Ch. 8 Shit Happens
Christmas break provided everyone at my school with a nice three and a half week vacation to recover from Finals. Alex and I finally managed to spend some quality time together at last, but as we were both home with our parents for the break, we didn't get to fool around too much. The two of us spent long hours together just holding one another at night, and it wasn't long before I got that feeling of utter emptiness when I was deprived of Alex's presence. Although the element of sex was almost all but absent due to our reluctance to hook up beyond kissing and cuddling in our parents' homes, the emotional bond between us flourished over that all too short three week period of bliss. The penumbra of lust and love that charged the air when we were together became so potent that it threatened to expose our liaison to almost everyone around us. At the time I didn't realize that our budding love would prove to be more fragile than a brittle sheet of glass.
Fate allowed me a stay of leave in dealing with my situation with Sean now that my feelings for Alex had changed things. Sean decided to take on a more active role on campus, and although he still had football stuff to do a couple days a week, he joined the soccer team and pledged the "jock" frat that most of the guys in both his sports generally flocked to. Between Sean's new activities, classes, and Alex, the two of us saw very little of one another for the first month back in school.
Things with Alex and I remained fairly stable for awhile, although things between the two of us and James and Brent got awkward. The two of us never came right out and told them that we were "together", but our actions spoke loud enough to get the message across. Brent seemed pleased and encouraging of it all, but I was more than a little surprised at the acidic reaction from James, especially since all his malice seemed to be directed towards me, and not Alex. I quickly came to meet his pissy attitude with my own resentment following several instances in which he tried to talk Alex into stopping by for a solo hook up between the two of them. The constant pressure James put on Alex started to get to him after some time, and it became all too obvious that I had put an abrupt wedge between the two of them.
When I finally decided to bring all of this up with Brent, he provided me a wealth of unexpectedly straight-forward information. It seems I was more correct than I realized about the past between James and Alex; James and he had developed a frequent sexual relationship way back even before Alex and I began pledging, and Brent even noticed that James was losing interest in him in favor of Alex.
"He and I have always just been best friends with good benefits, but I have to admit I was glad to see you steal Alex away from him. I don't think Alex was as emotionally attached as James was getting, but it was obvious to me that my boy was falling hard for your boy Lex, although I don't think he admitted it to himself until after you diverted all of Lex's attention. Trust me, James will be over it soon enough, Alex told him how much he cares about you, and I know James well enough to know that he won't cause you two much of a head ache for long. Also, I think James is trying to get me to finally make a real commitment to him more than anything, which I realize is something that has been past due for awhile now."
Time proved Brent correct in his assumptions about James, it wasn't long after he and I had our little sit-down that Brent finally broke down and told James that he wanted the two of them to settle down into something exclusive. Luckily James jumped at the chance to have the guy he had truly been wanting for so long all to himself, but my pessimism told me that it was only a matter of time until their situation would become strained, seeing as how they had settled into the routine of bringing other guys into their own tryst for almost the whole time they had been friends and lovers.
Although Alex and I survived James' attempt to woo Alex into his bed, we didn't have what it took to withstand the might of the Roman Catholic Church. Alex was brought up a strict Catholic, and his family was a very traditional old-world Italian household. There were a few major hang ups that Alex's family had hammered into his head and "no gays" ranked high on the list. Despite his conscious efforts to accept what he was, having grown up in an environment that encouraged the thought of homosexuals in particular as either unholy or unclean and ultimately inferior to the traditional (Catholic) lifestyle was a tough thing for Alex to get over.
I was brought up Catholic in an Italian/Irish family, but my parents were even less observant to the religious traditions than I. The hypocrisy of the church came to a head for me when I was an alter-boy. I readily quit my position as an acolyte of the mass when one of the priests at the church let his hands roam a bit too freely with myself and a couple of my friends; how could the Church condemn gays when so many of their clergy men were not only gay, but in the habit of fondling boys that were severely younger than they? My faith and over-all respect for the good the Church did remained intact, but the unrealistic position they had on gays being unredeemable in their damnation made it hard for me to take any of their shit seriously anymore. Luckily for me my parents, as I mentioned above, were even less interested in the opinions of the Church than I was following Father Fondler's lax in control of his libido.
Unfortunately, Alex was not so enlightened. His parents and sister were constantly fixing him up with "nice girls" from their church, and he still remained a devout, albeit greatly conflicted, Catholic. Slowly over a period of a few weeks the two of us drifted apart, as Alex became noticeably uncomfortable with any show of affection along with a refusal to reject the blind dates his family would set him up with. It wasn't long before my patience wore thin in the face of Alex's sudden reluctance to spend any time with me at all, let alone in a romantic sense, and his ever increasing time spent going on dates with girls. Alex grew more and more ashamed of his dalliances with members of his own sex, and the stress of his double life began to grain heavily on him. After several breakdowns I witnessed Alex have over his "betrayal" of his faith and family, and his conflicting emotions over wanting to be with me but at the same time being disgusted with himself when he was, I decided that I cared for him too much to put him through all this, even if his family was either oblivious to what they were doing to him or simply indifferent if they were aware that he had developed outside their ideals of how a good Catholic boy should behave.
The separation proved to be painful for us both, but at the time no other feasible option presented itself. Alex and Vince were history, and although we tried to return to a normal friendship, it was not possible. I suffered the entirety of the gauntlet of angst, depression, anger, fear and loathing in the period following the break-up, but in the end I just shielded myself in a web of forced indifference. I had to forget Alex as best I could, and that meant removing my self from any situation in which I might see him. I realized that the ties of faith and family were potent and powerful, but I still bore deep resent towards him for choosing to please his parents over continuing our love. I vowed to never allow myself such weakness again; my heart grew hard as stone and black as pitch, allowing nothing to penetrate my veil of utter selfishness and general anger towards anything and everything that walked around with a dick.
I remained in a funk for a couple of weeks, and this did not go unnoticed by Sean, nor had he failed to pick up on the fact that Alex and I were more than just friends. My room mate proved just how nice of a guy and how good of a friend he was by seeming to go out of his way to cheer me up, but seemed reluctant to probe too deep into what was bothering me. After the first week I started to come around, but I still distanced myself from the fraternity, with the exception of Brent, who had been a great help in giving me advice on how to deal with the break up and listening to me vent my frustration. Finally, after noticing that I barely got out of bed at all for an entire weekend, Sean confronted me about my pissy mood of late.
"Yo man, what's wrong? I'm startin' to worry about ya sitting here all quiet all the time. Is every thin' okay? Is it just me or what?"
"Nah man, I'm sorry, it's not you at all; I've just been going through some shit is all."
"Let me know if I'm getting' too personal here, but does it have something to do wit you and yo friend you always were hangin' out wit?"
"Eh, yeah, kinda. But I don't think we'll be hanging out much any time soon. Anyways, I'm sorry if I've been a downer, I just needed some time to, I dunno, think about some things."
"Ah, I think I got ya. Well listen bro, I hope I'm not getting' too personal again but yo, you should just say fuck it to that kid. I could tell you two were kind... uh, how do ya put it, involved or somthin', but..."
"Its cool, I was going to say something about it but IT didn't last long enough for me to even bring it up. And I didn't want to make you feel awkward about anything, considering our, uh, arrangement and all."
"For future references it wouldn't have made me feel awkward, but I was disappointed at the thought of our `arrangement' coming to an end. But yo, we are friends first, so as long as you are happy I'm happy."
"Well, thanks, it means a lot that you say that. But I still feel like a jerk for not having said anything about Alex and me."
"Dude, you don't have to explain yourself to me, and you sure as hell aren't a jerk! I just want to get yo out of dis funk you been in."
"Thanks man. I'm fine, honestly, I just haven't been motivated to be very social."
"I understand that bro. Listen, I got to run out for a few hours but I'll be back tonight if you feel like doing anything."
"Sure dude, it would be nice to catch up a little."
"Cool, I'll see ya around 8 then."
That night Sean and I went and ate at the diner down the block from campus and he told me about soccer and pledging the "jock" frat. It didn't seem like he was too keen on the frat thing anymore, and he was seriously considering pulling out of the whole deal over the vast amounts of tedious bullshit he was forced to endure, but I gave him some pledging advice and told him he might enjoy it all if he just stuck with pledging, but it seemed his mind was already made up. His friend Trey, the guy we would both score trees from now and then, was pledging with him, along with a few other guys he knew, and they were pretty much the only reason he was still going along with it all.
After diner Sean and I paid Trey a visit and got pretty freakin' baked. We sat around playing Madden for God only knows how long, and halfway through Sean brought out a bottle of whisky he had been holding on to and we started doing shots every time one of us got scored on. After only a single game of this, I was trashed, so we decided to pt the PS1 away and smoke another bowl; at that point neither of us was sober enough to roll up anything.
"Your boy Trey has got a good hook up."
"That he do, that he do. Trey is good peeps."
"Yeah, he is also hot as hell! I can't believe you had a three-some with him and Tim!"
"Yeah, the boy does have the goods alright. What's strange is we have probably only talked about the time me and him fucked Tim maybe once, if at all. But Tim tells me he sucks Trey's dick about twice a month, but now that Trey has fucked him, I'm pretty sure Tim gives up his ass to him when Trey wants it."
"Interesting."
"Yeah, well, you know me, I'd love to get down and dirty wit him again, but I don't want to push the issue unless I pick up on any hints from him." "Understandable. So... what do you feel up to now?"
That was all it took to get that look in Sean's eyes, and I could feel myself getting flushed with that old overwhelming feeling to get nasty with my roomie.
"Well, I dunno Vince, you know me, and you know what ya do to me." Sean looked down and gripped his monster cock through his slightly-baggy jeans. My eyes still got wide at the sight of that weapon of pleasure, and I could feel my dick and nipples get so hard I thought they would rip through my clothes. "I love the look ya give me wit those blue eyes of yours, and that's all it takes to get my dick at attention. But if you still need time, I more than understand."
"Hm, yeah maybe I do need a little time. Okay, that's enough."
Before I even realized what I was doing, my hand was rubbing Sean's dick through his jeans, as he had pulled me onto his lap. We made out and felt up one another's cocks, grinding and groping in a frenzy of pent-up passion that was long over due. In no time my shirt had been pulled over my head and Sean's lips and tongue took turns sending me into fits of pleasure as he alternated between sucking my right, then my left, nipple. I ground my ass hard against his dick, pushing my own into his tightly ripped stomach and causing my pants to dampen with pre-cum.
"Yo Vincent, I have been waitin' to eat that pretty pale ass of yours again, stud."
"Sounds good to me!"
With that, I was face down on my bed and Sean was pulling off the rest of my clothes. His huge, powerful hands griped my tight butt and parted my cheeks slightly.
"Oh damn, I love eatin' out this ass, it's hotter than any pussey I have eaten since comin' here." I couldn't help but let out a deep, loud moan at the indescribable pleasure that washed over me as Sean's tongue went to work. He would press lightly just below the rim of my ass with his index finger, but never penetrated me with anything but that well-experienced tongue of his, not that I'm complaining. That tongue knew exactly what to do, and where to do it. Sean ate my ass for so long and with such enthusiasm that I had to stop him or else risk splattering my load before we got to anything else.
Now it was my turn, and although I had every intention of returning the favor for the mind-blowing rim-job Sean had just given me, I wanted to taste that cock, I needed it to piston in and out of the back of my throat, and I realized how much I missed slurping down on that gigantic purple cock head of his. At first I blew Sean as he sat on my bed, but I had him stand up so he could face fuck me. As he thrust his hips forward, pushing that snake of his down my throat, which by now had grown accustomed to its unnatural size, my hands were busy fondling his black bubble butt cheeks.
Back on the bed, the two of us got into the good old 69-position, and I indulged my desire to swallow down Sean's plump balls. Although I more than enjoyed the blowjob my room mate was giving me, I broke out of the 69 and just kept sucking Sean's dick. I popped back up for a moment to nudge Sean into lifting his legs up to his chest, and repaid him for the rim-job in full. That tight ass of his got a good working over from my tongue, and I did my best to emulate the little tricks he had done to me that had sent my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
"Oh fuck yea, Vince, eat that ass like its mothafuckin' cake!"
I did my best to oblige, and gauging Sean's reaction in the form of loud moaning, twitching and his constant pinching of his nipples as I rimmed him seemed as if I was doing everything good enough, at least. After a few minuets more of honing my rim-job skills, Sean and I sat with our legs interlocked so we could jerk off face to face. Our tongues wrestled as we stroked our dicks and it wasn't long before we were both moaning and splattering each other in cum.
I suppose that indulging in sexual pleasures with my room mate was a bit of a selfish or shallow means of getting over the short-lived romance between myself and my best friend, but it damn sure was a lot of fun.