Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
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If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
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I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I've been happy to hear from everyone who wrote to ask questions or say how much they liked this so far. This is my first attempt at this sort of writing, so the feedback is appreciated, and I'll keep answering all of you.
And now, on with the show.
"Jesus!" Chris yelped, as we all skittered back from the table, as if it were acid rolling toward us and not coffee.
"I'll get some paper towels," I said, turning toward the kitchen.
Josh had jumped up so quickly his chair fell over, backward, onto the carpet. He was staring at Chris, his eyes wide, face white, breathing quickly. His jaw was moving a little, as if he was fumbling for words. I grabbed his arm, and he jumped.
"Josh, pick up your chair," I said, walking to the kitchen counters.
"Uh? Yeah," he said quickly, glancing at me.
"Let me help you with that," Chris said, taking some paper towels from me.
"Haven't helped enough yet?" I whispered. Josh was staring at the tabletop.
The two of us returned to the table, Chris setting down and me blotting up the coffee. Returning to the kitchen area to throw the paper towels away, I grabbed three plates and a coffee cup, and walked back over to where Josh and Chris were staring uncomfortably at each other. Josh was still white, but at least he was breathing normally, and Chris was shifting in his chair. I poured half of the coffee Josh had brought me into the cup I'd brought, and pushed it over to him.
"So," I began, sipping mine. The two of them looked at me blankly. "It's not like we can laugh it off and pretend you didn't say anything. Obviously we need to talk. Who wants to start?"
"I didn't mean to upset you, JC," Chris began.
"Well you did!" Josh burst, finally speaking. "What the fuck are you trying to do?"
"Why the fuck are you yelling at me, man?" Chris yelled back. "I'm trying to be your friend!"
"This is probably going to work out a lot better if nobody yells at anybody," I said quietly, sipping my coffee.
"I'm sorry," Chris said, leaning back in his chair. "Like I said, I didn't want to upset either of you."
"Well you did!" Josh blurted again.
I folded one of my hands over Josh's.
"This is probably also going to work a lot better if you let Chris finish a sentence," I said. "I've never known you to be rude, especially not to a friend."
"I'm sorry," Josh said, turning to Chris. "I'm sorry. You just caught me really off guard."
Chris shrugged.
"I kind of thought I had to, JC, to get you to talk about this," he said. "You haven't talked to us for months, any of us. It's like you haven't even been here."
"But I have been here," Josh said, looking away. Even he didn't believe it.
"Yeah, your body has," Chris said. "You've gone out and done all the shows, and everything else, and maybe nobody outside the band has noticed, but you were just going through the motions, and you have been for a while. You've been on your synthesizer, or playing with your mixing boards, but you haven't really been, well, you, and I'm tired of it. We're your friends, Josh. Everything you've been going through by yourself, you could have had us with you for."
"Not this," Josh said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, JC, even this," Chris said. "Did you think I wouldn't be ok with it? Did you think I'd suddenly hate you? You're my friend. I don't care if you're sleeping with Jack."
Josh stared at him again.
"What makes you think," Josh began defensively.
"JC, I live below you," Chris said. "Between the two of you, and the two of them next door, I didn't think I'd get any sleep at all."
I snickered, and they both looked at me.
"Sorry," I said, covering my grin with my hand at the thought of Chris lying in bed, staring at the ceiling in wide-eyed sleepless rage.
"Look, JC, if we're going to talk about this, can't we at least be honest?" Chris asked. "I mean, Jesus, you're holding hands right here at the table, in front of me. Why are you still trying to pretend there's nothing to talk about?"
"I don't know," Josh said quietly, looking down. He squeezed my hand, hard.
"Let's try it this way, then," Chris said, folding his hands in front of him. "JC, are you with Jack?"
Josh took a deep breath, and squeezed my hand harder still. He looked at me, and I smiled comfortingly, raising my eyebrows.
"Yes," Josh answered. "Yes, Jack and I are together."
"Good," Chris said, smiling. His smile was always more of a mirthful little twist of his mouth than a wide, beaming grin, and it was oddly endearing. "I assume you like him, then."
"I love him," Josh said, not hesitating this time. His voice was strong, and confident. "Jack and I are together, and I love him."
"Good for you," Chris said. "Jack, how do you feel about JC?"
"I love Josh," I said, stirring my coffee. Josh was grinning at me, and I realized he had needed this. He was going to be ok.
"Perfect," Chris said, reaching for the bag he'd brought. "So, I brought croissants. What did you get?"
"What?" Josh asked, confused again.
"What did you get us for breakfast?" Chris said slowly, enunciating all the words.
"You don't want to ask anything else?" Josh asked.
There was a little wrinkle of puzzlement between his eyebrows, and I wanted to lean over and kiss him, but this was Chris's show. As long as he wasn't hurting Josh in some way, I was going to trust his judgment, and let him play this out however he wanted to. I squeezed Josh's hand reassuringly.
"Only if you want to tell me," Chris answered, removing three bottles of orange juice from the bag.
"Oh, thanks," I said, taking mine.
"But, then, why did you ask?" Josh asked him. "I don't understand this at all."
"JC, it's what I've been trying to tell you all along," Chris said. "I'm your friend. As your friend, it bothered the hell out of me that something was hurting you, and you didn't feel like you could talk about it with me. I want to know if something hurts you. I want to help you, because I'm your friend."
"But Jack isn't hurting me," Josh said.
"No, he's not," Chris agreed. "You've been happier in the past two weeks than you have in months. You're not just yourself again, you're back, and you're alive, JC. You're the guy I made friends with, and you're happy, but you still won't talk about it. JC, if you're happy, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide that, or keep it to yourself. I want you to share it with me, because I'm your friend, and I want to be happy with you."
Josh let go of my hand, and took Chris's.
"I understand," Josh said. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I didn't do it on purpose. I just didn't have anyone to talk to."
"No, you forgot that you do," Chris said. "Apology accepted, and I'm sorry I forced this, but I think it needed to be out."
I snickered again. I was getting really good at ruining serious moments.
"No pun intended," Chris said, chuckling. "So, what's in your bag?"
"Cheese Danish," Josh answered, unrolling the top.
Over the rest of breakfast, Josh and I gave Chris a slightly censored version of our story. Chris was smart enough to intuit where the sex should be, and kept making jokes about it, which had Josh turning red more often than not. I wondered if maybe we needed a better story, with more romance. I mean, "We got drunk, then we had sex," doesn't really make you think of cupids and shooting arrows. Well, maybe the shooting arrows, but that's beside the point. Chris asked a question here and there, mainly about the things Josh had worked out on his own, but he didn't raise the point again that Josh could have talked about it all along, and I respected him for not beating it into the ground.
After we finished eating, Chris decided to head out for a while, wanting to run errands before he picked up Lance at the airport and claiming that the two of us needed some time alone. He playfully mentioned on his way out that, "You know, I won't be home for a couple hours, at least, so I won't be in my bedroom, below your bedroom, and won't hear any noises that you, or your furniture scraping across the floor, might make," after which I playfully threatened the throw him over the railing, to help him get downstairs faster. Once he had gone, Josh and I decided to quickly wash up the breakfast dishes.
"So," I began, handing one to him to dry. "That wasn't too bad, was it?"
"No, no it wasn't," Josh agreed.
"I'm proud of you," I said, handing him another dish.
"Why?" he asked, looking at me.
"Because I think what you just did was very brave," I said. "You just put yourself out there, and left yourself completely vulnerable, and sometimes that's hard to do, but you did it anyway. And that's one of the reasons why I'm proud to be your boyfriend."
Josh leaned over, and I pecked him on the lips.
"I love you, too," he said. "But it really wasn't as bad as it could have been. He already kind of knew before I told him."
"True," I agreed, handing him the last plate. "But still, I think the rest of your friends are probably going to be ok, too. It's like I told you, the same way you told me, these are your best friends. You guys love each other, and they're going to love you for who you are and be happy that you're happy. You'll see."
"I hope you're right," he said, hugging me. "So what do you want to do today?"
"Do we have to do something?" I asked, sighing. "I'm still kind of tired, and we have had kind of a bumpy morning. Why don't we just chill out here for a while? Maybe go get some groceries, and just stay around the house?"
"I think that's a great idea," he said, still hugging me tightly.
His strong arms were wrapped around my back, and he was nuzzling his face under my chin, not kissing, just keeping a close, warm contact.
"You really want to just hang around this apartment all day?" I asked, stroking his hair.
"As long as you're here, yes," he answered.
"Awww, you're so sweet," I said. "That's mushy enough to deserve a little tongue."
I tilted Josh's head up, and we kissed softly, comfortably, before pulling back. His eyes were fixed on mine, sparkling, blue, and his face had that smooth look of contentment and peace, that look of love that was just for me. We kissed again, and I tried to send the same look back at him, tried to see him with my heart and show him what was in mine. I think I was successful, because that light never stopped shining onto me.
After we put the dishes away, we ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and then stopped at some little specialty food stores on the way home. Josh wanted fresh fruit, and beans for the coffee machine, and lunchmeat from a specific deli, and I just blindly followed along. It was kind of fun, and as Josh had said, mainly it was enjoyable just because I was with him. When we got back from the store, we had lunch, and then decided to just relax. Josh went into the spare bedroom to work on his keyboard, and I went to the living room to read. After a while I needed a change of scene, so I peeked into the bedroom, where Josh was playing away, with a pair of earphones on.
I slid quietly across the room and leaned over his shoulder, sliding my hands over his chest and just resting them there, on his pecs. He looked up and smiled, and I felt his pecs dance as he reached up to tug the earphones aside.
"Hi," I said, looking down at him.
"Hey," Josh said, looking back up at me.
He slid his hands over mine, and held them there. I felt his heart beating, and I rubbed my nose through his hair.
"I'm going out to read by the pool for a while, ok?" I asked.
"Sure," he said. "I'll miss you."
"How's it going in here?" I asked. There was a lot of scrawled and crumpled paper in front of him.
"Good," Josh answered. "I'm really making a breakthrough on this."
"I'll leave you to it, then," I said, sliding off of him.
"Thanks," he said, blowing me a kiss. "Come get me when you get bored again."
I waved as he slid the headphones back on, and then went down to the pool. The lounge chairs turned out to be pretty comfortable, and no one was really around, so I read in silence for a while. At some point I drifted off, and was awakened by a loud splash. Shaking myself awake, I looked up in time to see Justin swim up to the side closest to me. Staying in the pool, he folded his arms on the side, and rested his chin on them.
"Hi, Jack," he said, smiling.
His short blond hair glistened in the sun with pool water, which also ran in rivulets down his face. His mouth was a little smaller than Josh's, his lips a little pinker, but it smiled easily, revealing perfect pearl teeth. His arms bulged, folded, as he rested his head on them, and he radiated tan good health.
"Hi, Justin," I said, sitting up a little.
"Did I wake you?" he asked. "I thought I was quiet."
"It's ok," I answered, shrugging. "I probably shouldn't be sleeping in the middle of the courtyard anyway."
"What's that you're reading?" he asked, pointing at the book on my lap.
"Oh, Stephen King," I said. "Good books to travel with."
"You read a lot?" he asked, his legs kicking lazily behind him. I couldn't see them, but I could hear the splashes.
"Yeah, I guess so," I answered.
"You're pretty smart, right?" he asked. Where was this going?
"I like to pretend I am," I said, smiling. After a second he smiled along with me. "What's up?"
"Brit's gone for the day, and I'm supposed to tape her shows, but I don't know how to set the VCR," Justin said. "Nobody else is home."
"Josh is upstairs," I said. "He's working, though, so he probably can't hear the phone."
"Do you think maybe you could help me set the VCR?" Justin asked. "If I can't I'll have to stay in there and watch them, and I kind of wanted to swim today."
"Sure, I don't mind," I said.
"Cool," Justin said.
He unfolded himself out of the pool in what seemed one long flex, arms bulging again and pulling him up as his tanned torso rose ab by ab from the pool. Water coursed down his toned pecs, dripping off his pointed pink nipples, darkening the golden hair on his arms and the tiny trail of it on his stomach that led into a full, tight speedo of bright blue to an amber brown. The bulge of his package shifted as one leg, and then the other, slid up out of the pool, and then he was standing before me, six feet of attractive, southern boyish charm, like Josh a picture of corded muscle.
I caught myself looking, and remembered that my boyfriend was sitting upstairs at this very moment, and that this was his best friend. Then again, what harm was there in just looking? Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're blind to the attractiveness of others. You just don't act on it.
Besides, Justin had done quite a bit of looking last night. Why couldn't I?
"You wanna go do it now?" he asked, his head cocked to one side like a puppy.
"Sure," I answered, lifting myself out of the chair.
Luckily Justin already had his back turned, because I realized I was hard. I made a quick adjustment to my pants, to get things under control, or at least less obvious, and followed Justin up the stairs, watching water trickle down his spine and bead up on the hairless skin of his back. His ass flexed beneath the tight speedo with each step, and it shifted alarmingly every time he moved a leg, threatening to reveal a hint of his ass crack. I reminded myself again that I had a boyfriend sitting in the next apartment, but then also reminded myself that there was no harm in looking at and appreciating the male form, especially when it was formed so well.
Justin's apartment was set up the same as Josh's, even down to the similar furniture. I followed him over to the entertainment center, where he handed me the remote for the VCR, and explained what channel and what time he needed.
"I'm just gonna, you know, go dry off," he said, cocking his head toward the bedroom.
"OK," I said. "This should only be a second."
I quickly programmed the VCR, wondering if Justin really could be incapable of performing so simple a task. When it was done, I walked over to the bedroom to tell him, and I stopped just before the partially opened door. Justin's blue speedo was crumpled on the floor next to the bed, and the smooth globes of his bare ass were facing me, their pale white contrasting sharply with the tan above and below the line of his suit. His arms, raised, held a towel over his head as he vigorously dried his hair. Glancing to the left in an effort not to look at his ass, I saw that he was facing the mirror over the dresser. The towel covered his face, preventing him from seeing me, and my eyes involuntarily slid down the line of his neck, the crease of his chest, the tightly pulled ladder of his abs, and down to his cock with its candy-pink head, the same shade as his nipples, as it lay on top of his jiggling balls, surrounded by dark amber curls.
I stepped back immediately, walking quickly back to the VCR. What the hell was wrong with me? My cock was throbbing, and I had to focus on keeping my voice level, and pretending I hadn't seen anything.
"Justin, I'm all done with this, so I'm going to go back to my book now," I called loudly.
"Wait a sec!" Justin yelled, walking out of the bedroom with the towel tied around his hips, clinging to him, bulging temptingly in the front. "Can you show me how you did that?"
"Sure," I said, quickly walking him through the programming menu. I handed him back the remote, and he took it, his fingers sliding over mine just an instant longer than was necessary.
"Thanks," he said, his dark eyes staring into mine.
"No problem," I said, quickly sliding out the door.
Deciding that I really didn't need to spend any time trying to read with Justin swimming laps in the pool next to me, I returned to Josh's living room. I made us a quick lunch, and retrieved him from the studio.
"Did you have a good time reading?" he asked, pouring dressing onto his salad.
"Yeah," I said, smiling. "I had to show Justin how to program his VCR, too, but other than that I didn't see anybody."
"I just showed him how to do that last week," Josh said, laughing and shaking his head. "I can't believe he forgot already."
"Me either," I said, forcing myself to laugh along with him.
After lunch, we went out to buy a gas grill, and barbecue supplies. When we came back, Josh called everybody, and invited them to an impromptu cookout down in the courtyard for dinner. Chris and Lance had returned from the airport, and they both enthusiastically accepted, and Justin said he'd be there with Britney. I asked Josh what had brought this on, and he explained that he wanted to talk with all of his friends, all at once, and tell them about us.
"Are you sure?" I asked, reading the grill assembly instructions. "It's kind of a big step."
"Yes, I'm sure," Josh said. "It's like Chris said this morning, I want to share my happiness with my friends, so that they can be happy with me. Why? You don't think I should tell them?"
"I didn't say that," I said, staring blankly at the toolbox Jackie had provided us. We invited her to the cookout as well, but she refused through a cloud of smoke, explaining that tonight was the night she got her tea leaves read. "I've told you all along that it's your decision, and however you want to go about it is fine with me. They're your friends, and you know them better than I do."
"I know," he said, removing the toolbox and the instructions from me. "I want to share you with them."
"OK," I said, smiling, shaking my head to clear out any thoughts of Josh sharing me with naked, wet Justin.
What was wrong with me? And what was wrong with Justin? Was I reading too much into this afternoon? Maybe he had just forgotten to close the door, and all he really needed was to have the VCR programmed. Maybe he was just too surprised to move when he saw us last night in the studio. He could have been in shock, right? But why didn't he say anything to either of us?
By the time dinner rolled around, we had assembled the grill, and managed to light it without either of us being consumed in a huge gas explosion. Justin and Brit arrived in matching shorts and Hawaiian shirts with a selection of salads from one of the delis nearby, and Chris came with a few liters of soda, a carton of wine coolers, and a twelve pack of beer, the bottles all arranged with ice in an aluminum tub. I marveled at the absurdity of it, looking so much like a prop from a commercial, and watched as Chris joined Josh at the grill, making fun of the bright red "Kiss The Cook" apron Josh had insisted on buying. Justin and Brit were facing each other on the lounge chairs, playing some sort of game that seemed to involve pretending to steal each other's noses, and I ran back up the stairs to Josh's apartment to get the rest of the stuff. I was pouring chips into bowls when I heard a voice behind me.
"Hello?" someone called.
"Hi," I said, turning around. It was Lance.
"Hi there," he said, extending his hand. "I'm Lance, in case you didn't remember. I came up to see if you needed any help."
"Hi," I said. "I think I'm good with this, but if you could grab the plates, it would be a big help."
Lance and I carried everything else down, setting it all out on the picnic table with the buns and the condiments. Lance asked me a couple of quick questions about myself, just to refresh himself on who I was, and then Josh called to us that dinner was served. During dinner, we all just kind of sat around, talking and laughing, much as we had the previous evening. Lance told us a little about his trip, and Brit talked about where she'd been all day and how the interviewer kept asking her all of these really hard questions about current events and stuff. I almost aspirated a chip while she said that, and Chris quickly joined me in my coughing fit.
When we were more or less done eating, and were just picking through the chips and the salads, Josh called for everyone's attention.
"I know that we've all been talking and hanging out all along tonight, but I kind of asked you guys to come down for a specific, personal reason," Josh began, fidgeting nervously with his apron-matching chef hat. "I know that things have been kind of strained for a while, with us, and that that's mostly my fault. I haven't really been there for you guys, and I haven't let you be there for me, and that's because I was dealing with a lot of stuff, and I didn't think you'd understand."
Inwardly I applauded Josh's courage, while outwardly I smiled at him.
"I wanted to get you guys together, even though Joey's still not here, to apologize, and to let you know that I'm past it," Josh said, still twisting that hat.
"JC, dude, easy on the hat," Chris said. "You're doing fine."
"Yeah, whatever it is, you can just tell us," Brit said, leaning back against Justin as they shared a lounge.
Josh took a deep breath.
"I guess what I wanted to tell you is that I've been kind of doubting myself, and who I was, and that made me doubt all of you as well, but that's over now," Josh said. "I know who I am, and I met someone who helped me, and who still helps me every day, and I love him. It's Jack."
Everyone looked at me during the collective silence that followed, except Chris, who was watching everyone else.
"When you say you love Jack," Lance began quizzically.
"I mean I love him," Josh said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up to stand next to him. "I love Jack. We're together."
Lance was glaring at me.
"Cool," Justin said carefully. "We're happy for you."
"That's so great!" Brit said, clapping her hands.
"That isn't great! It's not cool!" Lance yelled, glaring at me. Josh took a step back, his face twisting in pain and confusion. "What did you do to him?"
Hmmm, that could have gone better. That's all for now.