Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
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If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
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I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I've enjoyed hearing from all of you, and damn has the commentary been rolling in after the last couple chapters!
Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?
Justin was wearing the same outfit he'd had on earlier, jeans barely hanging off of his slim hips, sleeveless t-shirt stretched tightly across his chest. His arms hung loosely at his sides, and he smiled at me, that perfect glowing smile that lit up his whole face as his blue eyes sparkled like gaslights. He looked so open, and friendly, so damn boy next door (if the boy who lived next door to you was utterly hot, that is) that something inside my head shifted as I tried to reconcile the image of warm, outgoing Justin with the domineering, abusive, sexually manipulative Justin that I'd seen only hours earlier.
How could he do it? How could he do that to someone who was supposed to be his friend? I wondered if I might really be trapped in a soap opera after all. This would be so much easier to explain if Justin had an evil twin, or a split personality. I stared at him, my mind still reeling, and seemed to actually feel the world turning beneath my feet as we stood gaping at each other.
"I came to see if you ate yet," he said.
"What about Lance?" I asked, blurting the first words that came into my head. Oh my God, did I just say that? "Or Chris and Joey?"
"I think Lance had something earlier," Justin said, so smoothly innocent I wanted to scream. "And Joey and Chris are out somewhere. I think they went to Hooters again. Besides, I thought we said earlier that we were gonna hang out tonight."
"Oh, that's right," I said. "We did say that, before."
"Before what?" Justin asked, his head tilting quizzically to one side.
Before I saw you dick-smacking Lance and enjoying it, some voice in my head muttered.
"Before we came back from the airport," I said, finally starting to feel like I had myself under control.
If Justin could pretend nothing was happening, so could I, but not for long. I couldn't sit on what I'd seen forever, but I needed to think about it before I said anything. I couldn't just blurt things out. I needed to plan what I was going to say, and make sure that I actually got the message across before this sudden sense of outrage I was feeling overwhelmed me and reduced me to screaming at him. I wanted to slap him, and then slap him again, and until I got that impulse under control I couldn't talk to him about what I'd seen.
"Um, Jack, are you going to ask me in?" Justin asked.
I realized I was physically blocking the doorway with my body as he stood waiting. I stepped aside.
"I'm sorry," I said, wondering if I should even be letting him come inside. I wished again that Josh was here.
"Jack, are you ok?" Justin asked, sitting on the couch. He sat down in his classic Justin way, completely comfortable, completely at ease, completely certain that he was the center of attention. "You seem kind of out of it."
"I'm fine," I said blandly, switching on a lamp. I'm fine, Justin, I'm just worried that somehow I'm going to end up on my knees in front of you, and I won't know how I got there.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "You're just acting a little weird. Is it 'cause you miss Josh?"
"Yeah, I think that's it," I said quickly. "I miss Josh already, because I love him."
Wait, had I just agreed with Justin? That's how he got you! What was I thinking?
I stopped myself right there. I couldn't keep doing this, or I would second guess every single word I said. I already had enough to think about without this, too. And besides, Justin wouldn't play those games with me. He'd already had his chance, with Josh and I both, and he was our friend. He wasn't friends with Lance, as far as I could tell, so maybe that made it acceptable in Justin's head for him to treat Lance the way he had. Chris had pointed out that Justin was very protective of his friends, and I had to believe that was true. I had to believe it, or I wasn't even going to be able to talk to Justin, much less go to dinner with him.
"Yeah, I know," Justin said, laughing. "No one said you didn't."
"Justin, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I've been in here cleaning all afternoon, and I think I'm kind of out of it more than I thought."
"Do you still want to go out tonight?" he asked, leaning forward, looking concerned. How was it possible for Justin to look cute, no matter what he was doing?
"Maybe just to dinner, and not to a movie," I said apologetically. "I haven't heard from Josh yet, and I want to know if he's ok, and how things are going."
"Well, why don't you bring your cell phone, and we'll just go somewhere nearby?" Justin suggested. "Maybe that little bistro caf‚ place up around the corner."
"The one by the bread store?" I asked. "Sure."
Justin stood, stretching, pulling that t-shirt even tighter as the bottom rode up, giving a glimpse of the waistband of his Tommy boxers above his low hanging jeans.
"I'm going to go grab another shirt, or a jacket or something," he said. "Meet you in the parking lot?"
"Sure," I said, watching him leave.
After the door closed behind him I let out a long, slow exhale. That had gone well, once I settled down, but it was still a little uncomfortable. Part of the problem was that I was also always a little unsettled by Justin. I found him extremely attractive, and he knew I did. He wasn't actively throwing himself at me any longer, and we'd had a long discussion about how he didn't really want Josh or I, but that little snippet of sexual tension still lingered between us. Not even the threesome had removed it completely. Now, adding in the newly conflicted loyalties of the friendship I felt for Justin, and trying to reconcile them with the way I felt about what he was doing to Lance, I wondered how I was going to deal with him for the next couple days.
And then I wondered what was going to happen after that, after I confronted him. Would he think I was spying on him? Would he still want to be my friend? And what was going to happen when Josh found out? I didn't think I needed to tell the other guys, but I was already keeping too much from Josh. I needed to get this straightened out, and figure out what was going on with whoever kept sending me these clippings of myself, before Josh came back. If I didn't get it all worked out, I resolved that I would tell Josh anyway. It wasn't right to keep things from him, and it also wasn't fair for him to be so concerned about being honest with the people he loved when I wasn't doing the same.
I was still thinking about all of this when I met Justin down in the parking lot. We drove in silence over to the bistro, Britney's songs pouring out of the speakers. Under any other circumstances the familiarity of her voice might have been soothing, but I realized now that she would probably also end up involved in however this worked out.
"Justin, did you tell Britney about us?" I asked. His head jerked toward me in surprise.
"Where did that come from?" he asked. He sounded a little annoyed, but mostly just curious.
"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I was just thinking about it, because you have her on the radio. I shouldn't have blurted it out like that, and, you know, it's really none of my business anyway, so never mind. Just forget I asked."
"Well, no, it's not a problem that you asked," he said, parallel parking with an ease I'd never mastered. "No. I didn't tell her. There wouldn't be a point to it."
"No point?" I asked. He cheated on her. Was he ever planning to tell her?
"Well, no, not really," he said, turning off the car. "I mean, it was just a one time thing. It's not like I'm going to end up in bed with you two again, so why let her worry about it? If I tell her, she'll wonder all along if I really still like guys, and every time we go on tour she'll wonder if I'm sleeping with Josh or if I'm thinking about her. Why? Are you planning to tell her?"
"No, of course not," I answered. "It's not my place to tell her, not if you're ok with keeping it from her."
Justin put a hand on my arm. He didn't look angry, but I was getting the impression that he didn't really want to have this discussion.
"Jack, do you tell Josh every little thing that happens to you?" he asked, leaning in. "Every time you look at another guy, and think something sexual? Do you tell Josh everything that you're thinking, all the time?"
Justin was leaning in very close, and suddenly the car seemed very small. I could feel his breath on my face.
"No, Justin, I don't," I said, staring into his eyes. I wasn't going to pull away, and give him the upper hand. "And I'm not telling you how to live your life, or run your relationship with Britney. I was just curious."
Justin let go of me, appearing satisfied, and leaned back.
"Jack, I played around, but it was only that one time," he said. "If I fell in love with someone else, I'd tell her. If I ever played around, and felt feelings of any kind for that person, I'd tell Brit in a heartbeat. But if, you know, every once in a while, I slip, why does she need to know?"
So it was ok to cheat on someone, as long as you didn't love the person you were cheating with? What a convenient moral structure. Under that guideline, it was also completely acceptable for Justin to receive blowjobs from Lance, but still feel committed and faithful to Britney.
"Besides, she does the same thing to me," Justin said simply. It caught me completely off guard.
"What?" I blurted. "She doesn't seem like she'd do that."
"Brit and I have an understanding," he said. "As long as we're together, we're only for each other. If we're separated, and one of us slips, it's ok, as long as we're not slipping too far."
"Interesting arrangement," I said, turning to open my door. "Come on, we've been sitting in the car too long. Let's go get some food."
"Do you and Josh have anything like that worked out?" Justin asked as I joined him on the sidewalk.
"No," I said, wondering why he was asking. "Josh and I don't play around on each other."
"Isn't it hard?" Justin asked as we walked up the sidewalk toward the bistro. "I mean, you know, you get kind of used to having sex. Don't you miss it?"
"Yes," I said, laughing. Sometimes Justin could be a typical twenty year old. "But, you know, there's more to a relationship than sex. I miss Josh, but I can wait until he gets back."
"That's cool," Justin said, grinning. "Josh is like that, too. You guys are perfect for each other."
"What about you?" I asked, keeping it light. We were just two buddies, talking about sex. I had to find out what he'd say. "Are you doing ok with Britney gone?"
"I get by," he said, grinning. I grinned, too, even though I felt like vomiting. "You doing ok?"
"It's only been a day, Justin," I said, shaking my head. "Besides, that's what I have a hand for."
We both laughed, and I followed him into the bistro. We ordered a couple of sandwiches, with chips and drinks, and took them to the little outdoor tables. There was a fence around the table area, so you weren't right out on the sidewalk, but you could still watch the cars and the people go by. Justin and I settled in, watching the people around us. He had on a floppy fisherman's type of cap, which we figured was disguise enough, and no one seemed to have noticed him. After a minute or two, we were pretty sure no one knew who he was, and we visibly relaxed and went back to our food.
Our cell phones sat next to each other in the middle of the table, and I found myself glancing toward mine for what seemed like the hundredth time, waiting for it to ring.
"You worried that he hasn't called?" Justin asked, following my eyes.
"A little," I said. "I mean, I know he's pretty distracted right now, but I thought he'd at least call to tell me the plane landed."
"I'm sure he'll call soon," Justin said. "He told me that you didn't like it if he called and didn't really have time to talk, so maybe he's waiting."
"I guess I did tell him that," I said, shrugging. "It's not too late where he is, anyway, so he'll probably call any time now."
"You worried about him?" Justin asked.
"A lot, actually," I answered. "Josh's family is so important to him. What if they don't take it well?"
"I think they will," Justin said, thinking about it for a moment. "I mean, I know them pretty well. They'll be a little surprised, probably, but they're not going to disown him or anything. Was your family ok with it?"
"Not especially, but I'm not very close to them anyway," I said. "They've always been more interested in my brother than in me."
"I didn't know you had a brother," Justin said, finishing his sandwich. "You've never mentioned him."
"We're not close," I said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd almost think he hated me."
"Nobody hates their brother," Justin said, smiling.
"You don't know us Springer kids," I said, smiling ruefully. "All my life, it's like he's been jealous of me or something, and I don't even know why. He's the one that could never do anything wrong."
"You talk to him lately?" Justin asked.
"Nope," I answered, finishing my soda. "I talk to him at Christmas. That's it."
"That's kind of sad," Justin said. "How do your folks feel about it?"
"I don't care," I said simply. "Justin, I don't want to talk about this, ok?"
"Sure," he said, shrugging. "It looks like we're done. You want to head back?"
"OK," I said.
We paid on our way out, and I bought a cookie for each of us at the register. Justin smiled and fawned over it as if it had fallen from the heavens, until I finally told him to shut up and eat it. When we got back to the apartment building, we agreed that maybe we'd go out tomorrow night, since I wasn't really feeling it tonight. As we walked upstairs, I realized that I hadn't thought about him and Lance for at least an hour or two, and then I wanted to smack myself in the head for allowing those thoughts to creep back in.
I wished again that Josh was still here, and wondered again why he hadn't called. I didn't want to call him yet, because I could imagine him sitting across from his sister, right in the middle of a deep personal revelation, at some achingly vulnerable point in the conversation, and suddenly being interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. Frustrated, I sighed, and looked at the clock. It was late enough that Carla should be home, but not so late that I couldn't call. She hadn't returned the last two messages I'd sent her, so I really needed to see what was up.
Her phone rang and rang, and when her answering machine finally picked up, it beeped about fifty times, which meant she still hadn't checked her messages.
"Carla, where are you? I'm starting to get kind of worried. Please call my cell phone."
Where could she be? As if I needed another thing to worry about.
I stripped down to my boxers, brushed my teeth, and settled into bed with my book. The bed seemed immensely huge with just me in it, and I wondered if it was possible for furniture to expand while no one was looking. The telephone ringing interrupted my musings on the flexibility of furniture dimensions.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hi," Josh said. His voice was warm, and seemed to roll right out of the phone over me. "How are you?"
"I miss you," I answered, sinking back into the pillows. "How are you? How's it going? Where are you now?"
"Slow down, kiddo," Josh said, laughing. "I'm on my sister's couch. Heather went to bed about five minutes ago, and I knew that you've probably been waiting all day for me to call."
"You know me so well," I said.
"I didn't want to call if I didn't have time to talk to you," he said.
"Justin said that, too," I said. "Do you listen to everything I tell you that closely?"
"Of course I do," he answered. "I love you."
"I love you, too," I said. "So, how is Heather's couch?"
"It's not bad," he said, sighing. "We had a good day, Jack."
"Everything went ok?" I asked. He didn't sound upset.
"Better than ok," Josh answered. I closed my eyes and shut off the lights. I usually did this when I was on the phone with Josh, because it helped me picture him. "Heather picked me up at the airport, and we went right out to eat. As soon as we were done with dinner, we came back here, and I sat her down for our talk."
"How did she take it?" I asked. "She didn't put you on the couch because she's mad at you, did she?"
"She put me on the couch because she only has one bedroom," Josh answered, laughing. "The conclusions you jump to. She took it kind of well. She had a lot of questions, about me, and about the girls I dated when I was younger, and stuff, but she was pretty good about asking them."
"You think your parents are going to take it well?" I asked, relieved that she hadn't freaked out. I could hear in Josh's voice that he was feeling a lot better about all of this.
"We talked about that, too, and about how I should tell them," he said. "I'm going to tell my mom first, before I tell my dad or Tyler. Heather and I thought maybe I should make sure she's with me, in case my dad doesn't take it so well."
"Are you worried that he's not going to?" I asked.
"Actually, not really," Josh answered. "My parents are pretty open minded. I think as long as they see that I'm happy, they'll be ok with it."
"I wish I was there with you," I sighed. "I mean, I want to support you on this."
"Jack, you are supporting me," Josh said emphatically. "Just knowing that you're right there, waiting for me, and that I can come back to you, no matter what happens, that's all the support I need. This is something I need to do myself, but I also need to know that you're right behind me."
"If this is what you need, then it's what I want to do," I said simply. "But if you do need me, all you have to do is call, and I'll be on the next plane, Josh. As it is, I can't wait for you to come back."
"I can't wait to be back," he said. "I just have to do this first, you know?"
"I know," I said.
I didn't want to lay a guilt trip on him, but I really wished he were with me. I wanted to tell him everything, suddenly, just let it all loose, but didn't want to do it over the phone while he was too far away to do anything. I know he could have been concerned along with me, but he had enough to worry about, and, knowing the way he was, he'd want to drop everything and come back. I couldn't make him do that, because I agreed with him that he needed to be honest with his family. Everything going on here would just have to wait.
"Heather had a lot of questions about you," Josh said, snapping me back to reality.
"What did you tell her?" I asked, curious.
"A string of horrible lies," Josh answered smoothly. "After all, I want her to like you."
"Jerk," I said, smiling.
"I love you," he said.
"That doesn't make it ok," I said. "But I love you, too."
We talked for another hour or so, but not about anything important. He talked about the flight, and his sister, and I told him about cleaning the apartment, and going to dinner with Justin. None of it was very exciting stuff, and most of the conversation just consisted of us sighing a lot, and telling each other we loved and missed the other. Eventually we began to yawn, and I cut the call short, knowing that once Josh started yawning I had about two minutes before he was completely unconscious. He promised to call me tomorrow, and I told him good night, telling him again that I loved him and that I was here if he needed me.
I set the alarm clock, and went to bed. My last thought, before my head hit the pillow, was that I wished again that Josh were there.
I woke up sometime in the dark when I felt a hand slide over my chest, caressing, sliding over my pectorals, brushing past my nipples. I sighed, caught in the unthinking boundary between being asleep and being fully awake, and tilted my head back into the pillows as I felt a second hand join the first, easing gently across me, rubbing, massaging. Fingers began to pinch my nipple as the other hand slid up my neck, sliding up into my hair and pulling my head forward.
"Josh?" I sighed, thinking somehow that he had flown back while I was sleeping.
"Shhhhhhh," he breathed against my neck.
I felt his hair, short and bristly, scraping softly against my chin as he nuzzled under my neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking. He was worrying over that spot where he'd left a hickey the night before, and the feeling of him sucking at the bruise was exquisite, pleasure mixed with just the littlest bit of discomfort. I felt his tongue and mouth sliding up, over my jawbone, and then his lips fastened over mine. I thought numbly that Josh had learned a whole new way to kiss while he was gone, because this wasn't a big, sloppy Josh kiss. This was a quick, darting tongue kiss, and his lips felt different, firmer, and his little strip of a beard was gone. The chin scraping over mine was smooth.
I realized that it wasn't Josh.
I struggled to wake up, but couldn't. I couldn't even open my eyes, and the hands and mouth sliding over me were setting me on fire. I felt a mouth clamp down on my nipple, sucking and biting, pressed against it in a tight circle, as I felt those hands at the waistband of my boxers, tugging them down. My boxers slid down my legs, and then were gone as a warm, wet tongue crawled down my abs.
"No," I sighed weakly, writhing back against the mattress as I felt lips against my cockhead.
"Yes," someone whispered.
I looked up from the pillow, and suddenly managed to open my eyes, just in time to meet Justin's bright blue ones as he slid smoothly down my cock, pulling the whole thing into his throat. It was like sliding into hot, velvety oil, and my hips jerked up involuntarily as I felt his tongue swirling around my shaft.
"Justin, no," I sighed again.
I didn't sound very convincing, even to myself, as I was almost lost in the sensations radiating up from my cock. Feeling myself plunge again and again into his throat, sliding over the sandpaper wetness of his tongue, I thought that it was the hottest blowjob I had ever received. Still, I brought my hands to his head, and tried to pull him off, even as I jerked and thrust beneath him. I tugged at his head, but he seemed attached somehow, like a leech. I felt something shift, some change in the texture of what I was feeling, and the eyes that tilted up toward me suddenly weren't Justin's anymore.
They were Lance's, wide, blue, and wet with tears.
I continued pulling at the sides of his head, and watched as my cock slid out of his mouth, his lips clinging to it before releasing it to smack wetly against my stomach.
"It's ok, Jack," Lance said, still crying. "Justin says it's what I want."
He began to lean down toward my cock again, and I slid away from him backwards, crawling up the bed on my hands, skittering along. The sheets rustled beneath my fingers, and then crackled and crumpled, and I realized they weren't fabric anymore. They were newsprint, page after page of the stupid gossip column. There were pictures of me and Josh in bed, and me and Lance, and Justin and Josh and I together, things that had happened, and things that had never happened. I looked up, and Lance was standing above me on the bed with a gleaming pair of scissors.
"I have to cut these out now," he said, reaching toward me.
I suddenly felt very unsafe, and turned, trying to get away as he began to bring the scissors down in a sweeping arc, plunging the flashing blades toward me. I pushed the papers aside, ripping through them, trying to climb further up the bed, as I heard him coming closer behind me. Suddenly hands slid up my chest from behind, the arms crossing over me as the hands clamped down on my shoulders, and I knew it wasn't Lance anymore. I felt a hard cock pressing against my ass, and knew it was Justin again.
"No," I said weakly, trying to squirm away.
"It's ok, Jack, I know what you want," Justin breathed against my neck. "I know what everyone wants."
I screamed as he pushed into me, his cock impossibly huge, splitting me open, and then I was sitting up in bed, covered in sweat and breathing hard. My boxers were still on and the bedroom was empty. The sheet was wrapped around me.
"Jesus," I panted, holding my head in my hands. "Jesus Christ."
I needed to get all of this worked out, before it drove me insane.
More to come soon.