JC and the Actor, Chapter 16, Copyright 2003
The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
Questions? Comments? Limericks? Send them my way, I love hearing from all of you...mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
The author would like it to be known that he has never milked a cow, nor does he ever intend to do so. He apologizes for any inaccuracies regarding the work of dairy farmers. With that being said, enjoy Nate and JC, as they enjoy life on the farm.
Chapter 16
"Your brother?" JC questioned, standing up and walking over to me. "Didn't you say you were an only child?"
"I am," I answered quickly. "I was."
"Come on down," my mom called. JC was still waiting for me to explain.
"I'll have to tell you about it later," I said, heading toward the door. JC gave me a strange look, but followed me out.
When we got down to the dining room, I immediately saw my father and Edward sitting at the table, my father at the head, Edward to his right. They both stood up when we entered and my father hurried over to hug me.
"Hi Nathan," Edward said, waving his hand from behind my dad in greeting. I said hello to him over my dad's shoulder and then saw his eyes dart over to JC.
"I guess I don't need to introduce you to him," I said to Edward, gesturing over to JC. Edward smiled at him nervously and went over to shake his hand.
"It's really great to meet you," Edward said.
"Thanks, man, you too," JC replied, giving Edward a strange handshake that only someone of Edward's age would know how to follow. It occurred to me that despite JC being a year older than I was, his career and lifestyle had in many ways kept him much younger. My father finished hugging me and I introduced him to JC, whom he greeted warmly. My mom came into the room and we all sat down to eat. JC sat next to me and I was thankful that my mother quickly started polite dinner conversation, eliminating the possibility of any awkward silences. I could tell that JC was making a real effort to engage Edward in conversation, despite not knowing who he was, and before long the two of them were babbling on about different bands and songs they liked. I didn't speak that much to my father, but then again, I never really did.
When dinner was over my mom stood up and asked me to help her with the dishes. JC, Edward and my dad all moved to help as well, but my mom told them all to stay put, staring at me intently before she headed into the kitchen. I followed, knowing that I was going to be yelled at, and feeling very much like I was thirteen.
"What's up mom?" I asked putting some dishes into the sink.
"Joshua has no idea who Edward is, does he?" she said sternly.
"No," I said, casting my eyes on the floor.
"This is ridiculous Nathaniel, you can't keep acting this way. Not only is it not good for you, but you have to think about what you are doing to Edward."
"What am I doing to him? I have to tell everyone I meet about him?"
"He's your brother!" my mom said. She was clearly aggravated.
"He's not my brother," I answered.
"You don't even know how much he looks up to you, do you? How much he wishes he was important to you."
"I'm always nice to the kid," I answered back. "I don't owe him anything."
"Did you see the look on his face when he realized that he was the first one to be telling Joshua that he was going to Dartmouth in the fall? He realized that you never even talk about him." I shrugged, feeling a bit like a jerk. "And," she continued, "Since you're dating a famous musician, you think you may have wanted to mention to him that your brother is an accomplished pianist?"
"Mom, do you know what else I have to tell people if I talk about Edward?" I asked, thinking I could back her down.
"Everyone in this town already knows, Nathaniel. And I don't care if the whole world does. What I chose to do is my business and if I say all is forgiven, then so should you."
"Mom, it's one thing if you're completely comfortable with all of this, and I guess I'm glad that you're able to live this way, but I can't forgive and forget. Edward's just a symbol of everything that's wrong with this family."
"And you've really done a great job of making sure he knows it." She shook her head at me and went back into the dining room to collect more plates. I stood there for a moment, wondering how I had gone from what I thought was perfection, to a person who just pissed people off and made them feel bad about themselves.
We all moved into the living room for coffee and dessert. Edward and JC sat on one of the couches, and my mom and dad sat on the other, leaving me to sit in one of the armchairs. JC was asking Edward about his high school, and I heard Edward make a joke, saying that all of the girls in his class would kill themselves if they knew the circumstances he had met JC under.
"I used to think I should be straight out of obligation to the fans," JC laughed, somewhat embarrassed as he looked around to note people's reactions. I could tell that he was surprised that my parents laughed along with him and Edward. My parents may have had some problems, but they were true liberals, and were honestly not impressed or shocked at the actual mention of our being gay.
I sat there, looking at the four people sitting in front of me, thinking that I should be enjoying myself, that I should be enjoying the fact that I had a warm and happy family. But there were lingering resentments and betrayals that I just couldn't get passed, and all I really wanted to do was leave. I felt like a fool for thinking that I would have fun this weekend. Sure I came up here with the intention of showing JC a good time, and he certainly was, but I hadn't really contemplated Edward showing up and all the memories he would bring back to me.
"I'm really tired," I said standing up. "I think I'm going to hit the sack."
"Oh," JC said, apparently noticing me for the first time tonight. "You know, I'm really tired too."
"You boys should both go to bed," my mom said. "You've both been working really hard."
"I should be getting Edward back home anyway," my dad added. We all stood up and said goodbye and goodnight to each other. Edward walked over to me, brushing his blond hair out of his eyes.
"It was nice to see you again Nathan. I hope I didn't spoil your homecoming."
My mother quickly turned around and glared at me when she overheard him, so I immediately responded, "Don't be silly, Edward. It was really nice to see you too." I shook his hand and headed up the stairs. I heard JC say goodnight to Edward, and then he was following behind me.
We didn't really talk as we entered my room and stripped to our boxers. I pulled on a t-shirt, as did he, and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. JC followed and was soon brushing alongside me. I was content not really saying anything, but apparently JC was not.
"That's a really great brother you have there," he said, his mouth full of foam.
"Yeah," I grumbled.
"He's really smart. Not to mention really cute." I looked at him strangely. "What?" he asked. "He's like a shorter, blond version of you." I shook my head and started to rinse out my mouth. "Of course," he continued, "the only reason I could tell that he was your brother was because he and your father have the exact same eyes that you do. Certainly nothing you said to him would suggest that you two were related."
"Oh God, now you're going to start in on me? You don't even know what's going on."
"Well, I may not have gone to college, but I can kind of piece things together, Nate. Don't you want to tell me what's up?"
"Not really," I answered, walking back into the bedroom. JC followed me and closed the door behind him.
"Nate, talk to me. You've been miserable since dinner, and as someone who loves you, I'd like to make you feel better if I can."
"Josh," I began, sitting down on the bed, wondering if I had the energy to explain all of this. "Edward is the product of an affair my dad had when I was like nine."
"Oh, ok," JC said quietly, walking over to sit next to me.
"My mom and I didn't know at the time. We didn't know until I was seventeen, when my dad found out that Edward's mother was sick. Apparently he had nothing to do with Edward up until that point, aside from sending monthly child-support payments to him. But when he realized that Edward's mom was going to die, I guess he couldn't live with the secret anymore, so he told my mom about the affair."
"What did she do?" JC asked, his arm slowly making its way around me."
"She flipped out in the beginning," I continued. "She kicked him out of the house, had divorce papers filed, the whole thing."
"And then?"
"And then she changed her mind. She forgave my dad and started thinking about what was best for Edward. She wanted Edward to come live with us, but he didn't really even know my dad at the time. He wanted to live with his grandmother who lives in town."
"He was just a baby," JC said.
"I know, and it's not as though I blame him for anything. I'm not nuts. But all I can remember from that time was the most incredible feeling of betrayal I had ever experienced. Not even Mark had made me feel that way. I guess that's why I flipped out so badly when I found out he had been lying to me."
"Lies do tear people apart," JC said.
"I had always looked at my dad as some type of superhero. He had everything. A perfect wife, a perfect child, the perfect house and career, and, well, to find out that he had been willing to risk it all, it just destroyed me. It made me think that the picture I had of my life was some big joke." My eyes started filling up with tears and JC tightened his grip around me.
"It still bothers you this much so, many years later?" he asked sympathetically.
"Josh, when I was in high school I tortured myself because I knew I could never have the life that my father did. I knew I would never get married and have children, at least not in the way that he could. And that killed me, feeling like I couldn't have the great life that he could. Then to find out that the man I so admired was someone I would never want to be, well, that was just impossible to deal with."
"So what did that, I mean, what did you do?"
I wiped the tears out of my eyes and looked at him. His eyes were so warm and caring. "I just checked out. I couldn't understand how my mom could forgive him, and I certainly didn't want to welcome a new brother into the family. I got permission from my school to double up on my classes, and I graduated early. I got into college in New York and by the summer I was gone. I've never really lived home again since."
"Nate, I'm so sorry," JC said, his hand rubbing up and down my back. I had avoided crying, but was still feeling quite emotional.
"It's stupid, I know that I should just get over it, that I should forgive and forget, but I've never had the chance to really deal with it, and now I feel like it's just too late."
"Don't you think you should tell your father how you feel? Maybe he could say something that could relieve the pain you feel and heal your relationship."
"I don't know if I really care to at this point. I do feel bad about Edward though. The kid is so nice and he doesn't even know who I am. He just thinks of me as the rightful son, and I know that he really likes my dad, which makes him think that I must not like him."
"You have to talk to him," JC said. "You have to let him know that he is as much a victim as you were. He doesn't even have his mother anymore."
"I know," I sighed, lying back on the bed. "It's not like I've done anything active to hurt anyone. I just don't come up here that much anymore. When I used to, they would just keep Edward away from me so as not to upset me. But as the years have gone by, he's become part of their family, more than I have I guess."
"Nate," JC started, looking down on me. "I'm not in any position to tell you what to do with respect to your parents, I just hate to see the kid be upset because he wishes he had more of a family."
"I'm really not a nice person am I?"
"Are you kidding?" JC laughed. "I think you're so hyper-sensitive that you just can't risk you being hurt yourself. It's probably what makes you such a great actor." He kissed my cheek and brushed his hand through my hair.
"Well, that's a way to put a positive spin on it," I smiled. He laid down next to me and we turned ourselves around until we were in bed and under the covers. I put my head on his chest, hearing the familiar sound of his heartbeat.
"Men who cheat suck," JC said quietly, his hand playing with my hair. "But your dad was really nice, maybe he is truly sorry."
"I think he is. My mom obviously thinks so." I pressed myself closer to him, smelling his light scent. I lightly kissed his chest through his shirt and heard him give a soft sigh. "Josh," I said softly. "Maybe if we're real quiet..." There was no response. I looked up at him and saw that he was sound asleep.
"Wake up, Josh," I called from across the room. I was already dressed and laughed to myself as I watched him roll over and push his head under the pillow.
"Too early," he groaned. "You must have read how much I like to sleep."
I tossed some old clothes on the bed. "Put these on, you're gonna get plenty dirty today."
"You know what happened the last time we said that was going to happen?"
"Come on, Josh, the cows are waiting." I went downstairs to find my mom already up and making coffee. I took a cup and looked out the kitchen window, happy at the sight of the fields behind the house.
"Does Joshua know that we don't do the actual farming around here?" she asked.
"Yeah, I told him that we hired help, but I want him to get the full experience."
My mom poured two cups of coffee, took a cup in each hand, and moved to go back upstairs. "Well, don't be too hard on him," she said.
"Mom, I'm sorry about last night," I heard myself say suddenly. "I'm going to make a big effort to move past all this stuff."
She turned around to face me. "I'm glad to hear that," she said. "But why the sudden change?"
"I talked to Josh about it last night, and telling him kind of made it seem like not such a big deal anymore."
She laughed a bit and shook her head at me. "So what I've been trying to convince you of for the past eight years, Joshua did in one evening?"
I smiled and sipped my coffee. "I guess so."
"Interesting," she said, amused and a bit sarcastic. She passed by JC on her way out of the room, wishing him a good morning. He looked a bit more disheveled than I was used to seeing him. His hair was messed up and my old jeans and t-shirt hung a bit large on him, making him look particularly boyish.
He yawned and stretched his hands behind his head. "So, where do we start?"
I told him to sit down and we ate breakfast. When we finished we headed out back to go find Jim, who was the main overseer of our farm since I was little. Jim was now in his late 30s, and still ruggedly handsome. We came upon him seeding the soil to produce more grazing grass. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his burly, hairy-blond forearms that always got me a little more excited than I could let on.
"Hey Nat!" he called; dropping the bag he was holding and coming over to meet us. Jim radiated good health and strength. I shook his hand and introduced him to JC.
"So, you boys want to help out today I hear," he said, flashing his pearly white teeth.
"I want to show Josh how to milk a cow," I laughed. JC looked a bit embarrassed, so I turned and said, "What?" He just laughed and continued to look at Jim.
"Well, if you want you guys can help me finish seeding this area, then you can go milk a few cows in the stable." Jim turned and went back to the area he was working in.
"Damn," JC whispered.
"Tell me about it," I sighed.
"That's uh, one sexy cowboy you got there."
"You know what it was like to be a teenager, and see that go riding by from your bedroom window, all sweaty and on a tractor?"
"You must have been wiping down your windowsill a lot," he laughed.
"Ewww," I squealed, poking him in the ribs. "Not necessarily untrue, but ewww." We each took a bag of seed and started pouring them over the exposed soil. The bags were quite heavy and all of us were quickly sweating in the late June sun. At one point Jim pulled his shirt off, revealing his muscular chest, made hard from actual labor and not from a gym. I saw JC's eyes move toward him like he was a magnet. I coughed in a very loud and fake way, getting JC's attention.
"He's married!" I mouthed silently from across the field. JC laughed at me and gave me a wink. He picked up one of the rakes and started to mimic how Jim was turning the soil. I did the same, but apparently I was actually doing it correctly because a few minutes later I saw Jim drop his rake and walk over to JC. He leaned over JC's body, taking his rake in his hands, and coached him through the right movements to make with it. JC looked like he was clearly enjoying the man-on-man contact, at one point looking up and giving me another flirtatious wink. He was trying to tease me and I knew it.
I walked over to him after Jim had gone back to his own rake, and asked him if he was enjoying himself.
"I could use a cigarette after that," he said, pretending to stare longingly at Jim.
"I guess I now know where the inspiration for 'Space Cowboy' came from."
"Don't worry," JC laughed. "Even though I could feel his bare skin against my arms and the sweat of his chest falling on my back, you're still my guy."
"Thanks babe," I said dryly.
"Besides, you said he's straight, right?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I 'oh so casually' brought my hand to his side, pinching him firmly.
"Ouch!" he said, pulling away from me. "I bet Jim wouldn't be that rough with me."
"Jim!" I called, ignoring the great lengths JC was going to in order to amuse me. "We're going to the stable." Jim waved and I led JC away. He had seen enough of Jim for a while.
"Ok, so you take the udder like this, and then you just pinch it."
"I'd punch you if you ever did that to me," JC laughed.
"Well, luckily you're not a cow, now watch and learn smart ass." JC was in such a good mood that I wondered if there was something true about the advantages to clean air and open spaces. He watched from behind me, making noises like he was in pain every time I grabbed the cow's udder. After I had gotten all of the milk out of one udder, I told him it was his turn and directed him onto the stool I had been sitting on.
"Sorry mam," he said, patting the cow on its side. Very apprehensively he took a hold of an udder and started pulling on it.
"Uh, Josh, is that what you saw me doing?"
"No," he responded. I leaned over and placed my hand over his, showing him how to get the milk out. Once he seemed to have it, I took my hand away. He then, almost immediately proceeded to squirt milk all over himself.
"Yuck!" he yelped, jumping up and tugging at his soaked shirt. "That cow just jizzed all over me." He looked like he was done with this part of the chores.
"Josh, it's just milk," I laughed.
"In a carton in the grocery store it's milk! Coming out of one of those things it's jizz." I couldn't stop laughing seeing how grossed out he was. "Look," he began. "I promise I'll continue with whatever else we have to do, but can I please go take a shower?"
"Ok," I said. While my shirt wasn't covered in milk, we were both really sweaty and a shower did sound good. Besides, I was doing this for JC to have fun, not to torture him.
We headed back toward the house and I noticed that my dad's car was gone. I called out to both my parents, but received no response.
"I guess they went into town," I said. We were both at the bottom of the stairs when I said this and in almost complete synchronization our heads turned toward each other. JC smiled at me and we started running up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door behind me and jumped on top of JC, who was already on the bed. There was an urgency that I don't think either of us had felt before. Suddenly, smells and sweat didn't seem to matter.
Our mouths and tongues attacked each other with ferocity. Neither of us had shaved and his stubble felt a bit painful, but wildly erotic. Maybe our faces would be red soon, but at the moment I didn't really care.
Not being able to have sex for over a month with the man you were most attracted to in the world was not easy. Aside from the intense pleasure I was feeling, was also the feeling of regret that I had not been able to enjoy this all along. I stopped kissing JC only to pull his shirt off over his head, and then our lips were back against each other. I felt his arms sliding underneath my shirt and up my back, and I sat up quickly to pull it off. Our chests touched and I thought I was going to cum from the sensation.
"I missed you so much," JC mumbled through our kisses.
"Same here," I replied. My legs slipped in between his and I could feel his cock hard as a rock beneath me.
"I need you so bad," he sighed as my mouth left his and fastened on his taught neck.
"I'm here, I'm here," I panted, licking the salt off of him as I made my way down his chest. His arms lifted and he grasped the headboard behind him as I started sucking on his nipples, causing him to moan in delight. I looked up briefly to see his arms flexed, thinking that there were few sights as hot as a naked man with his hands behind his head.
My tongue traveled down his stomach, past his bellybutton to where his jeans began. I brushed my nose against the tiny hairs on his stomach before I unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down under his ass. There was a sizable bulge in his boxer briefs and the tip of his cock was snaking out of the top of them. I pressed my tongue against it and he moaned, grabbing the headboard tighter. I pulled down his boxers and found what I had been desperately missing for over a month. His long, pale cock, with its perfect head and slight curve was at full attention, and I wasted no time in devouring it. I told myself not to gag as I took it down to its base, feeling his pubes tickle my face and smelling his manly scent. He smelled of sweat, of cut grass and hay, and while I didn't know if I would care for that in an hour, at the moment it was driving me wild.
I sucked him up and down for a while, then grabbed his cock by its base and started licking it like it was a lollipop.
"Ohhh!" he moaned after a few minutes. "I'm not going to last if you keep that up." I let go of his cock and moved down to his balls, taking them one at a time into my mouth. His legs pressed together underneath me, and I pulled them apart, licking the inside of his thighs and pushing my face into his ball sack, licking anything I came into contact with.
"I wanna suck you," JC called from above me. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Ok," I said. I sat up and got off the bed quickly to take my shoes and pants off. I removed the rest of his clothes and then hopped back up, getting into a 69 position. I felt him grab my hard cock and guide it into his mouth as I engulfed his own once again. The bed was creaking like crazy, and I was reminded of my youth for a moment. JC pushed me so that we on our sides, giving him easier access to my cock. His tongue felt like a velvet rope as I felt it gliding up and down the underside of my cock. JC's lips formed a tight seal around my cock, creating a small cavern where his tongue had free reign. The sensations were all too familiar, yet all too distant.
I was concentrating on the sensitive part of his cock, the area just under the head when I felt his finger slide into the crack of my ass and find my hole. "Ohhh," I moaned as his finger pushed against my wrinkled entrance. His finger made its way in slightly and I started rocking back and forth against it, sucking his cock more and more fiercely, and grabbing his own ass cheeks.
After a few minutes he removed his finger and pulled his mouth off my cock. "I can't take it anymore," he panted. "You have to fuck me. I need you inside me." He sat up and soon we were both on our knees, kissing passionately and stroking each other's cocks.
"Did you bring stuff?" I asked him. He looked at me seriously and I quickly said, "Of course you did."
"In the little pocket of my bag," he said, lying down on his back. I went over to his bag and retrieved a condom and found a tiny, travel-sized bottle of lubricant.
"You're so organized Josh," I said, getting back on the bed and unwrapping the condom.
"Come on stud," he laughed. "Fuck me." With the condom in place, I lubed up my cock and brought my hand to his inviting hole. "Don't worry about getting me ready, just give it to me," he said. He grabbed the headboard once again and I place his legs up on my shoulders. His ass turned up toward me and I could see his lovely wrinkled hole, surrounded by a faint ring of hair. I moved my very hard cock into position and pressed it into him. It was met with a bit more resistance than I was used to and I had to push a bit harder to pop the head through.
"Ahhh," JC moaned, feeling something inside him for the first time in a long time.
"You ok?" I asked, hoping he wanted more.
"Oh yeah, everything's perfect," he sighed. I pushed further into him and before long my cock was fully up his ass, and fucking him slowly. I had been resisting the urge to cum since we had begun this encounter, and being inside him was almost making it impossible to hold back. I brought JC's knees up closer to his chest and started to increase my pace, much to his delight. "You're so fucking hot," he called to me, watching the muscles in my arms and chest tighten above him. My cock was plunging in and out of his hole, causing him to moan wildly each time I reentered him. I was nearing the point of no return, watching his cock bounce up and down underneath me, when I felt him move his hands from the headboard and try to sit up.
"Move on your back," he told me. I pulled out of him and rolled over. He straddled my cock, facing toward my feet. I grabbed the base of my cock as he lowered himself down onto it, moaning softly the entire time. His already open ass engulfed my cock and he began to rock back and forth. I laid there for a while, content, watching my cock slide in and out of his ass, watching the muscles in his back twitch as he stroked his own cock.
Then, he laid back against me until his back was flush against my chest. He bent his knees slightly on either side of me and began fucking himself on my cock, using his feet for leverage. The extreme body contact was driving me wild, and I concentrated on the sounds of my cock sliding in and out of his ass. "Oh yeah, oh yeah," he moaned, one of his hands reached above him until it was grasping me behind my head. I stared at the bulge of his bicep and inhaled his scent. His other hand wrapped around his long cock, and he started jerking himself off. My hands cupped his pecs, kneading them, and rolling his nipples in-between my fingers. JC was fucking himself hard against me and I was meeting his hungry thrusts with my own.
"Yeah," JC cried out. "Fuck me, fuck me!"
"I'm gonna shoot," I panted.
"Do it," JC responded. He started working my cock even faster and I could feel him quicken the pace on his own cock. My need to cum was overwhelming, and I was practically whining as I felt my balls tighten in preparation for my orgasm. I could actually feel the cum shooting out of me, and it didn't feel like it was going to stop any time soon. I was twitching beneath him releasing my pent up load, thinking that I had lost all control of my body.
JC started groaning even louder and I felt his ass tighten around my cock before he began to cum himself. "Oh fuck," he yelled as the cum ripped out of him. I managed to look above him and saw load after load pump out of him. The first few really got some distance, hitting him on the shoulders and even a bit on his face. He continued pumping his cock, until his chest was literally covered in cum. The cum on his shoulder dripped off of him and I felt it warmly land on my chest. He slowly started to stop moaning and slowly stopped rocking himself on my cock, which was now feeling painfully sensitive.
"Oh man," he sighed, releasing the grip he had kept on my head and resting against me. "What a mess."
"That was a long time coming," I whispered, nibbling at his earlobe.
"We really have to work on our schedules," he laughed. We were quite a sight. Disheveled, sweaty, covered in cum. He looked up at me and smiled. "Guess we didn't do the whole celibacy in New Hampshire thing."
"Did you really think I was going to have the will power to resist you?" We lay like this for a while, waiting for our heart rates to return to normal. JC eventually sat up and slowly pulled himself off of me. My cock slapped against my stomach and I noticed the giant load inside of it.
"Ok," JC started. "Now we really have to shower."
"I must agree," I said, sitting up and turning away. I gathered up a few tissues and pulled off the condom.
"Um, Nate?"
"Yeah?"
"Did I just hear a car pull up?"
"Shit," I yelled. It was one thing for my parents to know we were sleeping together. It was quite a different thing for them to actually see it. "Ok, you go shower in my bathroom, and I'll run down the hall and shower in my parent's room."
"Roger," JC laughed picking up his bag and slowly sticking his head out the door. "I think the coast is clear." We both ran out in different directions, both bare-ass naked.
"That was fun," JC called as I neared the end of the hall.
"Absolutely," I called back, running into the bathroom and turning on the shower.
To be continued