get your breakfast."
I was going to get up from the chair when her cat got up from her lap and made her way to my lap. She apparently doesn't want me to leave. Don't get it, usually she won't come up to me. Maybe, it's the smell of our cat on me. I sat there and played with the cat while Ms. White had her breakfast. Don't think she even realized that I stayed. She came back to her chair to do some television watching.
"Oh Shaun, I thought you had left."
"I was planning on going but then the cat came up on my lap. I figured she wanted to play and who am I deny her. Well, I really think that I should get going."
I picked up the cat and gently placed her on the floor. Time always flies by at her home. I had been there for almost a half hour. I opened up the door and looked down the hallway towards my door.
A familiar figure sat on the floor by our apartment. As I got closer, I realized that it's Joshua. What is he doing here? He's here all the way from Utah. I bent down so I could see his eyes.
"Joshua?"
He looked into my eyes and I could see the wet lines on his face where tears had run down his face. Being close to him, as I was, I could smell him. He is pretty rank. Judging by the tears, I don't think that he would take any comments about his smell very well. Think I'll keep it to myself for now. He has nothing with him except for the clothes that he's wearing and one backpack. Maybe, he wasn't planning on being here very long. Finally after a couple minutes, he got up and looked at me.
When he did look at me, the teardrops started falling again. Wow...I've never seen him like this before. Sure, I've seen him cry but for some reason, this time just looks different. Despite the body odor, Joshua needs a hug. His head is now resting on my shoulder. I dropped my right hand from his back and dug into my pants pocket for the keys.
With the keys out of my pants, I opened the door. Joshua walked in and sat down on the couch. He didn't even bother grabbing his backpack, so I brought it into the apartment. I gave him his backpack and he gave me a smile through the tears.
"Josh first things first, you need to call Mom and Dad. They're worried sick. Ummm...you also need to take a shower."
His eyes dug into face. His face suddenly didn't look all that happy or sad. In fact, he looked pretty furious with me. Don't know what I said but he doesn't look one bit happy.
"Shaun, you have no idea what it's been like at Mom's house. I'm not about to call her. She's been a bit of bitch lately..."
Wow... that is pretty harsh coming from my brother. He used to be pretty straight laced. Ordinarily, I would have corrected his ass about calling Mom a bitch, but I know what's been going on so, I'll excuse it this time.
"Don't be so surprised! If you've been going through what I've been through, you might feel the same way. Look, if you hand me the phone, I'll call Dad."
I gave him the phone and stepped into the guest bedroom.
I didn't want to be too far away just in case things got bad. He dialed the number and sat there quietly for a few seconds before the look on his face changed.
"Dad...Yeah, I'm good. I...I didn't mean to make you and Kim worry. I just couldn't take Mom's mouth anymore. I guess you know that I'm over at Shaun's apartment. I had money saved up at home to come to our visit. No, he didn't know that I was coming out here. Dad if you want Mom to know then you'll have to call her, because I refuse to call. Okay...I'll talk to you later. Tell everyone that I'm okay. Bye!"
He got up and brought me the phone.
"Thanks for the use of the phone. I do smell pretty bad, huh?"
"Yeah...you are pretty stinky. Go take a shower! There are towels in the closet outside the bathroom. Jason will be home in an hour so hurry up."
He headed to the bathroom for his shower, and I sat on the bed and called Jason.
I didn't want Jason to come home and find a surprise house guest. He is very smart when it comes to his cell phone. It's always silent when he is in class, at work, or any other place where common sense says that it needs to be silenced. Sadly, it must muted now because he didn't answer the phone. Lucky me gets to talk to his voice mail.
"Jason, I didn't want you to come to a surprise. Joshua showed up at the door step a couple hours after you left for work. Love you babe!"
I hung up the phone and sat down with a book and started reading.
A half hour went with my nose in a book in silence. Joshua came out of the restroom looking so much better. He came over and sat down and about that time, Sasha came out of hiding. She seemed very interested in the stranger in her home. I sat my book down because I wanted to hear what happened to upset Mom so much.
"Joshua, I don't know if you want to talk to me or not, but I was wondering exactly what you did to upset Mom so much."
"Well, you are going to be an uncle. I made a mess of things. I got Erin pregnant. Keep in mind that she already has a 2 ½ year old that she had when we first started dating. She wanted to put him up for adoption, but I wouldn't let her. Her parents were in agreement with me. Mom found out about the pregnancy because I thought she deserved to know. I told her and Dad on the same night. Once I told her, she lashed out at me. Telling me, that I had disgraced the family and ruined my life, it's nonstop every day. Yeah, I admit that I blew it, but I'm trying to do the right thing. I even told Mom that and she said that she won't give her blessings to any marriage with that harlot. Mom has it in her mind that Erin is this prostitute. She isn't, in fact she is the nicest girl you'll ever meet. Mom just refuses to see it. Erin's not even allowed on the property. I'm not allowed to marry Erin, but I still have to provide for the baby. I told Mom that if I can't marry her then I won't be providing for my child, that just really got Mom pissed. One night when I just couldn't take it anymore, I went to see Erin. I told her what Mom said, and she flat out said that it's either marriage or nothing. At that point, I went home and told Mom what Erin said to me. She just said that she's looking for a daddy for that other child. I had to get out. Shaun, I... jus-just couldn't take it."
When he was done talking, Jason walked into the apartment. He came over to me and gave me a hug.
"So are you going to introduce me?"
"Guess, it's the polite thing to do right?"
He just smiled waiting for me to introduce him to Joshua.
"Josh, this guy is my room-mate, Jason. Jason, this handsome guy sitting next to me is my brother, Joshua."
Jason put his hand out to Joshua and they shook hands. He went right into the kitchen and started working on lunch. I was surprised that Joshua didn't make a comment on the hug.
"Hey guy, I am going to go lay down for a short nap."
"Shaun, is it okay if I call Erin?"
"By my guest, little brother, she needs to know that you're okay too."
I got up and went into the bedroom. Figured at best, I might have fifteen minutes to myself.
My nap couldn't have been any longer than fifteen minutes, but at least I feel refreshed. Jason had called, it was time for lunch. We're having grilled ham and provolone cheese sandwiches. Of course, it had to be interrupted. I got up to answer the phone and should have just left it unanswered.
"Mom, he's right here. Why didn't we call you? I told him to call you. NO...I didn't know he was coming so don't call me a liar..."
Josh pulled the phone away from my ear.
"Look... Mom, or maybe I should say Lori. My brother didn't know that I was coming to see him. You are the reason that I left. I just can't handle it anymore... you were constantly insulting me, my girlfriend, and my stepson. Yes Mom, Erin is my girlfriend and that little boy is my son. I won't lose them because of you. When will I stop being so angry with you? When you quit being a bitch to me... I just love you but I... I... I just don't know how I feel about you right now. I need to go."
Joshua clicked the phone off and he broke down again. He just kept repeating the words "I hate her" and "I won't lose them" over and over again. I could see a look of concern and anger come over my boyfriend. He took Joshua into the guest bedroom and started talking to him. They couldn't have been in there for too long when there was a knock at the door. We had completely forgotten about April coming over to visit. Joshua's sobbing could be heard in the living room so there was no way to really cover them up. April seemed a bit uncomfortable.
"April, a bunch of crap is going on in my family. The crying that you hear is my younger brother. He's going through a very rough time."
He took me by the hand and walked me into our bedroom and closed the door. I thought that maybe I was going to get a surprise quickie for being such a good big brother. I was wrong!
"Shaun, I think we should tell him. I think he deserves to know. Maybe, it would help him somehow."
"I don't know Jason. I would rather wait till he has a clearer head. Now just isn't the right time."
"If it doesn't happen now, then we'll have to wait until who knows when to tell him. I think it should be now before he puts two and two together."
At this point, I knew Jason was right. I didn't want my brother to accidently stumble across us or assume that he knows what's going on between Jason and me.
"Jason, I agree with you. How much money do we have in our account?"
"Why?"
"Well, I don't think our apartment is the right place for him. He needs to be back home so he can deal with this situation better. I'd like to bet my dad would help him out. All we have to do is ask."
Jason thought about it and then left the room long enough to grab the phone.
"Call!"
I dialed my dad's number. It seemed to take forever and Jason started to look a bit worried. It felt kind of unfair to leave April in the other room with my brother.
"Hey Dad, Shaun here. Look, I love having Joshua here, but under the circumstances do you think that you might be able to pay for his ticket home. Call me if there are any issues."
Now, I had to have a much more pressing talk with my kid brother. I left Jason in the room and went out to see Joshua.
By this time, Joshua was sitting on the couch with April. They seemed to be getting along just fine. I hate the idea of barging in on their discussion. Jason is right though, Joshua needs to know, as does the rest of my family. Still, I can't stop the feeling that no good will come out of telling him.
"April, I need to talk to my brother."
"Cool Shaun, we were just finishing up. You have a really nice brother here. I'm glad that I met him."
"Joshua, why don't we go into the guest bedroom."
"Okay!"
I made sure to call the bedroom the guest bedroom and not my Jason's room. Right now, I am sweating a bit. Why do I dread coming out to my family?
"So...what's going on big bro? You haven't talked to me like this since you decided to go against Mom's wishes and leave Utah for school."
"Joshua, do you notice anything about this room?"
He looked around the room for a few seconds before coming back to me.
"Yeah...someone likes snakes and has pet tarantulas. I mean, it's pretty clean. The bed is made which means that it's not your room. You didn't call me in here just to show me a clean bedroom. What hell is going on?"
I'm having such a hard time spitting this out.
I wonder if it will be this hard when I come out to Dad and Mom. Need to just get it over and tell Josh. Jason is right.
"Joshua, did you notice that Jason gave me a hug when he came in from work?"
He thought for a second and then he replied.
"Yeah... come to think about it I did, so are you trying to tell me something. OH!"
His light came on in his mind. No doubt about it, he knows that we are gay. Still, I need to vocalize it.
"Joshua, we are gay. Jason and I are boyfriends. Are you okay with us?"
His right hand patted me on the back, then he leaned in and gave me a hug.
"I guess both of us are going to hell together. Bro, I could careless that you love Jason. Just don't bring it my way, okay? So do the parents know yet?"
"No, but I need to tell them. On that note, please don't tell Mom and Dad. I want to do it in my own time."
"No problem Shaun! I'll keep my mouth closed."
Now, I need to talk to him about going home.
"Joshua, I love you dude and I'm glad you came to me to cool off, but..."
April came into the room with the phone. "Joshua, your dad is on the phone. He said to tell you that his name is David."
She left the room and went back to the couch with Jason. Joshua and I sat there while he started talking with Dad.
I hope Dad takes the time to tell Joshua that he wants him to come home with him.
"Hi Dad, what's up?"
"I'd love to come home. Is Mom going to be okay with me staying with you till things cool down?"
Joshua was smiling. I don't think he expected to be going home so soon. Now the question is, will he go home to Dad's house?
"Dad, I want your permission to marry Erin."
"No... I totally understand that you want to take things slow to see how things go with Mom."
"Are you sure that you can get her to see that we are doing the right thing?"
"I'll let Shaun know, thanks Dad."
He pushed end on the phone and then handed the phone to Jason.
"Shaun, Dad wanted me to tell you that he'll order the tickets tonight."
"Joshua, I know things are going to turn out okay for you. Now, I need to help Jason get dinner made."
I left the room and headed straight for the kitchen. Jason was already working on the pasta and April was busy working on the sauce. I've witnessed their pasta and it is incredible. To be honest, `incredible' doesn't do it justice at all. The rest of the evening was spent with April, Joshua and my boyfriend. We kicked back until around 9:00 pm.
Jason's POV
Working for Mr. Bowman is awesome. I love what I'm doing. I've had a few heart-pounding moments, mostly due to inexperience on my part. I don't know the exact story behind this collection, but it's a piece of work, that is for sure. He recently told me that for close to year he's been feeding all the critters in his private collection by himself, a task that takes me about 1 ½ to 2 hours to complete. I have to say, it is a lot of fun.
Today was supposed to be a day off. I wasn't even supposed to be working today, but he is getting ready for a show tomorrow and he wanted some extra help in gathering the live animals. He also wanted to spot check all the tanks. It gives him an idea of who's eating, who's molting and which males might be making sperm webs. We are also able to monitor for egg sacs. Of course, each area has to spot check too, as well as have someone on hand to assist with getting the animals together for the show. Today, someone's cell phone went off while they were working.
I find that to be really rude and distracting. Mine is either set on vibrate or turned off. I prefer it that way. Shaun says that I am way too cautious when it comes to my phone. I totally disagree with him. I'm just trying to show some decency when it comes to my phone. At work, it gets checked during my lunch, or sometimes I'll check it on a bathroom break. Today, I was busy from the time that I got there until the time I went home, so the phone didn't get checked till I was already at the car.
Opened up the phone and pushed the message button. Sure enough, there was one message. It's not uncommon for Shaun to call me and leave a short "I love you!" message. His message went like this:
"Jason, I didn't want you to come to a surprise. Joshua showed up at the door step a couple hours after you left for work. Love you babe!"
Well from what I've heard, I'm not surprised that Joshua left home. Still, I bet my lover is beside himself right now. I know the last time he had to be on the phone with his mom, it about drove him nuts. If she finds out that he's here, it will be hell all over again. Well I guess for Shaun's sake I had better get home. I closed up my phone and headed for home.
No idea what to expect when I do get home, but I know Joshua is in good hands. As I opened the apartment door, Shaun and Joshua were sitting on the couch. I didn't even think about Joshua not knowing about us and went straight to Shaun to give him a hug. I wonder what was going through his mind when I hugged him. Shaun was probably freaking out in fear that my hug would start Joshua's wheels turning. Oh well, I can't and won't break a habit like hugging my man when I come in the door. Wonder if Shaun will introduce us officially or not?
It took some coaxing but he did get around to letting us meet each other. I knew who Joshua was, but it's just good manners to introduce someone. I was impressed with Joshua. He was very clean, had no acne, and had a similar build as his brother. Although, no one is as handsome as my man, that might be pushing a bit, but oh well. After the introductions were made, I went into the guest bedroom really quick to make the bed and to double check on the plants and the animals. When the bedroom was spot checked, I went into the kitchen and made lunch. I was also aware that Shaun had given the okay for Joshua to call his girlfriend. I didn't want to listen in, but at the same time, I wanted to make sure that I could calm him down if need be.
I wanted to keep lunch simple today, so I did grilled ham and provolone cheese sandwiches with some apple slices and baby carrots. As I made the sandwiches, I kept close tabs on Joshua's call.
"Hey baby doll, how are you?"
I could tell that Joshua really loves his girlfriend. It was almost like hearing two different people. His voice actually got softer from the way it was earlier during our introduction.
"How is J.R. doing?"
J.R. hmmm...I need to remember to ask him about that name.
"Cool, has he asked where I've been?"
Whatever her response was made him a bit teary eyed.
"Just tell him that I'll be there with him pretty soon."
"Where am I? I'm out in Indiana with my brother and his room-mate. Mom was getting to me."
"Hey, I love you. Ohh... how is the baby doing?"
"AWESOME!! Don't worry I am not going to miss it, no matter what!"
"Well, tell J.R. that Joshie loves him. I will call him tomorrow. Bye Love!"
He hung up the phone and by that time the food was ready to eat.
"Lunch is on!"
It didn't take long for them to come to the table after washing their hands. Shaun had taken maybe four bites out of this sandwich and Joshua had taken three bites, when the phone rang. It always seems to happen when we're eating. Shaun got up and answered the phone so Joshua and I could finish our lunch.
"Mom, he's right here. Why didn't we call you? I told him to call you. NO... I didn't know he was coming so don't call me a liar..."
Once Joshua heard the treatment that his brother seemed to be getting from their mom, he yanked the phone away from him.
"Look... Mom, or maybe I should say Lori. My brother didn't know that I was coming to see him. You are the reason that I left. I just can't handle it anymore... you were constantly insulting me, my girlfriend, and my stepson. Yes Mom, Erin is my girlfriend and that little boy is my son. I won't lose them because of you. When will I stop being so angry with you? When you quit being a bitch to me... I just love you but I... I... I just don't know how I feel about you right now. I need to go."
The first thing that came to my mind was if I had called my mom by her first name, my dad would smack me. You didn't disrespect her or any other women in his presence. It just isn't done. Still, I understand where he is coming from. I had heard a bunch of this from Shaun already in the days prior to this, but I had no clue how Joshua felt. Now, I know for sure. The minute the phone was disconnected Joshua broke down in tears. At first he just cried and then he started mumbling.
"I hate her!!"
"I won't lose them"
During lunch, April had come into the apartment. Luckily, she is sort of use to the drama in this apartment. I leaned in and whispered to Joshua:
"Let's go to the bedroom!"
He did manage to get up and together we walked to the bedroom. I'm sure that I wasn't looking all that caring at the moment, but this guy was family. Family takes care of family no matter what. We sat down on the bed and I just let him cry for a few minutes. I think altogether he cried for a good ten minutes.
"Joshua, do you want to talk?"
He was quiet for a few seconds and then he wiped his tears away and started talking.
"My mom, Lori, has been doing this to me ever since she found out that Erin was pregnant with my child. No...no wait, she's been doing this since I started dating Erin, but has got worse since I got Erin pregnant."
"Does her starting on you have anything to do with J.R.? Sorry, I heard you mention him while I was making lunch."
"No reason to apologize, J.R. is Lori's son from a boyfriend who couldn't take no for an answer."
I wouldn't want to be in that situation.
"Mom feels like I'm wasting my time when I could be with someone who is still a virgin. Someone who hasn't decided to throw her life away, she doesn't get it. I really love Erin and I love J.R. Jason, when she found out that Erin was pregnant a second time and that the child was mine. She flat out slapped me. I flinched and in that split second, I almost decked her. If that had been Shaun, I would have taken him down. No doubt about it. It's pretty much been nonstop from her since then, and I just needed a break."
"I don't blame you for being upset with her, but you have to remember that she is from a different generation. I think she has good intentions, but for now, she certainly isn't thinking straight. From what I've heard, you're doing the right thing."
He looked at me a little startled as if he has never been told that before.
"You really think so?"
"No... I know so, you are trying to be a dad not just to your son or daughter, but to J.R. too, that takes a big man. Believe me, you put this much caring and attention into everything in your life and you'll go far."
"Thanks, bro!"
He reached out with his big hands and gave me a hug and a slap on the back.
"What do you think, are you ready to face the world again?"
"Yeah, I'm ready!"
We got up and went back out into the other room with April and Shaun.
As I looked at Shaun and then back at Joshua, I knew that he needed to know about his brother and about our relationship. He needed to hear from Shaun not from me, so I grabbed Shaun and we went into our bedroom.
"Shaun, I think we should tell him. I think he deserves to know. Maybe, it would help him somehow."
"I don't know Jason. I would rather wait till he has a clearer head. Now just isn't the right time."
"If it doesn't happen now, then we'll have to wait until who knows when to tell him. I think, it should be now before he puts two and two together."
I knew he really didn't want to tell his brother right now, but it was either tell him now or wait. We have the opportunity to do it now, so why not?
"Jason, I agree with you. How much money do we have in our account?"
"Why?"
"Well, I don't think our apartment is the right place for him. He needs to be back home so he can deal with this situation better. I'd like to bet my dad would help him out. All we have to do is ask."
It didn't register right away but once it did, there was no holding back. I went out into the living room and grabbed the phone.
"Call!"
We had to do something here. Joshua would get nowhere if he stayed here with us.
"Hey Dad, Shaun here. Look, I love having Joshua here, but under the circumstances do you think that you might be able to pay for his ticket home. Call me if there are any issues."
After leaving the message Shaun went out and got Joshua.
"So... what's going on big bro? You haven't talked to me like this since you decided to go against Mom's wishes and leave Utah for school."
"Joshua, do you notice anything about this room?"
Sometimes, my boyfriend can be so indirect. It's his way of not having to actually say the words. Not really, he just gets nervous and that is his way of getting the subject moving. In the direction that he wants it too.
"Yeah...someone like snakes and has pet tarantulas. I mean, it's pretty clean. The bed is made, which means that it's not your room. You didn't call me in here just to show me a clean bedroom. What hell is going on?"
"Joshua, did you notice that Jason gave me a hug when he came in from work?"
"Yeah... come to think about it I did, so are you trying to tell me something. OH!"
I guess he saw the hug, but didn't put two and two together.
"Joshua, we are gay. Jason and I are boyfriends. Are you okay with us?"
I sat there and watched Joshua hug his brother and kind of felt left out. Even though I felt a bit jealous, I was glad to have this part of Shaun's coming out go so well.
"I guess both of us are going to hell together. Bro, I could careless that you love Jason. Just don't bring it my way, okay? So do the parents know yet?"
"No, but I need to tell them. On that note, please don't tell Mom and Dad. I want to do it in my own time."
"No problem Shaun! I'll keep my mouth closed."
"Joshua, I love you dude and I'm glad you came to me to cool off, but..."
All of sudden the door opened up and April was standing there with the phone in her hand.
"Hi Dad, what's up?"
"I'd love to come home. Is Mom going to be okay with me staying with you till things cool down?"
It was great seeing Joshua talking with his dad. This was a much different conversation from the one he had with his mom.
"Dad, I want your permission to marry Erin."
"No...I totally understand that you want to take things slow to see how things go with Mom."
"Are you sure that you can get her to see that we are doing the right thing?"
"I'll let Shaun know, thanks Dad."
Joshua ended the call and gave me the phone. Deciding that the brothers might need a chance to talk, I left the room and hung up the phone.
"Shaun, Dad wanted me to tell you that he'll order the tickets tonight."
It wasn't quite time for dinner, but we could get the ingredients together and then combine them when it was time to eat. April came over just to help me make this great pasta dish that we sort of half way discovered. It's pasta with chicken in this very awesome tomato sauce that really kicks ass. Sorry it's a top secret recipe.