Jc and the Actor

JC and the Actor, Chapter 29, Copyright 2004 ----------

The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.

Hello, and welcome to what I like to think of as the fifth season of "JC and the Actor." I can't believe it has lasted this long. It most certainly wouldn't have were it not for the interest of all of the readers out there. Thanks to everyone for your continued support. Please continue to send your thoughts, comments and criticisms to mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

Chapter 29

I was to find out later that JC had emailed Edward when he learned of our planned meeting on television. JC had given Edward instructions to accompany me to the studio, and then to make arrangements for our meeting in the car. I think JC had planned on surprising me with some dramatic proclamation, but when he saw me, all he could do was react.

"You still want me, don't you?" he asked, still holding onto me but looking me straight in the eyes.

"Josh," I was practically purring. "Of course I do. I've always wanted you. Only you." I leaned forward and kissed him again, feeling more complete and secure than I had perhaps ever felt.

"The tour is over," he said in between kisses. "We don't have to be apart anymore. I'll go with you when you make your movies, and you can come with me if I ever go on the road again."

"Ever?" I asked. "Are you retiring?"

"I don't know," he said, his speech very rushed. "I just want a break from it all. I just want to be with you." A funny image came into my mind. I imagined coming home from a long day at the office to find JC sweeping the floors and preparing dinner. I almost started to laugh. Something told me life wasn't going exactly going to be like that.

"I have to leave for LA next week," I said, noticing that the car had started up at some point and that we were headed toward my apartment.

"I know, Edward told me," JC said. "I'll have someone ready my house for us." I jumped in my seat at the thought of being back at JC's house in LA. There were certainly bad memories associated with the place, but all of my experiences there with JC were completely magical.

"Josh, I can't tell you how sorry I am about everything. I wish I could make you understand."

JC interrupted our kissing to place his index finger against my lips. "I don't need any more explanations," he said. "I trust you." He kissed me. "I trust you." I felt like I was going to cry again. I knew that he could trust me, but part of me still wondered if I deserved his trust.

The car arrived at my building and it occurred to me that for the first time in almost five months, I was truly happy. Josh and I hopped out of the car and the driver handed JC a small bag that he must have thrown together in his haste leaving Germany.

"Wow," he said, looking at the building's façade and into the lobby. "You're really moving up in the world."

"Thanks," I laughed. "Come on, I can't wait to show you the place." There were a few people in the lobby and a few in the elevator as we made our way to the penthouse. Given the pretentiousness of the building the residents couldn't admit it, but I could tell they all recognized the man I was with.

"It's beautiful Nate," JC said, surveying the premises. "Where's the furniture?"

"I'm working on it," I said, leading him through the different rooms. "Josh," I said, stopping short. "Where's Edward?"

"He told me that he was going to go back to school. He said he had an exam to study for."

"I can't believe he set me up today," I laughed, wondering if he was ok.

"I'm just glad he checks his email as often as he does," JC said. "I'm glad you've been spending more time with him. Are you finding out that you have more in common than you thought?" he asked.

"You have no idea," I said, showing him into the library.

"You're probably really hungry?"

"Starving."

"Do you want me to make dinner?"

JC smiled. "It's been a while since you've done that."

"I'll have to run to the market, but it won't take me long."

"This is just like old times," JC said, pulling off his jacket.

"You look tired, Josh, why don't you take a nice hot bath?"

"Hmm," he hummed, shifting his eyes around. "Not a bad idea." He squinted his eyes and looked at me closely. "You, on the other hand, look quite well rested," he laughed.

"Oh shit," I said, feeling my face. I still had the makeup on from being on television.

"You might want to wash that off before you go," he said.

"Josh, we're in Chelsea. Do you really think anyone would be impressed?" I washed it off anyway and headed out into the cold. I called Edward while I was out and thanked him for doing what he did today. He sounded like he was very happy for JC and I, but I knew in some way it must have made him think about his own confusing feelings. I told him once again to call if he wanted to talk about anything, but he assured me that he was fine and told me to enjoy my evening. I didn't even notice the cold as I walked around, warmed by my profound happiness. This had to be right. This had to be love. As much as I thought I had loved Mark, I never felt in two years what I was feeling at this moment, simply picking out vegetables.

I arrived back at the apartment to find JC walking out of my bedroom, my gray robe around him. "I don't really have that many clothes with me," he smiled, pulling the belt tighter around his slim waist.

"That's ok," I said with a wink. "Clothes are definitely optional for the next few days."

Preparing and having dinner was a very talkative experience. Each of us spoke rapidly, trying to get the other one up to date with everything that had been going on in our lives. I told him stories about finishing the film, and he told me about the randomly weird things that happened while on tour in Europe.

"Justin is probably pissed that you came back to me," I said, sipping my water.

"Justin's not my father," JC said. "He means well, but I think he sometimes forgets that I'm older than him and that I can take care of myself." He looked at me for a moment. "He'll come around though. I'm sure you two can become friends again."

"We'll see," I said, knowing my stubbornness was going to make that very difficult.

"So does that fireplace in your bedroom work?" JC asked, raising his eyebrows.

"That's what they tell me," I answered.

"I notice you have wood," he said. He didn't mean to say it with innuendo, but he quickly realized that it could be taken that way, and he started to laugh.

"Uh, yeah," I laughed back. I collected the dishes and brought them into the kitchen. We retired to the bedroom where I set about starting a fire.

"We're going to end up burning the building down," JC said, keeping his distance. Luckily, I seemed to have everything under control and soon we were sitting on the floor in front of it, enjoying its warmth and light.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked him after a while.

"I'd be more comfortable over there," he said, pointing toward the bed.

"Well let's get in then," I smiled, helping him off the ground. He was pretending that it was very difficult for him and eventually he pulled me down to the ground on top of him, laughing and kissing me.

"Ok, funny man, let's just go to bed."

"Yes sir," he said, standing up quickly with perfect posture. He climbed under the covers, still in my robe, and pulled back the comforter for me. I pulled off my shirt and took off my jeans. Seeing him stare at my body in the light from the fire, I suddenly felt shy for some reason, and I ended up going over to my dresser and pulling on a t-shirt before climbing into bed next to him. He quickly laid his head against my chest, continuing to watch the fire. I ran my fingers through his hair, noticing that it was longer and curlier than it had been the last time I saw him.

"Josh, I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and realize that this was all a dream, am I?" I asked him. There was no answer, and for a second I wondered if was going to realize it was all a dream right now. I looked down to see JC still lying on my chest. "Josh?" I said again quietly. He exhaled loudly and shifted slightly. He was sound asleep. I smiled to myself, adjusted the pillow behind my head, and closed my eyes. It was the best sleep I had ever had.

I awoke to find that not much had changed since I had fallen asleep. JC's head was still on my chest, and he continued to sleep as though he hadn't slept in a month. Thinking about it some more, I wondered if that was basically the truth. I had to get out of the bed, but I didn't want to wake him, so I tried to ease myself out by slowly moving my body to the right. Just as I had broken free and was noticing the pain in my chest from having JC's weight on it all night, two big blue eyes opened up and looked at me with interest.

"Good morning," JC said sleepily.

"Sorry," I said, feeling bad for waking him. "I had to go to the bathroom." JC reached out his hand and grabbed mine, squeezing it gently. He withdrew it and tucked it under the pillow, closing his eyes again. I smiled and walked into the bathroom.

I looked into the mirror, still smiling, thinking that I pretty much had it all, wondering if I really deserved it. JC had every right never to talk to me again, but in the end he had decided that he would rather be with me than without me, despite my flaws. It didn't seem like he was going to hold the affair against me for the rest of my life, and I was really quite overwhelmed with what an admirable and respectful person he was. I didn't know how he had arrived at this decision, and I didn't think I ever would, but I was willing to spend my life making sure he didn't regret it. "My God," I said out loud. I think for the first time I was comfortable with the idea of knowing I would be with someone for the rest of my life. I had grown up a lot in the past few months, and faced many challenges. I did feel that my affair was, at least in part, a result of fear that life was going to become routine. After everything I had been through, I learned that routine would be a very welcome and rewarding change of pace.

I intended to just brush my teeth, but after staring at myself in the mirror for so long, I decided that I should take a shower. I didn't know what JC would feel up to this morning, but I wanted to make sure everything was perfect, including me. I showered, shaved, moisturized, buffed, spackled, sanded and whatever else I determined to be necessary. I fixed my hair, and when I was finally finished, I entered my dressing room through the connecting door and put on a pair of jeans and a pullover shirt.

I entered the bedroom to find JC sitting up in the bed, looking at me strangely. "What?" I asked, walking toward him.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"No."

"Well you look like you are going somewhere. You've been in there for like an hour."

"I have?" I asked, totally shocked. "But I just went in there to use the bathroom and to brush my teeth."

"Well you obviously did a little more that that," he laughed, pointing to my clothes and my impeccable grooming.

"Oh," I blushed, realizing how insane it must have looked to be all dressed and ready at nine in the morning when I had no particular place to go. "I guess I just wanted to look nice for you when you got up." I looked down and tapped the floor with my foot, feeling like a silly teenager.

"Do you think you could ever look bad?" he said, patting the bed, signaling for me to come sit by him. I sat down and he leaned over to kiss me. "And I am up," he said seductively, pulling me down on top of him. We kissed for a long time, and my happiness allowed me to ignore his scratchy stubble against my smooth face. He was still wearing my robe, but the fabric had parted, exposing his firm chest, which I slowly began to move my hand across. He felt so tight from his daily workout on tour, though he was definitely a bit thinner. I could feel his erection against my hip, and could feel my own searching for space in my pants. Just when things started to get a bit more heated, the phone rang, making me jump in surprise.

"Let it ring," JC said, kissing my face and neck, trying to keep me from getting up.

"I have to get it," I said, wishing I didn't have to tear myself away. "It could be Edward." I raised myself up to a kneeling position and reached over to grab the phone on the nightstand.

"Is he ok?" JC asked, giving me a slight slap on the ass as I picked up the handset. I gave him a wary look and pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" I said into the phone. "Edward. Edward slow down I can't understand what you are saying." Edward was speaking frantically and I got off the bed and stepped out into the hall. "Edward, what's going on?" I knew that JC could tell that it was something serious.

"Mike's gone like totally crazy!" Edward practically yelled into the phone. "A friend of mine just told me that he's been going around school for weeks, telling everybody that he, that he..."

"That he what, Edward?" I yelled, wanting to know what problem I was being faced with.

"That he fucked me! This son of a bitch is going around telling people he fucked me! What am I supposed to do?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Edward, just calm down. What exactly did your friend say?"

"He told me that Mike has been telling different people at school about being in Colorado with me, only he's saying that we hooked up but that I'm some closet case who's afraid to admit it." I didn't know why someone would want to spread vicious rumors about someone as nice as Edward, but I did know that there were, in general, a lot of horrible people in the world.

"Nate, I don't want people looking at me like that! I'm not ready for all of this! I don't even know if I'm gay!"

"Edward, this is a separate issue, don't combine them. This guy is lying, plain and simple." JC came walking out into the hall, a look of concern on his face.

"What's going on?" JC whispered.

"Someone is giving Edward trouble at school," I told him.

"Are you telling Josh?" Edward yelled into the phone, causing my ears to ring.

"No, Edward, no." I didn't know at all what to do. I looked at JC and it hit me that he was certainly someone who had dealt with his share of rumors and had controlled them fairly well. "But, Edward, I think he might have some better suggestions as to what you should do."

"I'm so embarrassed," Edward said, sounding hurt and defeated. I didn't like hearing that, so I explained to him why I thought JC might have some better advice on the matter.

"If you think so," he said reluctantly. "I just don't want him looking at me differently." I assured him that he wouldn't, but also told Edward that I wouldn't say a word to JC without his complete permission.

He was silent for a while, and then quietly said, "ok." I told him just to sit tight and that I would get back to him shortly. I pressed the off button and realized I was now in the living room. JC came walking in, asking me what was wrong. We had been back together for less than twenty-four hours, and already I was once again making him get wrapped up in the drama of my own life. This all had to somehow be my fault.

I explained to him everything that was going on, what had happened in Colorado, what Mike was doing right now, how it was all only making Edward more and more confused about his own feelings. JC sat and listened quietly, taking it all in.

"Poor Edward," he said, shaking his head. "I think he's too sweet for this kind of lifestyle."

"Josh, I don't know how to save his reputation in school or how to get this guy to back off. I mean, I think most of the school now knows that he is my brother, but I don't know if whatever fame I have is enough to make them not judge him." JC looked like he was thinking hard. "Josh, you've probably had to deal with people saying bad stuff about you, right? Like ex-boyfriends or ex-wanna-be boyfriends?" He nodded. "So what did you do? How did you stop it?"

JC shifted on the couch, then leaned forward. "Well," he began. "I've gone about it in quite a few different ways throughout the years, but there is one that I have really found to be the most effective." I was hanging on his every word and I realized that he had quite a devious expression on his face.

"Which one is that?" I asked, feeling like I was about to get insight into the secret world of celebrities.

"If you don't mind," he began. "I mean, with your permission, I'd like to take care of this on my own." He was acting so cool that images of mobster movies started flashing in my head. I liked the take-charge JC, and I realized that I trusted him completely.

"Whatever you can do," I said, wondering what was going to come next.

"Could you get me the kid's last name?" he asked, standing up and heading back into the bedroom. I nodded, and called Edward back, asking him for the information. I told JC and he told me that he would be out in a minute, closing the bedroom door. I walked back into the living room, aware of how serious the situation was for Edward, but also quite excited by the covert operations that I imagined were going on in my bedroom.

I was just beginning to start pacing when JC emerged from the bedroom, sliding his cell phone cover closed and smiling cheerfully. "Josh!" I gasped, smiling at the satisfied expression on his face. "What did you do?"

"It should all be over by the end of the day," he said, nodding confidently. He was enjoying this.

"You're not going to tell me what you did?" I asked, walking over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. He looked so cute I thought I was going to have to bite him.

"There's a lot of complicated ways you can go about handling stuff like this, but there's one that's really easy. Since we're dealing with Edward, I feel better just knowing that it will be tended to immediately."

"I think I like this side of you," I said, kissing him. "You seem so dangerous."

He rolled his eyes, knowing deep down inside that he was just an adorable dork.

"So you have a gay brother?" he said, his hands slipping down to my waist.

"It looks that way," I shrugged.

JC kissed me and pinched my side, making me jump. "He's kind of hot," he smiled, walking back into the bedroom. I shook my head and walked into the kitchen to see if I had anything around for breakfast.

"Looks like someone's been shopping at Gucci," JC said, noticing the bag on my dresser.

"Oh my God!" I said walking over to it. "I totally forgot. I bought this for Edward a couple of days ago." I handed the bag to him.

"A sort of coming out present?" JC laughed, opening the box.

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be," I said. JC looked at the watch and told me that he thought it was beautiful. "I wish I was your brother."

"Do you really wish that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," he laughed nervously, closing the box. "No."

"You haven't been out on the terrace yet," I said, pulling him out of the bedroom.

"It's freezing out," he protested. I ignored him and led him out onto it. It was another cold, gray day, and the visibility was poor, but you could still get a good idea of what the view could offer.

"I can't wait to see it in the summer," I said, walking back inside.

"Nate, you need furniture, like now."

"I know," I said. "I have a total idea of what I want to do with it, but it's hard to figure out how to go about it."

"Why don't you hire a decorator?" JC asked.

"But I want it to reflect my style," I said.

"Nate, what do you think a decorator does? He listens to what you want and then goes and does the hard parts for you. You tell him what kind of chair you want, and he goes and finds it."

"Oh," I said. "I wasn't thinking of it that way. I guess that would be a good idea."

"You should hire that guy on Oprah," JC said, snapping his fingers trying to think of his name. "I know his first name is Nate, too. Nate, Nate..."

"Berkus?" I offered.

"Yeah," he said. "That's it."

"What's with this decorator? Edward keeps telling me about him too."

"Hmm," JC laughed. "You're brother has good taste."

"That's what this is all about? You guys want me to hire a hot decorator?"

"Yes," he said, shaking his head up and down.

"Fine," I shrugged. "I'll ask Karen to see if she can set up an interview or whatever."

"You're going to need to hire an assistant soon," JC said. "You're going to reach that point where you're not supposed to make your own phone calls anymore."

"And this is a good thing?"

"Depends on what you want."

"I'm beginning to wonder."

"Let's go visit Edward," JC said, pulling on his coat. "He could probably use the company at the moment." I couldn't argue with that. I had been kind of hoping for some intimate time with JC, but I supposed it could wait.

Stepping onto the Julliard campus, I think JC began to wonder if he should have gone to college.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "You did pretty well for yourself."

"Yeah, but look at all this. It's all so, college-like." I laughed and we made our way toward Edward's dormitory. On the way, a gigantic, hulking man came moving down the walkway and I noticed JC and the man nod at each other as we passed by.

"Josh, wasn't that one of your body guards?" I asked, staring at him intensely.

"Relax," he said with a wink. "I told him not to hurt him." I continued walking straight ahead, stone-faced, wondering if anyone would ever know that boy-band members could play pretty rough.

Edward sat on his bed, staring at JC and I, sitting on the bed of his roommate. "So," Edward said.

"So," I said.

"So," JC said.

"Edward, I..."

"Nate?" JC interrupted. "Maybe you could let Edward and I talk for a few minutes." I was surprised by his request but agreed with the idea that it might do Edward some good to talk to another gay man who he was not related to. The idea of being all alone outside with no one to protect me from excitable college co-eds was daunting, but I figured I could probably handle it.

I walked around outside until I became so cold that I just had to seek shelter. I noticed the Julliard library and hurried over to it, hoping they would let me in. I saw that you needed an ID to actually go into the library, but I was able to stand in the lobby, which was good enough for me as I can't say I had any intention of reading anything.

"Did you hear about Mike?" I heard someone say, causing me to whip around to find two girls talking on a stone bench.

"No," the other girl said with great interest.

"He's telling everybody that he made up all that stuff about him and Edward. He's telling everyone that he tried to seduce Edward, but that Edward wasn't at all interested."

"What a jerk," the other girl said. "Why would he do that?"

"He said that he was just so hurt by being rejected by Edward, that he was acting out of anger."

"Gee, can you imagine how Edward must feel? Having things like that said about you when they aren't true?"

"I know. I mean, I don't even know if Edward's gay."

"This is an art school," the girl laughed. "All the guys are gay."

JC's stock was rising to new heights as I listened to these girls talk about what an idiot this Mike was. Someone must have put the fear of God into the kid to make him run around the school, destroying his own reputation. Feeling much warmer, I headed back outside, amazed at the idea that some crises could actually be solved in a day.

Forty-five minutes had passed when JC called my cell phone, telling me it was ok to come back. I rushed back to the dorm and told them about the news I had heard while I was out. Edward already looked like he was beaming when I came in, and he only seemed happier when I told him. "I wouldn't be surprised if Mike transferred by the end of this semester," I laughed.

The three of us talked for a while more until JC stood up and suggested that we all go have an early dinner. I had been hoping to spend more alone time with JC, but quickly reminded myself that Edward needed us. Edward excused himself to go to the bathroom and I smirked at JC.

"It's a boy!" he laughed, referring to Edward as our son.

"You're just worried about being alone with me," I winked, reaching over and squeezing his inner thigh. He squirmed and started laughing, pushing my hand away.

"We need to explain to him what guys do," he laughed, play-fighting with me. "Not show him." Edward walked in to find us roughhousing and asked if he should come back later.

"No, of course not," I laughed, straightening up and readjusting my clothing. We went to a restaurant downtown, where we were looked at with shame for having dinner at the unsophisticated hour of five.

"Have you guys seen that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie?" Edward asked, halfway through our meal.

"God, I haven't seen a new movie in so long!" JC said, apparently reminiscing about the days when he used to see a lot of new movies.

"It looks pretty good," I said.

"We should go see it," Edward suggested, looking like he was twelve. With everything he had facing him, I hoped he wouldn't lose his innocence.

"Let's do it," JC agreed, looking at me for confirmation. I had been spending the better part of dinner imagining JC in all sorts of unspeakable positions, but I supposed a movie would be fine. "So Edward," JC began. "You think Leo is cute?"

"I, um, I..." He stuttered, looking around the room and fumbling with his napkin.

"Just kidding," JC said, smiling at him. "We can talk about hot movie stars later." Edward looked relieved that he didn't have to make any type of proclamation. JC turned and looked at me. "But there is one hot movie star that I'm pretty partial too," he said, giving me a slight wink.

It was around ten o'clock by the time we dropped Edward back at his dorm. I thought that JC was going to suggest that we go and tuck him in, but he seemed satisfied with our activities of the day as the cab made its way back to my apartment. Not wanting to make the cab driver's ride more exciting than it needed to be, JC leaned over and whispered into my ear, "You know your Jacuzzi is big enough for two."

"It's big enough for four," I said, wiggling my eyebrows up and down.

"I want to get you all nice and clean," he whispered. "And then I want to make you cum harder than you ever had in your life." Now he was the one wiggling his eyebrows.

"If you're willing to try, so am I," I said, settling back into my seat, feeling myself begin to harden.

I started to run the bath and light the candles in the bathroom; still in partial disbelief that this was all real. JC walked in and dimmed the overhead lights, allowing the light from the candles to shine brilliantly. "You're not too tired tonight?" I asked. He shook his head 'no,' walking toward me, pulling his shirt off in the process. I looked at his bare chest, so incredibly taught, his chest hair trimmed very short.

"You know how hot you are, don't you?" I smiled, pulling my own shirt off, revealing my slightly larger, slightly hairier chest.

"I think I've gotten better with age," he smirked, unbuttoning his pants, and pushing them down to the ground.

"Certainly more confident," I said, following his lead. We both stood in front of each other in our boxer-briefs, and once again I felt myself overcome with nervousness. I could see the sizeable bulge in JC's shorts, but was feeling so jumpy, that I didn't have one in mine. "Um, would you mind turning around?" I asked weakly, knowing that I couldn't possibly explain my reasoning.

"Um, sure," he said, turning around. "But you know you're beautiful?"

"Oh I know," I said, slipping my shorts down and stepping into the tub. "I just thought I would try being demure." JC turned back around, hooked his hands in his shorts, and pushed them down in one quick motion. His movements and body clearly indicated that he was a dancer. But his cock was a huge reminder that he was first and foremost a man. It looked pretty stiff, but was still aimed downward as he made his way into the tub. We sat facing each other, feeling our lower limbs intertwine. Soon after I was on top of him, kissing his chest, moving to his arms, kissing his firm biceps. My own cock had started responding to our activities and I felt it sliding against his hard stomach as I brought my lips up to his. His hands moved to my muscular ass, and he lightly squeezed as we continued to make-out for what felt like hours.

"I can't believe we can do this whenever we want," I smiled, slipping my tongue into his mouth. His tongue swirled around mine and he grabbed me harder. My hand found his cock and I gripped it tightly at the base, slowly pulling my hand up.

"Ohh," he moaned. I was so thrilled to see how excited he was that I was touching him. I reached down again and grasped his smooth, loose sack, lightly rolling his balls around with my fingers. He had just started lifting his knees when I heard a familiar but unwelcome sound. My cell phone.

"Damn it!" I said, breaking our embrace. JC looked so heated up that I almost suggested that he finish himself off as I reached out of the tub and scrambled to get my phone out of my jeans. "It might be Edward," I said, pulling out the phone, wishing it were something else. JC sank deeper into the water, sighing, laying his head back against the wall of the tub.

It was Karen, my publicist, telling me that she had some very good news. "Great," I said. "Any chance it can wait until tomorrow?"

"Not really," she said. "I contacted Nate Berkus's design firm, and, you're not going to believe this, but after telling whoever it was I was talking to who I was calling on behalf of, I was put on hold and then put through to Nate himself." I shifted to the corner of the tub, wondering if Karen's good news was simply that she had gotten the chance to talk to this Valentino of design. "Anyway," she continued. "He told me that he knew who you were, that he had loved you in the play you did last summer, and that he would be thrilled to come out and take a look at your place."

"Cool," I said. "Maybe we can set something up for when I get back from LA."

"Oh no," she said. "He said he could come tomorrow. He said he would fly in special from Chicago just for you."

"Tomorrow?" I stammered, leaning forward. JC's interest had perked and he stared directly at me.

"Yes," she said. "I'm calling to find out if two p.m. is good for you."

"Um, I guess so."

"Great," she said. "I'll confirm it then. Have a goodnight."

JC smiled at me and came over to prop himself up on my chest. I told him what had just happened. "Wow," he said. "Looks like designer Nate has a crush on actor Nate." He leaned forward and started to kiss me again, while my mind started racing with colors, styles and fabrics. I had just felt JC's hand wrapping around my cock when I suddenly blurted, "Josh, I have to get ready. There's so little time." I started climbing out of the tub, much to JC's confusion, wrapped a towel around my waist, and started heading out of the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" JC asked, probably contemplating drowning himself at this point.

"He's coming tomorrow!" I yelled. "I have to have all my ideas outlined and organized or else he's going to end up doing it all on his own!" I placed my hands on my hips and looked around the room. "I'll start with the office," I said out loud but really to myself. I hurried out of the room, hearing a sigh and sensing that JC had slid under the water.

"I'm going to start without you!" JC called from the bedroom.

"Do you think the dining room should be done in cool or warm tones?" I yelled, scanning the walls of the dining room intensely.

"You know, you're really starting to sound pretty gay!" JC responded. "If you're gonna start making your own drapes and stuff, I'm out of here."

"I'll be there in a second," I said, scribbling some notes onto the pad I was holding. It was after one in the morning, and I was almost finished penning my thoughts on the apartment. Wishing I had the time to make scale models, I let out a sigh and slowly journeyed back to the bedroom. JC was in my bed, shirtless, wearing a pair of glasses and reading a magazine.

"Did you know that I should never wear white?" he asked, shaking his head at the page he was reading. "These people know nothing about fashion. I definitely know how to dress."

"Now who's sounding gay?" I laughed, climbing in next to him. "Why don't you put that away?" I said, cozying up to him.

"Oh, now you want some?" he laughed as I pulled his glasses off and placed them on the nightstand. I leaned over him and kissed him fully, feeling his arms tighten around me.

"Let me ask you a question," I smiled, biting his lower lip.

"Should I start calling you Don Chasez? Will you be continuing to have people make offers on your behalf that other people can't refuse?"

"You loved it," he said, exhaling and tightening his grip around me even more.

"I have another question for you." I said, feeling his breath on my face. "Do you think leather panels would be a good idea in this room?" JC looked up at me, rolled his eyes, smiled and rolled me off of him, settling himself down under the covers.

"You just don't want the place to look like a cow exploded in here," he contributed, sensing that my mind wasn't going to stop spinning. I settled down into the bed as well, and we lay there, practically nose to nose, JC listening to all of my ideas and giving me his opinions of them. We talked way into the night, drifting off to sleep at some unknown time. We didn't have sex, but we sure did have fun.

I awoke first, as was typical, to see JC sleeping soundly. He must have gotten warm at some point in the night because the comforter was pushed away from him, so that he was covered only in the thin white sheet. Feeling my own morning erection in my shorts, and seeing JC's tent out the sheet, I suddenly felt very hungry for some action. Carefully, I slid the sheet down uncovering JC's stomach and legs. I slid my body down lower and ever so slowly slid my hand under his waistband and pulled down his boxer-briefs, revealing his beautiful cock. I pressed my face against it, inhaling deeply, savoring his aroma and the feeling of his hard but still spongy cock against my face. JC breathed rhythmically as I moved my index finger up and down his smooth shaft, endlessly impressed with its pale color and elegant shape. Sitting atop well-trimmed pubes, his cock stretched out toward his naval, curving slightly, moving up and down with his breathing.

Unable to resist any longer, I took his penis by the base and guided the head of it into my mouth. It had been a long time since I had felt him inside my mouth. I could feel my own cock swelling as his grew inside me. As of yet he was still asleep, but I was hoping that the pleasure I was giving him would soon be his wakeup call.

I took him deep into my throat, my tongue lashing around the entire time. He was rock hard now and I could hear his breath quicken. I could have used some air as well, but was unwilling to let go at the moment, savoring his taste and scent, reminding myself that this was how it was always going to be from now on.

"Ohhh," I heard from above, looking up to see JC's eyes flutter and then open slowly. "I thought I was dreaming," he said, closing his eyes again.

I took his cock out of my mouth and rocked it back and forth a bit, making him give out another long sigh. "I didn't think you would mind," I smiled, taking him back down my throat. He moaned again and I felt his hands softly begin to run through my hair.

"Feels so good," he said, slowly starting to rock his hips. I took a deep breath and lowered my mouth down to his pelvis, feeling his pubes press against my lips as I deep throated him. His entire body jerked and I could tell his upper body had briefly lifted off of the mattress. Taking an eleven-inch cock down to its base is definitely not for amateurs, but in the past months, JC had given me plenty of practice. Still, I could only do it for so long without fear of lock-jaw, and so I pulled back, taking a deep breath and soaking the head of his cock with my tongue and saliva.

I had tasted the first drop of precum when I heard the worst sound I had ever heard. The doorbell. "You've got to be kidding me," I said, letting go of my delicious snack.

"It's Edward," JC groaned, placing his hand over his face.

"Edward? What's he doing here?"

"Last night while you were running around trying to become Queen of the Year, I called to tell him about Nate Berkus coming."

"Josh, the kid isn't even sure he is gay and you want him to hit on some interior designer?"

"No," he smiled, sitting up. I could feel his cock deflating in my hand and could have almost started to cry. "I just know he thinks he's cute and thought this might be a nice situation where he can feel comfortable with those feelings."

"Josh," I said, leaning over and brushing my lips against his. "You're kind of wonderful."

"Are you going to leave him standing out in the hall?" JC smirked, urging me off the bed.

"Maybe someday we'll have sex again," I called walking out of the bedroom.

"Maybe," he laughed.

"Well, you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning," I said, letting Edward in.

"I feel stupid coming to watch some guy decorate your apartment," he said, taking off his coat and looking for a coat rack that didn't exist. I took it from him and placed it in the hall closet.

"Don't be," I said. "He's a real famous designer, and who knows, maybe he can introduce you to Oprah." I winked at him and asked him if he wanted anything to eat.

"No thanks," he said, sitting down on the couch. "Uh, Nate?" he questioned, looking at the multitude of writings and sketches on the coffee table. "Do you really think you need a decorator?"

"Those are just jumping off points," I said. "So has Mike given you any more problems?"

"No," Edward answered. "He even came by last night to apologize to me. What do you think Josh did?"

"I'm not sure," I laughed. "But I think you're back in control of your own reputation now."

"That was really nice of him," he said, looking toward the bedroom door. He turned back to me. "Is everything ok with you guys now?"

"I think so," I said. "I mean, it seems to be. It's been just like old times since he got here, only better."

"I was really happy when I got his email telling me to go to TRL with you so that we could arrange to have him meet you in the car."

"I was shocked. I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"He told me not too."

I walked into the bedroom and retrieved the box containing the watch I had bought. JC was in the shower so I hurried back out and handed it to Edward. "What is this?" Edward asked, taking the box.

"It's a gift," I said, smiling. "And don't get all worked up about it. It's not a coming out present. I got it for you before you told me anything."

Edward smiled awkwardly and opened the box, his jaw dropping at the sight of the watch. "Nate, I, uh, I don't know what to say." He took the watch out of the box looked at it lovingly. "I, uh, never expected to have something like this."

"Well, I didn't like yours anymore," I smiled. "And I thought this one suited you better. Do you like it?"

"I love it," he said excitedly. He moved to hug me, but hesitated so I took the lead and hugged him.

"I love ya kid," I said, patting his back. "Don't ever think you don't deserve the best of everything, because you do."

"It's going to be pretty hard to play the starving artist bit at school with this around my wrist," he laughed. The truth was that both Edward and I had grown up with a great deal of money, for Edward when he came to live with my family, but certainly not the kind of money where ten thousand dollar watches were bought on a whim.

JC came walking out of the bedroom and Edward hurried over to show him his gift. "Wow," JC said, taking a hold of Edward's wrist. "Got some major bling-bling happening over here. Are you sure you don't want to skip doing all the classical stuff and move right into hip-hop?" Edward smiled, withdrawing his hand and walking back to the center of the room.

I made breakfast and the three of us sat down at the table, discussing random bits of information. "Well, it seems pretty clear that all of us read the Yahoo! headlines," I laughed. "But at least one of us should read the articles if we're going to try and have a real discussion."

"We're artists," JC laughed back. "News is for everyone else."

At two p.m. on the dot, I received word from the doorman that Nate Berkus and his assistant had arrived. Both JC and Edward started fluttering about, seeming confused as to where they should be placing themselves. I reminded JC that he was an international pop star and that Nate Berkus was just a decorator, and he stopped moving, pretending to act casual.

"Do I look ok?" Edward asked JC.

"Just adorable," he responded. "How about me?" he asked, pointing to his shirt and turning back and forth. I looked at the two of them like they were insane and walked to the door. I was nervous about the decorating, but certainly there was no reason to be worried about the decorator.

"Are you guys gonna make it through this?" I asked, my hand on the doorknob. They both nodded and I opened the door, sure that no one required this kind of reaction. Bright blue eyes, a chiseled face and a blinding smile greeted me as I took a step backward. I found myself participating in a strong handshake and would have begun stuttering if I hadn't quickly assessed that despite being confronted with sculptured perfection, I was still cuter.

"Nate Murray? Nate Berkus," he said in a low husky voice, releasing his grip on my hand. He stepped inside with his assistant who to this day I have no recollection of what he looked like. "I'm a huge fan," he said. "Your work on the stage has just been amazing."

"Thank you," I said. "I'm a huge fan of yours too," I lied. "You've done some great work on the Oprah show." I could feel JC and Edward's eyes burning holes in me, so I didn't bother to look at them. "Can I take your coat?"

"Thanks," Nate said, removing his coat to reveal a tight fitting gray t-shirt with smooth, muscular arms. "Oh wow," he said, noticing the pop star in my apartment. "Nate has some pretty cool friends I see," he said, extending his hand to JC.

"Nice to meet ya man," JC said, shaking his hand. He was acting like the JC you see on television.

"Man?" I repeated under my breath to JC as I passed by him. "And this is my brother, Edward," I said to Nate.

Nate Berkus commented on the loveliness of the apartment as he began to make his way through it, three enamored hosts following him around. "There's a lot we can do here," he said. I looked at JC who gave me a quick wink, and I almost started to laugh. Nate Berkus was most definitely going to leave wondering about the Murray household. "So how do you see the place?" Nate asked me. JC and Edward rolled their eyes at each other while I mentioned that I had a few ideas, and hurried off to retrieve them. I came back with my sketches and pads and we walked over to the dining room table where we could sit down and look at them.

"Um, so what is it you want me to do?" Nate Berkus asked me. I gave him a confused look.

"I was under the impression that you could go out and find this stuff," I said very seriously. Nate shook his head and offered a slight laugh.

"So you basically just want to hire me to pick up your furniture for you?"

"Is that wrong?" I asked, looking over at JC who was sitting on the couch with Edward, throwing his hands up in concession. I turned back to face the piercing eyes of Nate Berkus and knew that I had to say something quick. "Just kidding," I laughed. "These are just some ideas I had. You're the visionary who I am sure can bring it all together." Nate's back was to JC and Edward, so he couldn't see the funny if wildly inappropriate gestures they were making at me.

"I'm thinking classic modernism," Nate said.

"Yes! Perfect!" I said, smiling brightly.

"Ok," he said. "Well, let Harold and I take some measurements and then we can get out of your way."

"Take all the time you need," I said, standing up with him. "Um, just let me know if you need anything." He nodded and I ran over to join my cohorts in what I thought might be the beginnings of an elaborate plan to kidnap and make a love slave out of a one, Nate Berkus.

"Are you two enjoying yourselves?" I asked, plopping down on the couch next to them.

"I have to say it," JC practically giggled. "That is one fine ass on that interior designer." I looked over at Edward for his opinion.

"Um, yes," he said blankly. "A very fine ass." He looked away in disbelief of what he had just said.

"Well, I just hope he's a good decorator," I said. "I basically just gave him free reign over my apartment."

"Yeah, well, you're a sucker for a pretty face," JC laughed. He looked at me, his eyes flickering, and then he looked away. I could tell what he was thinking and I wanted to die. "Don't worry, he really is a good decorator," JC said, looking around the room.

Nate Berkus came back into the room to discuss a work schedule. I told him that I was leaving at the end of the week, and probably wouldn't be back for a few months so he could feel free to take however much time he needed.

"Ok," said. "But either I or one of my people will call you to get your ok on any decisions I make."

"Great," I said, shaking his hand. We discussed some formalities and then Nate Berkus and whomever he was with left, telling the three of us what a pleasure it was to meet all of us. We hung on his every word and we all gave a collective sigh when he left.

"He's too old for you," I laughed, cautioning Edward. The idea of Edward being with a guy his own age wasn't any more of an appealing thought to me, but I knew that Edward was very much a child and wanted him to stay that way. I caught JC's eye again and knew that I had to talk to him. "Josh, can I see you in the kitchen for a moment?" I said, walking ahead of him.

"What is it?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"Josh, are you going to worry about me having an affair every time you see me talking to someone attractive?"

"What? No."

"I saw the look you gave me earlier." I wasn't angry, just upset. "It crossed your mind."

"It did," he confessed. "And it probably will continue, at least for a while."

"But you know I would never do anything to hurt you again? You do know that, right?"

"I do," he assured. "I trust you, Nate. But I can't pretend it never happened. I don't think that would be a healthy relationship to be in."

"I agree," I said, admiring his sensibility. "And I won't forget it either. But I want you to know that a day won't go by that I won't feel horrible for what I did to you."

"I did some bad things too," he said, looking down at the floor.

"But only because you were hurt. Josh, I'm so sorry." I embraced him and laid my head on his shoulder. "I love you."

"I know you do, and I love you too," he said, pressing his hand against the back of my head and lifting me up into a kiss. We walked out of the kitchen and JC went off to the bathroom. In the foyer I found Edward putting on his coat.

"Hey, where are you going?" I smiled. "Everything is fine, you don't have to leave."

"I'm glad to hear that," Edward said. "I should go though. I have stuff to do and you two haven't really had that much time alone since Josh got back into town."

"You really don't have to go, Edward. You can move in if you want. JC wouldn't care."

"Oh I know, and thanks, but really, I should go study."

"Ok then," I said. "Well be careful out there."

"I will, and thanks again for the watch. I'm already thinking about how it will look when I'm playing." He shook his head and laughed. "God, I am gay aren't I?" I smiled back at him, closing the door as he made his departure. I turned the lock and realized that once again I was alone with JC. No one else was supposed to be coming over and I thought that now we might be able to enjoy some private time together.

"Nate?" JC called, stepping out of the bedroom, his cell phone up to his ear. "I'm gonna have to be on the phone for like the next hour or so with business. Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Sure," I said, realizing that it was very likely that JC and I would never have sex again. It was a fitting punishment for me really. I would now be able to see him every day but would never be able to touch him.

"I really could use some supplies. I didn't bring anything with me really." I asked him what he needed and he handed me a laundry list of items ranging from cologne to Twizzlers. "I really appreciate it," he said, giving me a wink and stepping back into the bedroom. I stood there dumbfounded for moment, then shrugged my shoulders and headed outside. If I couldn't be with JC, at least I could be with his favorite products.

Two hours and several hundred dollars later, I was making my way home. The sun was setting, making the city seem clear and peaceful if only for a few minutes. I was looking forward to getting back to my apartment, climbing into some comfortable clothes, and maybe watching a movie or something with JC. As I turned the knob and opened the door, I quickly realized that there was something else in store for me. Light was flickering from the dining room and I walked toward it to find the dining room table beautifully set, with tall candlesticks holding tall drippy candles.

"Did you really go and buy all that stuff?" JC laughed, observing the many bags in my hands. He was seated at the head of the table, dressed in a beige, v-neck cashmere sweater and dark pants. It hadn't even dawned at me that the shopping list was a ploy to get me out of the house and I started to laugh, placing the bags down in the corner. "Have a seat," he said, motioning to the place setting at the other end of the table. I took off my jacket, and sat down at the table. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept smiling and pushed my hair behind my ears. I was just about to ask where all of this stuff had come from when a man in a white shirt and black vest came out of the kitchen, carrying plates of food.

"Everything is prepared, sir," the man said to JC. JC thanked the man and told him that he was free to go. The man nodded and headed out of the apartment.

"Is there anyone else back there?" I asked, looking toward the kitchen.

"It's just us now," JC said, taking a sip of his wine, looking so sexy and confident that I was ready to skip dinner.

"This is some surprise," I said. "I don't know how you did it all."

"It's really easy to get things done in New York if you have a lot of money," he smiled. The food looked delicious, and reminded me that I was starving. I picked up my fork, but then placed it back down, a guilty feeling washing over me.

"Josh, I really don't deserve any of this," I said, almost wanting him to agree with me and tell me to get lost. I couldn't understand why he wanted to be with me.

"Nate," he began. "It's not about what you deserve, it's about how I feel about you. I love you and I always have. Even before I told you."

"I knew," I said, smiling. "It's just that before I couldn't understand why you wouldn't forgive me, and now I don't understand why you have."

"I don't want to make excuses for you Nate, but the reality was that we really hadn't been together that long before you went to Africa. I mean, it may have felt long considering everything we went through," he laughed. "But, I think I might have been putting more pressure on you than I should have."

"Josh," I interrupted. "Don't even think about blaming yourself."

"Listen to me," he said, taking another sip of his wine. "I'm just saying that I was taking everything too seriously. I so wanted things to work out with you that I may have driven you away."

"Josh, I never felt that way," I said. It had crossed my mind that JC did act like we were a married couple three months into the relationship, but I thought it was cute, and it wasn't something I felt I was subconsciously fighting against. "I can't do this if you are going to blame yourself," I said. "You have to accept that I fucked up big time, but that I never stopped loving you for a second, and that I will never do it again."

"Even when I was furious with you, I still kept seeing us together in the future," he said. "I just didn't know how to go about it."

"And you think you have found a way now?"

"I'm here," he said.

"Well, I guess that's good enough for me then," I smiled, raising my glass to him. He raised his, and we enjoyed a truly delicious dinner.

"So what's next?" I asked, folding my napkin and placing it on the table.

"What makes you think there is more?" JC said, pretending to be offended.

"Oh come, on," I laughed. "You know there's more."

"Well," he sighed, leaning back against his chair and giving a slight stretch. "There might be a surprise for you in the bedroom."

"I was hoping you would say that," I said, standing up. "Are you coming?"

"In a second," he said. "I just want to grab a few Twizzlers."

I opened the bedroom door and felt the need to catch my breath. The lights were off, but a hundred white candles must have been strewn throughout the room, bathing it in an incredible warmth in conjunction with the fireplace. The blinds were up, but because of the heat in the room and the cold air outside, the condensation on the large bay windows had made them opaque, while still letting the moonlight in. The bed was outfitted with new sheets, dark red, with red velvet pillows and a red velvet duvet tossed on top of it. I felt strong hands grasp my shoulders from behind and I placed my right hand on top of his left. "It's beautiful," I said, hardly able to speak. I turned around and looked into his sparkling eyes. I still couldn't believe the guy I watched on television was in my bedroom.

"Do you like your surprise?" he said, brushing his lips briefly against mine, his nose sliding across my own. I didn't know what else to say, so I just kissed him back, my arms slipping around his waist. It was a familiar feeling and yet, under the circumstances, it felt a bit like the first time. "Let's go to bed," he said quietly, walking toward the alter to sex he had created. He started to pull off his shirt, but I told him to stop, stepping close to him.

"Let me," I said, reaching for his sweater and slowly pulling it off of him, admiring the stretch of his muscles. I brought my hand up to his chest but had to move it as he began to return the favor, helping me out of my sweater and shirt. We said nothing, warmed by the candlelight and basking in its glow. I reached for the button of his pants and undid them, slowly pushing them down to the ground. JC slipped his shoes off and lifted his legs as I freed him from his pants, quickly moving back up him to remove his underwear as well. He was half-hard, and responded to his own nakedness by quickly getting me naked as well. He pressed his hands against my hard pectoral muscles and leaned down, kissing them, brushing his lips over my nipples. I placed my hand under his chin, gently elevating him until we were face to face. I kissed him deeply, my tongue washing over his own.

After what seemed like hours, JC moved up onto the bed, pulling the sheets back and lying down on his back. I climbed on top of him, desperate to feel our naked bodies together. We continued kissing until JC pulled his lips away, looking at me intensely.

"Nate," he began slowly. "I want you to make love to me." Hearing those words, I couldn't help but imagine that we were suddenly on a soap opera or in a cheesy romance novel. I smiled and looked at him, not sure how to respond. "Don't worry about it," he said in his low, husky voice. "It's just like when we fuck, only slower."

"Oh," I said, realizing that I could handle that. Feeling my stiff cock against his leg, I realized that I was also ready for it. I came to a kneeling position and leaned over to the nightstand in order to get the lube. JC turned over so that he was lying on his side. Well lubricated, I turned to see the back of JC. He was totally smooth from his neck down, his skin golden and glowing in the firelight. I came closer to him, kissing his back in different places, loving the taste of his skin. He raised his right leg, letting me know he was ready for me.

"Josh," I said, kissing his shoulders. "Has there been anyone else since..."

"No," he said quickly.

"Because I would understand if you..."

"There's been no one else, Nate."

"Not for me either," I said.

"I know," he responded. Slowly I placed my cock between his ass cheeks, feeling the head brush up against his hole. JC closed his eyes and bit his lip as I started pushing inside him, ever so slowly, more slowly than I ever had. He made a low grunt as his hole expanded around my cock, taking me in to the base. This felt different from our experiences in Florida. I had felt the heat of his body around my pole before, but now there was an intimacy to it that I couldn't quite explain. For the first time it felt like I was offering him a part of myself, and he was receiving it.

With one hand on top of the mattress, holding his left shoulder, and my other hand over his right hip, I slowly moved my cock inside him, listening to the slick sounds below. His lips were now parted, his eyes still closed tightly as we found a slow and steady rhythm. At one point, JC's right hand slid behind him, grabbing my ass and driving me deeper into him. I let out a groan, my hand sliding up and down his arm as I began to turn him until he was face down on the bed, me on top of him, loving his hole with my cock.

"Josh, you're so warm," I said, kissing the back of his neck, working my cock like a piston inside him.

"Go deeper," he said, working his legs until they were in between mine, allowing me to push into him harder. We settled into this position for a while, JC moaning with each thrust until I could feel him trying to move away. I sat back on my knees and JC rolled over onto his back, stretching, raising his legs, giving me an excellent view of his hard cock and open hole. He smiled and I moved back toward him, my cock quickly sliding back up him. As gorgeous as his back was, I preferred being able to see his face and body, watching his abs clench, watching the sweat trickle down his slightly hairy chest. His cock was rock hard, his balls drawn tightly against his body. I watched my cock slide in and out of his hole, watching his skin roll back and forth around it.

I grasped his cock with my hand and started sliding it up and down him, causing him to cry out in pleasure and dribble precum all over my hand. The pace was starting to quicken again and I could feel JC's legs wrap around my waist.

"Uhhh, Uhhh," he moaned. "Nate, Nate."

"Josh, I'm close," I said, feeling the familiar urge building inside me.

"Me too," he sighed. My hand was moving quickly up and down his pole, slick with his juices and sweat.

"Oh, oh God," I yelled.

"Nate, look at me," JC said. We locked eyes and for a moment I was transported to another place. There was nothing but love and passion in his eyes, and I felt exactly the same way. "I love you," he said.

"I love you," I said. We kept staring as our jaws locked simultaneously and we began to cum. I pumped my load deep inside him, causing him to yell out and shoot his load all over his chest. We were cumming hard and it didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Long after we had stopped moaning, cum continued to drip out of JC's cock, and he shivered as I pulled out him, moving down his body, licking up his juice. I sucked his pole into my mouth, finishing him off, licking him nice and clean before returning to lie next to him.

"That was amazing," JC said, smiling, his eyes closing. I leaned over and kissed him, feeling his tongue slide into my mouth. We kissed longer, eventually settling in for the evening, JC spooning himself against my chest. We laced our fingers together and drifted off to sleep. The phone didn't ring. There was no knock on the door. It was just JC and I. Together again.

To be continued