Jess' Story Chapter 8, Part II From Paul's viewpoint
It was the end of the summer before my freshman year in college. I'd been holed up in my room reading a lot of porn that summer and feeling so alone. So isolated. Nobody knew that sometimes I was attracted to guys. I was so confused by the urges and desires that seemed to bubble up from within me. My sexual urges were getting out of control. The way I felt back then, I both hoped and feared no one ever would find out.
I'd started reading "I Thought I Knew" shortly after it first began to be posted. I took to Jess from the very beginning. Billy's first words in the very first chapter said, "I thought I knew everything about Jess. I'd known him forever." Within a few chapters, I started to feel the same way.
I felt I could see into his heart and touch his feelings. I felt the way Billy must have felt. Like I'd spent all my free time with Jess. Like Jess and I had sat together side by side on the end of my bed and jerked off together almost every day. Sometimes more often than that.
In reality I'd spent years beating off alone. I'd learned how good it felt to make my dick hard when I was maybe 11 or 12. By the time I was 13 I'd discovered I liked to cum and was starting to realize that it was guys I liked. Girls were OK, but guys were becoming more and more interesting.
I hate to think how many hours I spent fantasizing that someday I'd meet a guy and . . . But once I started reading about Jess, I guess I sort of fixated on him. His life. He was what I thought about each time I pumped out another lonely load. Thinking of him, I didn't feel so lonely anymore.
It was close to love. I think of it as an enduring crush. His story made me cry and laugh. Like a lot of the guys who posted comments to the project on JUB, I got off more than I should probably admit. Jess was a dream come true for me. A guy struggling to figure out who he was. Where he fit in. What he should do.
I had the same struggles and fears as Jess did. What I didn't have was Billy or Justin. I wanted to be with Jess so bad. And spending time with Justin and Billy wouldn't hurt either. Even though I resented them for excluding Jess from so much.
I really wanted to send private messages to Jess. To tell him how much he had come to mean to me. How close I felt to him. How much I understood how he felt. Because I felt the same way.
I knew his story forwards and backwards. I've read the whole thing all the way through at least twice. And most chapters I read three or four times waiting for HardReader to post the next one. Some of my favorite chapters I have read a dozen or more times. I know when the story got to the part where Jess was with Billy and Justin in the hot tub, I probably came a dozen times that week reading that part again and again. Oh, hell, maybe more than 20 times that week. And plenty of times since. I still read it sometimes to help me get off and to bring back those memories of Jess.
All of that and I still never had the balls to write him.
But this Jess, the Jess who had stumbled into my life, Anne's Jess, he couldn't be the Jess from "I Thought I Knew." Hardreader had said that he changed a few things around so that no one could figure out who the three kids really were. While this Jess had the same name spelled the same way, too many other things didn't fit. I know HardReader won't let me say what was wrong, but I was sure from stuff that was in the story that this Jess wasn't that Jess. I couldn't make the pieces fit together. The Jess from "I Thought I Knew" couldn't be at this university at this time.
So why would Anne's Jess have given that one chapter of the story to her to read?
There was one more thing: Jess in the story didn't write the story. Anne said that her Jess told her he wrote it. Maybe this Jess was really HardReader. I didn't feel like I knew that much about HardReader. But it seemed to make more sense to me if the writer was a friend of Jess and Billy and Justin. A kid their own age, rather than some older guy writing the story for them like HardReader claimed to do.
So maybe this Jess was really HardReader and in the story he just swapped names around. But then why had Anne's Jess said the story was about him?
So maybe Jess was the writer of the story and the Jess in the story too. My mind kept coming back to that possibility. I wanted so badly to believe that I was finally meeting the Jess of my dreams. I was getting a headache thinking about it.
So that's where my thoughts were when I couldn't take any more and started to let all the possibilities go. I just stopped thinking about them and started imagining what it would be like if this kid really was THE Jess. I was almost instantly as hard as I had ever been. And with my horny cock, that's really hard. Like it hurt it was so hard.
My mind transported me back to the end of my bed. I was slowly jerking my cock side-by-side with my Jess. As he jerked his cock, he looked over at mine. I was so aching hard for him. And I looked back at his cock and he was just as hard as I was. Did he really want my cock as bad as I wanted his? In my mind, he looked at me and smiled and asked, "So, how do you like it?" Just what he'd said the first time I caught him jerking off in his room.
I sat silently stroking my cock and smiling back at him. He reached over and took my cock in his hand. I shivered as he wrapped his warm, moist fingers around it. The same pre-cum lubed hand he'd been using to stroke his own cock. It was almost like our cocks were touching each other.
I could feel my cock swell in his hand. I looked down and saw my purple helmet so slick and shiny. Full of blood. The skin stretched so tight across it. And his fingers moving steady. Up and down my penis. I knew this wouldn't last long. Couldn't last long. I had no control. My lust was getting the best of me.
I reached over and took hold of Jess' cock. I couldn't believe how warm it was. How alive it felt in my hand. How easy his flowing pre-cum made it to stroke. It was bigger than mine. Not a lot, but some. And he had more hair around his than I did.
As much as I wanted this to go on forever, it wasn't going to. Jess looked straight into my eyes and smiled. After that I didn't really see anything more. I just sort of fell inside myself. Consumed by the touch of a guy's hand on my penis. Overwhelmed by the surge I could feel building deep inside of me. I knew what was coming.
I held my breath. My chest was tight. My cock so sensitive I could scream with the feelings. Then I felt the movement inside me. My cock went completely rigid as Jess continued to pump me. He knew what was cumming and he wasn't backing off.
Oh my god, such intense sensations. Like fireworks in my penis. I didn't think I could stand much more and then . . . I came. I could feel my own cum splattering on my chest. So much cum. It was better than ever before. So much cum. So hard. So long. As my own orgasm eased, I felt Jess' cum running over my knuckles. Warm and slick. It felt so good. I felt so close to him at that moment. I could almost sense his heart beating in unison with mine.
I finally opened my eyes and looked down at the inevitable. My cum-covered cock was still hard. I was squeezing it tight in my own cum-covered hand. I was alone. As alone as I had ever been.
I let go of my cock and lay down on my bed. I really didn't care if Anne's Jess was the same as the Jess in the story. That didn't seem to matter anymore. All I cared was that Anne's Jess became my Jess.
I didn't want to hurt Anne, but if I had to . . .
I knew in my heart that the Jess I had always imagined since I first read about him looked and felt and smiled and talked and even smelled just like the Jess I had seen crossing the street. Just like the Jess who had smiled at me at the restaurant.
Things were starting to become clearer for me. Reading "I Thought I Knew" in high school had given me hope, made me feel I was not alone. It had changed my life. I guess in a way I thought I knew that HardReader's story was about to change my life once again.
I was older now. I realized that story had taught me an important lesson. I was responsible for myself. I needed to create my own future. I needed to find my own Jess. Even though he couldn't be the Jess I had dreamed of when I was younger, he could be my Jess. I had the chance to make it happen. I could make it happen. I would make it happen!
To Be Continued . . .
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The characters in this project are real. The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The Copyright for this story is held by HardReader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere in print, electronically or digitally without the permission of the author. I would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com
While you're waiting for the next episode, I hope you'll stay happy. And stay hard! -- H.R.